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Lesson Six
I. GENERAL CONSIDERATIONS
1. VARIOUS ASPECTS OF THE FAMILY The family is the first cell, the basic
unit of all society. It is, so to speak, a society in itself. Hence, it may be
considered under several aspects, all interesting, all important. There could
be, for example, (1) the religious aspect: that is, the family considered as a
religious society, a group that prays, worships, thanks, atones, asks as a
group rather than as the individuals who compose this group; (2) the
educational aspect: wherein the family is considered as the first place where
the child learns. (The school is, after all, but a continuation of this aspect of
the family. It is obvious, therefore, that the school training of the Catholic
child should be a continuation of the Catholic training and environment of
the home. Hence, the very logical insistence of the Church that Catholic
parents send their children to Catholic schools in order that their home
training be continued in the proper atmosphere.) (3) the social aspect: that
is, the relationship of one family to another, the relationship of the families
among themselves, and their relationship to society as a whole: the
community, the nation, the world at large; (4) the cultural aspect which
considers the family as a powerful means of training the entire man. It aims
at the complete all around development of his many capabilities: initiative,
community living, devotedness, self-sacrifice, tact, appreciation of the true
value of all things; (5) the economic aspect: that is, the family considered as
an enterprise, a society where supernatural interests and temporal, financial,
and other interests are at stake. It is with this latter, the economic aspect of
the family, that this lesson deals.
2. THE ROLE OF MONEY Money, with all that money can buy, forms an
important contribution to the life of the individual and of the family. but only
if it is kept in its proper relation to other things. Money can be used or
abused, according to the attitude we adopt towards it. Viewed properly, in a
Christian way, it can help to win happiness. Used according to a false
perspective, it can lead to endless bickering and quarrelling, discontent and
misery, and the too frequent breakdown of family life.
God created us “to know Him, to love Him, and to serve Him in this life, and
to be happy with Him forever in the next.” In our attitude towards money, we
must never lose sight of this fact. God Himself and a share in His happiness
Remember this well: anyone is glad to help a man in need if that man is
courageous and a good worker but no one is ever in a hurry to help the lazy,
careless, indolent person. True success is to be won only by hard,
persevering effort in our work. Fortunes do not usually fall ready-made from
heaven. If they sometimes do, they seldom last, but soon melt away. “From
shirt-sleeves to shirtsleeves: three generations” is a well-founded saying!
Courage, perseverance, effort, are essentials for your happiness.
The second quality of heart flows from the first, and cannot exist without it. It
is a sense of economy. Fortunes are made by gathering cents. And yet, it’s
only a trifle, a cent, so easy to spend, to throw away: mere trifles spent for
trifling things, amusements of all sorts ... money that could assure a good
start in life at the time of marriage. Such is the story of many young men and
women! Not that they spend millions at one time, but rather small amounts
that, over an extended period, accumulate into considerable sums.
Cigarettes, liquor, beer, gambling, these are but some of the seeming trifles,
all useless and costly, that help to empty one’s wallet.
Since the family is, from an economic point of view, a business, it must be
established and controlled like all other businesses. Consequently, there will
be revenues and expenditures to be considered.
a) Revenues: Revenues in money include the salary of the father, rent from
properties belonging to the family, together with revenues in kind (in
services). These revenues in service consist of all the work done by the
members of the family (particularly the mother) around the home: cooking,
cleaning, sewing, washing, etc. Usually we forget to appraise these services
in terms of money. Nevertheless, they should be included in the total income
of the home because, if the family-members themselves do not perform
these tasks, it becomes necessary to hire and pay other people to do them:
servants, chauffeur, chore man, laundryman, etc. In order to determine the
value of these services rendered to the family by the members of the family,
figure out what it would cost to have other people do them for you. The
discoveries you make will help all the members of the family to realize the
share each contributes to the total income of the home.
To these revenues in money and in services we must add what may be called
revenues in social services. These consist of: (1) all those municipal,
provincial, federal services put freely or semi-freely at the disposal of the
public; (2) the other services given the home by welfare organizations, co-
operatives, schools, dispensaries, hospitals, etc. All these services are as so
much revenue for the family that knows about them and is willing to make
use of them. Although it is difficult to appraise these social services in terms
of money, they nevertheless have a real value and it is important to consider
them seriously, more especially when one is establishing a home or moving
to another locality. Will these same services be found in the new locality?
1. IN THEORY:
a) agreement of ideas: The most important point in your economic
preparation is to come to some agreement concerning economic preparation.
The engaged couple, coming from different families, sometimes from
different surroundings, will not necessarily consider in the same way the
financial problems involved in home-making. At all costs, they must know
each other’s outlook on financial matters in order to maintain harmony later.
