(Employment) My Mother Is Kicking Me Out of The House If I Don't Quit My Job - Career - Education. I Don't Know What Makes More Financial Sense. - Personalfinance

8/3/2020 [Employment] My mother is kicking me out of the house if I don't quit my job/career/education.
cation. I don't know what makes more financial sen…
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Posted by u/imnotokayh 7 hours ago
[Employment] My mother is kicking me out of the house if I don't quit my

job/career/education. I don't know what makes more financial sense.
Housing
So I have a semester left until I finish my nursing degree. I have a part time job (12 hours a week) at
hospital and I do volunteer work at an old age home.
Right now my income is about $600 a month. At one point I had $3,000 of credit card debt, but I've
paid that off.
But I have no savings - I've been paying for school out of pocket.
The nursing home I volunteer at had a suspected case of corona virus. It turned out to be nothing. My
mother heard, because a friend of a friend of hers lives at that nursing home.
My mother has told me she doesn't want to be exposed to corona virus from me bringing it home
from my job.
I tried explaining that I don't work directly with anyone with a confirmed case. No one I work with has
been confirmed to have the virus. And even if they did, the virus doesn't often kill healthy adults. We
take precautions anyway, like wearing gloves and all that jazz.
She's adamant. This came out of no where. She's always been supportive of me becoming a nurse, I
don't know where this is coming from.
The end result is, is that she's made up her mind. She doesn't want me going to work, school, or my
volunteer position any longer.
I have exactly $200 in savings - I pay her rent every month. I've only ever paid her $100 a month which
is super reasonable - I'm looking at places to rent now and anything decent is $1000 a month or more.
I live in a large city. I don't even have enough for first or last month's rent.
I have a credit card but it only has a $4,000 limit. It's all paid off, but, I don't know if I'd be able to use
that to get a place to live. I should be entirely finished my education by September and I'd very much
like to come to a solution where I can graduate.
I tried looking into student loans, and while I AM eligible, it could take several weeks to receive funds.
My mom brought this up on Thursday, and I agreed to quit school. I'm just lying to her while I figure
out where to live in the event that she kicks me out. I missed 2 days of classes and she was satisfied.
https://www.reddit.com/r/personalfinance/comments/ff0uay/employment_my_mother_is_kicking_me_out_of_the/ 1/18
8/3/2020 [Employment] My mother is kicking me out of the house if I don't quit my job/career/education. I don't know what makes more financial sen…
On Monday I may have to speak to my professors about the situation, but I don't know if I can. I'm so
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embarrassed and stressed out.
I was hoping that I could get a long term air b and b, but they require your debit card information
instead of credit.
There's no part of me that wants to quit school or my job. But I never thought I'd be in this position.
I don't have any family or friends willing to take me in.
Student loans definitely seem like the best long term option but according to friends who have taken
them out, it can take several months (1-4 months in their experience) to receive them, and I need them
now. Unfortunately, since I've never applied, I've been advised that the process may take longer than
usual. I've applied already which is great, but my online profile just says "processing" - I've tried to
reach someone at my school's financial aid office, and everyone had left when I tried to call yesterday
so I just left a message.
Hotels are about $150/night unless I get something in the next city over, which wouldn't give me
enough time to get to school and work everyday.
I don't have a car.
I have today and tomorrow. Monday I have to go to school. I've started packing some clothes just so
there's one less thing to worry about. If the worst happens and I don't know where to go, so far the
only thing I've come up with is calling my mom's extended family and asking for money to put
pressure on her to allow me to stay, but barring that, I have no idea where I'm going to go.
I've read in the past that payday loans are something to avoid, but does it make sense in this situation?
What are my options?
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Folks, please try to stay on-topic (personal finance) and keep your comments respectful.
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Thank you.
OP, the "kicked out" wiki page may be helpful (even if you're legally an adult). Please know
there are lots of resources out there to help you.
You can text "HOME" to 741741 in the US to communicate with a Crisis Text Line volunteer
anytime, about any type of crisis. You would be connected with a Crisis Responder, a person
trained to bring texters from a hot moment to a cool calm through active listening and
collaborative problem-solving.
In most of the US, you can also call 211. They can help connect you with resources.
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 WetFrenchKiss 861 points · 7 hours ago
 Right after you go explain what has happened to your professors Monday your next stop
should be to your schools financial aid office. Go in and explain to them and they may have
grant or scholarship money or be able to expedite the process of getting you loan money to
get a place. Also look into temporarily rooming with friends, even just couch surfing for a
week can buy you enough time to square things away and get a place.
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 imnotokayh  273 points · 7 hours ago

