How To Get Hot Girls Into Bed:

A Guide For The Modern

Casanova
 Previous Works
The Seven Laws of Seduction: How to Attract Beautiful Women and
Enjoy a Supercharged Sex Life
Text Game Mastery: How to Get Her Off Her Smartphone And Into
Your Bed
How To Get Hot Girls Into Bed:
A Guide For The Modern
Casanova
TROY FRANCIS
Copyright © 2017 by Troy Francis.
All rights reserved.

No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or

transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying,
recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without written
permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations
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permitted by copyright law.

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 TABLE OF CONTENTS
PREVIOUS WORKS
TABLE OF CONTENTS
INTRODUCTION
PART I: BEGINNINGS
[1] Is Game Getting Harder Than Ever?
[2] Why You Have to Learn Game
[3] Why You Should Think Twice Before Getting Into a Serious
Relationship
[4] Portrait of a Modern Career Woman
[5] Lazy Girls
[6] Why You Must Avoid Holly Golightly Girls At All Costs
[7] Some Things I Learned About Women From My English “Friend
With Benefits”

[8] What No One Tells You About Approaching Girls in Your Social
Circle
[9] The Difference Between a Woman’s Behaviour and Her Intent
[10] A Note of Caution: Can The Player Lifestyle Damage Your
Ability to Have Long-Term Relationships?

PART II: MIND-SETS AND INNER GAME

[11] Yes, There is Hope, But You Must Really Want to Succeed
[12] Why It’s Important To Develop an Insane Degree of Self-Love
[13] You Will Always Face Criticism
[14] Inner or Outer Game—Which Should You Work on First?

[15] Game and the Problem of Trying to Change One’s Personality

[16] Developing Your Personal Brand is the Key to Great Game
[17] Eight Traits That Every Successful Man Has
[18] How You Get Over That One Special Girl

[19] The Personality Trait That May Be Hurting Your Chances With
Women
[20] What to Do When You’ve Been Rejected So Many Times You’re
Ready To Give Up
[21] 6 Ways You Can Motivate Yourself To Go Out and Meet Hot
Girls
[22] 6 Tips For Avoiding Burnout
[23] Act “As If” Instead of Worrying About Reaching Optimal State
[24] Fake it Til You Make It—But You Still Have To Make It
[25] How To Combat Fear of Rejection With Positive Self-Interest

[26] 3 Proven Ways to Stop Obsessive Thoughts

[27] The Biggest Hindrance to Success With Women Is Ego
[28] The Importance of Consistency For Male Success
[29] And The Downsides of Too Much Consistency
[30] Why In Game You Should Act Before Knowing What The
Outcome Will Be
[31] The Key To Success With Women? Controlling Your Emotions
 [32] Why You Should Do Everything With 100% Commitment
[33] How Advice From Start-Up Culture Could Take Your Game to
the Next Level
[34] How to Use Your Natural Horniness For a Great Daygame
Session

PART III: OUTER GAME & TECHNIQUES

[35] 5 Reasons Why The Sceptics Are Wrong And You Must Learn
Game Now
[36] The One Girl You Absolutely Must Approach Every Day
[37] Why It Is Essential To Adopt An “Always On” Strategy For
Your Game
[38] 5 Habits All Successful Players Share
[39] How To Get More Sex With Alpha Douchebag Club Game
[40] How “Flipping The Script” Will Help You Meet Hot Girls
[41] How To Make Out With A Girl Without Getting “The Cheek”
[42] 8 Tips For Getting Laid More By Developing Your Sexual
Presence

[43] How Clearly Should You Announce Your Sexual Attraction to

Women You Approach?
[44] How To Attract Beautiful Girls By Using This Fundamental
Truth About Sexual Market Value
[45] Speak to that Cute Girl Now Because You’ll Probably Never See
Her Again
[46] 3 Places Where You Can Meet Girls During The Day
[47] How To Have Conversations With Women That Get Results
[48] Indirect vs. Direct—Which Is Really Better?
[49] How To Take A Girl On An Instant Date

[50] Stop Worrying About Specific Game Tactics, And Learn To Be

“That Guy” Hot Girls Love
[51] Sorry, But Attraction Alone Is Not Enough
[52] Here’s Why You Don’t Deserve That Perfect 10
[53] 7 Tips For No-Strings Sex

[54] What To Do When She Stops Replying To Your Texts

[55] Use The “One Strike” Rule To Improve Your Dating Life
[56] A Nuclear Test Women Will Throw At You And How to Pass It
[57] 7 Steps To Follow When Your Game Hits A Dry Spot
[58] Why Rejection From A Hot Girl Isn’t Always The End
[59] 7 Steps To Turn Rejection From A Girl Into Useful Feedback
[60] 7 Reasons Why Approaching Girls In Real Life Beats Tinder
Hands Down

[61] How To Be Seen By Women As An Alpha Male

[62] You’ll Have A Hard Time Meeting Girls If Your Style Is Missing
These Two Elements
[63] How To Avoid Being Labelled “Creepy” By Beautiful Girls
[64] 6 Tips For Pulling A Same-Night Lay
[65] How To Make Her Your Girlfriend
[66] How Bad Logistics Can Ruin Your Game
[67] Why Using A Wingman May Not Be The Best Option For Your
Game
[68] The Power Of Laser Eye Contact

[69] What To Do On A Date To Maximize Your Chances Of Closing

[70] You Must Push Each Interaction As Far As It Will Go
[71] How To Avoid The Point Of No Return
[72] Even A Lame Approach Is Better Than No Approach At All

[73] Why “Nexting” Unsuitable Women Is Good For Your Sex Life
[74] What To Do If The Phone Numbers You Get From Women Go
Nowhere
[75] How to Deal With Cockblocks in the Club
[76] Why Abundance And Ruthlessness Are Needed To Get Hot
Girls in 2017
[77] 5 Ways In Which Game Will Improve Your Life
 Introduction
This book is a download of all my thoughts on the sexual
marketplace, the inner-game techniques required to navigate it, and
the specific methods that I have developed to get girls in the current
climate. Written over the last three years, it is really a distillation of all
my thinking on the art of pickup that has been born from extensive in-
field research over the last decade or more. My hope is that you read
the whole book from beginning to end and that in doing so you will
gain not only an understanding of contemporary inter-gender
dynamics, but more importantly, you will also learn the best ways to
meet, attract, and have sex with hot girls.
Anyone who has had a passing exposure to my work over the last few
years, either at Return of Kings or at my own site realtroyfrancis.com ,
will doubtless be familiar with some of the material herein, since this
book is effectively a “best of” of articles that I have published on those
sites—a sort of compilation album of pickup, if you like—but I hope it
is also much more than that.
For a start, the content here has been carefully reedited and reshaped
to make it more contemporary and also more suited to the present
form, since the conventions of writing for a high-traffic website are
markedly different from those required for creating a compelling
book. I have also made a great effort to curate the pieces I have chosen
to present here in an order that flows and communicates an
overarching narrative, or message.
It was some time ago that I realised that quite quietly and without any
great forethought I had written more than one hundred articles on
pulling girls for ROK. I couldn’t help feeling that the milestone was an
achievement of sorts.
Looking back over the work, I also realised that much of it (although
not all of it) was of a decent quality and, more importantly, contained
useful and actionable advice about meeting girls that was still highly
relevant.

The idea of creating a book came shortly afterwards. I believe that a

lot of writing can get lost in the infinite expanses of the Internet, and
while I am aware that I have been fortunate enough to have gained a
following of loyal readers over time, expecting them to spend hours
clicking back through a website to read articles from several years ago
that may or may not still be relevant is a big ask.
All of us know that the Internet contains some wheat but more chaff.
For that reason, I wanted to do the job of sorting through my own
archives, picking out the best material, and polishing it for a new
audience rather than expecting anyone else to do so.
When I looked through my writing, what was interesting was that it
divided so neatly into three areas: (1) backdrop, or general
observations on the current dating scene; (2) male-female dynamics,—
the “inner game” or rather the best psychological techniques to be
employed to help you “feel the fear and do it anyway” regarding
going out and meeting new girls; (3) and, most importantly, the
“outer game,” which are those specific tried-and-tested techniques
you need to know and internalise for actually going out there and to
meet and have sex with cute girls.

It was gratifying for me to see that proportionally my material was

about spot on; that is, that most of it was about technique, with a
smaller quantity being about the inner game and even less referring to
the bigger social picture. This is exactly how it should be. For while I
agree in principle with the positions of many of my fellow men’s
advice writers on the inequalities and trials and tribulations of
contemporary game, I don’t really see much value in dwelling too
long on it.
Yes, women are the gatekeepers to sex. Yes, young girls in their prime
have a massive advantage over men (and certainly men of the same
age). Yes, Tinder and Facebook and Instagram and all the rest mean
that women now have a surfeit on male attention, which causes all
kinds of problems, and, yes, marriage appears now to be a game that
fewer and fewer men wish to play. But how does complaining about
any of this really help anyone?
The truth is that things are as they are, and the individual man can do
almost nothing about it. Even if every man who has ever read a
manosphere site banded together and marched on Washington, guess
what? It still wouldn’t change anything.
I don’t argue that the contemporary world with its dating scene and
family life is perfect. Actually, I don’t make any judgement on it at all:
it simply is what it is. What interests me far more is what the
individual man—me—can do about playing the system to my
advantage to get what I want.
At heart, I am a pragmatist and a libertarian. I think major social
forces are practically impossible for individuals and even for fairly
large groups to affect. I also think that everyone should basically be
allowed to do what they want to do—to live how they want to live so
long as it is within the law. I also believe in the survival of the fittest,
and that if you want something in life—whether it’s lots of casual sex,
a hot girlfriend, money, or a nomadic lifestyle—then it is your
responsibility to go out and get it for yourself. Trust me. No one else is
going to do it for you.

For that reason, I am far more interested in practical, actionable

solutions than I am in naval-gazing or finger-pointing and name-
calling. Furthermore, I like to think that I have something of the
entrepreneur’s skill for identifying opportunities. Let’s be honest. If
you want to sleep with beautiful girls, travel the world, and make
money while you’re doing it, you have more opportunities to do so
today than at any other time in history. If you want to sit there and
complain about how tough things are and how hard-done by you are,
be my guest. Meanwhile, I’ll be over here developing workable
strategies for how I can make the best of the situation.
All of that being said, however, the real reason you picked up this
book is because you want to get girls, right? OK, then, let’s get down
to business. I said earlier that I hope you’ll read this cover-to-cover. It
is absolutely possible to dip in and out as you like, particularly in the
third section where all the important pulling techniques are housed.
If you choose to read sequentially, however, you will benefit greatly. I
wanted to set the scene with section one, so I’ve included some
thoughts on the sexual marketplace as it stands now, some pen
portraits of girls I’ve come into contact with, and a few warnings
about relationships along the way.
Please note that I am not in any way anti-relationships or marriage. If
that’s the way you want to go, that is absolutely your decision, and I
hope it works out well for you. Nevertheless, it would be remiss of me
to publish this book without even raising the somewhat problematic
nature of modern relationships. You need to have a sense of what
you’re up against before committing either way. Too many men rush
into a marriage or long-term commitment thinking that this will
shield them eternally from the ravages of the market when in fact this
sadly is often not the case. In a sense, then, this first section is
intended to provide some sort of answer to why a man should learn
game.
The next section on inner game explores the mental ammunition and
techniques you need to employ to be successful at game and in life
generally. A lot of the writing here concentrates on grit, persistence,
consistency, and developing huge, unstoppable self-confidence even
in the face of rejection. My intention is that the advice collected here
should get you sufficiently energized to be able to go out there and
destroy it with girls straightaway, tearing up the competition as you
go.
But inner game on its own, while essential, is not enough. To win at
this, you also need rock-solid, tried-and-tested techniques that are
practical and actionable in the field time and again. To support you
here, I’ve included section three, which is the longest in the book, and
covers everything from where to meet her, how to approach her, how
to have a conversation with her, how to make out with her, how to
deal with cockblocks in clubs, how to have sex with her on the first
night you meet her, how to use laser eye contact to your advantage,
and how to make her your girlfriend.
Overall, this is not a book aimed at complete beginners. It helps if you
have at least some familiarity with game and the ideas that I discuss.
If you don’t, then I would recommend that you also seek out my first
book The 7 Laws of Seduction, to which this one forms a great
companion piece. That being said, I believe that if you do have some
knowledge of game, this current book is a one-stop shop that contains
everything you need to know about meeting and attracting women
right now and gives you an unfair advantage over other men.
To have amassed this breadth of material over the last few years is
very gratifying on a personal level, and it was actually almost a
moving experience at times to work through the material since much
of it journals the last few years of my life, referencing various girls I’ve
met, slept with, and dated, and the various scenarios that I’ve found
myself in.
I said at the beginning of this introduction that pickup material is not
known for its literary quality, but I don’t see why that should be the
case. In the end, to misquote Martin Amis, the primary concern of a
man’s life really is how things have gone with women. As such, the
subject matter contained herein far from being frivolous nonsense is
actually of the highest significance to me and a great many others. I
hope you enjoy reading the book as much as I have enjoyed
“researching” and writing it, and that it helps you to make significant
positive strides forward in your own sex life.
I would like to thank Roosh V for allowing me to write a weekly
column for ROK and for his support and encouragement over the
years. I’d also like to thank Winston Smith for his editing skills.
Thanks, too, to my many manosphere colleagues, including Paul
Janka, Donovan Sharpe, Kyle Trouble, Peter McSweeney, Tom Torero,
Craig Cassidy, Dr. Yen, and Blackdragon.

Thank you also to my non-manosphere friends with whom I’ve

discussed many of the ideas herein, including Rob, Pete, Rish, Sam,
Big Rich, Joe, John, Paul, Richard K., Fred, Dad, Marc, et al. Thank you
to all the girls who I’ve encountered who flit anonymously in and out
of these writings (all names have been changed to protect the guilty).
And finally, a huge thanks to all my readers and Twitter followers,
including everyone who has commented, good or bad, on my articles
over the years: you have significantly helped shape the direction of
my thinking and writing, and for that I am very grateful indeed.
Troy
 Part I:
Beginnings
 [1]

Is Game Getting Harder Than

Ever?

JUST RECENTLY I MET an attractive brunette through daygame. The

approach had gone very well. She seemed flattered that I had stopped
her and happy to talk to me. There was a lot of direct eye contact and
a flirtatious vibe between us. At the end of our brief exchange, when I
suggested we meet again for a drink, she agreed enthusiastically and
readily gave me her phone number.
I messaged her shortly afterwards. She responded quickly (always a
good sign), and we had a suggestive little exchange peppered with a
prevalence of “wink face” emoticons.
I then messaged her a few nights later, and she told me she was out
with friends. I cheekily suggested that she should drop by my place
when she was done. Five minutes later and I’d received no response.
Five minutes after that and she’d blocked me.
By any measure, my strategy had been a risky one. The truth is that in
most cases it is unlikely that a girl who has randomly met a man in the
street for less than five minutes will go to his apartment alone in the
middle of the night (although such things do happen). Nevertheless,
women generally respond favourably to men who make explicit—or
even just heavily hint at—their sexual desires over those who hide
their desires. A pass is normally given along the lines of “I get it’s
your job to try, but it’s my job to resist—try again next time.”
But the timbre of our messages up to that point had undoubtedly
indicated that I was impertinent and playful and would probably
“push my luck” without meaning everything all that seriously. Still,
this girl, who had no doubt by now designated me a “creep,” felt that
her best course of action was to summarily break off all contact with
me despite having clearly been attracted before and despite our
having got on very well.
Welcome to the dating market of today: make one mistake and you’ll
be ruthlessly kicked to the curb.

The question, though, is whether or not things are really any worse
today than they were ten, fifteen, or twenty years ago. Is it harder to
meet girls now than it was when I first got into game? My feeling is
that on the one hand, yes, it is harder. On the other hand, though,
pickup—by which I mean being the chooser —has never been a walk in
the park.

I have been interested in PUA for quite some time now, beginning my
formal preoccupation with it in 2004. Before that I still hit on plenty of
girls, albeit in a less informed way. So let’s say I have fifteen years’
worth of game experience, give or take. On the surface, it would
certainly seem that things have changed to a large extent because of
the tech explosion we have experienced in the intervening years.
As has been much discussed, the combination of the smartphone with
social media apps, such as Instagram and Snap, where women can
and do receive constant validation from thirsty betas liking their
pictures, plus the emergence of the dating apps—e.g., Tinder, Happn,
Bumble—has meant that girls now receive more positive male
attention that is unprecedented in the whole of human history.
It is hard to see how this factor can’t have had an effect on the dating
market. Throw in the counterculture movement of the 1960s with its
emphasis on free love plus the emergence of radical feminism and you
have quite a heady cocktail.
I’ve observed before that sexual market value and one’s perception of
one’s own worth is rather like the financial market in that it is affected
by confidence above all else. If you are confident in your financial
standing, you are more likely to spend money than if you’re not. In
the same way, if a woman is confident that an army of hot guys is out
there clamouring for her attention, there is less incentive for her to
take your individual pitch seriously, regardless of how attractive you
might be.

However, let’s not get carried away. A few new means of

communication over the past decade would be hard-pressed to
overturn evolutionary biology developed over the last 200,000 years.
Men are still men, and women are still women, and the latter will
continue to be attracted to men who display power , whether that is
through wealth, good genetics (read: good looks), social worth,
calibration, or dominance, and men will continue to be attracted to
women who display signs of fertility through youth, beauty, and a
healthy body.
One must also remember that when I or any other man makes an
assessment of the current state of game he is doing so largely through
the prism of his own experience, and that experience is necessarily
coloured by whatever changes have taken place in his own life. For a
forty-year-old man to say that things are harder than when he was
twenty-seven is inherently problematic. Perhaps he was simply more
physically attractive when he was younger. Perhaps his sex drive was
stronger, encouraging him to make more and riskier approaches.
Perhaps other factors in his life, such as business, have become more
important to him, affecting negatively not only the amount of time he
apportions to game but also the vigour with which he approaches it.
There is no even playing field. Game, as an interpersonal skill, will
always be played on shifting sands.
Furthermore, I should also dispel the notion that there was ever a
halcyon age when all you had to do was to approach a girl for her to
instantly drop her knickers, fuck you, and then remain faithful to you
for life. Sure, it was perhaps slightly easier to get a girl out on a date
fifteen years ago, given there were fewer distractions overall. But
women were still hypergamous, they still played games, they still
loved the bad boys, they still flaked, and they still cheated. If
technology has escalated these things, it is my belief that overall
change has been less than you might imagine.
Either way, though, the market is what it is, and there is little you can
do to change that, in the short term at least. What, then, is the optimal
strategy to pursue?
In reality, your only option is to double down and maximize your
chances by creating more opportunities for yourself by approaching
more girls, whether that be through daygame, night game, app game
or—most effectively—through a combination of all three, a strategy I
call holistic game .

Men will undoubtedly complain and moan about having to expend

even more energy than before to have intimacy with flaky, narcissistic
women, but bear two things in mind. First, approaching one woman a
day and swiping a few times on Tinder really takes up very little of
your time. Second, if a man wants sex, he should be prepared to go
out and work for it without complaint no matter how unfair the
circumstances might feel.
 [2]

Why You Have to Learn Game

AS SOMEONE WHO WRITES REGULARLY ABOUT PICKUP, I

notice two objections to game that come up frequently from readers
and friends. Let’s consider these in detail.
1. “Game pumps girls’ egos and inflates the price of pussy”
On reading an article that advises approaching women frequently to
get good or to maximize your chances of success with game, some
men will argue that doing so is counterproductive. Women’s egos are
sky-high with constant Facebook and Instagram likes, Tinder matches,
and so on. This is why they frequently complain and feel they are
entitled. Approaching ad nauseam simply increases their entitlement,
worsening their attitude, and consequently making it harder for other
guys to get laid.

If we stopped feeding girls’ egos through game, the argument goes,

they would be less in love with themselves, and some balance would
be restored in a sexual marketplace that is currently spiralling out of
control.
It is slightly odd how in a community where many men would suckle
on the withered teat of Ayn Rand herself so enthused are they about
“every man for himself” principles of self-determination in business
that when it comes to women, a much more egalitarian, socialist ideal
is insisted upon. “Men shouldn’t disadvantage one another,” we are
told. “Don’t stroke girls’ egos unnecessarily and make it more difficult
for everyone else.”
I am certainly not one for sabotaging other men’s efforts—quite the
contrary—but to me this is baloney.
For one thing, hot girls are validated constantly from their teenage
years until at least their late twenties anyway. Imagine for a second
being a sexy twenty-three-year-old walking down a subway platform,
all those eyes flicking in your direction, heads turning, smiles. Yes,
social media may have exacerbated the phenomenon, but I remember
the days before Facebook, and believe me, cute girls still thought they
were the greatest thing on earth.
Most men are unable to help giving out some sign of their attraction,
even if only on a subliminal level, and girls are highly attuned to
picking up on the smallest physical and social cues. Trust me—letting
her know that you’re attracted to her by approaching is a drop in the
ocean.
Even if it did make a difference, how many men are out in the field
actively taking such action? It’s a shockingly small proportion. I think
Krauser estimates that only 5 percent of men who come into contact
with game material do anything about it, and even fewer practice
consistently.
In London where I live, you can observe the hardcore daygamers out
in force on Oxford Street doing “Yad stops” (Google it) and whatever
else, but in other districts women hardly ever get approached. I have
long told people that the tube is a goldmine for pickup, and it is—I’ve
gotten so many lays from public transport that I’d find it hard to
recount them all—but as few have the courage to chat to girls, there
it’s almost an open goal. Far from pumping women’s egos to
preposterous levels, serious practitioners of game are in an extreme
minority.
More important, though, is your mental attitude. If you want anything
in life, you have to fight for it. I believe in sexual entrepreneurialism. I
have no interest in curtailing opportunities for other men, but at the
same time if I want something, I’m going to go for it. That is a mind-
set that you should develop too.

Of course, game forums provide a community where men can support

one another, but every man must eventually carve out his own
destiny, which means stepping up to the plate and pursuing your
desires, be they business orientated, artistic, or sexual. People who
complain about this are the same people who sit around complaining
about men with rich parents having a better start in life rather than
working hard and making something of themselves.
If you go out and approach girls regularly, you are not “inflating” the
price of sexual access. You are simply creating opportunities for
yourself in the market.
2. “Learning game is a waste of time. You’re better off developing
yourself as a man so that the chicks will come to you.”
Other men argue that rather than wasting God knows how many
hours chasing pussy you’re better off doing something more
constructive, such as studying or starting a business.
Actually, this is a viewpoint that I understand. As anyone who has
read David Deida’s The Way of the Superior Man will know, the most
important thing a man can do is have a mission in his life that is
unconnected with women.
If you genuinely decide that your sole focus (for now) is building that
business, writing that symphony, or climbing Kilimanjaro, by all
means eschew women. I completely agree that such achievements far
outweigh the mere scoring of pussy.
But—and it’s a big but—if you are secretly hoping that by making
something of yourself women will flock to you, I’m afraid you have
got it all wrong. Unless you become genuinely A-list famous, you will
still have to graft like the rest of us, for the hottest girls at least. I have
friends who are extremely rich, good looking, and accomplished who,
lacking in game, have as much difficulty attracting women as anyone
else does.

What getting girls really comes down to is creating attraction and then
escalating. This is the same whether you are a barman or a billionaire.
If you have spent ten years staring at a laptop screen building a
business, you will be little better equipped than the man who lives in
his mom’s basement and has severe social issues.
Some men will then advocate dodging the market altogether through
a simple strategy: pay for play. Rich, successful guys have always
paid for sex the argument goes. Why waste time on the vicissitudes of
pussy chasing when you can simply pay for the services of a 10 for
$500?
I have no issue with men wishing to use prostitutes either to
supplement their normal sexual diet or as their sole outlet if they
wish. Men can make their own decisions and do what they want. My
only observation would be that sex with a hooker, no matter how
attractive, is in most cases qualitatively inferior to sex with a willing,
aroused partner. A regular ROK commentator Hernan Cortez had this
to say on the subject:
“If paying for sex is not good enough, you simply confirm my
previous points. This is not merely about a biological urge to have sex.
No you see, in your mindset, its not enough to get sex. This is about
wanting female acceptance. And hookers don’t ‘Accept’ you. They just
fuck you for money [but] that won’t do.”
If there is a craving for “female acceptance” in wanting to fuck girls
who actually like you , I would argue that it is small. Most alphas I have
known have got off on the fact that girls are attracted to them, even to
the point of boasting about it. And yet they would scoff at the notion
that their wider sense of self was in any way validated by a woman.
There is an ego boost inherent in a hot chick wanting you. I would say
that this is natural for most men, alphas and betas alike, and it’s
something you don’t get with prostitutes (in most cases). Most
importantly, though, sex is almost always better with a woman who
genuinely wants to be there. While a man may save time on gaming
by getting in hired help, the quality of the sex he achieves through this
strategy is likely to be inferior.
You should just work on yourself and your game at the same time. By
all means, you should improve yourself as a man, but also recognize
that pickup doesn’t need to involve seven-hour nightclub stints every
evening. An hour after work or on a break and a couple of approaches
a day is all you need to improve and start to see results.
Roosh has recommended one approach a day before. Getting into a
routine, and sticking to it consistently will lead to an upswing in your
performance and results in no time.
Today, game is unavoidable. If you want to get laid with good-
looking girls with any regularity, you need at least a working
knowledge of it and to have practiced it consistently over time.
Stepping up to the plate can be hard, and there are no shortcuts.
Luckily, the Internet is now awash with good quality advice and
support. A decade or so ago this was not the case, so those learning
today are very fortunate.
While some men make interesting and articulate points about the
inflation of pussy stock through excessive gaming and the benefits of
avoiding the pickup melee entirely in favour of more cerebral
pursuits, my suspicion is that they do so to justify their own
reluctance to man up and face female rejection head on. If you want a
regular and varied sex life, you can’t afford to do the same.
 [3]

Why You Should Think Twice

Before Getting Into a Serious
Relationship

FOR CENTURIES, WOMEN have been thought the more mysterious

sex. Poets, philosophers, psychologists, and PUAs have all been
driven to distraction trying to work out exactly what it is that makes
them tick. The reason such eminent men put in all that effort in the
first place is because they wanted to get laid. Here is the bind that
unites all men—the frustrating and annoying work of unravelling
women’s inscrutability set against our very real and urgent need to
sleep with the most attractive of them.
Fortunately, the Internet has facilitated something that few people
could ever have foreseen: men being able to share their experiences
with women and compare notes on a grand scale. This revolution in
gender relations has been quietly—and not so quietly, in some cases—
taking place on blogs and websites and in self-published books for
more than a decade. The cloak of relative anonymity offered by the
’net has enabled it. Whereas shame previously prevented men from
talking openly about their experiences even with close friends, now
hundreds of thousands across the world can discuss female behaviour
freely.
Striking and somewhat depressing is how similar and predictable a lot
of men’s stories are. Before discovering the manosphere, I tended
towards self-flagellation, beating myself up thinking that women
treated me badly because of some fundamental flaw in my
personality. How surprising then to read hundreds of tales that
mirrored my own experiences exactly. Girls flaked on other guys,
punished them for beta behaviour with infidelity, and walked out on
them at the drop of a hat when a better opportunity presented itself
too.
It wasn’t just me.

Over a period of months, I slowly hardened my working knowledge

of female psychology and put strategies into place to help me better
deal with it.
The conversation is ongoing, and new insights are being shared all the
time. Here, though, are five things about women that I have
discovered through my own experiences as well as by talking to other
men. They should be borne in mind, especially if you are considering
entering a serious relationship.
1.
All of us have at one stage or another bought into the “Madonna-
Whore” notion that there are “bad girls” who will put out
indiscriminately and “good girls” who will hold out for the right guy.
It’s a meme inculcated into us by the culture. It’s also bollocks. Girls
will have sex quickly and easily with guys who give them tingles.
Understand this: Madonnas and Whores are the same girls.
Some of you may be aware of an article written by Tyler Durden of
Real Social Dynamics many years ago called “The Secret Society.” If
not, you should read it. It contains the kind of wisdom that makes a
lot of sense on paper but only becomes real when you go out and
game and have sex with a lot of girls.
The basic gist of it is that if you are a guy who “gets it” and sub-
communicates that he “gets it,” girls will have sex with you quickly,
easily, and without putting up all of the obstacles that lesser men
(betas) have to contend with. Not only is it true but it also goes for all
girls—not just the ones with tattoos and bleached hair and those
transparent stripper heels but also the nice girl in the library with the
glasses and the cardigan.
If you present yourself as “r-selected” rather than “k-selected,” that is,
as a bad boy player rather than as a provider simp, even the
supposedly good girls will drop their knickers for you quickly.

I myself know this to be a fact. Last year I hooked up with the most
innocent-looking girl you can imagine. I took her out and was careful
to dial up my r-selected traits. Not only did she sleep with me on the
first night, but she also continued to do so in secret for months
afterwards, even after she began seeing another guy.
This phenomenon does rather explode any fantasy you might have of
finding that “one special girl” to fall in love with and protect and
honour through thick and thin, although it must be stated that
women’s sexuality does not make them bad people, but you do need
to open your eyes to the reality of how things actually work.
2.
So you met a cute girl, gamed her good, and now you’re having
regular sex. Great! You’re on easy street—no longer having to battle it
out going on the flesh rampage in busy clubs and bars, but instead
you’re enjoying a regular serving of quality pussy, right?
Wrong.
However casual, free, and easy things may seem at the start, make no
mistake about it. Your girl has an agenda. If you pass her tests and she
likes you enough to stay with you, she will already be making moves
to lock you down. This will often involve such measures as keeping
increasing tabs on you, trying to limit the time you spend with your
friends, and demanding more and more attention from you.
The endgame of all of this?
Babies.

I’m sorry, but it’s true. While men are happy to coast along enjoying
the sex and the good times, women are at the mercy of a pitiless
biological clock. She’s not there to “go with the flow” or “just have fun
and see where it goes.” She has a very real game plan (consciously or
not) that could end up costing you the best years of your life and a lot
of money.

She may not even mention having a family or indicate that she is even
conscious of what she is doing herself, but the only real purpose of
long-term male-female sexual relationships in a woman’s eyes is
reproduction—not companionship, not “discovering each other,” not
growing old together—but children.
If this isn’t what you’re looking for, you need to make a decision
about how and when to leave.
3.
Ironically, though, the more you accede to the demands of her
biological imperative, the more she will come to despise you.
She fucked you in the first place because you demonstrated alpha
qualities that made her attracted to you. The more you alter yourself
to fit in with what she wants by becoming domesticated, the more
beta you will appear and the less you will resemble that hot,
untameable guy she originally thought you were.
At this point, she is only a heartbeat away from having sex with the
window cleaner.
This phenomenon is sometimes called the Betaization process. Fear it
because it is real, and it is inescapable unless you are thoroughly
prepared and vigilant.
4.
The problem is that as men we are beset with a strange kind of logical
dissonance that kicks in when we meet a cute girl. If a man is seeing a
23-year-old and she is an 8 in the looks department, there is a good
chance that he will want to try to cash in his chips, departing from the
table with his winnings by marrying her.
In many cases, this is a mistake.
We all know too well that that hot 23-year-old isn’t going to be a hot
50-year-old. How many times have we seen the effects of the so-called
“wall” (that point somewhere in a woman’s thirties where the fresh
bloom of her youthful beauty is extinguished, and she becomes less
pleasing to the loins of men).
But we all still want to lock down the 23-year-old.
It doesn’t make any sense.
Women’s youthful beauty is effectively bait that they use to reel men
in. This is fine except that a man will often be forced to give of his
resources for many, many years after his woman’s looks have
declined beyond all recognition.
Perhaps you believe your girl to be so special that you don’t care
about what she looks like in ten or twenty years. If that’s genuinely
true, then fine, although I have my doubts, as many men will make
this kind of pronouncement from a position of scarcity, but at least be
aware of this phenomenon of depreciation and think very carefully
before getting married too hastily.
5.
You have to realise that she doesn’t really care about you, but she
does have an agenda (see point 2). As a man, you are there to help her
fulfil it (even though she may end up despising you for doing so).
Don’t make the mistake of assuming that she cares about you
personally no matter what she says. The true romantics are men.
Women are essentially pragmatists akin to a cash-hungry film
producer who cares little about the cast list as long as the movie gets
made on time.

I don’t mean to state that women have no feelings or are horrible

people—quite the contrary. Women can be incredibly nurturing and
care very deeply about the men in their lives, but they still have a
master plan, and if you don’t fit in with that you will likely find
yourself brushed aside in time.
I once had a girlfriend who told me that she would die for me. She
was becoming too clingy, though, so in the end we split up. After I
told her I couldn’t see her anymore, she sent me messages every day
for a month telling me how upset she was, how special I was, how
much she wanted me back. In the face of this barrage, I softened.
Perhaps she really did love me as she said. Tentatively, I suggested a
meeting. Maybe we could talk. After all, here was a girl displaying a
characteristic I valued greatly—devotion. Perhaps I had been too
hasty.
Her response?
“I can’t see you. I’m with someone else now.”
I had been replaced. Whatever “special” qualities I possessed had
quickly and easily been located in another.

For the record, I abhor cynicism, but I also believe that forewarned is
forearmed, and that a realistic grasp of female psychology would help
many men lead happier lives. By all means go out and enjoy the game,
but always be vigilant, and above all make sure that your needs are
accounted for as well as hers.
 [4]

Portrait of a Modern Career

Woman

YESTERDAY, ARIANA, A COLLEAGUE OF MINE, left our company

for a new job in Australia. Ariana is twenty-nine: this is not
insignificant.
Ariana is attractive or rather she retains the last vestiges of her
youthful beauty. She was never a stunner, never a first-rate head-
turner, but with her slender body, her long, thick black hair, and a
mischievous face that suggested a profound appetite for naughtiness,
she was sexy.
I use the past tense for a reason. In the two years we have worked
together, I have observed a definite depreciation in Ariana’s looks. In
part, this is due to her love of binge drinking. Alcohol remains
endemic in many industries in London, not least ours (advertising),
where entertaining clients is a central part of the job. Ariana attacked
that duty with gusto, and the empty calories she loaded into her
system over many drunken nights meant that she ended up carrying
considerably more weight than when she started—not enough to
make her obese but enough to render her formerly shapely legs
matronly and to give her once-angular features a doughy appearance.
These unfortunate adjustments amended my rating of her from
“would definitely bang” to “would probably bang, provided it were
easy and there were no other options available.”
But Ariana was much loved at work for her madcap ways and the
amusing stories that her frequent inebriation provided. For her last
day in the office, another (female) colleague prepared a PowerPoint
presentation displaying some of her “finest” moments. The slides
were largely composed of photographs taken from Ariana’s Facebook
page. Many of them featured close-ups of her increasingly bloated,
drunken face as she careened from one crazy night out to the next.
One slide was dedicated to her love of drinking whiskey. Another to
her penchant for red wine. A third focused on the short skirts she
liked to wear.

More slides revealed her “yolo” exploits in the various five-star hotels
in New York and Berlin the company had put her up in for business
events. Her talent for attracting beta male “orbiters” was referenced;
and the fact that she had had sex with a male colleague was revealed
on a slide celebrating her “horndog” nature. My assembled colleagues
hooted and guffawed at these images, while Ariana looked on, held in
the embrace of another girl, close to tears at her impending departure.
Tellingly, not one of the slides referred to her professional capabilities.
To be fair, her skills were complimented by two of her managers in
their summing-up. Apparently, Ariana had proved herself to be a
linchpin of her team, and she had been personally responsible for
managing multimillion pound accounts. Personally, I am sceptical. I
worked on projects with her a few times: she was rubbish.

I love to party as much as the next person when it’s appropriate, but it
seems incredible that we have reached a state of affairs where a female
executive in a responsible position in an internationally known
company with offices in major cities in the UK and the U.S. can be
celebrated for spending most of her time drunk and wearing revealing
clothes.
Is this really what the early suffragettes had in mind when they
fought for women’s rights? And other than looking good in a
miniskirt, what has Ariana really accomplished since completing her
humanities degree? OK, apparently she enjoys running, but has she
started a business or worked on some other personal project? No. Has
she written a book? No. Has she read a book? I doubt it.
One of the problems with reading and writing for men’s websites is
that time and again one observes real-life examples of what we
caution against. Ariana is currently experiencing what Rollo Tomassi
of the Rational Male calls her “party years” and is about to enter the
“epiphany and transitory phase.”

Her story is typical.

Formerly in a long-term relationship with a stable man slightly older
than she was, she had recently dumped him because she felt
“trapped” and wanted to “experience a little more of life” before
“settling down.” “I still love him,” she confided to a colleague. “He is
everything I want in a man, but we met at the wrong time . I wish we
had met five years from now when I’m ready to move on to the next
stage in my life.”
Having had few sexual partners before this boyfriend, as soon as they
split up, Ariana slept with at least five new guys, including one she
met in a fast-food joint after yet another drunken night out.
There is a lesson here for those men who believe that “locking down”
a (relatively) inexperienced girl in her early twenties is a workable
strategy for obtaining a long-term relationship. With Western culture
encouraging all of us to put off until tomorrow what could be done
today and telling women to delay building stable relationships and
families in favour of sexual pleasure and career success until they are
at least in their thirties, your chances of holding onto your special
snowflake for life are slim.
So Ariana is having fun, but she is twenty-nine. I suspect that this
underpinned her decision to emigrate. For many young Brits looking
to travel and party while they work, Australia is a tempting
destination. After all, there is sunshine there, beaches, a vibrant party
scene, and an apparently unquenchable thirst for heavy drinking. But
Ariana is not so young anymore, and she knows it. Thirty will come
knocking soon, and there is a fast-growing crowd of cuter, younger
party girls behind her. Reality is starting to bite, and like a dog, it bites
hard.
My guess is that the thought of accepting her new relegated position
as a has-been in London where many know her is simply too
frightening, too painful. Better to move to another country thousands
of miles away to make new friends, find new lovers. Anything to keep
the party going for just a little longer, away from judgmental eyes that
reflect back a cold truth that Ariana is no longer the hot property she
once was.
I believe that social mores are arrived at through a combination of
diverse factors and that we shouldn’t be too quick to ascribe them to
just one. Nevertheless, it seems pretty clear that lives like Ariana’s are
shaped largely by modern feminism and a general relaxing of moral
standards in the culture.
How much better would it have been if Ariana had stuck it out with
her boyfriend, who by all accounts was a decent, supportive man
(translation: a “boring nice guy”). This, surely, was what our
grandparents used to do. I’m not claiming the old ways were always
better. I’m sure that many women were forced to remain in
unpleasant and abusive relationships that they would have been
better off out of, but as there is now no societal requirement for people
to remain in relationships and marriages it means that girls like
Ariana are free and indeed encouraged to follow their hypergamous
instincts by having sex with strangers and pursuing the backpacker
dream while entering their thirties.

Let us not forget: women are at their most fertile between the ages of
nineteen and twenty-six. Right now Ariana’s terrified biology is
screaming out. It is inevitable that at some point its voice will grow
too loud even for her to ignore. Then I have no doubt she will cash out
with whatever guy she is dating and have a baby. What then for her
“beloved” career? After a long absence for maternity leave, she might
return to work on a part-time basis if at all.
As men we are lucky. Because our sexual market value is based less
on our physical appearance and more on other factors, such as status
and dominance, and as we remain fertile for longer (for those men
who want children), we are able to pursue our own inclinations for
longer if not indefinitely. Unfortunately, it’s simply not the same for
women. They have between the ages of nineteen to around thirty
before they become less appealing to men and less able to conceive.
This may not be fair, but it’s true.
The tragedy for women like Ariana is that they’ve been lied to by both
a popular culture that tells them they can “have it all” for as long as
they like and by the modern world of work (the only structured
organization with rules that is now recognised, what with the decline
of religion and the discrediting of politicians). And judging by
Ariana’s farewell presentation, the feminized contemporary
workplace seems only too happy to endorse their bad behaviour.
 [5]

Lazy Girls

IT IS VALUABLE TO SET ASIDE TIME to consider what it takes to

“live the life”—the life, that is, of a man committed to meeting and
seducing a succession of new women. There’s much to consider. What
proportion of one’s time should be spent on the hunt? How
sustainable is “the life” long term? At what point should one “‘cash
in” and enter into a relationship if at all? The problem that I face, and I
suspect that this may apply to other men, too, is that due to time
constraints I frequently have one foot in and one foot out of game,
which in its many forms (daygame, night game, Tinder game, or a
combination of each) remains essential as a set of tools for meeting
and attracting women.
On the one hand, nothing appeals to me more than the idea of a
succession of hookups with attractive young ladies. I am a libertarian
at heart, and I find convention stifling. I’m not saying there’s anything
wrong with long-term relationships, but I find them difficult. I’ve had
several of them in my life, each with cool girls with whom I shared
great times, but temperamentally such a setup is not for me,
particularly if we’re talking about living together. My focus is on my
work and on writing.
The truth is that as much as relationships require “work” so do casual
hookups. In my pickup manual The 7 Laws of Seduction , I recommend
that men approach a hundred women a month, which is something I
still do myself from time to time: it gets the motor running, sharpens
my social skills, gives me incredible momentum and usually provides
some good prospects for sex, but let’s be honest. Interacting with a
hundred strangers takes emotional energy and a lot of time, and that’s
before you get to the dating and seduction part.
Meeting up with a girl, if only for two drinks (recommended), making
her excited for sex with you, getting her into a cab and back to your
apartment, handling token resistance and other games before finally
fucking her: all of this takes time, persistence, tenacity, and energy. On
top of a job, side projects, exercise, and socialising, such a process
takes its toll.
A lot of information is available about how to meet girls and get them
into bed. Less discussed is what to do when you’ve gotten past that
point and you’re attempting to juggle the women you meet with your
work and the rest of your life, which should certainly be your primary
focus.
This came to a head for me on the weekend when B stayed over at my
flat. I’ve been seeing B since the beginning of the year, and she has
become my primary girl almost by default. She scores well against all
my personal requirements: B is twenty-three, very slim, long legs,
long hair, great facial bone structure. Polish.
B stayed at my place on Saturday night. She woke up feeling lazy on
Sunday morning and called her waitressing job and told them she had
a temperature. I want to stay here with you. Fine, baby, but I need to
work. That’s OK. I won’t disturb you.
I sat down at the computer. I am editing a novel, a process that
requires concentration and, ideally, solitude. B lay in bed and ate
toast. She painted her toenails. She called a friend and had an
animated ten-minute conversation in Polish. B watched an episode of
Gossip Girl. Finally, B had a crying jag and told me she couldn’t trust
me.
The correct “alpha” response to this is something like you should
have kicked her out of the house. Money over such women, bro.
Never let a girl come before your work. You know what I mean.

True.
But life is rarely that simple. Two issues arise. First, most of the
women I meet actually do very little with their lives. Second, unless
you’re a complete psychopath, in every scenario a calculation must be
made about how much you tolerate and how much you push back on
without being really annoying.

Most people are aimless. As Will Self once observed, “A vast majority
of [their] time is spent undertaking work that has little human or
spiritual value.” They are consumers, not producers. They watch
sports. They watch box sets. They discuss these box sets on social
media. They update Instagram. They obsess over celebrities. They
drink. They take drugs. They have a good time, but their lives have
little substance. Put simply, they have nothing to do.
Perhaps my hunting grounds are to blame. I meet girls in shopping
malls and in discos and in manmade pleasure resorts, such as Ibiza or
Las Vegas—twenty-first century locales of superficiality. They are
filled with people—women and men—who have nothing to do. The
problem is that I do have things to do. I am merely visiting, dipping in,
following the demands of my biological urge to have sex. The girls I
meet, who I become intimate with (they spend the night with me; we
wake together in my bedroom, a room where I also like to work),
plucked from a landscape of banality are often banal themselves.
There is a conflict when they expect me to be too.
Meet women in art galleries. Meet women in book shops. Done that. The
problem persists. A woman who can discuss Almodovar films rather
than Pitbull’s music is still a consumer. She doesn’t necessarily do
anything either.
If you are someone who does something, such as getting up every day
and working on a project that might change your life, be it writing,
blogging, fitness, or business, you are rare because most other people
don’t have such a project. Worse, aimless people tend to try to slow
you down, to bring you down to their level. Perhaps this is because
they are aware, and ashamed, of their own inactivity.
For me, this makes even short-term relationships with most women
problematic. Novels don’t write themselves. As appealing as a lazy
weekend may be for many, for me it is an anathema: I have to get to
work.
 [6]

Why You Must Avoid Holly

Golightly Girls At All Costs

MEN FIRST GETTING INTO GAME can be forgiven for chasing

anything in a skirt. Not only does sexual frustration make this a
necessity, but it’s also a pretty good strategy. After all, how frequently
do game writers recommend that you get out there and hit on as
many girls as possible? The more prospects you have on the go, the
more likely it is that one of them will come off, resulting in a lay.
As you get more used to interacting with women, however, you will
find that there are different identifiable “types” of girls, and some of
these you should avoid like the plague. A particularly heinous breed
is one I’m calling the “Holly Golightly girl” after Truman Capote’s
Breakfast at Tiffany’s (and the Audrey Hepburn movie of the same
name).
Holly Golightly girls are frequently hot, but they are also vacuous,
annoying, and entitled. More importantly, they are just teases and
rarely put out. As such, you should make it your business to steer
clear of them.
Those who have read Capote’s novella (of which even literary alpha
Norman Mailer was a big fan) or seen the movie will recall Holly
Golightly, the iconic central character, a small-town girl who moves to
New York City. Without a job and living in a small apartment, she
nevertheless manages to live the high life through the patronage of
rich men.
In the movie version, she develops a relationship of sorts with Paul
(George Peppard), a struggling writer, before dumping him
unceremoniously for Jose, a Brazilian artistocrat. To satisfy the
requirements of what was essentially a prototype Hollywood
romcom, Holly finally comes back to Paul after he’s convinced her,
beta-style, that she’s afraid of commitment and should settle down
with a “good man.”
The ending of the novella is darker. Holly continues to drift,
squandering her pre-wall years before winding up in Argentina. An
interview Capote gave with Playboy in 1968 illuminates her character:
Playboy: Would you elaborate on your comment that Holly was the
prototype of today’s liberated female and representative of a whole
breed of girls who live off men but are not prostitutes; they’re our
version of the geisha girl.
Capote: Holly Golightly was not precisely a call girl. She had no job
but accompanied expense-account men to the best restaurants and
nightclubs, with the understanding that her escort was obligated to
give her some sort of gift, perhaps jewellery or a check . . . if she felt
like it, she might take her escort home for the night. So these girls are
the authentic American geishas, and they’re much more prevalent
now than in 1943 or 1944, which was Holly’s era.
Fast-forward to 2015 and such girls are even more common than in
the 1940s. Of course, we frequently hear stories about women heading
to L.A. in the hope of becoming movie stars and singers, but actually I
think the phenomenon extends to a great many international cities, in
particular New York and London, where I live.
Girls with a surfeit of physical attractiveness but little in the way of
intelligence, professional skills, or talent are drawn to these
metropolitan hubs with the rather hazy plan of “making it.”
Invariably, this either results in marriage to some rich sucker or crack-
whore oblivion. In the meantime, it involves callously screwing over a
great many inexperienced guys, which is why you must be on your
guard.

The first thing to note is that Holy Golightly girls are frequently very
hot, which makes perfect sense. After all, they have to have some form
of sexual capital on which to trade in the first place; otherwise, their
big-city project would be doomed before they started. They tend to be
quite bohemian (hipster, rock chick, or high-end glamorous are the
most common styles) and often slightly dreamy. When you come into
contact with one, you will always and rightly feel that her attention is
not entirely focused on you, even when you are in deep conversation.
Holly Golightly girls are by definition not indigenous but have moved
from a smaller place to the city. There will be a lot of talk on their
Facebook walls about their exciting “journey,” “adventure,” and the
next step in their “story.” Holly Golightly girls are convinced they are
living their own movie, and that it is as fascinating to everyone else as
it is to them. Unfortunately, the advent of social media means that
they can share each instalment with their (inevitable) band of thirsty
followers.
There is likely to be some form of financial backing in place at the time
that they move either from parents or from male “friends” (Holly
Golightly girls rarely if ever have boyfriends; after all, that would tie
them down to a single man in a city full of them). Cash flow means
that they have the luxury of being extremely exacting about the kind
of work they take on.
Whereas many of the immigrants that arrive in London have little
choice but to take the first job on offer (if they’re lucky as a barista at
Pret a Manger or one of the other big coffee chains, and if they’re less
lucky cleaning toilets or worse), Holly Golightly girls can take their
time. They almost always have an unrealistic aspiration to work in an
artistic, glamorous industry that pays highly a few at the top but is a
closed shop for almost everyone else—e.g., acting, modelling, fashion
design, or photography.
On daddy’s dollar, they can afford to relax, attending auditions that
lead nowhere or undertaking internships that don’t yield anything
permanent. They may similarly have a fledgling but ultimately
worthless singing career driven by social media likes, or a beauty
blog, or other similar vanity project.
While their lackadaisical job search is going on, Holly Golightly girls
are to be found most nights at the fanciest clubs, bars, restaurants,
fashion shows, and gallery openings that the city has to offer.
Frequently, they will be in the company of some (very good looking)
male friend or other.
Everyone in this world is a “friend” whether actual sex is happening
or not is difficult to discern for the outsider, although if it benefits
Holly you can safely bet on it.
This glittering social life belies a tawdrier domestic situation. If you
make it back to Holly’s place, you will find that her bedroom is a
bombsite, with designer clothes and makeup strewn all over the floor,
dirty plates in the sink, and a dustbin creaking beneath the weight of
many, many empty wine bottles. There will most likely be used spliffs
in the ashtray and reality TV on loop on her MacBook air.
The best advice I have is to go out of your way to avoid dating Holly
Golightly girls. Even more than regular girls, they have an agenda,
and the chances are you don’t fit in with it.
Holly Golightly girls are uniformly scatty and flaky. They are prone to
turning up for dates incredibly late or “forgetting” them entirely.
Worse, they can throw in curveballs. When you meet, she might insist
that you come along to a party of a friend of hers, which is being held
by some buff, rich dude who she then proceeds to monopolize all
night while ignoring you.
To the uninitiated, the Holly Golightly girl may appear to be all over
the place: in fact, she is playing a difficult game that requires
adaptability and eagle-eyed cunning. Rather like real-time trading on
the financial markets, the Holly Golightly girl is constantly eying up
her prospects, angling for whomever is going to help her gain a better
position in the city’s social firmament.