Many couples during courtship lose to the theatre or to other entertainments,
evenings that could be used in a more constructive way: exchanging ideas
and opinions, acquiring a deeper knowledge of their future life-time partner.
During the time of engagement, when love is still new, agreement and
harmony are greatly facilitated so that such discussions can be carried on
pleasantly and profitably. Even before marriage, the young couple should
study their particular problems together in order to find harmonious
solutions.
To avoid clashes later on, why not settle now the question of the financial
responsibilities of the household? Naturally, since it is impossible to foresee
everything, necessary adjustments in questions of detail will have to be
made from time to time but, in the process of doing so, you will at least have
established some working arrangement. (See also: Management of the
home).
Moreover, the young wife, if she is to put her husband’s earnings to the most
advantageous use, must strive to merit the title of “good housewife!” Many
couples experience great difficulty in making ends meet simply because of
the wife’s domestic incompetence. The modern young wife, able to get so
many commodities so cheaply, must nevertheless know how to take care of
a house, decorate it, beautify it, make it a bright, pleasant home where her
husband can enjoy his leisure hours. Through her skill in sewing, knitting,
mending, she will be able to effect even more considerable savings as the
family increases. Certainly, she should know the rules of nutrition in order to
give each member of the family the food appropriate to each one’s age and
way of living. A balanced diet often costs less. It tends to lower the doctor’s
bill, at the same time as it contributes to a general betterment of health.
Under present day conditions when so many girls live away from home,
occupying rooms or flats where it is forbidden to cook, a very real problem
arises. Their domestic education is perforce restricted by such circumstances
but some attempt should be made to solve the problem through attendance
at specialized schools, etc., where they may learn something about the
domestic arts. Ease and perfection here come only with guidance and
practice so that, wherever possible, the future bride should not wait until
after marriage to perfect her skill. Learn too to make things yourself: it will
add to your own future happiness and to that of your family if you do so.
Let your beginning be modest! Less costly furniture - paid in cash; no car, no
debts. (One expert on marriage problems strongly urges young couples to do
without an automobile unless their income is over $20 per week. Upkeep and
depreciation run close to a dollar a day. Multiply this by 365 days and you
have a sizeable amount that could be saved or spent to greater advantage
else where.)
To buy wisely, one must know merchandise and its value. Shopping together
to buy important items in order to get acquainted with the quality of items as
well as with current prices is time well spent. It is, even more, an excellent
opportunity to learn more about each other’s tastes.
Above all, if the husband is dependent upon a modest salary, we urge again
that he should take out some good life insurance. Life insurance is an
investment that can be depended upon, an investment which can be offered
as security in case it becomes necessary to obtain a loan. Upon the death of
the husband, it very often constitutes the only legacy that he has been able
to provide for his wife and family.
b) For the woman: The bride-to-be should provide a trousseau that will last
about two years, and enough house-hold linens for the same length of time.
The following is a suggested list. It can be increased or decreased according
Personal trousseau: Underwear for two years; house dresses and aprons for
two years, a few good dresses, coats, etc. (not too many because of
frequently changing styles).
It is at this precise point that a note of warning must be sounded for the
bride-to-be. At this time, your sense of values must not become warped.
Economic preparation for marriage is an important matter ... but it is far from
being the most important. If the hurry, rush and anxiety of buying a
trousseau detracts from your spiritual preparation for this great Sacrament,
your wedding day will find you materially wealthier, but lacking the joy, the
peace, and soul-stirring happiness that this day should bring. The important
thing in marriage is the reception of the Sacrament of Matrimony: it is not
the buying of the trousseau. If there were no marriage, to what purpose
would be the economic preparation? The economic preparation depends
upon a marriage being planned. The Sacrament is therefore the important
element. Place the emphasis where it properly belongs ... on the spiritual
preparation. Ask the Blessed Virgin, your model, to help prepare you, and
imitate her in your own life.
A further brief word: Your young man fell in love with you for yourself ... not
for the material things you could buy. Consequently, to retain and increase
his love, it is only plain common sense to work at developing those Mary-like
qualities that first won his love. Above all else, keep your spiritual
preparation foremost, and let it be your guide in your economic preparation.
The other method consists in saving to buy the trousseau. This method,
however, presents a danger for many young women. A passing whim or a
pressing need of the moment may lead her to spend her hard earned
savings, leaving little or nothing finally for the purchase of her trousseau. As
a result, the days immediately preceding her wedding find her so engrossed
with financial worries and feverish activities that the day of her marriage
finds her nerves on edge and her all important spiritual preparation
completely neglected.
However, taking into consideration her income, her habits of economy and
her strength of character, it is up to each individual bride to determine which
method will be the more advantageous in her own particular case.