 The problem is that the financial aid office is only open during hours I have class.
I looked at their website and they do have an emergency assistance loan, but it's only
available once the last student has paid it off. IDK how reliable that will be.
I'm dreading having this conversation with my professors but I don't see how I can avoid it.
Having some room to deal with this throughout the week is going to be necessary. I can't
think of anything to get money immediately just in case.
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 Gary_Antoinette 476 points · 6 hours ago

 Talk to your professors! It will be sooooo much better if they understand why you missed
class than if you don’t tell them. If you don’t they’ll just assume you don’t care.
Is the volunteer position something you have to do for school or could you quit that?
Your mom is being unreasonable, but maybe she’d be satisfied with that?
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 I need to volunteer there for a year in order to get a reference. If I quit, that's 8
months gone to waste with nothing to show for it.
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 Forlace Score hidden · 40 minutes ago

 RN here. You don’t need a reference. As long as you pass your NCLEX and have a
pulse, you’ll get a job.
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 tajodo42 Score hidden · 15 minutes ago

 Another RN seconding this. I had zero time for volunteer work. If any
references had been required it would have been from professors.
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 nullityrofl 127 points · 4 hours ago

 If it's a written reference you're after, try asking. They may understand and it
never hurts to ask.
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 redditor1983 Score hidden · 16 minutes ago

 I want to reinforce what other people are saying: Talk to your professors!
It may not seem like it, but there are very few real rules in college. Your professors
and faculty make the rules, and they can make HUGE exceptions. If you're a good
student and you're in real trouble, most professors will help you.
And I'll let you in on a little secret: No college wants someone dropping out
one semester from graduation. They want to graduate their students. People
will help you. Talk to your professors. Talk to your dean. Talk to your
academic advisor. If you need to miss a class to talk to these people, do it.
Trust me, they will help you.
Also, and I know you're really scared right now, but you're going to be ok. You're
actually in a pretty good position:
1. Even if the worst case scenario happens and you have to get a full time job
to pay your bills, you only have one semester left. You can take one or two
classes at a time for a little while, and you'll get it done. I did this.
2. You currently have no student loans. If you have to take out loans, even for a
year and half (assuming you're also working full time taking a couple classes
at a time), you'll still graduate with relatively little loan debt. You can pay that
off in no time.
I know this is really scary, but you're going to make it. The finish line is in sight.
You will cross that finish line, even if you have to limp over it a little more slowly
than you thought. It will be ok!
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 wildeflowers 201 points · 3 hours ago

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 Do not under any circumstances quit your volunteer position and ask them for a
reference early, using this explanation, but you DO need to talk to your professors
ASAP. I honestly don't think that the nursing home will be very understanding of
an adult nurse in training, being bullied by her mother, quitting a volunteer
position 4 months early that guarantees a good reference for a great job in order
to pacify the mother. In fact, if you quit and ask for a reference early and tell them
this story, I would likely think they would absolutely not give a reference.
I know this seems harsh and I really empathize with the position you are in, but if
you allow yourself to be bullied by your mother in this way over a mostly irrational
fear, so irrational that she wants her daughter to give up a career that she is
almost through training for, what does that say about your ability to remain
ethical and professional when you are in the medical field and under an intense
amount of pressure. That is how the person giving the reference is probably going
to view this, even if that's not an entirely accurate picture.
You need to call her bluff, but if you have any friends that will allow you to couch
surf in an emergency have them on standby. You need to finish your education
and then get the hell out. Come home to sleep, and that's it. If worse comes to
worse, I've slept in my car. It sucks but it's temporary.
Has she ever tried to sabotage you before? A friend of mine has a mom that does
this, and it's so hard for her to see it when it's happening.
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 Runnrgirl 109 points · 2 hours ago

