‫ﺍﻟﺸﺮﻛﺔ ﺍﻟﻌﺮﺑﻴﺔ‬ ‫ﻧﻴﺴﺎﻥ‬

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‫) ﺷﻌﺎﻉ (‬ ‫ﺭﺑﻴﻊ ﺛﺎﻥ )‪ 1432‬ﻫـ(‬

‫ﺍﻟﻘﺎﻫﺮﺓ‬ ‫ﺍﻟﺴﻨـــﺔ ﺍﻷﻭﻟﻰ‬

‫ﺝ‪.‬ﻡ‪.‬ﻉ‬ ‫ﺍﻟـﻌـﺪﺩ ﺍﻟﺮﺍﺑﻊ‬

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‫ﺣﻘﺎ‪ ،‬ﻟﻜﻨﻚ ﻏﻔﻮﺕ ً‬

‫ﻗﻠﻴﻼ!“‬ ‫ﺳﺒﻴﻞ ﺍﻟﻤﺜﺎﻝ‪” :‬ﺃﻧﺖ ﻟﺴﺖ ﻣﺘﻌﺒًﺎ ً‬ ‫‪‬‬
‫ﺃﻭ ”ﻻ ﻳﻤﻜﻦ ﺃﻥ ﻳﻜﻮﻥ ﺷﻌﻮﺭﻙ ﻭﺃﻟﻤﻚ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻫﺬﺍ ﺍﻟﻨﺤﻮ!“‬
‫ﺗﺘﺴﻢ ﺍﻟﻌﻼﻗﺔ ﺑﻴﻦ ﺍﻵﺑﺎء ﻭﺍﻷﺑﻨﺎء ﺑﺎﻟﺨﺼﻮﺻﻴﺔ ﻭﺍﻟﺤﺴﺎﺳﻴﺔ‬
‫ﻋﻨﺪﻣﺎ ﻳﺸﻌﺮ ﺍﻹﻧﺴﺎﻥ ﺑﺎﻟﻀﻴﻖ ﺃﻭ ﺍﻟﻐﻀﺐ‪ ،‬ﻓﺈﻥ ﺁﺧﺮ ﻣﺎ‬ ‫ﺍﻟﺸﺪﻳﺪﺓ‪ .‬ﻓﻤﺎ ﺭﺃﻳﻜﻢ ﺑﻮﺿﻊ ﺩﻟﻴﻞ ﺇﺭﺷﺎﺩﻱ ﻳﺘﻀﻤﻦ ﺗﻄﺒﻴﻘﺎﺕ‬
‫ﻳﺤﺘﺎﺝ ﺇﻟﻴﻪ ﻫﻮ ﺍﻟﻨﺼﺎﺋﺢ‪ ،‬ﺃﻭ ﺍﻟﻔﻠﺴﻔﺔ‪ ،‬ﺃﻭ ﺍﻟﺘﺤﻠﻴﻞ ﺍﻟﻨﻔﺴﻲ‪،‬‬ ‫ﻋﻤﻠﻴﺔ ﺗﺘﻴﺢ ﻟﻠﻮﺍﻟﺪﻳﻦ ﺗﻌﻠﻢ ﺍﻟﻤﻬﺎﺭﺍﺕ ﺍﻟﺘﻲ ﻳﺤﺘﺎﺟﻮﻧﻬﺎ؟‬
‫ﺃﻭ ﻭﺟﻬﺔ ﺍﻟﻨﻈﺮ ﺍﻟﻤﻌﺎﺭﺿﺔ‪ .‬ﻓﻬﺬﺍ ﺍﻟﻨﻮﻉ ﻣﻦ ﺍﻟﺤﺪﻳﺚ ﻳﺰﻳﺪ‬ ‫ﻣﺎ ﺭﺃﻳﻜﻢ ﺑﺪﻟﻴﻞ ﻳﺘﻴﺢ ﻟﻶﺑﺎء ﻭﺍﻷﻣﻬﺎﺕ ﻓﺮﺻﺔ ﺗﻄﺒﻴﻖ ﻣﺎ‬
‫ﺍﻟﻮﺿﻊ ﺳﻮءًﺍ‪ .‬ﺍﻟﺸﻔﻘﺔ ﺗﺠﻌﻠﻚ ﺗﺸﻌﺮ ﺑﺎﻟﺤﺴﺮﺓ ﻭﺍﻷﺳﻰ‪،‬‬ ‫ﻳﺘﻌﻠﻤﻮﻧﻪ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻃﺮﻳﻘﺘﻬﻢ ﺍﻟﺨﺎﺻﺔ‪ ،‬ﺳﻮﺍء ﻣﻊ ﺃﻧﻔﺴﻬﻢ ﺃﻭ ﻣﻊ‬
‫ﻭﺗﻮﺟﻴﻪ ﺍﻷﺳﺌﻠﺔ ﻳﻀﻌﻚ ﻓﻲ ﻣﻮﻗﻒ ﺩﻓﺎﻋﻲ‪ ،‬ﺃﻣﺎ ﺃﻛﺜﺮ ﺍﻷﺷﻴﺎء‬ ‫ﺍﻷﺻﺪﻗﺎء؟ ﻭﻣﺎﺫﺍ ﻋﻦ ﺩﻟﻴﻞ ﺷﺎﻣﻞ ﻟﺤﻮﺍﺭﺍﺕ ﻭﻣﺤﺎﺩﺛﺎﺕ‬
‫ﺇﺛﺎﺭﺓ ﻟﻠﻐﻀﺐ ﻓﻬﻮ ﺍﻻﺳﺘﻬﺎﻧﺔ ﺑﺎﻟﻤﺸﺎﻋﺮ ﻛﺄﻥ ﺗﺴﻤﻊ ﺟﻤﻠﺔ‬ ‫ﻣﻔﻴﺪﺓ ﺗﻤﻜﻦ ﺍﻵﺑﺎء ﻣﻦ ﺍﺳﺘﺨﺪﺍﻡ ﻟﻐﺔ ﺟﺪﻳﺪﺓ ﺗﺤﺴﻦ ﻣﻦ‬
‫”ﻻ ﻳﺴﺘﺤﻖ ﺍﻷﻣﺮ ﺃﻥ ﻳﺮﺍﻭﺩﻙ ﻫﺬﺍ ﺍﻟﺸﻌﻮﺭ!“ ﻣﻦ ﺍﻟﻄﺒﻴﻌﻲ‬ ‫ﺃﺳﻠﻮﺑﻬﻢ ﺍﻟﺸﺨﺼﻲ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻟﺤﻮﺍﺭ ﻣﻊ ﺍﻷﺑﻨﺎء؟ ﻭﻣﺎ ﺩﺍﻡ ﻟﻜﻞ‬
‫ﺃﻥ ﻳﻜﻮﻥ ﺭﺩ ﻓﻌﻠﻚ ﻓﻲ ﻛﻞ ﺍﻟﺤﺎﻻﺕ ﺍﻟﺴﺎﺑﻘﺔ ”ﺍﻧﺲ ﺍﻷﻣﺮ‪...‬‬ ‫ﻓﺮﻉ ﻣﻦ ﻓﺮﻭﻉ ﺍﻟﻌﻠﻢ ﻭﻟﻜﻞ ﻧﺸﺎﻁ ﺇﻧﺴﺎﻧﻲ ﻛﺘﺒﻪ ﻭﻣﺮﺍﺟﻌﻪ‪،‬‬
‫ﻓﻤﺎ ﻓﺎﺋﺪﺓ ﻫﺬﺍ ﺍﻟﺤﻮﺍﺭ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺃﻳﺔ‬ ‫ﻓﻠﻤﺎﺫﺍ ﻻ ﻳﻜﻮﻥ ﻫﻨﺎﻙ ﺩﻟﻴﻞ ﺷﺎﻣﻞ ﺃﻭ‬
‫ﺣﺎﻝ؟“ ﻣﻦ ﻧﺎﺣﻴﺔ ﺃﺧﺮﻯ‪ ،‬ﻓﺈﻥ‬ ‫‪‬‬ ‫ﻣﺮﺟﻊ ﻣﺘﻜﺎﻣﻞ ﻟﺘﻌﻠﻴﻢ ﻓﻦ ﺇﺩﺍﺭﺓ‬
‫ﻣﺠﺮﺩ ﺃﻥ ﺗﺠﺪ ﻣﻦ ﻳﻨﺼﺖ ﻟﻚ‬ ‫ﺍﻟﺤﻮﺍﺭ ﺑﻴﻦ ﺍﻵﺑﺎء ﻭﺍﻷﺑﻨﺎء؟‬
‫ﺑﺎﻫﺘﻤﺎﻡ‪ ،‬ﻭﻳﺘﻔﺎﻋﻞ ﻣﻌﻚ ﻟﻴﻌﺮﻑ‬ ‫ﺗﻘﻠﻴﻞ‬ ‫ﻓﻲ‬ ‫ﺍﻟﺘﺴﺒﺐ‬ ‫ﺩﻭﻥ‬ ‫ﺍﻟﺘﻌﺎﻭﻥ‬ ‫ﻋﻠﻰ‬ ‫ﺃﺑﻨﺎءﻙ‬ ‫ﺗﺸﺠﻊ‬ ‫ﻛﻴﻒ‬ ‫‪W‬‬
‫ﺳﺒﺐ ﺿﻴﻘﻚ ﺍﻟﺤﻘﻴﻘﻲ‪ ،‬ﻳﺘﻴﺢ‬ ‫ﺛﻘﺘﻬﻢ ﺑﺄﻧﻔﺴﻬﻢ‬ ‫‪‬‬
‫ﻟﻚ ﺍﻟﻤﺠﺎﻝ ﻟﺘﻌﺒﺮ ﻋﻤﺎ ﺑﺪﺍﺧﻠﻚ‬ ‫‪ W‬ﻛﻴﻒ ﺗﺤﺮﺭ ﺃﻃﻔﺎﻟﻚ ﻣﻦ ﻟﻌﺐ ﺍﻷﺩﻭﺍﺭ ﺍﻟﺜﺎﺑﺘﺔ‬ ‫‪‬‬
‫ﺑﺼﺪﻕ‪ ،‬ﻓﻴﺘﻀﺎءﻝ ﺣﻨﻘﻚ‪ ،‬ﻭﻳﻘﻞ‬ ‫‪ W‬ﻛﻴﻒ ﺗﺴﺎﻋﺪ ﺍﻷﺑﻨﺎء ﻓﻲ ﺗﻘﺒﻞ ﻣﺸﺎﻋﺮﻫﻢ ﻭﺍﻟﺘﻌﺎﻣﻞ ﻣﻌﻬﺎ‬ ‫‪‬‬
‫ﺍﺭﺗﺒﺎﻛﻚ‪ ،‬ﻭﺗﺼﺒﺢ ﺃﻛﺜﺮ ﺗﺄﻗﻠﻤًﺎ‬ ‫‪ W‬ﻣﺎ ﻫﻲ ﺑﺪﺍﺋﻞ ﺍﻟﻌﻘﺎﺏ‬ ‫‪‬‬
‫ﻭﺗﻔﻬﻤًﺎ ﻟﻤﺸﺎﻋﺮﻙ ﻭﻣﺸﻜﻼﺗﻚ‪.‬‬ ‫‪ W‬ﻛﻴﻒ ﺗﺘﻴﺢ ﻟﻬﻢ ﺍﻟﻔﺮﺻﺔ ﻟﺤﻞ ﻣﺸﻜﻼﺗﻬﻢ ﺑﺄﻧﻔﺴﻬﻢ‪ ،‬ﻭﺍﻟﺘﻌﻠﻢ‬
‫ﻣﻦ ﺃﺧﻄﺎﺋﻬﻢ‬ ‫ﻛﺜﻴﺮﺍ ﻣﺎ ﻳﺘﺠﺎﻫﻞ‬
‫ً‬ ‫ﺍﻟﻤﺸﻜﻠﺔ‪:‬‬
‫ﻫﺬﺍ ﻫﻮ ﺣﺎﻝ ﺍﻟﺘﻌﺎﻣﻞ ﻣﻊ ﺍﻷﺑﻨﺎء‪.‬‬ ‫ﺍﻵﺑﺎء ﻣﺸﺎﻋﺮ ﺃﺑﻨﺎﺋﻬﻢ‪ ،‬ﻋﻠﻰ‬

