

Am I in an Abusive Relationship?
It can be hard to tell whether you’re in an abusive relationship, especially if the abuse isn’t
physical. A reason why abuse can be confusing is that abusers often shift the blame, or
deny or minimise the abuse — these tactics are, in fact, part of the abuse. Moreover, an
abuser may not be actively violent all the time, and there can be “good” moments in the
relationship, which makes an abusive relationship even more confusing.

Here are some questions you can ask to assess if you’re in an abusive relationship:

 Do you feel fear, or like you’re walking on eggshells when you’re with your partner?
YES
 Does your partner control you? YES
 Is there a power imbalance in your relationship? YES

If you’ve answered yes to any of the above questions, this could be a red flag.
Below are further signs that you may be in an abusive relationship. Do note that the list
below is not exhaustive.
Physical abuse
 slapping
 choking
 causing you fear by looks, actions, or gestures
 forbidding you from falling asleep
 preventing you from calling for help

Psychology
 putting you down
 shaming and humiliating you
 criticising you constantly
 undermining your self-worth
 blaming you for the abuse
 playing the victim
 denying or minimising the abuse
 guiltripping
 threatening to harm themselves if you don’t comply with their demands

Social Isolation
 preventing you from leaving home or contacting friends or family
 undermining your relationship with friends and family
 monitoring your movements
 constantly texting or calling to find out where you are and whom you’re with

Financial Abuse

 making you economically dependent by maintaining complete control over financial

resources
 withholding access to money or giving an allowance and closely monitoring
expenses