PAPER

FAMILY COUNSELING

Counseling Premarital "Pre-Marriage Counseling"

Lecturer :

Prof. Dr. Neviyarni S, M.S., Kons

Triave Nuzila Zahri, M.Pd., Kons

Arranged By :

Group 4

Della Rahmadini Yusmen (18006011)

Fitri Mandasari (18006069)

Lara Amanda Dwidjo (18006081)

Lira MulyaHidayat (18006189)

DEPARTMENT OF GUIDANCE AND COUNSELING

FACULTY OF EDUCATION

UNIVERSITAS NEGERI PADANG

2020

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 PREFACE

The writer wants to thank to Almighty God bless and because of His grace, we can

finish this paper. This paper with the title is "Pra Marriage Counseling ", The writer wrote it

to fulfill thefamily counseling assignment.

The writer Also delivers his gratitude to Ma'am Neviyarni and Miss TriaveNuzilaZahri,

For Reviews their guidance to complete it. The writer realizes that this paper is far from

perfect in the arrangement or in the content of the paper. The writer hopes that the

suggestions from the reader can be a support to the make her better in the next paper project.

Finally, the writer expects that it can be a medium for the reader to deepen the

knowledge about the Family Counseling.

Padang, 6 April 2020

Writer

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 Table of Content

Cover......................................................................................................................................0

Preface ...................................................................................................................................1

Table of Content.....................................................................................................................2

Chapter I ................................................................................................................................3

A. Background................................................................................................................3
B. Problem Formulation.................................................................................................3
C. Purpose.......................................................................................................................3

Chapter II...............................................................................................................................4

A. Definition of Premarital counseling...........................................................................4

B. Several Issues Relating to Premarital Counseling.....................................................5
C. Premarital Counseling Practice..................................................................................6
Chapter III..............................................................................................................................8
A. Conclusion.................................................................................................................8
B. Suggestions................................................................................................................8

References..............................................................................................................................9

Yel-Yel ..................................................................................................................................10

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 CHAPTER I
PRELIMINARY

A. Background

What makes a happy marriage is not our level of compatibility with a partner, but
how much our ability and willingness to overcome incompatibility. Love might look
ideal, but it really is marriage that is truly actual. The ambiguity between the ideal (what
it should be) and the actual (what it is) is indeed endless. Statistics show the need to find
tips for a successful marriage.

Therefore, pre-marital counseling is needed to minimize the occurrence of

problems in marriage so that the marriage becomes more harmonious.

B. Problem Formulation

1. What is premarital counseling?

2. What are the problems associated with premarital counseling?

3. What is the practice of premarital counseling?

C. Purpose

1. Describe the meaning of premarital counseling

2. Understand several issues related to premarital counseling

3. Able to practice premarital counseling

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 CHAPTER II
DISCUSSION

COUNSELING PREMARITAL "PRE-MARRIAGE COUNSELING"

A. Definition of Premarital Counseling (Pre Marriage Counseling)

According to Grace Hakim (in Mubasyaroh, 2016: 6-8) there are some aspects
of marriage, namely:
1. Personal aspects.
a. Distribution of Biological needs. Humans basically live in pairs due to the
attraction, lust between two different sexes living together and the pair is not
always linked to reproductive problems although this factor is the dominant
factor. Human needs in the form of lust has become human nature and other
living creatures. Therefore, it needs to be channeled in the right proportions
and legitimate in accordance with the degree of humanity.
b. Generation reproduction. Among other aspects that exist in marriage is a
reproduction of generations. Marriage is part of shari'ah destination dar
Religion is the breeding, by nmemelihara mind, soul and wealth.
2. Social aspects
Good Housekeeping is the foundation of a good society. Marriage is likened to
a very strong bond, like a fish to water. At first the wedding Individuals do not
know each other and sometimes they get a pair that far from each other. However,
when entering the world of marriage, they are so united in harmony, united in
facing challenges in life is affecting ark.
3. aspects of Ritual
Marriage is a worship, and means the implementation of Islamic Shari'ah
commands, are a reflection of human obedience to the Creator. An integral part of
all religious teachings.
4. Moral aspects
Morally, peruatan composed of two types, namely morality moralits good and
bad. Marriage made by humans by following the Shari'ah of Allah is a marriage
that provides an important indicator to distinguish humans with animals.