Basically, this is supercharged hypergamy. If she misses your date,

she’s not forgetful. She’s simply found a prospect that in her
estimation will get her to her goal faster than you will. Obviously, this
is why Holly rejects Paul for Jose in the movie.
All women are hypergamous to some extent, but it is the Holly
Golightly girl’s raison d’etre . It is telling—and slightly depressing—
that Audrey Hepburn remains such an icon for young women today,
who have everything from tote bags to mugs to T-shirts bearing her
Tiffanys era image.
For your own sake, if you come across Holly, you are well-advised to
either make it a short-term engagement or steer clear altogether and
watch the wreckage pile up from a safe distance instead.
 [7]

Some Things I Learned About

Women From My English “Friend
With Benefits”

DESPITE MY MIXED FEELINGS about Tinder, not long ago I used it

to meet a new girl in London that I’ll call Amelia. Between sex
sessions, we’ve had long conversations that have reinforced a number
of the “home truths” about male-female relations that I have long
suspected to be true.
One of the most interesting and at times unnerving aspects of
studying and writing about male-female relationships is just how
frequently real life (away from the websites and blogs and forums) so
accurately reflects what is theorised about in text. Sometimes I have a
“double take” moment when a girl says something that sounds so
much like it could have come from an article on female behaviour I’ve
read or even written that it’s almost funny.

It is something of a cliché in London that most of the players here end

up sleeping with foreign girls: e.g., Polish, Bulgarian, Asian, Middle
Eastern. Men usually claim that this is because these girls are hotter.
While there is truth in this, a more cynical reason touted is that these
girls are easier to pull (for English guys, at least).
Amelia is in her twenties and works in a professional job in the city.
She is from an upper-middle class family and went to an independent
girl’s school. As such, she is high value and her expectations are
correspondingly high too. What does this mean in practice? Constant
testing and a lot of token resistance in the bedroom.
If you date an English girl of her type, you’ll likely receive persistent
prodding about your masculinity, about your social standing, perhaps
even about your sexuality. All of this will be delivered in rapid, high-
pitched millennial speak. Anyone who’s seen the UK TV show Made
in Chelsea will know exactly what I mean.
This is not because English girls are bad people. It’s simply that their
sense of entitlement has been raised exponentially by the culture that
surrounds them. It’s the player’s job to become smooth at deflecting
the tests they offer up rather than getting caught up in a spiral of
negativity. If the game is rigged, you must simply learn how to play it
better.
As you would expect, Amelia gets messaged by a lot of men on Tinder
and had been on a few dates recently, but according to her the ones
she’d met had been “really nice” and “looking for girlfriends.” She
had quickly disqualified these men. Why? Because, as she explained
to me, they simply didn’t press the sexual agenda hard enough. I did,
and I had sex with her straightaway.

The irony is that the men she rejected were almost certainly better
“relationship material” than I am, but they didn’t get the opportunity
to prove it because they positioned themselves as potential providers
rather than rakish lovers. Such an approach is the death of romance,
even if you are seeking a relationship.
It’s a truism much stated on men’s websites, but if you want to get a
girlfriend you really do have to be a lover first before you commence
with being all lovey-dovey. Only when she really likes you is it even
slightly safe to let her to see you as a potential boyfriend, and any
move in this direction must come from her; that is, she should be
trying to lock you down, not the other way round.
I also wonder how many of the men who said they were looking for a
girlfriend really just wanted sex? I’m guessing it was a pretty high
proportion. If you are the type of man who hides your sexual desire
for a girl behind feigned purity of intent, stop immediately. Amelia’s
disdainful rejection of those Tinder suitors who adopted this strategy
should tell you all you need to know.
By the way, you should also be careful of the degree to which you
invest when you are sending a girl SMS texts or WhatsApp messages.
Amelia showed me a message thread from one poor guy and laughed
at the length of the messages he had sent compared with her
responses. Apparently, this guy was very good looking, but his
messaging stunk of neediness, and his failure to take the initiative and
actually ask her out disqualified him. This demonstrates that physical
appearance alone isn’t enough to get the girl.

Amelia once described an ex-boyfriend crying, her demeanour

nothing short of disgusted. “I don’t think men should ever cry,” she
said, with visceral disgust etched deep on her face.
Guys, we all love our mothers, but it is with our mothers that female
sympathy and nurturing ends. Slim, attractive young women’s
vaginas are dried out by overly emotional men. If you want to get
laid, put on that poker face and don’t care about anything else.
It’s the only way.
Apparently, Amelia dumped her last fuck buddy when she sent him a
nude picture by way of a booty call, and he invited her over to his
place for “cuddles.” When she arrived, wetter than the London night,
he literally cuddled her. No sex was delivered at all.
After this gross display of unmanliness, Amelia dumped him over
WhatsApp (making an excuse that things “weren’t going anywhere”).
Rather than accept this dismissal and move on, three days later he
texted her again and asked if they could be friends. God knows what
he was thinking, but again, Amelia’s look of disgust at this weak
behaviour spoke volumes.
Whatever you do, don’t ask girls to be friends after you’ve fucked
them or after you’ve made it obvious that you’d like to fuck. She
knows what the deal is, and she knows that you are willingly selling
yourself short. Have some self-respect and walk away.

Like all girls her age, Amelia bangs on constantly about Fifty Shades of
Grey . She has called me as her Christian Grey and mentioned that I’m
hard to work out—a “challenge.”
Clearly, girls like to be dominated, hence that novel’s popularity. A
little light dominance in the bedroom works wonders, e.g., spanking,
rough sex, but more than that you must ensure that you always
remain a little out of reach and that you are consequently hard to
work out on an emotional and intellectual level too.
How to do this? It’s simple: maintain abundance. You do this by
always approaching other girls and keeping your pipeline brimming
with new prospects.
 [8]

What No One Tells You About

Approaching Girls in Your Social
Circle

ALMOST WITHOUT FAIL when a friend comes to me for advice

about a girl he is attracted to and would like to be with it turns out
that she is a member of his social circle. Perhaps he’s met her at work,
through a close circle of mutual friends, or maybe they share a house
or an apartment. Almost invariably the friend has solicited my
opinion as, even though they might get on well, he is failing to gain
any traction with her on a romantic or sexual level.
There is a lesson here that all men must learn: if you are looking to
meet a woman either for fun or to become your girlfriend, it is far
better that you cold approach a stranger rather than hit on someone
you already know.
At first glance, this seems counterintuitive. Why shouldn’t you go for
who are already in your social proximity? Surely this should be easier
rather than harder? You probably already have an “in.” You may well
have shared interests.
Common sense would dictate that to approach such a girl with a view
to dating her would be easier. Most men find the prospect of hitting
on a new girl strange and terrifying, while asking out Alice who
shares a house with his friend Jim is a lot more appealing and less
intimidating, but there are several difficulties that make the
alternative—cold approaching girls from outside your circle—
significantly less doomed to abject failure.

When you hit on a girl you know, you forget that everyone else is
doing the same thing. It’s the stuff of beta fantasies, isn’t it? That Janie
in your class at high school will suddenly notice you. Or that girl in
the office will magically fall in love with you over a pile of invoice
queries.
Every social or professional situation you find yourself in is a
microcosm of society as a whole—the office, your coding class, the
house you share with five other people. Each one of these has a social
ecosystem all of its own, and if there’s one thing we can say with some
certainty about girls it’s that they are attracted to power. As such, in
any social group, the man with the most power (be that expressed as
political power, social power, good looks, big muscles, or wealth) is
the one who is most likely to get laid.
Take the UK as an example. In this country, most girls between the
ages of eighteen and thirty would probably have sex with and marry
Prince Harry. Why? Well, he’s the Queen’s grandson and the most
prominent eligible member of the royal family since William got
hitched to Kate. What girl wouldn’t want to marry a prince?

So how come any other guy in the UK gets laid other than Prince
Harry? It’s obvious: most girls don’t have access to him. But just
suppose that you lived in Clarence House with him and a hot twenty-
one year-old girl. Do you think you’d get a look in? Of course you
wouldn’t. Why? Because that girl would naturally be attracted to the
most powerful man in her immediate vicinity, and even with
supremely tight game changing that would be a hard task.
The most powerful man in the environment where your favoured girl
hangs out probably isn’t Prince Harry, but unless it’s you, you may
still face a hard task in seducing her.
Or maybe it is you. Perhaps you’re the boss at work, but it won’t
always be you. Maybe there’s a stronger, bigger guy at your gym or a
better dancer at your salsa class. Unless a man explores another
method of meeting many women (namely cold approach pickup), he
will find that more often than not he is reliant on luck—the luck of
being the most alpha guy in her midst at that particular time.
In fact, when you fancy a girl you know and you decide to get friendly
with her and “see what happens,” you are simply relying on blind
luck that she is attracted to you, too, but blind luck is not a strategy.

But surely the skills I’ve accrued through pickup are equally valuable
in social circle game, you might ask. Yes, in theory, but the difficulty is
that it’s very hard to create the kind of man-to-woman polarity
required to really spark at the office or the church choir. To really
attract a girl, you must be prepared to take risks, burn your boats, and
possibly never see her again. If it’s the receptionist at your office that
you want and you’re worried about possible consequences you are
unlikely to do well. At best, you’ll probably petition her in such a
softened way as to be immediately friend-zoned.
Think about jerks who attract beautiful women. What do they do?
They are charming, cocky, and go in for the kill quickly, not caring
whether someone else observes or thinks badly of them. Are you
likely to behave like this with a girl who is friends with your best
friend’s girlfriend? Probably not.
More likely you will be measured and careful, fearful of overstepping
the mark or being impolite. Unfortunately, that very hesitation will
likely render you unappealing to her. Far better to be the Modern
Casanova about town who hit on her brazenly whether your eventual
goal was making her a girlfriend or a short-term lover.
Approaching strange girls is scary, and rejection is a bitter pill to
swallow for many men. In most cases, however, unless you are getting
definite indications of interest from the girls already around you, you
are far better off going for girls with whom you have no prior
connection. Doing so will allow you to take greater risks, be cockier
and funnier, and to walk away without consequences if you are
rejected. Far better that than to worry about enduring months of
awkwardness after your mistimed attempt with your housemate or
colleague.
Whatever the doubters say, whether you are looking for a girlfriend or
merely a passing bit of fun, it behoves every man to learn the
rudiments of game and to hunt outside his social circle. For it is here,
in the wider world, where his greatest romantic and sexual pleasures
are likely to be found.
 [9]

The Difference Between a

Woman’s Behaviour and Her Intent

IN ANY DISCUSSION OF POWER STRUCTURES, the most

important thing to consider is not the intent of the person or body
involved but rather the impact that their actions have on you or your
peer group.
“Manosphere” writers have presented a number of arguments critical
of feminism and resultant female behaviour. That they have been able
to uncover the evidence to do so is largely due to the unique position
in which we find ourselves vis-à-vis technology. The Internet has made
it possible for the first time ever for men to compare notes and record
their common experiences with the opposite sex in relative
anonymity.

This meta-discussion is ongoing, with its still tentative conclusions

spread across many, many fine (and not so fine) blog posts, analyses,
and books, but I think it fair to say that a central tenet of so-called “red
pill” thinking is what many commentators refer to as women’s
“alpha-fux, beta bux” mating strategy.
This term refers to women’s tendency to select men who demonstrate
attractive “alpha” characteristics for quick, short-term sex (and
impregnation) and “beta” types for long-term provisioning and child-
rearing (often, unknowingly, of the alpha’s child). This, coupled with
Rollo Tomassi’s excellent analysis of women’s first stellar and then
declining sexual market value as they pass through their party years
(18–23) to “the wall” and beyond, and the personas that they adopt
within each phase (e.g., party girl, marriage-and-kids enthusiast,
adulteress, crazy cat woman) is at the heart of men’s shared
observations.
Overall, it’s depressing, and I suspect that a great many men (myself
included) would rather not believe it, preferring to cling to the notion
that NAWALT (not all women are like that). Unfortunately, the reason
that manosphere sites have gained traction in the last few years is that
they enable men to see how closely their own experiences align with
those of others, leading them to conclude that, regrettably, most
women are indeed “like that”—or at least have the propensity to be
so.
I recently read a critique of the manosphere on a feminist blog that
took issue with this model of female behaviour. The writer’s argument
went something like this:
What world are these people living in? Everyone makes mistakes when they
are young and still learning. I don’t know any woman who sets out to fuck
sexy alphas when she’s in her twenties, then snag a boring guy for marriage,
have kids with him, and milk him for alimony and child support after she’s
cuckolded him. We all muddle through life, making mistakes as we learn and
grow. The manosphere is a paranoid conspiracy theory.

As it happens, I don’t entirely disagree with this view. I am a brother

to three sisters, and I am friendly with many women at work and
through my social circle. I also don’t personally know any women
who have actively set out to ruin men’s lives by acting as described
above (although I am aware that such callous gold diggers do indeed
exist). The women that I know are largely lovely people who, if
questioned, would express their admiration for such traits as
kindness, generosity, and respect as well as the ability to provide for a
family.
It doesn’t mean, though, that they all behave well.
Some men believe that feminism is a power structure constructed with
the specific intention of subjugating men and ruining their lives by
extracting resources from them through unfair divorce and childcare
laws. I don’t accept this opinion. I think feminism has evolved due to
any number of complex political and social reasons over the last
hundred years or so, and to describe the current situation as a
conspiracy against men is wrongheaded.
In the end, however, does it really matter?
This is where the difference between intent and impact applies.
Whatever the meta-intent of those behind feminism may or may not
have been, the impact of it on me remains the same: if I display beta
characteristics and get married, there’s a good chance that I’ll get
screwed over down the line. Alternatively, if I act like a jerk in a Vegas
nightclub, there’s a good chance I’ll get laid.
I can think of two women I know right now, both in their late twenties
or early thirties. One has just married her long-term boyfriend; the
other will marry hers in a few weeks. Both are, on the surface,
intelligent, pleasant enough, caring women. Both have also cheated on
their partners several times on drunken nights out with colleagues.
They are simply following the manospheric template outlined above
precisely by marrying a provider-type just as their SMV passes its
peak and the wall beckons. Both have had no compunction in
cuckolding their fiancées with fun, alpha-type guys, and I would say
it is not unlikely that this will continue even after their respective
weddings.
The funny thing is, though, that if you asked either of these women
for their thoughts on red pill thinking, I have no doubt that they
would vehemently refute it. Two reasons: (1) women are generally
unable (or unwilling) to admit the similarity between the manosphere
model and their own bad behaviour, and (2), I don’t believe that either
woman went into her relationship intending to cheat on her partner.
Their intentions, I’m sure, were good, but their vaginal tingling
proved to be too much, and they did it anyway. The emotional impact
on their partners, though, (were they to find out the truth) would be
the same as if these women had planned it.

Some time ago I was secretly seeing a girl who had a boyfriend. I’d
really lost it over this girl. She was beautiful, exotic, intelligent, and I
wanted her to leave the boyfriend for me, but she wouldn’t. We’d
meet for sex in the afternoon, and then she’d go back to him. It sounds
like an ideal arrangement now, but back then it wasn’t enough for me.
Things came to a head, and I told her how upset I was by the
situation, but there was reason after reason why she couldn’t leave
him. “I don’t mean to hurt you,” she said at one point. “I’m a good
person. It’s just the way things are at the moment.” It was at that point
that I realized the importance of impact over intent. I wanted to
believe her. I wanted to believe that she didn’t intend to hurt me, but
whether she did or not it didn’t matter because I was hurt: the impact
of her behaviour was damaging to me. As soon this became clear, I
walked and never spoke to her again.
Some might blame this whole thing on feminism, since you could say
that this girl was “empowered” to have her cake and eat it too. Now I
am no great believer in conspiracy theories about feminism or
anything else. I’m not saying all of them are false (although some
certainly seem more plausible than others), but in the main I sense
that human beings are just too disorganized, selfish, and solipsistic to
effectively (and secretly!) operate the sorts of complex structures that
some theorists imagine. This is just a personal view, and many will
disagree with me, but regardless, as individuals there is very little we
can do about meta-structures anyway.
When something negative happens in your life, just ask yourself
honestly what you can influence and what you can’t. If your girl
cheats on you, the chances are that she is not acting as an agent of a
shadowy feminist conspiracy to destabilize men. Instead, she is just
acting in accord with her own vaginal tingles. She may not intend to
hurt you through her behaviour, but the impact of it will likely be the
same as if she did, so treat her accordingly. Delete her number, and
cut her out of your life.
Men can rail against feminism and smartphones and hookup culture
all day long on Internet message boards, but the genie isn’t going back
in the bottle any time soon. The modern world is what it is, and you
must put your own interests first. So don’t waste time thinking about
the intentions of those whose actions affect you, e.g., women,
employers, governments; they are largely irrelevant. Instead, think
about how their actions impact you and what you can do about it.
If you’re unhappy with your girlfriend, dump her, learn game, and
find another one. If you don’t like the way your company has been
restructured, leave and start your own business. If you don’t like the
state of the nation, emigrate to a foreign country where there is a
better way of life. The fantastic thing about many men’s websites is
that they are filled with positive, actionable advice to help you do all
these things.
You are so much better off concentrating on what you can control
rather than what you can't.
 [10]

A Note of Caution: Can The Player

Lifestyle Damage Your Ability to
Have Long-Term Relationships?

WOMEN WITH PLENTY OF NOTCHES get a bad rap for not being
able to hold down relationships or become decent mothers, but a male
“player” with extensive sexual experience is just as likely to become
bored and cheat.
Rick is married to Chloe. Both work for an organization that used to
employ me. Recently, I met a former colleague who also works there,
and he updated me on everything that was going on, including the
state of Rick and Chloe’s relationship. What he told me was
intriguing, if not a little depressing.

First some context. Rick is probably the most successful “natural” I’ve
ever met for picking up women. With a lay count of nearly five
hundred, he has all the characteristics, both physical and attitudinal,
required to be great with girls. Tall, decent looking, well dressed, and
with a great line in verbal banter, he was always going to be a
contender. He also displays clear “dark triadic” characteristics
(narcissism, Machiavellianism, and psychopathy). It is these
characteristics that have really made him successful with the opposite
sex.
Entirely casting aside the old adage about not shitting where you eat,
Rick has been involved with several very high-profile relationships in
the office. One was with an attractive girl of about twenty-five called
Zoe, whom he dated for two years or so. During that time, he even
bought her a breast enlargement, presumably to increase the value of
his investment. They moved in together, but he showed signs of
becoming bored after eighteen months and moved out again,
although the pair continued to sleep together. Then he started seeing
Chloe concurrently, which inevitably led to a significant public
breakup with Zoe that was broadcast on social media and beyond.

For a good while, they seemed to enjoy the perfect relationship. Chloe,
who was blond and still very attractive at thirty-six years old, had
apparently brought about a great change in his life. The narrative was
that Rick had finally “grown up”—that Chloe had “tamed him” and
that now he was finally ready to put aside his philandering ways in
order to commit to a “good woman.”
At the end of last year, they married. It was a very expensive affair at
an exclusive country house. Black-and-white photographs show the
well-groomed pair stepping joyfully into this new phase of their lives.
The look of victory on Chloe’s face was plain to see.
The joy lasted for approximately six months until recently when it
came to light that Rick had been sleeping with Emily, a young intern
from the office. Understandably, all went downhill, and Chloe threw
Rick out of their marital home. She was prepared to forgive him,
however, and for a while it was thought they could work it out—
couples counselling was inevitably mooted—right up until Chloe
discovered Rick was still seeing Emily on the quiet.
Chloe has now resigned from her job, too humiliated to return. Rick is
unrepentant, still enjoying his affair with the much younger Emily
and seemingly not concerned about attempting to save his marriage.
The fact that they spent more than £60,000 on the big day itself makes
the whole thing even more wasteful and ridiculous.
The difficulty for both men and women is that once you’ve tasted
variety and realize that there really is an infinite abundance of
potential sexual partners available it becomes very hard to stay with
just one for the rest of your life.

Monogamy and whether or not it is a natural state has been debated

frequently over the years. Whether or not long-term monogamy and
happiness is ever truly possible is a moot point, but with smartphones
and Tinder and more lax societal conventions around sex, it certainly
seems much more difficult than it has been before. As a man, this is
something worth bearing in mind. What is it that you really want? If
one day you would like to settle down with one woman and have
children, you should realise that experiencing variety may not entirely
benefit you. That said, you need to experience some variety to avoid
falling into the trap of getting hitched with the first woman who
comes along. So it’s a bind.
My writing largely concerns itself with meeting and attracting
women. This subject fascinates me, as does the interplay between the
sexes and the way it has slowly changed over time, but there is a
darker side to the life of the serial player. You can do what you want
with your life, but it’s worth recognizing this fact.
Rick’s story has a lesson for those men interested in sleeping around.
There will be men reading this who are jealous of his ability to draw
women to him, even against their own interests. Think about the risk
of social ostracism that Emily was prepared to risk to have sex with
him.
Unfortunately, for me, this story simply confirms that many women
are attracted to damaged men. Rick’s high quotient of the dark triad of
characteristics—narcissism, Machiavellianism, and psychopathy—
makes him irresistible to many women, but these same characteristics
mark him as unsuitable for monogamy or family life. Perhaps he’s
happy with that, but if you’re not, you should think carefully about
what your life goals are and move towards them strategically.
 Part II:
Mind-sets and Inner Game
 [11]

Yes, There is Hope, But You Must

Really Want to Succeed

ON A POPULAR MEN’S WEBSITE, a commentator named Freshman

recently bemoaned about his lack of success with women. His
argument was that external factors beyond the control of the player,
such as looks and height, are fundamental in determining success to a
degree not normally acknowledged by game sites and the
manosphere.
“I am a college student and it’s so ruthless out here for the average, let
alone below-average looking guy EVEN WITH GAME. I say this as a
guy who’s been in the game for nearly five years (I first read David
DeAngelo’s and Pook’s book when I was 14 years old). As this last
semester passed, I’m becoming more convinced that things that we
cannot control (like looks and height) are so detrimental towards
consistent and high-levels of success with girls.”
Freshman then describes how he attended a party and saw girls he
had previously been rejected by getting affectionate with guys better
looking and taller than himself.
“One can’t help but wonder if it really is all worth it . . . these guys
didn’t rack up the approaches or put in the time like I did. They don’t
have Krauser, Roosh or you to guide them. I did but where did that
leave me? Chicks don’t give a shit about what you know but rather,
how you look and how they will look with you . . . Red pill
knowledge won’t make a guy hotter, it will simply make him smarter.
Pretty girls do pick and choose who they want to fuck and it often
isn’t the most charming or socially suave guy out there. It’s usually
the tallest, most masculine guy in her social circle.”
Of course, the “looks trump game” meme is so persistent that you
may wonder why I bring it up again here. Well, partly because
something in Freshman’s story touched me, and partly because—let’s
be honest—he’s right. Or rather, he’s not wrong. There’s a difference.
Even Roosh concedes that game has become harder for the average
man in the last few years, largely due to the ubiquity of social media,
such apps as Tinder and Instagram, and the technology that delivers
these right into a girl’s hand while she’s in the club. These days the
chances of getting blown out for a fluffed approach or a simple
mistake are much higher than before simply because women have so
many more options or the perception of such at least.
As for looks, we all know that Freshman has a point, don’t we? As
much as game evangelists are at pains to deny it, the reality is that all
else being equal a man’s facial attractiveness, height, and muscularity
are all particularly important in eliciting female attraction and
commensurate sexual reward.
Freshman posts a link to a thread on the Roosh V forum where a man
conducted an experiment on Tinder by placing a fake profile using
photographs of a male model. He was soon inundated to a shocking
degree with matches and flirtatious approaches from attractive
women.

I have frequently visited a particularly louche club event in London—

essentially a sex party—where attendees, both male and female, are
encouraged to wear very little and where pretty much anything goes.
I can tell you from my observations there that, perhaps depressingly,
the cutest girls are almost always to be found with the best-looking,
most buff men by the end of the night.
But this is hardly news, is it? The question for men like Freshman and
all men really is—is this it? Is the sexual marketplace really sewn up,
owned by buff, cocky, alpha jerks with no room left for the “average”
man?
I can tell you categorically that it’s not. There is hope, but if you’re an
“average” guy looking for “consistent and high-levels of success with
girls” as Freshman is rather than simply a dumpy girlfriend, you have
to really, really want it badly . You have to want it to an almost
unhealthy degree. You have to be so obsessed with scoring random
pussy that when, in moments of clarity, you think about it rationally,
you realise that how much you want it, and the sacrifices you are
willing to make in pursuit of it are worryingly disproportionate.

Let me tell you a few things about my background. I am of average

height and naturally have a skinny build (although I work out and
have put on some muscle mass). I am decent looking but nothing
approaching model quality. I am by nature an introvert. When I was
at school, I was shy and too eager to please.
The cutest girls consistently overlooked me for hotter, sexier guys.
This massacred my self-confidence for the longest time, initiating a
downward spiral of pedestalisation, friendzoning, and despair. I
actually believed that I was unworthy of intimacy even with the least
attractive women.
Astonishingly for everyone who knew me, when I finally got my first
girlfriend aged twenty, she was a stunner. This was more by luck than
by design. I was horrible at game back then (the girl dumped me after
a few months), but I had sought outside help for the depression I had
been suffering from.
Relieved of this, I cared less about what other people thought of me
and began wearing flamboyant clothes and acting in an aloof, even
arrogant manner—not to attract women—but simply because for the
first time in my life I felt emboldened to express myself socially in a
free and uncompromising manner. The girl was a welcome side effect
of this newfound confidence.
After that first girl had broken up with me and I had tasted sex and
companionship with a physically attractive partner who was the envy
of my friends, the genie was out of the bottle. Something had shifted
inside. I could now no longer endure the thought of going back to my
old, celibate, onanistic self.
Failure with women was simply not an option. I don’t use that phrase
metaphorically as a hackneyed self-help aphorism but literally. My
self-image was now so bound up in meeting and attracting girls of the
same or a higher wknights than my ex that I would do absolutely
anything to ensure that it continued.

In practice, this meant going to nightclubs all night seven nights a

week until I was bleary eyed and exhausted, propositioning every girl
in the place. It meant suffering humiliating rejections again and again.
It meant following up on every single phone number I ever acquired.
It meant going on date after fruitless, boring date. It meant staying up
with a girl until 6:00 a.m. on a workday trying to get the bang.
It sometimes meant travelling to foreign countries under some pretext
to close a girl that I’d gamed on holiday. It meant the ignominy of
experimenting with online dating. It meant going everywhere from
the pounding palaces of house music in Ibiza to the grimiest rock
clubs in Manchester, searching for that elusive diamond in the rough.
It meant reading every piece of game advice I could get my hands on
—books, ebooks, blogs, and increasingly as technology improved
watching pickup videos. It meant working out every day, running for
cardio, and becoming obsessed with fashion, spending thousands of
pounds on clothes. It meant being single-minded and persistent
almost to the point of insanity.

It meant addiction.
If all this sounds like a lot of work just for pussy, you’re right, but it
also allowed me to acquire a higher notch-count of girls in the 7+
range of anyone outside the community I’ve ever met with the
exception of one natural, who fits the tall-handsome-alpha bill. I don’t
say this to boast but merely to point out that human ingenuity is such
that if you want something badly enough and you go all out for it you
will get it.
Freshman says elsewhere in the thread that he has made a great many
approaches, and I have no reason to doubt it. I do wonder, though, in
cases like his the degree of passion that has been injected into the
project. As has been said many times before, if you had a gun pointed
at your head, you could achieve almost anything. I was lucky—or
unlucky—enough to face that gun.
Whether it was all worth it is another matter. My life is now a lot more
balanced. As you mature, your desire for strange poon while perhaps
not diminishing is certainly ameliorated by the recognition that our
time on this planet is short, and that there are other things that are
worth much more pursuing.

We now live in an age where there are more excellent, freely available
resources for men looking to get good with girls than ever before. It’s
not hard to find. All the technology you require is available, and any
fool can go out and approach one thousand women. All you need is
the will and the grit to do so.
I’m not sure, though, that this can be faked. Krauser has pointed out
that all highly successful players are to some degree emotionally
damaged. I would agree. This is perhaps the darker side of game that
people would rather not acknowledge.
If you are not driven to the degree I’ve described but would
nevertheless like to enjoy the player lifestyle, my advice would be to
fake it to make it. Rather like a method actor, imagine how you would
behave, what lengths you would go to for pussy if you were obsessive
about it in the manner I’ve described, and then take those actions.
Perform with as much intensity, passion, and gusto as you can
muster, and over time you will start to see results. You won’t
necessarily beat the good-looking, square-jawed alphas, but you’ll
definitely get more than your share. After a few successes, these
strategies will begin to hardwire themselves into your brain and
become part of your personality, and you will find yourself in an
upward cycle of pleasure and reward.
Or, if you don’t think it’s worth the effort, by all means continue
watching from the sidelines. Just don’t complain that the game is
rigged when less attractive men than you are getting laid right now.
 [12]

Why It’s Important To Develop an

Insane Degree of Self-Love

TOO MANY MEN WALK AROUND THINKING that the women

they desire are superior to them. In the unlikely event that one of
them accepts him for sex or a relationship, he assumes she must be
doing him a favour, and that there must be something “special” about
their relationship. Beware, though, for this is how pedestalization,
obsession, and heartbreak breed.
We are told from a young age that women are attracted to “cool”
guys. The problem for those of us who are not naturals is figuring out
what “cool” actually means and how to embody it. The most powerful
piece of advice about meeting women I have ever been given, one that
changed my whole paradigm of thinking and levels of success, was
that I should assume an insane degree of self-love. The truth is that
there were probably already things I liked about myself, but social
conditioning had taught me to be humble, not to brag, to keep my
head below the parapet, and be a nice guy.
None of these behaviours helped me with women.
What did help was when I started communicating an irrational,
almost absurd sense of self-confidence to the world through every
element of my behaviour, from the way I walked to the way I spoke to
the way I dressed. This isn’t about being big-headed. It’s more about
recognising what’s unique and amazing about you and being proud
of it.
Once I had achieved congruence in this and carried myself as though I
were a big deal, suddenly and mysteriously my world changed, as
women previously out of my reach started to make themselves
available to me, and men began to defer to me. Very quickly a truth
that I had never been aware of before was revealed to me: the
individual, not society decides what “cool” is for him: each man gives
himself permission to be cool.

I remember looking at the popular kids at school and wondering,

when you broke it down, what was so great about them. Many
weren’t particularly good looking or intelligent. They didn’t have
good taste in clothes or music, yet they still carried themselves as
though they were something special. I often wondered why this was
so and who had “given them permission” to do so. I imagined it
impossible that someone like me, someone so inherently uncool, could
ever behave with such entitlement. For a while, I actually believed
that somehow I wasn’t allowed to dress fashionably because those cool
clothes were for other people who were already cool.
Utter nonsense.

In fact, “cool” is a self-designation: no one else gives you the permission

to be cool, and no one is magically endowed with the quality of
coolness from birth. It is a mantle that you assume for yourself, and
you can do so today.
Remember that there is no such thing as consensus. Even if every
single person in your immediate circle says you’re a loser or acts as
though they think so:
•You don’t know that’s what they’re thinking for real.
•There is no empirically correct measure.
•There’s a big world out there, and others will think differently.
Understand this now: It is you who makes the decision to dress cool,
act cool, and be cool. You give yourself permission, and you should
never seek it from anyone else. Become the embodiment of that ideal
image of yourself you hold inside.
As you start to make changes to yourself, you may experience social
pressure from other people. If you buy new clothes, for example,
people used to the “old you” may complain or criticize. Ignore them.
Their thoughts are irrelevant. They don’t really care what you wear or
what you are doing with your life. They are merely trying to push you
down to your former position in the hierarchy so that they can feel
better about themselves. Remember that a wise man once said “what
other people think of you is none of their business.”
Your ultimate goal, though, is not mere coolness. You should aim
higher than that for a deluded degree of self-belief. Your aim should
be to walk around as though you are the most exceptional guy on the
planet. If for you that consensus doesn’t exist, you must see that no
one can either give you permission to act this way or refute that you
have a right to—you are free to do whatever you want. How do you
achieve this almost delusional state of self-regard?
•Give yourself permission to do so.
•Seek role models relevant to you and mirror them.
•Fake it to make it.
•Don’t allow any contrary evidence to enter your reality.
The first step is to make a decision, and you must make it absolutely.
The second step is really important and helped me a great deal. Pick
out celebrities and other people that you admire for their charisma,
cool image, and behaviour, and copy them. Think about how they
dress, their mannerisms, and how they talk, walk, and act, and find
ways to imitate them without appearing incongruent. Read interviews
with them or better still meet them if you can to suss out how they
think, their attitudes to life, and how they handle common situations
with a view to adopting their mind-sets for yourself.
Celebrities I have channelled include Robbie Williams (when he was
younger) with his alpha body language, complete conviction in his
own attractiveness, and cheeky humour, and Russell Brand, whose
idiosyncratic dress sense, florid verbal style, and laser eye contact I
admire very much. Both display dominant male characteristics and
have very tangible self-belief. I would also add Jay Z to that list, as his
grace, warmth, and humour are a welcome sheen on his ultimate
alpha male persona. On the other side of the spectrum, you might
consider someone like Harry Styles, who is boyish, scruffy, and
relatively unconventional in looks but who has genuine charisma and
great style.
The people who resonate most with you and have the most
congruence with your personal style are the ones to model.
Also try to ensure that all the influences you are receiving are positive,
e.g., music, movies, books. Don’t watch too much television. Listen to
unsentimental music that will get you fired up and hungry, such as
rap and techno. Don’t wallow in sad love songs, soap operas, reality
shows, and other frivolities.
Realise, too, that to be truly attractive to a wide range of women, you
have to be prepared to stand beyond what “polite society” regards as
normal social conduct. Entitlement is attractive. People will believe a
narrative that is presented to them strongly and consistently. The
important thing is that your self-esteem should be excessive, and this
needn’t necessarily be based on anything tangible other than the
decision you’ve made for it to be so. That is all you require.
People are essentially gullible, tending to accept what they are told. If
you continually relate to them in a way that suggests you are cool, in
the end, they will believe it (assuming you have your fundamentals
down). This is why advertising works. Consistency is the key. Soon
enough, people will accept the new persona you project. Those that
don’t you should simply ignore or phase out of your reality.
And the best way to appear consistently cool?
Have a primary mission or passion that has nothing to do with
women. Men should be doers, not passive consumers, after all.
Choose something that you love doing, whether it is music, sports,
photography, writing, or art but an activity where you produce,
where you put something out into the world. Make that your number
one focus and you will find yourself impassioned and full of vital
energy, which will communicate itself to those around you. Having a
passion will make you less vulnerable to the negative emotions of
others and cooler in their eyes.

Finally, be sure that you have a group of other men you can talk to—
male friends are valuable to you. Centre yourself by catching up with
them once a week and talking through your problems and successes.
Male influence will keep you balanced and on your alpha path. Make
sure they are men who understand and are encouraging of your
mission, who are actively working to improve themselves too. Stick
with the winners.
 [13]

You Will Always Face Criticism

One of the drawbacks of life is that wherever you go and whatever

you do someone will always criticize you. It would appear that this is
an immutable law of human existence. It applies from when we are
very young and are subject to unkind words or bullying in the school
playground to when we are adults and people are ready to take issue
with our appearance, our personal choices, or our work. It is the
measure of a man how well he is able to deal with these negative
voices and to continue on his course regardless.
I recently attended a UK fiction writer’s convention. Many industry
professionals were there, e.g., literary agents, publishing editors. The
delegates were aspiring authors from all over the UK. As you might
imagine, this self-selecting group included many who could politely
be described as eccentric—a few cute girls, yes, but also a legion of
post-wall human bomb-sites trying to peddle memoirs about their
boring lives; and blank-eyed, clinically insane men who bellowed
inanities at no one in particular through their spittle-flecked beards.
But I digress.
A dispiriting aspect of any kind of writing is that it is a highly
subjective business. Every week I get comments on my online articles
that are highly complementary and comments that are extremely
critical. Everybody has an opinion.
Most of the attendees had written novels and were looking for
feedback with a view to getting a publishing deal, but nothing is more
depressing than sitting down with someone to discuss your 80,000-
word manuscript and they say that you should have made someone
else the main character, and the whole thing needs to be rewritten. “I
think you should have done it like this,” and “You’ve still got a lot of
work to do” are phrases guaranteed to strike grey gloom into the
breast of anyone who’s spent two years or more working on a book.
Publishers and the public alike are just human beings. Many of the
delegates I spoke with at the conference were looking for a magic
bullet, for a secret, for someone to tell them how to make their book
perfect and sellable, but no such advice exists because once you’ve
acquired minimum entry-level talent, there is no definitive consensus
among readers about what is good or bad. I have received wildly
different feedback on the same manuscript from different readers, and
there are published books that obviously went through an editing
process that I think are terrible, while others think they are great.
Who’s right? Maybe we both are.
What we should do, I found myself saying to people that weekend, is
to consider any constructive criticism carefully, make our books as
good as we possibly can to our own standards , and then send them out
to one hundred agents and publishers each.
Given that individual taste is unpredictable, by approaching a large
number of people we would give ourselves the best possible chance of
finding someone with whom our work resonated. After all, it’s been
said that you only need one “yes” to make a career and a handful of
“yeses” to make a whole life.
I hope the wider relevance of this is becoming clear. There will always
be someone who will criticise you. I have been insulted by girls,
sneered at, laughed at, given the cold shoulder, but I have also slept
with a good many who were hotter than those who disparaged me. I
have been criticized by employers, only to be praised to the heavens
by others. I have been disliked and disparaged by some while being
considered good company and charismatic by others.
Criticism, when it is constructive, can be very valuable, but all too
often it is a weapon used by those who are jealous of us or insecure in
themselves to limit our potential by making us doubt ourselves. This
is compounded by the fact that human beings seem programmed to
desire most those options least open to us. If a girl rejects a man, he
wants her more. If a company won’t employ him, he beats himself up
for losing out on his dream job.
This is no good for anyone.
It’s a truism, but you can’t please everyone all the time. As you go
through life, you will receive negative feedback. You will encounter
people who don’t like you or your work. This is normal.
Rather than trying to court those people, why not make yourself and
what you have to offer as good as you possibly can and then spread
your net wider and seek out those who are more receptive? This is the
audience that will support you and make your life fulfilling and
prosperous. Never be afraid that it is not out there: remember that the
world is a very big place indeed.
 [14]

Inner or Outer Game—Which

Should You Work on First?

WHEN I BECAME INTERESTED IN “GAME” as a discipline distinct

from simply going out and hitting on women, something called
“routines” were very much in vogue. Popularized by Neil Strauss’s
The Game, routines were the gambits men would use to initiate and
advance conversations with women in the hope of attracting them.
They included jokes, stories, psychological tests, and even magic
tricks. Men would log in to Internet forums keen to learn and share
the latest tips.
Having “tight game” back then really amounted to being able to
“stack routines”—that is, to structure an interaction, building set-piece
upon set-piece, until hopefully the girl was interested enough to allow
you to escalate further.
But discussion on men’s forums began to concentrate more on self-
improvement as people came to realize that no matter how slick their
lines, if they didn’t have some tangible value to back them up, they
would soon be stymied. This interest in personal development was a
precursor to the manosphere as we know it today, with men learning
from each other on topics as diverse as finance, weight training,
nutrition, fashion, and lifestyle design.
You would imagine that these information streams in tandem, i.e.,
pickup and self-improvement, would provide a very useful resource,
and you’d be right, but a problem arises when men privilege one over
the other, either spending their whole time learning pickup to the
detriment of their wider life or the opposite.

One of the most common things you will hear newbies or those who
have not had a great deal of success with women yet say is “I’m not
really going out at the moment. I’m working on my inner game. ” So
persistent is this excuse that it has become something of a meme.
So which is best? Should you work on your inner game or your
seduction skills? One will make you a more rounded, successful
individual, while the other, if mastered, could score you a lot of pussy.
I would say it depends on your ambitions. You must be honest with
yourself. If you are not particularly bothered about women or are
happy to forgo the pleasures they bring until you are established as a
man, by all means concentrate all your energies on your inner game.
Be careful, though, of your motives. If your real hope is that you will
attract women simply by becoming a better man through self-
improvement, I’m afraid there are no shortcuts. You need to learn
game. Concentrate on the externals at least for a while. The reason is
simple. Unless you become famous, no matter how much you build
up your self-esteem, business, or even your body you will still need to
learn how to approach and interact with women.

The sad truth is that in the cruel world of the sexual marketplace it is
the externals—your behaviour, the way you carry yourself, and, yes,
the way you look—that counts. I have friends who are very wealthy
who go to clubs and leave alone because they have no game. I have
friends who are exceptionally good looking. For them, meeting
women is slightly easier. They get more of a pass for error, but they
still rarely get approached, and when they do they must know how to
keep the conversation going and how to escalate to get consistent
results.
The ideal strategy would be to work on your inner and outer game
simultaneously, but if you are new and looking to get good with
women, I would advise that you put the latter first for a while at least.
It will strengthen your skill set, and you will find that you are
naturally more inclined to improve other aspects of yourself as you
grow.
This doesn’t mean that you should learn outdated, silly routines.
What it does mean is that you should start going out consistently
(either day or night, or both) and get used to having conversations
with women where you are pushing for tangible outcomes, e.g., a
phone number, a kiss, or more. This must be done hundreds of times
before proficiency is acquired. Note that this is not about pedestalising
pussy. It’s about becoming a man empowered with choice in his sex
life.
Only when you are comfortable in this particular area of your life
should you pull back, reassess, and focus on other things.
 [15]

Game and the Problem of Trying

to Change One’s Personality

ONE OF THE ELEMENTS OF GAME that is little discussed but which

has been an issue for me and other players that I know is the
dissociating psychological effect that adopting a “game persona” can
cause.
If not properly handled, this is something that can stymie a man’s
success with women or at least put a glass ceiling on it. Fortunately,
awareness of the problem and a couple of simple precautions can help
matters considerably.
Broadly, dissociation is the feeling of inadequacy or not being good
enough that men can experience when they adopt the cocky/funny
persona of the jerk or hot guy that gets girls.
Before you deride me for suggesting that people be something they’re
not, I should point out that the essence of game is accentuating one’s
more attractive qualities while turning the volume down on those that
will yield a vaginal Sahara in your wake.
The field experience of thousands of men reveals that women are
most attracted to those who overindex on disparaging humour,
entitlement, and arrogance. It is my belief that all men have these
attributes somewhere deep within in them even if they’ve been
subdued by years of social conditioning.
The job of a good game instructor or pickup coach is to help his
student access and emphasize these characteristics while dealing with
girls, but this doesn’t come without a price.

The former beta male, when required to project the alpha vibes of a
school jock who’s enjoyed female attention for years, is naturally
going to feel a little unusual to say the least. The problem, though, is
that these strategies work. But the man who utilises them and see his
results leap may well continue to feel uncomfortable even as he
experiences female approval and validation in the form of sex.

As a former “nice guy” (albeit one who had occasionally pulled girls
before on an inconsistent basis), most of the behaviours that made me
successful at meeting women were learned rather than intuitive. It
was reading books, websites, and Internet forums that taught me that
being assumptive, “'flipping the script” and making out that a hot girl
is chasing you rather than the other way around actually amps up her
attraction rather than earning you a slap round the face.
Faking it to make it is more likely to get you laid than see her
questioning your sanity. I am someone who has pretty much always
learned to do things through books, and pickup was no different.
However much I read, though, nothing could have prepared me for
the positive reactions of girls when I accused them of checking me out
(even when they weren’t) or of trying to turn the conversation
towards sex or of fantasising about having sex with me (even when
they weren’t).
At first, the benefits were obvious and enjoyable, but I couldn’t and
sometimes still can’t help feeling conscious of that gap between how
the girls I sleep with view me and how I view myself (or used to, at
least). I read an article recently (I think it was by the Krauser) that said
that women’s solipsism benefits the player by creating social proof
because once you’ve slept with her she will naturally imagine that all
other girls want to sleep with you as well.
The reality is that you might easily get blown out by the next woman
you speak to. It doesn’t matter. Perception is king, but that female
solipsism and the kind of hero worship that it raises in a girl you’ve
banged can feel incongruous to the man who has spent a lot of his life
suffering from low self-esteem or even disliking himself.
There have been many times when I’ve hung out with girls who’ve
kept asking me if I’m “always like this” or “how many other girls I’ve
done this with,” no doubt imagining that I was some kind of Don Juan
from birth. While going along with it, my mind has often cried out,
unable to understand how she can have read me so wrong and not
realised that the devil-may-care seducer getting her pussy wet is so
different from the person I am underneath or that I was before game
at least.
The net effect of all this is a feeling of artificiality, even loneliness. At
times, it can seem odd that the women I let into my life, even for a
short time, don’t really know the first thing about me, about my life,
my struggle to become what I am today—a socially adept guy who
can meet women like the naturals I went to school with.
But here’s the thing. Girls don’t care about my life, about my struggle.
They care only for the tingles that an alpha gives them, and because I
enjoy having sex, which I think is a fundamental pillar of any human
being’s life, I have had to accentuate the right characteristics to get by.

If you find yourself experiencing these feeling of disassociation, my

best advice would be to seek male friends with whom you can discuss
them. Close guy friends won’t judge you; in fact, they will more than
likely admire you for making positive changes. They will support you
and give you the strength you need as you become accustomed to
your new persona.
Don’t get down about putting on a false front. You’re not. You’re
simply presenting the best sales case for your product (you) in the
manner that the current market demands.
Whatever you do, don’t decide to drop game and “just be yourself.”
Women won’t thank you for it, and you will quickly find yourself as
lonely as a bachelor with a fresh tube of lube and an expired X-Art
subscription.
 [16]

Developing Your Personal Brand is

the Key to Great Game

MANY MEN FEEL that they have to be a certain physical type, e.g.,
tall, good looking, chiselled, or emulate a particular conversational
approach to be successful with women, but this is not the case. I have
recently been privileged to observe the game of two friends of mine,
both very different types of men. Watching them has convinced me
that there many approaches to succeeding with women, and that the
key to optimising your own chances is working out what your selling
points are and developing a personal brand around them.
Let me give you a pen portrait of both of my friends. Even in outline,
you will see that they are very different.

Dave is tall with the body shape of a large refrigerator. A former

mechanic, he has made enough money through a series of property
deals not to have to work. A regular at the clubs and bars where he
lives, he knows everyone, and anyone he doesn’t know he can talk
around in a matter of minutes. While good looking, he is no film star,
but without doubt he is an imposing figure with considerable
personal magnetism.
His style with women is direct but not just direct in the “I-noticed-
you-and-thought-you-were-cute” way. No. This guy is off the scale.
Without any exaggeration, I have heard him introduce himself to girls
by speculating how their pussies taste. He is up front about how
“filthy” he is and how he will fuck nothing less than the dirtiest girls.
You will probably imagine that he gets slapped a lot, but amazingly
the opposite is true. Perhaps it is the twinkle in his eye, his sheer,
unabashed audacity, or the fact that he coats his no-nonsense
sexuality with a lot of charm, but I have seen girls lapping this stuff
up, giving him anime eyes, and melting in his presence. His “brand”
is the tough guy who is unashamedly sexual but who has a heart too.
Peter is his physical opposite. Very short—just over five foot-six—he
has a slender frame and a handsome but unspectacular face topped
with a floppy, Hugh Grant haircut. He is highly intelligent, a Harvard
MBA, who now works in finance (although he doesn’t advertise the
fact when he’s out). He has also studied game unlike Dave who is a
natural.
His method is indirect—the complete opposite Dave’s. He is the king
of conversation. Seriously, if you put him in a sealed room with the
Mona Lisa, he’d have her cracking a smile and bantering within
minutes. Highly intelligent, with loads of energy and persistence, his
“brand” is the superarticulate, supersocial guy who can vibe everyone
at the party before going in for the kill with his favourite girl at the
end of the night.
While I have felt dry and inarticulate next to both men while they’ve
hogged the limelight in whatever club or bar we’ve been in, it is
difficult to argue that either has “better” game because their styles are
so radically different. The fact that both are able to command the
attention of women and stoke their attraction merely underlines the
fact that “good game” doesn’t come in one homogenous package, and
that to succeed you need to identify your own strengths and
exacerbate these.
I could look at Dave and think that I need to get jacked and develop a
gruff cockney accent. Or I might consider Paul and bemoan the fact
that I didn’t study business at an Ivy League school, but that would be
a mistake. The fact is that their game works for them is because it is
entirely coherent with their individual personalities. If I tried to copy
either of them, I would come over as inauthentic and put off more
girls off than I attracted.

Game is not about complete personal reinvention. Rather, it is about

enhancing your best attributes and, most importantly, believing in
them so passionately that this communicates itself to the girls you
approach. So if you are an economics nerd, don’t try to dumb down.
Instead, own your knowledge and display it. Similarly, if you are a
physical, sporty guy who is less interested in witty banter, don’t
worry. Play to your own particular strengths.
What is important to realise is that successful men come in all shapes
and sizes and have wildly different approaches. So don’t try to live up
to some imagined level of “good game.” Instead, sit down and
honestly list your most obvious characteristics. Then select the most
positive of these and start to work out how they can be most
attractively packaged.
Doing this is the first step to building your own personal brand and
will ensure that you are authentically attractive to women rather than
trying to be a pale imitation of someone else.
 [17]

Eight Traits That Every Successful

Man Has

OVER THE YEARS, I HAVE BEEN FRIENDS with a number of very

successful men, including writers and other artists, people who’ve
made a fortune in finance and property, the CEOs of various global
companies, and a very famous British recording artist who has had a
number of transatlantic hit records.
I have spent a long time thinking about what they have in common,
and I’ve observed that they all share eight particular traits. While this
list is by no means exhaustive, the characteristics below are positive
and worth emulating whether you want to meet women, start a
business, or create art.