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 ‫ﺍﻟﺴﻨـــﺔ ﺍﻷﻭﻟﻰ ‪ -‬ﺍﻟـﻌـﺪﺩ ﺍﻟﺮﺍﺑﻊ ‪) -‬ﺃﺑﺮﻳﻞ ‪4 - (2011‬‬ ‫ﺑﺤﺬﺍﻓﻴﺮﻫﺎ ﻣﺮﺓ ﺃﺧﺮﻯ‪.‬‬ ‫ﻓﻬﻢ ﻳﻤﻠﻜﻮﻥ ﺍﻟﻘﺪﺭﺓ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻣﺴﺎﻋﺪﺓ ﺃﻧﻔﺴﻬﻢ ﺇﺫﺍ ﻣﺎ ﻭﺟﺪﻭﺍ‬
‫ﺧﺼﻮﺻﺎ‬
‫ً‬ ‫‪ E‬ﺑﻌﺾ ﺍﻟﻤﺮﺍﻫﻘﻴﻦ ﻳﺄﺑﻮﻥ ﺍﻟﺘﺤﺪﺙ ﻋﻦ ﻣﺸﻜﻼﺗﻬﻢ‬ ‫ً‬
‫ﺻﺎﺩﻗﺎ‪ ،‬ﻭﻟﻜﻦ ﺍﻟﻠﻐﺔ ﺍﻟﺘﻲ ﺗﻌﺒﺮ ﻋﻦ‬ ‫ً‬
‫ﻭﺗﻌﺎﻃﻔﺎ‬ ‫ﺁﺫﺍ ًﻧﺎ ﺻﺎﻏﻴﺔ‬
‫ﻛﺎﻑ ﺑﺎﻟﻨﺴﺒﺔ‬
‫ﻋﻨﺪ ﺍﻟﻐﻀﺐ‪ .‬ﻓﻮﺟﻮﺩ ﺍﻷﺏ ﻭﺍﻷﻡ ﻓﻲ ﺣﺪ ﺫﺍﺗﻪ ٍ‬ ‫ﺍﻟﺘﻌﺎﻃﻒ ﻻ ﺗﻮﻟﺪ ﺩﺍﺧﻠﻨﺎ ﺑﺎﻟﻔﻄﺮﺓ ﻭﻟﻴﺴﺖ ﺟﺰءًﺍ ﻣﻦ ﻟﻐﺘﻨﺎ‬
‫ﺇﻟﻴﻬﻢ‪.‬‬ ‫ﺍﻷﻡ‪ ،‬ﻓﺎﻟﻜﺜﻴﺮﻭﻥ ﻣﻨﺎ ﻳﻌﺘﺎﺩﻭﻥ ﺗﺠﺎﻫﻞ ﻣﺸﺎﻋﺮﻫﻢ ﻣﻨﺬ ﺍﻟﻄﻔﻮﻟﺔ!‬
‫‪ E‬ﻳﻨﺰﻋﺞ ﺍﻷﺑﻨﺎء ﺣﻴﻦ ﻳﻌﺒﺮﻭﻥ ﻋﻦ ﺷﻌﻮﺭ ﺣﺎﺩ ﻭﻳﻨﺤﺼﺮ‬ ‫ﻟﻜﻲ ﺗﺼﺒﺢ ً‬
‫ﻃﻠﻴﻘﺎ ﻓﻲ ﺗﻠﻚ ﺍﻟﻠﻐﺔ ﺍﻟﺠﺪﻳﺪﺓ ﻟﺘﻘﺒﻞ ﺍﻵﺧﺮ‪ ،‬ﻳﺠﺐ‬
‫ﺭﺩ ﻓﻌﻞ ﺍﻵﺑﺎء ﻓﻲ ﻗﻮﻝ ”ﺍﻋﺘﺬﺭ ﻋﻤﺎ ﻓﻌﻠﺖ!“‬ ‫ﺃﻥ ﺗﺘﻌﻠﻢ ﻭﺗﻄﺒﻖ ﻣﻨﻬﺠﻬﺎ ﻭﺃﺳﻠﻮﺑﻬﺎ‪ .‬ﻫﺬﻩ ﺑﻌﺾ ﺃﺳﺎﻟﻴﺐ‬
‫‪ E‬ﻣﻦ ﺍﻟﺨﻄﺄ ً‬
‫ﺃﻳﻀﺎ ﺃﻥ ﻳﺘﺠﺎﻭﺏ ﺍﻵﺑﺎء ﺑﺸﻜﻞ ﺃﻛﺜﺮ ﺣﺪﺓ ﻣﻦ‬ ‫ﻣﺴﺎﻋﺪﺓ ﺍﻷﺑﻨﺎء ﻓﻲ ﺗﻘﺒﻞ ﻣﺸﺎﻋﺮﻫﻢ ﻭﺍﻟﺘﻌﺎﻣﻞ ﻣﻌﻬﺎ‪:‬‬
‫ﺳﻠﻮﻙ ﺍﻷﺑﻨﺎء‪.‬‬ ‫ً‬
‫ﺑﺪﻻ ﻣﻦ ﺍﻻﺳﺘﻤﺎﻉ ﺑﺄﺫﻥ ﻭﺍﺣﺪﺓ‪ ،‬ﺍﻣﻨﺤﻪ ﻛﻞ‬ ‫‪-1‬‬
‫‪ E‬ﺗﺠﻨﺐ ﺗﻜﺮﺍﺭ ﻧﻔﺲ ﺍﻟﻜﻠﻤﺎﺕ ﻭﺍﻟﻌﺒﺎﺭﺍﺕ ﺍﻟﺘﻲ ﻳﻄﻠﻘﻬﺎ‬
‫ً‬ ‫ﺍﻧﺘﺒﺎﻫﻚ‪ :‬ﻣﻦ ﺍﻟﻤﺤﺒﻂ ﺃﻥ ﺗﻌﺒﺮ ﻋﻦ ﻣﺸﺎﻋﺮﻙ ﻟﺸﺨﺺ ﻻ‬
‫ﺍﺳﺘﺨﻔﺎﻓﺎ ﺑﻤﺸﺎﻋﺮﻫﻢ ﻭﺗﻬﻜﻤًﺎ‬ ‫ﺍﻷﺑﻨﺎء ﻷﻧﻬﻢ ﻳﺮﻭﻥ ﻓﻲ ﺫﻟﻚ‬
‫ﻳﻤﻠﻚ ﺳﻮﻯ ﺷﻔﺎﻩ ﻣﺘﺤﺮﻛﺔ‪ .‬ﻣﻦ ﺍﻷﺳﻬﻞ ﺑﻜﺜﻴﺮ ﺃﻥ ﺗﻔﺼﺢ‬
‫ﻋﻠﻴﻬﻢ‪.‬‬
‫ﻋﻦ ﺍﺿﻄﺮﺍﺑﺎﺗﻚ ﻷﺏ ﻳﺴﺘﻤﻊ ﺇﻟﻴﻚ ﺑﻜﻞ ﺟﻮﺍﺭﺣﻪ‪ .‬ﻭﻟﻴﺲ‬
‫ﻣﻦ ﺍﻟﻀﺮﻭﺭﻱ ﺃﻥ ﻳﻨﺒﺲ ﺑﺒﻨﺖ ﺷﻔﺔ‪ ،‬ﻓﻜﻞ ﻣﺎ ﻳﺤﺘﺎﺟﻪ ﺍﻟﻄﻔﻞ‬
‫‪‬‬
‫ﻫﻮ ﻧﻈﺮﺓ ﺃﻭ ﺣﺘﻰ ﺻﻤﺖ ﻳﻨﻢ ﻋﻦ ﺍﻟﺘﻌﺎﻃﻒ‪.‬‬

‫ﻳﻌﺪ ﺍﻟﻜﻔﺎﺡ ﺍﻟﺪﺍﺋﻢ ﻟﻼﺭﺗﻘﺎء ﺑﺴﻠﻮﻙ ﺍﻷﺑﻨﺎء ﺑﺤﻴﺚ ﻳﺘﻨﺎﺳﺐ ﻣﻊ‬ ‫ﺑﺪﻻ ﻣﻦ ﺗﻘﺪﻳﻢ ﺍﻟﻨﺼﺎﺋﺢ ﻭﻃﺮﺡ ﺍﻷﺳﺌﻠﺔ‪ ،‬ﺍﻛﺘﻒ‬ ‫‪ً -2‬‬
‫ﺍﻟﻌﺮﻑ ﻭﺍﻟﻤﺠﺘﻤﻊ ﺑﺸﻜﻞ ﻋﺎﻡ ﺃﺣﺪ ﺃﻫﻢ ﺗﺤﺪﻳﺎﺕ ﺍﻷﺑﻮﺓ‪ ،‬ﺇﻥ ﻟﻢ‬ ‫ﺣﻘﺎ‪ ...‬ﺃﻧﺖ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺣﻖ“‪:‬‬‫ﺑﺒﻌﺾ ﺍﻟﻌﺒﺎﺭﺍﺕ ﻣﺜﻞ ”ﻧﻌﻢ‪ً ...‬‬
‫ﻭﻋﺴﺮﺍ‪ .‬ﻳﻜﻤﻦ ﺍﻟﺠﺰء ﺍﻷﺻﻌﺐ ﻣﻦ ﻫﺬﺍ‬ ‫ً‬ ‫ﻳﻜﻦ ﺃﻛﺜﺮﻫﺎ ﻣﺸﻘﺔ‬ ‫ﻳﺼﻌﺐ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻷﻃﻔﺎﻝ ﺗﺮﺗﻴﺐ ﺍﻷﻓﻜﺎﺭ ﻭﺍﻻﺳﺘﺮﺳﺎﻝ ﻓﻲ‬
‫ﺍﻟﻜﻔﺎﺡ ﻓﻴﻤﺎ ﻳﻌﺮﻑ ﺑﺼﺮﺍﻉ ﺍﻻﺣﺘﻴﺎﺟﺎﺕ‪ .‬ﺃﻫﻢ ﻣﺎ ﻳﺤﺘﺎﺟﻪ‬ ‫ﺍﻟﺤﺪﻳﺚ ﺣﻴﻦ ﻳﻜﻮﻧﻮﻥ ﻓﻲ ﻣﻮﺿﻊ ﺍﺳﺘﺠﻮﺍﺏ ﺃﻭ ﺍﺗﻬﺎﻡ ﺃﻭ‬
‫ﺍﻟﺒﺎﻟﻎ ﻫﻮ ﻣﻈﻬﺮ ﺧﺎﺭﺟﻲ ﻻﺋﻖ‪ ،‬ﺑﺎﻹﺿﺎﻓﺔ ﺇﻟﻰ ﺍﻟﻨﻈﺎﻡ‪،‬‬ ‫ﺣﺘﻰ ﻧﺼﻴﺤﺔ‪ .‬ﻓﺒﻌﺾ ﺍﻟﻜﻠﻤﺎﺕ ﻭﺍﻹﻳﻤﺎءﺍﺕ ﺍﻟﺒﺴﻴﻄﺔ ﻣﺜﻞ‬
‫ﻭﺃﺧﻴﺮﺍ ﺍﻟﺮﻭﺗﻴﻦ‪ .‬ﺃﻣﺎ ﺍﻷﻃﻔﺎﻝ ﻓﺘﺨﺘﻠﻒ‬
‫ً‬ ‫ﻭﺑﻌﺾ ﺍﻹﻃﺮﺍءﺍﺕ‪،‬‬ ‫”ﻧﻌﻢ‪ ...‬ﻣﻤﻢ‪ ...‬ﺃﻭﻩ“ ﺗﺘﻤﺘﻊ ﺑﺘﺄﺛﻴﺮ ﻛﺒﻴﺮ‪ .‬ﻓﻬﺬﻩ ﺍﻟﻜﻠﻤﺎﺕ‬
‫ﺃﻭﻟﻮﻳﺎﺗﻬﻢ! ﻓﻜﻢ ﻣﻦ ﺍﻷﻃﻔﺎﻝ ﻗﺪ ﻳﺴﺘﺤﻢ ﺃﻭ ﻳﻐﺘﺴﻞ – ﺑﺮﻏﺒﺔ‬ ‫ﻣﻘﺘﺮﻧﺔ ﺑﺴﻠﻮﻙ ﻭﻧﻈﺮﺓ ﺍﻫﺘﻤﺎﻡ ﻛﻔﻴﻠﺔ ﺑﺄﻥ ﺗﺴﺘﻘﻄﺐ ﺍﻷﻃﻔﺎﻝ‬
‫ً‬
‫ﺟﺰﻳﻼ!“‪.‬‬ ‫”ﺷﻜﺮﺍ‬
‫ً‬ ‫ﻧﺎﺑﻌﺔ ﻣﻨﻪ – ﺃﻭ ﻳﻘﻮﻝ ”ﻣﻦ ﻓﻀﻠﻚ“ ﺃﻭ‬ ‫ﻟﻠﺘﻌﺒﻴﺮ ﻋﻦ ﻣﺸﺎﻋﺮﻫﻢ ﺍﻟﺪﻓﻴﻨﺔ ﻭﺍﻟﺒﻮﺡ ﺑﻤﺸﻜﻼﺗﻬﻢ ﻭﺍﻟﺨﺮﻭﺝ‬
‫ﻳﻨﺼﺐ ﻣﻌﻈﻢ ﺍﻟﺘﻬﺬﻳﺐ ﺍﻷﺑﻮﻱ ﻓﻲ ﻣﺴﺎﻋﺪﺓ ﺍﻷﺑﻨﺎء ﻋﻠﻰ‬ ‫ﺑﺤﻠﻮﻝ ﻣﻨﺎﺳﺒﺔ ﻟﻬﺎ ﺑﺄﻧﻔﺴﻬﻢ‪.‬‬
‫ﺍﻟﺘﺄﻗﻠﻢ ﻣﻊ ﺍﻟﻤﻌﺎﻳﻴﺮ ﻭﺍﻷﻋﺮﺍﻑ ﺍﻻﺟﺘﻤﺎﻋﻴﺔ‪ ،‬ﻭﻟﻜﻦ ﻛﻠﻤﺎ ﺍﺯﺩﺍﺩ‬ ‫‪ً -3‬‬
‫ﺑﺪﻻ ﻣﻦ ﺗﺠﺎﻫﻞ ﺍﻟﻤﺸﺎﻋﺮ‪ ،‬ﺍﻣﻨﺤﻬﺎ ﻣﺴﻤﻰ ﻣﺤﺪ ًﺩﺍ‪:‬‬
‫ﺇﺻﺮﺍﺭ ﺍﻵﺑﺎء‪ ،‬ﺗﻀﺎﻋﻒ ﺭﻓﺾ ﺍﻷﺑﻨﺎء‪.‬‬ ‫ﻣﻦ ﺍﻟﻌﺠﻴﺐ ﺃﻥ ﺍﻷﻃﻔﺎﻝ ﻳﺰﺩﺍﺩﻭﻥ ً‬
‫ﺣﻨﻘﺎ ﻭﻏﻀﺒًﺎ ﺣﻴﻦ ﺗﺤﺎﻭﻝ‬
‫ﺷﻌﻮﺭﺍ ﻣﺎ ﺣﺘﻰ ﻭﻟﻮ ﺑﻠﻄﻒ ﻭﻫﺪﻭء ﺷﺪﻳﺪ‪.‬‬
‫ً‬ ‫ﺃﻥ ﺗﺼﺮﻑ ﻋﻨﻬﻢ‬
‫ﻫﻞ ﻣﻦ ﺑﺪﻳﻞ؟ ﻫﻞ ﻣﻦ ﻭﺳﻴﻠﺔ ﻟﺤﻔﺰ ﺍﻷﺑﻨﺎء ﻭﺣﺜﻬﻢ ﻋﻠﻰ‬
‫ﻭﻣﻦ ﺛﻢ ﻳﺨﺸﻰ ﺍﻵﺑﺎء ﺃﻥ ﻳﻤﻨﺤﻮﺍ ﻫﺬﺍ ﺍﻟﺸﻌﻮﺭ ﺍﺳﻤًﺎ ﺣﺘﻰ ﻻ‬
‫ﺍﻟﺘﻌﺎﻭﻥ ﻭﺍﻟﺘﻘﻮﻳﻢ ﺍﻻﺟﺘﻤﺎﻋﻲ ﺩﻭﻥ ﺍﻟﺘﺴﺒﺐ ﻓﻲ ﺗﻘﻠﻴﻞ ﺛﻘﺘﻬﻢ‬
‫ﻳﺰﺩﺍﺩ ﺍﻟﻮﺿﻊ ﺳﻮءًﺍ‪ .‬ﻟﻜﻦ ﺍﻟﻌﻜﺲ ﻫﻮ ﺍﻟﺼﺤﻴﺢ! ﻓﺎﻟﻄﻔﻞ‬
‫ﺑﺎﻟﻨﻔﺲ ﺃﻭ ﺍﻟﺨﺮﻭﺝ ﺑﻨﺘﺎﺋﺞ ﻋﻜﺴﻴﺔ ﺃﻭ ﻣﺸﺎﻋﺮ ﺳﻠﺒﻴﺔ؟ ﻫﺬﻩ‬
‫ﺑﻤﺠﺮﺩ ﺃﻥ ﻳﺴﻤﻊ ﺍﺳﻢ ﺍﻟﺸﻌﻮﺭ ﺍﻟﺬﻱ ﻳﻤﺮ ﺑﻪ ﻳﻨﺘﺎﺑﻪ ﺇﺣﺴﺎﺱ‬
‫ﺑﻌﺾ ﺍﻟﻤﻬﺎﺭﺍﺕ ﺍﻟﺘﻲ ﺗﻤﻜﻨﻚ ﻣﻦ ﺧﻠﻖ ﻣﻨﺎﺥ ﻗﺎﺋﻢ ﻋﻠﻰ‬
‫ﺑﺎﻟﺮﺍﺣﺔ‪ ،‬ﺫﻟﻚ ﺃﻧﻪ ﻭﺟﺪ ﻣﻦ ﻳﻔﻬﻢ ﺣﻘﻴﻘﺔ ﻣﺸﺎﻋﺮﻩ ﺍﻟﺪﺍﺧﻠﻴﺔ‪،‬‬
‫ﺍﻻﺣﺘﺮﺍﻡ ﺍﻟﻤﺘﺒﺎﺩﻝ ﺗﺴﻬﻞ ﻓﻴﻪ ﻋﻤﻠﻴﺔ ﺍﻟﺘﻌﺎﻭﻥ ﻭﺍﻟﺘﻘﻮﻳﻢ‬
‫ﻋﻠﻰ ﺳﺒﻴﻞ ﺍﻟﻤﺜﺎﻝ‪” :‬ﻳﺒﺪﻭ ﺃﻧﻚ ﺗﺸﻌﺮ ﺑﺸﻲء ﻣﻦ ﺍﻹﺣﺒﺎﻁ!“‪.‬‬
‫ﺍﻻﺟﺘﻤﺎﻋﻲ‪:‬‬
‫ﺑﺪﻻ ﻣﻦ ﺍﺳﺘﺨﺪﺍﻡ ﺍﻟﻤﻨﻄﻖ ﻭﺍﻟﻔﻠﺴﻔﺔ‪ ،‬ﺍﻣﻨﺢ ﻃﻔﻠﻚ‬ ‫‪ً -4‬‬
‫‪ -1‬ﺍﻟﻮﺻﻒ‪ :‬ﺻﻒ ﻣﺎ ﺗﺮﺍﻩ ﺃﻣﺎﻡ ﻋﻴﻨﻴﻚ‪ ،‬ﻭﺣﺪﺩ ﺍﻟﻤﺸﻜﻠﺔ‬ ‫ﻣﺎ ﻳﺘﻤﻨﺎﻩ ﻭﻟﻮ ﻓﻲ ﻋﺎﻟﻢ ﻣﻦ ﺍﻟﺨﻴﺎﻝ‪ :‬ﺣﻴﻦ ﻳﻌﺒﺮ ﺍﻟﻄﻔﻞ‬
‫ﻛﻤﺎ ﺗﺮﺍﻫﺎ‪ .‬ﻣﻦ ﺍﻟﺼﻌﺐ ﺃﻥ ﻳﻘﻮﻡ ﺍﻹﻧﺴﺎﻥ ﺑﻤﺎ ﻋﻠﻴﻪ ﺃﻥ‬ ‫ﻋﻦ ﺭﻏﺒﺘﻪ ﺍﻟﻤﻠﺤﺔ ﻓﻲ ﺷﻲء ﻻ ﻳﻤﻜﻨﻪ ﺍﻟﺤﺼﻮﻝ ﻋﻠﻴﻪ‪ ،‬ﻳﺤﺎﻭﻝ‬
‫ﻳﻔﻌﻠﻪ ﻃﺎﻟﻤﺎ ﻳﺴﺘﻤﺮ ﺍﻵﺧﺮﻭﻥ ﻓﻲ ﺳﺆﺍﻟﻪ‪” :‬ﻣﺎ ﺧﻄﺒﻚ؟!“‬ ‫ﺍﻵﺑﺎء ﺗﺒﺮﻳﺮ ﺃﺳﺒﺎﺏ ﻋﺪﻡ ﺇﻣﻜﺎﻧﻴﺔ ﺍﻟﺤﺼﻮﻝ ﻋﻠﻴﻪ ﺑﺎﻟﺘﻔﺴﻴﺮ‬
‫ﺧﻼﺻــــﺎﺕ ﻛﺘﺐ ﺍﻟﺘﺮﺑﻴــــﺔ ﻭﺍﻟﺘﻌﻠﻴﻢ‬