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 Therefore, marriage is really meant to form a human noble morality and liberate
humans from animal morality.
5. Cultural aspects
In the perspective of culture, marriage can be seen as part of the process of
human interaction in the formation of the smallest communities. The family is the
embryo of society which will build a larger social world. Families who have a
good cultural foundation will build a good social cultural world as well, so that the
lowest size of masyarakaat good culture is the family itself.
Thus, in achieving the aspects positive in the family itself, Counseling
Premarital very important role in it, where before Individuals do weddings, up first
given service Counseling Premarital that individuals understand the aspects of
married life harmonious future and can be useful in social life.
Nurihsan (in Mubasyaroh, 2016: 12) argues that the guidance wedding,
including the guidance of the family who are efforts to provide assistance to
individuals as leaders or family members so that they are able to create a family intact
and harmonious, empower themselves in a productive, can create and adjust to family
norms, as well as the role or actively participate in achieving a happy family life.
Therefore, premarital counseling is very important for couples who are getting
married or couples who will take a new life with a householder that will be able to
develop themselves or conform and can create a harmonious family and the whole
center of a community.

B. Several Issues Relating to Premarital Counseling

1. Love and Commitment
According Santrock (in Satih Saidiyah and Very Julianto, 2016: 125) marriage
is the entry of individuals into five stages of the life cycle of the family, namely
with preparations to leave the house as an independent individual and responsible
emotionally and financially.
To get to it, of course, individuals must have a commitment to live a married
life first. Many problems occur with respect to the love and commitment, where
individuals do not adhere to the commitments already given at the beginning enter
marriage and have an impact on domestic life in the next times.
Satih Saidiyah and Very Jullianto (2016: 125) argues that a harmonious
marriage is the desire of every couple. Married life is early doors partner to adapt

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 and understand each other. Differences in background, age, educational level
becomes meaningless if the reception on the influx of family life cycle is received
and understood.
Thus, when the initial commitment of marriage is very important, but it is
undeniable that the conflict in family life caused by mrlsnggsr commitment to
each individual. Then it must be prevented through premarital counseling.
2. Sex problems
This problem often occurs in family life, where one of the individuals assume
that the other can not serve them both physically and spiritual. Most couples will
take the marriage would feel anxious or awkward with regard to sexual problems
in husband and wife, where the problem is often the case.
According to Umi Khusnul Khatimah (2013: 236) on the psychological
dimension, sexuality is closely related to psychological factors, namely emotions,
views and personalities who collaborate with social factors. The social dimension
towards how sexuality appears in human relations, how the environment affects
the formation of views on sexuality and ultimately one's sexual behavior.
So, this issue was also discussed when the individual will face a domestic life,
which will make the problem of conflict in the household.
3. Personal conflicts
According to Coser (in Eva Maizara Puspita Dewi and Basti, 2008: 43) The
conflict is always there in the common life, even in a perfect relationship even if
conflict is inevitable and conflict is increasing in a serious relationship.
Discord, disagreement and conflict within a household is something
sometimes can not be avoided, but it must be faced. This is because in a marriage
there is a unique union of two persons to carry their belief system based on
cultural background and different experiences. The differences, however, need to
be adjusted to one another to form a belief system for a family.
Therefore, through premarital counseling, these problems prevented and make
each individual will benefit memahaami and would be expected to reduce conflict
in the family.