1. The Ability To Self-Publicize Without Annoying People

Let’s face it. We are in the golden age of self-promotion, with global
stars as diverse as Ed Sheeran, Calvin Harris, and Kim Kardashian all
owing their initial success in a large part to their social media profiles.
While I’m not suggesting you should become a digital braggart who
puts everyone off by making every Tweet about your latest project,
you will do well to find less obtrusive ways of letting people know
about your successes.
Success doesn’t happen in a vacuum, and unless you let people know
what you’ve done they very likely won’t be aware of it or will pay
little attention.
Success is contagious. Once people know that things you are doing are
working they are more likely to approach you with ideas to augment
yours.
2. …But Avoid Talking Too Much About Current Projects In Casual
Conversations
This doesn’t contradict the point about self-promotion. Once a project
is finished, you should be talking about it. Before it’s ready, you
should be working on it. Save the chatter for when you’re done.
3. An Almost Pathological Obsession With What They Do
People who are very successful are obsessed with whatever field they
work in. This is essential. If you don’t love what you do to the
exclusion of (almost) everything else, you should find something else
to focus on and make your current hustle a hobby, if that. It is only
through the razor-sharp focus brought about by immersion in a
subject that success is born.
This obsession should not be limited to your own work. It must also
include being a “fan” of others. So, if you want to be a concert pianist,
you should have listened to every recording you can get your hands
on of the best (and the worst) other concert pianists. You need to
understand what it is other people are doing, not to copy them, but to
learn from them as you develop your own style.
4. The Ability To Make Quick Decisions
Decision-making is hard, but procrastinating doesn’t help anyone.
Sun Szu in The Art of War says that a long, protracted war has never
done anyone any good. Make your decision quickly on the basis of the
information at hand and act immediately.
In many cases, it is less the decision you’ve made that is important, as
frequently two routes can both have merit, as simply taking action
and enjoying forward momentum.
5. …And Not Be Swayed

Once you’ve made a decision, don’t look back. Stick with it.
Understand that you took what you believed to be the right action in
the moment and trust your instincts. You chose that route for a reason.
Don’t beat yourself up about what could have happened if you’d gone
the other way. Move on and don’t look back.
6. A Strong Sense of Self

The successful men I know have a very strong sense of their own
identity, likes, dislikes, and beliefs. In game terms, this translates
roughly as having a strong frame, and it means that you will be
harder to push around, less prone to navel-gazing and uncertainty,
and more steadfast. Take time to understand yourself, work out
where you stand in relation to the world, and live accordingly.
7. An Invincible Work Ethic
Real success requires hard work. The English novelist Anthony
Trollope used to get up at 5:00 a.m. to write before his day job. As
soon as he finished one novel, he would move on to the next—
sometimes on the same day.

Whether you want to get good at meeting girls or start making money
online, you need to stop making excuses and get to work. Once you
begin putting in the hours, it will become addictive, and you’ll
establish a virtuous circle, finding it hard to tolerate your old, less-
driven lifestyle.
8. The Ability to Maintain Consistency of Output in the Face of
Success or Failure
Successful people don’t dwell on great failures or great successes.
They’re too busy working on the next big project. Once you’ve put
something out into the world, be it a blog post, an approach to a hot
girl, or a new product, how it is received is largely out of your hands.
You should certainly tweak and refine as much as you can and learn
from any errors, but undue angst or celebration won’t help.
Consistency of effort is the mother of success, not analysis.
 [18]

How You Get Over That One

Special Girl

UNDERSTAND THIS: really grasping the concept of abundance is

fundamental to success with women. When I did so, my results
skyrocketed, and that will happen for you too.
The seduction community frequently discusses a condition it calls
“oneitus”: in fact, the term has become something of a meme simply
because the phenomenon it refers to is so common. Oneitus, put
simply, is the myth of “the one”—the belief that one “special girl” is
the only person in the universe who can make you complete, and that
without her life will be meaningless.
Often, although not exclusively, a man’s “oneitus” will be a girl he is
attracted to but has not yet hooked up with for whatever reason.
Perhaps she is a colleague at work he hasn’t had the courage to
approach, or maybe he has approached her and she has rejected him
with the infamous LJBF formula— “let’s just be friends”—a line
women use to turn down men so frequently that it has also become a
trope in its own right.
This is the most painful place a man can be—in what used to be called
unrequited love—terrible, soul-destroying craving for that one special
girl. If you find yourself in this position, and indeed if you’ve come to
this book to try to get that one special girl to like you, you need to take
steps to disengage from those negative feelings and forget about her.
Banish from your memory all those romantic movies you’ve seen
where the shy, nerdy but good-hearted guy winds up getting his
beautiful long-term crush to go out with him at the end. Real life just
isn’t like that. The truth is that girls (like guys) categorize potential
romantic and sexual partners very quickly and usually within the first
few minutes of meeting. If you are in the wrong camp, i.e., a girl’s
“friend” camp, you will find it is very, very difficult to get out again,
and in most cases it’s impossible.
Far better to walk away from this girl and move on to a fresh prospect,
who (with the help of this book) you will present yourself to
differently—as a potential sex partner. Later on, when the first girl has
seen that you’ve had success elsewhere and notes your change in
demeanour she might—and it’s an outside chance—reconsider, but
don’t count on it. Do yourself a favour and move on.
Do not under any circumstances buy into the “friends” frame. Women
are happy to spin out these pretend friendships for months or even
years, as they receive validation from them for minimal emotional
investment, but the truth is that you’re not truly friends. There’s an
imbalance. You want something more from her than she is unwilling
to provide, and you both know it.
No true friendship can exist on these terms. Don’t feel you owe her
anything just because she’s being “nice” to you (on the surface at
least). Life is short, and you need to put your own interests first. The
frame with which you should approach your male-female interactions
should be honest and straightforward: either this leads to sex and a
man-to-woman relationship or I walk.
If at this point you are thinking something along the lines of “but she’s
special and different and I want to get to know her first before
sleeping with her,” or you think it somehow crude to put sex first, you
need to take a reality check and realise how things actually work. Sex
always comes first and the “relationship” afterwards. It is not even
necessary for a girl to especially “like” you for her to sleep with you.
Attraction is all that’s required.
If you have come to this book hoping to “convert” a special girl that
you’ve asked out once or twice but not gotten any traction with her,
you need to rip the Band-Aid off and move on. Here’s a six-step guide
on how to do so:
•Accept that at the moment, the way things are, this girl is not
into you in the way that you want her to be.
•Break all contact with her immediately: e.g., stop calling her,
don’t answer if she calls you, de-friend her on Facebook, block
her on Twitter. Shore up all possible routes of engagement,
basically.
•Avoid all conversations about her with mutual friends. In fact,
just cut out the mutual friends. The last thing you want right
now are constant reminders of her.
•Stamp on any unwanted or negative thoughts about her
unmercifully.
•Whenever a thought comes up, don’t wallow; suppress it hard,
and move on.
•Have guy friends you can talk to discreetly about it, but limit
these to one or two at most. The friends must be male and must
be those who are going to understand and help you stick to
your guns rather than talk you out of your course of action.
Don’t talk to anyone else aside from these people about the
situation, and try to limit the amount of time you spend talking
to them about it. Again, don’t wallow.
•And last, but most importantly, you must go out and meet
other girls.
 [19]

The Personality Trait That May Be

Hurting Your Chances With
Women

ONE OF THE CHIEF DIFFICULTIES with entering into the project of

self-improvement is that constantly working on and thinking about
oneself can cause an excess of self-awareness that is often
counterproductive.
In the arena of seduction in particular, too much self-awareness is a
repellent that drives women away. As many of the men who get into
game (myself included) are ex-betas who study up on alpha
behaviours to get girls, it is perhaps inevitable that a certain degree of
cerebral naval-gazing surrounds the activity.

Realise, though, that even if your natural inclination is towards self-

analysis, the archetypal alpha jock from high school that pulled the
cheerleader was unlikely to have troubled himself too much with
introspection. Therefore, you should make an effort to limit or conceal
this aspect of your persona, at least in the early stages of an
interaction.
The truth, gentlemen, is that too much self-awareness just isn’t sexy.
However much you might like to think of yourself as a deep and
fascinatingly unique character, to girls you will more often than not
come across as unconfident and weak.
A classic fictional example of this can be found in Woody Allen’s
movie Crimes and Misdemeanours in which Woody plays Clifford Stern,
a classic Allen creation who is beset with fear, neurosis, and self-
doubt. In the film, he falls in love with Mia Farrow’s character Halley
Reed, a TV executive, only to lose her to the brash, un-self-conscious
alpha Lester (played by Alan Alda).
There are many differences between Clifford and Lester, not least of
which is Lester’s higher status as a top-flight producer against
Clifford’s struggling would-be documentary-maker, but the most
marked in terms of personality is Allen’s crippling self-awareness set
against Alda’s careless social dominance. In the end, despite the
“happy ever after” that viewers might have expected, it is Alda who
comes out on top.
Ideally, then, when you are approaching women, you should not be
“stuck in your own head.” You should not be considering what she
might be thinking about you. Ideally, you should walk up to her
without a single thought in your head.
Why?
Think again about the high school jock. When he approached the
cheerleader, was he worried about her opinion of him? No. It
wouldn’t have occurred to him that she might not have liked him, and
even if it did he wouldn’t have cared because he would have lacked
the introspection to get cut up about it. He is like that because he lives
in the moment, and so should you.
Remember that the problem many men have is that they second-guess
the basis of the rejections they imagine they might get from girls
before they’ve even happened. This is not merely counterproductive.
It’s insane.
So if you are the self-aware type, what should you do? Below are five
tips that you might find helpful.
1. Drink Alcohol
This one is tricky, as I don’t drink alcohol these days myself, but many
men do, and with good reason. It temporarily silences those voices in
their heads and dulls their self-awareness.

Quite a few people serious about game claim that it’s better not to
drink if you want to get really good. While I agree with this to a
certain extent—and you certainly shouldn’t use alcohol as a crutch of
any kind—my view is that as long as you don’t have a propensity for
dependency then a couple of drinks will do no harm and will get you
into a social mood, which is all important.

2. Do Physical Exercise
An obvious one, but it works well. After you’ve done some heavy
compound weight training, in particular for large muscle groups, such
as the legs, the resultant release of testosterone will make it all but
impossible for you to remain in your head for too long.
3. Act Without Thinking
It’s easier said than done, but many situations in life don’t need to be
considered too carefully, as whatever you do will lead to an
experience of some kind, and experiencing something is always better
than stasis. With that being said, it is always better to go for the
decision that will make your life more rather than less interesting.

So if the decision is whether or not you should approach that girl in

Starbucks, the answer is yes. Whatever interaction you have with her,
whether it’s a quick rejection or a coffee that eventually leads to sex
and a relationship, you will learn something, and your life will have
been made more interesting as a result.
For this reason, it’s sometimes better not to think too carefully before
taking a leap. Simply take a deep breath, think about which option
will make for the best story afterwards, and go for it.
4. Write Morning Pages
This is a tip from a book called The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron,
where Cameron presents a course to help the aspiring artist or writer
unlock their budding creativity. In practice, most people seem to skip
all of it and just focus on doing the morning pages she recommends—
three pages of freehand, unstructured automatic writing. Yes, that’s
right. Just sit down at a desk and write three pages without thinking
about it.
The benefit of doing this is that it will clear your subconscious of
niggly, recurring thoughts and obsessions in the short term at least. By
getting them out on the page and leaving them there, you’ll free
yourself to enjoy your day without the “interference” of a too-busy,
hectoring mind to bother you.
5. Be A Good Actor
In the end, if you are an extremely self-aware person, this is unlikely
to change overnight. Therefore, perhaps the most foolproof short-term
fix is just to be aware of the problem and to act as if you don’t have it.
For any given situation you find yourself in, imagine how the alpha
jock would act, and then do the same thing yourself.
You may not be congruent to your true self in that instant, but needs
must. This is about faking it to make it. You can be as self-aware as
you like for the rest of the day. When you are standing in front of a
pretty girl, you need to drop the Woody Allen shtick and act from the
gut. Do so enough times and it will become natural, which will only
increase your success rate in both romantic encounters and most other
social interactions.
 [20]

What to Do When You’ve Been

Rejected So Many Times You’re
Ready To Give Up

THE IDEA THAT MEETING AND ATTRACTING GIRLS consistently

has much in common with sales is nothing new. However, having
recently read Jeb Blount’s excellent business book Fanatical Prospecting,
I can reveal that he drops in one particular nugget that every seducer
would do well keep in mind at all times:
When it is time to go home, make one more call.
This simple eleven-word mantra, if applied consistently, is guaranteed
to increase your success with girls whether you are looking for a
relationship or something short term.

Some time ago, having been employed by a start-up to generate new

business in a tough marketplace, I sought inspiration from a number
of business and sales books. By far the best that I came across was
Fanatical Prospecting. Blount, a U.S. sales professional who built a
multimillion dollar business from scratch through sheer grit and the
determination to make thousands of sales, shares a very simple
message.
Every business is built through sales, or to put it another way, sales
are the lifeblood of every business. For this reason, it is essential to
always maintain a healthy pipeline of “possible” deals. Some of these
will come off, and some won’t, but those that don’t matter less if you
have another ten prospects hot and ready to go.
For this reason, the most important job the salesman has over
administrative tasks, filling in spreadsheets, and lunching existing
clients, is fanatical prospecting . To put it simply, the more sales calls
you make, the more likely you will be to enjoy success from at least a
few of them.
Of course, the process of sales, just like the process of going out to a
club or high street and chatting up girls you’ve never met before, can
be both daunting and spirit crushing. Rejection after rejection makes
you question the quality of your product (yourself), your skills, and
the market.
This is normal.
Blount correctly points out that even superstar salespeople don’t
particularly like the process. No one enjoys getting door after door
slammed in his face after all, but what separates the men from the
boys, so to speak, is having the ability to take those no’s, carry on, and
just make one more call anyway.

A useful analogy is weight training. How often has it been said that it
is doing one more rep that truly makes the difference? If, at the end of
a gruelling bench press set, you can bring yourself to push out one
more rep, and if you do this consistently, the effect on your physique
over time will be exponential.
The idea of “grit” being at the heart of success is also fashionable right
now, with such books as Angela Duckworth’s Grit: The Power of
Passion and Perseverance being very popular in business and self-help
circles. Duckworth claims that grit is a more accurate predictor of
success than IQ.
Such a theory is very seductive, almost a variant on the American
dream in that it suggests that anyone can achieve anything they want
if only they work hard enough for it, but it also happens to be true. In
any endeavour, it is not necessarily the most talented but those willing
to go the extra mile who end up succeeding.
Grit is not only an essential component in business, but you also need
it when you set out to meet girls. Why? Simply because the truth of
the matter is that not every girl you meet will be open to having a
relationship or sex with you. In fact, unless you’re exceptionally good
looking or famous, most won’t. Therefore, you need to be resilient
enough to work through the rejections, roll with the punches, and
keep going until you find someone with whom you click.
There have been countless times where I have seen this principle play
out in nightclubs and bars where I have sought to meet women with
no immediate success. Remember, though, that it only takes one “yes”
to turn a terrible night into an amazing one.
I recall one night when it seemed that I would enjoy no success
whatsoever. My every approach was spurned, and I got no traction at
all. This, in turn, began to affect my mood. I lost confidence and felt
certain that tonight I would enjoy no such at all.
But I kept going, approaching even as everything appeared to be
against me. Finally, standing by the downstairs bar, there she was: an
angel in fairy wings, a short skirt, stockings, and suspenders (yes, it
was that kind of party).
Having said little more than a cheeky “hey,” within five minutes, I
was making out with her, and a couple of hours later I was in a taxi
heading back to her place.
The lesson here is clear: had I not made that one last approach I would
not have got laid that night. So next time you’re out, remember that it
isn’t over until it’s over. However bad things may seem, just make one
more approach. You never know what might happen.
 [21]

6 Ways You Can Motivate Yourself

To Go Out and Meet Hot Girls

ONE MAJOR PROBLEM faced by most players at one time or another

is a lack of motivation. When faced with the choice between going out
into the unpredictable and potentially harsh world of the club to meet
girls (or to the mall, if daygame is your thing) or staying at home and
loading up Netflix, the temptation is often to choose the latter. How
do you break free of this unhelpful inertia?
1. Accept Your State of Mind
There’s no easy way around not wanting to put yourself on the line.
The truth is that there’s not a human being alive who wouldn’t rather
have life be less difficult. Unfortunately, the reality is that 90 percent
of the time life is a struggle, and you only get out of it what you put
in.
But you’re human: don’t beat yourself up. If you know you should be
taking a particular course of action but just can’t bring yourself to do
so, simply pause for a moment, take a deep breath, and observe your
own resistance. Don’t judge yourself. Simply note your feelings, and
try to accept them.
2. Understand That Feelings Are Temporary
Think about all the times you’ve felt unhappy or anxious or worried.
They passed, right? Realize that whatever you are feeling now that is
making you inactive will also pass, be it tiredness, depression,
boredom. Take a few moments to project into your future and imagine
yourself feeling positive and motivated again. Now make an effort to
“borrow” from those future good feelings to vibe yourself up in the
present.
3. Take the Next Right Step
Don’t think about the bigger picture—the night ahead, the
intimidating door staff at the club, the bright lights, the loud music,
and that bitchy girl you’re going to have to steel yourself to approach.
Instead, break down the process of going out into small, manageable
chunks, and simply do the next right thing.
Hungry? Cook a meal. Need something to wear? Iron a shirt, and pick
out a pocket square. Need transport? Call a cab. Don’t stress yourself
out. Just be sure to accomplish those small incremental actions that
will get you out of your apartment.
4. Keep Your Long-Term Goals in Mind
While you are taking these incremental steps, on a meta level you
need to have some sense of why you are doing so. You shouldn’t
think about the minutiae of the night ahead: what you must do,
though, is keep in mind your wider goals. If your intention is to
become good with women or to achieve sexual abundance, it follows
that you must approach. To approach, you must go out.
All success is founded to some degree on the sublimation of
temporary discomfort in the interest of a greater good. Think, for
example, of the athlete who spends many hours training so that he
can compete in the Olympics even while his friends are socializing.
Knowing that your feelings are temporary anyway and that taking
action will have a positive impact on your higher ambitions should be
enough to jolt you into activity.
5. Remember: Action Creates Momentum
Simple actions create momentum, and momentum creates results.
Most of us have probably felt under par before going on to have a
fantastic night at least once in our lives. Trust your own capacity to
rise to the occasion once you get into a social environment.
Once you’ve arrived at the club or the bar, the drinks are flowing, the
music is playing, and many hot ladies are all around, your motivation
will naturally increase. Bear in mind that how you feel will change
once you get out there and pull forward those good feelings you know
you’re bound to feel. Having a couple of drinks at home and putting
on some loud party music will help.
6. Lower The Bar—Sometimes Just Being Out is Enough
Remember: you don’t have to be a master pickup artist. In fact, you
don’t even have to be that good. All too frequently, men (myself
included) will put undue pressure on themselves, as though they have
to live up to some externally defined standard of PUA mastery. You
don’t. However long you’ve been in the game, you’re allowed to suck,
so go out there and suck. See how many times you can get blown out.
It really doesn’t matter. Going out is meant to be fun, remember?
Every so often life will throw you a line. There have been many
occasions I’ve gone out and met a girl out who just happened to like
me—not because of “tight game” or any special strategy—but simply
because of natural chemistry. The same will happen for you but only
if you go out. As the expression goes, you have to be in it to win it.
You can’t expect a girl just to turn up at your bedroom while you’re
playing World of Warcraft, but going out and socializing at least means
there’s a fighting chance that you might meet someone you happen to
click with through minimum effort.
Hopefully, these tips will help you get through those tough times
when you just don’t feel like going out.
 [22]

6 Tips For Avoiding Burnout

ANY ENDEAVOUR YOU UNDERTAKE IN LIFE, whether it is

writing a novel, starting a business, or learning to get good with girls,
will require that you make a massive effort to be successful. But
massive effort is a great thing. A man must have a mission in life, and
true happiness comes when you work hard at it. A very real
consequence of having a singular vision, however, is burnout, which
is something you must strive to avoid.
The requirement for “massive effort” to succeed will be familiar to
anyone who has read or listened to such motivational speakers as
Tony Robbins or business and sales gurus, such as Grant Cardone.
Cardone in particular writes very inspiringly about the topic in his
book The 10X Rule, which I would recommend not only to those who
work in sales but also for anyone who has an interest in improving
their life generally.
Cardone’s premise is that to achieve any given goal in today’s frenetic,
fast-paced world, you need to give every aspect of your project 10X
the effort that you might originally envisage.
Such a degree of dedicated effort, for Cardone, is the difference
between success and failure, but there is another strand to his theory.
To be truly successful, you must also ensure that you set your goals
ten times higher than required. If, for example, you want to make
$10,000, you must make it your goal to earn $100,000.
This is a familiar concept. By aiming high, even if you don’t end up
pulling in the whole $100,000, you are likely to finish up with a whole
lot more than had you shot for less.

From the 10,000 hours theory made famous by Malcom Gladwell,

which states that mastery of any discipline only comes about after
10,000 hours of effort, to Angela Duckworth’s Grit , there is no
shortage of writers and thinkers telling us that we have to move
quickly if we want to achieve anything worthwhile.
I wholeheartedly agree.

For me, there are two important elements to working hard—first, that
it will indeed raise the probability of your achieving success, and
second, it is good for the soul. As David Deida notes in The Way of the
Superior Man, men particularly need a mission in life that is
unconnected with women. Whether it is a movie script, a sport, or a
microbrewery business, you need to have something that obsesses
you that you are inspired to work on day and night. Not only are you
more likely to be successful through sheer intensity of effort, but you
will also lead a happier life.
My own mission is writing. Aside from this book, I have also
published The 7 Laws of Seduction, Text Game Mastery. I have several
blogs, write journalism for other titles, and have written novels and
nonfiction books. Writing for me is both a business and an art. It is my
intention that in time 100 percent of my income will come from
writing (in whatever form), and I am working to make that a reality
now.
The work is pleasurable, although that’s not to say that I am ecstatic
every time I sit down at the keyboard. As anyone who has tried it
knows, writing is hard, frustrating, and takes time. It also requires you
to make thousands of micro decisions every few seconds and can
leave you filled with self-doubt.
Nevertheless, I can honestly say that I love it. Writing gives me a sense
of flow and freedom that few other activities do. I love the poetry of
language and the challenge of wrestling with it on the page, of
marshalling it for my own purposes. I have sat indoors writing while
the sun has been high in the sky and others have been out enjoying
themselves. These stints have been some of the happiest times of my
life.
Even when you have a mission, though, burnout is real, something
that was brought home to me recently by the experience of a close
friend. This friend had spent countless hours working on his start-up
company to the exclusion of almost everything else. He would work
from early in the morning until late at night, determined that his
dream would become a reality. All was going well, and he was on the
verge of securing a multimillion pound venture capital injection, but
he was stressed out and found it hard to sleep at night. He visited his
doctor but to no avail. Then, over a single weekend, everything
unravelled, and he was admitted to hospital suffering from
exhaustion. The damage to his mental health was so significant that he
has been compelled to take time off and put his business plans on
hold.
His story presents a complication for me, someone who would
otherwise unreservedly advocate massive, determined effort in
pursuit of your goals.

But just because burnout is possible, I wouldn’t advise anyone not to

work hard. Instead, I would caution you to be aware of the dangers
and to temper your efforts with a few simple strategies.
1. Keep in mind the bigger picture.
Okay, so your pickup, business, novel, or sporting achievement is
incredibly important to you, but try to keep things in perspective.
Even if it doesn’t work for you this time, it’s not the end of the world.
You will always have another chance, even if you have to amend or
tweak your goal slightly. Work hard on the task in hand, but don’t let
it consume you. Try to take a “whatever happens is for the best”
approach, which is much more healthy and will take the pressure off
so that you can do your best work.

2. Write A Gratitude List And Believe In Abundance

Every night you should write a list of five to ten things you are
grateful for. These could be anything from your education to readily
available food to having a place to live and work.
It sounds so simple as to be asinine, but remembering and actually
writing down all the things that make your life great is a useful way of
putting things into perspective. It may seem like the end of the world
when you’ve sent out a hundred prospecting emails to potential
clients and no one’s responded, but the truth is there are still many
other things in your life to be thankful for.
At the same time, you should always maintain a belief in abundance.
Again this may seem a little hokey and new age, but always
remember that another person’s success will not preclude yours. If it’s
your aim to get good with girls and a friend is successful every time
you go out, don’t be jealous. Instead, congratulate him and realize
what is possible, and that there are literally billions of women out
there. Some of them will like you too.
3. Stay In Contact With Friends And Family

An obvious point but one that you must remember. Your family and
close friends are your bedrock. You need to maintain regular contact
with them no matter how busy you get. If you have to, schedule time
in your calendar to call your mum and dad. This is something I don’t
do enough, and I should.
You are not alone on this planet. Maintain regular contact with those
closest to you and be grateful for them.
4. Help Others
This sounds counterintuitive, but the best way to help yourself,
particularly if you’re going through a period of stress, is to help other
people. Doing so will take you out of yourself and remind you that
you are not the centre of the universe. This could be as simple as
mentoring someone or volunteering to assist those who are ill or
otherwise disadvantaged.
This is not some happy-clappy, pseudo-religious dogma but a very
practical way for relieving stress and living a good life. Try it.
5. Keep It In The Day

We live our lives in increments punctuated by sleep, and no human

being can live more than one of these at a time, so remember that life
only happens twenty-four hours at a time. The past is gone: whatever
has happened cannot now he changed, so don’t sweat it. The future is
beyond your control, subject to a myriad of unforeseen factors. It’s not
worth worrying about.
Instead, do yourself a favour and focus on what is in front of you right
now. Keeping it in the day is a great way of narrowing your focus to
the one thing you have at least some control over: the present.
6. Hand The Outcome Over
You may succeed, you may fail. You would certainly rather succeed,
and I would encourage you to do everything you can to make that
happen, but in the end some events are out of your control. Try not to
tie all your happiness to a specific outcome.
If you don’t get that publishing deal, you’ll be disappointed, but
you’ll always have another shot. The success or failure of an entire life
is rarely founded on a single outcome, so don’t take things so
seriously. Instead, hand it over to the universe, your higher power, or
to a god, if you believe in one, and concentrate on the work in hand
instead.
Remember that if you’re fixated on a particular goal then great, but
don’t let it consume you. Try the simple tips I’ve outlined to get some
much-needed clarity and distance. If you put the work in on the tasks
in front of you, the results will take care of themselves.
 [23]

Act “As If” Instead of Worrying

About Reaching Optimal State

IF YOU WANT to successfully attract beautiful women, either for

short-term pleasure or long-term, serious relationships, you must be
prepared to take action in spite of how you are feeling. Failure to act is
not masculine and will not serve you. Commit today to acting
decisively in going for what you want today.
Perhaps you have seen a cute girl in line at your local coffee shop.
Maybe a couple of hotties are buying drinks at the bar. In such
circumstances, it is very easy to make excuses for not approaching,
such as “I’m too tired right now,” “I don’t have the energy after
work,” or “I’m feeling a little unconfident today.” Scratch these from
your mind immediately. They will not serve you. Instead, make a
commitment to yourself to take action when you see a girl you like
regardless of how you feel.
In the pickup community, there is a concept known as “state.” You
will most probably have experienced it. Imagine you are in a bar or a
club. You talk to your friends, maybe have a few beers, and start to
feel lightness, confidence, even a little bit of bravado. Perhaps you
chat with people you don’t know and perhaps ask them how their
night is going. After a while, you start to feel an almost uncanny
ability to speak to anyone and everyone. It is as though you are
propelled by some mysterious social energy, protected by a powerful
forcefield from shyness or embarrassment.
Now, don’t get me wrong. State, or social momentum, is real and it
will serve you. There are many times I’ve been out, hit a wave of state,
and, in my mood of heightened confidence, gone on to pull a cute girl.
When you go out, it is definitely worth trying such exercises as talking
to everyone you meet (e.g., shop assistant, Uber driver, coat check
guy) before that first girl to improve your mood. When you’re face-to-
face with a cute girl, you will then come over as calm and socially
adept, but you shouldn’t rely on it.

The most important aspect of game (and of any endeavour) is action.

The difficulty with relying on state is that it gives the player an easy
excuse not to act. “I could have approached her, but I wasn’t in state.”
“I’m just not feeling it tonight. I’ll pass on talking to her and have
another drink instead.” Let’s be clear. If your goal is to get good with
girls, this sort of thinking will get you nowhere. In fact, worse than
that it will set you back because it is only by taking consistent action
and learning from your mistakes that you will improve your results.
The British painter Francis Bacon led a famously debauched life in
1960s London, getting drunk most nights in Soho’s bars and
restaurants and spending most of his money in casinos. Despite such
revelry, he would get up early every morning to paint. Whereas many
men would crumble in the face of a hangover, Bacon positively
revelled in them, saying that they improved his work. Through this
commitment to action, Bacon became one of the most revered British
painters of modern times, with his works now regularly sold for
record-breaking amounts in galleries all around the world.
If you want to get good at something, you have to commit to taking
action in spite of how you feel, for it is only consistent action taken over
time that will yield solid results. This is as true for meeting girls as it is
for painting or making a fortune as an entrepreneur.
As I wrote in The Seven Laws of Seduction, a mediocre or even poor
approach is better than no approach at all. We’ve all heard the
expression “you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take,” but how
many of us apply this in our lives on a daily basis?

The truth is that when most men walk up to a girl they are looking for
one of two things: her phone number to contact her for a date another
time or a same-night lay. While the latter happens often enough, most
of the time you will be hoping for a phone number, particularly if you
are doing daygame.
You don’t need the poise of Jon Hamm or the swagger of Christian
Bale to get a girl’s number. What you do need to do is ensure that you
are in front of her and that you ask her for it. These are very simple
steps that anyone can take.
The truth is that game is unpredictable anyway. You might be in the
best mood ever (your team just won or you got a promotion at work),
walk up to a girl full of elation, and still get blown out. Or you might
feel shy and introverted, walk up, and find she really likes you. The
only way to know for sure is by taking the action.
The fastest pull I ever achieved was with a girl I met very late at night
walking down the street in London. I was tired, had work the next
day, and was thinking about the big meeting I had to prepare for. No
matter—I saw this cute girl, and so I put everything out of my mind
and approached. I just went up, introduced myself, and said she was
cute. No fancy lines, no sparkling with, no high-energy bravado.
That girl ended up coming home with me.
The expression “fortune favours the brave” means just that. It does
not mean “fortune favours the brave and those also in a great mood
with loads of energy and confidence that day.”
In the end, action trumps everything, and consistent action taken over
time will get you results regardless of how you feel. So, the next time
you see a cute girl don’t worry about how you are feeling. Just be in
the moment and go up and talk to her. You never know what might
happen.
One thing is certain though. If you don’t talk to her, you have 0
percent chance of bringing her into your life
 [24]

Fake it Til You Make It—But You

Still Have To Make It

A TOOL THAT IS INCREDIBLY POPULAR in self-development is

“fake it ’til you make it”: that is, affect the external trappings of
success until it becomes second nature and you generate real success.
Too many people, however, do the first part and not the second. If
you pretend to have “made it” while not actively working to improve
your core strengths, your results will start to decline over time until
they become suboptimal.
Rather like “Feel the Fear And Do It Anyway,” “Fake it ’Til You Make
It” is one of those aphorisms that requires little explanation. As soon
as you’ve grasped the basic concept, it can feel incredibly liberating.

In the field of seduction, for example, you might start to act as if you
are a man with many girls, even when you’re just starting out and are
single. Doing so not only works (if you give the impression you are a
man in demand, women will believe it and will be drawn to you), but
it also feels great. In affecting success or abundance in an area where
you seek to excel, you will start to get positive feedback from people
that will bolster your confidence and reinforce your self-esteem.
Faking it ’til I’ve made it has perhaps been one of the most important
tools that I have utilized both in improving my skills with women as
well as in business and my social life generally. When it became
obvious to me that the easiest way to feel confident in a situation that
might previously have made me uncomfortable (say, for example,
entering a party and going around talking to large groups of people),
simply pretending that I was already a confident guy made a world of
difference.
Through acting as if, I quickly acquired the mannerisms and skills of
the man I wanted to become. In doing so, as I received positive
feedback from those I interacted with, and I noticed corresponding
spikes in my actual confidence. It was a virtuous cycle, lasting until I
no longer needed to pretend, as I genuinely possessed the confidence I
craved.
That said, faking it is all very well, but you must also be sure that you
are also spending at least an equal amount of time, if not more,
working on actually making it.
Mike spent a lot of time out on the club circuit in London trying to
impress girls by telling them he was a successful entrepreneur with a
thriving company. While this approach did indeed work on occasion
and he was able to attract beautiful girls who were impressed by his
apparent enterprise and commitment, he could never fully escape the
sense of emptiness this approach gave him.
In the end, after having spent the best part of two years conning
people that he was a self-made man, Mike saw things falling apart
around him. His parents were unceasingly unwilling to bankroll his
lifestyle, money ran short, and he found himself in a downward spiral
of alcohol and drug use as he struggled to reconcile his fantasy life
with his actual existence. Finally, after a particularly vicious three-day
bender, he hit rock bottom.
After seeking help with his addictions and achieving equilibrium, he
immediately set about writing a business plan for the start-up he had
always hoped to create. Through hard work over a year, he now has
millions of dollars of funding confirmed. His venture is shaping up to
be a success, and he no longer has to pretend. Interestingly, he has
also stopped trying to impress girls.
Now that he has generated a modicum of genuine, authentic success
and is a man on his own mission, he has felt less need for external
validation from women. His project and a sense of movement towards
his higher goals is enough for him at the moment.
Countless books and articles have been written by self-help gurus and
experts as well as YouTube videos and TED talks and the like on the
subject of “making it.” If you are interested in having a better
understanding of the mechanics of success, I would recommend that
you check out some of these. Some resources are better than others,
but you are sure to find something that resonates with you.
There are so many different ideas about how best to achieve success
(in any given field) that I don’t have space to discuss them all here,
but three fundamental principles are sure to set you on the right path
if they are applied correctly:
1. Decide what you truly want
2. Set goals to get there
3. Persist with massive action to achieve them
It makes sense that you should start by determining precisely what it
is you want to achieve. Many men aspire to money, but some would
prefer artistic success or some other form of mastery. Decide what’s
important to you rather than what you think should be important.
Map out the precise stages you need to go through to get there, and
then attack these with persistence and massive effort until they are
achieved.
Sounds simple? It is, but executing is much more challenging.
As you work on “making it,” in the background, you should by all
means “fake it” on the surface. Just remember that only by doing both
simultaneously that you will truly achieve success, fulfilment, and
happiness.
 [25]

How To Combat Fear of Rejection

With Positive Self-Interest

PEOPLE OFTEN ASK me how to best deal with fear of rejection. As

we know, this is an issue when it comes to meeting women, but it also
permeates all areas of life, as rejection is a necessary evil you will
encounter in every sphere, assuming you want to do more than sit in
your bedroom playing Call of Duty and watching PornHub.
Accepting that rejection is entirely normal and happens to everyone is
the first step. Hard though it may be to believe, every man no matter
how good looking, built, rich, or famous he may be has experienced
rejection at some point in his life. A friend of mine is a tall, handsome,
Ivy League-educated man who works on Wall Street. On the checklist
marked “Things Women Want,” he scores highly, yet women still turn
him down often enough.
Look up the news reports about Arsenal player Alexis Sanchez and
Camila Andrade (a former Miss Chile) to see that even high-profile
athletes face rejection too. In the dating market, there are simply too
many variables and too many hidden agendas for anyone to ever
achieve a 100% success rate.
Unfortunately, an intellectual understanding of this doesn’t help
much when you’re at a bar, you’ve had a drink, and you’ve
summoned up the courage to approach that pretty girl beside the DJ
box, only for her to screw up her face, give you the hand, and then
laugh about you with her friends as you sidle off defeated. Sadly,
contemporary manners being what they are, this kind of harsh
brushoff happens all too frequently.

How do you deal with such an encounter? Or, worse, how do you
prevent the fear of such an encounter stifling you and making you too
nervous to approach in the first place? Having spent some time
analysing the roots of my own fear of rejection, I believe the answer is
that you should aim to cultivate an attitude of positive self-interest .
Fear of rejection comprises a number of discrete fears, the foremost of
which is probably that you’re not good looking or sexy enough for her
(and so by extension won’t be for anyone else), but there is also the
fear that in the very act of approaching you will upset her and any
bystanders—that your behaviour will be deemed gauche.
There is the fear that what you say won’t be clever enough to impress
her and her friends. There is the fear that the clothes you are wearing
won’t be fashionable enough for her taste or that your haircut won’t
meet with her approval. On a base level, you are afraid that if you
don’t measure up to whatever arbitrary standards she might hold this
will be confirmation that you are not fit to reproduce and that your
genes will soon be mercilessly weeded out of existence. Further, you
are also wary of possible physical reprisals from other members of her
tribe.

Have you noticed how every fear I’ve listed above relates to her
opinion of you? When you walk away with that terrible sinking
feeling after a rejection, it is to a large degree because you are
disappointed that you have been assessed and found wanting. You
have not measured up to her standards. In effect, you are upset
because you have disappointed her .
It is precisely this thinking that you need to reverse. Most men expend
too much energy thinking about how they can please women (and
employers, business contacts, and others too). Instead, they should
concentrate first on pleasing themselves.
How might this work in practice? In the end, most situations are
binary. You either get what you want or you don’t. If you go to a
nightclub with the desire of meeting a woman for a one-night stand,
that desire will either be met or not. There really isn’t a middle
ground. You must focus all your mental energies solely on the outcome
you desire and judge everything only by whether or not that outcome
is achieved, not on what people think of you.

For example, say you approach a group of three girls and start
speaking to the most attractive one, but she rebuffs you, and all her
friends laugh. The only important piece of data to take away is that
you didn’t get laid. Nothing else matters. Her rudeness and her
friends’ laughter are irrelevant white noise.
You have to be tough with yourself emotionally at first, but when you
place your own positive self-interest firmly above what other people
think of you you’ll be surprised how quickly the sting of rejection
disappears.
Your only concern should be what you did or didn’t get out of an
interaction. Whether or not you lived up to whatever arbitrary
standards she happened to have is irrelevant.

The truth is that we live on a densely populated planet where there is

no such thing as consensus. Even if 99% of all women think you’re ugly,
that still means that there are millions of woman in the world who
would give you a shot. You just need to find them. Even if 99% of
people think your business is a failure, you still have more potential
customers worldwide than you could ever hope to service. For this
reason, you should never worry too much about the opinion of a
single individual. Instead, you should focus on what you want and
commit to attaining it.
By and large, violent reprisals for minor social faux pas are rare, so
you can afford to make mistakes and be a little goofy when you speak
to people. What you must do is develop positive self-interest, decide
on what you want, and commit to making that your central focus.
This is actually a very alpha behaviour. Do you really think the jerk in
the bar cares if people see him get blown out by a girl? Do you really
think Richard Branson cares that people think he’s an idiot because
Virgin Clothing failed?
Of course not. They’re too focused on their own paths. Remember that
whenever you attempt anything you will get feedback from the world.
Much of it will be negative, and a little will be positive. It’s irrelevant.
What you must do is develop mental toughness, nurture your self-
interest, note simply whether you’ve won or lost, and block out
everything else.
In time, your fear of rejection will diminish until it’s a barely
discernible hum in the background.
 [26]

3 Proven Ways to Stop Obsessive

Thoughts

IF YOU ARE THE ANALYTICAL TYPE, it is likely that you will have
experienced obsessive thoughts more than once in your life. Perhaps
these were about a particular girl that you liked (“oneitus”), or maybe
they were about something your boss said to you or around a sporting
event in which you wish you’d performed better.
Whatever the subject matter, if you find that thoughts keep repeating
themselves in your head, or if you keep returning to the same mental
scenario trying to find a different way around it in vain, you need to
snap out of it. Obsessive thoughts are exhausting, drain your brain of
the RAM necessary to tackle more important issues, and generally
have an adverse effect on the quality of your life. Luckily, a few
simple hints will help you to keep the problem under control.
For many mental health professionals, obsessive thoughts are a
symptom of anxiety just as much as physical symptoms, such as
nervous tics, sleeplessness, and sweating. If you are given to
“catastophising” when you give in to obsessive thought (that is,
imagining the very worst outcome possible in a given situation), you
must realise that what your mind is telling you is the result of a
condition and is therefore not necessarily objectively “true.”
It is a mixed blessing that our brains are extremely powerful
instruments that are able to fabricate the most dire and inordinate
consequences from the smallest of triggers. Thus, if you think you
might have left the gas on, you will then imagine your house being
burned down, your financial and insurance documents going up in
smoke, and important property from your company being damaged,
leaving you penniless and sleeping under a bridge, doing card tricks
(or worse) for cash to survive. If you want to elaborate further, you
may then imagine picking up a disease and dying horribly of it in the
street.
Of course, none of this is in any way close to the reality of the
situation. It is a spiral of fantasy that the obsessive thinker allows
himself to get into, partly because such a downward spiral of thought
can be oddly addictive and compelling, producing a trancelike state in
the sufferer.
If you find yourself entertaining similar patterns of thought, you need
to strike back with evasive action to seize control again.
1. Identify the distortions in your thinking
First, monitor your thinking at all times, and be aware when it is not
presenting facts or situation as they really are.
In The OCD Workbook, Bruce M. Hyman, Ph.D. and Cherry Pedrick,
RN list the following ways in which obsessive thinkers can warp
reality when they fixate on a particular person or situation.

•Overestimating risk, harm, and danger

•Overcontrol and perfectionism
•Catastrophizing
•Black-and-white or all-or-nothing thinking
•Persistent doubting
•Magical thinking
•Superstitious thinking
•Intolerance of uncertainty
•Overresponsibility
•Pessimistic bias
 •“What if” thinking
•Intolerance of anxiety
•Extraordinary cause and effect

If any of these sound familiar, you should take note and realise that
your thinking may well be at fault. Simply by recognizing this
intellectually, you will do much to quell the tide of unhelpful thought
and speculation.
2. Accept and know that it will pass

As with many things in life, once you have identified that your
thinking is obsessive and out of control, accept that this is the case.
Don’t try to fight it immediately. Just realise that you are prone to a
very common phenomenon, and don’t give yourself a hard time.
Accept, too, that obsessive patterns of thought can be difficult to
break. Cut yourself some slack.
In accepting these faulty thought patterns, you should also take some
solace from the notion that “this too shall pass.” On average, I will
think really obsessively about something for maybe two or three days
at the maximum. After that it will lose something of its sting, and my
mind will slowly move on to other things. No matter how bad things
seem at the moment, it will get better naturally in time.
3. Change your physical state

A great way to break the pattern of obsessive thoughts is to change

your physical state. The most obvious and effective way of
accomplishing this is through exercise. Going out for a run or going to
the gym for a weights session will help no end. The endorphins that
exercise introduces into the body are great for breaking up unhelpful
thought patterns and offering a new perspective.
Another technique that is very powerful is being in water, which
could mean swimming but a jacuzzi or a plunge pool is great too.
Saunas and steam rooms can also help. There is something about
changing the elements around the body that seems to have a deep
effect on the way thought patterns emerge and progress.
4. Substitute

Don’t leave this one to chance. What you should plan to do is have a
substitute thought ready to focus on when what you’re trying not to
dwell on enters your mind.
For example, I was once involved in a legal dispute. For days, the
particulars of the case would keep coming into my mind, and I would
imagine all possible consequences of this or that eventuality, which
was all a complete waste of brain RAM, since I can’t accurately guess
exactly what is going to happen in the future any more than anyone
else.
When I found out about this concept of substitution, I resolved that
whenever the case came into my mind I would substitute it with the
thought “I’m on holiday” and would dwell instead on the more
positive fact that it was nearly Christmas, and I was indeed on
vacation.
While this can be tricky to do effectively at first, once you’ve practiced
a few times, you’ll find that the mind shifts more easily away from the
pattern you want to avoid.
5. Keep Busy

Perhaps the most effective way of avoiding obsessive thoughts is

simply to focus on something else. Ideally, this should be challenging
and involved enough to “turn your head off” from the other subject,
at least for the duration of the time you’re working on it. Anything
sufficiently engrossing will do, from designing, writing, or playing to
composing music, learning a language, or building a website.
The other advantage of this approach is that you will actually be
doing something constructive. Rather than focusing on the uncertain,
which you can’t control, you are instead working on something that
should give you satisfaction and will thus increase the objective
quality of your life.
 [27]

The Biggest Hindrance to Success

With Women Is Ego

WHAT IS THE MAIN THING that stops most men from going out,
meeting a cute girl, and taking her home on the same night for sex?
Here are a few clues:
•It’s not that they’re not good looking or good looking enough
•It’s not that they don’t have enough money
•It’s not that they’re not jacked
•It’s not that they’re not funny enough
The main thing that stops men from getting laid with greater ease and
efficiency is themselves .

Yes, you read right.

Men who are otherwise attractive to women and who should be
pulling all the time constantly trip themselves up in the field. How?
They let their egos get in the way.
I want to let you in on a secret that has been the cornerstone of my
game for nearly a decade. If you were to apply this perfectly (and
trust me, no one can), I guarantee you would see you results with
women increase exponentially:
The more you kill your ego, the more sex you will get.
Sounds simple on the surface? Actually, it needs a little unpacking.
After all, aren’t we always told that self-improvement is the key to
game? That getting your style sorted and your finances in good shape,
and going to the the gym and developing high self-esteem and being
“high value” are all an essential part of being attractive to women?
And that arrogance and other so-called “dark triad” traits are key to
exciting young women?
Yes, it’s all true. To be truly successful with women, you need to
cultivate a duel operating system of both high self-esteem and rock-
bottom ego.
Self-esteem is about acknowledging and being proud of your
accomplishments and of the accomplishments you are working hard
to achieve. Ego, on the other hand, is that kind of hollow, baseless
pride that people puff themselves up with—think, for example, of a
hot girl who dropped out of college but who has 100k Instagram
followers. The first is healthy. The second will not service you in the
long term.
What do I mean? Let me give you an example. Perhaps you’re
walking down the street and a beautiful, tall, slender girl with long,
luscious hair and a short skirt comes towards you. She is really sexy—
exactly your type. What do you do?

If you are a beginner, you will probably do nothing. After all, she’s
really hot, but you’re afraid to approach for fear that if she rejects you
you’ll be crushed.
If you are an experienced guy with a number of high-quality notches
under your belt, you may still do nothing. Why? Because you’re afraid
that if you approach and she rejects you, your status as a “player” will
be compromised, in your own head at least.
In this way, both inexperienced and experienced men lose out. New
guys aren’t successful enough to arm themselves with the confidence
to act. They feel, understandably, that if they approach a woman she
is likely to react badly, and that this will hurt. In practice, they might
well be right, but what do they have to lose?

At the root, their real reason for not approaching is about protecting
their egos. After all, it’s far, far easier to make excuses, not do
something, and then fantasize about how you could have succeeded
than put yourself on the line and risk failure.
It’s almost worse in the case of experienced men. Those who have
learned game, particularly those who are involved with the
manosphere or PUA communities in some way, perhaps through
commenting on forums or websites or writing blogs or even books on
pickup, tend to become strongly personally invested in the idea of
being master pickup artists.
Think about it for a second. If your whole personality is based on the
belief that you are “good with girls,” you will do anything you can to
maintain that belief because if you fail you will have to rethink your
whole persona.
In essence, both men are sabotaging themselves. Why? Because the
more women you approach, the more likely you are to end up having
sex. I’m not saying that it’s entirely a numbers game—there are
definitely things you can do to improve the quality of your approach
—but in the end, you still have to rack up the numbers. There are no
shortcuts. That’s why the successful man approaches all the time.
All of us need to do one thing right now: extinguish for good the voice
of that smooth player in our minds smirking at our fumbled
approaches, our poor eye contact, and those awkward conversations
that happen when we are tired. These things happen to everyone.
One of the difficulties in learning game is that those who teach it don’t
talk much about rejection, or if they do, it is as a footnote to far more
impressive tales of one-night stands and threesomes pulled straight
out of the club. I’m as guilty of this as anyone else. Successful pulls,
the more impressive the better, are the meat and drink of online
forums and YouTube videos.
Understand this, though, that no one is successful on every approach.
The reason that professional pickup artists appear more consistently
successful than average is simply because they all have a system that
complements their personality, and they all approach a great number
of women.
Forget perfectly executed pickups, forget witty, note-perfect
conversations, forget seamless escalation. Forget what you read on the
Internet and are scared to emulate in case you fall short. Understand
that pickup is messy and unpredictable for one simple reason. It is
about interacting with random strangers whom you know nothing
about to say nothing of the myriad variables created by your own
constantly changing state. It’s like this for everybody. No one is
perfect, so kill the specter of James Bond that sits on your shoulder
and judges you every time you speak to a girl.
Whether experienced or not, men need to be easier on themselves.
Realize that in the end game is simply initiating contact and then
pushing forward through a predetermined sequence to sex—
escalation, in other words.
Leaving escalation aside, let’s concentrate on the first stage. Your job
as a man is simply to initiate contact with women. To be successful,
you need to do this with as many women as possible. There’s a dirty
secret in pickup: the men who get the most sex are also the men who are
rejected the most.
Rejection isn’t a catastrophe. In fact, if you are opening women all the
time, every day, in time you will barely notice it. Remember that all
you need do is initiate contact, which could be as straightforward as
saying hello in a coffee shop. Wait and see how she reacts. If she blanks
you, move on. Nothing has been lost, and thousands of friendlier girls
are available.
If she is warm and friendly, great. Chat with her and try to escalate,
either by taking her on an instant date or by getting her number and
then gaming her through text for a subsequent meeting.

It really is that simple. Never feel that you have to do anything flashy
to get women. You don’t. If you put yourself in enough social
situations, you will see in time that you can succeed even with the
lamest “game.”
Below are six practical steps for killing James Bond and approaching
more girls:

1. Have a very clear idea of what is fantastic about you.

Wherever you are in your life, there will be things about you that are
amazing. You need to remind yourself of them on a daily basis. For
example, perhaps you run 10k every day. Perhaps you work for an
hour on your online business every morning. Perhaps you meditate or
designate a certain amount of time for challenging reading. Perhaps
you are losing weight and shifting a couple of pounds a week. Write
down a list of great things about you, pin them up somewhere where
you can see them, and read them out loud every morning before you
go out. Begin each one with “I am fantastic because . . .”
2. Put a smile on your face
It’s an old self-help trick, but it works very well. However you are
feeling, when you leave the house, fix a big smile on your face. Do it
so that your cheeks hurt. For the first few minutes, it will feel odd, but
after a while you’ll feel yourself relaxing into it, and the smile will
become genuine. You will also notice people around you responding
more positively to you, and as you feel more positive in turn, those
who don’t won’t phase you.
3. Approach all the time
Guys, girls—old or young—it doesn’t matter. Talk to everyone. Have
mini conversations with shopkeepers, people on the street, cops,
cleaners, whoever. Become “that guy” who is social with everyone.
Not only will this get you warmed up and used to social interactions,
but it will also mean that when you come to talk to an attractive girl it
won’t seem so important. Your sense of abundance will grow
exponentially when you realise just how many friendly people are
around. Some of the most successful men I know do this every day.
You should too.
4. Turn the Dial Down on Your Expectations
When you approach a cute woman, don’t expect too much. You have
reframed. You are no longer a supercool, master PUA. You are not
James Bond. You are simply a social guy who loves to talk to people.
If she’s not down for that, fine. Someone else will be waiting just
around the corner. If she is receptive, great. Try escalating and see
where it goes. Just don’t feel you need to live up to some self-imposed
standard of pickup mastery that has no basis in reality.
5. Congratulate Yourself on Small Achievements
Imagine you go up to the hottest girl in the nightclub and say hi, and
she tells you to fuck off. Great! Congratulate yourself. You have just
done something that the vast majority of other men would never ever
have the courage to do. OK, so it went badly. Perhaps there is
something you can learn, some adjustments that you can make, but
overall think well of yourself, as you are taking action and working
towards a goal. Smile, pat yourself on the back, and move on to the
next girl.
6. Realize You Have Nothing to Lose by Approaching
In the vast majority of cases, an interaction that isn’t going to go
anywhere is over very quickly. Perhaps you approach a girl and she
tells you she has a boyfriend or that she’s not interested. Fine. Now
you can move on. You have lost nothing except a few seconds of your
time.
Realise, though, that the opportunity cost of not approaching can be
significant. I have approached girls who haven’t so much as looked at
me, let alone given me positive signals, and ended up having sex or
relationships with them. It happens every day.

