Specific Problems of Style in Technical Writing Page 1 of 10

Specific Problems of Style in Technical Writing

A. Clarity

Clarity is the single most important aspect of good technical writing. It enables the readers to
understand what the information being conveyed. Readers need facts, not hazy or imprecise
terms, to make decisions and accomplish tasks.

The following guidelines should be kept in mind:

1. Use specific and concrete words. Any statement which can have many different meanings
need to be made specific.

A prime cause of vagueness is the use of words which are too abstract to convey the
specific meaning intended. Notice how the following passage improves as it becomes
more specific and concrete.

General

Mankind needs to recognize the geographical limitations of communities and the advantages
of changes in environment. This is a principle which is evident in the movements and
migrations of the creatures of nature.

More Specific

For the improvement of one’s health, a change of environment is advisable. It is fortunate that
no one place encompasses the world. The vegetation and birds of one place do exist in
another. Migratory birds are more cosmopolitan than man; they eat their meals each day in
a different part of the country. Even some animals follow the seasons.

Very Specific

To the sick the doctors wisely recommend a change of air and scenery. Thank Heaven, here is
not all the world. The buckeye does not grow in New England, and the mockingbird is rarely
heard here. The wild goose is more a cosmopolite than we; he breaks his fast in Canada, takes
a luncheon in Ohio, and plumes himself for the night in a southern bayou. Even, the bison, to
some extent, keeps pace with the seasons, cropping the pastures of the Colorado only till a
greener and sweeter grass awaits him by the Yellowstone.

- Henry David Thoreau, Walden –

Specific Problems of Style in Technical Writing Page 2 of 10

2. Appropriate Verbs

Verbs are the key elements in most sentences. Awareness of the difference between
action and linking verbs, and active and passive voice is important in technical writing.

Weak Linking Verb: The Institution is considering the adoption of the DepEd Values Education
Program.

Strong Action Verb: The Institution will consider the adoption of the DepEd Values Education
Program.

Weak Linking Verb: The findings of the survey were under consideration by various sectors.

Strong Action Verb: Various sectors considered the findings of the educational survey.

In addition to the use of action verbs, the voice of the verb is likewise important. Verb
voice chosen must be appropriate to the tone and content of the sentence.

Active: During summer, several communities hold their town fiestas.

Passive: During summer, town fiestas are held by several communities.

Active: The All Filipino Corporation improved its cash flow by 30 percent in the third quarter.

Passive: The cash flow of the All Filipino Corporation was improved by 30 percent in the third
quarter.

Active: The senator introduced House Bill 8661 providing for women empowerment and for
other purposes.

Passive: House Bill 8661 providing for women empowerment and for other purposes was
introduced by the senator.

Thoughtless use of the passive voice may unquestionably produce writing that is both
wordier and less vivid than need be. Crisp and effective sentences can of course be written in
the passive. Most organizations expect reports to be written in the passive, but use the active
or passive voice by choice – not by accident. Choose the verb voice appropriate to the tone
and content of the sentence.
The passive voice is useful when the writer does not know or does not want to name the
doer in the sentence. The following sentences appropriately use passive voice.
Specific Problems of Style in Technical Writing Page 3 of 10

Example: The newly devised system of evaluation has been found ineffective. (doer of
action is not known)

The active voice is used for conciseness.

Example: The truck was overloaded by the workmen with lumber and galvanized Iron
sheets. (13 words)

The workmen overloaded the truck with lumber and galvanized sheets. (11
words)

3. Standard Expressions and Technical Jargon

The following should be avoided in technical writing:

a. Clichés are familiar trite expressions:

- last but not least

- at this point in time
- first and foremost
- in this day and age

b. Colloquialisms are informal expressions that are acceptable in informal

communications, personal notes and letters, but not in formal technical documents.
c. Slang expressions such as “pull himself together,” “chap,” “beef up,” “shell out,”
“hoot,” will not receive much respect from technical readers.
d. Technical jargon is the specialized vocabulary of a profession of particular group of
workers. In writing technical documents of readers who lack thorough knowledge
about the subject matter, technical slang should be avoided.

The following are some examples of technical slang:

- ceiling (limit)
- call out (refer to, specify)
- breadboard (preliminary model of circuit)
- optimize (put in the best possible working order)
- state of the art (present knowledge)
- trigger (start, begin)
- know-how (knowledge, experience)
Specific Problems of Style in Technical Writing Page 4 of 10

B. Conciseness

Wordiness

Conciseness, which means every word counts, is very important in technical writing.
Conciseness saves time and increases the forcefulness of writing. Although words and
sentences necessary to the thought and effectiveness of the information should not be
omitted, ideas should be expressed in as few words and sentences as possible. As a rule, short
and simple words should be selected, wordy phrases reduced, and needless words and ideas
omitted.