C. Premarital Counseling Practice

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 According Yuliatun (2016: 37) marriage counseling aimed at helping couples
to resolve the problem, it also helps couples to maintain the commitment of religious
consciousness in the development of problem solving relevance married life.
According to Huff and Miller (in Yuliatun, 2016: 43) the purpose of marriage
counseling includes several things, namely:
1. Raise awareness of himself and can salling empathize with the couple.
2. Raising awareness about the power and potential of each.
3. Enhance mutual opening up.
4. Improve the relationship more intimate.
5. Develop communication skills, problem solving, and managing conflict.
Mubasyaroh (2016: 13) argues that marriage is the initial formation of the
family, because in it there will be a father, mother and child, so that the process that
began with its formation married couples need to do in order to marriage counseling
to be carried out will be able to obtain happiness.
One approach used in premarital counseling is a humanistic approach. Belkin
(in Mubasyaroh, 2016: 16) points out that on the other side of the humanistic
approach include the family, where it discusses how the structure and communication
within the family that will take place later, so that a family will run properly by
executing their respective roles.
According to Gerald Corey (in Mubasyaroh, 2016: 15-16) there are several
goals of Existential Humanistic Counseling, namely:
1. Clients order mengaalami existence is authentic by becoming aware of the
existence and potential and realized that he could open up and act based on their
ability.
2. Fully aware of the current situation.
3. Choosing how to live in the present.
4. Shoulder the responsibility to choose.

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 CHAPTER III

CLOSING

A. Conclusion

Premarital counseling is considered important because many people feel wrong

in making their choices, or experience many difficulties in adjusting to family life.
Many people are in a hurry to make a decision without considering many aspects
related to married life. This family counseling is held with the intention of helping
prospective partners make careful planning by conducting an assessment of themselves
associated with marriage and married life responses.

B. Suggestions

The author is certainly still aware that if the paper above there are still many
errors and far from perfection. The author will refine the paper based on many sources
and constructive criticism from readers.

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 BIBLIOGRAPHY

Eva Meizara Puspita Dewi dan Basti. 2008. ”Konflik Perkawinan dan Model
Penyelesaian Konflik Pada Pasangan Suami Istri”.Jurnal Psikologi Vol 2 No 1.
(online). (http://ejournal.gunadarma.ac.id/index.php/%psiko/article/view%20File
%20/243/184,diakses tanggal 4 April 2020).
Mubasyaroh.2016.”Konseling Pranikah Dalam mewujudkan Keluarga Bahagia”. Jurnal
Bimbingan Konseling Islam Vol 7 No 2. (online).
(http://journal.stainkudus.ac.id/index.php/konseling/article/download/Mubasyaro
h/pdf,diakses tanggal 4 April 2020).
Siti Saidiyah dan Very Julianto. 2016. ”Problem Pernikahan dan Straategi
Penyelesaiannya: Studi Kasus Pada Pasangan Suami Istri dengan Usia
Perkawinan di Bawah Sepuluh Tahun”. Jurnal Psikologi UNDIP Vol 15 No 2.
(online).
(https://ejournal.undip.ac.id/index.php/psikologi/article/view/13482,diakses
tanggal 4 April 2020).
Umi Khusnul Khatimah. 2013. ”Hubungan Seksual Suami-Istri Dalam Perspektif
Gender dan Hukum Islam”. Jurnal Ahkam Vol 13 No 2. (online).
(https://journal.uinjkt.ac.id/index.php/ahkam/aarticle/view/936, diakses tanggal 5
April 2020).
Yuliyatun. 2016. ”Praktik Konseling Pernikahan Islam Dalam PendampinganTokoh
Agama Menangani Permaslahan Suami Istri”. Jurnal Bimbingan Konseling Islam
Vol 7 No 2. (online).
(http://journal.stainkkudus.ac.id/index.php/konseling/article/view/Yuliatun,
diakses tanggal 4 April 2020).

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 Yel-yel

Premarital Counseling

There are 5 aspects

Personal, Social, Ritual, Moral and cultural aspects

There are several problems

Regarding premarital counseling

Love and commitment

Sexual problems and personal conflicts

That is premarital counseling

Hopefully we understand

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