So the next time you’re out and you’re afraid to approach for fear of
denting your ego, remember that you simply never know what’s
going to happen when you walk up, and believe me when I tell you
that the rewards can be great.
 [28]

The Importance of Consistency

For Male Success

WHETHER YOUR AIM IS TO GET LAID, get fit, or start your own
business, the single most important trait you should strive to develop
is consistency. Not only is consistency the key to success in every area
of your life, but it is also one of the core elements of masculinity.
First, let me set out precisely what I mean by consistency and what I
don’t. The dictionary definition of the word the way I’m using it is as
follows:
A steadfast adherence to the same principles, course, form.
“Principles, course, form”—results, you notice, are not mentioned.
This is absolutely key. You need to be consistent in your actions.
Results will follow but in their own time. You can’t force them. Your
focus should always be solely on putting in the right action every day,
i.e., consistently carrying out the same actions in pursuit of a clearly
defined end goal. What you shouldn’t do is try to jump straight to the
goal itself. This is counterproductive, and any success you do happen
to achieve will be short term and illusory, built on flimsy foundations.
When men come to the manosphere, it is usually because they are
unhappy with some element of their lives, frequently their success
with women. They discover a community of men who are interested
in self-development and are actively working to improve themselves.
Excited and inspired, the less consistent will join expensive gyms and
hit them up for a month or so, or they go out and approach three or
four women before giving up and returning to the comfort zone of
their bedrooms. Despondent, they will then rationalize that game
doesn’t work or that self-development doesn’t work and isn’t for them
before sinking into a depression even lower than before. This, of
course, is fundamentally the wrong way to approach anything.
In part, this pattern is undoubtedly due to cultural influences. We are
now inundated with articles on how the Internet has an adverse effect
on our concentration spans. Whether or not you accept this view is up
to you (I'm ambivalent), but coupled with an emphasis on quick and
easy fame and “success” through reality TV and cheap celebrity, it is
undeniable that the message being sent out is that you don’t have to
work hard or consistently to achieve your goals. This is entirely false.
In fact, the formula for success in any endeavour is as follows:
Consistency + momentum = success
Consistency itself creates momentum, but you need to work.
Let’s take meeting women as an example. If your aim is to improve
your sex life—perhaps meet many women or find a girlfriend—then
take a minute to work out how many women you have approached
this week. Many, some, or none? Perhaps you alternate between a
high number of approaches on the weekend and none during the
week. Or perhaps you steeled yourself to make that one big daygame
approach and it went badly, so then you retreated into yourself afraid
to try again.
If you want to get really good with women and achieve a lasting skill
set, you should make your habits consistent. Decide on a realistic
number of girls you can hit on per day, and stick to it. Create a
spreadsheet recording each girl’s name, the date of the approach, her
contact details (if you get them), a description of her, and a brief note
on how the encounter went. Not only will this help you keep track of
your various prospects, but it will also spur you on. Because every
time you approach, regardless of how it goes, you know that you can
fill in another row on your spreadsheet. Make that the goal rather than
pulling the girl. Why? Because the best way to achieve consistency is
to learn to love the process and to let go of the result.
When you operate in this way, you will find that slowly, over time,
you will make incremental gains. Some of your approaches may be
horrible. You might say something stupid or not open strongly
enough and have the girl ignore you. It doesn’t matter. Log it on your
spreadsheet anyway, and go on to the next one. You will start to feel
great satisfaction in watching the sheet fill up and knowing that you
are working hard to better yourself regardless of your results. This
will strengthen your consistency. Over time you will see your
interactions improve exponentially.
And time in the trenches is very important. Andrew Robinson, author
of Sudden Genius? The Gradual Path to Creative Breakthroughs, writes:
“Psychologist John Hayes in 1989 [discovered a rule] soon endorsed by other
psychologists . . . that a person must persevere with learning and practicing a
craft or discipline for about 10 years before he or she can make a
breakthrough. Remarkably few breakthroughs have been achieved in less than
this time.”
Einstein’s first insights into relativity were in 1895, ten years before his
Theory was published in 1905. Stravinsky’s The Rite of Spring was
written in 1912, a decade after his apprenticeship to Rimsky-Korsakov
in 1902. Picasso’s Les Demoiselles d’Avignon appeared in 1907, ten years
after he began training as an artist in Barcelona. This is not to suggest
that it will take you ten years to get laid with a cute girl. Far from it.
But genuine mastery in any discipline takes real time, effort, and
application.
For a contemporary sporting example, look at the way Kobe Bryant
trains. Kobe has won five NBA championships, two Olympic gold
medals, and has a net worth of more than $200 million. How did he
attain this impressive level of success? Through consistent, focused
practice. According to one trainer, he would begin conditioning work
at 4:30 a.m., run and sprint until 6:00 a.m., lift weights from 6:00 a.m.
to 7:00 a.m., and then make eight hundred jumps shots between 7:00
a.m. and 11:00 a.m.—all before official Team USA practice!
If this sounds intimidating, that is entirely understandable, but realize
at the same time that it is Kobe’s near-crazy work ethic and
consistency that has put him where he is today. Don’t let stories about
hard work put you off. If anything, they should inspire you. Why?
Because you can work hard too.

Mark Cuban, billionaire owner of the Dallas Mavericks, has this to

say:
“In sports, the only thing a player can truly control is effort. The same
applies to business. The only thing any entrepreneur, salesperson or anyone
in any position can control is their effort.”
The same goes for meeting women, getting jacked in the gym,
becoming a better writer, or any other endeavour you can imagine,
and the way to maximize the effort you make is to consistently put in
the right action on a daily basis.
Last year I wrote a novel. Every morning I would get up at 5:00 a.m.
before work and write for ninety minutes before showering, putting
on my suit, and heading off into the corporate wasteland. I would also
write in the evening and on weekends. Some writing sessions were
terrible. My prose would be clichéd, stilted, and lifeless. No matter. I
just kept tapping away at the keyboard, filling up pages with words.
My only aim was to get to the end. Finally, I finished. I read it back. I
had a novel that contained some terrible passages, some okay
passages, and a few that I was very happy with. A long period of
editing and rewriting fixed the flaws, and while it’s still work in
progress, I now have a book that I’m proud of. But it didn’t happen
overnight. It was born out of daily work, which created incremental
improvements over a long period of time.
Visualize whatever it is you want to achieve and then work out how
you’re going to do it. Break the process down into small chunks, and
then do something every day that will get you a little closer to your
goal. Don’t think too much about the endgame. Simply congratulate
yourself on taking action today. After a while, you will find that you
are building up momentum and enjoying the process.
If you have a bad day—perhaps you get rejected by everyone in the
club—so what? Don’t sweat it. You’re doing this every day. There will
be natural peaks and troughs. Tomorrow may be better. Keep going
no matter what. In time you will see your technique improve.
Perhaps your conversations with girls will last longer or you will start
getting makeouts, phone numbers, or the occasional bang. These
successes will spur you on and encourage you to take more action.
You will enter a virtuous cycle. Most importantly, you will start to feel
that true inner contentment and happiness that comes from working
on getting good at something that is important to you rather than the
shallow, illusory happiness that is offered to us by modern culture.
 [29]

And The Downsides of Too Much

Consistency

IN MOST CULTURES, consistency is a highly regarded quality. Those

who don’t demonstrate it through their behaviour and interactions
with others are often thought unreliable and suspicious. It is also
common for men to castigate women for displaying inconsistency, for
example, when they agree to go on dates and then flake or fail to
return phone calls and texts.
We shouldn’t forget that women, having had access to magazine
articles and advice from their friends since childhood, are masters at
the dating game. While their behaviour may seem frustrating, in their
apparent inconsistency they are simply advancing their own agendas
in the sexual marketplace, and there is something to be said for this
practice. By learning to be a little less consistent, men can achieve
better results in dating, business, and even exercise.
At first glance, this idea seems entirely counterintuitive. Consistency
—by which we generally mean having values and ways of doing
things and sticking to them—seems a fine masculine ideal. Surely
there can be nothing wrong with staying true to a predetermined
course of action.
In a meta sense, this is true. If it is your aim to become a great tennis
player, you should practice every day and do everything in your
power to ensure you attain that end goal, but it is at the micro level
where unthinkingly maintaining habits that may not be beneficial can
be harmful. In his book Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion, Robert
B. Cialdini refers to a famous quote by the American essayist Ralph
Waldo Emerson:
“A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, adored by little
statesmen and philosophers and divines. With consistency a great soul has
simply nothing to do. He may as well concern himself with his shadow on the
wall.”
The quote is well known, but Cialdini points out that the word
“foolish” is the most important—and most overlooked—in it.
Consistency in terms of long-term goals is important and valuable.
What is less useful is a slavish dedication to unexamined habits or
procedures that actually do little to further your ambitions.
In some cases, consistency can actually be damaging to your results
with women because if you are not constantly evaluating and
tweaking what you do you run the risk of ingraining bad habits rather
than developing useful ones that actually get you telephone numbers,
dates, and sex. This is true whether you are looking for a relationship
with a girl or simply want to play the field for a while.
In London, where the daygame scene is very active, there is a well-
known case of a guy who has done more than three thousand cold
approaches on the streets and in coffee bars, malls—just about
everywhere. From all of these interactions, he has achieved only a few
phone numbers (several of them fake), no dates, and not even a single
kiss much less sex or a girlfriend.
While it would be difficult to fault his consistency, after all, it takes a
certain dogged determination to rack up that many approaches,
particularly in the face of almost unanimous rejection, clearly it has
proved singularly unhelpful in helping him achieve his goal of
achieving intimacy with a woman. This is an extreme example, but
let’s consider how an element of inconsistency can help with game.
Many years ago I worked in the cloakroom of a big nightclub in
Manchester in the north of England. Each week a girl used to come in
—we’ll call her Lisa—whom I was genuinely attracted to. Given that
this was in my “chode” days before I’d learned about game, I had
very little in the toolbox to attract her. I did, however, flirt with her as
best as I could, and I even asked her out a few times, only to get shot
down with the “I’m not interested in seeing anyone at the moment”
excuse.
Because she visited every week and I made my interest apparent each
time, there was a deadly consistency to my actions that killed any
hope of spark or attraction. I became “that guy at the club” who
fancied her, presumably along with many others. By politely rejecting
me but remaining friendly, she had put me into the safe category of
beta orbiter.
Or so she thought. Unintentionally, by injecting some inconsistency
into our relationship, I was able to create attraction and finally get her
into bed.
At risk of being fired from the cloakroom in a management shakeup, I
sought work elsewhere and became a barman in a very fashionable
place just down the road. This meant that my weekly (and weak)
attempts at seducing Lisa were halted instantly. It also meant that I
came into contact with a great many other attractive girls.

Manchester is quite a small city, and it was perhaps inevitable that I

would run into Lisa again. When she realised that I was working at
the bar, she began visiting frequently and hanging around to chat to
me on my shift. Impressed by the other girls who were around me
these days and perhaps a little by my improved status as a barman,
she made it clear that she was now interested, and we began dating.
I’m not denying that other factors were involved in my finally getting
together with Lisa, not least of which are social proof and jealousy,
but it’s also undeniable that it was only when I broke the consistency
of my strategy for getting her (weekly flirtation) and replaced it with a
different, albeit unintended strategy that I got the result I wanted.
Men will frequently ask me why they are not meeting the quality of
women they would like. In almost all cases, it is because they have not
been willing to change some aspect of their game or presentation that
isn’t working for them, be it their appearance, their approach, the way
they speak, or the way they hold eye contact. Or it may simply be that
they are approaching game and life in too regimented a manner and
are afraid to inject a little randomness into their modus operandi.
If you don’t feel you are getting what you want in any area of life,
don’t be afraid to try something entirely new. Add inconsistency and
randomness into the mix just to see what happens. If things don’t go
entirely your way, so be it. Try something else instead. Whatever you
do, though, don’t be someone who does things by rote just because
you feel safe that way and don’t need to worry about what others
might think.
Truly great men take risks and experiment. As Emerson finished up
by saying:
“Speak what you think now in hard words, and to-morrow speak what to-
morrow thinks in hard words again, though it contradict every thing you
said to-day. — ‘Ah, so you shall be sure to be misunderstood.’ — Is it so bad,
then, to be misunderstood? Pythagoras was misunderstood, and Socrates,
and Jesus, and Luther, and Copernicus, and Galileo, and Newton, and every
pure and wise spirit that ever took flesh. To be great is to be misunderstood.”
 [30]

Why In Game You Should Act

Before Knowing What The
Outcome Will Be

IT IS WELL DOCUMENTED that as men we are very logical beings.

While not necessarily averse to risk, many of us would prefer to weigh
the pros and cons of a given situation to make a proper risk analysis
before taking action. When meeting and attracting women, however,
and in wider aspects of life, this isn’t always possible or even
desirable.
In his recent book World Order, Henry Kissinger notes that political
decisions “must be made before it is possible to know what the
outcome may be.” This philosophy is equally effective in game.

We all like certainty and to know where we are in any given scenario,
but if you want to get good at game, you have to approach a great
many women. There’s no easy way around it, and in doing so, you
will quickly learn that there is no such thing as certainty. Every part of
the interaction is subject to her whims as well as a myriad of other
external influences.
For example, when you walk up to a girl, tap her on the shoulder, and
start talking, you have absolutely no idea whether she’s going to be
receptive or not. If the conversation goes well and you whip out your
phone to take her number, you have no clue whether she will give it
to you or refuse.
When you meet her for a drink, at some point you will go in for a kiss.
Will she allow it, or will she turn her cheek away? In each of these
instances, you are compelled to act—or lead—without having any
idea whether it will be efficacious or not.
It may not seem obvious, but the desire to know everything in
advance and to control events can mess up what otherwise might
have been a promising interaction. When we launch ourselves into
game, we soon realise that we are in a slipstream being buffeted about
by women and circumstances. This can feel uncomfortable, and it is
natural that we should seek the comfort of old certainties, but it is
only by pressing forward into uncertainty that we can expect to make
gains.
It my view, in modern Western cities, the key to game is flexibility
because essentially relegated to playing what Roosh V calls “clown
game,” we have little choice but to dance to the tune that women play
if we hope to get laid. In the entropic urban sprawl, girls with
differing agendas and schedules come and go. The canny player will
live entirely in the moment, ready to go along with the flow if that
particular flow is likely to lead to sex at the end of the night.
While walking through London some time ago, I came upon a pretty
Swiss girl, a tourist spending a few days here with her friends. I
approached her, and we started talking. It turned out that her friends
had abandoned her in a nightclub, and she was now walking around,
looking for somewhere to eat. It was quite late, and I wasn’t aware of
any restaurants still open in the vicinity. Still, I took her hand and told
her that we would go for food together. I then led her towards
Waterloo Bridge, talking the whole time.
I had no clue whether or not there would be a restaurant open when
we got to the other side of the bridge. What I did know was that my
apartment was in that general direction. In other words, I went with
the flow and took action, without any certainty of how things would
pan out. Luckily, the strategy paid off. When we reached the centre of
the bridge, we made out, and shortly afterwards all talk of food was
forgotten, as we took a taxi back to my place.

My intention in telling this story is not to brag but to illustrate my

point. Had I faltered and got hung up on the girl’s logical request,
there’s a good chance I would have lost the lay. As it was, I led her,
going with the flow and having no idea of how things might end up.
It could have been that faced with no McDonald’s and a long walk
back to her hotel, she would have slapped me round the face and
walked off into the night. By simply sticking with it, however, and
even though uncertain of the outcome of my strategy, I was able to
turn the situation around to my advantage.
If you want to achieve success with today’s girls, you have to be
prepared to take a leap of faith. If she suggests taking a cab across
town to a gig or calls you up late at night to meet her in a park near
her place (as happened to me with another girl a while ago), go with it
as long as it doesn’t conflict with anything else more important you
might have lined up to do.
I don’t mean that you should supplicate yourself and do anything she
wants, but I do mean that if you have made up your mind to get laid
you must commit to following events though to their conclusion.

You may not be quite certain how an individual scenario will turn out,
but don’t sweat it. Turn up anyway, and be confident in your ability
to handle whatever comes your way. You may not score every time,
but you will gain valuable experience that will help you in the future.
More often than not, though, you’ll be surprised. You don’t always
need a road map to reach the finish line.
 [31]

The Key To Success With

Women? Controlling Your
Emotions

WHEN A MAN GETS INTO GAME, it is natural that his first concern
is with the emotions of the women with whom he interacts. You spit a
bad line on your approach, and she’s angry. You tease her too hard,
and she gets upset. Or you settle into a relationship, but she is jealous,
and you fight.
In all these cases, the primary concern is the manner in which she
reacts to whatever you’re doing. “If I could only change the way she
feels,” the man thinks, reasonably enough, “Then all will be well.”
Regardless of what you want from your relationships, this is the
wrong way of looking at it. For a man to get good with women, it is
his own emotions that need to be controlled first, not hers.
The most common emotion that men encounter in cold approach
pickup is fear, anxiety, shame, and sometimes even depression. This,
as we all know, is rooted in what we call “approach anxiety.” You
spend hours reading tips on pickup on forums and websites, and then
when you steel yourself to actually try it you might get rejected rudely
or simply snubbed.
For obvious reasons, this creates a negative spiral of bad feelings. You
have put yourself on the line in the most fundamental way, and your
looks, height, style, demeanour, alpha status, or some combination of
all of them are found lacking. The cruel smack of the sexual
marketplace has shattered whatever ego protection you built up
beforehand.
It is little wonder that many men tiptoe over the line into approaching,
only to retreat again when the going gets tough to the safety of online
forums, where they can safely deny the efficacy of game in a mutual
circle jerk that achieves nothing.
Fear of approaching thus deters many men who could have gone on
to achieve success but who instead drop out of the market
prematurely, a clear example of a negative emotion having an adverse
effect on results.
Positive emotions, though, can equally upset one’s equilibrium. The
man who is on a good run in game can feel like he is flying. The effect
is literally narcotic because guys who go hard can end up sleeping
with a great many more women than they were designed to and
certainly more than their fathers or grandfathers ever did. This
releases adrenaline and dopamine into the system that can become
addictive over time.
Herein lies the dark side of game. The rush that follows a successful
approach or close is frequently replaced with moments of
meaninglessness, loneliness, and a general questioning of the whole
process. If a man has simply amassed a catalogue of one-night stands,
as pleasurable as these may have been, he might well find himself
pondering on the overall pointlessness of the whole endeavour. In this
instance, it is ironically a level of success that might encourage him to
quit, the ups and downs of the game proving too much for him.
As with all elements of life, an ability to marshal one’s own emotions
is what is important. This is not a self-help seminar, and I’m not here
to give you easy mantras or to be a cartoon cheerleader encouraging
you to go out and approach, but what I would say is that it is vital that
you consider the endgame every time you walk up to a girl or get
snubbed as you undoubtedly will from time to time.
Recognise that this particular approach, this particular girl doesn’t
matter so much in the overall scheme of things. Learn to view game as
a process. You come to it at a certain level and spend time building a
skill set, which in hand with application will lead to greater things.
You shouldn’t allow individual disappointments to get you down too
much.
If, though, you are finding the highs too high and the lows too low, I
would suggest that you should incorporate regular “time out”
sessions into your routine. One of the most important elements in my
life is a strong group of male friends. We get together frequently to
talk. Yes, women will come up in those conversations, but they range
much wider, taking in our respective ambitions, work lives, and hopes
for the future. It is the grounding influence of male friends that has
helped me through the emotional ups and downs that game almost
inevitably provides.
It is only when you have truly mastered your own emotions that you
will become the kind of man who is grounded and as such attractive
to women. Flightiness caused by untreated emotional disturbance is a
major turnoff for girls. If this is something you are experiencing a lot,
perhaps it is time to sit down and truly assess where you are going
and what you actually want from game and life itself.

While chasing women can be a lot of fun, it is no replacement for the

solid foundations that immersion in meaningful work and male
friendships engender. Disregard these at your peril.
 [32]

Why You Should Do Everything

With 100% Commitment

A SURE WAY FOR MEN TO FAIL at opportunities in life, business,

and with women is deciding on a course of action but not following
through with sufficient commitment. This is something you should
avoid if you want “deep” experiences that transcend the superficial.
Whenever you do anything, you should give it all you’ve got in that
moment to ensure that you live as a man in the most visceral,
meaningful way possible.
Last summer I travelled to the south of France to see a good friend of
mine get married. This man is more than aware of the concerns that
many men have about marriage. He is not naive and is fully cognizant
of the pitfalls that can befall the unwary. He has also been very
successful both in business and with girls.
Nevertheless, at the apex of his player days five years ago, he met a
girl who had all the characteristics he desired in a long-term partner—
good looks, of course, but also a sweet, feminine nature as well as
traditional values and the desire to raise a family. Wanting children
himself he proposed, and they hired a beautiful chateau in the French
countryside to tie the knot.
The ceremony was attended by his player friends from NYC as well as
a great many high net worth individuals from Europe and the U.S.
Throughout, dressed in a snappy velvet designer suit, my friend was
ebullient and played the role of the dashing bridegroom with
complete conviction.

When we talked about it afterwards, he had something interesting to

say.
“It’s not that I don’t have my doubts about marriage, Troy. Of course I do,
but I want a family, and I’ve chosen to stick with this girl. Now, things may
not turn out the way I want them to, sure, but you saw me up there making
my speech. I committed 100%. Even if you think that doubts may arise in the
future, to get the most out of life you should own everything you do entirely.
If you change your mind somewhere down the line afterwards, at least in that
moment you’ve experienced whatever it was on a deep level.”
I am only using my friend’s wedding as an example, but I think the
point holds good. If you’re going to do something, you might as well
do it like you mean it. You’ll get more out of the experience than if
you just go through the motions.
If you want to be a player, be a player. Go out as often as you can and
interact with as many girls as possible. If you like a girl and you get
into a relationship with her, have fun being her boyfriend, and don’t
get hung up on whether or not walking around theme parks hand-in-
hand wearing matching sweaters is “alpha.” If you want to start a
business, take a deep breath, commit, and give it everything you’ve
got.
In each of these scenarios, you should keep giving all you’ve got until
such time as you change your mind and decide to take another course
or until the situation for whatever reason becomes unworkable (e.g.,
your business goes bust or things turn sour with your girl).
This philosophy also holds good in game and in particular when you
first approach. I was recently talking to a coaching client who has had
difficulty meeting women for most of his life. He told me that he
normally approaches with an indirect opener, such as “Can you tell
me where the nearest Starbucks is,” and if he senses any interest on
her part, attempts to transition to a longer conversation.
Unfortunately, he has had little traction with this method up to now.

While I have no issue with indirect openers per se and have used them
successfully many times in the past myself, my impression was that
this man wasn’t committed enough to his approaches and was “letting
himself off the hook.”
Men (and women) generally want to avoid rejection, as it can be
painful and humiliating. One way of mitigating its sting is by
pretending to ourselves and to others that we weren’t really that
bothered in the first place.
Say you approach a girl, appear as though you’re not interested, and
she turns you down? Not important, right? You didn’t care anyway.
The problem with this strategy is that you don’t generally get a
reward without some risk. The romantic gestures that get girls excited
tend to be those where the man has put himself on the line. In simple
terms, this means that it is much more impressive—because it takes
more courage—to walk up to a girl in a crowded cafe, look her in the
eye, and tell her that you think she is hot than to ask her where the
soya milk is in the supermarket in the hope of this leading to
something more exciting.
Whether you go direct or indirect then, make sure that you walk up to
the girl with intent and that you communicate your masculinity (in
contrast to her femininity) through every aspect of your being from
the way you carry yourself (shoulders back, taking up a lot of space,
walking like a CEO) to strong eye contact, a deep voice, and slow
speech. The overall effect should be to make it obvious that regardless
of what is coming out of your mouth you want to have sex with her.
When faced with a confident man who sexually desires her, a girl is
either going to accept or reject him. So be it. Don’t be tempted to do it
halfway to let yourself off the hook. Make your interest plain, either
through what you say or with your body, and let her decide.
You may think that by not committing 100% to the approach you will
make things a little easier on yourself. Perhaps you’re right, but you
will also reduce your chances of getting that girl. So go to it, lay
yourself on the line, and let the chips fall where they may.
Life is often characterized by uncertainty, and it can often be difficult
to know whether or not we’ve made the right decision. Should you
leave the company you work for? Should you take that new job?
Should you move to Eastern Europe? Should you start your own
business or form a relationship with that particular girl? In each of
these cases, there are too many unforeseen variables to calculate
which call is the “right” one.
Instead of worrying, though, it is far better to embark on a course of
action and proceed with 100% commitment as though you are
absolutely certain that what you are doing is right. You should always
take advice, but beyond that, by committing to something entirely,
you will enjoy a far greater depth of experience than you would by
simply dipping your toe into the water without taking the plunge.
And remember that nothing is forever. If things don’t work out, you
can always change tack down the line.
 [33]

How Advice From Start-Up Culture

Could Take Your Game to the
Next Level

I RECENTLY READ Eric Ries’s best-selling book The Lean Startup.

First published in 2011, it has become something of a classic among
entrepreneurs and the denizens of Silicon Valley. It’s easy to see why.
Its pared back, simple approach to efficient innovation in business
provides a template from which many people forming companies
could learn a lot. As I was reading, it struck me that the lessons it
teaches could equally be applied to game.
Comparisons between game and business (and in particular sales)
have been made frequently before, but just as Ries’s book genuinely
brings something new to the table in commerce, so its application
could be far-reaching for those looking to improve their dating lives.
The Lean Startup is a detailed, well-written account of Ries’s
innovations as a business owner, of the early successes and
innovations of his tech company IMVU, which he steered from near
failure to stellar, multimillion dollar success. The method he outlines
feels revolutionary simply as it is so counterintuitive and opposed to
standard business practice.
In short, Ries counsels that the fledgling company should work in the
most efficient manner possible, ignoring the more lumbering
processes of the larger firms they might be tempted to copy. In
practice, this means rather than spending ages in development, you
should instead release a minimum viable product to market. In the book,
Ries describes releasing an early version of his interconnectivity
avatar product with bugs in it. This is against the grain of standard
business advice, as the normal practice would be to spend a long time
making the product the best it can be.
Ries argues that start-ups operate under conditions of extreme
uncertainty, especially in terms of what the customer actually wants.
After all, at the beginning there are no customers. So why waste time
and resource on tweaks when it could be that the entire product is not
popular with the market?
What you should do instead is continually test the product and refine
as you go along, which saves time, as it allows you to launch quicker,
and it also saves money, as you’re not testing beforehand, and means
that you are being responsive to the market rather than to your
preconceived notions of what should be successful.
The company must then “accelerate the feedback loop” for the new
product, measuring customer responses and then pivoting or
changing direction in response.
At first sight, this may not seem to have much to do with game, but
bear with me.
In a sense, every man who steps out onto the street to talk to girls or
who hits the club to do so is an entrepreneur. He’s taking his product
—himself—out to market and testing the response that it gets. Pickup,
like entrepreneurship, also operates within circumstances of extreme
uncertainty.
The problem is that many men want to perfect everything before they
go out and actually interact with girls. This leads to the problem of
what we call “mental masturbation,” which is a buffer that stops men
from getting results hiding beneath the garb of virtue. Men think that
by watching infield videos or reading online articles about game that
they are actually “doing” game. They’re not. Game only exists when a
man approaches a girl he likes and indicates that he likes her.
Everything else is foreplay, and solo foreplay isn’t very much fun.
Think about your dating life as it is now. Are you getting out into the
field, or are you simply making excuses for yourself and watching
endless videos, feeling that you could never do what those guys on
YouTube are doing?
If so, you should remember the lessons of Eric Ries.

Face it. You’re never going to be perfect, so there is no point in

waiting until some imaginary point in the future when your inner
game is all fixed, your money is sorted, and you have a Ferrari in the
driveway before you ask a girl on a date. What you should do instead
is start approaching girls and obtain direct feedback from the
marketplace.
An old game expression states “the field is king,” which means that
the only valuable feedback comes from those people you are seeking
to seduce—girls. So you can sit at home thinking you’re the world’s
greatest stud or biggest loser, but until you test that hypothesis you
don’t know for sure.
What you should do is go out whether or not you think you’re ready
and approach ten girls. They will give you a pretty good indicator of
where you are. If you collect three to five numbers, that’s great. If all
ten laugh in your face, you know you have a way to go.
Through careful, honest analysis of each interaction (try keeping a
journal or a spreadsheet to help with this, or even recording yourself
on a smartphone or Dictaphone), you’ll soon get a pretty good idea of
what needs to be done. At this point, you are in the measuring phase
of Reis’s model.
Next you pivot, that is, change the product or your approach
according to the feedback. Are you talking too fast or wearing bad
clothes? Or approaching in a city where the ratios are particularly
bad? Then switch up, go elsewhere, and try again. When you find
strategies that work, build on them, and make them fundamentals in
your repertoire.
Remember that game is not about being perfect the first time you
speak to a girl or even the thousandth time. It’s about having the
courage to step up to the plate, take negative feedback, and go back
into the fray stronger. Although aimed at business owners, The Lean
Startup reminds us of this simple principle in a clear, considered way.
 [34]

How to Use Your Natural

Horniness For a Great Daygame
Session

DAYGAME IS NOW FIRMLY ESTABLISHED as a discipline in its

own right, with gurus specialising in it and offering their own
particular take. In the UK, a group of men even espouse something
called the “London Day Game Model,” a set of principles and actions
designed to optimise one’s results while talking to girls in the street
and in malls and coffee bars.
While I can see that such categorisation makes it easier for men to
consume game material, the sheer quantity of which can appear
overwhelming at first, my own view is that while there are differences
in how best to approach sets in the day and night, you should
nevertheless view game as a holistic set of principles leading to a skill
set that can be used at any time of the day.
That said, last weekend I went on a daytime adventure in Berlin, cold
approaching twenty-five girls around the Kurfurstendamm shopping
district. Doing so, I was reminded how indispensable male horniness —
perhaps more usefully termed the male hunter instinct —is when one is
looking to meet women, prompting me to share some thoughts on the
topic here.
While you can get lucky in the daytime and meet a cute girl you hit it
off with straight from “Hello, can you tell me where the pet shop is?”
in general, what makes for a productive daygame session is many
approaches in a short space of time.

Berlin is the second-largest city in the EU, with 3.5 million residents
(after London, which has 8 million) and the Ku’damm is its busiest
shopping street. In a three-hour session, I was able to approach
twenty-five girls, collecting phone numbers and sometimes Facebook
profiles.
Received daytime wisdom dictates that the best results are to be found
in cities with a million or more residents. but wherever you find
yourself, ensure that there are sufficient targets so that you can burn
through a large quantity of sets as quickly as possible.
This isn’t intended to be a daygame instruction guide, but here’s a
quick rundown of the simplest workable method. Walk around,
concentrating in particular on those stores that are popular with cute
girls, such as Topshop, H&M, and Forever 21. When you see a lady
you like, approach her, ideally from the front.
Say “hello” with enough impact to stop her. Tell her that you think
that she looks very nice and make some observation about her.
Perhaps she’s wearing an interesting hat or looks a little like Selena
Gomez. Maybe she’s walking with exaggerated purpose, or perhaps
she’s ambling along like a sloth. Whatever it is, pick something out
and make a cheeky little joke about it so that she smiles.
Shake her hand and hold it for a little longer than necessary. Maintain
strong eye contact throughout. Transition the conversation to more
general topics, but ensure that you tease her lightly and remain both
challenging and a little mysterious. After a few minutes, tell her that
you have to meet your friends, but that you should meet up again.
Pass her your cellphone and tell her (don’t ask) to enter her number.
The above is a very brief summation of my method. Does it work
every time? No. Remember, though, that most well-known daygame
writers have calculated an 11% approach-to-notch success ratio.
Many times you will approach a girl and she will make an excuse and
move on without engaging with you, or she will claim to have a
boyfriend or raise some other objection. This doesn’t matter. Accept
that it’s part of the game and continue. Why? Because repetition and
momentum are your friends.
Repetition + Horniness = Success
In the early part of your daygame session, scoring phone numbers or
having great conversations is not the aim. Repetition is the aim. Why?
If you attend to the task with vigour and determination, you will find
that interacting with a succession of hot girls, even briefly, makes you
feel horny, and that horniness gives you impetus . The idea of
approaching suddenly becomes less of a chore and more a pleasure.
You recognise that it is only by approaching that you will have the
chance to sleep with one of these cute girls, which all of a sudden has
become a significantly more urgent desire. Your horniness has all of a
sudden been converted into momentum, which when it manifests
itself in game is incredibly powerful.
At the end of a good session, you will find that your energy levels are
high and conversations go more smoothly. Ideally, you will hit a
sweet spot where it feels like you can do no wrong and every girl you
speak to is drawn into your world and is unable to destabilise you
with various nonsense.
An example of momentum in action: In Berlin, I went out intending to
do ten street stops. At ten, I was just hitting my stride, so I decided to
carry on. When I hit twenty, I was getting phone numbers galore and
decided to continue to twenty-five. At the end of the session, I’d been
on an instant date with a cute French girl and had a number of solid
leads to follow up on my next trip to the city.
Whatever your particular approach to daygame, unless you happen to
get lucky very early in a session, you should always aim to complete a
large number of approaches. Not only is this great practice, forcing
you to come up with conversational gambits on the fly and
consequently sharpening your social skills, but it also has the effect of
increasing your levels of horniness, your hunter instinct and
testosterone, and improving your results as a direct result.
 Part III:
Outer Game & Techniques
 [35]

5 Reasons Why The Sceptics Are

Wrong And You Must Learn Game
Now

I AM ALWAYS CURIOUS WHY these days there are still game

sceptics out there—men for whom the idea of learning a few basic
principles to get better with women is an anathema. In part, this is no
doubt due to the extremely bad PR “game” has had over the years,
but in the current climate, for most men game is not only desirable but
also essential.
The writer Rosh V has posited that game is an essential tool that men
need to learn to navigate a world that appears increasingly hostile to
the average man. This is absolutely the case. Without game, men are
adrift, at the mercy of the vicissitudes of women and the vagaries of
chance. With a solid grasp of game and the discipline to implement it,
however, a man has the chance to take control of his destiny and
shape his life in a way that suits him.
One of the problems is that game has for too long been tarred with a
brush dipped in black eyeliner and wrapped in a feather boa by
Mystery. Today, though, game does not mean wearing a fuzzy hat,
doing card tricks, or regurgitating scripted lines and “routines.”
Rather, “game” is an umbrella term that refers to a holistic set of skills
running a gamut of self-improvement, from lifting weights to reading
books to developing better eye contact to becoming a great
conversationalist. These skills will not only help you become better
with women but also become a better man in general.

Below are five reasons why learning game today is not merely
optional but a definite requirement for men.
1. The Sexual Marketplace Is Getting Tougher
Social media and dating apps, such as Tinder, mean that women are
deluged with sexual options on a minute-by-minute basis in a manner
unequalled in all history. Whereas in, say, the eighteenth century it
would have been hard to pull the prettiest girl in the village because
the local landowner had his eye on her, today the same girl only has to
post a bikini shot on Instagram to get hundreds of “likes” in seconds
from thirsty guys.
Make no mistake. Sex is in good supply for most women, and you are
competing in a practically limitless marketplace. If you want a regular
sex life, you must acquire the necessary skills to ensure that you stand
out and demonstrate enough value to compete.
2. Other Guys Around You Are Acquiring Game Skills
Self-improvement for which “game” has to a large degree become a
synonym is no longer a niche affair. Look around and you will see
many men who take care of their bodies, have great style, and the
confidence and charisma acquired through a great social or business
network.
These men are maximizing their market value and, trust me, while
doing so are also getting laid. These are guys who haven’t even
necessarily learned techniques for getting women. Not only are you
competing with them for a piece of the pie but you are also pitting
your wits against the many, many others who have spent years
studying and refining methods to attract girls.
Not learning game puts you at a serious disadvantage in a field that is
becoming more, not less skilled.
3. Legislation Means That Men Without Game Are Increasingly
Penalised
The Alpha Male or—the man perceived as alpha, at least—tends to get
away with a lot more and be forgiven by women because “that’s just
the kind of guy he is.” I’m not advocating that you ever overstep the
line, and “no” always means no, but Western societies are becoming
ever more legislative over personal interactions.

In such a climate, the man who is deemed socially inadequate or

“creepy” will be censured and may find himself on the wrong side of
the law either in a divorce court or dealing with a harassment charge
or worse. Failure to learn game, a large part of which is about
developing social poise and calibration, could prove to be detrimental
to your freedom and your life in very fundamental ways.
4. Game Will Make You More Effective In Other Areas Of Your Life
Game requires discipline, and once you’ve gained discipline you can
apply it in other areas of your life. For example, if you work in
business, you will see that the rigour of consistently approaching girls
is analogous to following up sales leads for your company. The more
effective you become as a player, the more effective you will start to
get in your work life, as you will begin to utilize the same tools.

The other point is that when you are approaching attractive women
on a regular basis you will find it necessary and desirable to improve
yourself in many different ways, from getting a better body through
lifting weights to becoming better dressed and generally more
interesting through acquiring opinions on the world for something to
say. In this sense, an immersion in game will naturally help lift your
performance in other areas of your life.
5. Whatever You Are Looking For From Women, Game Will Help
You Achieve It
Not everyone is looking to board the notch carousel by bedding
hundreds of women, and endless sex for the sake of it is not to be
advised if it comes at the detriment of more important areas of your
life. If you do want to gain experience with a range of women,
however, before deciding on the longer term or if you simply want to
get a girlfriend, the principles you need to learn are the same.
Game is not merely for those who want to immerse themselves in
hedonic, decadent pleasure, but rather it is for anyone who wants to
have some control over the course of his sex life and his relations with
women, whatever character these may take.
 [36]

The One Girl You Absolutely Must

Approach Every Day

REGULAR READERS OF MY WRITING will be aware that I subscribe

to Roosh V’s formulation for making one solid approach to a girl I
have never met before. As Roosh states, approaching once a day is a
“keystone” habit that will inevitably lead to benefits beyond just sex.
What I want to explore here, though, is exactly which girl it is you
should be approaching. If you only have one bullet in the gun, so to
speak, it makes sense to ensure that it’s not wasted. On that basis, my
recommendation is that the girl you should approach today is the one
who tugs on your DNA most strongly.
If you have read any game writing at all, you will be aware that the
concept of “that one special girl” is an anathema to seasoned players
and a mind-set that you must avoid at all costs. When we speak of
“special girls,” we usually mean those females who men have put on a
pedestal and coveted for a long time, ending up in the dreaded friend
zone along the way.
To absolutely clear, I’m not advocating that you approach that girl
who works in the marketing department at your office every day.
That would be weird and very probably illegal. This is about cold
approaching new girls you’ve never met before.
I am not in any way implying that these DNA-tugging girls are any
more “special” objectively than any other girl. All of us are human, all
of us are flawed. A girl is just a girl, and we shouldn’t fall into bad
habits of thinking otherwise.

Here’s how it is for me. I live in London, a huge sprawling city filled
with a multitude of girls in their peak years (20s to early 30s)
studying, working, acting, dancing, blagging their way into
nightclubs, posting selfies onto Instagram, and doing everything else
girls in that demographic do.
Every day I walk to my nearest subway station and take three trains to
the central district where my office is located. During that journey
(and the equivalent journey home in the evening), I probably see
several hundred girls. I work near London’s Oxford Street, which, as
any daygamer worth his salt who’s been to the UK’s capital knows, is
the predominant locale for pussy panhandlers here.
Of those, let’s say five hundred girls who register with me on some
level, how many of them do I find bangable? Probably a great many.
How many do I find hot? A much, much lesser number—perhaps five
or six at most—and how many really move me on a base, DNA level?
Usually, one.
That’s right.

One.
Broadly speaking, I like pretty, skinny girls with long dark hair, but
within that designation is room for a great many different flavours. As
such, I like Italian girls, Polish girls, Spanish girls, Lithuanian girls,
African girls, Colombian girls, and a whole host of others in between.
But I also like girls with very distinct facial features—high
cheekbones, large eyes, a look that combines hauteur with a touch of
naiveté.
I like long legs, cute butts, and small breasts, but sometimes I like big
breasts too. I also like the way that certain girls carry themselves—and
this is where it all gets rather opaque and hard to quantify. I
sometimes like girls who stride along confidently, but I also like girls
with a certain extroverted diffidence.
Basically, what I’m attempting to express is in effect inexpressible
because try as you might to explain it rationally to another man, the
actual reasons for your strong attraction to this girl over that girl are
mysterious and probably not even fully apparent to you.
Nevertheless, I hope you understand what I’m getting at here. While I
pass many girls every day who are undeniably attractive (or “fit” as
we say in the UK), there are actually comparatively few who really get
to me. Normally, it’s just one a day. It is that girl that I must absolutely
100% approach.
For a number of reasons, I don’t always approach my hottie of the
day. Why not? Perhaps I am too busy. Perhaps we are headed in
different directions, and I don’t have time to deviate from my planned
route. Perhaps I am with someone else (for example, a work
colleague). Perhaps I only catch a glimpse of her before it is too late.
Perhaps I bottle out.
Whatever the reason, whenever I fail to approach one of these girls, I
will almost always experience a strong sense of regret afterwards.

Men’s regret over missed sexual opportunities has been written about
a lot over the years. It is something that we experience and women
don’t by and large. After all, sperm is cheap, men are expendable, and
women are genetically more valuable than we are, so why would a
girl get too upset about missing out with some random dude?
But there are girls I wish I’d approached from years ago that I still
remember to this day. Not because I imagine they were special
snowflakes or somehow “better” than any other girl, just that I was
drawn to them by a deep, biological urge to bang.
When I do approach her, though, the results are often surprising. It’s
worth noting that the approaches in which we are most invested
(because of our strong attraction to the girl) tend to be the most nerve
wracking, even for the experienced player, simply because it feels that
there is more to lose. Consistent daily approaching will reduce this
anxiety, without a doubt, but still, let’s acknowledge it as a “thing,”
since it is.
If you can overcome your fear and approach this particular chick you
think is especially hot, you will be amazed by how many times the
response you get will be more positive than that from an average girl
whom you’ve only walked up to for the practice.
Without getting superstitious about it, I believe we are particularly
attracted to certain girls for a reason. Our psychological antennae is
powerful, and we tend to be drawn most towards those with whom
we have the greatest synergy. As such, some of the sparkiest, most
sexual daygame approaches I’ve ever had have been with the girls I
would consider the hottest.
I also believe that my strong sexual desire for this particular girl
somehow insinuates itself into the interaction. She can feel it, she gets
turned on by it, and the whole thing is exciting for both of us. When
I’m doing a “by numbers” approach, the girl can sense it, and it isn’t
very much fun for either of us. It’s great to be cool when hitting on
chicks, but you’d be surprised how far a little genuine desire,
vulnerability, and even nerves can go in grounding your approach in
real emotion.
What you have to do, then, is simply feel the fear and do it anyway.
Don’t bother yourself with 5s and 6s “for the practice.” Instead, go up
to your 8.5s and 9s. For one thing, you don’t really have anything to
lose (a rejection is just a rejection whether it comes from the Queen or
a chambermaid), and I guarantee that you will frequently be
pleasantly surprised by the responses you receive. For another thing,
the incremental benefits I’ve observed from hitting on the girls you
want the most are well worth any temporary nervousness.
 [37]

Why It Is Essential To Adopt An

“Always On” Strategy For Your
Game

THE STATE OF THE CURRENT SEXUAL MARKETPLACE means

two things: competition is fierce, and you must maximise your
exposure to your target market (the girls you are interested in) to be
successful. A buzzword that has been popular in the marketing and
advertising industry for a number of years is “always on.” It is my
belief that if you want to beat the current market and pick up the
hottest girls it is imperative that you also develop an “always on”
approach.
First, let’s look at a definition of the term. Here’s one from a blog
written by Dave Chaffey of smartinsights.com in 2014:
Dynamic personalisation and structured testing and improvement of digital
experiences is a key feature of always on marketing, a term which has
emerged to show a change in emphasis from burst marketing campaigns to
generate awareness and response to investment in marketing activities
which continuously drive and meet changing demand. This is what
Google has called the Zero Moment of Truth. For always-on marketing to be
effective, efforts should be made to increase the effectiveness of different
[digital] channels through testing, review and optimisation.
This clearly refers to digital marketing efforts and is more than a little
pretentious, but if you cut through the verbiage, what Chaffey is
saying is that contemporary marketing has moved away from big,
discrete ad campaigns to continuous activity across many different
channels that is constantly tested and then tweaked to achieve the best
results.
As girls today are bombarded with sexual opportunities through their
social circle and approaches in real life as well as through the
omnipresent digital titans Facebook, Snap, Instagram, Tinder, and so
on, achieving cut-through in the market is increasingly difficult for
men, just as it is for advertisers trying to sell to increasingly
fragmented audiences.
In this way, given that the challenges you face on the dating scene are
analogous to those faced by brands trying to shift product, it makes
perfect sense that you should adopt a marketing strategy that is
popular with these same huge corporations.
Since the days of The Game by Neil Strauss, the study of pickup has
become increasingly polarized, with specialists popping up claiming
expertise in many niche areas. Broadly, these include night game
(pulling in clubs and bars), daygame (e.g., meeting girls during the
day in the street, coffee shops, galleries, public transport), and online
game (dating sites and apps). There are also strands concerning social
media game, social circle game, and so-called entourage game.

In actual fact, these disciplines aren’t as wildly different as their

exponents claim. In the endgame, everything simply comes down to
the key elements of attraction, vibing, hook point (female-to-male),
comfort, and escalation. That’s it. Whether you’re in a hot nightclub in
Miami or a library in Huddersfield, the fundamentals of attraction
remain the same. While there are differences in how you should
operate in those milieus, they are not as great as you might think.
Indeed, the main reason that daygame and online game gurus have
sprung up is that it is somewhat easier to establish and sell to a niche
than it is to be a generalist.
My contention, though, is that in today’s market you have to be a
generalist—a renaissance man of seduction, if you like. The only way
to achieve the best results is by generating leads during the day
through daygame, online, and through apps and in the evening
through night game and social circle or entourage interactions. As a
modern man, you simply don’t have the luxury of being able to
eschew one form of game for another.
In other word, you need to be “always on.”

To demonstrate how you can develop your “always on” strategy

effectively, I discuss four pillars revealed in an article on marketing
blog warc.com here:
1. Understand the context. In always-on marketing, context is
everything. Locations, rhythms, competition, locations, and emotion
all have an impact.
This is vitally important. Basically, you need to be socially calibrated.
As I said before, there are clear differences in how you would
approach a girl in a nightclub as opposed to a bookshop (although the
fundamental structure remains the same). I, for example, have
approached in art galleries, Vegas nightclubs, and on the London
Underground, and in each of these the manner of my interactions has
been different.
In the nightclub, for example, energy, emotions, and drama run high,
compelling you to be larger than life and flamboyant. Chatting to the
girl in the queue opposite you at the coffee store is going to be
different. Don’t whatever you do make the mistake that many guys
make of having one “pickup” persona that you use in all
circumstances. Be agile, flexible, and adaptable.
2. Understand the consumer. Always-on marketing is the ultimate
extent of consumer-centric marketing. It requires a deep
understanding of the patterns, motivations, considerations, and
analysis of consumer behaviour.

In terms of seduction, this really involves understanding women and

their dual sexual strategy (so-called “beta bucks and alpha fucks”) as
much as possible. For this you need to become a student of human
nature. There are many great books, blogs, and articles written on this
subject, but also be observant, keep your eyes open, and draw your
own conclusions. Stay in tune with popular culture. Listen to song
lyrics, and watch TV shows.

The great American playwright Edward Albee once said, “We are
animals, are we not? I’m interested in the fact that so much of what I
think is wrong with the world is to do with the fact that Man’s nature
is so close to the bestial. And we had better be a little more aware of
it.” Pretty lies may cloud the truth, but human beings in the main are
out for themselves. Understand your target market (women) inside
out so that you can position yourself accordingly.
3. Understand the data. Always-on marketing is ultimately data
driven, and without using both your own data and the exhaust data
from the broad digital world you will not be able to understand and
know enough to deliver true, always-on marketing.
Data is king these days in advertising and most other disciplines, and
so it is with pickup. If you are not keeping some kind of record of
your approaches, failures, and successes, you are a fool because it is
only through tracking the data and then tweaking your approach that
you will be able to better your results.
Say, for example, you approached a hundred girls in a shopping mall,
asked them straight up for sex, and you were rejected a hundred
times. Then say you tried ten indirect approaches (asking where the
pet shop is) and got three phone numbers. In that instance, the data
would clearly show that the first technique was flawed and the second
fruitful.
This is an extreme example, but it is only by tracking your progress
and analysing your results that you can improve.

4. Become Service and Product driven. Always-on is not advertising.

It requires a view of brands and businesses being of service to
consumers, practically and or emotionally useful. Understanding
consumer requirements is being able to predict, create, and deliver
services and products that they might want. Providing the vehicle
for them to “pull” your business into their daily world.
This is really about how you position yourself in light of the data
(both your own and that of other guys, and there are many websites,
blogs, and forums where you can find that). In the past, many men
would approach women emphasizing their “good” points to try to
demonstrate that they would make “great boyfriend material.” As we
now know, though, this was a flawed strategy, as more often than not
the nice guy gets rejected.
We now know this is broadly because women have a dual mating
strategy that compels them to seek out alphas (cads) for short-term
mating opportunities (fast sex) and nice guys (dads) for paternity and
long-term investment.
If you can successfully present yourself as a quick, discreet, and
pleasurable sex partner, you are providing something that is
“practically and . . . emotionally useful” to a great many women
(because they want sex, too, remember).
Once you have had sex with her, you can, if you wish, transition into a
relationship. The important thing to know is that you will certainly
have a lot more success by presenting yourself as a lover up front
rather than a needy beta provider.
In today’s dating market, you need to be always on, which means you
must always be approaching through many different means—e.g.,
daygame, night game, online game, and social circle game.
You must develop a full understanding of the context of each along
with a deep understanding of women and what makes them tick.
You must experiment with different techniques (direct, indirect,
sexual, suave, charming) and tweak when the data shows that
something isn’t working.
You must then position your product (yourself) as something that will
be practically or emotionally useful to the woman you’re seducing.
Today, that often means being the sexy cad rather than the provider
figure, at least at first.