Example of needless words and ideas to be omitted:

Please repeat the sentence again. (5 words)

Please repeat the sentence. (4 words)

You will like the new style and will be very much pleased with it. (14 words)
You will be very much pleased with the new style. (10 words)

The letter of complaint was written by somebody who did not sign his name. (13 words)
The letter of complaint was not signed. (7 words)

Short, simple words and phrases characterize concise reports. Examples below illustrate
this point on the use of short simple words and reduced wordy phrases:

Preferred Words Not Preferred Preferred Words Not Preferred

Begin Initiate Before Prior to
Pay Compensation About With reference to
Fire Conflagration Consider Give consideration
True Veracious Conflicts Comes in conflict
Wordy Verbose with
Total Aggregate Operates Is in operation
Question Interrogate Now/Currently At this point in time
Find Out Ascertain Because/Since In view of the fact
Try Endeavor that
Despite In spite of
Specific Problems of Style in Technical Writing Page 5 of 10

Some overworked words and phrases are used so often that they become
tiresome to discriminating readers.

Appropriate instead of fitting, suitable

Assist instead of help
Cognizant authority instead of proper authority
Consider instead of think
Discontinue instead of stop
Endeavor instead of try
Investigate instead of study
Subsequent to instead of later, after
Transmit instead of send

C. Coherence

Coherence is the smooth flow of ideas and data. Transitional words prepare readers for the next
point or a change in direction. Transitions indicate that a sentence is continuing the same thought as
the previous one so that readers could prepare for a comparison and contrast, a conditional idea, a
time or a spatial relationship, a result, or an emphasis. Transitions tie thoughts and points together;
they do not replace data. However, transitions should be appropriate to the meaning of the sentence
they link.

Below are some common transitional words and phrases:

To Indicate Time To Add To Contrast

Finally In addition However

Before Furthermore On the other hand
After Also But
Soon Wherever In Contrast

To Compare To Indicate Space To Conclude

Similarly Beyond On the whole

In the same way Behind To summarize
In comparison Forward In conclusion
In the same manner In Front of In summary

To Indicate Cause

Because
For that reason
Since
Due to fact that
Specific Problems of Style in Technical Writing Page 6 of 10

D. Conventions of Standard English

1. Common sentence errors such as sentence fragments, comma splices, and run-on (fused)
sentences should be avoided in technical writing.

A fragment is a part of a sentence. The principal objection to fragment is that they

reflect incomplete and ambiguous thinking. Fragments are totally unacceptable in formal
reports.

Compare the fragments on the left with the revisions on the right.

Fragments Complete Sentences

It is one of the best reports filled with It is one of the best reports with
sufficient interpreted data. Corresponding sufficiently interpreted data and
tables to support the data included. corresponding tables to support the data.

That a manager should spend a certain A manager should spend a certain amount
amount of time looking into the working of time looking into the working
conditions of the employees. conditions of the employees.

2. Comma splices should be avoided in technical writing. Comma splices occur when two
independent clauses are connected by only a comma. A comma alone is not a sufficient
punctuation to end a complete thought.

There are five ways of correcting splices:

a. By using a period to write two sentences when the two clauses are not too related.

Comma Splice:
Human nature is seldom as simple as it appears to be, hasty judgments are
therefore often wrong.

Correct:
Human nature is seldom as simple as it appears to be. Hasty judgments are
therefore often wrong.

b. By using a comma, followed by a coordinating conjunction (and, but, or, for, yet,
so, nor) to join the two independent clauses

Comma splice:
Specific Problems of Style in Technical Writing Page 7 of 10

It was one hour before her official time, the teacher was in school to write her
board work, put up her devices and check on the physical arrangement of her
classroom.

Correct:
It was one hour before her official time, but the teacher was in school to write her
board work, put up her devices, and check on the physical arrangement of her
classroom.

c. By using a semi-colon between the clauses in place of the comma and the
coordinating conjunction when a degree of separation seems necessary to the
clarity of both clauses

Comma splice:
Certain streets in Tondo are narrow and dark, sour and sometimes foul smells
come out of the doorways and windows of the houses.

Correct:
Certain streets in Tondo are narrow and dark; sour and sometimes foul smells
come out of the doorways and windows of the houses.

d. By subordinating the lesser clause to the main clause

Comma splice:
Everybody was tense and nervous, Joseph alone remained calm.

Correct: When everybody was tense and nervous, Joseph alone remained calm.

e. By using a semi-colon followed by a conjunctive adverb and a comma.

Comma splice: All annual reports are due by the end of May, late reports may be
accepted upon the discretion of the secretary general.