‫ﻭﻟﻜﻦ ﺑﻤﺠﺮﺩ ﺃﻥ ﻳﻘﻮﻡ ﺃﺣﺪﻫﻢ ﺑﻮﺻﻒ ﺍﻟﻤﺸﻜﻠﺔ ﺍﻟﺘﻲ ﻳﻌﺎﻧﻲ‬
‫ﻳﺴﺮﺍ ﺑﺤﻴﺚ ﻳﺘﺎﺡ ﻟﻪ‬
‫ﻣﻨﻬﺎ ﻭﻣﻨﺤﻬﺎ ﺍﺳﻤًﺎ‪ ،‬ﻳﺼﺒﺢ ﺍﻷﻣﺮ ﺃﻛﺜﺮ ً‬
‫ﺗﻮﺣﻴﺪ ﺗﺮﻛﻴﺰﻩ ﻭﺍﻫﺘﻤﺎﻣﻪ ﻟﻠﺘﻌﺎﻃﻲ ﻣﻌﻬﺎ‪ .‬ﺣﻴﻦ ﻳﻘﻮﻡ ﺍﻟﺒﺎﻟﻐﻮﻥ‬
‫ﺑﻮﺻﻒ ﺍﻟﻤﺸﻜﻠﺔ‪ ،‬ﻓﺈﻧﻬﻢ ﻳﺘﻴﺤﻮﻥ ﻷﻃﻔﺎﻟﻬﻢ ﺍﻟﻔﺮﺻﺔ ﻟﻠﺘﻌﺎﻣﻞ‬
‫ﻭﻓﻘﺎ ﻟﻬﺎ‪ ،‬ﻣﺜﻞ‪” :‬ﻣﺎ ﺯﺍﻝ ﻣﺼﺒﺎﺡ ﺍﻟﻐﺮﻓﺔ‬‫ﻣﻌﻬﺎ ﻭﺍﻟﺘﺼﺮﻑ ً‬
‫ﻣﻀﺎءً!“‬
‫ﺍﻟﻌﻘﻠﻲ ﻭﺍﻟﺘﺤﻠﻴﻞ ﺍﻟﻤﻨﻄﻘﻲ‪ .‬ﻣﻊ ﺃﻧﻪ ﻛﻠﻤﺎ ﺍﺯﺩﺍﺩ ﺍﻟﺘﻔﺴﻴﺮ ﺗﻌﻘﻴ ًﺪﺍ‪،‬‬
‫ﺯﺍﺩ ﺍﻋﺘﺮﺍﺽ ﻭﺇﺻﺮﺍﺭ ﺍﻷﺑﻨﺎء! ﻭﻟﻜﻦ ﻓﻲ ﺑﻌﺾ ﺍﻷﺣﻴﺎﻥ‪،‬‬
‫ﻗﺪ ﻳﺠﺪﻱ ﻧﻔﻌًﺎ ﺃﻥ ﻳﺸﻌﺮ ﺍﻟﻄﻔﻞ ﺑﺄﻥ ﺍﻟﻄﺮﻑ ﺍﻵﺧﺮ ﻳﺘﻔﻬﻢ ﺟﻴ ًﺪﺍ‬
‫ﻣﺪﻯ ﺭﻏﺒﺘﻪ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻟﺤﺼﻮﻝ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻫﺬﺍ ﺍﻟﺸﻲء‪ .‬ﻓﻴﻤﻜﻦ ﺃﻥ ﻳﻘﻮﻝ‬
‫ﻋﻠﻰ ﺳﺒﻴﻞ ﺍﻟﻤﺜﺎﻝ‪” :‬ﻟﻴﺘﻨﻲ ﺃﺳﺘﻄﻴﻊ ﺃﻥ ﺃﺟﻌﻞ ﻫﺬﻩ ﺍﻟﻤﻮﺯﺓ‬
‫ﺗﻨﻀﺞ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻟﺤﺎﻝ ﻛﻲ ﺗﺘﻤﻜﻦ ﻣﻦ ﺗﻨﺎﻭﻟﻬﺎ ﻳﺎ ﻋﺰﻳﺰﻱ!“‬

‫‪ -2‬ﺗﻘﺪﻳﻢ ﺍﻟﻤﻌﻠﻮﻣﺎﺕ‪ :‬ﻳﺴﻬﻞ ﺗﻘﺒﻞ ﺍﻷﻭﺍﻣﺮ ﻭﺍﻟﺘﻌﺎﻣﻞ ﻣﻌﻬﺎ‬ ‫‪‬‬

‫ﻭﻓﻘﺎ ﻟﻤﻌﻠﻮﻣﺎﺕ ﻣﺤﺪﺩﺓ ً‬
‫ﺑﺪﻻ ﻣﻦ ﺍﻻﺗﻬﺎﻣﺎﺕ ﺍﻟﻤﺒﺎﺷﺮﺓ‪ .‬ﺣﻴﻦ‬ ‫ً‬
‫‪2‬‬ ‫ﻳﺴﺘﻘﺒﻞ ﺍﻷﺑﻨﺎء ﺍﻟﻤﻌﻠﻮﻣﺎﺕ‪ ،‬ﺑﺈﻣﻜﺎﻧﻬﻢ ﺍﻟﺘﻮﺻﻞ ﺇﻟﻰ ﺍﻟﺨﻄﻮﺍﺕ‬ ‫‪ E‬ﺃﻛﺜﺮ ﻣﺎ ﻳﺜﻴﺮ ﻏﻀﺐ ﺍﻷﺑﻨﺎء ﻫﻮ ﺃﻥ ﺗﻜﺮﺭ ﻛﻠﻤﺎﺗﻬﻢ‬
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 ‫‪‬‬ ‫ﺍﻟﻮﺍﺟﺐ ﺍﺗﺨﺎﺫﻫﺎ ﺑﺄﻧﻔﺴﻬﻢ ﻣﺜﻞ‪” :‬ﻫﻞ ﺗﻌﻠﻢ ﻳﺎ ﺍﺑﻨﻲ ﺃﻥ ﺍﻟﻠﺒﻦ‬