Finally, you must be agile and adaptable, having the energy and
persistence to maximize your exposure on the market while at the
same time learning from and correcting your mistakes.
 [38]

5 Habits All Successful Players

Share

WHETHER YOU ARE LOOKING TO ATTRACT a long-term

girlfriend or a wife or you are experimenting with shorter-term
liaisons, learning the art of seduction is essential. Reams of content
have been written on the topic. Indeed, it’s possible to get lost in a
tsunami of pickup advice.
While it can be useful to absorb successful people’s stated techniques,
a shortcut is to simply observe their habits and adopt them yourself.
To that end, here is a list of the top five habits I’ve observed in men
who are great with women.
1. They take every opportunity

Men who are great with women recognize and seize upon every
opportunity that is presented to them. In this way, they are somewhat
akin to entrepreneurs. They know that the market is in a constant state
of flux, and that change is at the heart of opportunity. As such, like
speculators of pussy, they are never afraid to launch a takeover bid
regardless of the circumstances.
Game writers will often advise men that they should be approaching
all the time. I would wholeheartedly endorse this advice. I would also
add that however many opportunities you’re taking now there are
always more to be had.
I, for example, will try to get my first approach of the day in the
morning while I'm traveling to my office on the subway. There are so
many cute girls on their way to work in London (or any reasonably
sized commuter city), and yet guys won’t talk to them, presumably
rationalizing that it is too early, that “she’ll think I’m crazy,” or
something else. In fact, I’ve probably taken more phone numbers and
set up more dates through morning approaches than at any other
time.
The next time you are out and about and see an attractive girl be sure
to approach her whatever the time or the circumstances. It is only by
being present and open to all prospects that you will truly optimize
your game.
2. They notice and follow up on IOIs
While most game advice is focussed on what the guy should do to
attract the girl, the fact remains that there will be many times that girls
will shoot you so-called “indicators of interest” (IOIs) without you
having done anything.
While I would never advise anyone to rely on these signals, I would
counsel that you should always at least notice them and follow up
with alacrity. Not only do direct IOIs frequently lead to sex, but also if
you fail to pursue a potentially interested girl, you will find yourself
regretting it for a long time afterwards. Men are the more romantic
gender. There are few more lasting self-inflicted wounds than the
thought of that beautiful girl who smiled at you at the museum and
who you just know you could have dated had you had the courage to
speak to her.
The successful seducer is always on the lookout for IOIs, and he’ll act
quickly when he gets them, even if it means deviating slightly from
his routine.
For example, a while back I was on a subway train when I got strong
direct eye contact from an attractive, petite, and very feminine
brunette. Once you’ve been in the game a while, you will learn to
distinguish a solid IOI from casual interest, but the best way to
describe this look was as that “rabbit in the headlights” gaze that girls
give when they are truly smitten.
She was giving me that look, and I knew I had to follow up. When she
got off the train, I went right after her, introduced myself on the
platform, took her number, and then left. A drink and then several
awesome sex sessions ensued later. Had I not taken the time to go
after her, we would never have connected.

Remember: always be willing to go after a sure thing, and never leave

money on the table.
3. They stand out from the crowd
Every truly successful seducer I have ever known has found ways to
differentiate himself and stand out from the crowd. This can manifest
itself in many ways, but primarily I’m talking about standing out
physically (in terms of what you wear) and standing out in terms of
your personality.
While the old game concept of “peacocking” is rightly maligned these
days, there can be little argument that, all else being equal, the better
dressed man will be more successful than his slacks-and-sweatshirt
counterpart. A former colleague of mine who has slept with more
women than anyone else I’ve ever met was particular about his
clothes to the point of obsession.
I appreciate that some might feel tempted to question this, but
remember that narcissism is one of the three “dark triad”
characteristics that are like catnip to women (along with
Machiavellianism and psychopathy). Taking time to select a silk
pocket square that contrasts dramatically with your blazer plus the
right trousers and shoes will help your cause a lot if you remember
that your main aim is to stand out rather than blend in.
Your personality, too, should be larger than life. Don’t be obnoxious,
but as a rule of thumb, try to ensure that you are louder and have
more to say than the other men in the group.

4. They are dominant

There can be no doubt that women are attracted to masculine men,
and that means that to be a contender you need to be dominant. The
obvious caveat here is that you should also be respectful and
appreciate that “no” means no. Nevertheless, within these boundaries,
it will serve you well to ensure that your body language, your tone of
voice, and your general demeanour communicate dominance both of
the woman you are interacting with as well as any other men in your
vicinity.
The key thing is to appear decisive and unwavering, even if secretly
you aren’t. For example, after you’ve had a couple of drinks with a
girl on a date, try getting up, taking her by the hand, and simply
leading her to a taxi. When she questions what you’re doing, just say
“we’re going back to my place to watch a movie.” Doing this will
communicate that you have had similar success with women before
and that you are not even mildly concerned by the idea of failure.
In the back of your mind, you may well be uncertain that she will
acquiesce, and that’s fine. Just act anyway, and see what happens.
She’s much more likely to want to go home with you if you
demonstrate leadership, and even if she doesn’t, she will respect you,
which will likely pay dividends the next time you meet.
5. They don’t apologize
Highly successful seducers never apologize and certainly not for
minor social infractions. The fact of the matter is you can’t make an
omelette without breaking eggs. If you are the kind of guy who
frequently approaches women while demonstrating leadership and a
certain kind of cocky-funny humor, the likelihood is that you’re going
to offend someone sooner or later.
I’m not recommending that you should be offensive. Instead, be classy
and convivial in all your interactions. The truth of the matter, though,
is that the real seducer always ruffles a few feathers in his quest for
vaginal Valhalla. If someone gets offended, make a joke, but don’t
apologize. As long as have acted lawfully, you have nothing to be
sorry for.
Remember that an apology is a submission to someone else’s frame,
and that is never a good look.
 [39]

How To Get More Sex With Alpha

Douchebag Club Game

A PROBLEM FOR MANY MEN who are trying to learn about getting
good with women is that they are naturally nice, or at least they have
been conditioned to limit the expression of their masculinity and
instead display a PG-rated, polite, caring, soft version of themselves.
This, after all, is what we’ve been told works.
Girls, we are told, want to meet a man who is nonthreatening, interested
in the same things they are, and in touch with his emotions. Very quickly,
however, our illusions are shattered when these exact behaviours not
only fail to work but also often attract harsh blowouts and female
ridicule.

I don’t think we should denigrate men for this. Qualities I assumed

would endear me to women but which frequently had the opposite
effect are actually those that I value myself—being well-read; being
willing to converse deeply on philosophy, literature, or politics; being
polite and interested in others; having a sense of honour.
Make no mistake. So-called White Knighting (“nice guy” game) is not
merely a flawed strategy for accessing sex (“You should like me
because I’m such a great guy”). It is also quixotic, reflecting how men
think things ought to be rather than how they are, as women mostly
don’t find White Knights attractive.
What women really want, it would appear, is the bad boy, the jock,
the douchebag, the exciting alpha whose devil-may-care swag causes
tornadic pupil-enlarging and tsunamic Victoria’s Secret panty wetting.
For those readers unfamiliar this idea, I suggest you read Sperm Wars
by Robin Baker, a great primer of female sexual strategy.
For our purposes here, it suffices to say that as women grow
increasingly independent from men, “provider” qualities that were
once attractive, e.g., being pleasant with a good steady job, are now
though somewhat inferior to sexy jerkboy qualities that don’t suggest
stability but do promise great sex and superior alpha genes.
I was once the guy discussing Sartre and existentialism with some
philosophically inclined girl at the bar for hours before getting a polite
peck on the cheek at the end of the night and no sex. Meanwhile, that
ripped guy in an Ed Hardy wifebeater and trucker cap would already
be having sex with whatever coed he’d picked up tonight.
If I’m honest, I would probably have been snobbish about such a man,
whose technique was the polar opposite to my own, but actually it
would have served me better to have observed his behaviour and
attitudes and incorporated some of them into my own game.
I recently spent a few days on the Spanish party island of Ibiza. For
those who haven’t been there, suffice to say it is the Las Vegas of
Europe—blazing sunshine for five months of the year, huge clubs, and
literally thousands of hot girls getting off planes from England,
Russia, Italy, mainland Spain, and the U.S. every day. Here, at my
favourite party Circo Loco at DC10, I was privileged to observe some
of the most exquisite alpha douchebag club game that I have seen for
a long time.
Circo Loco is a techno party that used to attract an underground
crowd of Italian music lovers. It was defiantly unglamorous, with the
focus being firmly on the beats. Ten years later, like everywhere else
on the island, it now attracts a much bigger, more mainstream crowd,
including many, many cute 18 to 24-year-old girls in cutoff denim
shorts and alpha jock types. Standing in the back room listening to DJ
Mees Dierpdorf, I saw a pretty young English brunette get picked up
by a loud AMOG (“alpha male of the group”) in a vest with YOLO
written on it.
The AMOG was dancing with a group of three guys in front of the DJ
box. He was tall and muscular, with a cheeky, good-looking face. He
was whooping, throwing his arms in the air, and moving around a lot,
dominating the space. He was talking to everyone—guys, girls,
young, old, cute, or ugly. Just a friendly word or two here and there,
e.g., “All right, mate,” “Sweet,” “Have a good night.” He had a huge
grin on his face and looked as though he was having the time of his
life. He was touching everyone—a handshake here, a pat on the head
there. He was only interested in having fun, in enjoying the music and
dancing.
The cute brunette whispered something to her friend and then
approached the AMOG. She was holding a Spanish flamenco fan. She
stood right in front of him and wafted it up and down, cooling him
off. After all, he was glowing with sweat from all that dancing. He
laughed, pulled her towards him, rubbed the top of her head with his
palm, and then kissed her on the cheek as though she were his little
sister. He spoke briefly to her, looking down at her as though highly
sceptical and puzzled by everything she said, sometimes pulling her
in close to speak in her ear.

Then he carried on dancing as before, but now the brunette and her
friend were part of the group. The AMOG didn’t pay much attention
to them. He just carried on partying, talking to other guys and girls,
and having a blast. From time to time, one of his friends would
whisper something to the brunette, probably in attempt to ingratiate
himself, but with a light, playful touch.
After ten minutes or so, the group disbanded, and now the two girls
were on the periphery again. Seeing his opportunity, a Spanish guy
came up behind the brunette and began dancing close to her, holding
her hips. The AMOG noticed. He came over immediately, put a huge
arm around the girl, and moved her away to his right. Then he took
her place in front of the unfortunate interlocutor and began grinding
his ass into his crotch, laughing all the while. Then he turned and
playfully grabbed the guy’s head, pulled it towards him, and kissed
him on the cheek, as though this was all just good fun rather than
serious mate-guarding.
His physical dominance and the man’s humiliation were plain for
everyone to see. Then—and this was the AMOG’s masterstroke—he
grabbed the brunette and threw her back into the Spaniard’s arms.

Predictably, she shook her head, disgusted by the implication that she
might want to be with this weaker beta male. With huge, shining eyes,
she walked once more into the protective radius of the AMOG, who
was now ignoring her and dancing wildly once more as though
nothing had happened.
The unfortunate Spaniard walked away, his emasculation confirmed,
any opportunity for sexual access to the brunette brutally eradicated.
In contrast, the AMOG’s supremacy was now ensured. I am certain
that after his seeing off the lesser man the brunette would have had
sex with him in the bathroom right then had he chosen to lead her
there.
If this sounds like something you might see on a wildlife
documentary, believe me, it was, but in the modern nightclub, the
combination of alcohol, drugs, and overtly sexual music as well as the
array of potential male suitors on hand means that attractive young
women have little need not to seek out the highest value males they
can get.
Does this mean that alpha douchebag game is the only way? No. My
own style is based more on conversation coupled with increasing
physicality throughout the interaction. It works well for me and for
people I’ve taught. Could I have pulled the cute brunette? Quite
possibly. She was certainly no more attractive than other girls I’ve
slept with, but let’s be honest. Stealing her from the AMOG that night
would have been a challenge. A well-built natural who exhibits
physical dominance and a fun, don’t-give-a-shit attitude in a club is
always going to be hard to beat

If you are not like the AMOG in this story, there are still a few things
you can do. The first is to consider whether night game is for you at
all. If you favour a softer approach, you might be better off sticking to
daygame. That’s not to say that you’re not also competing with
AMOGs in the girl’s circle during the day, but at least they won’t be
present, so you can take your shot in a more low-key, less-pressured
situation.
If you prefer clubs, though, there is a lot to be learned from AMOGs,
and it’s worth watching them and copying some of their behaviours.
First, if you don’t work out, begin immediately. I go to the gym about
five times a week. I’m not huge, but I have developed greater muscle
mass over the years, which means I feel significantly more confident
around other men than when I was in my early twenties.
Second, rather than doing hundreds of “gamey” cold approaches, you
might experiment with simply going out with a group of high-value
male friends, dominating the club environment, speaking to everyone,
having a great time, and attracting girls that way. In my anecdote—
and this is the mark of the true alpha—the AMOG didn’t have to
bother approaching the cute brunette. She came to him. I’m not saying
do nothing. You still need to interact, but given that you will be
talking to everyone anyway, and those close to you will likely be there
because they are attracted to your energy, pulling them will be much
easier.
You should look quizzically at girls when they talk to you, as if they
are children who aren’t quite making sense. Be physical with
everyone, especially other men. High-fives, hugs, pats on the back,
handshakes. If you can make it look as though you can dominate
other guys, you are well on the way to creating lots of attraction in
your vicinity. Don’t try to be cool. Smile, be happy, and look as
though you’re having an amazing time. Be friendly to people. The
true alpha can afford to be magnanimous because he knows he can
dominate anyone who steps out of line.

Remember that while “dark triad” characteristics are undeniably

attractive to women, the greatest currency in a nightclub is fun . You
should not attach too much importance to your target, and if another
guy moves in on her, feel free to replicate the technique I’ve described
here as it was, quite frankly, a stroke of genius. (Judge the situation
carefully though. Don’t get beaten up.)

Another thing you should bear in mind is that the cute brunette I
describe looked like a typical good girl—the type who the beta male
would assume would be swayed by intelligent conversation, flowers,
and dinner. Not a bit of it. It was a central tenet of Mystery’s thinking
that ultimate masculine energy attracts ultimate feminine energy.
There will be those who read this and attribute the alpha’s success
entirely to his looks and build, but that would miss the point. While
those things undeniably helped (and every man can work on his body
and his appearance), it was his behaviour, his display of masculine
dominance that really made the difference. Not everyone has to use
this type of physically dominant game, as you can use other strategies,
but you should at least be aware of it, of how susceptible beautiful
young women are to it, and how easy it is to imitate.

Even if you are not a 6', granite-jawed champion lifter, aping a few of
the behaviours I’ve outlined here while in the club will pay dividends
and certainly differentiate you from the guys you are competing with,
the majority of whom will be the overwhelmed James Bond-imitating,
wall-hugging types that populate most clubs.
 [40]

How “Flipping The Script” Will Help

You Meet Hot Girls

COMING INTO GAME and understanding inter-gender dynamics is

an eye-opener for many men, and it takes some longer than others to
understand what the best strategies available are to those who want to
improve their success with women. When people find out that I write
about game for a living, they will often ask what my best “chat up”
line is, failing to understand that the “opener” is really just that, an
opener. No single line is ever strong enough to get a woman into bed
immediately (unless that line is “I am Justin Bieber”).
But if they asked me what my best overall strategy for meeting women
was, I would say that it is flipping the script . In fact, it is only by
learning to flip the scrip proficiently that you will start to see
incremental gains in your success with girls over time as well as in
your social standing.
Think about how social interactions between men and women are
usually calibrated for a moment. As you will be aware, the whole
setup in Western society positions the woman as the dominant actor,
with the man a kind of underdog who must kowtow to her, bring her
gifts, and entertain her to be in with a chance of vaginal access with
her.
The concept of courtly love, which was identified by writers and
historians in the nineteenth century but was actually operational from
1099 or so in France, was a highly stylised form of courtship, where
knights were encouraged to undertake acts of extreme bravery to win
the hearts of the ladies they were enamoured of. Unbelievably, poets
actually declared themselves “vassals” of their lady, even addressing
her as maidens or “my lord.” So subjugated were men at this point that
they actually referred to women in the masculine.
This notion of the female as a superior being whose affections can
only be obtained through male supplication has infused literature, art,
music, and film ever since. It is so deep-rooted in our culture as to be
almost indomitable, and today in the age of selfies and Instagram,
with thirsty men liking each and every attention-whoring post that
gets put up, day or night, you might reasonably argue that its fever
pitch has only increased. It is for this reason that flipping the script is
more important than ever before for gaining cut-through in a
competitive sexual marketplace.

Flipping the Script is defined as the following:

Reversing the usual or existing positions in a situation; doing something
unexpected or revolutionary.
It has been part of pickup phraseology for many years now along with
another related concept: “You are the prize.” Basically, when dealing
with women, the idea is simply that you must refuse to accept the
frame of the underdog and instead go into every interaction with the
unstated assumption that you as the guy are the dominant party, and
she should be the one who proves herself worthy of you .
This sounds very simple in outline, but how do you actually go about
putting it into practice? It’s not easy, especially since you are
effectively pushing back against centuries of social conditioning and
the conventional operating system that scaffolds our culture.
It is precisely for these reasons that flipping the script works so well.
Think about this for a moment. Who are the guys who are walking
around now who are naturally unintimidated by hot girls and who
are naturally uncowed by them? Very rich, very handsome, very high-
value alpha males. Pop stars, billionaire playboys, members of the
Saudi royal family, rappers, actors. You get the idea.
If a hot girl is treated in an offhand manner by one of the above, do
you think she’s going to be surprised or mad? No. Recognising that
such a man is higher value than she is, she will naturally expect him to
be offhand with her, perhaps even rude. Why? Because he’s special
and unique, and she isn’t. You think a really hot girl, a 9, expects
Justin Bieber to be nice to her off the bat? No she doesn’t because she
knows that, however hot she is, his social capital as a world-famous
celebrity is higher than hers. So when he is rude to her at the stage
door after a concert, she will only try harder to impress him, so much
so she’ll actually be grateful if he finally deigns to have sex with her.
The social convention of men having to be supplicating to girls to get
into their pants is actually extremely useful to women. Not only does
it mean they get free drinks, dinners, cars, and holidays to Dubai, but
it also means that they are able to discern the real high-value men
from the fake.
A really high-value man, like Bieber, might choose to lavish a girl with
gifts, but he wouldn’t have to in order to sleep with her. In fact, most
girls would think it weird if he did. Can you imagine? “Hi, it’s Justin. I
bought you these flowers because I think you’re really nice.” It would
be entirely incongruent. All Justin has to say is three words—“Room
7895 now”—to get girls into his bed, and they know it.
We can take advantage of this phenomenon to our benefit because
when you start acting with the imperious disdain of a rock star girls
are naturally going to be curious. A few might laugh and call into
question your right to be so cocky, but even so, they will wonder.
“How come this guy is acting so dismissive of me? There must be
something about him.” You don’t necessarily have to be a high-value,
stone-cold alpha off the bat. If you can take on some of the habits and
attitudes of the alpha, you will find yourself being put into that
category by default, since girls by and large just aren’t used to low-
value guys acting like that.

How to do it? That could be the subject of a whole book. The most
obvious tool at your disposal is “fake it ’til you make it. ” To misquote
the renowned acting professor Stanislavsky, you should “act as if.”
Try to imagine what Bieber (or whoever else you’d like to emulate)
would do as he walked down this street or came into contact with
girls in this club. How would he look at them? How would he speak
to them? What would he say? What would his tonality be like? What
would his body language look like? How would his eye contact and
gestures be?
If you want to get specific, go to YouTube and study whoever it is
you’re thinking of for some tips. Then practice acting just like that .
Another tool that has been very useful to me over the years is defiance .
I was a classic hardcase beta who simply refused to live my life in that
way. Years ago I used to shrink into the corner in nightclubs afraid to
make eye contact. Friends and colleagues now tease me for my walk,
which they call a strut. They say I walk around as if I owned the place.
My voice is loud and strong, my eye contact is good, and if anything I
have to tone down my natural ebullience and confidence when I meet
people to not dominate the proceedings. This is not to brag but merely
to indicate that you can change and adopt high-value behaviours—
and a great way to spark that process is by getting angry with yourself
and refusing to behave badly any longer.
One note of caution: if you are at a less than optimal stage in other
areas of your life, simply flipping the script on its own may not
deliver you miraculous results. If you walk around the club acting like
a rock star when you’re actually broke, overweight, and dressed
badly, people will see through that. Perhaps Jack Black walks around
the club like that and still gets laid (although, of course, he’s not
broke), but he also has considerable social proof backing him up.
My message, as always, is that as with any game tool as you use it you
must also simultaneously look to raise your real sexual market value
in all other areas. You should be reading books, going to the gym,
eating right, and dressing well, but simply by adopting the mental
and behavioural habit of flipping the script, you will start to see
positive changes in the ways girls react to you.
 [41]

How To Make Out With A Girl

Without Getting “The Cheek”

ONE OF THE KEY PIECES of game advice that most men would do
well to internalise is to become more sexual with the women they
date. In my experience, what really separates successful seducers from
onanistic dilettantes is their ability to move things forward physically.
Key to this is the ability to kiss a girl successfully at the right time.
Unfortunately, a makeout does not mean that you will sleep with any
given girl. Guys new to game can get very excited about kissing new
girls in nightclubs, little realising how infrequently such dalliances
convert into lays. If the number of girls I’ve slept with is in the
hundreds, the number of makeouts I’ve had sits comfortably in the
thousands.

Why should this be the case? While girls get supremely horny
(particularly just before their periods), because their requirement for
sex is generally less urgent than men’s, they can enjoy the sexual
frisson that a makeout can bring without necessarily feeling
compelled to follow through to sex. For this reason, you should take
care not to be the “club makeout guy”—essentially an entertainer, as
forgettable for her after a night out as the cloakroom attendant.
That said, makeouts are without a doubt very important in the
seduction process. Why? It’s very simple. While you can in theory
sleep with a girl without having kissed her first, no girl who won’t
kiss you will go to bed with you. A makeout serves the dual purpose
of affirming her attraction to you while simultaneously pumping her
state and getting her turned on.

For many men starting out, though, the idea of going in for a kiss is
terrifying principally because they are afraid the girl will turn her
cheek and reject them. In a way, their fear is justifiable, as it speaks to
the compliance element of makeouts we’ve just discussed. As even the
most sheltered chode knows, a kiss separates a friendly, “friend
zone”-type interaction from a sexually charged one. So there’s a lot
riding on “going in for the kill,” as failure means that you have been
rejected as a sexual prospect, a crushing thought for most new guys
A lot of men—myself included when I started—would rather not risk
it and will keep chatting away about inconsequential nonsense hoping
that something will happen naturally. It won’t. Women very rarely if
ever initiate physical interactions. As the guy, it’s your job, so you
must man up and get to work.
One of the biggest realizations I’ve had in game is just how frequently
girls will reject your first attempts at a kiss even when they’re
attracted to you. This may sound like small beans in the world’s
philosophical insights, but it’s actually been incredibly freeing. I can’t
tell you how many times I’ve been on dates with a girls only for them
to give me the cheek again and again, sometimes five times or more,
before finally opening up to the makeout. If only I’d known this when
I was a teenager, when one spurned kiss would have meant months in
my bedroom listening to The Smiths, covered in shame.
To set things up as effectively as possible for a successful makeout,
you first need to ensure you’re physical with her from the off. Little
touches count. A kiss on both cheeks when you first meet her, touches
to her lower arms and shoulders as you are speaking, a firm hand on
her lower back as you guide her through a busy venue. All of these
things, minor in themselves, will help build a sense of physical
intimacy between you, ensuring that the kiss, when it does come,
won’t seem as jarring or unexpected.
Now that you are comfortable with one another, you are ready to
make out, but when is the “right” time? While there is no exact
prescription for this, I can guarantee that you can kiss her sooner than
you think. In fact, given what I’ve already said about girls’ tendencies
to turn down initial attempts even when they’re attracted, you might
as well start as early as possible.
These days I will usually go in for a kiss within the first fifteen
minutes, sometimes sooner. Why waste time? As a general rule of
thumb, though, if you’re not confident in being so bold, the girl will
signal that she’s ready to be kissed in a very subtle way. Usually, there
will be a small pause in the conversation, and she’ll shoot you a micro
glance, as though she’s expectant of something. This is the point at
which you must act. If you don’t, the moment will be lost, and you
may not recover it.
To kiss her, place your hand confidently but gently on her cheek. If
you want, you can caress her face a little or stroke her hair. Then move
her face so that she is looking at you. Now move in close, without
hesitating, aiming your lips at hers. If you receive no resistance, go for
it. After your lips have touched, she should open her mouth slightly,
allowing you to put your tongue in. You can now move your hand
away from her face, perhaps moving it to her leg to sexualise things a
little more. A good way to spice the kiss up and display dominance is
to bite her bottom lip gently, which stops things from getting too
vanilla.
But what to do if you “get the cheek”? In many cases, especially if
you’ve gone in early, she will reject your first attempts by turning her
head away. Many men are so horrified by this possibility that they are
scared even to make an attempt, but you shouldn’t be. Instead, just
realise that it happens to everyone, and that it’s part of the process.
Smirk, pull back, talk about neutral topics, and then try again a little
later. Sometimes it takes four or even five attempts before your kiss
will be reciprocated. That’s absolutely fine unless she is very angrily
telling you to back off, in which case things have gone irrevocably
wrong, and you must apologize. If she’s still sitting there, though, you
can be confident that she’s interested, and that it’s your job to persist.

In the end, you can be confident that so long as you don’t look fazed
or butthurt this tactic will work, and good things will follow.
 [42]

8 Tips For Getting Laid More By

Developing Your Sexual Presence

LEARNING GAME is rather like learning a musical instrument.

Technique can be taught: body language, what to say, and how to
lead. Core “talent,” which in this case translates as sexual presence
can’t, but it is the key element to attracting girls that you have in your
arsenal.
When I see guys chatting up girls, it is almost always sexual presence
or intent that is missing. So many times I’ve seen a man interacting
with a woman, maybe saying something funny and making her laugh,
but with no suggestion that he intends—or is even capable of—
ripping her clothes off and having sex with her. Yet, this is exactly
what he must emanate to be successful. The girl must sense
immediately and without any question that he is a sexual, dominant
man.
In both night game and daygame, the optimal state you achieve is a
kind of sexual trance, where you prowl around like a tiger eying its
prey, ready to pounce. If you can get there, you will find that the
importance of your “outer game” will diminish as girls are drawn to
you on a primal level. If you’ve ever had the experience of making out
with a girl in a club without even having spoken to her or having sex
within a few minutes of meeting, it will have been because the degree
of sexual presence you showed was sufficient to arouse her without
any “pickup” window dressing.
How do you become a ball of pent-up sexual energy? This is difficult
to teach, as it must come from within. Every pickup interaction is to
some degree an expression of your inner state at the time: every
successful pickup occurs when your sexual energy is potent, and you
have signalled this sufficiently to the girl.
This is easier for some men than others. If you had a particularly
conservative upbringing and are not comfortable with being sexual,
the curve is going to be steeper than for the former high school jock
accustomed to getting blow jobs from girls after class. Here are a few
things that you can do to help get into the right state.
1. Develop swagger
As with many things in life, if you adopt certain external behaviors,
your mind will soon catch up. One of the fundamental ways in which
you can demonstrate that you are a sexual man is through your body
and the way you move.
The way you walk through a bar or a nightclub is critical. Ensure that
your head is high and your shoulders back at all times. Relax your
shoulders so that your arms are hanging down casually by your sides.
Shake them so that they feel loose and free. Walk forward, rotating
your torso from side to side from your lower back. Keep your legs
wide apart and your crotch angled slightly forward, as though your
cock is leading you. Angle your head up so that you look down on
each girl you pass. Your aim is to take up as much room as you can
while demonstrating an arrogant, cavalier attitude. Imagine you are
John Wayne in a cowboy movie.
This may feel unnatural: you should exaggerate your movements at
first until they become second nature. A lot of game is akin to acting.
Imagine that you are a cocky, alpha guy (if you’re not already), and
move how that guy would move.
Soon, it will be easy.
Girls have often commented on the way I walk around as if I own the
place. When I show sexual intent, therefore, I am congruent. It’s a
simple trick and very easy to pull off.

2. Lift
You will rarely read a manosphere blog or men’s self-improvement
book without lifting weights being advocated somewhere. The reason
I mention this here is because it will help you with your posture but
mainly because it will boost your testosterone, thus increasing your
sexual potency.

There are other sources where you can find specific information about
working out. In my experience, though, compound exercises or lifts
that target bigger muscles, such as a bench press, shoulder press, dead
lifts, and squats, give me a kind of high, making me feel masculine
and powerful. This is exactly the mood you need to be in when you go
out to meet women.
Try lifting weights right before you hit the club. I guarantee that it will
lift your mood, you will feel more on point, and this will be apparent
to the girls you meet.
3. Approach loads and loads of women
Once you’re out, approach as many women as you can. In fact, you
should never stop approaching. Do daygame and night game.
Daygame may yield fewer solid leads, but the one thing it does do
when practiced consistently is it ensures that you are on point. Do you
really think a man who talks to one hundred women in the street in a
month is going to have a problem approaching some stuck-up hottie
in a bar?
More importantly, the more girls I hit on, the more sexually potent I
feel. Strangely, it doesn’t matter whether I get rejected or not. Even
after a knock-back, I find myself feeling more in state and more
predatory than before, which communicates itself to the next girl I talk
to.
Always be approaching. Look girls straight in the eye, and allow your
gaze to communicate your sexual state. Be ruthless and unemotional.
Negative reactions don’t matter. You’re not doing this to please
people or to make friends. You’re doing it to get laid. If a girl is rude
or bitchy or says, “but it was nice to meet you,” simply turn your back
on her and go on to the next. Keep grinding out the approaches and
you will find the girls that are interested in you.
4. Watch strippers and porn and listen to hip hop
There is simply no getting around the fact that to be sexual with
women you need to objectify them, at least to some extent. This is not
to suggest that I objectify all women all the time. That would be
ridiculous. Nevertheless, let’s be honest. Both genders objectify the
other to some degree in the realm of sexual fantasy and attraction.
Basically, you’re going to need to be able to visualize the cute girl in
the woolly hat coming out of Whole Foods having a crazy, sweaty
threesome with you.
The best way to accomplish this? Expose yourself to sexy material. Go
to strip clubs. Watch porn—in moderation. Hip-hop music, with its
unapologetically sexual lyrics, is also great for getting you in the
mood.
These things will help you tune into the right mind-set and remind
you that girls are sexual creatures too. It will also increase your desire
for sex, spurring you on when you’re out meeting real women.
You need to shift your perception of women so that you see them as
80% sexual and 20% wholesome rather than the other way around. Do
this and you will find that your interactions with them are more
highly charged.
5. Don’t masturbate too much
Don’t masturbate too much. If possible, keep it to a couple of times a
week. You need to maintain a balance between being so horny that
you come across as desperate and being sated, pale, and red-eyed
after a wanking marathon, too exhausted to approach.
The right balance will vary from guy to guy: find out what works best
for you, and stick to it.
6. Assume her sexual attraction to you
This is key. Go into every interaction with the assumption that she is
into you. Why not? You are the prize, after all.
7. Push it further than you think you can

In the realm of sexual attraction, the currency of overconfidence is

king. Be sexual with her more quickly than you think you can get
away with, that is, look at her commandingly, with deep eye contact,
touch her, hold her hand, drop in suggestive comments, kiss her early.
It goes without saying that you should never do anything against a
girl’s will. If she seems particularly angry or upset, pull back
immediately. You need to have some basic social awareness. My point
is that it is your job as a man to show sexual intent and to lead the
interaction in the right direction to your timetable.
8. Learn to deal with feelings of incongruity
For many men, showing sexual intent and presenting ourselves as
sexual beings can feel uncomfortable if we are not used to it. You need
resist this, and initiate proper man-to-woman interactions with those
girls you want to sleep with.
Ignore any feeling that this behaviour is somehow incongruent with
your true self. It isn’t. Men are sexual beings who are naturally sexual
around women. Remember that and feel good about it.
 [43]

How Clearly Should You

Announce Your Sexual Attraction
to Women You Approach?

WHEN A MAN is sexually or romantically interested in a woman, it

is absolutely imperative that he is clear in his intent and that he
communicates this to her, either overtly or covertly.
If he fails to do so, the risk is that he will end up in friend zone hell or
at the very least will have to endure wasting a lot of time before likely
walking away with nothing.
The good news, though, is that by being clear in your intent you can
filter out time-wasting women, push things forward with those who
are more receptive, and avoid awkward situations where the girl
thinks that you just want to be friends when actually you want
something more.
What do I mean by clarity of intent? Simply that when you approach a
woman you must be 100% certain that she knows you are interested
rather than just stopping her for a friendly chat or to ask for
directions.
Many men get over the initial fear of the approach and become
comfortable talking to girls, but these conversations fail to turn into
phone numbers, and the phone numbers they do obtain fail to turn
into sex or relationships. The reason? Because he didn’t have the
courage to really put himself on the line and take a risk.

Rejection can be tough to handle for anyone, especially a beginner at

game. But prepare to be rejected if you want to meet many different women.
Men who do not exude clarity of intent are almost always men who
secretly fear rejection, but think about it this way. If you’re not having
sex with her after you’ve approached and perhaps met up with her a
couple of times, she’s rejected you anyway. The only difference is that
the rejection was more polite and spread out over a longer period of
time. If you’re going to get blown out, why not get that rejection over
early? That way there’s less time wasted on either side, and you can
both get on with your respective lives.
A great many men pride themselves on being honest, but how many
of them are genuinely honest in their interactions with women?
Actually, I’d bet in most cases that the most honest thing you can say
to a girl is, “I want to have sex with you. Will you come back to my
place right now?”
Social conditioning has falsely inculcated a view that human courtship
needs to be a long affair, drawn out over several dates, incorporating a
lot of “getting to know you” and swapping opinions on books and
bands and gourmet burger recipes. We have been hoodwinked into
thinking that this sort of pattern is somehow more authentic, real, and
“honest.”
This is simply not true. In most cases, the way for a man to be honest
is to express exactly what he’s feeling in relation to a woman and let
the chips fall where they may.
You might think that this relates directly to the age-old argument of
direct versus indirect game, but that’s not quite the case.
For those who don’t know, direct game is going up to a girl (usually
the approach will be cold) and telling her that you think she is hot and
that you’d like to take her out. Indirect game is finding some sort of
pretext to talk to her, such as asking for directions to a certain store,
landmark, or other location, before transitioning the conversation to
the personal.

To be clear, both direct and indirect game can work equally well. It
depends very much on the situation. It would, for example, be
inadvisable to go full-guns-blazing direct with a girl sitting next to
you right at the start of a long transatlantic flight, but if you see a cute
girl and you have two minutes to talk to her before catching a train,
you’d be better served by cutting your losses and going direct.

My point is that whichever method you choose you must ensure that
the girl knows that you are hitting on her. There is no value in getting
her phone number and leaving jubilantly while she believes that she
has simply met a new friend.
She may answer your calls. She may meet up with you, but when you
introduce sex into the conversation and she’s not expecting it, it will
be extremely awkward.
So how do you ask directions to the train station while showing clarity
of sexual intent? Once you get the hang of it, it’s easy. You have to
develop edge . You have to learn to carry yourself in such a way that
you come across as a sexual man who knows what he wants and has
got it many, many times before.

Edge is worthy of a whole book in itself, but I’ll give you a few
pointers. For a start, you must develop strong, unflinching eye
contact. If you think about having sex with her while you’re looking at
her even better.
Your posture must be straight, commanding, and masculine. You
should take up a lot of space. You should be dominant. Your voice
should be low and deep. Above all, you must touch her. Start with a
tap on the shoulder, a brush against the lower arm, and go from there.
A man who gets laid a lot and who is therefore attractive to women is
not afraid to touch. He enjoys it, and he knows the woman he is with
does too.
All these things will position you as a masculine man who is sexually
competent. If you do it correctly, simply by looking at her and holding
eye contact she will know what you really want, and that it’s got
nothing to do with directions to the nearest Starbucks.
Don’t be the guy who collects loads of phone numbers but never gets
laid. Far better to be the man who gets rejected by hundreds of
women but ends up with a gorgeous girlfriend at the end of the year.
Far better to be honest and open to own your sexuality, and make
your intentions with women clear.
When you interact with girls, really make the effort to ensure that they
know you are hitting on them. It may mean you suffer more rejections
in the short term, but long term, you’ll definitely see it work in your
favour.
 [44]

How To Attract Beautiful Girls By

Using This Fundamental Truth
About Sexual Market Value

AS A MAN LOOKING TO MEET and attract women, it is imperative

that you internalise and understand this fundamental fact about
sexual market value: if she’s young (between 18 and 30), slim, and
even a little bit attractive, her SMV outstrips yours significantly.
For this reason, the “playing field” is not even. Just because you were
brought up in the same town, are of a similar social demographic, and
are even of a comparable level of attractiveness, don’t imagine for a
moment that getting with her is a foregone conclusion. A young,
pretty girl has countless options, and you must develop strategies to
get ahead of the pack to be in with a chance with her.
Game writers have long used the terminology of economics to dissect
relations between the sexes for the simple reason that it is both
accurate and relevant. Make no mistake that each of us, men and
women, is a product in the market, with a value that can go up and
down over time, or depending on buyer, location, and a whole host of
other factors.
When you walk over to a woman to introduce yourself, she will
determine your value in relation to hers in a matter of seconds. If she
decides for whatever reason that your SMV is equal or less than hers,
she will reject you as a matter of course. It is only when she considers
your value higher that she will consider sleeping with you.

For this reason, you must always ensure that you demonstrate as
much value as you can in every interaction. Put very simply, if you’re
a schlub, you’re not getting with Adriana Lima anytime soon however
many clever lines you may have memorised from the Internet.
If we accept that the interplay between the sexes forms a marketplace,
we must also accept that each person in it is a product with a value,
both perceived and actual. The way this value is determined differs
considerably for each of the sexes.
Women’s sexual market value is predicated almost entirely on how
they look. This isn’t misogyny as much as an honest reflection of how
most men think, and between the ages of eighteen and thirty, girls
don’t even have to be that facially attractive. If they are in shape, that
is usually enough to ensure that they will have a cohort of thirsty men
liking their pictures on Facebook and following them on Instagram.
It really doesn’t matter much to us men how good a girl’s job is. If
she’s hot, we’ll want to sleep with her. If she isn’t, we don’t, and we’re
not swayed by fame either. I would sleep with Ariana Grande if she
worked in McDonald’s, but I wouldn’t sleep with Meghan Trainor just
because she is on MTV.

Men’s SMV is more complex and changeable. Men, too, are judged on
their looks. Height is also important. When you get into game, you
have to realise that men start from different baselines. If you’re an
ugly dude, sorry but tough luck: the market is ruthless and doesn’t
care. You’ll just have to accentuate your positive traits and work even
harder at approaching in high volume than other men. If you are
short, you have to accept that this, too, is detrimental to your SMV
and make sure that you compensate in other ways
In both cases, you may also have to accept that your prospective
buyers (i.e., women) won’t cut you as much slack as they would guys
that they are more immediately attracted to. It’s a bitter pill to
swallow, but there it is. What you must do is be smart, change those
aspects of yourself that you can, and approach as many targets as
possible to improve your odds.
You can’t change physical attributes (or not easily), but almost every
other aspect of a man’s SMV is open to manipulation, and this
manipulation is really at the heart of what we call game. Your body
language, your vocal projection, what you wear, the way you groom
yourself, how you earn a living, what your physique is like, how you
conduct yourself socially: all these are mutable and can be altered
with a bit of effort. You may also find that your SMV varies
geographically. A man who can’t get a BJ from a hideous troll in
Atlanta may well be the toast of the town in Bangkok.
Wherever you are in the world, the most attractive trait in a man as far
as women are concerned is social dominance. If you can communicate
social and interpersonal dominance through your actions and
behaviours, you will naturally have a higher SMV (and thus be more
likely to get laid) than a man who can’t.
A man who is not classically good looking can nevertheless radically
enhance his SMV. For that we should all be very grateful.
You have to be aware of your SMV relative to others around you and
be prepared to put in the work to improve it. You have to look at
yourself honestly and work out what baseline you’re coming from. If
you’re not good looking or your style is bad or your social skills are
poor, accept that you are less well situated than some other men and
that you’re going to have to put in extra effort to compete.
Too many men I come into contact with seem to think that just by
learning a few game tricks from the Internet they will be able to meet
and attract supermodels. It doesn’t work like that. Becoming good
with women is an holistic process.
In many cases, you will have to start from the ground up, taking a
good long hard look at the strengths and weaknesses in all areas of
your presentation and your life. You have to assess what could be
bettered with forensic honesty and attention to detail and then put
into place concrete, achievable plans to improve in these areas. You
must then take stock regularly, considering your progress each time
and deciding whether or not tweaks to your process are appropriate.
You should go to realtroyfrancis.com and other sources to read
articles full of game advice. In fact, hearing what others have done
before you is invaluable for instruction and inspiration, but ultimately
you must realise that “game” in the sense of having things to say to
women and techniques to use is really only the tip of the iceberg. The
long game is about raising your sexual market value relative to those
of the girls you desire, and there are no shortcuts for doing so. Get
your grooming sorted, get your style sorted, start going to the gym,
and make sure that your social abilities are appropriate outside of a
Minecraft Internet forum.
It is only brutal honesty, application, and hard work that will pay off
in the end.
 [45]

Speak to that Cute Girl Now

Because You’ll Probably Never
See Her Again

YOU ARE ON THE SUBWAY, walking down the platform, when you
see a cute girl overloaded with shopping bags. She is wrapped up in a
scarf and a long coat, but you can discern that underneath these is a
shapely, pulchritudinous young woman that you would like to get to
know better.
As you walk past, you look at her and she looks back and smiles. You
smile, too, feeling a fuzzy, warm (and irrational) sense of validation.
For a split second, you consider speaking, saying “hi,” anything. Then
in that split second you decide not to. After all, it’s busy here, a lot of
people are around, and it might be embarrassing. Your ego has
already been boosted by the fact that she’s smiled anyway. Perhaps
that’s sufficient. Also, you live near here, so perhaps you’ll see her
again another time when it’s less crowded or you’re not in a hurry or
you’re wearing better clothes or you’ve had a shave, and you can talk
to her then.
The truth of the matter, though, is that if you live in a large city the
chances of ever seeing a random stranger again are negligible. If you
walk by now without taking a shot, the likelihood is that you will
never, ever see that same girl again.
Rollo Tomassi of The Rational Male has written frequently about what
he calls “buffers,” i.e., those barriers, mental or otherwise, that men
erect to protect themselves from female rejection. An example might
be remaining in the friend zone for a prolonged period of time with a
girl who is clearly not interested in you. While you probably have an
inkling that this situation is not good for you, a perverse benefit is that
you are not compelled to seek out and approach other women as you
are already tied (in your mind at least) to this special snowflake.
Another buffer is the concept of “leagues.” By believing that a woman
is out of one’s league, a man is effectively insulating himself from the
imperative to approach.
Both are rationalizations, ways to let oneself off the hook from the
scary task of actually manning up and speaking to a girl, and how
pathetic does that sound when written down?
The irrational idea that you might see this random girl another time is
another such buffer. So, too, is that small sense of accomplishment
you feel when you get an IOI (indicator of interest) from a cute girl.
“She smiled at me,” you think. “My attractiveness has been validated.
That’s enough for today.”
Except it’s not enough—not if you have any ambition to be a player.
Instead, you must follow up on each IOI and push through to failure .
The reason most men won’t approach the girl who smiles at them and
ask for her number is that they want to protect themselves from
rejection and retain the good feelings they are already experiencing.
But those good feelings in themselves mean nothing if your goal is to get laid.
When a girl smiled at me on the subway the other night, I very nearly
let the opportunity go. The usual excuses came up. I was tired, needed
to get home, I was carrying grocery bags, but I steeled myself and
approached her anyway. We had a nice little flirtatious conversation,
and she gave me her number. By following through on an IOI, there’s
a good chance you’ll get a result, but even if you don’t, you haven’t
really lost anything—only the illusion that something could have
happened, which in reality is worthless.

That is why you need to act now and see each opportunity that
presents itself through to its logical conclusion. The next time a girl
shows she’s interested in you walk up and start chatting to her.
You really have nothing to lose.
 [46]

3 Places Where You Can Meet

Girls During The Day

SIMPLY DEFINED, daygame is the practice of meeting and attracting

women anywhere that isn’t a night venue, such as a bar or a club. This
leaves a great number of possibilities open, and I have personally met
girls in coffee shops, bookstores, parks, on public transport, and in
gyms to name but a few. Each potential venue has its own strengths,
weaknesses, and inherent problems. If you want to improve your
dating life or meet a quality woman to enjoy a serious relationship
with, it is important that you are aware of these pros and cons and
choose the right milieu in which to approach.
1. The Coffee Shop

These days most of us are caffeine addicts who think nothing of

shelling out the best part of five dollars for a concoction composed of
Peruvian beans, froth, and sugar on the way to work every morning.
London, where I live, is bursting with coffee shops, from those well-
known chains to smaller, “boutique” shops with chalk boards
advertising flat whites and the like outside.
If you are not visiting your local coffee shop at least once a day, you
are seriously missing a trick, as you will find loads of cute girls there
both buying drinks and working as baristas. It shouldn’t be a problem
getting to a coffee shop: if you have a full-time job, pop in before
hitting the office, and if you work for yourself, aim to take your laptop
and spend a few hours each day in one.
One thing that many men ask about is how best to pull that attractive
barista who pours your latte every day. While under most
circumstances my advice is always to strike while the iron’s hot and
go in for the kill as soon as possible, if she works regularly at the store,
you can afford to take your time a little and build up momentum over
a few visits (although not too many) before asking for her number.
I pulled a very cute Italian barista from a coffee place in Kensington
largely through sustained eye contact, which I maintained over about
three visits. Holding her gaze meant that I didn’t have to actually say
very much—“extra cream” sounded suggestive enough for me not to
have to bother with actually “gaming” her. By my fourth visit, she
would blush when I came in. At this point, I simply said that it would
be great for us to meet up sometime when she wasn’t working and
told her to write her number down on a receipt, which she did. Our
first date, on a Sunday afternoon, ended up with both of us in my
bedroom.
2. The Street
The street is a great place to meet women. If you hit any major high
street on a weekend, you will see thousands of girls going about their
business, shopping for clothes, and more. The opportunities are
limitless, but the street is also a terrible place to meet women. It’s
busy, crowded, chaotic, and girls tend to be busy when they’re out
and about, with preplanned schedules to meet. Trying to stop them to
get a phone number can be a thankless task, and even if you do get a
quick number in the daytime, the chances of it flaking are high unless
you have managed to create a strong and positive enough impression.
The big debate about street daygame is whether you should approach
directly or indirectly. Roosh V comes down firmly on the side of
indirect approaches, arguing that direct makes for a greater likelihood
of blowout, and that a longer conversation initiated indirectly makes it
more likely that she will actually come out to meet you on a date,
which is the endgame after all. I personally have had success with
both (I have gotten lays by simply walking up to a girl in the street
and telling her she’s beautiful) and tend to intersperse the two
techniques depending on the girl and the situation. Whichever
approach you lean towards, it’s imperative that you have a strategy,
especially at the beginning.
3. Public Transport
I have frequently extolled the benefits of approaching girls on the
London Underground transport system. To my surprise, a good many
men are sceptical that any good results could be achieved on the
capital’s subway, but the London Underground is where I have had
the most daygame success.
The benefits of approaching women while they travel is that they
generally tend to be bored and are therefore up for a little distraction.
The downside is that trains and buses tend to be packed, so you may
have to make your approach in the earshot of other commuters. You
will also have limited time to run your game, as she will be getting off
at some point, and she may be wearing headphones or playing with
her smartphone.
As with street game, I have had success both with direct and indirect
approaches on public transport. I once told a Russian girl on the
underground that I liked her bag and ended up sleeping with her in
her hotel room several hours later. Alternatively, if I’m pressed for
time or the girl is about to get off, I will sometimes “go for broke” and
just tell her that she’s cute, that I’d like to take her out, and give her
my phone for her to put her number in.
As with any type of game, there are an infinite number of variables at
play, and it’s always better to try something rather than nothing.
 [47]

How To Have Conversations With

Women That Get Results

WHILE MANY MEN spend a lot of time agonizing over which line to
open a girl with, the truth is that opening is only part of the battle. The
real meat of daygame is in maintaining a conversation and then
getting her number.
We all know what a conversation is—it’s when two human beings
exchange views and information with each other verbally. The
problem we encounter in daygame is how does one maintain a
conversation with a perfect stranger when there is no real reason to
talk to them at all?
In normal circumstances, such as when we are talking to friends,
coming up with what to say next isn’t really an issue. If we are already
friendly or intimate with someone, most of the time the conversation
just seems to “flow” without much difficulty. When you meet a girl on
the street or in a coffee shop or a bookstore, your aim should be to
simulate this sort of flow as closely as you can to generate a sense of
connection (and indeed, to create a genuine connection in doing so).
Unfortunately, this means that you are going to have to put in a lot of
the initial groundwork.
It’s no good to just ask a girl you’ve just met a load of interview-style
questions. Such a strategy just won’t cut it. Not only is it boring, and
what pretty much every guy would do if he had the courage to
approach in the first place, but it also risks being unduly personal up
front, something that can “scare the cat” when you’re talking to a new
girl.
Instead, you must chat while throwing out “bait” for the girl to get
hooked on.
How? The secret is simply to keep talking for as long as possible (until
you’ve got her number or she’s outright rejected you) while throwing
in tantalizing tidbits of information about yourself that she will be
intrigued by and have no choice but to question you on.
The point of all game is to reveal your personal value to women in a
way that is not obvious, and crucially, to get her to ask you a personal
question.
Perhaps you happen to be writing a spy thriller in your spare time.
Your job is to let her know this. After all, she won’t meet a man who’s
writing a spy thriller every day, and therefore you are interesting and
most likely attractive to her as a result.
But you shouldn’t make the mistake of simply walking up to her and
saying “Hi. I’m very cool as I’m writing a spy thriller” any more than
you should say that you own a Ferrari or manage a hedge fund or
something similar. Instead, you should communicate your value
covertly. Like this:
“So you use a Dell? You know I used to have an HP when I was
travelling through Europe. It was a little heavy, but it worked really
well. Not only was it fast, but it also has loads of memory, which was
useful for the project that I was working on at the time.”
There are two bits of bait in this short example. The first is the
mention of Europe. The second is the project. Most people are
interested in travel to some degree. Because you have mentioned
Europe but you haven’t been overly specific (e.g., you didn’t say
“when I travelled to Paris via Madrid and then spent three weeks in
Berlin before flying back home”) you have opened up the opportunity
for her to ask you a question, and because you have thrown in a
mention of your “project” (rather than your “spy novel set in the Cold
War involving a tough but tender, hard-drinking member of MI5 and
a Russian plot to assassinate a member of the British government”),
the field is open for her to ask questions about that too.
Conversation is perhaps the most difficult part of the daygame kit for
men to pick up, as the notion of talking aimlessly to a stranger about
random subjects seems counter to our naturally logical tendencies. It
is a skill, however, that we all need to master if we are to achieve
greater success with women.
The most important thing, though, when you’re in front of a girl is just
to keep talking no matter what happens. Don’t overly worry if what
you’re saying seems silly. Your aim is to get her to ask you a personal
question. It is at this point, when she has made an equitable
investment in the conversation, that you can proceed to the next part
of the interaction, the close. Keep talking long enough, throw in
enough bait, and sooner or later she is likely to make the kind of
investment that will give you the green light to proceed.
Once the girl has made an investment in the conversation by asking
you for some personal details, such as your name, age, or what you do
(and remember that these are far more potent indicators of interest in
the daytime than at night), you are ready to go for the close.
This really means one of three things: Either you ask for her phone
number to arrange a date for another time, take her phone number
and then get her to come out later that day, or take her on an instant
date. If you’re a newbie and are wondering what to do, the best option
is to simply take her number. Prolonging the interaction could be to
your detriment unless you’re confident that your social skills are on
point and that you’ll be able to strengthen your connection rather than
sabotage it.
 [48]

Indirect vs. Direct—Which Is

Really Better?