The economic organization of family life consists of three things: (1) the
knowledge of the revenues and services of the home; (2) the distribution of
the revenues and services; (3) the use of the revenues and services.
b) Services or revenues in services: Under this heading are to be listed all the
services put at the disposal of the family by the members themselves. As
previously stated, these services in work represent a real value in money for,
if the members of the family do not do them, it becomes necessary to pay
outsiders to do the work. The more the revenues of the family increase, the
easier it will be for the family to hire strangers to do these other jobs for
them. It is true that the cost of living will thus increase for them but, on the
other hand, the father, the mother, the children, will have more free hours to
How many forget that! The result: debts accumulate, financial crashes and
family break-ups follow, frauds, costly trials, seizures - and the eventual ruin
of everything, and very often a shameful and miserable life - The reason: one
has spent more than he could afford. This principle must be emphasized: we
must live according to our income. To do this, requires courage. We do see
people no better off than ourselves living a life of luxury, spending freely,
driving beautiful cars (frequently not yet fully paid for), who “enjoy life” while
their creditors, grocers, bakers, and other merchants shout at them to be
paid ... but there comes a time when no one trusts them and their family life
becomes one of selfish squabbles.
There is one great method to adopt in order to live according to one’s means.
It is the establishing of a family budget.
Before marriage, the future partners must each keep an individual, personal
budget. Then, when the time comes to make estimates for their combined
budget, it will not be something altogether new and strange. Rather, they
will be grateful for having taken these preliminary steps that now furnish
them with definite, specific information on which to base their combined
budget.
b) In particular - the family budget: We are going to state here (a) what the
family budget is; and (b) the items which comprise it.
(1) Nature and advantages: The family budget can be defined as: “All the
expenditures to be made for the upkeep of the family, and the revenue to
1. Yearly Plan: The family budget is annual in that the revenues and the
expenditures cover one year only.
2. Unity: The family budget is not only annual; it is also one. It is a whole
picture in which are to be found under a single figure all the revenues and all
the expenses.
The family budget is, then, an act of foresight covering the expenses and
revenues of the coming year. It is an act of foresight based on the expenses
and revenues of the year just gone by. A budget is therefore concerned with
the future. It is a reasonable plan which, once it has been wisely established,
must be stuck to throughout the year. It is a plan than can be modified from
year to year, according to the changing expenses and revenues of the family.
The greatest advantage of the budget lies in the fact that one is able to
follow very closely the economic situation of the family, to eliminate useless
expenditures (for instance, the purchase of things which can be done
without, but which are nevertheless tempting), to avoid debt, to encourage
economy, and to work in order to make the budget balance and make ends
meet. Thus considered, the establishment of a budget will provide the father,
the mother (and the children in as much as they can take part in it) with a
powerful incentive to work and self-discipline. It will be, as well, a source of
peace and happiness for the home.
A further word about your flexible expenditures: try to fit as many of these as
possible into your fixed expenditure list. For example, every month set aside
1/12th of the total fuel bill for the year so that the annual fuel cost is
distributed evenly over the entire year. Concerning furniture, after the initial
heavy expense involved in establishing a new home, set apart a monthly
figure to cover the annual depreciation so that when new furnishings are
required, the money will be there to purchase them. As far as possible,
therefore, spread your various flexible costs over a twelve month period and
list them, then, under your fixed expenditures.
Whatever percentages of your revenue you allot to the various listings in
your budget, you must keep in mind that changes in your income, or
increasing or decreasing costs will require you to check and perhaps revise
these percentages periodically. In the same vein, if your salary is small, then
a bigger percentage of your income should be allotted for food. The money
allowed for food cannot be indefinitely restricted even if one must be content
with bare essentials in other items.
If your income is not in the form of a regular salary, it will be necessary to
plan your budget accordingly. For instance, if you are a farmer, you will have
to figure out your profits by taking into account not only what you sell but
also what you derive from the farm itself (fuel, food), items that you would
otherwise have to buy. It is true that you may have less revenue in money
than city people but, on the other hand, your food bill will likely be
considerably less.
Economy is learned not only during youth at school or at home, but later on
as well. We learn it through reflection, discussion, study-clubs, reading,
observation. It is a precious virtue for the home and a promise of success. It
can be said that big fortunes have had their start in economy. The care of
one’s possessions is also linked with economy. How many things (clothes,
tools, furniture) would last a long time if only they were taken care of ! In
your future home, make a point of this! Learn how to preserve the things that
you use. Later on, your children will learn carefulness and economy through
your example.
The great means to save is to allow so much to be put aside ... or to save on
items of the budget. Each week, each month, that amount put aside will
accumulate and thus come in handy when its use is warranted. In order to
save, effective means should be taken not to spend surpluses. To that effect,
consult a bank or credit union manager. They will explain thoroughly what
system is best suited to your particular case.
