Revisions: In my connect, I brought up the conferences to build off of what we talked about last week.

In the teach,
I added in a graphic organizer and changed the order in how I presented the graphic organizer. In the active
involvement (we do) I had my students stop and visualize their own story and draw what they saw. For the part
where it's the student’s turn, I provided them with another graphic organizer because before I only had them
working with one. (Note in the we do and you do, I rearranged a lot of information so it was in the correct spot). I
also tweaked my link and close. Overall, I omitted information in my mini-lesson that wasn’t explicit and added
more in depth steps.
Mini-Lesson

Title: Stop and Visualize

Date: September 18, 2018
Iowa Core: W.3.3 Write narratives to develop real or imagined experiences or events using
effective technique, descriptive details, and clear event sequences.
a. Outcome/Goal: I can . . . Use dialogue and descriptions of actions, thoughts, and
feelings to develop experiences and events or show the response of characters to
situations.
Teaching Point: How to create sensory imagery through descriptive texts
Assessment: Can the students meet the criteria of the 6 Trait Rubric by using words to convey
precise and compelling meaning and/or create a vivid picture for their reader

Connect
Gain student’s
attention.
The teacher tells the
students today’s goal
and teaching point,
and how this work is
relevant to their
writing.
● Henderson, Ruth and Carter, great job so far at developing your
personal narrative! I can tell how you guys were excited or scared
in your stories because of the words you decided to write!
Reading your stories with the descriptive texts make me want
more!
● Since you guys are finishing up your stories, I want us to go back
and look at our stories and be able to add more descriptive detail.
● Remember last week during our conferences I talked to you all
on how we can end our stories with good descriptive language so
our reader understands how we felt as we, *looks at Henderson*
when we left the waterpark feeling exhausted. Or when you felt
sad you were leaving your friend *looks at Ruth* and how you
felt excited to come back home and see your cat *looks at
Carter*. Can you all recall how we talked about that and how
important it is to add that descriptive detail into your story so
your reader can get a better understanding of how you felt or
what you saw? (Wait for them to remember last weeks
conference) It makes the reader feel as if they were right there
with you!
● Today I am going to show you how the words we choose can
create a vivid picture for our reader! We will add descriptive
language to our personal narratives by STOPPING and
VISUALIZING the scene in our head then drawing what we see
onto a worksheet.
Teach ● I am going to read aloud how my personal narrative sounded
BEFORE I added in descriptive language. Once I finish reading
Show and tell – modeling my story I am going to go back to the beginning and I’m going to
(I do it).
STOP and VISUALIZE that exact scene in my head.
The teacher shows and ● As I’m visualizing my story I will cover my eyes and recall the
tells the students event. I will talk out loud as I keep my eyes closed. I will tell
something writers do.
them how I chased my dripping wet dog across the beach.
The teacher ● I will remove my hands from my eyes and pull out my graphic
demonstrates with a organizer. I will draw myself chasing after my dripping wet dog
mentor text.
across a beach.
● Then I will remove post-it notes that are covering the descriptive
texts I just described on my own hard-copy of my personal
narrative.
● I will continue with my story from where I left on and then stop
and close my eyes again to visualize the event.
● I will say how it wasn’t just any summer day, it was “a blazing
hot summer day”. I will remove my hands from my eyes and then
draw a blazing hot sun onto my graphic organizer. When I’m
finished drawing the sun I will remove post-it notes that are
covering the descriptive texts I just drew/described while closing
my eyes.
● I will close my eyes again and continue to recall the event…
“The water was mucky and chilly.” “I kept Franco on his short
brown leash as we walked slowly into the water”... I will remove
my hands from my eyes and color in the lake to make it look
mucky and draw Franco on a short brown leash. Once I’m done
coloring/sketching I will remove post-it notes covering the next
part I just described.
● I will continue to do this until I finish my first paragraph.
● I will ask my students if my story created a vivid picture for them
in their own heads with my new choice of words.
Active ● Now let’s work on this together!
Involvement ● Read your own personal narrative and then stop and visualize
what you see.
Prompted guided practice ● Once you have that image in your head, open your eyes and draw
what’s been taught (We do
it). what you saw on your graphic organizer
Prompts: ● I will be here for assistance if you need help. (Watching the
● Visual prompts.
● Verbal prompts students while they draw, to see what they are visualizing to
● Physical prompts make sure that it is descriptive)
Levels of scaffolding:
● Tell, Ask and Remind ● I want you to continue to read through your story and stopping
them what to do and visualizing the events, then adding what you saw to your
graphic organizer
● You can use colored pencils to illustrate what you saw when you
closed your eyes and visualized the scene like how I did!