IN THIS CHAPTER, I explore “openers”—what you should actually

say when talking to a woman you’ve never met for the first time—and
tackle the age-old question of whether it’s better to go direct or
indirect.
Picture the scene. It’s 11:30 a.m., and you’ve just snuck out of the
office to walk around the block and clear your head after staring at
spreadsheets for the last three hours. As you head for the coffee shop
on the corner, in your peripheral vision you register a vision of beauty
—long hair, slim waist, and tapered legs revealed by a short pencil
skirt. You turn to look at the girl. Indeed, her face is as beautiful as
you had thought. You feel a strong biological pull, right down at the
level of DNA. Ancient forces are drawing you towards her, but fear
roots you to the spot. You could never simply just go and talk to a girl
like that. After all, what would you say?
You pause for a second, observing her as she passes, and now the
moment has gone, as it always does. Regretful and a little sad, you go
to pick up your latte before returning to your desk. I suspect that all of
us have encountered something like this at least once in our lives. For
me, memories of girls who “got away” can linger for months,
sometimes years afterwards. But what causes our hesitation in these
situations? It is a combination of fear and lack of an opener, i.e.,
something to say to a stranger without coming across as weird or
creepy.

A quick note about fear. Due to ancient bio-evolutionary factors that

are of very little relevance in the twenty-first century, the sight of an
exceptionally attractive women appears to instil a “fight or flight”
mentality in most men that prevents them from approaching. While
this is instinctual and beyond our control, it is also completely
unnecessary and counterproductive. Think about it. If you go up and
talk to that cute girl in the gym, what is the worst that can happen?
Probably that you will have a few seconds of innocuous chitchat, and
then she’ll politely excuse herself and go back to what she was doing
before.
It’s hardly Armageddon, is it?
Still, approach anxiety can be challenging and for some destabilizing,
but the best way through is simply to “feel the fear and do it anyway.”
Now we come on to the meat of the topic: the opener. What exactly do
you say to an attractive woman you’ve never met before but would
like to get to know when she’s walking down the street, picking up
her dry cleaning, or browsing the philosophy section of the local
bookstore? In essence, there are only two ways you can go—direct or
indirect.

A direct approach means that you go up to the girl and make plain
your romantic and sexual interest in her. An indirect approach is
where you go up and talk about something else—usually something
situational—as a means to initiating a conversation and hopefully
getting her phone number in the process.
Direct and indirect each have their good and bad points. Be aware,
though, that there is significant debate among men about which
approach is better. Only you will know what works best for you
depending on your aptitudes and the particular situation in which
you find yourself.
Direct
A direct opener is when you walk right up to a girl you’ve never met
before and make your intentions plain immediately. Examples of
direct openers I’ve used are: “Hey, you’re beautiful. [Holds hand out
to shake] I’m Troy” or “I noticed you walking by. You’re really cute,
so I had to come over and say hi.”
Advantages: There’s something very masculine about being
unashamed and open about your intentions and desires. A man who
has the courage to walk right up to a woman sober and tell her he
thinks she’s hot is rare and therefore attractive. Just by making the
approach you’ll go up a couple of points in her estimation,
particularly if you give the impression that this is something you’ve
done before with good results.
It also has the benefit of separating the wheat from the chaff in that
you will very quickly filter out girls who are not interested, and it’s
very difficult to get put in the friend zone when you’ve made your
interest explicit in this way
Disadvantages: Direct is a high-risk, high-reward strategy. If a girl is
even a little favourable to your look or vibe and you approach her
directly, it will blow her away, and you’re likely to get a phone
number and a date out of it. Other girls, however, may reject you right
off the bat, whereas had you gone in a little more “under the radar”
with indirect you would have had time to build up the attraction over
a longer period.
Indirect
Approach a girl in whom you are interested and talk about any other
topic apart from the fact that you are attracted to her and you’re
opening indirectly. In daygame encounters, indirect openers tend to
be situational. So you might, for example, ask a passing girl where the
nearest pet shop is or how to get to the train station as a way of
initiating a conversation.
In his book Day Bang, Roosh V advocates what he calls “elderly
openers.” One major difference between daygame and night game is
that during the day you should be a lot more low energy and less
cocky-funny. In fact, a better strategy is to err on the side of being a
little dull in the early stages of an interaction so as not to “scare the
cat.” An elderly opener is where you imagine what an elderly person
might say to a stranger while striking up a conversation and using
something similar on a girl. So, for example, if you meet at an airport,
you might ask her where she got her luggage from, how durable it is,
and if she finds it suitable for long- and short-haul trips.

Such chat is not intended to get her panties wet and will not in itself
land you a date with her. What it will do, though, is begin a
conversation and give her the opportunity to demonstrate that she is
open to talking. You can then transition on to other topics.
Advantages: Going indirect usually gives you more time to
demonstrate your personality (or “deliver your value”) and thus build
attraction and rapport. Phone numbers obtained through solid
indirect approaches can often be less flaky than from quick direct
approaches because if you’ve talked for longer on neutral topics the
girl will be more likely to feel that she “knows” you when you ask her
out for a date whereas the heroin shot of a direct approach where you
reveal your attraction up front can wear off quickly, leaving her with
the accurate impression that in fact she has no idea who you are.

Disadvantages: Transitioning from a conversation about luggage to

something more flirtatious can be tricky. Plus, if you’re not that
experienced, you might find yourself being put in the “friends” box
more often than not.
Roosh V has an obvious preference for indirect game and discusses
his reasoning here:
“Many say direct game is ‘better,’ but unfortunately we’re not able to
conduct scientific studies to prove either side. Even my conclusions
are based only on experience and anecdotal evidence. The main
problem I have with direct game is this: it shows your cards right
away and forces the girl to make a decision before you build up any
value besides your appearance and confidence. That’s not enough for
the majority of Western girls. You’re not giving her the time and
information she needs to weigh the pros and cons on sleeping with
you. Instead, immediately after the opener, you force her to decide
right then and there if she wants to get involved. She’ll bow out
(“Sorry I have a boyfriend”), or just be nice to you for the flattering
attention.”

The more value you have in terms of looks and status, the more direct
you can go. With massive value, you will be able to approach girls
saying they’re beautiful and sleep with them quickly without
difficulty, but you must decide for yourself if you have sufficient
initial value to be rewarded in such a way for a direct opener.
Wherever the indirect vs. direct argument stands, you’ll have to try
both and measure your results. Some men will do far better with one
and some the other. If you’re new to daygame, try each one fifty times
and measure your results.
 [49]

How To Take A Girl On An Instant

Date

ONE CONSIDERABLE BENEFIT of daygame is that it offers a

relatively even playing field in that a man can approach a beautiful
girl going about her business without having to pay a cover charge,
buy expensive drinks, or deal with cock blocks and other nonsense.
Another great thing about daygame is that it allows the canny player
the opportunity to take girls on mini “dates” there and then without
having to go through the rigamarole of texting to set up the meet.
Learning to initiate instant dates is a vital daygame skill: once
mastered, it will enable you to build up sufficient rapport to move
rapidly forward through the seduction process.

An instant date is what is says on the tin: it’s when you meet a girl
and take her on a “date” there and then. Simple, right? Yes, but as
with many concepts related to meeting women, it can at first be
counterintuitive for men. We have been socially conditioned to
assume that the “right” dating protocol is an exchange of contact
details and then a parting of ways, followed by the arrangement of a
date over text or social media some time later. Instant dates fly in the
face of this and can seem an intimidating prospect, even an
impossibility, before you try one out for yourself.
Most of the time you will be taking girls’ phone numbers and
contacting them by text later. This is how probably 80 percent of
daytime pulls happen. After all, if you meet a girl on the train in the
morning before work you probably won’t have the luxury of being
able to go for coffee with her there and then, but if the circumstances
and vibe are right, an instant date could really help you to move
things to the next level.
Perhaps you open a cute girl in the street. After having talked for a
while, hopefully she will have become relaxed and receptive to talking
to you and begun to show signs of interest. At this point, you could
simply take her phone number and walk on.

Another option is to take her on an instant date, perhaps for a coffee at

a nearby cafe. In my experience, the benefit of doing this is that it will
help to solidify the encounter in the girl’s mind, making it more real.
Make no mistake. Men can and do get laid from fizzy, two-minute
encounters on the street, where phone numbers are exchanged and
contact is initiated later.
The danger here, though, is that once the “high” of being approached
has subsided for the girl, she will realize that she actually knows very
little about you, which can trigger scepticism (“He’s probably a player
who does this all the time”) or even fear (“He’s a complete stranger”),
making it unlikely that she will respond when you contact her.
An instant date can alleviate these fears. Talking to her for longer also
allows you to show more of your personality and make a stronger
impression. Also, given how uncommon instant dates are, it will also
communicate confidence and social savvy.
Instant dates are not without their pitfalls. If you are not a good
conversationalist, there’s a danger that the instant date could fall flat
as you run out of stream, making things awkward. There is also
something to be said for the archetype of the “sexy stranger” who
sweeps in, takes her phone number, and then disappears. If you fail to
maintain some mystery and attraction over your latte, you may find
yourself being dumped in the “friend” box. Rapport is always a tricky
part of seduction: you need enough to ensure she knows you’re not a
threat and that you “get on,” at least superficially, but too much
before attraction is sparked merely generates tepid feelings of
friendship.

Getting a girl to go on an instant date with you is actually not that

difficult, provided your approach and initial chat has gone well and
she doesn’t have to be somewhere in the next half hour or so.
Imagine you are doing daygame and now you have a girl standing in
front of you who likes you. At this point, you’re ready to pull an
instant date. Here’s how you do it.

First of all, you should always remember to put in a false time

constraint up front. After all, you don’t want her to think that you
intend to monopolize her whole day at this stage. I usually say
something like this:
“Listen, I’ve only got twenty minutes before my next meeting …”
[Casual and brief]
“ … but I was going to grab a coffee at Barista Heaven down the
street. You should come.”
The idea is to make the proposition seem very relaxed, but at the same
time you should ensure you sound gently commanding. It’s better to
say “you should come” or “come with me” rather than asking her
with a weak “would you like to come with me?”
If you can make the instant date sound off the cuff and fun but ensure
that you are leading the interaction rather than begging for a favour,
you’ll see more successes.
Once she’s agreed, where do you take her? For me, coffee shops tend
to be the default. While I would never take a girl on a “proper” date to
a coffee shop, as it is always beneficial to go somewhere that serves
alcohol to help lubricate things, in the daytime an alcoholic drink may
not be so readily accepted. I also wouldn’t go for food, as you then get
into the issue of who pays, plus some guys are messy eaters, which
won’t help your cause either.

Once you’re in the venue, continue to chat informally without grilling

her or asking too many “interview”-style questions. Talk about
yourself, your interests and projects, but take care not to do so in a
boastful way. You should aim to make her feel comfortable, while at
the same time you should retain some mystery or edge. If you like,
drop in very mild teases now and again.
At the end of twenty minutes (or whatever time limit you set), look at
your watch, and tell her that you have to go. Don’t let her be the first
one to leave. Ideally, you want to go slightly early so that she’s left
wanting more. Don’t tell her you’ll message her later or make
elaborate plans for the next date. Instead, leave her wondering when
you’ll next be in touch, so when you do message she’ll be pleasantly
surprised
Occasionally, an instant date can turn into a same-day lay. This very
much depends on the type of girl, the circumstances, and how
attracted she is to you. There’s no single rule to tell if things are
heading in that direction, as there are so many variables, but if you
sense a girl you’ve met that day through a cold approach may be
down to take things further, don’t make the mistake of bailing too
early and losing an opportunity that may not repeat itself.

In a situation that looks promising, it’s worth changing venues a few

times or going for a walk. Don’t stay in the same place all day. If it’s
coming up to evening time, at this point you can suggest an alcoholic
drink. What you’re really aiming for is to bounce her back to your
place, and logistics are here around where you live and so on.
The best way of getting her to come back to your place is to say, for
example, “There’s this great movie on my computer you’ll really love.
Come over for a bit and we’ll watch it.” Again, the trick is to lead
rather than to ask. Doing so will give you an air of confidence that she
will find attractive, even if for whatever reason she can’t come back
with you on that occasion.
 [50]

Stop Worrying About Specific

Game Tactics, And Learn To Be
“That Guy” Hot Girls Love

TOO MANY GUYS ARE OBSESSED with becoming great at daygame

or brilliant at night game or amazing at Tinder game, forgetting that it
is not the method but the results that really count. Rather than
wasting valuable energy focussing on perfecting a particular game
“craft,” men should instead simply focus on becoming “that guy”—
the man who is “sexworthy” as a result of his being prepared to hit on
women under any and all circumstances.
As most readers will be aware, game is a discipline that is really as old
as time but which has been documented and studied seriously by men
since Eric Weber’s How to Pick Up Girls and then some two decades
later Neil Strauss’s The Game . Since then there has been a whole
plethora of game material released, some of fine quality and some less
so. Nevertheless, it is fair to say that game has become a legitimate
area of intellectual inquiry.
Most early game books focused on ways to talk to women in
traditional pickup environments, such as nightclubs and bars. What
we’ve seen in the last few years, though, is a schism within the pickup
cognoscenti, with some men producing content largely related to
night game, while others concentrate solely on daygame. I am not sure
that this is wholly of benefit to men learning pickup.
Does daygame work? Yes, absolutely. Are there techniques and tactics
to be considered that you wouldn’t use in a night game situation.
Again, yes. Is daygame therefore worthy of books and articles
dedicated to it solely? Yes.
An issue arises, however, when men begin to fetishize classic street
daygame above all other types of game and treat it almost as
something religious, where to run any other type of game feels
sacrilegious. For there are daygame writers and content creators who
disdain online and app game and will sometimes disparage night
game as though it were little more than a matter of securing the best
table in the club and buying the most champagne.
These men have websites, You Tube channels, books, and other
products all solely dedicated to daygame. Some of it is of a very high
quality, but there is a danger that men who are impressionable will
come away with the idea that daygame is the only way to meet girls.

Daygame, we are led to believe, is somehow purer than other forms of

game, more authentic. Simply a superior way to get laid.
Now, if you are pulling 1+ new young, hot girls a month consistently
through daygame alone, then good luck to you. If you’re not, though
—and a great many men, even those who go out a lot, aren’t—then
perhaps you would be well advised to supplement your daygame
with other methods.
The overarching problem with the cult of daygame is that it
encourages a fan base of guys to run around the streets of major
European and U.S. cities attempting to outdo one another in imitating
their YouTube heroes. In London when the sun comes out, you will
see loads of guys in their identikit black leather jackets and tight jeans
and boots—some of them well groomed, many not—hitting on young
women out buying terrible clothes in Primark. In many cases, these
men would be far better advised to keep in mind the endgame
—actually getting laid rather than imitating YouTube videos—and
working up an efficient strategy for accomplishing this goal.
Far better to practice “always on” game. Far better to simply become
“that guy” who always hits on women regardless of his surroundings.
It is often observed that alpha males get away with far more than their
beta male counterparts when dealing with women. This is because
when a women meets you she will automatically, within a few short
minutes, put you into a box, or category, in her mind. Once you’re in
this box, it’s very hard to climb out, and if she sees you behaving in a
way that suggests you’re trying to, she will get freaked out.
If she sees you—like most men she comes into contact with—as a
pleasant but unchallenging beta—you will soon be consigned to the
friend zone box, which means that while she may like you, find you
funny, and enjoy your company, she will never, ever have sex with
you.
If, though, when you first meet she finds you cocky, arrogant, funny,
challenging, and a little inappropriate, she will put you into the
“potential lover” box. Once you’re in this latter box, you’ll be able to
get away with a lot more—rude comments and jokes, sexually
suggestive lines—even if you never end up hooking up with her.
As an example, there is a man at my workplace whom I’ll call Jamie.
He has reality TV show looks and dress sense, is a lad who likes a
drink, a football game, and a joke with the guys, and is loved by a
bunch of the girls we work with. He’s what you might call a natural at
game.
To my knowledge, he has actually had sex with only one girl in the
office (the prettiest “good girl,” funnily enough), but because he is
“that guy” he is able to get away with the most outrageous flirty
banter with the others, even in an environment ruled over with the
iron fist of a female-led HR department
Do you seriously think a natural like Jamie cares where he meets the
girls he sleeps with? Of course he doesn’t. The office, the street, the
pub, the club, Tinder, Bumble—it’s all the same to him. Girls are girls,
and he is “that guy” who flirts with girls wherever he finds them.
In fact, I suspect that if you told Jamie that there are men who make it
their business to meet girls only by approaching them while out
shopping during the day he’d find it more than a little odd. After all,
where is the sense in limiting yourself to only one source when there
are so many others available?
It is possible to learn a lot from naturals simply by watching the way
they operate in the sexual marketplace. While there is absolutely
nothing wrong with learning game, if there are men out there, who—
like child prodigies expert at playing the piano at an extremely young
age—“just get” how it should be between men and women, why not
emulate them?
How do you become “that guy.” A whole book could be written on
that subject, but the first thing you need to do is to start viewing
women everywhere as potential conquests and approaching them as
such.
As with most forms of behaviour, if you start “doing” first, the
“becoming” will follow on quite naturally afterwards. Why not pick
out a natural like Jamie that you know and start copying some of his
behaviours. As you now view girls as potential sex partners rather
than “that girl in the bookstore” or “that girl in the lift in my building”
or “that girl standing by the cigarette machine in the restaurant or
hotel lobby,” when you speak to them, this will communicate itself
naturally, and you will find that these interactions are more sparky
and flirtatious.
You need to understand that it’s not just girls who put guys in boxes
—guys put girls in boxes too. Think about it for a second. “She’s a
shop assistant. I couldn’t approach her.” “She’s selling programmes at
this theatre. I won’t approach her.” “She’s working in the cloakroom
at this restaurant I’ve come to with my client. I won’t approach her.”

For a gender who supposedly wants to get laid all the time, men pass
up so many opportunities. It’s almost as if we don’t really want to
have sex, given the number of women we will mentally label as off
limits.
From today, then, stop thinking in terms of daygame, night game,
Tinder game, or whatever. Instead, keep your eyes open, and
remember that every woman you come into contact with could
equally be moaning with pleasure in your bed and behave
accordingly towards her. Limiting yourself to one type of game makes
no sense. Becoming “that guy” and creating opportunities everywhere
will give your sex life a much-needed boost, so stop shooting yourself
in the foot.
 [51]

Sorry, But Attraction Alone Is Not

Enough

MEN OFTEN WONDER how they can create attraction in women.

Indeed, it is probably one of the most talked about topics in game,
which is why newbies set such on openers. They believe that if they
can just come up with that perfect line, that clever gambit, the girl will
be so attracted that she will instantly fall into bed with him.
Unfortunately, what you will learn after a period of time in the field is
that just as words are cheap so is attraction.
A friend of mine recently told me about how attracted this girl he had
been working on had gotten to him at a party. She had made all the
right signs—playing with her hair, following him around, making
“anime eyes.”
“Did you have sex with her?” I asked.
“No. I had to leave early.”
“So have you spoken to her since?”
His brow furrowed a little. He was troubled.
“No. Funny thing is, she hasn’t replied to the text I sent her yesterday
yet.”
It goes without saying that he’s still waiting for her response. It’s
highly unlikely he’ll ever see her again.

The unfortunate fact is that just as men get turned on by many women
on any given day, so girls are also attracted to many different guys. It
may not be as many, as due to their higher levels of testosterone, men
tend to be more horny on average, but the principle remains. She may
well have been attracted to you in that moment, but unless you
capitalize on this and escalate, the chances are her mind will be on
some other man later on that same day.

In essence, game is a binary proposition. You either get the girl (that
is, sleep with her) or you don’t. There is no middle ground. Or,
actually there is, but no one wants to be there. It’s called the friend
zone.
We must also contend with the fact that girls have so many more
opportunities today with Facebook, Tinder, Instagram, and Snapchat
orbiters circling them like flies. This means that even if you seemed
like a sexworthy prospect in the coffee shop at lunchtime, she could
well end up sleeping with someone else that same night.
Men looking to maximize their opportunities with women today must
work fast and be efficient. As soon as you see a sign of attraction or an
indicator of interest (IOI), you must escalate. How you do this will
depend on the situation. If the IOI is from a cute shop assistant, ask for
her number. If it’s from a girl in a busy nightclub, approach, chat, and
then move close and kiss her. After you’ve kissed her, game her some
more until she’s ready to go home with you. If she refuses your
advance, smile politely and move on to the next prospect.
Remember that nothing is certain until you have had sex with her,
which is why you must always push for tangible outcomes be they
positive or negative.
As an example, take something that happened to me recently. I was
getting really strong signals from a girl who works in my local coffee
shop—exceptional eye contact, her blushing whenever I came in, flirty
chat. I asked for her number, which she gave me willingly, and we
messaged back and forth for a while.
Text game is a big subject, but I tend to use texting primarily for
setting up dates rather than for pumping female state. While the latter
can certainly be effective, it is risky. Get it wrong and you can put the
girl off for good. In this case, I ran my usual text game and tried to
organize a meet. It was over Christmas, and the festivities got in the
way a little, but I sensed that she was being somewhat evasive.
Finally, the trail died altogether, and she stopped responding. Why?
We can speculate, but really, who knows? It’s unimportant anyway.
Here was a girl who had shown every indication of being into me, and
yet nothing tangible came of it.
Fortunately, because of my experience in these matters, I wasn’t
disappointed. I hadn’t been at all excited when she gave me the
number. I simply put her in the pipeline and gamed her like all the
other girls I’m currently working on. When she went quietly, I soon
forgot about her.
I may send her a ping test in a couple of weeks to see if the situation
has changed. Or maybe not. No big deal. For newbies who encounter
this, though, I would advise you delete the contact details of girls who
behave in this manner. The worst thing you can possibly do is get
oneitus for some girl who has artificially increased her value by
appearing unattainable.

Game is very much like playing the financial markets. You should
never hold onto a failing position for too long. You must also insulate
yourself from loss by having many other options open. The only real
way to beat the market is through abundance, and you achieve that by
hard work on many different prospects out in the field.
 [52]

Here’s Why You Don’t Deserve

That Perfect 10

We all know that rejection is a big part of game. Many game writers
like to pretend that rejection is “not personal.” This isn’t true.
Rejection from a woman is always about you and you alone. Accept it,
learn from it, and move on.
Perhaps you are new to the game or maybe you’ve been out of it for a
long while due to a long-term relationship or marriage. Either way,
even if you’re the world’s most insecure guy, the chances are you will
overestimate your SMV (sexual market value) by five points.
Yes, that’s right. Most men new to game think they are five points
higher than the women they approach rate them.

If you’ve sat in your bedroom for a decade reading game articles

online, watching YouTube videos, and masturbating without taking
action, you’ve never challenged yourself. You’ve never collected real-
world data to test your hypothesis about your worth.
It is only by going out into the real world, approaching real-life
women, and hitting on them (and making it obvious that you’re doing
so) that you will get feedback that is worth anything.
Unless you’re a natural, that feedback will likely indicate “sorry,
you’re not good enough.”
Fake game writers who want clicks will tell you that a woman
rejecting you is not personal.

This is irresponsible misinformation.

If you stand in front of a woman for more than five seconds and make
it clear that you want to have sex with her but she refuses you and
doesn’t even flirt or seem a little bit pleased, you can be certain that it
has something to do with you personally.
How could it not?

I’m not saying that other factors don’t come into play. They do.
Perhaps she is in a bad mood. Perhaps she feels ill. Perhaps her dog
just died. Perhaps she has a boyfriend, but imagine you were Ryan
Gosling, George Clooney, or Justin Bieber. Do you think she’d turn
you down then? Or do you think she wouldn’t at least giggle, blush,
and act a little bit flattered?
Of course she would.
In love and sex as well as in business, the cold truth is that men and
women want the best deal possible for themselves. As a man, you
naturally want to sleep with the most attractive girl you can. If you
had a choice between two girls, one homely and the other a Sports
Illustrated model, any man being honest with himself would pick the
model.
It’s the same with women. They want the best return they can get in
the market for their worth (determined by their looks and age).
This tendency doesn’t go away just because a person is married or has
a partner. In some cases, it intensifies. Once a woman has settled
down with a man, it is only natural that she will scan the market from
time to time to check that she’s made the best investment possible.
This being the case, if you approach, set out your stall, and don’t even
get a flicker of warmth back, you need to have a look at yourself and
what you might be doing wrong.
I’m not saying you’ll get every girl. Not all married women will
succumb to you. Neither will all girls with partners. Yes, a girl might
just have been passed over for a promotion at work and not feel like
chitchatting with a random in her local coffee shop, but think about it
like this—everyone has a price. If someone came up to you in the
street and offered to give you $1m, you’d take it, right?
If you were displaying enough value, she would at least be flattered
and might even allow things to go further. That she didn’t must, in
part at least, be a reflection on the way you are presenting yourself to
the world.
People in the manosphere talk about the sexual marketplace.
Evolutionary psychologists, such as David M. Buss (The Evolution of
Desire ), talk about the sexual marketplace. It’s not pretty, it’s not
romantic, but it’s real. Every human being has a sexual market value
that is apparent to others around him or her.
Granted that a person’s SMV goes up and down throughout their life.
Look at the actress Denise Richards now compared to ten years ago.
Or look at men like David Beckham who become more handsome
with age.
Your SMV will also vary depending on where you are in the world. I
got loads of attention from women in Moscow, for example, probably
disproportionate to what I get in other places, but everywhere you go
you will be judged, and women, having a biological imperative to
ensure the best possible genes for their offspring, have a razor-sharp
antennae for male SMV. It’s a value exchange: your looks, status, and
power for sex, and the harsh fact is that if you’re not showing enough
value you won’t get even a sniff of that sex.
You can read all the articles about game you like. You can learn
techniques. All of that is great. But you need to improve your value at the
same time.
Luckily for men, male SMV is based on things other than looks. Dress
sense, body shape, power (as communicated, e.g., through social
savvy, business ability) are all extremely important.

It seems strange that I am still banging the drum for very basic self-
improvement for men who want to go out and meet girls, and yet
men still come to me for advice on how to pull 10s while they have
bad haircuts, bad clothes, and nerdy demeanours. Get all that sorted
out. It’s important, and you won’t start making real progress until you
do.

Remember that if that perfect 10 you approached doesn’t think you’re

good enough for her chances are that in one way or another she’s
probably right.
 [53]

7 Tips For No-Strings Sex

FOR MANY MEN, scoring no-strings sex with a hot girl is the
pinnacle of game. The hotter the girl and the easier the sex, the better.
This is not to say that men don’t want to get into relationships or
foster a deeper connection at a later stage, merely that at certain times,
uncomplicated mutual release is preferable to the complications of
anything more involved.
How do you go about meeting a chick willing to sign up to be your
fuck buddy, and how do you manage the relationship when you do?
The following tips will help:
1. Pick the right girl
The reality is that some girls, depending on their life stage and
circumstances, will have a greater desire or propensity to be fuck
buddies than others. Your task is to target the right ones.
In general, younger girls—those in their early twenties—are more
carefree, less concerned about their biological clocks, and thus more
inclined towards casual relationships. Also—and this is key—girls
who have just come out of relationships can be particularly keen
because having just been through the emotional turmoil of a
relationship, the last thing they want is to get into another one, but
that doesn’t mean they don’t want sex.
Girls are horny creatures, and they love to fuck. You simply need to
position yourself as the right guy at the right time.
2. Set the "fuck buddy" frame from the start

You must set the correct frame from the start—that is, you must
NEVER position yourself as a potential boyfriend, and you must make
it clear—covertly—that this is all about sex and nothing more. What
this means in practice is that if she tells you she already has a
boyfriend you should say something such as “I’m not looking to steal
you away from him,” thus identifying yourself as a lover rather than a
provider.

You must also escalate to sex on the first date or at the very latest on
the second. This is not about courtship and her assessing your
suitability as a potential partner but rather about quickly establishing
a mutually satisfying arrangement for uncomplicated sex.
3. Don’t act like her boyfriend
How you behave the first few times you meet will determine how she
views you and in which box in her life she compartmentalizes you. If
you steadfastly avoid doing the kinds of things a boyfriend would do,
such as taking her for dinner, suggesting weekends away, and
cooking for her, she will quickly understand the situation.
You want to get to a position where you send her booty-call texts at
short notice telling her to come over to your place with no preamble.
Don’t contact her too frequently in between meetings. Keep text
messages short and logistical, and don’t ask her whether or not she’s
seeing other guys.
All of this is not to say that you can’t have fun with her too. I often
take my FB for a few drinks to relax us, and we’ll chat about what’s
going on in her life before going home to fuck, but there is a very clear
understanding that the real purpose of our meetings is the sex rather
than the socializing.
4. Don’t break the fourth wall
Don’t be explicit about what’s going on. Women are masters of covert
communication, and you should be too. Saying something like “isn’t it
cool how we just meet up to fuck and there’s never going to be
anything more between us” not only lacks class, but it also risks
triggering her anti-slut defence instinct.
Once the true nature of your association is externalized, it might just
perish. Far better just to chill and say nothing. She knows what’s
going on.
5. Exercise 100% discretion

Even today most young women don’t want to appear to be sluts in

front of their friends by having sex with men they barely know or on a
casual basis outside of a relationship. You must demonstrate through
your every action that you are a 100% safe pair of hands who won’t
blow her cover and will keep your activities a secret.
Quash any desire you might have to brag to your friends about
fucking her, particularly if you have acquaintances in common. If it
gets back to her that you’ve been talking, the goose may just stop
laying those golden eggs. Ask yourself what is more important to you
—the validation you get from your friends or the sex itself.
I have an FB who works for the same organization as I do. We’ve been
meeting for several months. In that time, I haven’t told a single one of
my colleagues about the situation. We hardly speak or even look at
one another at work. An outside observer would have no inkling that
we even know one another.
What is even more interesting is that I don’t think she’s told anyone
either (even though a close personal friend of hers also works there),
which demonstrates the degree to which women will hide their secret
sexual liaisons. This is how the “secret society” works. Women have
sex with those they regard as alpha sexworthy figures, and literally no
one else is any the wiser.
Show that you, too, are a secret society member and that you
understand this and you’ll be reap the rewards.
6. Make sure the sex is good

It goes without saying, but if the main thing you are offering her is sex
and you want her to keep coming back for more, you must ensure that
the sex is good or at least better than what may be available to her
elsewhere. I don’t intend to go into a sex tutorial here, as there are
plenty of sources available online, but what I would say is make sure
you’re in good physical shape. Do compound weights in the gym and
some form of cardio and then fuck her like it’s your last time each
time you see her. That will keep her satisfied and hungry for more.
Another benefit of the FB arrangement is that you can explore more
advanced sexual fantasies together, such as threesomes and fetish
clubs. Do this because not only is it fun, but you will also keep her
intrigued. Show that you are a man before whom she can reveal all of
her deepest sexual desires and that you are non-judgmental and
accommodating, and this will pay rich dividends.
One other point. Although frowned upon by many, watching porn is
the sex education that many of us never had. It can really help. Just
don’t get carried away and let it demotivate you.
7. Accept that she may be fucking other men, and that one day she
will stop fucking you

Because you are not putting pressure on her about whether or not she
is seeing other men, the fact is that she might well be, particularly in
today’s fevered and hypersexual hookup culture. Don’t ask, don’t
sweat it, and just make sure you always use condoms.
In the end, it doesn’t really matter if she’s banging other men or not.
You’re getting what you’re getting, and that’s fine.
Finally, understand that FB relationships are not built to last. They are
defined by their inherent obsolescence. This is just the nature of
things. Learn to accept it, and enjoy what you have for the moment.
Don’t get emotionally attached. Learn to compartmentalize. Some
girls are keepers or at least potential keepers, while others are
transitory companions. You are in a sweet spot, so don’t find reasons
to complain.
This is not to say that an FB can’t be converted into a girlfriend, but
unless you really like her, if you have abundance, this shouldn’t be
necessary anyway.
 [54]

What To Do When She Stops

Replying To Your Texts

MANY MEN COME TO ME looking for answers to problems they

have with girls. While these vary in the details, inevitably they all
point to a much bigger issue. The man who has sought help just does
not have enough options. Rather than look for quick, silver bullet fixes
for difficulties with this or that girl, what the alpha would do is seek
out other opportunities elsewhere.
I was recently chatting with my good friend Nick over WhatsApp.
Nick had met a cute girl in a bar, chatted her up, enjoyed a quick
makeout, and then taken her number before leaving. The next
morning he sent the girl (let’s call her Alice) a message, and she
responded, leading to several rounds of flirtatious WhatsApp banter.
Then, just as he was about to go in for the kill and ask her to meet up
with him, she stopped responding. Just like that. The whole
interaction was dead in the water.
Puzzled and perturbed by this turn of events, Nick contacted me and
asked what he should do to reignite Alice’s interest and get things
back on track. While text game is certainly a skill and there are
techniques you can try to pull back in such a situation, in the end
Nick’s problem is macro rather than micro.
Why did Alice flake on Nick? Who knows? It could be for any number
of reasons, many of them entirely unconnected with Nick. Perhaps
Alice actually had a boyfriend or fiancé and was feeling guilty.
Perhaps she had been horrendously drunk that night and couldn’t
remember what he looked like. Perhaps, and this is the killer, she had
already hooked up with someone new whom she was more attracted
to than Nick. Or perhaps she had simply lost her phone.
In most such cases, you will never know the woman’s reasoning. Nor
should you want to. What do you want? Closure?
Closure is for girls, my friend.

The sexual marketplace is a cold, wild, barren, and unfriendly place.

When you interact with strangers (as the girls that you meet through
pickup inevitably are), you run the risk of playing with emotional fire.
Remember that everyone is out for what they can get, you included.
You want to meet and sleep with the hottest girl that your SMV will
afford, but girls have an agenda too. They also want to meet the
“hottest” man that they can get. It’s just in their case the definition of
“hot” might expand to encompass such things as status, influence,
wealth, or even “bad boy” indicators.
You may have been in the frame for that hour you spent talking to her
and making out with her in the club, but have no doubt that she has
other options, other guys blowing up her phone asking for a date.
That’s not to say that a clever piece of “text game”—a smart quip or
cocky-funny line—could never help in such a situation. It is just
possible that delivered correctly such a line could indeed prompt her
reappraisal of you, but realise that the cards are stacked against you,
and that such a turnaround is unlikely.
You must recognise that the modern dating arena is a ruthless place,
where everyone is out for themselves. Don’t be fooled by a pleasant
half-hour conversation with a girl at a lounge bar or a makeout at a
friend’s party. Girls especially tend to act on their feelings in the
moment. OK, so when she met you at 2:00 a.m. after she’d drunk three
Sambucas you seemed to her like the perfect guy, but that doesn’t
mean she’s feeling the same way on Tuesday morning at work,
especially after that cute guy on Tinder has started messaging her
again or that male model on the subway passed her his business card.
Life moves on very quickly, especially for hot young women.

The only way you can insulate yourself from the vagaries of the
sexual marketplace and ensure that you don’t leave money on the
table is by constantly filling your pipeline with potential sexual and
romantic prospects. As in sales, the only way you can ensure a
consistent “income” is by opening new prospects every day.
Remember that the more girls you approach, the more opportunities
will open up to you, and the more opportunities you have, the better
your chance of having regular sex.
Rather than worrying about the minutiae of an interaction with this or
that girl, you want to be in the position where you have so many girls
“on the go” on text, WhatsApp, Facebook, Tinder, or whatever that
you really couldn’t care less if one or two drop out of the funnel each
week. It is only by systematically approaching every day that you will
achieve this goal. Once you have a regular girl you like or several
regular girls, depending on your preference, (but not until then) will
you be in a position to slow down and adjust this strategy.
 [55]

Use The “One Strike” Rule To

Improve Your Dating Life

WHEN YOU ARE INTERACTING with women, and in particular

with a new woman you’ve just met, you must think carefully, decide
how much you are willing to put up with, and ensure that you are not
taken for a ride.
I would like to propose here that you adopt the “one strike” rule—a
rule that states you cut off a new woman immediately as soon as she
makes a mistake or does something that makes you mad. Perhaps this
seems unduly harsh, but I believe that in today’s dating market there
are good reasons for men to adhere to it strictly.
Men should not be expected to put up with flakey behaviour. It’s
annoying, it can be emotionally bruising, but worst of all it’s time
consuming. That thirty minutes you spent waiting for a girl to turn up
for your first date would have been better spent reading a book,
sending out sales emails for your business, or working on other
prospects.
We are often blinded by women’s beauty to such an extent that we
forget what our real priorities are: ourselves, our livelihoods, and our
health. A woman should be there primarily as a form of
entertainment: the dessert rather than the main course.
A while ago I met a hot Moldovan girl on the subway in London. We
started chatting, and I elicited her phone number pretty easily. If
you’ve ever met a girl from Moldova, you’ll know how hot they can
be, and this one—I’ll call her Veronica—certainly didn’t disappoint.
With long dark hair, a round, doll-like face, and an intriguingly curvy
body beneath her tight grey stretch dress, she was exactly my type
and at least an eight on my scale.
We went out for drinks. Using my now trademarked “date” formula, I
got her back to my place and all but naked pretty easily.
Unfortunately, for whatever reason, she didn’t want to go the whole
way that night, and so I was unable to seal the deal. Actually, that was
fine with me. I was tired, had work the next day, and was more than
happy to call it a night.
The other point is that quite frequently girls of Russian or Moldovan
extraction are less than willing to give it up so soon. Had I taken my
own advice, I should have cut her off there and then. The issue was
not so much that she had not slept with me, which was fine, but more
that she had given me blue balls all night and kept me up late for no
purpose.
The problem is that girls can be a narcotic. Take one hit and you want
to smoke the whole pipe, so to speak. Against my better judgement, I
agreed to meet Veronika for another drink. After hanging around for
nearly twenty minutes, it became apparent that she wasn’t going to
turn up.
When I was back home an hour later, I received a message from her
asking if I was still out. Despite her extreme tardiness, she had
actually expected me to still be there waiting for her.
I was taken for a sucker. It happens, even after many years in game.
Unfortunately, things sometimes don’t gel with a particular girl or
logistics don’t work out or she’ll turn out to have been a time waster
all along. It’s just the way things are. As soon as I received that last
text message, I deleted her phone number and never spoke to her
again. The lesson is that I should have done it sooner after the blue
balls incident in my room.
If a woman is difficult and unforthcoming at the beginning, you can
be sure that things will only get worse as your interaction continues,
whether it be over days, weeks, months, or even years. Save yourself
the trouble and employ the one strike rule: ditch her early so that you
can work on other prospects.
Remember that one of the cornerstones of game is developing a sense
of abundance. Ideally, you will have other girls on the go whom you
can use as substitutes, but if you don’t, remember how many billions
of women there are in the world apart from her.
Life is too short, and time too precious to hold onto a prospect that is
clearly bad from the start when there are many others out there just
waiting for you to approach them.
 [56]

A Nuclear Test Women Will Throw

At You And How to Pass It

MOST MEN WHO KNOW about game will be familiar with “shit
tests,” a fairly unpleasant term for those annoying tests girls throw in
to try to determine a your fitness as a sexual partner. While these may
be annoying, current game thinking posits that they are actually great
opportunities to shine by smashing the test and proving your
“alphaness” at the same time.
There is one particular test, however, that more experienced players
are often exposed to that is particularly irksome but that must be
negotiated if you hope to progress in the higher ranks of game.
To recap for anyone who wasn’t listening at the back, shit tests are
those annoying little curveballs that women throw into interactions,
basically to try to determine if you are really the rock-solid player
you’re trying to be. To men who are just starting out, it seems
counterintuitive that a girl should start being deliberately obstructive
when she actually otherwise appears to like you. In fact, it’s entirely
logical.
Girls want the highest-quality partners that their SMV can attract.
When a man walks up to her and does a pretty good job of conveying
high value, she will be pleased but cautious. Is he really what he
claims to be? To make sure, she will drop in “beta bait” questions such
as the following:
 •Are you a player?
•Are you like this with all the girls?
•Does this usually work?
•Is that your chat-up line?
The danger for the newbie is to fold into the girl’s frame and say what
he thinks she wants to hear, e.g., “No, I’m not a player, young lady.
I’m a very nice young man who would like to wife you up and buy
you a car and a nice house with a white picket fence in the suburbs.”
Of course, this would be fatal. The girl is testing to see if you have the
confidence of your convictions.
Generally speaking, the less advanced a guy is, the fewer shit tests he
will have to overcome, which is mostly because women tend to take
pity on men they regard as weaker and so won’t give them as hard a
time. Whatever you do, never fall into the trap of imagining that not
getting tests at all is a good thing—quite the opposite. In fact, if
anything it suggests that your game isn’t on point, your demeanour
not sufficiently dominant.
If you are getting tests, that’s good because it indicates that you are in
the game. The best strategy is either to agree and amplify, e.g., “Am I
a player? Hell, yeah, you wanna join my six other girls back home?”
or simply smile and ignore the tests by changing the subject.

This latter strategy is increasingly the one I use, and it produces good
results. Plus, it also has the advantage of not having any complicated
lines to remember. Considerable material is available on the best ways
to get around tests, but sometimes the best policy is simply to do
nothing and make her squirm with embarrassment for having been so
gauche before your oak-like serenity.
One particular test, though, is in a different league from the rest, and
it is not a test that new or even lower-intermediate men are likely to
get on a regular basis because it pertains to the direct expression of
sexual desire for the girl, and most men are simply too scared of being
up front about what they want (sex) and thus hide their true urges
behind a cloud of friend zone-worthy blabber.
I recall once reading on a website that game nirvana for a man was
being able to take an elegant young woman out, and over a glass of
wine tell her he would like to bend her over and fuck her. At the time,
new to the game, such brazen honesty seemed entirely impossible. I
could have more easily conceived of knitting a stepladder to the moon
than of doing any such thing.
Times have changed. These days after endless repetition in similar
situations I am able to be up front sexually with women, and arguably
perhaps I go too far sometimes. As horny as you can get a girl in a bar
by whispering what you’re going to do to her when you get her home,
it can backfire when her anti-slut defence wall goes up, she goes
home, and you’re left alone.
Now I tend to follow my horniness and tell girls precisely what I’m
thinking, particularly if we’re on a date and the potential for sex is
imminent. This has left me open to the nuclear shit test, though, which
goes something like this:
“You just want to get laid. You’re desperate for sex.”
There’s something a little unfair about this and not only because it’s
not true. These days I am never “desperate” for sex, as it can so easily
be acquired elsewhere. No, it’s unfair because the girl is calling me out
in spite of what I’m doing is actually pretty alpha.
I’m willing to bet that most of the girls I’ve dated have rarely been
with a man who has had the confidence to be so up front with them
right off the bat (in fact, many girls have told me this themselves), but
that degree of masculine honesty is not enough. They still seek to
destabilise me by aiming straight for the central pillar of my approach,
undercutting the idea that it might be sheer courage that allows me to
be so forthright and suggesting it’s desperation instead.
The female psyche is nothing if not clever.
The first thing to say is that if you get the nuclear test you are by no
means at a disadvantage. I have slept with pretty much every girl
who’s thrown something like this at me.

The number one strategy, as always, is simply not to back down.

Whatever you do you can’t, at this stage, try to backpedal and say that
you’re not actually interested in sex. That would be ridiculous and
counterproductive and not true to your masculine self. What you have
to decide is whether to continue on the course you’ve already set (i.e.,
rapid escalation) or whether to pull back a little and allow the
situation to breathe.
Deciding what to do really comes down to calibration, something that
cannot be taught easily in a book. At the same time, if you are eliciting
such a test from a girl it is likely that you are pretty experienced
already, so draw on that to decide whether or not you think she might
be up for something that night. If so, then proceed as before. If not,
you need to apply the brakes. Here’s what you say:
“Of course, I want to have sex with you. I’m a man, you’re a woman,
and I’m attracted to you. It’s only natural.”
Then you should lean back, ensure that you’re not touching her, and
turn the conversation to more neutral topics. In this way, you will
defuse the test while still maintaining your frame, which is vital if you
are to pick up where you left off later that night or on another
occasion.
Remember that shit tests from girls are never a bad thing. In fact, they
show that you’re proceeding along the right lines. Keep going, and
just be very careful not to bend your position to suit what you think
she wants to hear. Doing so will mean you will inevitably lose the girl.
 [57]

7 Steps To Follow When Your

Game Hits A Dry Spot

WE’VE ALL BEEN THERE. It happens to the best of us from time to

time. Perhaps you’re out of practice for one reason or another. Maybe
you’ve been in a long-term relationship or working on a business or
school project. Perhaps you’ve just allowed yourself to get lazy.
Whatever it is, if a man is not consistently practising his game skills,
they will start to atrophy and in the worst cases recede to a troubling
degree.
When this happens, things that used to be easy, such as walking up
and opening a girl in a nightclub or on the street, suddenly become
intimidating, and when you do force yourself to do them you come
over as stilted and dry and bomb horribly.

If you find this happening to you, don’t panic. It’s not forever, and
simply by taking action you will find that you can turn things around,
even exceeding your former glories in the process. Here are my seven
steps for getting over a dry spell quickly and easily.
1. Accept That Your Game Is Subpar And Will Remain So For The
Foreseeable Future
There’s no point in beating around the bush. Right now your game is
rubbish. You know it, and the girls that you approach know it, too,
hence the somewhat “robust” feedback in the shape of insults and
drinks thrown that you are receiving right now out in the field.
Don’t try to pretend to yourself that things are any other way, and
certainly don’t try to pretend that the women you speak to are wrong
and are somehow “not getting you.” The fault lies with you, and it is
down to you to fix up.
Instead of trying to deceive yourself, calmly accept things as they are
and resolve to improve the situation.
2. Have Faith You Can Turn Things Around

The second step is to believe in the higher forces of game—that if you

put the work in, the universe will give back to you, and things will
improve. If it’s any consolation, I can tell you that some of the driest
spells I’ve ever experienced have been followed by seasons of sexual
abundance that I would have never dreamed about before.
I have suffered some of the most humiliating blowouts of my life, only
to enjoy, after a month or so of consistent approaching and rejection,
the attentions of far hotter girls than ever before.
Men often make the mistake of thinking that a dry spell is the
beginning of the end or that “this is it” for the rest of their lives. Not a
bit of it. Everything is temporary. This too shall pass. Life is not
constant and unchanging. There are ups and downs. This is true of
any aspect of existence you care to name. Simply read the steps
outlined here, take the necessary action, and trust that things can and
will improve.
3. Approach 100 Girls
No way around this one I’m afraid, gentlemen. To get out of your
funk, you’re going to have to put in the time and footwork and
approach like a machine—not just because “it’s a numbers game” and
you might get lucky, although it’s true that you might—but rather you
need to go through this process to get yourself on point.
You need to approach with intent. Whether you go in direct or
indirect is up to you, but you need to make it obvious through tone,
body language, and eye contact that you find them hot and you want
to fuck them. Why? Not only because that is the essence of game but
also because in doing so you will be putting yourself on the line in a
way that 95 percent of men don’t.
Also, when you’re standing in front of a hot girl without a parachute,
so to speak, you’re going to have to force yourself to come up with
something to say. At first, you’ll crash and burn, no doubt, but as you
work through the 100, you’ll start to get bolder, more inventive, and
infused with a sexy spark that will brighten eyes and create
excitement in the girls you speak to.
4. Go Easy On Yourself
Don’t give yourself a hard time while you’re going through this
process. You’re doing something very difficult. You’re going to make
mistakes. That’s fine. It’s life. Pat yourself on the back simply for
trying something most other men wouldn’t have the courage to do
rather than measuring yourself on how many phone numbers, dates,
or lays you get. All that will come later.
5. Keep A Spreadsheet
If it’s good enough for Paul Janka, it’s good enough for you. While
you’re working through the 100 approaches, keep a spreadsheet. Not
only will this ensure that you stay on track, but it will also help you
see where your successes are coming from and focus your attentions
accordingly.
Precisely what you record is up to you, but in the past I’ve noted
down such things as where I’ve met the girl, her age, nationality, and
the details of the interaction, good or bad.
The other great thing about having a record like this is it limits
approach anxiety. In the end, each approach is just another line on the
sheet, nothing more and nothing less. Keeping a record will certainly
help you to reduce negative feelings around each individual girl.
6. Record Yourself

Another thing you can try is recording yourself when you go out to
talk to girls. Thanks to smartphones, you don’t need any special
equipment. Just download a voice record app, stick your phone in
your top pocket, and you’re ready to go.
Listening back to the conversations will be embarrassing at first, but it
will enable you to identify what you’re doing wrong and where
you’re coming off badly, for example, if you’re speaking too quickly
or using needy intonation.
7. Try Anything And Have Fun
Right now you’re at ground zero, and things can’t get any worse.
Rather than wallowing, now is an ideal time to try any style of game
you fancy. Maybe you’ve always wanted to go ultra-direct. If so, walk
up to 100 girls and tell them you’d like to go to bed with them. Maybe
you want to experiment with some crazy routine or other. Do it. Since
you’re going to fail anyway until you’re well into the 100, you may as
well enjoy it.
After following these steps, I guarantee that your game will improve,
and you will start to become a lot more on point in social interactions.
It can happen quickly too. All you really need is a couple of weeks to
get back on track.
 [58]

Why Rejection From A Hot Girl

Isn’t Always The End

A LOT OF GAME CONTENT concerns itself with rejections and

rejection handling. The assumption behind most of it is that pickup is
a binary activity—that you either pull the girl or you are rejected, and
that there is nothing in between. Most of the time this is the case, but
sometimes a brushoff can mean “not now” rather than “never.” If you
are looking to take your seduction skills to the next level, it is
important to learn to recognise these scenarios and play them to your
advantage through “long game.”
When I look back on my game career to date, a number of girls come
to mind who rejected me at first only to have sex with me at a later
date.