 You don’t need a reference to get a nursing job. They are only doing that to get
free work out of you. Hospitals are begggging for nurses. Don’t waste precious
time on a selfish shit hole.
And ignore this persons advice. Students are just that- students. The adult
world does not expect an adult student to be able to work for free. This is
essentially a scam to get free labor. Hospitals don’t care that you volunteered
in a nursing home. Those references are helpful to get you into nursing school
but useless beyond that.
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 YT_kevfactor 34 points · 2 hours ago

 i work a cleaning position at a hospital here. Just biding time as it really
reduces my college expenses. but seeing how the place works, just going in
at the bottom and working your way up is 5 times better than the reference
stuff. Also, nurses are in demand about as bad as teachers are. The
references do help you get a position and probably some of the better
ones. but honestly, if you have the education and training, you'll get a job
easy as boomers pops are exploding. I've seen people that have been
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terminated let back on :)
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 Dazd_cnfsd 41 points · 2 hours ago

 I think you misunderstand the position she is in.
The person who controls if she has a roof over her head is threatening to kick
her out if she doesn’t do what she says.
This means that’s a card her mother is willing to play and she should get out as
soon as possible
My best suggestion is to explain that; I need to go to school as all that time

and money would be wasted but will quit my job and ask that you don’t ask for
rent while I find another job as money is still needed (and will pay to get you
out of this situation long term) and go from there.
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 KingKookus 30 points · 2 hours ago

 Op doesn’t have a car. Can not afford school. Calling her bluff may result in Op
homeless and with no way to survive let alone afford to finish her education.
All of this for a reference?
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 tr3kstar 151 points · 6 hours ago

 The problem is that the financial aid office is only open during hours I have class. Mention
this when discussing the issue with professors, one of them may be willing to let you
skip an additional day (or even just part of one) to get it done.
I looked at their website and they do have an emergency assistance loan, but it's only
available once the last student has paid it off. IDK how reliable that will be. It exists, it's
worth looking in to.
I'm dreading having this conversation with my professors but I don't see how I can avoid it.
You cannot, at least not if you want to graduate on time. If I thought they'd see it (don't
know your school/program size) I might even go so far as to email them all together
with a summary, questions I have and what I needed (if anything).
You can do it!
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 dreamtigerz 107 points · 4 hours ago

 Am a college teacher. Talk to your profs! We often can point students to resources they
don't know about. I'm in the US. My school has a special resource center called Single
Stop which has all kinds college and community aid for students. Your teachers may
have something similar they can put you in touch with. Most colleges have some sort of
emergency help for students. It may not even operate through financial aid.
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 Maktesh 29 points · 2 hours ago

 Can second. Most of us are eager to do what we can to support our students, and
there are almost always a number of buried resources available through numerous
departments.
At my college, students who "face risk of homelessness" are allowed to apply for
special academic and financial assistance.
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 56789012346 Score hidden · 39 minutes ago

 Can third. Our school has something called a 72 hour box. It’s for students like
yourself who find themselves suddenly kicked out. It contains everything you could
need to survive for 72 hours such as toiletries, snacks, etc. Our school will also help
find or transport students to temporary housing. SPEAK to financial aid, mention that
it is an emergency situation, things can be set in motion for you.
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 HerefortheFruitLoops Score hidden · 35 minutes ago

 Also, some professors are just truly incredible people who not only care about
making a difference in their students lives - but also have the resources and
wherewithal to do so.
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 Arcturus83 55 points · 5 hours ago