‫ﺍﻟﺴﻨـــﺔ ﺍﻷﻭﻟﻰ ‪ -‬ﺍﻟـﻌـﺪﺩ ﺍﻟﺮﺍﺑﻊ ‪) -‬ﺃﺑﺮﻳﻞ ‪4 - (2011‬‬

‫ﻳﺘﺤﻮﻝ ﺇﻟﻰ ﺣﺎﻣﺾ ﻭﻳﺘﺨﺜﺮ ﺛﻢ ﻳﺘﻠﻒ ﺇﻥ ﻟﻢ ﻳﺘﻢ ﺗﺒﺮﻳﺪﻩ ﻓﻲ‬
‫‪ E‬ﻣﻬﺎﺭﺓ ”ﺍﻟﻮﺻﻒ“ ﺳﻼﺡ ﺫﻭ ﺣﺪﻳﻦ‪ ،‬ﻓﻔﻲ ﺑﻌﺾ ﺍﻷﺣﻴﺎﻥ‬ ‫ﺍﻟﺜﻼﺟﺔ؟“‬
‫ﻧﺴﻲء ﺍﺳﺘﺨﺪﺍﻣﻬﺎ ﻓﺘﺄﺗﻲ ﺑﻨﺘﺎﺋﺞ ﻋﻜﺴﻴﺔ ﻭﺗﺘﺴﺒﺐ ﻓﻲ ﺇﺛﺎﺭﺓ‬
‫‪ -3‬ﺍﻻﺧﺘﺼﺎﺭ‪ :‬ﺁﺧﺮ ﻣﺎ ﻳﺤﺘﺎﺝ ﺍﻷﺑﻨﺎء ﺇﻟﻰ ﺳﻤﺎﻋﻪ ﻫﻮ‬
‫ﻣﺸﺎﻋﺮ ﺍﻟﻐﻀﺐ‪.‬‬
‫ﺍﻟﻤﺤﺎﺿﺮﺍﺕ ﻭﺍﻟﻤﻮﺍﻋﻆ ﻭﺍﻟﺨﻄﺐ ﺍﻟﻄﻮﻳﻠﺔ‪ .‬ﻓﺨﻴﺮ ﺍﻟﻜﻼﻡ‬
‫‪ E‬ﺗﺠﻨﺐ ﺇﻋﻄﺎء ﺍﻟﻄﻔﻞ ﺑﻌﺾ ﺍﻟﻤﻌﻠﻮﻣﺎﺕ ﺍﻟﺘﻲ ﻳﻌﻠﻤﻬﺎ‬ ‫ً‬
‫ﺑﺪﻻ ﻣﻦ ﻗﻮﻝ‪” :‬ﻫﺎ ﺃﻧﺖ ﺫﺍ ﺗﻐﺎﺩﺭ ﺍﻟﻤﻨﺰﻝ‬ ‫ﻣﺎ ﻗﻞ ﻭﺩﻝ‪.‬‬
‫ﺑﺎﻟﻔﻌﻞ‪.‬‬
‫ً‬ ‫ﺩﻭﻥ ﻃﻌﺎﻣﻚ ﻣﺮﺓ ﺃﺧﺮﻯ‪ ،‬ﻟﻦ ﺗﺘﻐﻴﺮ ﺃﺑ ًﺪﺍ‪ .‬ﻟﻮ ﻟﻢ ﻳﻜﻦ ﺭﺃﺳﻚ‬
‫‪ E‬ﻻ ﺗﺴﺘﺨﺪﻡ ﺟﻤﻼ ﺗﺤﺬﻳﺮﻳﺔ ﻣﻜﻮﻧﺔ ﻣﻦ ﺍﺳﻢ ﺍﺑﻨﻚ ﻓﻘﻂ‪.‬‬ ‫ً‬
‫ﻣﻠﺘﺼﻘﺎ ﺑﺠﺴﺪﻙ ﻟﻨﺴﻴﺘﻪ ﻫﻮ ﺍﻵﺧﺮ“‪ ،‬ﻗﻞ ﺑﺒﺴﺎﻃﺔ ﻣﺘﻨﺎﻫﻴﺔ‪:‬‬
‫‪ E‬ﺑﻌﺾ ﺍﻷﺑﻨﺎء ﺣﺴﺎﺳﻮﻥ ﻭﻳﺼﻌﺐ ﻋﻠﻴﻬﻢ ﺗﻘﺒﻞ ﺭﻓﺾ‬
‫”ﻳﺎ ﺟﻤﻴﻞ‪ ،‬ﻻ ﺗﻨﺲ ﻃﻌﺎﻣﻚ ﻣﻦ ﻓﻀﻠﻚ!“‬
‫ﻭﺍﺳﺘﻨﻜﺎﺭ ﺍﻵﺑﺎء‪ .‬ﻓﺒﻌﺾ ﺍﻟﺠﻤﻞ ﺍﻟﻘﻮﻳﺔ ﻣﺜﻞ ”ﺃﻧﺎ ﺷﺪﻳﺪ‬
‫ﺍﻟﻐﻀﺐ“ ﻳﺼﻌﺐ ﻋﻠﻴﻬﻢ ﺗﺤﻤﻠﻬﺎ‪ .‬ﻓﻲ ﻫﺬﻩ ﺍﻟﺤﺎﻟﺔ ﻣﻦ ﺍﻷﻓﻀﻞ‬ ‫‪ -4‬ﺍﻟﺘﻌﺒﻴﺮ ﻋﻦ ﺍﻟﻤﺸﺎﻋﺮ‪ :‬ﻻ ﺗﻘﺪﻡ ﺃﻳﺔ ﺗﻌﻠﻴﻘﺎﺕ ﺃﻭ‬
‫ﺃﻥ ﺗﻌﺒﺮ ﻋﻦ ﺗﻮﻗﻌﺎﺗﻚ ً‬
‫ﺑﺪﻻ ﻣﻦ ﻋﺒﺎﺭﺍﺕ ﺍﻟﺘﻬﺪﻳﺪ ﻭﺍﻟﻮﻋﻴﺪ‪.‬‬ ‫ﺗﺸﺒﻴﻬﺎﺕ ﺑﺸﺄﻥ ﺷﺨﺼﻴﺔ ﺃﺑﻨﺎﺋﻚ ﺃﻭ ﺳﻤﺎﺗﻬﻢ‪ .‬ﻳﺤﻖ ﻟﻸﺑﻨﺎء‬
‫ﺳﻤﺎﻉ ﻣﺸﺎﻋﺮ ﺁﺑﺎﺋﻬﻢ ﺍﻟﺤﻘﻴﻘﻴﺔ‪ ،‬ﻭﻟﻜﻦ ﻳﻜﻤﻦ ﺍﻟﺴﺮ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻟﻘﺪﺭﺓ‬
‫‪ ‬‬ ‫ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻟﺘﻌﺒﻴﺮ ﻋﻦ ﺗﻠﻚ ﺍﻟﻤﺸﺎﻋﺮ ﺑﺼﺪﻕ ﺩﻭﻥ ﺍﻟﺘﺴﺒﺐ ﻓﻲ‬
‫ﺇﻳﺬﺍء ﺃﻭ ﺟﺮﺡ ﻣﺸﺎﻋﺮ ﺍﻵﺧﺮﻳﻦ‪ .‬ﻋﻨﺪﻣﺎ ﻳﺮﻏﺐ ﺍﻵﺑﺎء‬
‫ﺃﻋﺎﻗﺒﻪ ﺃﻡ ﻻ؟ ﻟﻺﺟﺎﺑﺔ ﻋﻦ ﻫﺬﺍ ﺍﻟﺴﺆﺍﻝ‪ ،‬ﻳﺠﺐ ﺃﻥ ﺗﺴﺄﻝ‬ ‫ﻓﻲ ﺍﻟﻤﺴﺎﻋﺪﺓ ﻓﺈﻧﻬﻢ ﻳﺴﺘﺨﺪﻣﻮﻥ ﺿﻤﺎﺋﺮ ﺍﻟﻤﺘﻜﻠﻢ ﻛﻤﺎ ﻓﻲ‪:‬‬
‫ﻧﻔﺴﻚ ً‬
‫ﺃﻭﻻ‪” :‬ﻟﻢ ﺃﻟﺠﺄ ﺇﻟﻰ ﺍﻟﻌﻘﺎﺏ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻟﻤﻘﺎﻡ ﺍﻷﻭﻝ؟“ ﺑﻌﺾ‬ ‫ﺑﺪﻻ ﻣﻦ ﻗﻮﻝ ”ﻛﻢ ﺃﻧﺖ ﻭﻗﺢ‪ ،‬ﺃﻟﻦ ﺗﻜﻒ ﻋﻦ‬ ‫ً‬ ‫”ﺃﻧﺎ ﺃﺷﻌﺮ“‪.‬‬
‫ﺍﻹﺟﺎﺑﺎﺕ ﺍﻟﺘﻲ ﻭﺭﺩﺕ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻟﺴﺎﻥ ﺍﻵﺑﺎء ”ﺇﻥ ﻟﻢ ﺃﻋﺎﻗﺒﻪ‪،‬‬ ‫ﻣﻘﺎﻃﻌﺘﻲ؟“ ﻋﺒﱢﺮ ﻋﻦ ﻣﺸﺎﻋﺮﻙ ﺍﻟﺨﺎﺻﺔ ﻛﺄﻥ ﺗﻘﻮﻝ‪” :‬ﺃﺷﻌﺮ‬
‫ﺳﻴﻔﻌﻞ ﻣﺎ ﻳﺤﻠﻮ ﻟﻪ ﻭﻟﻦ ﻳﺠﺪ ﻣﺎ ﻳﺤﻮﻝ ﺑﻴﻨﻪ ﻭﺑﻴﻦ ﺍﺭﺗﻜﺎﺏ‬ ‫ﺑﻀﻴﻖ ﺷﺪﻳﺪ ﻋﻨﺪﻣﺎ ﺃﺑﺪﺃ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻟﺤﺪﻳﺚ ﻭﻻ ﺃﺳﺘﻄﻴﻊ ﺇﻛﻤﺎﻟﻪ‪“.‬‬
‫ﺍﻟﺠﺮﺍﺋﻢ ﻋﻨﺪﻣﺎ ﻳﻜﺒﺮ“ ﻭﻳﻘﻮﻝ ﺁﺧﺮ‪” :‬ﺃﻋﺎﻗﺐ ﺍﺑﻨﻲ ﻷﻥ ﺍﻟﻌﻘﺎﺏ‬ ‫ﻳﺘﻀﺢ ﻣﻦ ﺫﻟﻚ ﺇﻣﻜﺎﻧﻴﺔ ﻣﺘﺎﺑﻌﺔ ﺍﻟﺤﺪﻳﺚ ﻭﺍﻟﺘﻌﺎﻭﻥ ﻣﻊ ﺷﺨﺺ‬
‫ﻫﻮ ﺍﻟﺸﻲء ﺍﻟﻮﺣﻴﺪ ﺍﻟﺬﻱ ﻳﻔﻬﻤﻪ ﻭﻳﺪﺭﻛﻪ‪“.‬‬ ‫ﻏﺎﺿﺐ ﺃﻭ ﺣﺘﻰ ﺛﺎﺋﺮ ﻣﺎ ﺩﺍﻡ ﻻ ﻳﻬﺎﺟﻢ ﺷﺨﺼﻴﺘﻚ ﻭﻗﺪﺭﺍﺗﻚ‪.‬‬

‫ﻟﻠﻌﻘﺎﺏ ﻋﻮﺍﻗﺐ ﻭﺧﻴﻤﺔ ﺗﻔﻮﻕ ﻓﻮﺍﺋﺪﻩ ﺑﻤﺮﺍﺣﻞ‪ .‬ﺍﻟﻌﻘﺎﺏ ﻻ‬ ‫‪ -5‬ﺗﺪﻭﻳﻦ ﺍﻟﻤﻼﺣﻈﺎﺕ‪ :‬ﻗﺪ ﺗﻜﻮﻥ ﻛﻠﻤﺔ ﻭﺍﺣﺪﺓ ﻣﻜﺘﻮﺑﺔ‬
‫ً‬
‫ﻭﺑﺪﻻ ﻣﻦ ﺃﻥ‬ ‫ﻳﺠﺪﻱ ﻧﻔﻌًﺎ‪ ،‬ﺑﻞ ﻳﺘﺴﺒﺐ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻻﺿﻄﺮﺍﺑﺎﺕ‪،‬‬ ‫ﺃﻓﻀﻞ ﻣﻦ ﻣﺌﺎﺕ ﺍﻟﻜﻠﻤﺎﺕ ﺍﻟﻤﺴﻤﻮﻋﺔ‪ .‬ﻋﻠﻰ ﺳﺒﻴﻞ ﺍﻟﻤﺜﺎﻝ‪:‬‬
‫ﻳﺸﻌﺮ ﺍﻟﻄﻔﻞ ﺑﺎﻟﺬﻧﺐ ﻟﻤﺎ ﺍﻗﺘﺮﻓﻪ ﻣﻦ ﺃﻓﻌﺎﻝ ﻭﻳﺒﺪﺃ ﻓﻲ ﺇﻧﻘﺎﺫ‬ ‫ﺑﺎﺩﺭﺕ ﺇﺣﺪﻯ ﺍﻷﻣﻬﺎﺕ ﺫﺍﺕ ﻣﺮﺓ ﺑﻜﺘﺎﺑﺔ ﻣﻠﺤﻮﻇﺔ ﻓﻮﻕ ﺟﻬﺎﺯ‬
‫ﻣﺎ ﻳﻤﻜﻦ ﺇﻧﻘﺎﺫﻩ‪ ،‬ﺗﺴﻴﻄﺮ ﻋﻠﻴﻪ ﻓﻜﺮﺓ ﺍﻻﻧﺘﻘﺎﻡ‪ .‬ﺑﻤﻌﻨﻰ ﺁﺧﺮ‪:‬‬ ‫ﺍﻟﺘﻠﻔﺎﺯ ﺗﻘﻮﻝ ﻓﻴﻬﺎ‪” :‬ﻗﺒﻞ ﺃﻥ ﺗﻬﻢ ﺑﺘﺸﻐﻴﻞ ﺍﻟﺘﻠﻔﺎﺯ‪ ،‬ﺣﺎﺳﺐ‬
‫ﺃﻭﻻ‪ ،‬ﻫﻞ ﺃﺩﻳﺖ ﻣﺎ ﻟﺪﻳﻚ ﻣﻦ ﻓﺮﻭﺽ ﻣﻨﺰﻟﻴﺔ؟ ﻫﻞ‬ ‫ﻧﻔﺴﻚ ً‬
‫ﺗﺘﺴﺒﺐ ﻣﻌﺎﻗﺒﺔ ﺍﻷﻃﻔﺎﻝ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻧﺘﺰﺍﻉ ﺍﻟﺠﺰء ﺍﻟﻤﺴﺆﻭﻝ ﺑﺪﺍﺧﻠﻬﻢ‬
‫ﻗﻤﺖ ﺑﺤﻞ ﺍﻟﺘﻤﺮﻳﻨﺎﺕ؟“‬

‫‪‬‬

‫ﻭﺗﻜﺮﺍﺭﺍ ﺃﻥ ﺗﺴﺘﺨﺪﻡ‬
‫ً‬ ‫ﻣﺮﺍﺭﺍ‬
‫‪ E‬ﺍﻟﻠﻮﻡ ﻭﺍﻻﺗﻬﺎﻡ‪” :‬ﺍﻧﻈﺮ‪ ،‬ﺑﺼﻤﺎﺕ ﺃﺻﺎﺑﻌﻚ ﺍﻟﻤﺘﺴﺨﺔ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻟﺒﺎﺏ ﻣﺮﺓ ﺃﺧﺮﻯ! ‪ ...‬ﺃﻟﻢ ﺃﺧﺒﺮﻙ ً‬
‫ﺍﻟﻤﻘﺒﺾ؟ ‪ ...‬ﺳﺘﻈﻞ ﻫﻜﺬﺍ ﺩﺍﺋﻤًﺎ ﻷﻧﻚ ﻻ ﺗﺴﻤﻊ ﺃﺑ ًﺪﺍ‪“.‬‬
‫‪ E‬ﺍﻟﺸﺘﺎﺋﻢ‪” :‬ﺍﻧﻈﺮ ﺇﻟﻰ ﻃﺮﻳﻘﺘﻚ ﻓﻲ ﺗﻨﺎﻭﻝ ﺍﻟﻄﻌﺎﻡ! ﺃﻧﺖ ً‬
‫ﺣﻘﺎ ﻣﺜﻴﺮ ﻟﻼﺷﻤﺌﺰﺍﺯ‪“.‬‬
‫‪ E‬ﺍﻟﺘﻬﺪﻳﺪ‪” :‬ﺣﺎﻭﻝ ﺃﻥ ﺗﻠﻤﺲ ﺫﻟﻚ ﺍﻟﻤﺼﺒﺎﺡ ﻣﺮﺓ ﺃﺧﺮﻯ ﻭﺳﺄﺻﻔﻌﻚ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻭﺟﻬﻚ!“‬
‫‪ E‬ﺍﻷﻭﺍﻣﺮ‪” :‬ﻫﻴﺎ ﺍﺻﻌﺪ ﻟﺘﻨﻈﻴﻒ ﻏﺮﻓﺘﻚ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻟﺤﺎﻝ ﻭﺇﻳﺎﻙ ﺃﻥ ﺗﺘﻜﺎﺳﻞ‪“.‬‬
‫ﺧﻼﺻــــﺎﺕ ﻛﺘﺐ ﺍﻟﺘﺮﺑﻴــــﺔ ﻭﺍﻟﺘﻌﻠﻴﻢ‬