I once met a stripper called Kitty at a club. Having seen her before at
this particular event and having admired her all but perfect body, I
approached her and introduced myself. It turned out, though, that she
was with another man who was hovering nearby. After I’d chatted to
her for a moment or so (she was perfectly friendly), this guy came
over and told me in no uncertain terms to get lost. An argument
ensued when I told him to mind his own business. Later, I saw the girl
alone at the bar and chatted to her again. She told me politely to have
a good night.” I got the message and moved on to other targets.
A couple of weeks later, though, I saw Kitty again in another club.
Undeterred by what had happened before, I approached her and
chatted her up once more. This time she was more receptive. She was
waiting for a guy, but she had a little time as he wasn’t here yet. This
time we ended up making out, and she gave me her phone number.
This presaged a season of “long game,” where I pinged Kelly on
WhatsApp from time to time, sometimes receiving an encouraging
reply, sometimes getting no response at all. I kept up the cocky-funny
messages periodically, though, while enjoying other girls in the
meantime. Eventually, Kitty came through, agreeing to my suggestion
of drinks. We met up on a Thursday evening and had one cocktail
before going back to my place for a night of sex.
Another example of this same phenomenon is Becky, an ex-LTR of
mine. I first met Becky when she was a student based at a university
near me in London. I’d cold approached her in the street. She’d given
me her number, and we had gone on a couple of dates. She had not,
however, been prepared to come back to my place or otherwise move
things forward. Again, there was a period of “long game,” where I
pinged her occasionally, and she would reply. Finally, she invited me
out to a party with her friends, which I attended. Later that evening,
we ended up in bed for the first time. We proceeded to date for over
two years.
The lesson from these two anecdotes is that not all rejections are equal.
Most of the time when a girl holds her hand up in your face when you
approach her in the bar it’s a signal that she is not interested, but there
are other situations where a girl may turn you down “for now” but
would be willing to reconsider at a later date. It takes skill and
experience to differentiate between the two, but it’s not rocket science,
and if you can get her contact details, you will at least have a chance
of reigniting things later.
The anecdote above concerning Kitty is the more recent of the two. By
that time, my social awareness was very highly tuned, so I could tell
almost by a sixth sense that she was interested in me even as she
turned me down. It was, I think, revealed most strongly in the gentle
way in which she told me to “have a good night” at the first club.
While it was certainly a brushoff, her tone of voice intimated on a
barely discernible level that she was slightly regretful all the same.
Although I tried to number-close her that night, to be honest it was
sheer luck that I bumped into her again later at another venue.
With Becky, well, I knew she was at least attracted to me since we had
made out several times, but that in itself was no guarantee that she
would eventually part with her underwear for me. Given, though,
that there was at least a small glimmer of hope I stayed in contact with
her on social media while pursuing other conquests elsewhere.
The very last thing I want to do is encourage men who are engaged in
lengthy, oneitus-fuelled attempts to pull “that one special girl.” That’s
not what I’m getting at here at all. As I’ve made clear, in the vast
majority of cases, if a girl makes it known that she is not interested in
you she is not interested, and you should move on to a more receptive
prospect.
That said, if you have a near miss with a girl who you feel might be
interested were it not for circumstances (a boyfriend, exams, living in
a different time zone, or something else) by all means keep in contact
on social media periodically, and keep trying your luck. You have
nothing to lose, and it could very well pay off.
My advice is to ensure that your messages remain brief, humorous,
and sexualised. Don’t whatever you do fall into the trap of sending
dull, vanilla missives about, e.g., how she is doing or what’s
happening with your job. No, your aim is to remain on her radar as a
fun, exciting sexual option so that when the right window presents
itself (she gets dumped by her boyfriend, she visits your city for a
business trip), you will be the one she reaches out for first.
Whatever you do make sure that your long game is practised in the
background and doesn’t get in the way of approaching fresh new
prospects. Remember that the chances of a long game prospect
coming off are comparatively low, so keep filling your pipeline
regardless. At the same time, if you sense that there is “unfinished
business” between you and a girl you’ve met, it takes hardly any time
at all to send her the odd flirty message, and you never know where
things might lead.
 [59]

7 Steps To Turn Rejection From A

Girl Into Useful Feedback

THE PROBLEM THAT MANY MEN FACE when they get into game
is rejection, and as we all know, rejection is hard for everyone. No one
likes to feel they have lost face. When you have put yourself on the
line by expressing your attraction to a cute girl, either implicitly or
explicitly, to have her to laugh with her friends or make some lame
excuse about having a boyfriend can be tough to deal with.
For a newcomer to the world of pickup, this can be especially difficult,
as the number of rejections he will face on a weekly basis will increase
significantly, or at least it should if he’s doing things correctly. Men
who get really into game, simply by sheer dint of the numbers of
women they approach, probably experience more rejections than most
regular men do in a lifetime.
How you take these rejections is key. Do you assume that a negative
response from a girl is an indictment of you as a human being, that no
other female could possibly find you attractive either and go and hide
in a dank bedroom playing Minecraft and eating chicken wings for the
rest of your life?
Or do you alter your perception and regard it as feedback from which
you can learn? The former will do you no good at all. The latter will
help you to get better with women and enjoy more lays.
Resentment against girls can be a big problem for guys into gaming,
both new and experienced. You hear it when men talk to each other,
discuss pickup on forums, or in the comments sections of websites.
On the surface, it’s easy to see why. If an entitled, stuck-up girl with
little going for her other than her beauty gives you a dismissive
brushoff before you’ve even had a chance to finish your opener, it’s
natural you’re going to be upset.
But being mad won’t get you laid. What might get you laid, though, is
a clear-headed assessment of what went wrong, your part in it, and
how you can learn from the experience so that you approach the next
girl differently.
What has really helped me after a session at a club or after trawling
the streets and cafes for girls is to write out a mini inventory of any
rejections I have faced. Doing so helps me see more clearly that I may
have been at fault in the pickup in some way. It also helps defuse any
residual anger I may still feel. Armed with this calm insight, I am able
to go into the next scenario with increased self-awareness.
Here are the things I recommend you consider after a botched pickup.
Write a sentence or two on each, and then file the sheet away for
future reference. Remember while you are writing that you don’t refer
to the girl’s faults at all. This is solely about you, what you did, what
you said, and how you came across.

1. Describe The Rejection

This is self-explanatory, but it is really helpful to write down exactly
what happened as long as you keep it brief. Try it and you’ll see how
much less riled you feel afterwards.
2. Why Do I Resent This Particular Girl?
Again, write down in simple language exactly what it is about this
particular rejection that really stings. Don’t spare yourself. Be as
detailed as possible, and really try to relive the feelings of hurt and
anger as you write.
3. Did Fear Come Into It?
Now you need to be completely honest with yourself. Did the set mess
up because you were afraid? Perhaps you approached with
insufficient confidence or spoke in a low, wavering voice that didn’t
display sexual dominance. Perhaps your body language wasn’t on
point. Perhaps your eyes weren’t sparkling and mischievous, and you
didn’t hold her gaze.
Whatever it is write down exactly how your fear of women—or just
this particular woman in this particular context—contributed to her
offhand treatment of you. Don’t spare yourself, as it’s important that
you capture all of this in black and white.
4. Was I Dishonest?
In this context, I’m talking about dishonesty around your sexual
intent. Did you approach her like a friend or as someone on the street
looking for directions rather than like a champ who’s not afraid of
being up front about what he wants? If in any way you tried to weasel
your way in through friendliness or overt “niceness,” now is the time
to confess.
5. Was I Sufficiently Versatile?
Did you read the situation and the girl you approached correctly and
make an effort to tailor a contextual opening gambit based on her
dress, looks, location, or something happening around you? Or did
you go in with the same old cookie-cutter line you read on the Internet
back in 2012, secretly hoping it would fail so that you wouldn’t have
to carry on a longer conversation with an attractive stranger?
If you aren’t at least trying to personalise your approaches, it could be
that your game is getting stale, which will only lead to more blowouts.
6. Have I Been In Denial?
OK, you complained to your friends in the Uber home, and you wrote
an angry comment about bitchy girls online, but having answered the
previous five questions, can you now see that maybe, just maybe, you
were a little tiny bit to blame for what happened too? If so, now’s the
time to fess up.
7. What Could I Have Done Better?
Having worked through these questions, it’s likely that at least a few
ideas on what you could have done more proficiently will have come
to mind. If so, write them down here, remember them, and refer to
them before you go out to meet girls next time.

No one is denying that women can be entitled, narcissistic, and bitchy

and sometimes downright unpleasant, but you can’t control that. All
you can control is how you behave in any given interaction.
What I have found is that however resentful I may have felt about a
particular situation, these seven questions have helped to clarify my
role in it and given me useful pointers on what to correct going
forward as well as helped to eradicate negative feelings. The process
of answering them has also helped me to convert rejections I have
suffered into useful learning experiences.
 [60]

7 Reasons Why Approaching Girls

In Real Life Beats Tinder Hands
Down

THE APPEAL OF TINDER to men is pretty obvious. Here is an app

that offers a seemingly endless supply of potential sexual partners to
be accessed with a simple swipe to the right—an apparent cornucopia
of hot, sexually up-for-it females just ready to be plucked from
cyberspace and pulled into your bed.
Anyone who’s spent more than two minutes on the app will be more
than aware that this somewhat idyllic portrayal is nonsensical and
that pulling on Tinder is not as easy as one might have hoped. Having
experimented with it extensively in the last few months, I can say
categorically that for me at least approaching girls in real life is far
more effective, yielding better results.
I don’t intend to get into a deep, wider discussion of Tinder and the
somewhat bleak assessment of the state of male-female relations its
vast popularity invites, but it has to be said that when finding a
partner is reduced to a card shuffling-like exercise on your
smartphone, where you scroll past one narcissistic selfie after another,
something isn’t quite right.
My interest here, though, is in the efficiency or otherwise of the
process for meeting women for sex or relationships. While some guys
are successful with Tinder and many experts offer advice on how to
optimise your chances, I would still say that the old-fashioned, face-
to-face approach works best.

1. On Tinder You Are Judged Solely On Your Looks

Don’t have a six-pack, broad shoulders, and the smouldering looks of
Robert Pattison or Ryan Gosling? Then bad luck. You are in female
left-swipe purgatory.
Tinder is fundamentally a visual medium, which was its original USP
after all. Rather than have to fill in a lengthy profile, you simply
upload a few pics, and you’re away. While initially this might have
been seen by men as attractive—“Hey, I can skip the boring, getting-
to-know-you bit and just take my pick out the pictures of hot girls”—
in fact, it is a massive disadvantage.
While women’s SMV (sexual market value) is largely determined by
their looks, a man’s is influenced by many other factors, including his
social dominance, humour, intelligence, and gravitas. None of which
comes across in that moody five-year-old pic you plucked off
Facebook because your mum told you that you looked handsome in it.
Your profile description beneath your main picture? Forget it. Who
has time to read those?

2. While In a Face-To-Face Interaction Your Approach Itself Can

Create Attraction
Contrast this with the power of the face-to-face approach. I met an ex-
girlfriend of mine, a solid 8, very cute Turkish girl, through daygame
on the streets of London. We had several great months together before
I got itchy feet and called time on the relationship. Enraged, the girl
targeted me with a volley of abuse, including the following insightful
nugget:
“If you hadn’t have approached me like you did I would never have
gone with you. You’re not even my type.”
Now, granted, she was upset and deliberately trying to hurt me, but I
happen to believe that on this she was telling the truth. She had
already told me that when we met that she had felt my approach (a
direct street-stop) showed “balls.”
It is my belief that the approach in itself created much of her attraction for
me, as it showed dominance and a tendency to take risks to get what I want.
Had she seen my picture on Tinder, however, I’m almost certain I would have
been a default left swipe.
3. You Are Limited To Gaming The Girls You Match With

Even if your messaging game is really on point, the system only

allows you to chat to those girls with whom you’ve matched, and then
you don’t even get the chance to work your game (and thus
potentially positively influence) those girls you really like.
Contrast this with getting a telephone number from a “maybe” girl in
the street. Initially, she might not be that interested, but your text
game may just save it, and at least you know you are attracted to her
since she promoted you to approach.
4. There Can Often Be A Mismatch Of Expectations
As above, you really only have the pick of girls with whom you
match, and of these, only a proportion are going to be looking for the
same thing as you. So if you are looking for someone to date, you
might find that your matches are those girls looking for covert
hookups.
If you are still a young guy looking to experiment and meet a variety
of women, you’ll be surprised at the number of girls who are deluded
enough to be using Tinder to try to find a serious partner.
Again, the beauty of face-to-face approaching is that this can be
determined through a few leading questions at the outset, saving time
for both parties.
5. Girls Are Exceptionally Flaky On the App, As They Have So
Many Matches

Given how thirsty the male population is, girls and especially hot girls
get matched by pretty much everyone on Tinder, which means they
are swamped with options. When you get chatting to a girl, even if
your messaging game is stellar, there’s still the likelihood that she’s
going to get distracted by the next man who comes along and stop
replying to your messages.
A face-to-face approach, particularly through daygame, creates much
more impact, meaning that you stand out from her other male
orbiters, and you have a fighting chance of commanding her attention
for longer.
6. You Never Really Know What You’re Going to Get
Tinder is rather like ordering clothes on the Internet. You never know
exactly what you’re going to get until it turns up. That T-shirt you
thought was perfect online looks baggy and is made from cheap
material when it arrives.
Everyone accentuates their best selves online, and girls are obviously
going to put up their hottest pictures on a dating app. Don’t be
surprised when that Kate Upton lookalike turns out to be a less
attractive proposition when you meet her for a date.

This is where real-life approaching wins out big time since you only
approach those girls you are attracted to and with whom there’s a
reasonable chance of some chemistry. You may suffer many rejections,
but at least you’ll know exactly what you’re getting with those who
bite before you invest time on a date.
7. You Invest More Time In Prospects That Were Never Going
Anywhere
At a minimum, you are going to have to chat to her for a while on the
app and then perhaps on WhatsApp before she’ll come out to meet
you. When she does but she isn’t what you are looking for, you will
kick yourself for the wasted time. Had you met her in person first
through cold approach you would have known precisely what you
were dealing with and apportioned your time appropriately.
There’s nothing really wrong with Tinder as a supplement to your
regular game. Men can and do have success on it on a regular basis (a
good-looking friend of mine has recently been getting laid
consistently nearly every night through using it). For all the reasons
listed above, however, you should never be tempted to make it your
primary tool for meeting women.
If you fear rejection, you should man up and start meeting girls in
person anyway. I promise it will be worth it in the end.
 [61]

How To Be Seen By Women As

An Alpha Male

MEN SHOULD REMEMBER that standing one’s ground with women

in particular is a central tenet of masculinity. Far too many guys allow
women to get away with irritating nonsense, or worse, borderline
abusive behaviour for fear of missing out on sex. This can happen
when a man is approaching women, dating, or in a full-blown
relationship or marriage.
It’s not good enough. Let’s all resolve to call out bad or disrespectful
behaviour when it occurs and not to fall into the trap of kowtowing to
girls just because of their beauty.
A way of talking about this issue that will be familiar to anyone who
has a passing interest in game is “frame control.” As it is frequently
remarked, the person who controls the frame in any given interaction
has the most power and will most likely get their way. Frame, defined
simply, is the way in which individuals (or groups, such as businesses
and governments) organize and structure their own reality in a way
that benefits them.
As a man, you should be very certain of the types of behaviour you
are prepared to tolerate as well as those that you won’t. If you find it
irritating when the girl you are with speaks to you rudely, is
dismissive, or plays with her iPhone during dinner, you must be sure
to let her know that these behaviours negatively affect you and that
you will not accept them. Control the frame as far as your relationship
to her is concerned by setting out your version of reality and ensuring
that it remains dominant.

It is good practice and also only fair that you also avoid whatever
behaviours you proscribe yourself. Not only are you able to maintain
the upper hand morally, but you also set out by example what is
acceptable and what is not. Be fair-handed, but don’t be a pushover.
When she crosses the line, you must speak up.
I was recently reminded of an incident that I witnessed many years
ago that for me perfectly encapsulates frame control in action. I once
had a friend by the name of Stevie. He may have been well groomed,
but he was not the best-looking guy on the planet. His eyes bulged out
of his skull like a toad’s, his hair was cut too short and plastered down
into a (then unfashionable) side parting, and he was on the wrong side
of five foot nine. However, his quick-witted sense of humour, his job
as a nightclub manager, and his rock-solid frame control meant that
he was still a hit with the girls.
One morning I went round to Stevie’s apartment to find him having a
huge row with this cute brunette Dora, possibly the best-looking girl
I’d ever seen at that time (I was twenty-one). This girl, whom Stevie
had been banging for a month or so, was bawling her eyes out and
screaming at him as he had not come to meet her the night before or
called her to explain why.
It was Stevie’s reaction to this outburst that impressed me and that
has stayed with me ever since. Rather than attempting to pacify her or
to apologise for his behaviour, he stuck firmly to his guns and
wouldn’t concede any of her criticisms. He’d been out all night? Why
not? He was a free agent, after all, and they hadn’t made firm plans to
meet. He hadn’t called? He hadn’t had an opportunity to do so.
Everything was very simple. Stevie was calmly and collectedly
putting forward his version of reality.
But after Dora screamed and shouted some more, Stevie held up his
hand.
“That’s it. I’ve had just about enough of this. Get out and don’t come
back.”
Dora was astounded, and so was I. Here was Stevie, a man certainly
not blessed with male model-like looks throwing a gorgeous girl who
at that time I would have killed to be with out of his apartment and
out of his life.
Enraged at his dismissal, Dora stormed out but then returned again
later, broke in by climbing through a window and cut up a selection of
Stevie’s suits. While I would never recommend that anyone incite
burglary and vandalism in a woman, there’s certainly no surer sign
that you’ve rattled her cage.
Stevie’s stoic upholding of the standards of behaviour he required in a
woman, even to the point where he was prepared to relinquish the
relationship, drove a huge emotional response in Dora. A week of so
later Stevie was in the arms of another hottie, Dora conveniently
forgotten.
So how did this happen? How did an average-looking guy like Stevie
summon up the brass kahunas to reject a hot girl like Dora? I think we
can break it down to these three elements:

•He believed unquestioningly in his own value.

•Abundance: he knew that after Dora another girl would be just
around the corner.
•Rock-solid frame.
But what if you aren’t jacked, you’re not good looking, or you don’t
earn Zuckerberg bucks? Well, Stevie didn’t have those things either.
Here’s the trick. If you want to be perceived as an alpha, you must
simply behave like one. Keep the three elements above in your head at
all times, and embody them whether you believe them or not.
With a bit of faking-it-to-make-it, you will create a virtuous circle
where, appearing more alpha, people will defer to you more, and with
time you will gain natural confidence.
Always remember that the true measure of a man is his ability and
willingness to live up to his own standards and to ensure that those
around him do the same. From now on, let’s be in no doubt that we
are in control of the narrative going on around us and act accordingly.
 [62]

You’ll Have A Hard Time Meeting

Girls If Your Style Is Missing These
Two Elements

ONE OF THE OLDEST QUESTIONS in the seduction book is whether

or not looks and appearance count when meeting women. To put an
end to the years of debate around this issue, let me answer it for you
unequivocally. Yes. The way you look when you approach women
matters. A lot. And the easiest way to look better is to dress well.
Because there are so many different styles and tastes out there, game
writers often find it difficult to provide cogent advice in this area.
After all, what works for a man into heavy metal living in the
Midwest is unlikely to fly on the boulevards of Paris. In this chapter, I
reveal two concepts you should keep in mind when you choose
clothes, whatever your individual style or taste may be.
The way you look may be important, but you don’t need to be the
equivalent of Ryan Gosling or British male model David Gandy. One
reason that game is so effective is that a man’s value extends
considerably further than his aesthetics. Confidence, charm, ambition,
and social and sexual dominance are all attributes that girls find
exciting and attractive. If you can communicate these effectively, you
are likely to be rewarded for doing so.
This, in a nutshell, is the essence of game.
What some men forget, though, or perhaps don’t fully grasp is that
“game” as we speak of it today is really an holistic discipline. Yes, the
refinement of one’s social and interpersonal skills are crucial, but we
should all also be striving to improve every aspect of ourselves, from
our fitness to our finances to, yes, our looks.
There’s not a great deal we can do about our facial features (short of
plastic surgery) or height, but beyond that almost everything is up for
improvement, and one thing is certain: an ugly dude who is well
groomed and stylish will do much better than one who isn’t.

Some might argue that an undue consideration for one’s appearance is

kowtowing to women. I disagree. Looking good is predominantly
about having respect for oneself, and just as the underlying point of
game is the effective communication of value, this should also
underpin the way you dress.
Think about yourself as a brand. Every element of the way you
present yourself externally should have meaning, and that meaning
should say something good about you. In this regard, your clothes are
every bit as important as whatever clever line you dropped last night
in the bar.
You also need to be realistic. If you want to get with the most
attractive girls, you need to look the part. A friend of mine who is just
getting into game has steadfastly refused to alter his appearance,
perhaps best described as “sporty-slacker-chic,” believing that charm
and seductive qualities alone will see him through.
Unfortunately, this is just not the case.
At the moment, I am seeing a hot and classy English girl who is
extremely well presented and wears elegant clothes, some of them
designer. I used all the normal game tactics I espouse here to get with
her, but would the deal have been sealed were I not also well dressed?
I doubt it. She’s not a snob, and she’s certainly not a gold digger, but
she expects a guy who’s with her to be confident. Wearing ill-fitting,
unfashionable clothes or looking as though you’ve just stepped out of
a gym in the 1990s would not have worked.

Think about what the man you imagine your ideal girl would most
realistically be with. What is he wearing? If you don’t measure up, go
back to the drawing board (or the clothes store).
By the way, don’t blame women for what you need to do. Would you
date a girl if you didn’t like the way she looked? Probably not. Think
about clothes as a mode of expression for your own personality, and
take them seriously. That they will raise your sexual market value in
the process is a side benefit but a valuable one. Similar to when you go
to a company to make a sale, secure a job, or raise investment you
might as well give yourself the best possible chance by looking
presentable.
What should you consider when you are selecting clothes to wear?
Forget about the old-school PUA idea of peacocking. If that ever
worked, you can bet it was because the guys using it had more going
for them than a feather boa and a flashing belt. In my view, you
should keep in mind the following two things when choosing clothes:
power and mystique.
1. Power
Remember that game is all about communicating value, and what
better value is there to display than power?
Before people get the idea that this is all about wearing Armani suits
and Tag watches, remember that power can mean a variety of things.
Yes, there is the power that comes with wealth and influence, either
political or commercial, but there is also the muscular power of the
male body. Or the creative power of the rock musician or the sporting
power of the pro athlete.
Consider what you’re wearing now, and ask yourself honestly if it
makes you look powerful in any way. If you’re wearing a baggy old
polo shirt, some chinos, and a pair of old sneakers, the answer is
probably no. I’m not suggesting that you have to jettison these for a
blazer and pocket square, as that may not be your thing, but what you
must do is ensure that your clothes tell people that you are a together
individual who has power of some kind.
A very simple way of doing this is to ensure that your clothes fit well.
This also depends on local fashions, but I would suggest that in
general tight and well-fitting trumps baggy. For one thing, a slim-cut
pair of jeans will show off your physique much better than a baggy
pair, which in itself will make you look more masculine and powerful,
and a sharp-fitting suit jacket or a classic biker jacket will look a lot
better than a hoodie (despite the billionaires of Silicon Valley).
2. Mystique
Which leads to the second point: never be generic. You should instead
always try to ensure that your clothes look just a little bit different,
just a little bit unique to communicate mystique.
This is different from the old concept of peacocking in that you
shouldn’t allow it to take over your whole outfit. Instead, you should
just add little splashes of colour or detail, such as a designer pocket
square or cufflinks or an unconventionally cut coat, that mark you out
as an individual rather than a neck-bearded loon.
Women love a man who is hard to pin down. If you’re an open book,
you are not creating enough attraction. So try to bear this in mind
when you are choosing clothes and incorporate little touches that
make her wonder about you.
Above all, you must get into the habit of thinking seriously about
your wardrobe and remember that everything that you wear is not
only a reflection of your personality but that this is also being
communicated loud and clear to everyone around you. I’m not saying
don’t do casual or dressed down, but I am saying make sure that it fits
well and is stylish.
Work on this area of your life to make yourself stand out and to give
yourself the best chance possible of succeeding with women.
 [63]

How To Avoid Being Labelled

“Creepy” By Beautiful Girls

ONE OF THE MAIN THINGS that holds men back in their pursuit of
women, whether for relationships or a short-term flings, is their fear
of awkwardness. Indeed, the prospect of being called “creepy,” a
word that is bandied about far too readily these days by women
looking to shame and silence guys they are not attracted to, is
terrifying for many men.
To get over this fear, it is important to understand that
“awkwardness” is simply a social frame and not to buy into it when
you are dealing with girls.
A friend of mine who is getting back into game again after a period
out of the market recently expressed his fear of “going in for the kill”
on a date. Basically, he is nervous about trying to kiss girls. I told him
that he needs to lead the interaction towards sex. In almost all
circumstances, the girl isn’t going to do it, and dominance is the most
attractive trait that a man can demonstrate to a woman.
What really frightens him? After all, the very worst that could happen
as a result of going in for an undesired kiss on a date is a slap around
the face, but the chances of even that happening are extremely slim.
Far more likely is that the girl will simply pull away and make an
excuse about not being ready yet.
Given that physical repercussions are unlikely, what’s the problem?
Awkwardness. What my friend doesn’t want to face is the aftermath
of a failed kiss. He wonders what he will say and how he will regain
his composure after such a crushing occurrence.
It is this very fear of awkwardness that will cause him to be reluctant,
ironically making him less attractive to the girl. In the world of dating
(as well as the world of business or sports or artistic endeavours),
boldness will take you much further than holding back.
I’m not saying that one should blithely disregard all social
conventions in the pursuit of one’s personal goals (although perhaps
that wouldn’t be a bad idea). What I am saying, though, is that you
should recognize that “awkwardness” or “creepiness” is not real or
tangible but simply the manifestations of a frame that is stronger than
your own: the girl’s.
Once you understand this concept, awkwardness is much easier to
deal with.
The way to not be creepy, then, is to understand that awkwardness is
a frame set by someone else and refuse to accept it. This is easier said
than done, but bear with me while I explain what I mean.
When I’m on a first date with a girl, I will often try to kiss her within
the first fifteen or twenty minutes. This initial attempt will frequently
be rejected. In such cases, the girl’s frame will be something like: “I
just came out for a nice drink and to get to know you, and you are
violating social convention by trying to kiss me before we know each
other well.”
That’s absolutely fine, but my frame is different and goes like this: “I
am a man, and you are a woman. I am attracted to you, and that is
entirely normal. We are on a date together, so what could be more
natural than that I kiss you?”
As we all know, in any given social interaction, whoever has the
strongest frame usually wins, and my frame in this context is now
rock solid through practice. If a girl attempts to shame me or
otherwise imply that my behaviour was in any way over the top or
inappropriate, I simply front it out. “You’re cute, so I’m going to try to
kiss you. Who wouldn’t?”
The same applies when I cold approach. If a girl asks me whether I’m
hitting on her when I go up to talk to her, I simply say yes. Why say
anything else?
What this all comes down to is owning one’s actions. If secretly you
think there’s something wrong with trying to kiss a girl on a date, or
more likely, that you feel deep down that you’re not good enough for
her, you will telegraph this to her. Or if you think approaching girls
cold is weird, inappropriate, or that you are simply not hot enough
this will also be conveyed in even your tiniest actions.
It is far better to walk out into the world entirely confident in your
actions. Those with a strong frame are simply less likely to receive
negative feedback about their behaviour. Just think of the school jock
who goofs around with girls and gets away with all kinds of things
that betas would be shamed for. Without a doubt, he is afforded a
license to pull crazy stunts largely because he doesn’t see anything
wrong in doing so.
You must be the same. The next time you feel awkward or a girl
accuses you of being creepy remember that awkwardness and
creepiness are not reality but rather a frame that has been imposed on
you by someone else. Refuse to recognize it, and over time as if by
magic it will melt away.
 [64]

6 Tips For Pulling A Same-Night

Lay

A LITTLE WHILE AGO I went to a party at a private members club in

central London, where I met an attractive girl in her early twenties
who turned out to be the daughter of a wealthy British TV celebrity.
After an hour or so of conversation and making out, I took her back to
my place, where we had sex several times before falling asleep.
Meeting a girl and having sex with her on the same night, when
things go smoothly, can seem like the most natural thing in the world
because it is: if a man and a woman are attracted to one another. what
more natural an outcome can there be?
Yet, for the beginner, the idea of pulling a girl out of a club and taking
her home can seem as unachievable as taking an Uber to the moon. It
certainly was for me. With that in mind, I thought it would be useful
for me to codify the steps I took to demonstrate how simple and easily
replicable they are.
This isn’t about pumping and dumping girls but simply about
achieving your very natural male desire quickly and efficiently.
Certainly, once you’ve slept with her, you can transition into a
relationship if there’s chemistry and you want to keep seeing her.
Here, then, are the steps I took that led to me bringing the girl home
with me.
1. Achieve Momentum By Approaching Girls Before You Get to the
Venue

State, vibe, mojo: whatever you want to call it, it seems to me that
there’s no substitute for momentum when you go out to meet girls. As
much as you can study game techniques and Google opening lines, a
lot of game is about the subconscious vibe that you put out as you
enter the venue and walk around.
Most players know that this can have a magnetic effect so that when
you’re really on form it’s not really about what you say to girls at all
but more how you make them feel simply through your presence.
When you’re really on form, this can have an almost magical effect,
with previously unobtainable girls opening with ease.
How do you achieve momentum? It’s actually very easy, but I’m
afraid that those with approach anxiety will have to work hard to put
their fears aside. The best way to get that swing in your step, that
arrogant swagger that you require, is to have approached a lot of girls
already that day.
Earlier in the day before hitting the venue I’d gone out shopping and
incorporated a spot of daygame, approaching something like twelve
girls in the street while going about my business. The twelve
approaches yielded a few phone numbers, but immediate success
wasn’t the point. Instead, my aim was simply to get into a sociable
mood so that later when I went to the club I would be on form.
It may seem counterintuitive to the newbie, but even rejections can
help to pump up your state. In fact, in a way, they can work better.
After I’ve experienced three harsh blowouts either on the street or in
the club, something in my brain clicks, and nothing can faze me. After
all, I’ve already been rejected, it hasn’t killed me, and if I’m going to
go down it might as well be in a blaze of glory. From that point on, I
find myself able to approach any girl with impunity.
When I entered the club, having the twelve approaches under my belt,
I noticed that girls were checking me out and smiling as I walked
around, which is not something that necessarily always happens. This
wasn’t because anything had changed in my look and presentation
but rather that the hunter in me had come out (presumably with a
commensurate spike in testosterone, although I’m no scientist) and the
women noticed it.
2. Attend Carefully To Your Style
I don’t intend to get into the “do looks matter?” debate here (they do
and they don’t at the same time), but for God’s sake at least control
what you can and make sure your style is on point. This doesn’t need
to cost a lot of money. After my daygame session, I went home where
I changed into a white Ted Baker shirt, a light grey summer jacket
from Zara, and a colourful pocket-square from H&M.
I also wore an expensive but fantastic pair of heeled boots from Jeffery
West that give me that all-important little extra bit of height. My
haircut is cheap, but I style it carefully with good products (I stopped
going to expensive stylists earlier this year when it became apparent
that it really made very little difference).
Through following my own tastes as well as occasionally reading style
blogs and keeping an eye on what others wear and what’s in the high-
end shops, I have developed a look that is striking enough for people
to comment on, which is really important when you’re going out to
meet girls.
3. Approach Directly And With Confidence
Because you are in state already, having done your pre-club
approaches, you should be in a good state of mind to talk to the girls
you meet in the venue. In a busy nightclub, particularly if it’s later in
the evening, I would suggest just going direct: walking up to the girls
you like and telling them you find them sexy.
You should also use light touch right off the bat, e.g., on the forearm,
the lower back, to normalise physicality between the two of you. You
will then need to transition into more general conversation to keep the
interaction going (vibing, as it’s called), but you should ensure that
you spike this up periodically with sexual references and suggestive
comments to get her turned on and curious about you.
Also remember that all pull and no push is bad. You must
occasionally signal your disapproval and hint that you are willing to
walk. For example, when my girl from Friday told me that she was
from Chelsea I pushed her away laughingly and said it could never
work out between us since I lived in East London. She realised I was
joking, but it added that little frisson of doubt to the interaction that
spiked her attraction.
4. Once You Find A Girl Who Likes You Then Stay With Her…But
Don't Look Needy
To a degree, it depends on the time of night, but assuming it’s
relatively late once you’ve found a girl whom you like and who seems
into you, you should endeavour to stay with her so that she doesn’t
wander off with her friends or get swooped up by another man.
What’s important is to strike the balance between hanging in there
and not looking needy. Ideally, you will have made out with her a
little bit so that you know it’s definitely “on”: remember that you
don’t need to make out with a girl for her to sleep with you, but if she
won’t even kiss, you there’s no way she’s going to bed with you.
Your aim should be to stay with her, keeping the mood light but being
ready to pull the trigger and take her from the venue as soon as
possible. What you must avoid doing is “mate guarding,” i.e.,
jealously trying to ward off other men. If a man approaches and tries
to chat her up while you’re there, by all means lead her away but also
be prepared to walk.
If she is initiating conversations or seems especially receptive to other
men, your time might be better spent with another prospect. After all,
you are looking for a DTF girl who is DTF you and if the stars are
aligned everything should be relatively hassle free.
Assuming she doesn’t vie for the attention of other men, the best
course is to stick with her and then take her home at an appropriate
moment (i.e., as soon as possible).
5. Always Be Escalating
Absolutely 100% key when setting up a same-night lay is that you
must without fail progressively escalate the encounter throughout the
evening. You must do this is two ways: verbally, through
conversation that is progressively more suggestive, and physically,
with touch that becomes increasingly sexualised. Through this dual
approach, you are aiming to get the girl turned on sufficiently so that
when you get her back to your place she is ready to have sex.
This is not as easy as it sounds, and you need calibration, which can
really only be learned through practice, but my advice is as follows:
within the boundaries of what is socially and legally permissible, be bolder
than you think possible. When you gain experience, you will be amazed
at how sexual you can get with a girl you’ve just met. Your boldness
will also suggest sexual confidence and proficiency, which will only
serve to turn her on more.
6. Deal With The Logistical Problems

Once the girl is ready to leave the venue with you, it is your job to get
her home as quickly and efficiently as possible, dealing with any
annoying occurrences that might come up along the way. Usually, I
find the best way is to get an Uber, but even that can be difficult.
Lost taxi drivers, drunk passers-by, closed roads, mislaid keys, and
cash shortages abound. Whatever it may be, you have to find a
solution. On Friday night, I was trying to find a late-night bar with my
girl, but nothing was open. More than once she suggested she should
go home before I convinced her that a better option would be a
nightcap at my place. I then found an available cab, and we were
away. Had I not done so and allowed the moment to pass, it is likely I
would never have seen her again rather than enjoying a night of sex
together.

If you are looking to achieve a same-night lay, have your style

together, approach a lot beforehand to get into state, be up front with
girls you like in the venue, escalate boldly, and lead her home (to your
place or hers) while solving impromptu issues as they come up.
Failure in any of these areas will see your chances decrease
significantly.
 [65]

How To Make Her Your Girlfriend

THERE COMES A TIME in the life of even the most hardened player
when he meets a girl that he likes and wants to spend time with
exclusively. Many men go into game in the first place with the sole
purpose of forming a relationship, realising that a life of spinning
plates is neither advisable nor particularly enjoyable over time. Others
enjoy playing the field, but then such considerations as their career or
business become pressing, and time spent chasing girls seems a waste.
Others still, for better or worse, meet a girl they feel meets their
requirements in a partner, one of those rare “good girls” that they
don’t want to lose. Finally, some get tired of the carousel and decide
they want to step off for a while with a girl who is especially hot, or
who gives great blow jobs.

Whatever your motive, if you want to make a particular girl your

girlfriend, you must consider the matter carefully and ensure that you
go about it in the right way.
As with many parts of game, the best method for getting into a
relationship with a girl you like is counterintuitive. Some men,
following poor advice from magazines, mainstream websites, or
worse—their female friends—imagine that getting a girlfriend
involves having “the conversation,” i.e., sitting down and “telling her
your feelings” about how much you like her and your plans for a
happy future together.
Nothing could be less effective.
Here’s the truth. If you want to be with her in an exclusive way, she
has to be the one to initiate things, not you.
Women have many options these days, what with Tinder and social
networking and so much more, and they’re not afraid to take
advantage of them. For you to stand out from the crowd and become
the kind of man she she’d like to hang onto, you need to demonstrate
two attributes: that you are a scarce resource and that you are a great
provider of sex.

Why? If you are too readily available, your value will drop, and she’ll
be on Tinder chasing the next aloof and mysterious fellow in no time.
As for sex, it really is the glue that binds modern relationships
together at least in the beginning. Remember that girls want to enjoy
physical pleasure as much as we do. If you’re not giving her a great
experience every time, she will be inclined to seek out someone else
who will.
How do you remain a scarce resource? It’s really just as simple as not
being too available, either in person or online. Don’t message her
every day, and when you do, ensure that the length of each text does
not exceed hers. Don’t be accessible every night of the week, and
never drop preexisting plans to see her just because she’s free.

At all times, you should strive to maintain an air of mystery and

detachment. Be a man in demand who always has something else to
do. When you operate in this way, it’s amazing how long women will
stick around and how obsessed with you they will become.
This isn’t a good sex guide, so I don’t intend to get into a detailed
explanation of how you should do it here, but bear in mind that each
time you have sex with her you should imagine it’s the last time, and
you must put in a suitably vigorous performance. Don’t hold back on
dirty talk and pornlike moves. Ideally, you want her to feel that she’s
getting something out of the ordinary from you that she won’t get
from other men.
Remember: sex comes before feelings in modern relationships. Don’t make
the mistake of thinking tender emotional appeals will sway her.
Today’s women (and men) desire increasingly visceral and intense
experiences to remain interested. Ensure that these are what you are
delivering.
Now that you know the two most important aspects of landing a
girlfriend you may be wondering how best to put them into practice.
The slightly perverse truth of the matter is that you are most likely to
wind up with a regular girl when you are busy sleeping around.
It may sound crazy, but it’s true.
When you are having sex with a variety of women, you will maintain
a natural “distance” that is very hard to fake. Also, with sex as with
everything else, practice makes perfect. Sleeping with a variety of
women will help you pick up different techniques and hone your
erotic skills.
It is only when you communicate scarcity and you are great in bed
that girls will try to “pin you down” and make you their boyfriend,
and a relationship will really only work if she has “shown hand” and
pursued you rather than the other way around. Don’t make the
mistake of being the beta chump who expresses his feelings too early.
You will only be punished for it down the line.
Consider carefully, too, whether or not you actually want to be in a
relationship. If you do, is she the right person? Relationships can be a
massive pain and significantly affect your freedom and autonomy, so
don’t get into one lightly. In fact, if you are below the age of thirty,
you are probably better off avoiding them altogether at least until you
are experienced enough to truly know what you want.
Whatever you do, bear in mind that—perhaps sadly—in a world
where romance has been all but excised by societal shifts and
technology, it is the dark triad player rather than the poetic sap who is
most likely able to leverage a pleasurable medium into long-term
relationship.
 [66]

How Bad Logistics Can Ruin Your

Game

THE TOPIC OF LOGISTICS receives less attention than it is due in

game writing, and it’s easy to understand why. Out of all the elements
of male-female interaction you could possibly address, “make sure
you take the girl to a bar near your apartment” probably requires the
least authorial flair.
If you want to sleep with attractive women with any sort of regularity,
though, you absolutely must ensure that your logistics are on point. If
you don’t, you will lose lays in the most annoying ways imaginable.
Fortunately, having good logistics is easy if you’re sensible and keep a
few simple principles in mind.

In terms of game, logistics are those obstacles you must negotiate to

get the girl you are interested in out of the bar, club, store, or cafe
where you met her and back to your apartment or hotel, where you
can enjoy some privacy together. The farther away your base is, the
more logistics you will have to contend with, such as calling a taxi,
using public transport, or driving.
Logistics are also attached to the girl’s present circumstances and
yours too. Perhaps she’s with a group of friends who won’t let her
leave, or perhaps she has to catch a flight in five hours. Perhaps you
have an important job interview in another city the next morning, or
someone is staying in your apartment that would make bringing her
back awkward.
Any external problem that looks likely to stymie your attempts to
sleep with an otherwise up-for-it girl may be considered a logistical
issue.
What you must always remember about attraction is that it is fleeting.
The player is presented with windows of opportunity during which
he must execute or risk losing lays forever. The following will
illustrate how simple logistics can ruin what might otherwise appear
to be a sure thing.

Last year I was walking to meet a friend in a busy area of South

London when I saw a particularly cute, slender brunette who was just
my type. Dressed for the summer in a short, flared skirt and a tight-
fitting top, her face and legs were tanned as though from a recent
beach holiday. Clutching a map and squinting confusedly at street
signs it was clear that she was a tourist and lost. Having a few
minutes to spare before my friend arrived, I decided to introduce
myself.
Rather than approaching as a white knight eager to give her
directions, I walked up to her and told her that I had to talk to her as
she was cute. She was instantly disarmed, and her face lit up. It turned
out that she was Colombian but lived in Paris. This was her first day
in London on a short trip visiting a friend.
Not only had she forgotten her friend’s address, but her iPhone had
also died, leaving her with no record or telephone number to fall back
on. She was, quite literally, helpless. Fortunately, she had run into
English gentleman Troy Francis. What could possibly go wrong?
Quite a lot, as it happens, for me. After a few minutes chatting in the
street, I took her to a bar, where we managed to find a charger for her
phone. As the juice flowed into the recalcitrant device, we talked
more. She was a qualified dentist but now worked in a clothing store
on the Champs Elysée, as her qualifications weren’t valid in France.
She also had incredible, tanned legs.
I escalated hard, touching her, pulling her hair, kissing her neck,
creating a bubble around us, and telling her that there was an
incredible energy between us.
“You should come back to my apartment for one hour. Just an hour.
Then I’ll get you a taxi back to where your friend lives,” I said.
The next moment we were kissing—just as her phone sprung into life
again.

“My friend is texting me,” she said. She tapped at her phone for a few
moments. “She’s coming to the station to meet me.”
We kissed some more.
“Come to my apartment for an hour. You can meet her later.”
She looked at me for a long moment and then nodded.
It was on.
I pulled her out of the bar and into the street. As I did so, I tapped at
my own iPhone, ordering an Uber. Three minutes away.
We stood on the sidewalk as cars passed, and I tried to keep the mood
light while looking out for our driver. After five minutes, I called him.
“Where are you, mate?”
“Nearly there, boss.”
After this same conversation had been repeated perhaps three times in
different calls, I realised that this driver was lost. At the same time, it
was becoming harder to maintain the conversational momentum with
a girl who, not speaking much English, was probably understandably
wondering what was going on. Then she suddenly gestured behind
me.
“My friend. Over there.”
She looked at me mournfully, but the spell was broken. Sure enough,
in the middle distance, standing up against a railing, I saw a rather
irate-looking woman craning her neck, on the lookout for a cute
runaway Colombian.
“I’m sorry Troy. I have to go to her.”
At that moment, I knew the game was up. I shrugged and walked
with her as she moved towards her waiting friend.

Would I ever see the Colombian girl again? Who knew. We had each
other’s contact details, but now she was back in Paris. Everything was
in place that day for an SDL (same-day lay), and had the taxi turned
up I have no doubt that it would have occurred, since she was alone
and up for fun in London for a few days with no agenda or timetable.
It is hard to think of more perfect conditions for no-strings sex to
occur. As it is, the moment came and went, and for her to meet with
me subsequently would feel a lot more premeditated, and perhaps she
would avoid doing so for fear of feeling slutty.
When my driver did finally arrive, too late, I waved him away angrily,
furious that such a stupid eventuality had gotten in the way of my
enjoying the Colombian.

Let this be a cautionary tale. You can’t legislate against idiotic Uber
drivers, but at the very least you must ensure that you have a quick
route back to your place planned every time you go out, with several
alternatives in your back pocket if possible. The best thing is to go
hunting near where you live, but if that’s not possible you must
ensure that you have a car or access to decent public transport.
Overall, you must keep in mind that once a girl has indicated she is
willing it is your job to get her home as quickly as possible. Failure to
do so might just see you standing by the road watching a hot
Colombian girl walk off into the night with her friend.
I did indeed see the Colombian girl again. She came to stay with me in
London for a few days, and we had a lot of fun. We’re still in touch
now. That said, my points about logistics still stands, as this happy
ending was really more a matter of luck than design.
 [67]

Why Using A Wingman May Not

Be The Best Option For Your
Game

GAME, which has been defined as the art of “applied charisma,” is by

its nature a social act. You can read as many blog posts and books as
you like, comment on forums, and complain with other guys about
the sexual marketplace, but real game is played by talking to girls in
the streets and clubs and bars of the city where you live.
Quite naturally many men are keen to go out with other men as they
pursue girls. These men are called wings. While using a wing has
undeniable benefits in certain situations, if he isn’t carefully selected,
the arrangement can be counterproductive, and you might even end
up losing you girls.
For the newbie and even for the more experienced man, the idea of
going out alone to talk to women can be terrifying. It can also be
logistically difficult. In general, at least at night, women don’t go out
alone but in pairs or small groups. It takes a courageous man indeed
to intercept these groups, and even if he does the difficulties of
extracting his preferred girl are considerable. In the daytime, too, girls
are often to be found out shopping with their friends, making a solo
approach daunting.
There is also the matter of state, or vibe, or mojo or whatever you want
to call that heightened social competence that makes killing it in the
field seem so much easier. If you go out with another guy, chatting
with him as you hunt will certainly help get you into that voluble,
relaxed mood that is conducive to meeting girls.
To be honest, though, the real reason that most men use wings is
because of fear. They are simply too afraid to go out alone,
particularly at night, let alone walk up to an attractive women and
indicate their sexual interest in her.
A wing takes the edge off this predicament. It makes going out itself
feel less of an ordeal and more as a straightforward social occasion,
with a few laughs and jokes thrown in along the way.
If your wing is proficient in game and even remotely honourable, the
benefits of working with him are obvious. He will be there to vibe
with you, and he can step in to help carry sets, perhaps taking your
target’s less attractive friend off your hands for a while or escalating
with his own girl while you are working yours.
He should also help boost your confidence, picking you up after a
rejection. Perhaps most important of all he can help point out those
IOIs (indicators of interest) that you might otherwise have missed
while walking around the bar, coffee shop, or mall. I’ve often
benefited when another guy has let me know that a girl I hadn’t even
noticed was checking me out. Without his help, I might easily have
left money on the table.
Sadly, though, life is not a movie, and things rarely run as smoothly as
you might hope. If your chosen wing is a good friend of yours from
way back, the roles in the relationship will be to some extent “set.” If
you are the quiet one, it’s going to be very difficult for you to break
out of that role and become an approach machine.
On the other hand, however, if you are the confident one and roll into
the bar talking to every girl in sight to the exclusion of your friend,
there is a chance he will become resentful and either sabotage sets or
disengage from the process entirely.
For these reasons, it is sometimes better to find new friends to go out
with—wings with whom you have had no prior relationship that you
meet up with solely to pull girls. Even then disparities in ability,
looks, and energy levels can contribute to a fraying of these often
delicate alliances.
The idea of going out alone to talk to women can be pretty scary, but
the inherently problematic nature of wingmanship can sometimes
mean that there is no other option. Also consider that “game” is
always played solo really. Even when you go out with supportive
friends, you will still have to talk to the woman of your choice on your
own. You will have to attract her on your own, you will have to
escalate on your own, and you will have to lead her to some suitably
intimate location on your own.
A wingman might smooth the path, but he can’t cover up for your
mistakes or make you more interesting or charismatic. Those things
must come from you alone.
Whether to roll with wings or go solo is a much-discussed topic on
men’s websites, and without doubt there is value in both provided
that with the former your wings are of high quality. I have gone out
with wings and without, and I have been successful in both cases, but
I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that gaming solo is better.
For a start, I believe it is more efficient. Some of my best lays with
some of the cutest girls I’ve ever attracted have been achieved solo.
You cut out all the nonsense of having to deal with another man and
just go straight for what you want.
In the case of daygame, it actually makes more sense to be alone. If
you are going to clubs and bars, you have more flexibility. If one
venue is rubbish, you can then leave and go to another. If anyone asks
why you are alone, simply say your friends are elsewhere or be up
front up and tell them you are there by yourself. It really doesn’t
matter. People are generally too self-interested to care much.
Going out alone and picking up a woman is also perhaps one of the
most exhilarating things you can do. It will really awaken the hunter-
gatherer spirit that lies inert within you.
While I don’t totally discount the value of working with a good wing,
particularly when you are new and improving your skills, you should
always remember that the best wing you can have and the one who
has your interests most firmly at heart is you.

If you haven’t tried solo game, I’d encourage you to give it a go. It
really is a lot more fun than you might imagine, and I suspect you will
be surprised by the quality of your results.
 [68]

The Power Of Laser Eye Contact

WITH THE WORTHY EXCEPTION of touch (kino), eye contact is

without doubt the dedicated poon plunderer’s weapon of choice in his
quest for vaginal Valhalla. It turns out that all that dating advice from
magazines, problems pages, and others was correct in this particular
detail: strong, confident eye contact is exceptionally potent in
producing pantie tsunamis in public places, just not for the reasons
that people think.
Eye contact, we were always told, demonstrates confidence. Chicks
like confident men; therefore, strong eye contact will get you laid (or
at least a date), right? Partly. But the devil is in the detail, and it is
really the quality of your eye contact that makes all the difference. This
isn’t about staring random girls down like a loon. Your gaze must
have attitude .