 I'd email your professors ASAP and just explain the situation. I don't know how strict
your program is, but at the least, they will (most likely) work with you as much as they
can. I'd also tell them that you will not be in class on Monday (or whenever) because you
will be at the Financial Aid Office. This is obviously a serious situation, it's not like you're
blowing off class for something random and minor. I understand that it feels
embarrassing, but remember, this isn't on you--you have nothing to be embarrassed
about. You're simply trying to handle your business as professionally as possible.
The Financial Aid office should be able to lay out all of your options. I can pretty much
guarantee you won't be the first person they've had to help in a situation like this. You
may also need to speak with someone in your nursing program, but your professors
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may be able to give you an idea if that is necessary or not.
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 LeskoLesko 89 points · 4 hours ago

 College professor here. We are so familiar with the right people to talk to. My refrain to
students is we cannot help you if you do not say anything! Even if I don't know how to
help, I do know the student services department, the accommodations department, the
emergency programs coordinator, and more. Your professors will not see it as an
embarrassment stemming from you. You are doing the right thing: you're actively
solving a problem instead of giving up.
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 RandomizedRedditUser 32 points · 4 hours ago

 I would recommend going to class early, pulling the professor aside right there and
letting them know what's up. Then, explain and leave class directly for the financial aid
department and dont leave there until you speak to people in authority. Its their job to
help students.
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 classycatman 22 points · 3 hours ago

 Your professors have heard worse. Talk to them. They want to help.
As for the FA office only being open when you’re in class, stop with excuses and just go.
Not trying to be harsh, but if you start down this road with an “everything is a roadblock;
poor me” mindset, it will be a self-fulfilling prophecy.
In an extreme case, email the FA office and ask for an appointment outside normal
hours. They, too, want you to succeed.
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 WetFrenchKiss 16 points · 6 hours ago

 Then see if your professors will give you some time to go down there or call them during
some downtime to see if they can meet you outside if their hours. The website will not
state the full breadth of what they can do to help you which is why it's imperative to
meet with them in some fashion.
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 Filthy_do_gooder 11 points · 3 hours ago

 This is simple. But don't mistake that for easy-
1. you have to mollify your professors concerns and get them into your corner. Your
situation is absurd, but that doesn't mean it isn't valid. You may torch a semester,
but I'm willing to bet that any professor with a student in your situation who is
staring down the barrel of a pandemic and is still all about it won't have any
problems with giving you the incomplete and letting you sort your shit out.
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Seriously, this isn't a big deal.
2. You need money. Once you are approved, you can get financial aid. FILL OUT THE
FAFSA right now. This MUST be done. do it on your phone or whatever.
3. you need to go talk to your financial aid office. Skip half of your first class to do
this, because on the list of things that have to happen, this is the most time
sensitive.
So, steps:
2, 3, 1. In that order. do this monday. and stop by your advisors office after financial aid
to let them know what you're dealing with. You'll more than make up the damage of
loans as a nurse and if you get antsy, there's travel nursing, which will effectively
doubleish your salary.
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 Rand_alThor_ 12 points · 2 hours ago

 Professors are understanding people. Talk to them.
Also tell your mother that she is jepordizing Your future. Is that what she wants? For you
to be a college dropout with no job and no future? ( we Are exaggerating here for effect
of course.)
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 sweetfire009 9 points · 2 hours ago

 It sounds like the mother may be mentally unstable, especially if this is out of
character... for her to jeopardize her daughter's future by insisting she quarantine
herself in the house over on the off chance she may catch a virus (which isn't even
that severe in most cases) is nonsense. No sane parent would do that to their child.
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 wouldyouratherpink5 10 points · 4 hours ago

 I mean, you already missed two entire days of class to convince your mom you’d quit...
what’s one class more?
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 Runnrgirl 10 points · 2 hours ago

 Your professors will be understanding and helpful. I promise. (Nurse here who went
through some crazy drama during my second semester of nursing school).
Tell them first thing Monday then miss class to go to the financial aid office. Check your
school’s website for folks looking to rent a room out. Ask your professors if they know
anyone looking to trade nurse assistant care for lodging. Apply for food stamps and
section 8 housing. Look for womens shelters. Contact food pantries rather than buying
groceries. Quit your volunteer job for more hours at your paying job.
Avoid your credit card except for total necessities. Credit card is waaay better than a
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payday loan.
Do whatever you can to keep from dropping out. Nursing is a great job and will get you
on your feet quickly. Quitting school will derail your life.
You got this. Don’t be afraid to ask for help!