● Awesome drawings! Now you see that descriptive detail allows
readers to see a mental image of what they are reading and how
 using this worksheet allowed you to sketch what you were
actually seeing in your head!
● Can you tell me again how we can add in sensory detail to our
stories?
● Yes, by STOPPING and VISUALIZING that certain event!
Active ● Now it’s your turn writers!
Involvement ● I want you to be able to add that sensory detail into your own
stories so your reader is able to visualize a picture in their mind
Unprompted practice like you just did!
(You do it.) ● Remember how my story sounded before and after I added
descriptive texts.
● If you get stuck, refer back to your graphic organizer and
remember what you drew and add that description to your story!
● I will provide you with another graphic organizer to continue to
draw what you visualized when you stopped. Make sure to add
what you visualized/drew to your story.
Link ● Today we talked about adding descriptive language to our
personal narratives to make it more interesting to the reader. We
The teacher reiterates did this by stopping and visualizing as we read our stories and
the teaching point and then drawing what we saw on a graphic organizer.
links the lesson to the
students’ writing lives.
● Remember, we want our reader to feel as if they were right there
with us as they are reading our story. In order to do that we need
to describe our events in a detailed manner so they can picture
our story!
Close ● Now I want one of you to share your personal narratives with the
descriptive detail added in.
Very brief. The closing is ● While one student is sharing I want the other two students to pay
tied to the mini-lesson and
is used as a time to review, close attention.
troubleshoot, or further ● Once the author is done reading I will have the other two students
instruct.
share what visual texts really stood out to them.
● Amazing job today! You all did such a wonderful job at adding
detail to your stories. I am able to picture exactly what you are
saying by the words you decided to use! Remember if you ever
get stuck describing an event, STOP and VISUALIZE!
Reflection: Today’s mini lesson went better than I expected! Right away I noticed that
Henderson was absent so it was just Ruth and Carter. I started off asking them how their
weekend was and then jumped into the mini lesson. Before I talked about what I was going to
show them, I brought up last week’s conferences and how we discussed closing our personal
narratives by expressing our feelings and choosing our words wisely to end our paper. I then
continued to explain how today we will be learning how to use descriptive texts in our personal
narrative so it creates a vivid image for our reader. I pulled out the graphic organizer and my
hard-copy of my just the first paragraph of my personal narrative with post-it notes covering up
descriptive texts. I figured the kids were going to try and read what was underneath but they gave
up after I said we will be getting to it. I read my first paragraph of my personal narrative out loud
omitting the words I had covered up. When I finished I explained how it is important to give
more detail so your reader is able to picture your story in their head. I went back to the beginning
and stopped and closed my eyes to visualize. I really got into the visualizing part and spoke out
loud about what I saw. It came to my awareness, after the mini lesson, that Carter was waving
his hands in front of me- goofing off. Once I visualized the scene, I grabbed my graphic
organizer and drew what I saw then I took off the post-it notes that I had the detail I just
visualized/drew. I did this until I finished my first paragraph. When I was finished it was Ruth’s
and Carter’s turn. At first I could tell they felt awkward covering their eyes, so Carter just closed
his eyes to visualize. I asked them questions while they were closing their eyes. For example,
Carter said how he looked out the cruise ship window. I asked him what did he see. He said he
saw water. I asked him if the water was mucky and dark green like the water in my story. He said
no it was clear blue. Both Carter and Ruth drew what they visualized until they filled up their
graphic organizer. The down side to this was that Ruth was taking too much time to draw and
color. I showed her my graphic organizer and how it wasn’t super pretty but it still got the idea
across. Once we were finished we moved on and I had them start to add in their descriptive
language and provided them with another graphic organizer. Carter was more hesitant than Ruth
and had to be reminded to focus on his work quite a bit (but this is something I have
accommodated too since last week’s conference). I asked him more questions to get him really
thinking about the detail he could add into his story. When time was coming to an end I wrapped
up the mini lesson and went over how they can use this strategy of STOPPING and
VISUALIZING in future stories. I had them both demonstrate how they can visualize their
stories (by closing their eyes/putting their hands over their eyes). We didn’t have time for each of
them to read their personal narratives out-loud but they still got the main idea. Overall I am very
pleased with how this lesson went!
6 Trait Assessment:
Voice: Does the writer use tone and style appropriate to the task, purpose, and audience of the
piece?
Word Choice: Does the author’s choice of words convey precise and compelling meaning and/or
create a vivid picture for the reader?