The important thing about steady, sustained eye contact is that it

communicates male-female polarity. To put it crudely, when you look
at a woman, your eyes must tell her that you are thinking about
fucking her and that you are not afraid to do so. Your eyes, in other
words, must communicate dominance and masculinity.
The great thing about laser eye contact is that it works in all contexts
—during so-called daygame and night game.
In the daytime, you can use it on girls you encounter naturally, such
as shop assistants and baristas. When she serves you, simply take care
to ensure that you are consciously looking her directly in the eye for a
little longer than is usual. Deliberateness is important. After all, you
are seeking to communicate albeit nonverbally. If you can, you should
smile lightly as well.
This can be harder than it sounds. If you’re not practised, you’ll be
spending so much energy concentrating on your eyes that there’s a
danger you’ll end up looking like a grinning madman but do
persevere. What you’ll find when you hit a sweet spot with this is that
your gaze will genuinely communicate something that she picks up
on—your desire for her—in a covert and therefore sexy way.
I used this technique once over several weeks with a girl in my local
coffee shop. When I eventually got her number and took her out for a
drink, we slept together quickly and easily. It was as if all the
communication necessary had taken place already, and thus the leap
to sex was far less steep than it could have been.
Laser eye contact works equally well at night too. Here, though, the
technique is slightly different. Rather than concentrate on one
individual girl, you should aim to “get into the zone” so that you are
hitting every girl you see with laser eyes.
Here’s how you do it. If you are in a club or a busy bar, you should
walk around the venue a few times deliberately aiming your eyes at
those of passing girls. Again, try to smile a little as you do so but in a
cocky, slightly dismissive way. Sweep the crowd doing this.
After a while, you will start to get a few smiles back and a little
sustained eye contact, and your confidence will rise. This will mean
that your eye contact will then become more bold, more invasive, and
much more effective.
Basically, the aim of doing this is to banish all timidity so that you end
up looking at girls like the dashing high-value man that you are (or
that you need to demonstrate that you are, anyway). Once you’ve
warmed up, you’ll find that eye contact becomes a devastatingly
effective part of your arsenal akin to touch in its ability to sexualise a
situation and create erotic tension between you and the girls you
meet.

A way to practice this is to go out and maintain eye contact with as

many people as you can (men and women) without relinquishing it first.
Very quickly you will become more confident, and you will find
women gazing at you for longer, blushing, dropping their shopping
bags, and walking into walls and bus stops (more or less).
A useful tip is to think sexual thoughts as you appraise each girl.
Doing so will help to get you into the zone, focus your intent, and
help you communicate just the right degree of outlaw sexuality.
If it takes time, don’t despair. Just keep going. Some guys, myself
included when I started, find eye contact difficult, but in reality it’s
one of the easiest ways to interact with girls since there is very little
chance of rejection. She may look away, but no one’s going to come up
to you in the street and complain because you looked at them for half
a second too long.
When you become good with laser eye contact, you will find that in
many cases it pretty much shorts out the need for tight verbal game
because the subcommunication is already done: “I am a man, and I
want to fuck you.” Once this is established, the chitchat on top is
secondary, an exercise in comfort-building. If you have this kind of
vibe with a girl, ask for her number or take her on an instant date, and
chances are she’ll be amenable. Eye contact alone has done the heavy
lifting for you.
 [69]

What To Do On A Date To
Maximize Your Chances Of
Closing

IN AN AGE OF TINDER HOOKUPS and fast sex, the notion of a date

may appear old-fashioned, almost quaint. Perhaps that’s to do with
the word itself, which conjures up images of 1950s teens drinking milk
shakes at the diner before going to the drive-in.
Whatever you choose to call it, though, make no mistake that you’re
going to need to know how to interact with a girl you’ve only just met
in a one-on-one situation. However archaic dating may seem, even in
today’s world it’s pretty much unavoidable.

In very few circumstances are you likely to meet a girl who will have
sex with you without any preliminary conversation at all. Even if you
meet her in a club and end up banging in the bathroom, you will
almost certainly have to take her to a quiet corner of the venue to chat
her up out of earshot of her friends first. This is effectively a mini date.
When you meet a girl on the street, you will likely need to take her
somewhere—perhaps for a coffee or a drink—before bringing her
back to your place. On many occasions, the decision will actually be
taken out of your hands as the girl will demand some sort of meetup
to “get to know you better” after your initial approach before she will
even countenance the thought of sleeping with you.

Many men get sore about this and go on a tirade against girls,
accusing them of leaching on male resources. While there are
undoubtedly a great many gold diggers out there whom you should
avoid at all costs, it’s not unreasonable that girls should have the
opportunity to find out whether or not you are a serial killer or a fat-
assed beta chump before sleeping with you.

Make no mistake, though, that when you go on a date you are on trial.
What you must not do is fall into her frame, where you are positioned
as the seller before her the buyer. Instead, you must seize the impetus
and direct the date according to your best interests.
What men and women generally want from dates is not so much
opposed as temporally mismatched. Generally speaking, she wants to
find out if you are a “good match” and whether or not you “connect.”
Generally speaking, you want to bang, but she won’t necessarily be in
a hurry to get naked, so you need to develop a strategy.
Most important is that you adopt the right mind-set. You should go
on every date with the intention of closing the deal, i.e., having sex
with her that night. Why? Girls have many options, and only after
you’ve fucked her will you be anything less than a speck on her radar.
If you don’t make it happen that night, there’s a good chance she’ll be
lining up her next Tinder bang on the way home, and you’ll never see
her again.
You should be absolutely prepared for sex, carrying condoms, and
cleaning your apartment before the meeting. It has been said that each
time a woman agrees to go on a date with you she is contemplating
having sex with you. Broadly speaking, this is true. It is your job not
to do anything to cause problems and push the interaction forward
through verbal and physical escalation and male dominance all the
way to the bedroom.
The following tips are most applicable to the conventional evening
date—one that takes place on a separate occasion to your first meeting
with the girl—although they also apply in other situations, such as
daygame “insta-dates.”
The first date with a new girl should always be for drinks, i.e.,
alcoholic drinks. Never take her out for dinner (not until you’ve slept
with her at least), and try to avoid coffee dates. While these can work
for building comfort, they are antiseductive and opposed to our
purpose of getting laid quickly.

The idea of taking a girl for drinks is not to get her blind drunk. Paul
Janka recommends that you have two or three drinks maximum
partly to keep costs down and partly because on or after the third
drink you should be making your move. So intoxication is not the aim
here.
Alcohol has smoothed the path for sexual encounters forever. It will
relax her and you too, assuming you drink, of course. I don’t, so I just
take a sparkling mineral water. A tip to the barman will ensure they’re
discreet about the fact you’re on soft drinks.
Many men get worked up about whether or not you should buy
drinks. Ancient game advice states that to do so is supplicatory and
therefore beta. While this might be the case in a club when you first
meet, I would suggest that on a date scenario it’s slightly different.
If you make a big deal about refusing to pay or making her go halves,
you risk looking socially inept and lacking in value. This is a supreme
passion killer. Don’t sweat it. Put your hand into your pocket.
If she indicates that she’s cool with going halves, that’s great. If not,
don’t let it affect you. I’m not suggesting you should lavish her with
vintage Dom Perignon. Just don’t make an issue out of something that
needn’t be.
Find a nice lounge to take your girl to, not a noisy pub or frat house.
Somewhere that serves cocktails, has booths, and table service is ideal.
What you need to do is find a couch, or something similar, in a
relatively secluded part of this venue. At all costs, you should sit next
to her. Never sit across a table. This is crucial. To do so feels formal,
like a job interview and sucks the erotic tension out of the scenario.
What you are aiming for is to be close enough so that you can initiate
touching and kissing easily and without having to lean in awkwardly.
The female-centric conception of the date is that its purpose is “getting
to know one another,” hence “classic” date topics of conversation are
such things as your job, your family, and hobbies. What you must do
is ignore these subjects and talk about sex instead.
The purpose of the date is to end up having sex. You should make
every effort to eroticise the conversation from the outset, which can be
a lot of fun for both of you, and it will position you as “one of those
guys”—an alpha male who isn’t looking for anything serious but
whom she can bang without fear of your subsequent neediness or
other negative consequences.
When I say talk about sex, what I don’t mean is that your opening
gambit should be asking about her favourite position. That’s creepy.
What you should do instead is use double entendres and deliberate
misunderstandings of what she says to plant jokey references to sex
that become more overt over the evening. This is a skill that you will
develop, and it will become easier as you do so.

I interpret almost anything a girl says as sexual. It doesn’t matter how

lame it seems. If you do it with confidence, she will giggle and start to
view you as a viable sexual prospect.
An example might be as follows: Perhaps she says she needs more ice
in her drink. I would raise my eyebrows, shoot her a naughty look,
and say, “I bet you like ice, don’t you?” When she says yes, I’ll then
wink and say “where?” Or if she comes in from the rain and
complains about being wet (an open goal, of course), I’d shoot her that
same wink and say “oh really.”
There are countless examples of this technique. You just need to adopt
a dirty mind. It’s very simple—essentially schoolboy humour—but if
done with panache it raises the conversation from the banal, lending it
an erotic fizz and positioning you as a sexual guy who knows what he
wants and is probably good in the sack.
Anyone who’s read The Game will know about kino, the art of
touching to sexualise an interaction. This is absolutely essential on a
date, and you should begin doing it as soon as she arrives.
Without hyperbole, the use of touch was the single most important
revelation that accelerated my game beyond anything I’d thought
possible.
Don’t touch in a sexual way, not at first, anyway. Instead, touch her
on the lower arm, embrace her, grab her shoulders to make a point.
After you’ve been with her for a while, you can start resting your
hand on her thigh and touching her hips.
One thing that is very effective is handholding. You’ll be amazed how
quickly you can take a girl’s hand on a date. I’ve done it literally in the
first five minutes. Once you’ve done that and before you’ve even
kissed you’ve made the romantic status of your interaction overt. This
is key. There’s no way she’s going to friend zone you now. If she pulls
her hand away, don’t worry. Just carry on talking, and try again a few
minutes later.
As with handholding, you’ll be amazed how quickly you can kiss a
new girl on a date. Don’t wait for ages and make it awkward. Go in as
soon as there’s a small pause in the conversation and you’re just
looking at one another. Put your hand gently on her cheek, and pull
her towards you as you bring your lips to hers.
Many men get scared about what to do if she turns her head away.
The answer? Don’t worry about it. Just carry on talking, and try again
in a few minutes. I’ve had girls turn their heads on me four or five
times during a date before they’ve finally kissed me passionately. You
will always encounter resistance. Remember that confidence is
attractive. The alpha male is charming but persistent, and temporary
rejection doesn’t phase him.

If a girl turns her head, I normally say something like, “Sorry, my

mouth slipped.” Then I leave it for a while and try again. In most
cases, she will admire my persistence and eventually accede.

Head turning is a form of shit test, as are such statements as “You’re a

player, aren’t you?,” “Does this normally work?,” “You’re not as
smooth as you think you are,” “I bet you do this with all the girls.”
When hit with any of these, the advice is always the same. Smile,
ignore, and persist. If a girl tells me I’m not smooth, I’ll say something
like “Yeah, it’s great isn’t it?” and then just carry on. The same goes if
she says, “It’s not going to happen tonight.” Just ignore it and proceed
with what you’re doing anyway. Chances are she’ll change her mind
later on.
After two or three drinks, some sexy banter, touching, and kissing,
you’re ready to take her home. The best way to do this is simply grab
her hand, say “let’s get out of here,” and lead her to a cab. If she asks
where you’re going, say “on an adventure.” If you really need to
explain, just say you have a great movie to show her. “Going home to
watch a movie” is universal code for sex, so she’ll get what’s up and in
most cases will be happy to go along with it.
If she does resist at this point, that’s fine. Just arrange to meet her
another time. Just realise that if she doesn’t come back with you that
night you may have done something wrong earlier on, and your
chances of seeing her again are severely reduced.
 [70]

You Must Push Each Interaction

As Far As It Will Go

A FRIEND OF MINE called James recently asked me for some advice

about a girl he likes, his housemate. Maria—let’s call her that—is
certainly very attractive, judging by the photographs he has showed
me, and by all accounts is pretty fond of him. Apparently, they spend
a lot of time talking, and she complains frequently to him about the
errant behaviour of her boyfriend.
One night she came home from a club a little tipsy and started
dancing sexily in the kitchen for him and on another occasion came
downstairs from her bedroom modelling the T-shirt he’d bought her
for a Christmas present in just a tiny pair of shorts. James is certain
that she is at least a little attracted to him.

He wants to sleep with her, but he is also concerned not to spoil their
friendship, particularly as they live together, and the fallout from any
overt move he makes could at best be embarrassing and at worst
could make their living situation untenable.
What to advise here? If at all possible, you should avoid getting into
such a situation in the first place. It has been said that whenever you
find yourself asking someone for guidance over what to do about one
“special” girl, you have already lost her. The reason is that you have
already pedestalised her to an unhealthy degree without having made
your move.
In all likelihood, your opportunity, such as it was in the first place, has
now been lost, and you are languishing in the mists and fogs of the
friend zone, trying to navigate its malodorous and septic seas with
little hope of rescue. In the case of Maria, the situation is even worse,
given that she has a boyfriend (albeit a recent one who is based in
another country).
To get a girl when you are on the back foot is almost impossible in
itself. To do so when her loyalties lie elsewhere, however tentatively,
would be little short of miraculous.

All of that said, James has been getting IOIs from Maria and wants to
know what to do. Should he play hard to get and ignore her for a
while? Should he play the long game by continuing with his current
strategy of under-the-radar flirting and hope for the best? My advice
to him is simple. The only option is to escalate while gaming other
girls.
The only hope in a situation like this is to sexualize the interaction to a
degree where the girl is obliged either to fold into your frame and
proceed with a sexual relationship or to express her disinterest by
rejecting you. Meanwhile, you should be constantly approaching
other women to establish warm leads and to engender a sense of
sexual abundance that will make you more immune to your target’s
potential rejection.

If you have options, she will sense it, and this will trigger in her a
sense of dread. She will realize that she might lose you, and this will
make you more attractive to her.
There is an old saying in game that is helpful to remember here.
“Make the ho say no.” Situations like the one between James and
Maria crop up all the time. A man will come into contact with a girl he
likes perhaps through his social circle, at college, or at work, and they
will hit it off. The girl will laugh at his jokes and enjoy spending time
with him, and they will become friends.
The girl, perhaps intuiting the guy’s underlying desire for a more
sexually satisfying communion, will often throw out enough
flirtatious crumbs to give him hope that “something” may happen at
some unspecified future point. The guy, picking up on this and not
wanting to scare her off by making a sexual advance, falls into her
timetable and decides to wait it out.
This is fatal.
Such a situation works very well for the girl, who experiences the
warm validation of an attentive friend. Unfortunately, it works less
well for the guy, who will inevitably become more frustrated the more
time that passes and his desires remain unsatisfied. This strategy is a
one-way path down the tributary that leads directly to the friend
zone.
What you should aim to do instead is to make the sexual subtext of
your interaction explicit as early as possible in each case—from the
first meeting if possible (although this can be more difficult if, say,
your girl is from your social circle or is a work colleague).
Nevertheless, you must make your interest known boldly,
unapologetically, and quickly. Remember that fortune favours the
brave. Put yourself on the line even though it will feel intimidating if
you’re new at it. You’re more likely to get the result you want.

You know the real reason that guys don’t always do this? It’s because
they would rather coast on the validation they are already getting from the
girl they’re interested in. We’ve all done it. A hot girl likes you and is
prepared to hang out with you on breaks or over lunch. By not letting
her know you’re interested, you can both retain the pleasant feelings
that go along with hanging out while you overdose on the fantasy of
what could happen.
Understand this, though, that both pleasant feelings of validation and
fantasy are worthless in the binary world of pickup where there are
only two outcomes. You either get the girl or you don’t. She is in no
hurry to up the ante. You should be. It’s your job.
The next time you’re hanging out with that girl that you’ve secretly
liked for ages take her hand, look her straight in the eye, and tell her
you think she’s really cute. Just do it, and see what happens. She
might well pull her hand away, look embarrassed, and start
mumbling something about how she sees you more as a friend. Good.
Now you’ve got your answer, and you can cross her off the list and
move on to other prospects.
Alternatively, she might just be swayed by your boldness and express
her mutual interest. You will never know until you try. Either way, if
you have been gaming other girls, which you should have been, her
response will in any case be robbed of the import it might otherwise
have had.
Hope—false hope—is one of the worst states imaginable for a man.
Do everything you can to avoid it. Be decisive. When you like a girl,
take action quickly. Be flirtatious, witty, and let her know how you
feel. Do not get into some long, drawn-out courtship that will likely
not pay a dividend anyway.
Remember that she could, if she wanted to, have sex with you within
five minutes of meeting you. Girls do it all the time. It is a fallacy to
suppose that she needs months of “warming up” before intimacy is
possible. I’m not saying that you should demand sex on the first
meeting, but some degree of reciprocity is more than possible.

Take your shot, and let the chips fall where they may. If she rejects
you, smile politely and move on. Above all, don’t be afraid that if you
make your move you will lose her.
If that happens, you never really had her in the first place.
 [71]

How To Avoid The Point Of No

Return

I WANT TO DISCUSS a phenomenon that occurs commonly in game

and will be recognisable to men who meet and date women regularly.
In general, when dealing with a new girl, textbook advice applies. You
must make the interaction sexual early and escalate rapidly to seal the
deal lest you lose her to one of her many orbiters on the Tinder.
The trouble, though, is in knowing how far to push it on the first date.
If you go too far and get the girl too turned on without actually sleeping
with her, the chances are you will never see her again.
This is a paradox because in doing precisely the things you need to do
to have sex with her—being tactile and escalating from hand-holding
and light touching to making out and more sexualised physical
expression—you also run the risk of getting her too near the boil and
then losing her.
It’s counterintuitive because, as men, the more a girl turns us on, the
more likely we are to want to sleep with her. Surely it should be the
same for girls when they date me? Apparently not.
There are basically two types of dates: the “couple of quick drinks as a
precursor to a one-night stand” date and the “date one” date, where
there may be another one, two, or three meetings before sex finally
occurs, if it does at all. Standard advice is to try to steer your
interaction towards the former so that even if the girl didn’t leave the
house expecting to get down and dirty she is swept away by passion
in the moment and succumbs anyway.
The problem with this is that it works very, very well until it doesn’t.
The fact is that however good looking you are, however dominant
your presence, however skilled at conversation, humour, and
escalation, there are still many girls who simply won’t put out on the
first night as a matter of principle.

And that is not taking into account peripheral issues, such as periods,
boyfriends, and work issues. If you get one of these girls all hotted up
on a date, the chances are that after she’s had time to cool down and
assess the situation her so-called “anti-slut defence” will kick in, and
she will refuse to see you again.
Speaking as a member of the gender that will always rush back to the
scene of the crime if sex is on offer, this is hard to understand, but if
you have made your sexual desire very apparent to a woman without
her having taken the bait she will be fully aware that there really is no
way forward for you two other than for her to sleep with you.
By agreeing to meet with you again, she is tacitly agreeing up front
that she’ll have sex, and remember that girls like to feel as though “it
just happened.” If there’s one thing they hate, it’s being made to feel
slutty.
This happened a few years ago. I met a girl outside a cafe who was
eyeballing me as I walked down the street. I took her number, and we
went out a few days later. We went to a bar where, after one drink,
she was all over me—literally straddling me as we made out.
Try as I might to pull her back to my place, though, she wouldn’t go
for it. Fair enough. At the end of the evening, I left and knew I would
never see her again. Sure enough, when I pinged her a few days later,
there was no response to my message.
Why should this be the case? Anyone seeing us together would have
assumed rightly that she was really into me. Certainly, there can be no
doubt that she was physically attracted and turned on. My mistake
was taking her to the “point of no return” too early on a first date
when she never intended to have sex. Going home, she probably felt
slutty, convinced that I was “only after one thing.”
Many game-savvy guys won’t be surprised at this and will probably
claim that they always keep their cool and make the girl wait for the
makeout until they’re back at their place. Fine, but the fact remains
that I’ve used the technique of hard escalation described above many
times, and more often than not it’s gotten me laid. What you can’t
legislate for is the small number of times where you lose the girl.
The trick, then, is to know which girls you should escalate hard with
and which girls you should hold back on. The Troy Francis surefire
way of determining this? I’m sorry, but there isn’t one. If there was
ever a girl with DTF written all over her, it was the one I described
above, and yet overescalation cost me the lay. Other girls who have
looked a lot more innocent have succumbed eagerly.
My advice is that when meeting a girl for a date for the first time you
must sexualise the interaction. You must push the envelope, and at a
minimum I would recommend that you always ask her to come back
to your place to “watch a movie.” You might as well take the shot, and
in most cases you won’t lose points. If anything, she’ll credit you for
trying.
If, though, you get any sense that this girl is not up for accompanying
you home tonight, pull back and cool it. By all means make out with
her a little at the end of the date, but don’t overdo it. Don’t try to be a
pickup hero.
Accept that many girls are simply not cool with one-night stands and
chill. If you don’t push it too hard, the chances are that she’ll agree to
meet you again, and you can game her once more, hopefully with
more favourable results this time.
 [72]

Even A Lame Approach Is Better

Than No Approach At All

THERE WAS RECENTLY SOME INTERESTING DISCUSSION in the

comments under an article I wrote that was about the need for men to
seize the moment and not pass up opportunities to meet women they
are attracted to as they go about their daily lives.
I hadn’t intended the article to be a paean to daygame, but I guess
that’s how it turned out, as my basic point was that there are women
all around us every day, and the smart man doesn’t wait for
permission or for the “right moment” to make an approach.
One comment in particular that caught my eye was from one “Captain
Nemo.” I hope he won’t mind me quoting it in full, as I think it
contains an important concept that is worth discussing further.
“Good article. Some people chicken out because they start thinking: ‘what the
fuck should I say...’ and then they end up screwing up the chance not saying
anything because everything they came up with sounded too fucking dumb. I
on the other hand sometimes bypass such things by deciding to say the most
retarded shit I can come up with instead.”
Does it backfire a lot? Hell yes it does, but when it works, it works. In fact,
acting like a retard actually landed both me and my friend some LTR
material. So to those who are still trying to get their shit together and have
trouble coming up with what to say to that lovely chick that can’t take her
eyes off of you, remember the following: Even a retarded approach can get you
more than not approaching at all.”

That last sentence is golden. Internalize it, and it will free you up to go
out and make the mistakes that are necessary in the journey towards
becoming great at meeting girls.
As men, we naturally tend to be both logical and competitive. These
are great attributes in themselves, but when applied to such a
discipline as pickup they can sometimes be detrimental. If you have
spent a good while reading pickup books and forums as well as
watching videos, you will have a pretty accurate idea of what a good
pull should look like. At the same time, your competitive streak
probably means that you would prefer to do it better than the guy on
YouTube or not at all.
Here’s the lesson: to get really good at meeting girls, you need to kill
your ego. Stop trying to live up to some self-imposed standard of
pickup mastery. Stop trying to be the next Master Pickup Artist.
Why? Because you must be prepared to take risks by speaking to
strangers on packed trains, in coffee shops, and in the street, and you
won’t be able to do that if you’re scared not to make a mistake. If you
think your pickup heroes never fluffed an opener or ran out of things
to say mid-set, you’re deluded.

But there’s something even more important than that.

We all know that to an extent pickup is a numbers game. That’s not to
say that you can’t improve your odds and do better or worse in a
given situation by studying technique, but you will likely encounter
three types of girls when you go out: “yes” girls, “no” girls, and
“maybe” girls.
The best pickup artists are those who can convert the “maybe” girls—
after all, they’d get the “yes” girls anyway, and the “no” girls are
never going to happen. The point is that only a third of sets you
encounter will be susceptible to influence.
For the most part, your goal on the initial approach should simply be
to introduce yourself and get her contact details so that you can
continue gaming her later. Same-day lays do happen as a result of
daygame, but in the main it’s at least a two-stage process.

Your strategy should be to initiate contact with as many cute girls as

possible, screening out those who are a definite “no” and adding the
others to your database to contact again later. When you take this
industrial approach, the manner in which you open and precisely what you
say in each case isn’t necessarily that important.
In an ideal world, you should aim to present yourself as smooth,
charismatic, and sexually dominant every time through verbal and
physical indicators, such as wit and strong eye contact. If you can say
something penetrating and amusing that communicates these
characteristics and gets the girl giggling, that’s great, but what if you
are tired or in a bad mood or your mind goes blank when you see her?
Or if you only have three minutes before catching a train? Should you
avoid approaching because the approach may be a little under par?
Not a bit of it. Approach anyway.
I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve broken the rules, and it’s
worked. I’ve walked up to girls, told them they’re hot, and straight up
asked for their number. No funny stories, no DHVs, no amused
mastery, no game —just a straight-up telegraphing of male-female
desire—and it’s worked. I’ve contacted these girls later, flirted a little
over WhatsApp, taken them out, and then slept with them.
On one occasion, I was in a restaurant, saw a cute girl, and got the
waiter to pass her a note with my number on it. In theory, this was a
beta move. After all, I didn’t even have the nerve to go up and talk to
her (actually, I was with my boss, and I didn’t want to look sleazy).
But she contacted me, we messaged for a while, and things developed
from there.
My point is that your primary purpose should be to initiate
interactions and collect contact information. You should not concern
yourself with being a pickup hero or doing anything dramatic.
Sometimes normal works. Sometimes “game” that is too polished
comes over as fake. If you can’t think of anything else to say, just walk
up, tell her she’s pretty, and ask for her number. It’s worked for guys
forever. Some days you’ll be on fire, and on other days you won’t, but
if you do it often enough, you will run into girls who are into you, and
you will end up having sex with them.

GK Chesterton once wrote, “If a thing is worth doing, it is worth

doing badly.” Bear that in mind, and free yourself from the need to
achieve perfection as you go out to meet new women.
Remember: the only thing you absolutely have to do is approach.
 [73]

Why “Nexting” Unsuitable Women

Is Good For Your Sex Life

WHEN PEOPLE WRITE CONTENT ON GAME, what they’re doing

much of the time is telling you how to draw women to you. What is
less discussed is when you should push women away or “next” them.
My take is you should do it frequently.
Failure to next women whenever they fall short of your standards—or
you of theirs —is a common quagmire you should avoid falling into.
Instead, you want to be adding women to your pipeline with such
regularity that deleting some girl with whom there are problems from
your phone is not important.
Lolknee, a regular online commentator, wrote the following under an
article I published about abundance:
“If I ever lose frame even for a hot second I leave a woman. I don’t need a
woman in my life who isn’t under the delusion that I am totally fucking
perfect.”
Now, I would recommend that every man reading this tattoos the
above quote on an area of his body where it is easily visible
immediately. Seriously. Carry on reading this at the tattooist’s, or else
pick up where you left off when you return.
Lolknee’s comment is important. When guys usually think about
nexting, if they do at all, they think of it in terms of the girl’s bad
behaviour. If, for example, she is always late or brings you loads of
drama or is a money-grabber or something else of the kind, it’s going
to cross even the most blue-pilled beta guy’s mind that maybe he
should dump her. What is equally true, though, is that if you lose the
frame in any way and her respect for you plummets you’re also better
off cutting your losses and moving on to another prospect.
Why is this true? With hypergamy being what it is, as Lolknee says,
it’s much better for the women in your life to think you’re “totally
fucking perfect.” Frame and female-to-male respect are extremely
brittle in the early stages of an interaction. Once you’ve banged a girl a
few times or she’s become your girlfriend, she is going to give you a
little more latitude. A little. But early on, especially in big Western
cities, if you make one mistake, you’re screwed and not in a good
way. Once she has you in her sights as a potential beta, it’s practically
impossible for you to recover the frame. Even if you do end up
sleeping with her, the sex will most likely be lacklustre and your
continued engagement filled with drama.
Am I painting women unreasonably as unforgiving here? They can be,
particularly in the early stages with men they’ve just met. When you
think about it, this is only natural. She naturally wants to attract the
best-quality mate that she can (this is the function of hypergamy), and
if she perceives that you might not be everything your approach
suggested you were, there’s a good chance she’s going to drop you or
at least put you into the “provider” box, one that you might be keen
not to inhabit.
The problem is that mistakes happen, even for the best of us. I recently
went on a second date with a cute English girl I’d met in London
through daygame. The first date had gone well—drinks and a visit to
Winter Wonderland, the annual Christmas amusement park we have
here in Hyde Park. The vibe had been good between us, and we’d
made out. I’d tried to get her to come back to my place, but it was a
Sunday night, and I had work the next day, so I was perfectly happy
to wait for our next meeting.
This didn’t occur until after Christmas (incidentally, the Christmas
break is like a nuclear bomb going off at the end of every year for
those into the game. Cities are suddenly wastelands, no one’s around
for a fortnight, and organising dates is practically impossible). We
arranged to meet on a Friday night, but when the date rolled around I
was extremely tired after my week at work and so wasn’t particularly
on form. I had arranged to meet her at a place that was fairly remote,
which was also a bit of a buzzkill.

Worst of all, though, when she turned up, she was already drunk,
having been out with a crowd of workmates. This meant that the
sweet-tempered girl I had met before Christmas was now surly and
suspicious. She also expected me to carry the conversation. Being
knackered and annoyed with her for being tipsy, I wasn’t inspired,
and so the talk was stilted and frankly dull.
After we’d finished our drinks, I watched her walk off into the night. I
then took out my phone and deleted her number.
What mistakes did I make on that date? I probably shouldn’t have
arranged to meet her on a Friday. I should have chosen a venue that
was more central. I should have swallowed my annoyance and made
a bit more effort with the chat. Perhaps, having realised she was
drunk, I should have excused myself a lot earlier than I did. But I
didn’t, and a combination of these errors plus a sudden, barely
tangible lack of connection between us meant that she—in my
assessment—lost respect for me. Suddenly, I was no longer the
charming guy who’d stopped her on the subway and had been so
witty on WhatsApp. Now I was the guy who’d taken her on a rather
flat date. Trust me. This is not the guy I want to be for any woman.
Would the interaction with her have been salvageable? Possibly. She
was attracted to me. That much I knew. We had made out several
times over that second evening. It is likely that had I left things a few
days and then contacted her anew I could have reinvigorated her
desire and had another shot. But why would I want to do that? Why
fight an uphill battle with some girl who turns up drunk to dates
when I live in a city with a population of 9m?

Years ago things would have been different. I would have been on the
phone to that girl trying to get her out again, justifying the flat night
and doing everything I could to get the notch. Today, thankfully, I
can’t be bothered.
Today, if a girl lets me down, or if I make a mistake causing her to
think less of me, I simply walk away and develop another prospect
instead. There’s actually something intensely freeing about clearing
the decks, deleting dead phone numbers, and looking forward to the
future.
You need to have at least a modicum of faith to do so—faith in your
ability, faith that, yes, you will meet another girl just as hot down the
line. But when you acquire that faith, nexting unsuitable girls frees
you up for sex and relationships with better ones, clears your mind of
drama and shame, and gives you back control of your dating life. So
why not go through your phone today and start deleting some of
those burned-out old numbers?
 [74]

What To Do If The Phone

Numbers You Get From Women
Go Nowhere

A GREAT MANY MEN read game articles or watch videos online and
get good at approaching girls and asking for their phone numbers.
The problem is that they don’t get any further than this, and there is
nothing more frustrating than having a smartphone full of flakey
numbers with girls acting halfhearted and shying away from coming
to meet you on dates.
If you are looking to pull hot girls, you need to learn how to get over
this particular hump. In this section, I tell you exactly why you’re
getting into this situation and the steps you need to get out of it.

We’ve all been there. You see a cute girl in the street, walk up to her,
give her whatever spiel you’ve taken from this week’s YouTube video,
have a friendly chat, and then ask for her number. Later on, though,
when you contact her you find that the number fails to lead you to the
sexual nirvana you had hoped it would. Instead, she either ignores
your messages or is polite but flakey.
If this happens to you several times a month, that’s fine. Flakiness is
usual and to be expected. When you’re walking up to random girls in
the street or club, you are to some extent playing a numbers game as
well as competing with whoever else is blowing up her phone on
WhatsApp or Tinder.
But if you are consistently finding yourself in phone number
purgatory—if it is a pattern rather than an occasional occurrence, it is
likely that you are doing something wrong in your approach.
Here’s the problem. When men first get into game, they massively
overestimate the degree of sexual intent they are injecting into their
interactions, and that makes sense. After all, if you’ve hardly ever
approached in your life, the mere act of telling a girl she looks cute
should be, logic would dictate, enough to let her know that you have a
penis and are interested in her.
Unfortunately, this is not the case, and far too many men are having
friendly, flat, nonsexually-charged conversations with girls, projecting
a “nice guy” aura and getting blown out.
Don’t be one of them. As with everything in life, pickup works much
better when you put everything you have on the line.
The central issue is that most guys (and girls) are risk averse and don’t
want to put themselves on the line for fear of being hurt and
humiliated. Nothing wrong with that. From an evolutionary
perspective, it makes total sense for someone to avoid danger. In
prehistoric times, a man risked being torn limb from limb for
approaching a woman from outside his tribe, so the inbuilt fear of
approaching we all feel to some extent is based on a human instinct
that is inbred.
There are two problems with this, though: one, we no longer live in
prehistoric times, and two, appearing risk averse looks profoundly
unsexy.
In contemporary times, the risks associated with politely approaching
girls are extremely low. I have approached thousands of girls over the
years, and almost nothing bad has ever come of it. I’ve annoyed a
couple of boyfriends and been embarrassed a few times, but I have
never been physically attacked, arrested, or killed.
I’m not saying that any of those things couldn’t conceivably happen in
the course of a pickup. They could, but as long as you’re calibrated
and approach with light and cheeky humour, they are all extremely
unlikely.

The other thing is that girls simply like men who take risks. I have
gotten with girls who probably wouldn’t have looked at me twice
largely because I’ve had the courage to run up to them in the street
and express my sexual interest to them. This is where cold-approach
pickup has a huge edge over Tinder. Through your actions, you can
demonstrate your qualities as a man (boldness, courage, sexual
intent). So why do it halfway? Far better to go all in with every girl
you approach and let her know precisely what you want. The issue is
that girls are taught to be polite (and yes, there are plenty of bitches
out there, but stay with me). Handing over a phone number is in
many cases merely a form of politeness, simply a more pleasant way
to get rid of a guy. The path of least resistance.
While new guys probably know this on some level, they choose to
ignore it. They perform the lowest-impact approach they can, take the
number, and go home feeling that they’ve scored a victory and then
complain online when the girl doesn’t respond or refuses a date. Then
they go out the next week, do the same thing again, and so the cycle
repeats itself.
The only way you’re going to avoid falling into this trap is by going all
in . What do I mean by that? Every time you approach a girl whether
you go direct or indirect you need to leave her in no doubt why you
are talking to her and what you want.
Many guys have this attitude that I approached her, and I told her she
was pretty, so she must know I was trying to pick her up mentality.
No, no, no.
Girls don’t always know why you’re approaching them. You may
simply be being friendly. You might be gay. Unless you make it
absolutely clear that you are approaching because you are sexually
attracted to her, you risk being ignored, or worse, friend-zoned.
I’m certainly not advocating that you walk up to women and tell them
you want to bang them straight off the bat. That would be
uncalibrated and counterproductive. Nor am I advising a heavy,
intense vibe over a light and playful one, but what you must do is
communicate your intent through deep eye contact, touch, and verbal
spikes.
When you are talking to her, even if you’ve approached her indirectly
asking for directions, she should be in no doubt of the message your
eyes are communicating to her: that you’re imagining her naked, and
you like what you see. There’s no shortcut. It takes practice, but try
thinking sexual thoughts while you are speaking. That will get you a
lot of the way there.
You should also try to touch her—not in a weird, creepy way—just
lightly on the forearm or maybe the back. What you need to do from
the first meeting is break through the “strangeness” of you and her
getting physical so that it becomes anchored in her mind as something
natural and pleasant. This will make the transition to sex later on
much easier.

You must drop verbal spikes into the conversation. The two methods I
use most commonly are double entendre and challenging . When
speaking to a girl, I will commonly misinterpret whatever she says as
having a sexual undertone to it (“Oh, it’s raining hard. Do you like it
hard?”). I will also challenge her on some aspect of her personality
(“You say this is the best coffee shop in town? I’m not sure I believe
you. Show me your barista certification.”)
You must tease, and you must make the conversation crackle with
sexual energy. You have to ensure that you’ve peaked sufficient
interest in her that when you text her you aren’t merely that nice,
friendly, entirely forgettable boy she talked to briefly outside the
subway station.
 [75]

How to Deal With Cockblocks in

the Club

I RECENTLY WENT TO A NIGHTCLUB where I spent much of the

evening interacting with women, having fun, and hoping to find a
hookup. Nothing particularly unusual there, you might say.
Not, apparently, as far as the female friends of a couple of the girls I
approached were concerned though. On more than one occasion, I
experienced unpleasant and rude “cockblocking” from mother hens
(self-appointed girls who act as the “guardians” of their friends).
This led me to contemplate anew something that has been on my
mind for a while—that cockblocking is on the rise in nightclubs and
bars. When it is rude and unjustified, I feel within my rights to speak
out against it and so that night I confronted a cockblock. Here’s what
happened.
I was at a Halloween party at a club where it’s the kind of place where
people dress up, become uninhibited, and where security turns a
blind eye to any naughtiness that ensues. It’s well known as a highly
sexual place, so it shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone there that
guys are going to approach girls.
I walked up to a slinky young cutie wearing black angel wings
chatting with a group of friends. I said hi. She turned to me and
smiled. I reached out and briefly touched her on the arm, but no
pickup artist succeeds 100% of the time. You’ll always get those girls
with whom your killer line falls flat, who don’t get your sense of
humour, or appreciate your cool dress sense. In this case, the girl
shook her head lightly and moved her arm away.
Not important. Note that she didn’t tell me to fuck off or indicate that
my presence was unwelcome. She simply made it clear that she wasn’t
interested at that point in the night. That was her prerogative and
absolutely fine by me. I would never do anything against a girl’s will
or advocate doing so, but on the other hand being cheeky,
assumptive, and persistent is all part of the game.
Had I continued talking to her, perhaps she would have become
comfortable enough with me to allow things to escalate. This has
certainly been my experience many times in the past. Or maybe not. In
that case, I would have said goodnight and walked off. Either way it’s
really not important.
It’s called socializing.
Unfortunately, things weren’t allowed to continue on their natural
course. I heard someone calling me and looked up to see one of the
girl’s friends superciliously waving me away.
“What’s her problem? Is she in a bad mood?” I asked Angel Wings,
who smiled and shrugged.

Annoyed at what I regarded at an unnecessary intervention, I

approached the cockblock.
“What’s up?” I said, smiling.
“She told you to go away. Go.”
"She didn’t, actually. You should be more polite to people.”
"So should you.”
“This is a nightclub. People socialize here. It’s normal. You need to
think about how you speak to people you don’t know.”
The girl looked surprised but defiant. In her estimation, right was on
her side. After all, she was defending a girl from an unknown male
interlocutor. Is there a less assailable position to be in? The whole of
Western culture had her back.
“You need to think about how you treat girls,” she said.
“I was talking to her. There’s nothing wrong with that. You need to be
less rude.”

She laughed nervously.

“And you need to stop going around groping girls.”
Now I know I had her. She knew it too. To “grope” is defined by my
dictionary as “to fondle someone for sexual pleasure.” “Fondle” is
defined as “to stroke or caress lovingly or erotically.” I had touched
the girl fleetingly on the forearm. The gesture was not sexual nor
could it have been construed as such by anyone.
“I didn’t grope her. You need to stop lying, think about how you
speak to people in public, and be less rude,” I said. Then I walked
away.
OK, I lost my chance with Angel Wings, and my retorts were hardly
earth-shattering, but I couldn’t help feeling a sense of satisfaction. If a
girl is being seriously harassed by a man, I have no problem with her
friends stepping in to help, but I was sober and talking to Angel
Wings in a normal, fun way. The cockblock simply stepped in too
quickly and was rude and obnoxious. When I politely pointed out to
her that she had overstepped the mark, she lied to strengthen her
position.
When considering male-female interactions, it is often useful to
imagine what would have happened had the man in question been a
celebrity. Would Ryan Gosling get cockblocked in a club? Unlikely.
The best way to deal with cockblocking is to prevent it from
happening in the first place. As a general rule, the more high value
you appear on your approach, the less likely you are to face it.

The situation with Angel Wings happened early in the night while I
was warming up, and most likely I wasn’t on top form yet. When I’m
having a great night, I hardly ever get blocked, but rejection is part of
the game. Most nonpsychopathic men know and accept this. If
anything, men are too timid when they approach women, too
apologetic. Bitchy girls “protecting” their friends are surplus to
requirements. In the vast majority of cases, the man will run away
despondently at the first sign of disinterest from his target anyway.
It depends on what your objectives are and the particulars of a given
situation, but I would encourage you to speak up when you are
treated rudely by women in public. To be clear, I’m not advocating
butthurt ranting. Be polite but firm, and explain why she is in the
wrong. Shame her for her social impropriety—rudeness and
obnoxiousness—rather than allowing her to shame you for what she
(wrongly) perceives as yours.
Unfortunately, some cock-blocks think they can get away with absurd
degrees of unpleasantness in public. If they are not called out on this,
the problem will only get worse.

A word of warning though—as the incident described here shows, the

woman you stand up to may not be above falsifying her version of
events if you upset her. If she does so, rest assured that there will be
plenty of white knights around to help her out, and some of them may
be wearing security badges.
 [76]

Why Abundance And

Ruthlessness Are Needed To Get
Hot Girls in 2017

I FREQUENTLY have men coming to me with questions about girls

they are dating or would like to date. Sometimes it might be a girl
they met through daygame or night game. They’ve managed to get a
telephone number, but the girl is either not responding to his
messages, or she’s being evasive.
What they all want to know is the answer. What trick or tip do you
have for me to get this one particular girl? What they fail to realise is
that in many cases there is no answer other than ruthlessness and
having several other options to fall back on.

The sexual marketplace today is like the Wild West: no regulation, no

protectionism, and no right of appeal. Girls are literally swamped
with options to a degree that has never been seen before in the history
of the world. There is very little incentive for them to respond to you,
much less treat you with any respect or as though you have any
inherent value.
Think about it. If you were a hot girl back in 1990, you would have a
decent number of admirers, such as guys from school or the gym.
That same girl would have the same plus a whole host of new thirsty
guys after her through the dating sites. Today, however, with social
media and Tinder (plus, e.g., Happn, Bumble), that girl is flooded
with options. For you to break through the noise and actually sleep
with her, you need to have something pretty special going for you.

Today, a girl who is a 7 by any objective standard will get so many

matches on Tinder (plus glances from men at work, in the gym, and
likes on Instagram pictures) that she will likely regard herself as an 8
at least. This will only be exacerbated by the probability that she has
received likes and matches from men in the 8+ bracket who are either
willing to “slum it” for a night or who are spamming in the hope of an
easy lay.
What this means for you is that it is now becoming significantly more
difficult to date a girl who is of equal SMV as you. So if you are a 7, in
many cases, you will find yourself being rejected by women in that
same bracket who ten years ago would probably have slept with you.
By the way, whether or not the 7 in question is actually getting those
hotter guys is almost immaterial. It is the way that the online
approaches from hotter guys make her feel that makes the difference.
Just as the financial markets are extremely sensitive to confidence so is
the sexual marketplace. Just the thought that she could conceivably get
a 9 may be enough for an average girl to turn down a guy equal to her
in SMV.

Against this backdrop, there is little doubt that game is tougher than it
was a decade ago. On the plus side, hopefully the analysis above
shows that if you are getting blowouts it’s not necessarily entirely
your “fault.” There are wider socio-technological factors at play.
If the game is getting tougher on a macro scale, you need to get
tougher too. What this means in practice is that you should maintain a
laser focus on your sexual goals and not waste your time engaging in
any behaviours or activities that won’t get you closer to them.
The first thing you need to do is to ensure that you have abundance.
By that I don’t necessarily mean an abundance of girls you are
sleeping with. What I mean is that you should always maintain a
healthy pipeline of girls whom you are talking to: prospects , if you
like.

How do you do that? If you haven’t already done so, you need to
learn the rudiments of game. There are many resources available to
help you. Then you need to develop an “ABC” attitude: always be
closing. Wherever you are, at whatever time of day or night, you need
to be aware of attractive women around you and ready to approach.
Keep your approaches short and sweet. In most cases, your aim in
each approach is to get her telephone number so that you can add her
on WhatsApp or failing that her Facebook details. Once you have her
contact information, she is in the “funnel” with the other girls you are
working on. It is at this point that “text game” becomes key. Again,
there are plenty of resources available to get you started.
When you start getting girls into your pipeline, your aim is to get
them to meet you for an alcoholic drink. Don’t attempt any other kind
of date. Going for ice cream or boat rides or afternoon tea may seem
cute, but they won’t get you laid. Remember that today it is only by
actually sleeping with a girl that you differentiate yourself slightly
from all the other orbiters in her smartphone.
You need to get to sex as quickly as possible.

Any girl who prevaricates about meeting up, keeps breaking dates, or
attempts to friend zone you must be deleted and blocked from your
phone immediately. If she’s coy about coming out on the date, she’s
playing the market. It’s that simple. Next her.
If she tries to put you in the “friends” box, remember that you have no
time or appetite and next her. If she flakes on you or cancels a date at
the last minute, next her. Next her even if she is superhot, a model,
gives amazing blow jobs, or comes from an amazingly wealthy family
or whatever. Just next her.
Remember that poor female behaviour should be reprimanded, and in
any case, you are a high-value man who goes for what he wants and
doesn’t have time for games.

When any marketplace suffers from a contraction, the only option for
those suffering is to double down, focus exclusively on their targets,
pitch relentlessly, and avoid any silliness or wasting time. With the
sexual marketplace in the state that it is right now, this is doubly true
for those man hoping to achieve a fulfilling sexual and romantic life.
 [77]

5 Ways In Which Game Will

Improve Your Life

THERE ARE TWO COMMON MISCONCEPTIONS about game that

come up time and again. The first is that game is simply a collection of
cheap tricks, chat-up lines, and “negs” rather than an holistic set of
self-development principles that includes—but is by no means limited
to—advice on how to talk to girls. The second is that game is a waste
of time, and that those who engage in it are doing little more than
subjugating themselves to already entitled women.
It probably comes as no surprise to you that I strongly refute both of
these positions, but here I wanted to provide a slightly different
perspective on game, namely that engaging in it will improve many
key areas of your life as a natural side effect alongside your success
with women. To that end, I discuss below five ways in which game
has improved my life and will undoubtedly improve yours too.
1. Vastly Improved Confidence
Let’s be completely honest for a moment. Cold approaching women
one has never met before in the street or in clubs and bars is perhaps
one of the most nerve-wracking things a man can do. Fear of rejection
is hardwired into us, as in prehistoric times it could mean
ostracization from the tribe or even death at the hands of a jealous
alpha male.
While these eventualities are remote in 2017, the vestiges of our
primordial terror remain. We’ve all heard stories of ex-military men,
marines, and the like who have faced incredible danger on the
battlefield but who nevertheless are daunted by the prospect of
having to approach some skinny 23-year-old girl in Starbucks. So the
struggle is real for all of us.
However, the upsides of this are enormous. If you are able to marshal
your fear and approach anyway, you will soon find that your
confidence skyrockets. Not only are you doing something that
perhaps 95% of the rest of the male population lacks the courage to
do, but you are also exposing yourself to many more social situations
than the average person.
As a result, you will find that ordinary, everyday situations, such as
socialising at a party or dealing with people generally, will no longer
faze you. After all, since you’re doing something that would terrify
most of your peers, everything else is going to seem pretty much easy
in comparison. Certainly, I personally find that after a good daygame
session there is really very little that can intimidate me in the rest of
my social life.
2. Better Storytelling Ability
If you go out into a busy city centre and stop 100 girls to talk to them,
you’d better have something to say either prepared or off the cuff.
When you’re standing there before her gaze like a rabbit in the
headlights, it’s very easy to dry up and run out of conversational fuel.
The great thing, though, is that if you approach regularly you will
naturally get better at improvisation and storytelling simply because
you will have to.
What must be understood about so-called storytelling in the context of
game, business, and socialising (and it is crucial for all three) is that
you don’t have to be JK Rowling or Steven King. No, storytelling for
regular social interactions really means making a very little go a very
long way. With enough skill and practice, you can make a story about
how you had to take some shirts to the dry cleaners fascinating and
suspenseful.

Storytelling is a wonderful ability to cultivate since most social and

business scenarios are energised by it. If you can tell a story
engagingly and captivate your listener, you will be considered
intelligent, creative, likable, and interesting, all very much plus points
in whatever sphere you’re concentrating.
3. Improved business skills

Storytelling is only one of several key transferable business skills you

will see improve if you get seriously into game. Since your confidence
will improve, you will also find that your public speaking will get
immeasurably better. You will find recording podcasts or videos a lot
easier. You will become naturally better with clients and suppliers.
If you are cold approaching regularly and keeping a record of your
progress, you will have nurtured both discipline and accountability.
You will have interacted with a large number of people, which will
mean that your insights into current consumers will be improved. You
will likely be less phased by tough negotiations or having to deal with
difficult people. Given how intimidating cold approaching can be
when you start, if you can do that, you can certainly handle a difficult
customer or boss.

4. Sharper Fashion and Grooming

Many men wonder if they should improve their dress sense,
grooming, and physique before they go out to approach girls. My
advice is start approaching today and you will find that you will
naturally begin to improve your overall look anyway. After all, how
can you not? Once you start getting immediate live feedback from the
marketplace by interacting directly with your customers (girls), you
will naturally want to improve your product (yourself) to the best of
your ability.
When I started doing game many years ago, I developed a whole new
level of interest around my grooming, fashion, and physique. After
all, why wouldn’t I? As someone who is continually going up to new,
sexy girls, it was absolutely in my best interests to ensure that I looked
as sharp as possible at all times. This is an example of how the practice
of game itself will naturally lead you to improve your standards in
other areas.
5. A Gateway To A Whole New World of Learning
In a related point to the above, getting into meeting and attracting
girls opened up a whole new world of learning for me for which I will
always be indebted.
Largely as a consequence of the emergence of the Internet, which was
developing in tandem with the modern study of game as we know it,
men began sharing stories, tips, techniques, and advice with one
another online. In time, this advice broadened from simply being
about girls to encompassing a broad range of topics that include
weight training, nutrition, fashion, business, finance, politics, and
even philosophy.
Without a doubt, my interest in game has meant that I have been
exposed to wisdom shared by other men on a whole range of topics
that has entirely changed the direction of my life, an incredible and
unforeseen outcome.

You should by all means get into game because you have a strong
desire to get good with women. That is a natural and laudable goal in
itself, but you should also realise that it is a path strewn with many
other rich fruits, and always keep your eyes and mind open. Game
has significantly improved my life in a great many ways, and it will
yours, too, if you let it.