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 bluepisces1980 7 points · 4 hours ago

 Please talk to your professors... they will atleast hopefully grant you a little leeway...
you’ve bade it’s almost to the end. By that point they trust you will be able to finish the
program... I guarantee your not the first nor the last Nursing student that’s been in a
messy home situation.
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 fastdbs 5 points · 2 hours ago
 The problem is that the financial aid office is only open during hours I have class.
When we are stressed out we don’t think straight. You already missed 2 days and are
talking about missing all the other days by quitting. You can miss a class to go to the aid
office. Also talk to your professors. They are vested in your success!
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 cavmax 2 points · 3 hours ago

 Also in applying for student loans,your parents have to give financial info unless you
have been out of high school for 4 years I believe. Confirm this but that is what I
remember for Ontario when going through this.After 4 years you can apply without
parents financial info needed
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 MissyTheMouse Score hidden · 35 minutes ago

 There is an additional form to fill out for uncooperative parents to do a FAFSA without
their info. I don't remember the name, but the FA office for sure knows what it is.
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 JimiSlew3 2 points · 3 hours ago

 I am in the us but email your finaid office and see if u can meet with someone outside
normal hours. Explain situation in email. Do it now, today. Email profs. Email ur schools
housing director if they have dorms. I work in us higher ed and those I work with would
do anything in their power to not lose u as a student. Good luck!
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 rightioushippie 1 point · 3 hours ago
 Is there any student housing at your school? They may be able to put you in a dorm
room. My school offered to put me in an emergency dorm room after a terrorist attack
in my city made my place unlivable.
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 xixi4059 16 points · 2 hours ago

 I would actually recommend going to your dean of students office (assuming your
university has one ). I work at a university and majority of faculty do not know what
resources are available. I would only talk to your professors if you need some leeway with
your classes.
The dean of students office at my university offers emergency loans, and they can work
with other campus entities to help you with financial aid and housing. I know mine has
helped expedite financial aid when needed.
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 Made pretty much literally (though not verbatim) this comment just now without having
scrolled all the way through first... so yeah... what you said
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 mbt20 971 points · 7 hours ago
 Don't quit school, especially so close to finishing. You'll have to get a regular job, but once
finished you'll have a great job immediately.
If you're paying rent stick it to her when she tries to kick you out. Look up state laws for
renting. 30 days written notice is required where I live. In that time you should be able to
figure something out.
She can't just kick you out over night if you pay rent.

 I live in Canada, and the laws are really fuzzy here if you share a house with the landlord.
But my mom's not a landlord. We don't have a contract and I've just giving her cash or an e
transfer. It was all very informal. She could easily dismiss it as "she was contributing to the
household or paying me back for something."
What happens if I just refuse to leave?

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 mbt20 382 points · 7 hours ago

 It's a verbal contract. You've agreed to pay a specified amount. If it's electronic transfers
you have proof of specified payments at specific time intervals.
Remember she's kicking you out over being scared she might catch the flu. Stick up for
yourself it's one of the most absurd reasons I've ever heard for getting kicked out of
housing.
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 NewChameleon 143 points · 7 hours ago

 oof if OP is in Ontario Canada then iirc OP has no legal stand, there is literally no law,
the Ontario RTA (Residential Tenancies Act) does not apply if you share the house so
OP's mom could 100%, legally, kick OP out tomorrow
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 yep =/
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 confuzedas 62 points · 4 hours ago

 I'm in Ontario too, if your that close to finishing can you give your rent money
to some friends that rent in the area? It what about going to the school for
emergency residence, assuming it's a university. Go to the papers/internet and
find a sub let it short term contact. If anyone has a l place that isn't full it won't
be until next September.
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 onepinkporpoise 62 points · 3 hours ago