(1) The system in which the husband alone or the wife alone makes all
decisions;
(2) The system in which the husband alone makes the decisions in certain
matters (for instance, rent); the wife alone in other matters (for
instance, food); the husband and wife together in some other matters
(for example, the education of the children);
(3)System No. 2 with this modification that, in the special fields in which
the husband alone or the wife alone makes the decisions, each one is
animated with the desire of safe-guarding the common interest of
both;
(4) The system by which all decisions are taken by the husband and wife
together;
(5) The system by which even the children as they grow up are called
upon to take part in the direction and responsibilities of the family
enterprise, but subject to the final decision of the parents.
In advising the husband and wife to work together as a team for the common
interest of the home, the system which we have just recommended (No. 3 +
No. 5) leaves each one free, in his or her own sphere, to determine the way
to best distribute the money for the welfare of the family. Since the wife must
be free in fields which are more familiar to her (for instance, food, clothes,
upkeep of the home), it follows that she must have the means of enjoying
this freedom. This means is the money that her husband will give to her, not
cent by cent for each little expenditure, but enough for each month, each
fortnight, or each week.
Thus, the wife should not be enslaved to her husband; she should not have
to ask at every turn and as a favor for the money that is, after all, for the
welfare of the home. Otherwise, she will very often go short rather than
endure the embarrassment of having to ask all the time. If she receives
periodically the amount of money necessary for the upkeep of the family,
she will be free to act, and thus will become what she is entitled to be:
“Queen of the Home.” Consequently, the husband should not be too exacting
nor too much concerned with details. Let him approve of a general plan, of a
standard of living which the income allows them to establish for the family,
and then let him abide by it. The wife, on the other hand, will consult her
husband when, even in the field in which she is more specialized, an
important decision has to be made.
This matter of allotting money for the upkeep of the family should be settled
by the young man and young woman before marriage. This is very
important.
In the particular divisions allotted by the family budget, each must answer
for oneself. However, you must plan together and make the balance sheet
together. You must be frank about expenses, especially when these differ
noticeably from what was planned.
As a rough example of what the divisions could be, the husband should look
after rent, repairs, taxes, fuel, electricity, water, phone, expenses for the
doctor and dentist. The wife, on her part, would attend to food, household
In their practice of economy, however, they must be careful not to base their
self-discipline upon standards of stinginess, miserliness, or avarice. (See the
role o f money, P. 127). Common sense and broad-mindedness should be
their constant guide in the matter of economy.
The danger of being stingy towards oneself is not very grave. It is when it
comes to administering the budget of a family that there may be possibilities
of degenerating into stinginess. It is well worth while to cultivate the habit of
being ever attentive to the needs and desires of others and of striving to
provide for these needs to the best of our ability.
The young woman who trains herself before marriage to the earnest practice
of economy will be able after marriage to wisely administer her family’s
financial affairs. A joy to her husband, satisfied with what he can reasonably
Some years ago, jokes about the young suitor who offered his love mansions,
with clothes and servants to match, were quite the vogue. We aren’t quite
sure (It was before our day) but it seems he was ready to toss in a few
planets as well to go with her “limpid pools of loveliness” (eyes). Of course,
the fact that he couldn’t make the first payment on a stamp was quite beside
the point!
This is an extreme example but there are equivalents today. Some young
men will promise anything, but of what use are such promises when these
young men possess neither the beginnings of a bank account nor the proper
attitude towards economy as some guarantee of future stability. The Modem
Miss is not likely to be deceived by such young men - and yet, who knows
but that some may allow themselves to be swayed by fancy illusions and glib
tongues! Sad indeed it is to waken too late to reality!
A young woman has a right to know her future husband’s exact financial
position. It is not vain curiosity for her to enquire about this. In fact, if the
young man were to refuse to answer such questions, she could very
reasonably have serious misgivings as to the future.
VI. CONCLUSION
To sum up: The economic preparation for marriage must be considered under
three main headings: the theoretical side (the necessary knowledge); the
practical side (what to do in practice); and the moral side (the good habits to
acquire).
We don’t doubt that right now you are interested in the economic
preparation of marriage and the family, for it is very important for the future
happiness of the home. The subjects treated in this lesson’ should be food
for conversation during company keeping. Talk it over at length with your
This preparation, as the word implies, is but the first step. The young couple
must continue after marriage all that they have striven to establish during
the period of engagement.
When the home is free from misery and financial worries, it is easier to plan a
better education for the children, to give them a solid foundation in keeping
with their natural talents. In this way the couple will really fulfill their duty,
giving to the Church and to their native land fervent Christians and loyal
citizens!