‫‪ E‬ﺍﻟﻮﻋﻆ ﻭﺍﻟﺘﻮﺑﻴﺦ‪” :‬ﻫﻞ ﺗﻌﺘﻘﺪ ﺃﻥ ﺫﻟﻚ ﺗﺼﺮﻑ ﻻﺋﻖ‪ ،‬ﺃﻥ ﺗﻨﺘﺰﻉ ﺍﻟﻜﺘﺎﺏ ﻣﻦ ﻳﺪﻱ؟ ‪ ...‬ﺃﻧﺖ ﻏﻴﺮ ﻣﺆﺩﺏ ‪ ...‬ﺃﻧﺖ ﻻ ﺗﺪﺭﻙ‬
‫ً‬
‫ﻣﻨﻀﺒﻄﺎ ﻭﻣﺆﺩﺑﺎً‪“.‬‬ ‫ﺃﻧﻚ ﻳﺠﺐ ﺃﻥ ﺗﻜﻮﻥ‬
‫‪ E‬ﺍﻟﺘﺤﺬﻳﺮﺍﺕ‪” :‬ﺍﻧﺘﺒﻪ ﻟﻤﺎ ﺗﻔﻌﻠﻪ ﻭﺇﻻ ﺃﺣﺮﻗﺖ ﻧﻔﺴﻚ‪“.‬‬
‫‪ E‬ﺗﻮﺟﻴﻪ ﺗﻬﻤﺔ ﺍﻟﻘﺘﻞ‪” :‬ﻫﻞ ﺗﺮﻯ ﺷﻌﺮﻱ ﺍﻷﺑﻴﺾ؟ ﻛﻠﻪ ﺑﺴﺒﺒﻚ‪ ،‬ﻷﻥ ﺗﺼﺮﻓﺎﺗﻚ ﺳﺘﻮﺩﻱ ﺑﻲ ﺣﺘﻤًﺎ‪ ،‬ﻷﻧﻚ ﺗﺤﻔﺮ ﻗﺒﺮﻱ‬
‫ﺑﻴﺪﻳﻚ!“‬
‫ﻓﻮﺭﺍ؟“‬
‫‪ E‬ﺍﻟﻤﻘﺎﺭﻧﺎﺕ‪” :‬ﺃﻻ ﺗﺴﺘﻄﻴﻊ ﺃﻥ ﺗﻜﻮﻥ ﻣﺜﻞ ﺃﺧﻴﻚ ﻭﺗﺘﻌﻠﻢ ﻣﻨﻪ؟ ﺃﻻ ﺗﺮﻯ ﻣﻬﺎﺭﺍﺗﻪ ﻭﺇﻧﺠﺎﺯﻩ ﻟﻮﺍﺟﺒﺎﺗﻪ ً‬
‫‪ E‬ﺍﻟﺴﺨﺮﻳﺔ ﻭﺍﻻﺳﺘﻬﺰﺍء‪” :‬ﻣﺎ ﻫﺬﺍ ﺍﻟﺬﻱ ﺗﺮﺗﺪﻳﻪ؟ ﻣﻼﺑﺲ ﻣﺰﺧﺮﻓﺔ ﻭﻣﻨﻘﻄﺔ؟ ﺳﻮﻑ ﺗﻠﻔﺖ ﺃﻧﻈﺎﺭ ﺍﻟﺠﻤﻴﻊ ﺍﻟﻴﻮﻡ!“‬
‫‪ E‬ﺍﻟﺘﻮﻗﻌﺎﺕ ﺍﻟﺴﻠﺒﻴﺔ‪” :‬ﻫﺬﻩ ﻫﻲ ﻋﺎﺩﺗﻚ‪ ،‬ﻻ ﺗﻜﻒ ﺃﺑ ًﺪﺍ ﻋﻦ ﺍﻟﺸﻜﻮﻯ ‪ ...‬ﻭﻟﻢ ﺗﺤﺎﻭﻝ ﺃﻥ ﺗﺴﺎﻋﺪ ﻧﻔﺴﻚ ﻳﻮﻣًﺎ‪ .‬ﺃﺗﺨﻴﻠﻚ ﺑﻌﺪ‬
‫ﻋﺸﺮ ﺳﻨﻮﺍﺕ ﻣﻦ ﺍﻵﻥ ﺷﻜﺎء ‪ ..‬ﺑﻜﺎء ‪ ..‬ﺧﻄﺎء‪“.‬‬ ‫‪3‬‬
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 ‫ﺍﻟﺴﻨـــﺔ ﺍﻷﻭﻟﻰ ‪ -‬ﺍﻟـﻌـﺪﺩ ﺍﻟﺮﺍﺑﻊ ‪) -‬ﺃﺑﺮﻳﻞ ‪4 - (2011‬‬ ‫ﻣﺮﺽ ﻟﺠﻤﻴﻊ‬
‫ٍ‬ ‫‪ -3‬ﺗﺒﺎﺩﻟﻮﺍ ﺍﻷﻓﻜﺎﺭ ﺣﺘﻰ ﻳﺘﻢ ﺍﻟﺘﻮﺻﻞ ﺇﻟﻰ ﺣﻞ‬ ‫ﻋﻦ ﻣﻮﺍﺟﻬﺔ ﺳﻮء ﺍﻟﺴﻠﻮﻙ‪ .‬ﻭﻟﻜﻦ ﺇﻥ ﻟﻢ ﻳﻜﻦ ﺍﻟﻌﻘﺎﺏ ﻣﺠﺪﻳًﺎ‪،‬‬
‫ﺍﻷﻃﺮﺍﻑ‪.‬‬ ‫ﻓﻤﺎ ﻫﻲ ﺍﻟﺒﺪﺍﺋﻞ؟‬
‫‪ -4‬ﺩﻭﱢﻥ ﻫﺬﻩ ﺍﻷﻓﻜﺎﺭ ﺩﻭﻥ ﺗﻘﻴﻴﻢ‪.‬‬
‫‪ -5‬ﺍﺧﺘﺮ ﺍﻷﻓﻜﺎﺭ ﺍﻟﺘﻲ ﺗﺤﺒﺬﻫﺎ ﻭﺍﻟﺘﻲ ﻻ ﺗﺤﺒﺬﻫﺎ ﻭﺗﻠﻚ ﺍﻟﺘﻲ‬ ‫‪ -1‬ﺍﻗﺘﺮﺡ ﺑﻌﺾ ﺍﻷﻓﻜﺎﺭ‪” :‬ﻣﺎ ﺭﺃﻳﻚ ﺑﺄﻥ ﺗﺄﺗﻲ ﺑﺜﻼﺙ‬
‫ﺗﻘﺮﺭ ﺍﻟﻌﻤﻞ ً‬
‫ﻭﻓﻘﺎ ﻟﻬﺎ‪.‬‬ ‫ﺣﺒﺎﺕ ﻣﻦ ﺍﻟﻠﻴﻤﻮﻥ ﻟﻨﺎ ﺟﻤﻴﻌًﺎ؟“‬

‫‪ -2‬ﻋﺒﱢﺮ ﻋﻦ ﺍﺳﺘﻴﺎﺋﻚ ﺩﻭﻥ ﺃﻥ ﺗﺠﺮﺡ ﻣﺸﺎﻋﺮﻩ‪” :‬ﻫﺬﺍ‬

‫ﺻﺒﺮﺍ ﻭﺇﻳﻤﺎ ًﻧﺎ ﻗﻮﻳًﺎ ﺑﺄﻫﻤﻴﺔ ﺍﻟﺘﻮﺍﺻﻞ ﻭﺍﻟﺘﻌﺒﻴﺮ‬
‫ً‬ ‫ﻳﺘﻄﻠﺐ ﺍﻷﻣﺮ‬
‫ﺍﻟﻮﺿﻊ ﻏﻴﺮ ﻣﺮﻳﺢ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻹﻃﻼﻕ! ﻓﺎﻟﻤﺘﺴﻮﻗﻮﻥ ﻳﻨﺰﻋﺠﻮﻥ‬
‫ﻋﻦ ﺍﻟﻤﺸﺎﻋﺮ ﺍﻟﺼﺎﺩﻗﺔ ﻣﻊ ﺃﺑﻨﺎﺋﻨﺎ ﻭﺍﻻﺳﺘﻤﺎﻉ ﻟﻤﺸﺎﻋﺮﻫﻢ‬
‫ﻟﺘﺠﻮﻝ ﺍﻷﻃﻔﺎﻝ ﺣﻮﻟﻬﻢ ﻓﻲ ﺟﻤﻴﻊ ﺍﻷﺭﺟﺎء‪“.‬‬
‫ﺣﺘﻰ ﻳﺘﻢ ﺍﻟﺘﻮﺻﻞ ﺇﻟﻰ ﺣﻠﻮﻝ ﻣﻨﺎﺳﺒﺔ ﻟﻜﻼ ﺍﻟﻄﺮﻓﻴﻦ‪ .‬ﻭﻟﻬﺬﺍ‬
‫ﺍﻟﻨﻬﺞ ﺣﻜﻤﺔ ﻗﻮﻳﺔ ﻭﻫﻲ‪” :‬ﻓﻲ ﺣﺎﻟﺔ ﻧﺸﻮﺏ ﺧﻼﻑ ﺑﻴﻦ‬ ‫‪ -3‬ﻋﺒﱢﺮ ﻋﻦ ﺗﻮﻗﻌﺎﺗﻚ‪” :‬ﻛﻨﺖ ﺃﺗﻮﻗﻊ ﻣﻨﻚ ﺃﻥ ﺗﻈﻞ ﺇﻟﻰ‬
‫ﻃﺮﻓﻴﻦ‪ ،‬ﻟﻴﺲ ﺿﺮﻭﺭﻳًﺎ ﺃﻥ ﻳﺘﺤﻮﻝ ﺇﻟﻰ ﺳﺎﺣﺔ ﻣﻌﺮﻛﺔ‬ ‫ﺟﻮﺍﺭﻱ ﻓﻲ ﺃﺛﻨﺎء ﺍﻟﺘﺴﻮﻕ ﺑﺎﻟﻤﺤﺎﻝ ﺍﻟﺘﺠﺎﺭﻳﺔ‪“.‬‬
‫ﻳﺴﺘﺠﻤﻊ ﻓﻴﻬﺎ ﻛﻞ ﻃﺮﻑ ﻗﻮﺍﻩ ﻟﻴﺴﺘﺨﺪﻣﻬﺎ ﺿﺪ ﺍﻵﺧﺮ‬
‫‪ -4‬ﻋﻠﱢﻤﻪ ﻛﻴﻒ ﻳﺼﻠﺢ ﻣﺎ ﺃﻓﺴﺪﻩ‪ :‬ﺗﺴﺎﻋﺪﻩ ﻫﺬﻩ ﺍﻟﻄﺮﻳﻘﺔ‬
‫ﻣﻨﺘﺼﺮﺍ ﻭﻳﻬﺰﻡ ﺍﻵﺧﺮ‪ .‬ﺑﻞ ﻳﻤﻜﻦ ﺗﻮﺣﻴﺪ‬ ‫ً‬ ‫ﻟﻴﺨﺮﺝ‬
‫ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﺳﺘﻌﺎﺩﺓ ﺑﻌﺾ ﺍﻟﻤﺸﺎﻋﺮ ﺍﻹﻳﺠﺎﺑﻴﺔ ﺑﻌﺪ ﺍﻟﺸﻌﻮﺭ ﺑﺎﻟﺬﻧﺐ‪.‬‬
‫ﺍﻟﺠﻬﻮﺩ ﻓﻲ ﺳﺒﻴﻞ ﺍﻟﻮﺻﻮﻝ ﺇﻟﻰ ﺣﻞ ﻳﻠﺒﻲ ﺍﺣﺘﻴﺎﺟﺎﺕ‬
‫ﺍﻟﻄﺮﻓﻴﻦ‪“.‬‬ ‫‪ -5‬ﻗ ﱢﺪﻡ ﺑﻌﺾ ﺍﻻﺧﺘﻴﺎﺭﺍﺕ ﺃﻭ ﺍﻟﺒﺪﺍﺋﻞ‪” :‬ﺍﻟﺠﺮﻱ ﻣﻤﻨﻮﻉ‬
‫ﻫﻨﺎ‪ .‬ﺑﺈﻣﻜﺎﻧﻚ ﺃﻥ ﺗﺘﻤﺸﻰ ﺃﻭ ﺗﻤﻜﺚ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻟﻌﺮﺑﺔ‪ ،‬ﺍﻷﻣﺮ ﻳﺮﺟﻊ‬
‫‪‬‬ ‫ﺇﻟﻴﻚ‪“.‬‬

‫‪ -6‬ﺩﻉ ﺍﻟﻄﻔﻞ ﻳﺘﺤﻤﻞ ﻋﻮﺍﻗﺐ ﺳﻠﻮﻛﻴﺎﺗﻪ‪:‬‬

‫ﻭﻣﺒﺎﺷﺮﺍ ﻓﻲ ﺳﺆﺍﻟﻚ ﻋﻦ ﻣﺸﺎﻋﺮ ﻃﻔﻠﻚ‪،‬‬‫ً‬ ‫ﺻﺮﻳﺤﺎ‬
‫ً‬ ‫‪ E‬ﻻ ﺗﻜﻦ‬
‫ﺍﻟﻄﻔﻞ‪ :‬ﺇﻟﻰ ﺃﻳﻦ ﺃﻧﺖ ﺫﺍﻫﺒﺔ ﻳﺎ ﺃﻣﻲ؟‬
‫ً‬
‫ﺑﻞ ﻋﺒﱢﺮ ﻋﻦ ﻣﺸﺎﻋﺮﻙ ﺑﻄﺮﻳﻘﺔ ﻏﻴﺮ ﻣﺒﺎﺷﺮﺓ‪ ،‬ﻣﺜﻼ ﻗﻞ‪:‬‬
‫ﺍﻷﻡ‪ :‬ﻷﺷﺘﺮﻱ ﺑﻌﺾ ﺍﻷﻏﺮﺍﺽ‪.‬‬
‫”ﺃﺣﺎﻭﻝ ﺟﺎﻫ ًﺪﺍ ﺃﻥ ﺃﻋﺮﻑ ﺣﻘﻴﻘﺔ ﺷﻌﻮﺭﻙ ﺣﻴﺎﻝ ﻫﺬﺍ ﺍﻷﻣﺮ!“‬
‫ﻣﻌﻚ؟‬
‫ﺍﻟﻄﻔﻞ‪ :‬ﻫﻞ ﻳﻤﻜﻨﻨﻲ ﺃﻥ ﺃﺫﻫﺐ ِ‬
‫ﻋﻨﺪﻣﺎ ﻳﺸﻌﺮ ﺍﻟﻄﻔﻞ ﺑﺄﻥ ﻫﻨﺎﻙ ﻣﻦ ﻳﺴﻤﻌﻪ ﻭﻳﻬﺘﻢ ﺑﻤﺸﺎﻋﺮﻩ‬
‫ﺍﻷﻡ‪ :‬ﻟﻴﺲ ﺍﻟﻴﻮﻡ‪.‬‬
‫ﺑﺼﺪﻕ‪ ،‬ﻳﺒﺪﺃ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻟﺘﻌﺒﻴﺮ ﻋﻨﻬﺎ ﺑﺤﺮﻳﺔ‪.‬‬
‫ﺍﻟﻄﻔﻞ‪ :‬ﻭﻟ َﻢ ﺫﻟﻚ؟‬
‫ﻣﺨﺘﺼﺮﺍ ﻭﻣﺤﺪ ًﺩﺍ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻟﺘﻌﺒﻴﺮ ﻋﻦ ﻣﺸﺎﻋﺮﻙ ﺃﻧﺖ‪.‬‬‫ً‬ ‫‪ E‬ﻛﻦ‬
‫ﺍﻷﻡ‪ :‬ﺃﻧﺖ ﺗﻌﻠﻢ ﺍﻟﺴﺒﺐ ﺟﻴ ًﺪﺍ‪.‬‬
‫ﻓﻤﻦ ﺍﻟﺼﻌﺐ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻟﻄﻔﻞ ﺃﻥ ﻳﺘﺤﻤﻞ ﻭﺍﻟﺪﻩ ﻭﺃﻥ ﻳﺼﺒﺮ ﻭﻳﻘﺘﻨﻊ‬
‫ﻛﺜﻴﺮﺍ ﺩﺍﺧﻞ ﺍﻟﻤﺘﺠﺮ؟‬
‫ﺍﻟﻄﻔﻞ‪ :‬ﺃﻷﻧﻲ ﺃﺭﻛﺾ ً‬
‫ﺑﻴﻨﻤﺎ ﺃﺑﻮﻩ ﻳﻄﻴﻞ ﺍﻟﺤﺪﻳﺚ ﻋﻦ ﻫﻤﻮﻣﻪ‪ ،‬ﻭﻏﻀﺒﻪ‪ ،‬ﻭﺍﺳﺘﻴﺎﺋﻪ‪.‬‬
‫ﺍﻷﻡ‪ :‬ﺑﺎﻟﻄﺒﻊ ﻧﻌﻢ!‬
‫ﺃﻭﻻ ﺑﻌﺮﺽ ﺃﻓﻜﺎﺭﻩ ﻭﻣﻘﺘﺮﺣﺎﺗﻪ ﻣﻦ‬ ‫‪ E‬ﺩﻉ ﻃﻔﻠﻚ ﻳﺒﺪﺃ ً‬
‫ﺃﺟﻞ ﺍﻟﻮﺻﻮﻝ ﺇﻟﻰ ﺣﻞ ﻣﺮﺽ‪ .‬ﺍﻷﻫﻢ ﻫﻮ ﺃﻥ ﺗﺤﺠﻢ ﻋﻦ‬
‫ﺇﺫﺍ ﻇﻠﺖ ﺇﺣﺪﻯ ﺍﻟﻤﺸﻜﻼﺕ ﻗﺎﺋﻤﺔ‪ ،‬ﻓﻬﺬﺍ ﻳﻌﻨﻲ ﺑﺎﻟﻀﺮﻭﺭﺓ‬
‫ﺗﻘﻴﻴﻢ ﺃﻓﻜﺎﺭﻩ ﻭﺍﻟﺘﻌﻠﻴﻖ ﻋﻠﻴﻬﺎ‪ .‬ﻛﻤﺎ ﻳﺠﺐ ﺃﻥ ﺗﺪﻋﻮﻩ ﻟﺘﺪﻭﻳﻦ‬
‫ﺃﻧﻬﺎ ﺃﻛﺜﺮ ﺗﻌﻘﻴ ًﺪﺍ ﻣﻤﺎ ﺗﺒﺪﻭ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻟﻈﺎﻫﺮ‪ ،‬ﻭﻣﻦ ﺛﻢ ﺗﺤﺘﺎﺝ ﻫﺬﻩ‬
‫ﺍﻟﻤﻘﺘﺮﺣﺎﺕ ﻭﺍﻷﻓﻜﺎﺭ ﻓﻴﺸﻌﺮ ﺑﻘﻴﻤﺔ ﻣﺸﺎﺭﻛﺘﻪ‪.‬‬
‫ﺍﻟﻤﺸﻜﻼﺕ ﺍﻟﻤﻌﻘﺪﺓ ﻣﻬﺎﺭﺍﺕ ﺃﻛﺜﺮ ﺗﻌﻘﻴ ًﺪﺍ ﻟﺤﻠﻬﺎ‪ ،‬ﻭﻣﻨﻬﺎ‪:‬‬
‫‪ E‬ﺗﻮﺥ ﺍﻟﺤﺬﺭ ﻓﻲ ﺃﺛﻨﺎء ﺍﺧﺘﻴﺎﺭﻙ ﻟﻸﻓﻜﺎﺭ ﺍﻟﺘﻲ ﺗﺮﻭﻕ ﺃﻭ‬
‫ﻻ ﺗﺮﻭﻕ ﻟﻚ‪ ،‬ﻭﺍﻷﻓﻜﺎﺭ ﺍﻟﺘﻲ ﺳﺘﺨﺘﺎﺭ ﺍﻟﻌﻤﻞ ﻭﻓﻘﻬﺎ‪ ،‬ﻓﻼ ﺗﻘﻞ‪:‬‬
‫‪ -1‬ﺗﺤ ﱠﺪﺙ ﻋﻦ ﻣﺸﺎﻋﺮ ﻭﺍﺣﺘﻴﺎﺟﺎﺕ ﻃﻔﻠﻚ‪.‬‬
‫”ﻳﺎ ﻟﻬﺎ ﻣﻦ ﻓﻜﺮﺓ ﺳﺨﻴﻔﺔ“ ﺑﻞ ﻋﺒﱢﺮ ﻋﻦ ﺳﺒﺐ ﺭﻓﻀﻚ ﻓﺘﻘﻮﻝ‪:‬‬
‫‪ -2‬ﺗﺤ ﱠﺪﺙ ﻋﻦ ﻣﺸﺎﻋﺮﻙ ﻭﺍﺣﺘﻴﺎﺟﺎﺗﻚ ﺃﻧﺖ‪.‬‬
‫”ﻻ ﺃﺟﺪ ﻫﺬﻩ ﺍﻟﻔﻜﺮﺓ ﻣﻨﺎﺳﺒﺔ ﻷﻧﻬﺎ‪.“...‬‬

