Never Fly Solo: Lead with Courage, Build Trusting Partnerships, and Reach New Heights in Business

ADVANCE PRAISE FOR NEVER FLY SOLO

"Never Fly Solo not only is a great reminder that we all need the help and support of others in our pursuit of success but also acts as a guidebook for how we can make it happen."

— Larry Winget, television personality and New York Times bestselling author of It’s Called Work for a Reason

"Never Fly Solo is exactly what business leaders need today to build trust both internally and with their customers. A compelling read, it’s a timely reminder of the core values that make for an effective organization: integrity, accountability, and a commitment to service."

— Jeff Duckworth, Executive VP and Head of Sales, John Hancock Funds

"Never Fly Solo is a must-read for anyone seeking personal and team excellence. This accomplished aviator and seasoned entrepreneur shares insights that you can put to work immediately for higher performance. This book will not only reinforce your team spirit but also inspire new levels of courage when dealing with adversity. Don’t miss this one!"

— Don Hutson, coauthor of the New York Times #1 bestseller The One Minute Entrepreneur

Great advice for anyone who wants to communicate and connect on a deeper level—particularly leaders tempted to view themselves as ‘self-made success stories.’ Highly recommended to build a team culture.

— Dianna Booher, author of The Voice of Authority: 10 Communication Strategies Every Leader Needs to Know

"If you want to be a leader and make an impact on the world, you can’t do it alone. You need your wingmen, your team. The only way to be a leader that attracts wingmen is to be a person of integrity, passion, and authenticity. Never Fly Solo gives you the tools you need to be that leader."

— Chris Widener, author of The Art of Influence

A must-read that provides a simple yet powerful set of guidelines to help build leadership qualities and character in all facets of life.

— Matthew Walsh, CEO of Walsh Construction

Finally, an aviation-based leadership book that focuses on what really matters in the heat of battle—the trust you have in your wingmen.

— Brigadier General Steve Ritchie, U.S. Air Force Retired, the only Air Force Pilot Ace of the Vietnam War

"When you’re ready to chase a challenge, Never Fly Solo will help you win. This book is packed with powerful insights on building trust and motivation and leading a team."

— Randy Gage, author of Prosperity Mind

In these challenging economic times, Waldo’s book serves as a bold wake-up call to the business world that trust and service are critical to maintaining a competitive advantage in the marketplace.

— Bill Bartmann, billionaire business coach

"Never Fly Solo is authentic and relevant and told from the perspective of a real-world warrior with a heart. It’s a wonderful gift you should share with those you care about."

— Brendon Burchard, author of Life’s Golden Ticket

Waldo effectively captures the critical leadership attributes necessary to succeed when adversity and change strike. In this tough economy, I can’t think of a more relevant business book.

— Jeffrey Fox, bestselling author of Rain: What a Paperboy Learned About Business and How to Become CEO

NEVER FLY SOLO

NEVER FLY SOLO

Lead with Courage, Build Trusting Partnerships, and Reach New Heights in Business

Lt. Col. Rob Waldo Waldman

Copyright © 2010 by Rob Waldman. All rights reserved. Except as permitted under the United States Copyright Act of 1976, no part of this publication may be reproduced or distributed in any form or by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval system, without the prior written permission of the publisher.

ISBN: 978-0-07-171352-8

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To my twin brother, Dave . . . my ultimate wingman

CONTENTS

Acknowledgments

Introduction

1 Push It Up! Attitude Plus Action Determines Altitude

2 Chair Flying The More You Sweat in Peace, the Less You Bleed in Battle

3 Check Six Wingmen: They Have Your Back, and You Have Theirs

4 Over-G Integrity First: A Wingman’s #1 Core Value

5 Lift Versus Drag Find What Gives You Lift, and Jettison the Rest

6 Break Right! Give Mission-Critical Feedback When the Missiles Are Launched

7 Lose Sight, Lose Fight Wingmen Keep You Focused and on Course

8 Situational Awareness Effective Communication Builds Trust

9 Abort! Abort! The Courage to Quit

10 Walk the Flight Line Connecting with Your Wingmen

11 New Day, New Jet Fail with Honor, and Bounce Back from Adversity

12 Service Before Self Lend a Wing to Help Others Fly

13 Release Brakes! Conquer the Fear Barrier That Holds You Back

Wingman Glossary of Terms

Index

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

WRITING THIS BOOK has undoubtedly been one of the toughest missions of my life. It has also been one of the most rewarding. If not for my wingmen who encouraged me to push it up and take action, this book would never have seen print. This book is a testament to the power of having wingmen in your life.

First, I have to thank my amazingly supportive family, who have been with me every step of the way. They have been the wind beneath my wings. Special thanks go to my twin brother, Dave, to whom this book is dedicated. How lucky I’ve been to have you on my wing always! Who could ask for a greater blessing? Whether you realized it or not, you’ve lifted me in too many ways to list here, giving me the thrust to take off on my most challenging missions. I love you very much.

To my parents, Leonard and Sylvia: thank you for being the best wing mom and wing dad a guy could ask for. Your unconditional love, support, and inspiration mean more to me than words on paper can express. To Leslie and Steven: thank you for being such great role models for me. I hope I can one day be a parent like you. I love you all.