 Speak to residence at your school. Most colleges and universities in Ontario
have crash beds for emergencies like this. It may only be available for a few
days or weeks, but it's likely that at this time of year there's room. If
residence isn't responsive, often an academic advisor or program
coordinator can get the ball rolling for you. Good luck!
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 bluntlysorrynotsorry 15 points · 3 hours ago

 I agree with u/confuzedas - but if you can't find any friends or family to move
in with, consider looking at local Facebook groups/Craigslist/newspaper
classifieds or something. I know it's a scary prospect to move in with strangers,
but if you can find them on social media, you can sort of "vet" them first and
get an idea of who they are.
You'd probably be best off looking for an "established" roommate situation,

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because the security deposit and such will have already been paid and they're
unlikely to ask for anything more than your portion of the rent and utilities.
There are also places (though I'm in the US) that have suite-style apartments
where each tenant has their own bedroom and bathroom, then they share a
living room/kitchen/laundry area; I think that arrangement typically still
requires a deposit.
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 Hachoosies 9 points · 2 hours ago

 Are you acquainted with any of your neighbors? You could mention it to them
and see if they'd rent you a room for $100/month until the end of the year. If
they know you or your family somewhat then they may feel comfortable and
trust you.
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 merinis Score hidden · 43 minutes ago

 Jesus. I'm kinda surprised to find a situation where the states has more
reasonable protection laws compared to another modern country for a change.
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 magictubesocksofjoy 30 points · 3 hours ago

 talk to your school's financial aid office - i'm in ontario and i was able to get emergency
interim funding (then paid back the school when osap did arrive) in the past. the school
likely has some bursaries and may even be able to hook you up with reduced residence
housing. they want you to graduate. they can help connect you to community resources.
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 dingyflyswat 17 points · 5 hours ago

 Sorry to hijack this comment, and it isn't ideal but what if you used your credit card to
pay for a hotel, then applied for an overnight job while finishing your classes (again
super not ideal) but that is how I would maybe get out of this situation by the skin of my
teeth.
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 Beeb294 3 points · 4 hours ago

She could easily dismiss it as "she was contributing to the household or paying me
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back for something."
If it gets that far, likely it would have to go to court anyway which takes time. But even
then, typically renters have rights even without a formal lease. Courts aren't just going
to accept that at face value without asking questions. Just because she says it, doesn't
mean that the court or police will believe her.
Also, if it comes to family, then a concept called ejectment may apply and regular
eviction procedures may not.
What happens if I just refuse to leave?
You should find someone in your area who can give a more specific answer here,
however if you have some kind of proof of residence (an ID with the address is great, but
bills, school records, or other documents you've received at this address can suffice), the
police won't forcibly remove you and they'll tell the landlord to get an eviction order
through the courts.
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 traintown22 1 point · 3 hours ago

 You don't have to have a contract declaring you a tenant. You would statutorily be a
tenant
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 gamert1 1 point · 3 hours ago

 Your sublet, even if not on the lease your subletting from her. She still can't kick you out
Edit saw Ur in Ontario, sorry. Not applicable
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 theizzeh 1 point · 2 hours ago

 You may be able to contact your school. They should have an emergency
accommodations program especially with current situations
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4 more replies
 Don't quit!
Your school likely has resources you can use to find and possibly emergency fund a
reasonable place to live.
Do inform your professors of your situation, they'll be more likely to work with you if you level
with them. Hell, they might even offer you the couch in their office.
Make friends with aSearch