‫‪‬‬
‫ﺧﻼﺻــــﺎﺕ ﻛﺘﺐ ﺍﻟﺘﺮﺑﻴــــﺔ ﻭﺍﻟﺘﻌﻠﻴﻢ‬

‫ﺟﺪﻳﺮﺍ ﺑﺎﻟﺜﻘﺔ‪ :‬ﺇﺫﺍ ﻛﻨﺖ ﺗﻌﺘﻘﺪ ﺃﻧﻪ ﻣﻦ ﺍﻟﺠﻴﺪ ﺍﻟﺘﻈﺎﻫﺮ ﺑﺎﻟﺼﺒﺮ ﻭﺍﻟﻬﺪﻭء ﺃﻣﺎﻡ ﺃﺑﻨﺎﺋﻚ ﻓﻲ ﺃﻗﺼﻰ ﻟﺤﻈﺎﺕ ﻏﻀﺒﻚ‪،‬‬
‫ً‬ ‫‪ -1‬ﻛﻦ‬
‫ﻓﺎﻋﻠﻢ ﺃﻥ ﺫﻟﻚ ﺧﻄﺄ ﺟﺴﻴﻢ! ﻓﻠﻦ ﻳﺆﺩﻱ ﺫﻟﻚ ﺇﻟﻰ ﻓﺸﻞ ﺍﻟﺘﻮﺍﺻﻞ ﻣﻊ ﺃﺑﻨﺎﺋﻚ ﻓﻘﻂ‪ ،‬ﻭﻟﻜﻦ ﺍﻟﻤﺒﺎﻟﻐﺔ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻟﺘﻈﺎﻫﺮ ﺑﺎﻟﻠﻄﻒ ﻭﺍﻟﻬﺪﻭء‬
‫ﺳﻴﺠﻌﻠﻚ ﺗﻔﻘﺪ ﺍﻟﻘﺪﺭﺓ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻟﺘﺤﻜﻢ ﻓﻲ ﺃﻋﺼﺎﺑﻚ ﺫﺍﺕ ﻣﺮﺓ ﻭﻳﻨﻜﺸﻒ ﺃﻣﺮﻙ ﺃﻣﺎﻣﻬﻢ‪.‬‬

‫‪ -2‬ﺍﻟﻔﺸﻞ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻟﻤﺤﺎﻭﻟﺔ ﺍﻷﻭﻟﻰ ﻻ ﻳﻌﻨﻲ ﺑﺎﻟﻀﺮﻭﺭﺓ ﺍﻟﺮﺟﻮﻉ ﺇﻟﻰ ﺍﻟﻄﺮﻕ ﺍﻟﺘﻘﻠﻴﺪﻳﺔ ﺍﻟﻘﺪﻳﻤﺔ‪ :‬ﻻ ﺗﻨﺲ ﺃﻧﻚ ﺗﺘﻤﺘﻊ ﺑﺤﻖ‬
‫ﺍﻟﺘﺼﺮﻑ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻟﻤﻬﺎﺭﺍﺕ ﺍﻟﻤﺘﺎﺣﺔ ﻟﻚ ﻛﻴﻔﻤﺎ ﻭﻭﻗﺘﻤﺎ ﺗﺸﺎء‪ .‬ﻳﻤﻜﻨﻚ ﺃﻥ ﺗﺠﻤﻊ ﺑﻴﻦ ﺃﻛﺜﺮ ﻣﻦ ﻣﻬﺎﺭﺓ ﻟﻤﻀﺎﻋﻔﺔ ﺍﻟﺘﺄﺛﻴﺮ ﻭﺍﻟﻔﻌﺎﻟﻴﺔ‪.‬‬
‫ﺃﻭﻻ‪ ،‬ﺛﻢ ﺍﺭﻓﻊ ﻧﺒﺮﺓ ﺻﻮﺗﻚ‪ ،‬ﺛﻢ ﺩﻭﱢﻥ ﻣﻼﺣﻈﺎﺗﻚ‪.‬‬ ‫ﻋﻠﻰ ﺳﺒﻴﻞ ﺍﻟﻤﺜﺎﻝ‪ :‬ﺍﺩﻣﺞ ﻣﻬﺎﺭﺗﻲ ﺍﻟﺘﻌﺒﻴﺮ ﻋﻦ ﺍﻟﻤﺸﺎﻋﺮ ﻭﺗﻘﺪﻳﻢ ﺍﻟﻤﻌﻠﻮﻣﺎﺕ ً‬

‫‪4‬‬ ‫ﻛﻤﺎ ﻳﻤﻜﻨﻚ ﺃﻥ ﺗﺼﻒ ﻣﺸﺎﻋﺮﻙ ﺍﻟﺴﻠﺒﻴﺔ ﻭﻛﻢ ﻳﺰﻋﺠﻚ ﺃﻥ ﺗﺘﻌﺮﺽ ﻟﻠﺘﺠﺎﻫﻞ ﻭﺍﻹﻫﻤﺎﻝ‪.‬‬

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 ‫‪ -2‬ﺍﺣﺘﺮﻡ ﻣﺤﺎﻭﻻﺗﻪ‪ :‬ﺣﻴﻦ ﻳﺸﻌﺮ ﺍﻟﻄﻔﻞ ﺑﺎﺣﺘﺮﺍﻡ‬ ‫‪ E‬ﻻ ﺗﺪﻉ ﺷﻌﻮﺭﻙ ﺑﺎﻟﺴﻌﺎﺩﺓ ﺍﻟﻤﻔﺮﻃﺔ ﻟﺘﻮﺻﻠﻚ ﺇﻟﻰ ﺣﻞ‬