For their wisdom and support in developing this book, I would like to extend my sincerest gratitude to:

• My wingmen at the National Speakers Association, who have been checking my six since I started speaking professionally. Thank you for being part of my extended family. Ken Futch and Gene Griessman, you have been great friends and mentors. Thank you for inspiring me to push it up.

• My coaches, informal mentors, and unsung heroes: Jim Cathcart, Max Dixon, Lou Heckler, Jeffrey Gitomer, Bill Treasurer, David Greenberg, Rick Stark, Lee Coe, Archie Deese, Dick Biggs, Alex Mandossian, Jim Eberle, Max Howard, Jim Feldman, Terry Brock, Chris Hoskin, Steven Roddy, Laura Grierson, Marty Grunder, Sam Silverstein, Mike Tasner, Rick Searfoss, and countless others who worked behind the scenes to help me fly.

• My mastermind group: Dan Thurmon, Tim Gard, and Mike Rayburn. You guys have been awesome, and I appreciate all your advice and encouragement. Thanks for checking my six.

• Dan Seidman. There is no other person who helped me more with this book. You are everything a wingman stands for. Thank you for your commitment, patience, and insights.

• Chris Widener, family man, leader, and friend. Thanks for the lifts and the laughs.

• Mark Sanborn. You practice what you preach. Thank you for being a wing giver.

• Dianna Booher. Thank you for your professional book coaching and for going above and beyond with your advice and feedback.

• Kathy Fletcher. I couldn’t ask for a better right-hand wingman to keep me focused and on target. I appreciate beyond words your attention to detail and commitment. You have been a blessing to me, both personally and professionally.

• Jeffrey Flash Gordon. I’m so grateful that you showed up in my formation. I look forward to exploring new targets with you.

• My wonderfully talented graphic designer, Lisa Reynolds. You showed up out of the blue and gave unconditionally from day one. I appreciate your creative insights and, most of all, your character. You are a true professional.

• My editing and creative wingmen at McGraw-Hill, who believed in me and the wingman philosophy from the start: Knox Huston, for all your vector corrections and encouragement; Mary Glenn, for being a peerless flight lead; and Gaya Vinay, Ann Pryor, Susan Moore, and all the other staff who were wingmen on this book. Thank you for your passion about this project.

• Kevin Small. Your expert advice and guidance helped make this book a reality. Thank you.

• My business attorney, Frank Benjamin. When the turbulence came, you guided me to clearer skies. Thanks for your friendship and amazing skill.

• My talented publicist, Mark Fortier, for your expertise and generous advice.

• Phil Parker, photographer extraordinaire and all-around stellar human being. Thanks for helping put a face on the cover of this book.

• My IT wingman, Randy Pelkey. Thanks for keeping me airborne when the computer missiles were flying.

• My top gun editor, Michael Carr, for coming through last minute and doing some amazing editing on the final manuscript. The missiles were coming, and you helped me dodge them!

• My clients, who bless me with the opportunity to share my wingman message of courage and mutual support to their teams.

• My best friends in the world, Al Wansky and Mark Wiltchik. You helped shape who I am today. The major victories in my life were due, in large part, to you. When I call out Mayday! you are always there. I am so blessed to have you in my life.

• Dana Wilson. Thank you for your easy silence and your angel wings.

• My wingmen from the 79th Fighter Squadron Tigers at Shaw Air Force Base, South Carolina, and the 35th Fighter Squadron Pantons at Kunsan Air Base, South Korea. What a privilege it was to serve with you all. The memories will be with me forever.

• My classmates and faculty from the U.S. Air Force Academy, past, present, and future. There is no finer institution training our country’s leaders. I am honored to be a graduate and an admissions liaison officer for this amazing school.

• My flight lead: God.

And, finally, to the veterans around the world who are warriors for peace and freedom. You lent your country your wings, and some of you even sacrificed them. We cannot and will not forget you. You are real-world wingmen who live the principles of courage, commitment, and service. God bless you and your families.

INTRODUCTION

THE JOURNEY TOWARD earning my wings in life began long before I earned my Air Force wings. The youngest of four children, I was raised on Long Island, New York, in a very competitive middle-class family of overachievers, led by the first general I ever served with: my overprotective mother. Sylvia (or Silly, as we lovingly called her) had my conservative, workaholic dad, Lenny, as her wingman. They both grew up dirt poor in Brooklyn, with no real opportunity to go to college. My dad served eight years in the Navy before he became an airplane mechanic. My mom stayed home and raised the kids.

Together they taught my sister, two brothers, and me the value of hard work, education, integrity, compassion, and, most of all, family. These were the greatest gifts any parents could give their children. And while I didn’t know it then, they were the first wingmen who had a major impact on my life. My wing mom and wing dad were my first instructor pilots, and I love them dearly.

The other very special wingman in my life is my identical twin brother, Dave. While we are different in many respects and each march to our own drummer, Dave and I give each other something irreplaceable: mutual support. We seldom experienced an obstacle, adversity, or victory alone. With Dave on my wing, I’ve never had to