Correct:
All annual reports are due by the end of May; however, late reports may be
accepted upon the discretion of the secretary general.

3. Run-on or Fused Sentences

A fused sentence occurs when two independent clauses have no punctuation and no
coordinating conjunction between them. With no separation, the clauses blur into each
other. A fused sentence confuses and annoys the reader more than the comma splice.
Specific Problems of Style in Technical Writing Page 8 of 10

Fused sentences may be corrected in the same way as a comma splice, i.e., by adding
appropriate end punctuation, by using a comma plus a coordinating conjunction, or by
subordinating one clause to another.

E. Sentence Structure and Length

Natural word order, simple sentence structure and fairly short sentences are needed in
good technical writing.

The normal, natural order of elements in English sentences is: Subject-Verb-Object or

Complement. Each of these elements may be modified or qualified by adjectives or adverbs.
The normal position of adjectives is in front of the words they modify. Adverbs come either
before or after the verbs they modify. This order of parts should generally be followed in
technical writing to ensure clarity and ease of reading.

Below are examples of sentences in the natural order and inverted order:

Natural Order: The report was prepared for the International Conference of University
Women.

Natural order with modifying words and phrases: The Philippines Triennial Report was
carefully prepared for the 23rd Conference of the International Federation of
University Women.

Inverted order: For the 23rd Conference of the International Federation of University
Women, the Philippine Triennial Report was carefully prepared.

Aside from the word order, the type of sentence structure is also important. In
general, simple sentences should outnumber the other sentence kinds: compound,
complex, and compound-complex. A simple sentence contains only one clause. A clause
is a group of words containing a subject and predicate. A compound sentence contains
two or more independent clauses. A complex sentence contains a dependent and
independent clause. A compound-complex sentence contains two independent clauses
and at least one dependent clause.

Simple Sentence

Juan and Pedro are students in the PNU.

The students live in a squatter area far from their schools.
Specific Problems of Style in Technical Writing Page 9 of 10

Compound Sentence

The first step in the research process is the identification of a research problem,
and the second step is the validation of the problem by looking for the theory to
support it.

Complex Sentence

The research process, which is the plan, structure and strategy for accomplishing
a study (dependent clause), includes such basic elements as research design,
sampling, measurements and data analysis.

Compound-Complex Sentence

Since researchers have to successfully carry out their studies (dependent clause),
they must be able to understand each of the basic elements of the research
process, and they must be able to control each of the elements to ensure validity
of their findings.

The technical writer should be careful about the length of his sentences. The level
of difficulty a reader experiences in reading a given text is positively correlative to
sentence length and the number of syllables per word. Since technical subject matter
often requires the use of a complex technical vocabulary and the expression of complex
ideas, the use of shorter words and simple sentences will help a lot in the readability of
difficult material.

F. Paragraph Structure and Length

Typically, a paragraph begins with the topic sentence which states the main idea
to be developed. The other sentences of the paragraph develop, support, and clarify this
central idea. But this topic sentence may appear in the middle part or the last part of the
paragraph as a summary or generalization. Sometimes, it does not appear at all, but is
implied.
In technical writing, the topic sentence is usually at the beginning of the
paragraph. When the writer states his or her thesis or main idea at the start of the
paragraph, he or she uses the rest of the paragraph for proof, discussion or other kinds of
amplification. Sometimes he or she does the opposite and gives his or her details, facts
and examples at the beginning and then concludes by stating the main idea.
Two things govern paragraph length: unity of thought and eye relief for especially
forceful effect. All sentences in a paragraph must be about the same topic, but paragraphs
should not be too long. One or more breaks on every page of a report are ideal in technical
writing.
Specific Problems of Style in Technical Writing Page 10 of 10

Activity 1

Rank each of the following groups of words by listing the most concrete first and proceeding to
the most abstract.

1. Literature, poem, epic, El Filibusterismo

2. Filipino, animal, man, vertebrate
3. Ladies dress, adornment, jewel, garnet

Activity 2

(1) Underline the complete sentences in the following paragraph;

(2) Encircle the sentence fragments, comma splices, and fused sentences;
(3) Rewrite the paragraph with the corrected errors.

When I was a boy, there was but one ambition among my comrades in our village on the west
bank of Mississippi River. To be a steamboatman. We had transient ambitions of other sorts,
however they were only transient. When a circus came and went, if left us all burning to
become clowns. The first Negro minstrel show that ever came to our section left us all
suffering to thy that kind of life now and then we had a hope that, if we lived and were good.
God would permit us to be pirates. The ambitions fading out, each in its turn. The ambition
to be a steamboatman remaining.

Adapted from Mark Twain, Life on the Mississipi