‫ﺍﻟﺴﻨـــﺔ ﺍﻷﻭﻟﻰ ‪ -‬ﺍﻟـﻌـﺪﺩ ﺍﻟﺮﺍﺑﻊ ‪) -‬ﺃﺑﺮﻳﻞ ‪4 - (2011‬‬

‫ﺍﻵﺧﺮﻳﻦ ﻟﻤﺎ ﻳﻘﻮﻡ ﺑﻪ ﻣﻦ ﻣﺤﺎﻭﻻﺕ‪ ،‬ﻳﻜﻮﻥ ﺫﻟﻚ ﺑﻤﺜﺎﺑﺔ ﺩﻓﻌﺔ‬
‫ﻟﻪ ﻟﻼﺳﺘﻤﺮﺍﺭ ﻭﺍﻟﻤﺜﺎﺑﺮﺓ‪ .‬ﻗﻞ ﻟﻪ‪” :‬ﻳﺘﻄﻠﺐ ﺭﺑﻂ ﺍﻟﺤﺬﺍء ﺟﻬ ًﺪﺍ‬
‫ﻣﻀﻨﻴًﺎ ﻭﻣﻬﺎﺭﺓ ﺑﺎﺭﻋﺔ‪“.‬‬
‫ﻛﺜﻴﺮﺍ‪ :‬ﺍﻷﺳﺌﻠﺔ ﺍﻟﻜﺜﻴﺮﺓ ﻗﺪ ﺗﻌﺘﺒﺮ ً‬
‫ﻧﻮﻋﺎ ﻣﻦ‬ ‫‪ -3‬ﻻ ﺗﺴﺘﻔﺴﺮ ً‬
‫ﺍﻟﺘﺪﺧﻞ ﻓﻲ ﺷﺆﻭﻥ ﺍﻟﺤﻴﺎﺓ ﺍﻟﺨﺎﺻﺔ‪ .‬ﺍﻷﻃﻔﺎﻝ ﺑﻄﺒﻴﻌﺔ ﺍﻟﺤﺎﻝ‬
‫ﻳﺘﺤﺪﺛﻮﻥ ﻋﻤﺎ ﻳﺸﺎﺅﻭﻥ ﻭﻗﺘﻤﺎ ﻳﺸﺎﺅﻭﻥ ﺩﻭﻥ ﺗﺪﺧﻞ ﻣﻦ ﺃﺣﺪ‪.‬‬
‫ﻭﻣﻦ ﺍﻟﻤﻤﻜﻦ ﺃﻥ ﻳﻤﻨﺤﻚ ﻣﺰﻳ ًﺪﺍ ﻣﻦ ﺍﻟﻤﻌﻠﻮﻣﺎﺕ ﺇﻥ ﻟﻢ ﺗﻤﻄﺮﻩ‬
‫ﺑﻮﺍﺑﻞ ﻣﻦ ﺍﻷﺳﺌﻠﺔ‪ .‬ﻓﻲ ﻫﺬﻩ ﺍﻟﺤﺎﻟﺔ ﺗﻜﻮﻥ ﻋﺒﺎﺭﺓ ”ﻣﺮﺣﺒًﺎ‬
‫ﺑﻌﻮﺩﺗﻚ ﺇﻟﻰ ﺍﻟﻤﻨﺰﻝ ﻳﺎ ﻋﺰﻳﺰﻱ“ ﻛﺎﻓﻴﺔ‪ ،‬ﻷﻧﻚ ﺳﺘﺘﺮﻙ ﻟﻪ‬
‫ﺣﺮﻳﺔ ﺍﻟﺤﺪﻳﺚ ﺇﺫﺍ ﺃﺭﺍﺩ ﺃﻥ ﻳﺨﺒﺮﻙ ﺑﺈﻧﺠﺎﺯﺍﺗﻪ ﺍﻟﻴﻮﻣﻴﺔ‪.‬‬
‫ﻫﻢ ﻧﺴﺨﺔ ﻣﺼﻐﺮﺓ ﻣﻨﺎ ﺃﻭ ﻣﺠﺮﺩ ﺍﻣﺘﺪﺍﺩ ﻟﺸﺨﺼﻴﺎﺗﻨﺎ‪ .‬ﻓﻬﻢ‬
‫‪ -4‬ﻻ ﺗﺘﺴﺮﻉ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻹﺟﺎﺑﺔ‪ :‬ﺣﻴﻦ ﻳﺒﺎﺩﺭ ﻃﻔﻠﻚ ﺑﺴﺆﺍﻟﻚ ﻋﻦ‬
‫ﺷﻲء ﻣﺎ‪ ،‬ﺧﺬ ﻓﺮﺻﺘﻚ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻟﺘﻔﻜﻴﺮ ً‬
‫ﺃﻭﻻ‪ .‬ﻻ ﺗﺘﻌﺠﻞ ﺑﺎﻹﺟﺎﺑﺔ‬
‫ﻋﻦ ﺍﻟﺴﺆﺍﻝ ﻣﺒﺎﺷﺮﺓ‪ ،‬ﺑﻞ ﻗﻞ‪” :‬ﻳﺎ ﻟﻪ ﻣﻦ ﺳﺆﺍﻝ ﻣﺸﻮﻕ‪ ،‬ﻣﺎ‬
‫ﺭﺃﻳﻚ ﺃﻧﺖ ﺑﻬﺬﺍ ﺍﻷﻣﺮ؟“‬
‫‪ -5‬ﺷﺠﻌﻬﻢ ﻟﻼﻋﺘﻤﺎﺩ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻣﺼﺎﺩﺭ ﺧﺎﺭﺟﻴﺔ‪ :‬ﻳﻌﺘﻤﺪ‬
‫ﺩﻭﺭﻧﺎ ﻛﺂﺑﺎء ﻋﻠﻰ ﺗﺸﺠﻴﻊ ﺍﻷﺑﻨﺎء ﻛﻲ ﻳﻜﻮﻧﻮﺍ ﺃﻗﻞ ﺍﻋﺘﻤﺎ ًﺩﺍ‬
‫ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻵﺧﺮﻳﻦ ﻭﺫﻟﻚ ﺑﺄﻥ ﻳﺪﺭﻛﻮﺍ ﺃﻥ ﺍﻟﻌﺎﻟﻢ ﺍﻟﺨﺎﺭﺟﻲ – ﺑﻤﺎ‬
‫ﻓﻲ ﺫﻟﻚ ﻣﺘﺠﺮ ﺍﻟﺤﻴﻮﺍﻧﺎﺕ ﺍﻷﻟﻴﻔﺔ‪ ،‬ﺃﻭ ﻃﺒﻴﺐ ﺍﻷﺳﻨﺎﻥ‪ ،‬ﺃﻭ‬
‫ﺍﻟﻤﺪﺭﺳﺔ‪ ،‬ﺃﻭ ﺣﺘﻰ ﺍﻟﻄﻔﻞ ﺍﺑﻦ ﺍﻟﺠﻴﺮﺍﻥ – ﻳﻤﻜﻦ ﺃﻥ ﻳﻤﺜﻞ‬
‫ﻣﺜﻼ‪” :‬ﻟﻢ ﻻ ﻧﺴﺘﺸﻴﺮ‬ ‫ﻋﻮ ًﻧﺎ ﻟﻬﻢ ﻓﻲ ﺣﻞ ﻣﺸﻜﻼﺗﻬﻢ‪ .‬ﻗﻞ ً‬
‫ﻃﺒﻴﺐ ﺍﻷﺳﻨﺎﻥ ﺣﻮﻝ ﻣﻀﻎ ﺍﻟﻌﻠﻜﺔ؟“‬
‫ﻗﺮﺍﺭﺍ ﻣﺼﻴﺮﻳًﺎ ﺑﺨﺼﻮﺹ ﺍﻟﻌﻤﻞ ﺃﻭ‬ ‫ﺃﻥ ﻳﺘﺨﺬ ﺷﺨﺺ ﺑﺎﻟﻎ ً‬
‫‪ -6‬ﻻ ﺗﻔﻘﺪ ﺍﻷﻣﻞ‪ً :‬‬
‫ﺑﺪﻻ ﻣﻦ ﺗﻬﻴﺌﺔ ﺍﻷﺑﻨﺎء ﻟﻤﻮﺍﺟﻬﺔ ﺍﻹﺣﺒﺎﻁ‬
‫ﻣﺴﺒﻘﺎ‪ ،‬ﺩﻋﻬﻢ ﻳﺨﻮﺿﻮﺍ ﺍﻟﺘﺠﺮﺑﺔ ﺑﺄﻧﻔﺴﻬﻢ‪ .‬ﻓﻨﺤﻦ ﺑﺤﻤﺎﻳﺘﻨﺎ‬ ‫ً‬
‫ﺍﻟﻤﺒﺎﻟﻎ ﻓﻴﻬﺎ ﻟﻬﻢ‪ ،‬ﻧُﻔﻘﺪﻫﻢ ﺍﻟﻘﺪﺭﺓ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻟﺘﻤﻨﻲ‪ ،‬ﻭﺍﻟﻤﺜﺎﺑﺮﺓ‪ ،‬ﺑﻞ‬
‫ﻭﺍﻟﻘﺪﺭﺓ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺗﺤﻘﻴﻖ ﺍﻷﺣﻼﻡ‪ .‬ﺗﺤ ﱠﺪﺙ ﺇﻟﻴﻬﻢ‪” :‬ﻫﻞ ﺗﻌﺘﻘﺪﻳﻦ‬
‫ﺣﻘﺎ ﺃﻧﻚ ﺗﺮﻳﺪﻳﻦ ﺍﻟﻌﻤﻞ ﻗﺒﻞ ﺍﺳﺘﻜﻤﺎﻝ ﺩﺭﺍﺳﺘﻚ؟ ﻟﻢ ﻻ ﻧﻨﺎﻗﺶ‬ ‫ً‬
‫ً‬
‫ﺗﻔﺼﻴﻼ؟“‬ ‫ﻫﺬﺍ ﺍﻷﻣﺮ‬
‫ﻋﻤﻠﻲ ﻣﻨﺎﺳﺐ ﻳﻠﻬﻴﻚ ﻋﻦ ﺍﻟﻬﺪﻑ ﺍﻟﺤﻘﻴﻘﻲ ﻭﻫﻮ ﻭﺿﻊ ﺧﻄﺔ‬
‫ﻭﺗﺤﺪﻳﺪ ﺳﻘﻒ ﺯﻣﻨﻲ ﻟﺘﻨﻔﻴﺬﻫﺎ‪.‬‬
‫‪ E‬ﻻ ﺗﺴﻤﺢ ﻟﻄﻔﻠﻚ ﺑﺈﻟﻘﺎء ﺍﻟﻠﻮﻡ ﻋﻠﻴﻚ ﺗﺤﺖ ﺃﻱ ﻇﺮﻑ‪ ،‬ﻓﻤﻦ‬
‫ﺍﻟﻤﻬﻢ ﺃﻥ ﺗﻜﻮﻥ ﺻﺎﺭﻣًﺎ ﻓﻲ ﻫﺬﻩ ﺍﻟﻤﻮﺍﻗﻒ‪.‬‬
‫‪ ‬‬
‫ﺗﺘﻔﻖ ﻛﻞ ﻛﺘﺐ ﺗﺮﺑﻴﺔ ﺍﻷﻃﻔﺎﻝ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻓﻜﺮﺓ ﻭﺍﺣﺪﺓ ﻣﺸﺘﺮﻛﺔ‬
‫ﻭﻫﻲ ﺃﻫﻤﻴﺔ ﺗﺸﺠﻴﻊ ﺍﻷﻃﻔﺎﻝ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻻﺳﺘﻘﻼﻝ ﻭﺍﻻﻧﻔﺼﺎﻝ‬
‫ﻋﻦ ﺍﻵﺑﺎء‪ ،‬ﻭﺗﻜﻮﻳﻦ ﺷﺨﺼﻴﺔ ﺍﺳﺘﻘﻼﻟﻴﺔ ﺗﻤﻜﻨﻬﻢ ﻣﻦ ﺗﺤﻤﻞ‬
‫ﺍﻟﻤﺴﺆﻭﻟﻴﺔ‪ .‬ﺃﻱ ﻳﺠﺐ ﺃﻥ ﻧﺘﺨﻠﻰ ﻋﻦ ﻓﻜﺮﺓ ﺃﻥ ﺍﻷﻃﻔﺎﻝ‬
‫ﻣﺨﻠﻮﻗﺎﺕ ﻓﺮﻳﺪﺓ ﻭﻳﺘﻤﺘﻌﻮﻥ ﺑﺄﺫﻭﺍﻕ‪ ،‬ﻭﻃﺒﺎﻉ‪ ،‬ﻭﻣﺸﺎﻋﺮ‪،‬‬
‫ﻭﺭﻏﺒﺎﺕ‪ ،‬ﻭﺃﺣﻼﻡ ﻣﺨﺘﻠﻔﺔ‪ .‬ﻭﻟﻜﻦ ﻛﻴﻒ ﻳﺘﺴﻨﻰ ﻟﻨﺎ ﺃﻥ ﻧﻘﺪﻡ‬
‫ﻟﻬﻢ ﻳﺪ ﺍﻟﻌﻮﻥ ﻛﻲ ﻳﻨﺎﻟﻮﺍ ﺍﺳﺘﻘﻼﻟﻴﺘﻬﻢ؟ ﺍﻹﺟﺎﺑﺔ ﺑﺒﺴﺎﻃﺔ ﻫﻲ‬
‫ﺃﻥ ﻧﺘﻴﺢ ﻟﻬﻢ ﺍﻟﻔﺮﺻﺔ ﻟﻠﻘﻴﺎﻡ ﺑﺄﻣﻮﺭﻫﻢ ﺍﻟﺨﺎﺻﺔ‪ ،‬ﻭﺍﻻﺟﺘﻬﺎﺩ ﻓﻲ‬
‫ﺣﻞ ﻣﺸﻜﻼﺗﻬﻢ ﺑﺄﻧﻔﺴﻬﻢ‪ ،‬ﻭﺍﻟﺘﻌﻠﻢ ﻣﻦ ﺃﺧﻄﺎﺋﻬﻢ‪.‬‬
‫ﻓﻬﻞ ﻣﻦ ﻭﺳﻴﻠﺔ ﻟﺘﻘﻠﻴﺺ ﺗﺒﻌﻴﺔ ﺍﻷﺑﻨﺎء ﻭﺍﻋﺘﻤﺎﺩﻫﻢ ﻋﻠﻰ‬
‫ﺃﺷﺨﺎﺻﺎ ﻣﺴﺆﻭﻟﻴﻦ‬
‫ً‬ ‫ﺍﻵﺧﺮﻳﻦ؟ ﻫﻞ ﻫﻨﺎﻙ ﻃﺮﻳﻘﺔ ﻟﺠﻌﻠﻬﻢ‬
‫ﻋﻦ ﺃﻓﻌﺎﻟﻬﻢ ﻭﺗﺼﺮﻓﺎﺗﻬﻢ؟ ﻫﺬﻩ ﺑﻌﺾ ﺍﻟﻮﺳﺎﺋﻞ ﺍﻟﺘﻲ ﺗﺸﺠﻊ‬
‫ﺍﻷﺑﻨﺎء ﻋﻠﻰ ﺗﺤﻘﻴﻖ ﺍﺳﺘﻘﻼﻟﻴﺘﻬﻢ‪:‬‬
‫‪ -1‬ﺩﻋﻬﻢ ﻳﺘﺨﺬﻭﻥ ﻗﺮﺍﺭﺍﺗﻬﻢ ﺑﺄﻧﻔﺴﻬﻢ‪ :‬ﻣﻦ ﺍﻟﺼﻌﺐ‬
‫ﺍﻟﺰﻭﺍﺝ ﺃﻭ ﺃﺳﻠﻮﺏ ﺍﻟﺤﻴﺎﺓ ﺑﺸﻜﻞ ﻋﺎﻡ ﺑﻤﻔﺮﺩﻩ ﺇﻥ ﻟﻢ ﻳﻜﻦ‬
‫ﻋﻠﻰ ﻗﺪﺭ ﻭﺍﻑ ﻣﻦ ﺍﻟﺨﺒﺮﺓ ﺍﻟﻤﺴﺒﻘﺔ ﻓﻲ ﻣﻤﺎﺭﺳﺔ ﻗﺪﺭﺗﻪ ﻋﻠﻰ‬
‫ﺍﻟﺤﻜﻢ ﻭﺍﺗﺨﺎﺫ ﺍﻟﻘﺮﺍﺭﺍﺕ‪ .‬ﻓﺈﺫﺍ ﻣﻨﺤﺖ ﻃﻔﻠﻚ ﺍﻟﻤﺴﺎﺣﺔ ﺍﻟﻜﺎﻓﻴﺔ‬
‫ﺗﻮﺗﺮﺍ ﺣﻴﻦ ﻳﻨﻀﺞ‪.‬‬‫ﻟﻴﺘﺨﺬ ﻗﺮﺍﺭﺍﺗﻪ ﺍﻟﺨﺎﺻﺔ‪ ،‬ﺳﻴﺼﺒﺢ ﺃﻗﻞ ً‬
‫ﺍﺳﺄﻟﻪ‪” :‬ﺃﻳﻬﻤﺎ ﺗﻔﻀﻞ ﺃﻥ ﺗﺮﺗﺪﻱ ﺍﻟﻴﻮﻡ‪ ،‬ﺑﻨﻄﺎﻟﻚ ﺍﻟﺮﻣﺎﺩﻱ ﺃﻡ‬
‫ﺍﻷﺣﻤﺮ؟“‬

‫‪‬‬

‫ﺃﺳﻮﺃ ﺍﻟﻠﺤﻈﺎﺕ ﺍﻟﺘﻲ ﺃﻣﺮ ﺑﻬﺎ ﻋﻨﺪﻣﺎ ﺃﻋﻮﺩ ﺇﻟﻰ ﺍﻟﻤﻨﺰﻝ ﺑﻌﺪ ﻳﻮﻡ ﻋﻤﻞ ﺷﺎﻕ ﻭﻃﻮﻳﻞ ﻫﻲ ﺍﻟﻌﺸﺮﻭﻥ ﺩﻗﻴﻘﺔ ﺍﻷﻭﻟﻰ ﺍﻟﺘﻲ ﺃﺑﺪﺃ ﻓﻴﻬﺎ‬
‫ﺧﻼﺻــــﺎﺕ ﻛﺘﺐ ﺍﻟﺘﺮﺑﻴــــﺔ ﻭﺍﻟﺘﻌﻠﻴﻢ‬

‫ﺑﺈﻋﺪﺍﺩ ﺍﻟﻄﻌﺎﻡ ﺑﻴﻨﻤﺎ ﻳﺘﺪﺍﻓﻊ ﺍﻷﺑﻨﺎء ﺑﻴﻦ ﺍﻟﺜﻼﺟﺔ ﻭﺍﻟﻔﺮﻥ ﻭﺃﺩﻭﺍﺕ ﺍﻟﻤﻄﺒﺦ‪ .‬ﻭﺑﻤﺠﺮﺩ ﺃﻥ ﻳﻮﺿﻊ ﺍﻟﻄﻌﺎﻡ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻟﻤﺎﺋﺪﺓ‪ ،‬ﺗﻜﻮﻥ‬
‫ﺷﻬﻴﺘﻬﻢ ﻗﺪ ﺫﻫﺒﺖ ﺑﻼ ﺭﺟﻌﺔ! ﻭﻗﺪ ﻫﺪﺍﻧﻲ ﻋﻘﻠﻲ ﺇﻟﻰ ﻓﻜﺮﺓ ﻭﻗﺮﺭﺕ ﺃﻥ ﺃﺟﺮﺑﻬﺎ ﻓﻮﺿﻌﺖ ﻻﻓﺘﺔ ﻣﻠﻮﻧﺔ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺑﺎﺏ ﺍﻟﻤﻄﺒﺦ ﺗﻘﻮﻝ‪:‬‬
‫”ﻣﻐﻠﻖ ﺣﺘﻰ ﻣﻮﻋﺪ ﺍﻟﻐﺪﺍء!“‬