resident physician or security guard and get them to let you sleep/shower
in a local university hospital. U of Utah hospital/med school has a ton of places one can
disappear to for the night.
Dont give up. It sounds very much like this is what you want to do with your life.
1 more reply
 Harold_Balzac 92 points · 5 hours ago
 First and foremost, it sounds like you have your priorities straight i.e. finish your education.
As a fellow Canadian I'll throw some ideas out here that might not occur to non-Canadians as
well as a couple general ones.
Do any of your class mates have a shared rent that they've had someone drop out? I'm
sure they would be more than willing to split the rent on a 3 bedroom 3 ways instead of
two for the rest of the semester.
Put a post up on Kijiji or something similar looking for a room to let for the rest of the
semester. As my wife said when I showed her your story, you're the kind of person we'd
love to help out.
While you say you don't have any family or friends who could give you a roof in the city,
do you have anyone, aunts, uncles, grand parents etc. who would be willing to help you
a bit financially for a few months to GET a roof?
In addition to talking to your university's finance department, talk to your province's
Social Development department, or whatever it's called there. It's possible that they may
have subsidized housing available for a fraction of what normal rents would be. They
may have some short term student assistance available as well.
If you get a roof and can continue your studies but find the pantry bare, swallow your
pride and stop by the local food bank. They WANT to help. When you're out making good
money as a nurse simply return the favor either by helping out or donating as you can.
At the end of the day, the last two options may be the most contentious and hard to swallow
personally. Just remember, situations like yours are the reason our social safety net was built
in the first place. After all, the government stands to get a better return on investment in the
form of lifetime taxes for a well paid nurse that they had to help out for six months than a
lifetime of menial work because you didn't finish your degree. And they're looking at getting
another much needed RN/LPN (not sure what level your degree is) than just another mouth
playing the system.
 starwarsfan456123789 105 points · 7 hours ago


You’ve just learned something vital - parents are not always right. If she is wanting you to drop
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not just a job but a highly respectable career, I think you have to be done with her.
Don’t try to rent with no income- hopefully you can couch surf with friends or something. Is
there possibly a cot available at your job?
This is honestly the worst story I’ve ever heard... i have to think your friends and community
will be sympathetic for the short term

 hopefully you can couch surf with friends or something. Is there possibly a cot available
at your job?
No. I don't really have a lot of friends. It's a little sad. The last time someone texted me was
maybe two weeks ago? It would be inappropriate and out of no where to ask anyone I'm in
contact with for a bed to sleep in.
I try but nothing seems to click. Anyway, no, I don't really have friends, and my family is
small, no one else in this city except my mom.
Share 
 shhJustLetItHappen 67 points · 5 hours ago

 I think you are underestimating your classmates. When I started grad school, I let a
classmate crash in my living room with her stuff for 3-4 days until her apartment was
available and we had only known each other 2 weeks.
Plus if you start asking around now, you have a better chance at finding something
because you will be able to talk to more people. Yes, it will be embarrassing, but your
mom is the one who should be embarrassed not you. That would be how i recommend
you look at it.
Where to look for a place to stay: classmates, your professors (gently say you are out of
a place to live and have no loans. They are people and want you to succeed. You might
get lucky that someone has an empty spare room. You can simply say "I'm looking for a
place to stay while i get on my feet so that i can finish school. If you know of anyone with
a spare room please let me know." Emphasize you are clean, respectful, polite, flexible,
etc. Lastly, ask classmates if their parents or relatives have a spare room. It gets more
likely when their kids are older and parents want to see kids/students make it.
Finally, might your mom calm down slightly and be willing to compromise? Maybe you
could end your volunteering with patients and tell her you will only consider taking
nurse jobs that dont interact directly with patients? You could buy time and get your
loan money and move out or something else.
Good luck and hang in there. Everyones life throws them curves but you almost never
see other people's! Worse case if you took a semester off, if school lets you pick back up,
it would be a small bump ten years from now career wise.

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Share 
 whythesadfacedonna 19 points · 4 hours ago

 This . I’m at university myself and people are willing to help you out . There is literally
no harm in asking . If someone asked me to help them out in a similar situation I
would so you should definitely talk to your classmates and friends .
Share 

 I'm hoping that my mom does calm down. I think she's just been watching too much
cable news or reading too many things on face book. That's the best case scenario.
Second best case scenario is that she means it but I lie to her.
Third best case is that she means it and tries to get me to leave but no one takes her
seriously.
Fourth best case is that I get kicked out and my school has some kind of emergency
program. I've checked online and in the past a lot of students have taken to
alternating between libraries to sleep in.
I think you are underestimating your classmates
No, I'm just accurately assessing the appropriate response to a stranger asking you
to live with them. I didn't emphasize this issue, because it's not central, but I live in
near isolation socially. It's not a matter of other people's good will, it's a matter of not
having anyone to ask this of. And, about a year ago, my phone got wiped. I had some
acquaintances, we'd exchange happy birthdays, but had otherwise grown apart. I lost
their phone numbers. None of them have cared enough to stay in contact that I've
even had a text back from them to re-learn what they're phone numbers were. It was
a tough pill to swallow - I was carrying the entire friendship or conversation and none
of them cared... it was the end of those friendships, when I lost their numbers,
because effort only went one way. Some of those people I've known since grade
school, and, if I had to, they'd be the ones to ask. At least they know me. I found one
on facebook and she's moved to a different city. None of the others I even know how
to reach anymore. Who else do I have? Maybe the numbers of ex boyfriends? The guy
who abused me and the other one who cheated? I've made the mistake in my life of
dedicating too much social effort to having boyfriends and not enough to creating a
network of friendships. I've been trying especially since I realized no one's texted me
since the phone incident, but it's really hard to make friends.
I understand you mean to be helpful, but I wish you believed me when I say I have no
one. If my class mates even knew my name I'd be surprised.
Share 


 Offer to pay whatever you've been paying your mom as rent (or more, as much as
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you can afford) to sleep on somebody's couch. It's a business transaction, not a
favor, so it doesn't matter if you're friends or not. People find roommates on
Craigslist--compared to a Craigslist rando your classmates will feel safer renting to
you just from seeing you in class every day even if you don't talk much.
Share 
 msgmeyourcatsnudes 10 points · 3 hours ago

 C’mon dude. Are you really suggesting that it is totally normal for some
classmate you’ve barely interacted with to ask if she can sleep on your couch
for $100 a month?
Share 

 Not a dude. And it depends how you broach the subject. "Can I sleep on
your couch for $100/month?" would be weird. "I'm looking for a place to
crash and my budget is really tight. Do you have room for a guest or know
anyone who might?" is pretty normal. And sometimes desperate situations
require you to go a bit outside social norms.
Share 
 msgmeyourcatsnudes 8 points · 2 hours ago

 Dude is a gender neutral term.
Sorry, it’s hella weird. I wouldn’t even consider it if I was asked that by
someone I barely knew.
Share 

 I wouldn't either, but some people are weirdly chill about it.
couchsurfing.com exists and I know normal-seeming people who let
strangers from there stay at their places.
Share 
1 more reply
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(Employment) My Mother Is Kicking Me Out of The House If I Don't Quit My Job - Career - Education. I Don't Know What Makes More Financial Sense. - Personalfinance

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8/3/2020 [Employment] My mother is kicking me out of the house if I don't quit my job/career/education.

cation. I don't know what makes more financial sen…

Posted by u/imnotokayh 7 hours ago

[Employment] My mother is kicking me out of the house if I don't quit my

I don't have any family or friends willing to take me in.

I don't have a car.

What are my options?

 303 Comments  Give Award  Share  92% Upvoted

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dequeued Wiki Contributor Score hidden · 58 minutes ago · Stickied comment 

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 WetFrenchKiss 861 points · 7 hours ago

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 imnotokayh  273 points · 7 hours ago

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 Dazd_cnfsd 41 points · 2 hours ago

My best suggestion is to explain that; I need to go to school as all that time

 KingKookus 30 points · 2 hours ago

 tr3kstar 151 points · 6 hours ago

You can do it!

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 Runnrgirl 10 points · 2 hours ago

You got this. Don’t be afraid to ask for help!

 bluepisces1980 7 points · 4 hours ago

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 imnotokayh  207 points · 7 hours ago

What happens if I just refuse to leave?

 mbt20 382 points · 7 hours ago

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 bluntlysorrynotsorry 15 points · 3 hours ago

You'd probably be best oﬀ looking for an "established" roommate situation,

 Hachoosies 9 points · 2 hours ago

 merinis Score hidden · 43 minutes ago