‫ﺃﺭﺍﺩ ﻃﻔﻠﻲ ﺫﻭ ﺍﻷﺭﺑﻌﺔ ﺃﻋﻮﺍﻡ ﺃﻥ ﻳﻌﺮﻑ ﻣﺎ ﻫﻮ ﻣﺪﻭﻥ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻟﻼﻓﺘﺔ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻟﺤﺎﻝ‪ .‬ﻗﻤﺖ ﺑﺸﺮﺡ ﻣﻌﻨﻰ ﻛﻞ ﻛﻠﻤﺔ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺣﺪﺓ‪ ،‬ﻓﻜﺎﻧﺖ‬
‫ﺍﻟﻨﺘﻴﺠﺔ ﺃﻧﻪ ﺃﺻﺒﺢ ﺷﺪﻳﺪ ﺍﻻﻟﺘﺰﺍﻡ ﺑﻬﺬﻩ ﺍﻟﻘﺎﻋﺪﺓ ﺣﺘﻰ ﺃﻥ ﻗﺪﻣﻴﻪ ﻟﻢ ﺗﻄﺂ ﺃﺭﺽ ﺍﻟﻤﻄﺒﺦ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻟﻤﻮﺍﻋﻴﺪ ﺍﻟﻤﺤﻈﻮﺭﺓ ﻣﻨﺬ ﺫﻟﻚ ﺍﻟﺤﻴﻦ!‬
‫ﺑﻞ ﺑﺪﺃ ﻳﻠﻌﺐ ﻭﻳﻠﻬﻮ ﻣﻊ ﺷﻘﻴﻘﺘﻪ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻟﺤﺪﻳﻘﺔ ﺣﺘﻰ ﻳﺤﻴﻦ ﻣﻮﻋﺪ ﺍﻟﻐﺪﺍء ﻭﺃﻧﺰﻉ ﺍﻟﻼﻓﺘﺔ ﻭﻳُﺴﻤﺢ ﻟﻬﻤﺎ ﺑﺎﻟﺪﺧﻮﻝ‪ .‬ﻓﻲ ﺍﻟﻴﻮﻡ ﺍﻟﺘﺎﻟﻲ‬
‫ﻭﺿﻌﺖ ﺍﻟﻼﻓﺘﺔ ﻣﺮﺓ ﺃﺧﺮﻯ ﺑﻴﻨﻤﺎ ﻛﻨﺖ ﺃﻋﺪ ﺷﻄﺎﺋﺮ ﺍﻟﻠﺤﻢ ﻭﺇﺫﺍ ﺑﻲ ﺃﺳﻤﻊ ﻃﻔﻠﻲ ﻳُﻌﻠﻢ ﺃﺧﺘﻪ ﺫﺍﺕ ﺍﻟﺮﺑﻴﻌﻴﻦ ﻣﺎ ﻫﻮ ﻣﺪﻭﻥ ﻋﻠﻰ‬
‫ﺍﻟﻼﻓﺘﺔ ﻭﻫﻲ ﺗﺮﺩﺩ ﺧﻠﻔﻪ ”ﻣﻐﻠﻖ‪ ...‬ﺣﺘﻰ‪ ...‬ﻣﻮﻋﺪ‪ ...‬ﺍﻟﻐﺪﺍء‪“.‬‬ ‫‪5‬‬
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 ‫ﺍﻟﺴﻨـــﺔ ﺍﻷﻭﻟﻰ ‪ -‬ﺍﻟـﻌـﺪﺩ ﺍﻟﺮﺍﺑﻊ ‪) -‬ﺃﺑﺮﻳﻞ ‪4 - (2011‬‬ ‫‪ ‬‬
‫ﻓﻌﻠﻰ ﺍﻟﺮﻏﻢ ﻣﻦ ﺍﻗﺘﻨﺎﻋﻨﺎ ﺑﺄﻫﻤﻴﺔ ﺗﺤﻘﻴﻘﻬﺎ ﻟﻸﻃﻔﺎﻝ‪ ،‬ﻓﺈﻥ ﻫﻨﺎﻙ‬
‫ﻳﻌﺎﻧﻲ ﺑﻌﺾ ﺍﻷﻃﻔﺎﻝ ﻣﻦ ﻗﺪﺭ ﻻ ﻳﺴﺘﻬﺎﻥ ﺑﻪ ﻣﻦ ﺍﻻﺳﺘﺨﻔﺎﻑ‬
‫ﺩﺍﺧﻞ ﺍﻟﻤﻨﺰﻝ‪ ،‬ﻭﻣﻊ ﺫﻟﻚ ﻓﻬﻢ ﻳﺘﻤﺘﻌﻮﻥ ﺑﻘﺪﺭﺓ ﻓﺎﺋﻘﺔ ﻋﻠﻰ‬
‫ﺍﻟﺘﺼﺪﻱ ﻟﻠﺘﺤﺪﻳﺎﺕ ﺍﻟﺨﺎﺭﺟﻴﺔ ﺑﻜﻞ ﺃﺷﻜﺎﻟﻬﺎ‪ .‬ﺑﻴﻨﻤﺎ ﻳﻨﺎﻝ‬
‫ﺍﻟﺒﻌﺾ ﺍﻵﺧﺮ ﻛﻞ ﺍﻻﺣﺘﺮﺍﻡ ﻭﺍﻟﺘﻘﺪﻳﺮ ﺩﺍﺧﻞ ﺍﻟﻤﻨﺰﻝ‪ ،‬ﻭﻣﻊ‬
‫ﺫﻟﻚ ﻓﻬﻢ ﻳﻔﺘﻘﺮﻭﻥ ﺇﻟﻰ ﺍﻟﺜﻘﺔ ﺑﺎﻟﻨﻔﺲ ﻭﻳﻬﺎﺑﻮﻥ ﺍﻟﺘﺤﺪﻱ‪ .‬ﻫﺆﻻء‬
‫ﺍﻟﺬﻳﻦ ﻳﺘﺮﻋﺮﻋﻮﻥ ﻓﻲ ﺑﻴﺌﺎﺕ ﺗُﻘﺪﺭ ﺟﻬﻮﺩﻫﻢ ﻳﺘﻤﺘﻌﻮﻥ ﺑﺎﻟﺮﺿﺎ‬
‫ﻋﻦ ﺍﻟﻨﻔﺲ‪ ،‬ﻭﺑﻘﺪﺭﺓ ﺃﻛﺒﺮ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻣﻮﺍﺟﻬﺔ ﺍﻟﺘﺤﺪﻳﺎﺕ ﻭﺗﺤﺪﻳﺪ‬
‫ﺍﻷﻫﺪﺍﻑ ﺍﻷﺳﻤﻰ ﻭﺭﺳﻢ ﺧﺎﺭﻃﺔ ﻃﺮﻳﻖ ﻟﻤﺴﺘﻘﺒﻞ ﺃﻓﻀﻞ‪.‬‬
‫ﻗﺪ ﺗﺘﺴﻢ ﻋﻤﻠﻴﺔ ﺍﻟﺘﺸﺠﻴﻊ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻻﺳﺘﻘﻼﻟﻴﺔ ﺑﺎﻟﺘﻌﻘﻴﺪ ﺃﺣﻴﺎ ًﻧﺎ‪.‬‬
‫ﺑﻌﺾ ﺍﻟﻌﻮﺍﻣﻞ ﺍﻟﺪﺍﺧﻠﻴﺔ ﺍﻟﺘﻲ ﺗﻌﺘﺮﺽ ﻃﺮﻳﻖ ﺍﻻﺳﺘﻘﻼﻟﻴﺔ‪:‬‬
‫ﻧﻈﺮﺍ ﺇﻟﻰ ﺇﻳﻘﺎﻉ ﺍﻟﺤﻴﺎﺓ‬
‫ً‬ ‫‪ -1‬ﺗﺤﻘﻴﻖ ﺍﻟﺮﺍﺣﺔ ﺍﻟﻤﻄﻠﻘﺔ‪:‬‬
‫ﻓﻜﺜﻴﺮﺍ ﻣﺎ ﻧﺠﺪ ﺃﻧﻔﺴﻨﺎ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻋﺠﻠﺔ ﻣﻦ ﺃﻣﺮﻧﺎ‪.‬‬‫ً‬ ‫ﺍﻟﺴﺮﻳﻊ‪،‬‬
‫ﻭﺑﺎﻟﺘﺎﻟﻲ ﻓﻨﺤﻦ ﻣﻦ ﻧﻮﻗﻆ ﺍﻷﻃﻔﺎﻝ ﻣﻦ ﻧﻮﻣﻬﻢ‪ ،‬ﻭﻧﻐﻠﻖ ﻟﻬﻢ‬
‫ﺃﺯﺭﺍﺭ ﻣﻼﺑﺴﻬﻢ‪ ،‬ﻭﻧُﻤﻠﻲ ﻋﻠﻴﻬﻢ ﻣﺎ ﻳﺄﻛﻠﻮﻧﻪ ﻭﻣﺎ ﻳﺮﺗﺪﻭﻧﻪ‪،‬‬
‫ﻷﻧﻨﺎ ﻧﻘﻮﻡ ﺑﻬﺬﻩ ﺍﻷﻣﻮﺭ ﺑﺸﻜﻞ ﺃﺳﺮﻉ ﻭﺃﻓﻀﻞ ﻣﻨﻬﻢ‪.‬‬

‫‪ -2‬ﺍﻟﺤﻔﺎﻅ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻟﺘﺮﺍﺑﻂ‪ :‬ﻳﺠﺐ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻵﺑﺎء ﺃﻥ ﻳﺒﺬﻟﻮﺍ‬

‫ﺍﻟﺴﺆﺍﻝ ﻫﻨﺎ‪ :‬ﺇﺫﺍ ﻛﺎﻧﺖ ﺍﻟﺜﻘﺔ ﺑﺎﻟﻨﻔﺲ ﻭﺍﺣﺘﺮﺍﻡ ﺍﻟﺬﺍﺕ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻫﺬﺍ‬
‫ﻗﺼﺎﺭﻯ ﺟﻬﺪﻫﻢ ﻟﻠﺘﺨﻠﺺ ﻣﻦ ﻋﻘﺪﺓ ﺍﻋﺘﺒﺎﺭ ﻓﺸﻞ ﺃﺑﻨﺎﺋﻬﻢ ً‬
‫ﻧﻮﻋﺎ‬
‫ﺍﻟﻘﺪﺭ ﻣﻦ ﺍﻷﻫﻤﻴﺔ‪ ،‬ﻓﻤﺎ ﻫﻮ ﺍﻟﺪﻭﺭ ﺍﻟﺬﻱ ﻳﻤﻜﻦ ﺃﻥ ﻳﻠﻌﺒﻪ ﺍﻵﺑﺎء‬
‫ﻟﺘﻌﺰﻳﺰ ﻫﺬﻩ ﺍﻟﺨﺼﺎﻝ ﻭﺻﻘﻠﻬﺎ؟ ﻣﺎ ﺳﺒﻖ ﺫﻛﺮﻩ ﻣﻦ ﻣﻬﺎﺭﺍﺕ‬ ‫ﻣﻦ ﺍﻟﻔﺸﻞ ﺍﻟﺸﺨﺼﻲ‪ .‬ﻓﻤﻦ ﺍﻟﺼﻌﺐ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻹﻧﺴﺎﻥ ﺃﻥ ﻳﺮﻯ‬
‫ﻭﻣﺒﺎﺩﺉ ﻛﻔﻴﻞ ﺑﺄﻥ ﻳﻨﻤﻲ ﻟﺪﻯ ﺍﻟﻄﻔﻞ ﺍﻟﺸﻌﻮﺭ ﺑﺎﻟﺠﺪﺍﺭﺓ‬ ‫ﺍﻟﻤﻘﺮﺑﻴﻦ ﻣﻨﻪ ﻳﺼﺎﺭﻋﻮﻥ ﻭﻳﻔﺸﻠﻮﻥ ﻭﻳﻘﻒ ﻣﻜﺘﻮﻑ ﺍﻷﻳﺪﻱ‬
‫ﻭﺍﻻﺳﺘﺤﻘﺎﻕ‪ .‬ﻓﻜﻠﻤﺎ ﺷﻌﺮ ﺍﻟﻄﻔﻞ ﺑﺎﺣﺘﺮﺍﻣﻨﺎ ﻟﻤﺸﺎﻋﺮﻩ‬ ‫ﺩﻭﻥ ﺃﻥ ﻳﻘﺪﻡ ﻟﻬﻢ ﺑﻌﺾ ﺍﻟﻨﺼﺎﺋﺢ ﺍﻟﺘﻲ ﺗﺤﻤﻴﻬﻢ ﻣﻦ ﺍﻟﻔﺸﻞ‬
‫ﻭﺗﻘﺪﻳﺮﻫﺎ‪ ،‬ﻧﻜﻮﻥ ﻗﺪ ﻣﻨﺤﻨﺎﻩ ﻓﺮﺻﺔ ﻟﻠﻤﻔﺎﺿﻠﺔ ﻭﺍﻻﺧﺘﻴﺎﺭ‬ ‫ﻭﺍﻹﺣﺒﺎﻁ‪.‬‬
‫ﺍﻟﺴﻠﻴﻢ‪ ،‬ﻭﻓﺮﺻﺔ ﻟﺤﻞ ﻣﺸﻜﻼﺗﻪ‪ ،‬ﻭﻓﺮﺻﺔ ﻟﻨﺸﺄﺓ ﻗﺎﺋﻤﺔ ﻋﻠﻰ‬
‫ﺍﻟﺜﻘﺔ ﻭﺍﻻﻋﺘﺰﺍﺯ ﺑﺎﻟﻨﻔﺲ‪.‬‬ ‫ﺻﺒﺮﺍ‬
‫ً‬ ‫‪ -3‬ﺍﻟﺘﺤﻜﻢ ﻭﺍﻟﺠﻬﺪ ﺍﻟﻤﻀﻨﻲ‪ :‬ﻳﺘﻄﻠﺐ ﺍﻷﻣﺮ‬
‫ﻭﺟﻬ ًﺪﺍ ﻣﻀﻨﻴًﺎ ﻣﻦ ﺟﺎﻧﺐ ﺍﻵﺑﺎء ﻟﻴﻤﺘﻨﻌﻮﺍ ﻣﻦ ﺗﻘﺪﻳﻢ ﺍﻟﻨﺼﺎﺋﺢ‬
‫ﻓﻬﻞ ﺛﻤﺔ ﻃﺮﻳﻘﺔ ﺃﺧﺮﻯ ﺗﺴﺎﻋﺪ ﻓﻲ ﺭﺳﻢ ﺻﻮﺭﺓ ﺇﻳﺠﺎﺑﻴﺔ ﻟﺪﻯ‬ ‫ً‬
‫ﻭﻣﻌﺮﻭﻓﺎ ﻟﻬﻢ‪.‬‬ ‫ﻭﺍﺿﺤﺎ‬
‫ً‬ ‫ﻣﺒﺎﺷﺮﺓ‪ ،‬ﻭﺧﺎﺻﺔ ﻋﻨﺪﻣﺎ ﻳﻜﻮﻥ ﺍﻟﺤﻞ‬
‫ﺍﻷﻃﻔﺎﻝ ﻋﻦ ﺃﻧﻔﺴﻬﻢ؟ ﺍﻹﺟﺎﺑﺔ ﻫﻲ‪ :‬ﻧﻌﻢ‪ .‬ﺍﻟﻤﺪﺡ ﻭﺍﻹﺷﺎﺩﺓ‬ ‫ﺍﻵﺑﺎء ﻳﺘﺤﻤﻠﻮﻥ ﻋﻨﺎء ﺗﺮﺑﻴﺔ ﺍﻷﺑﻨﺎء ﺑﺤﻠﻮﻫﺎ ﻭﻣﺮﻫﺎ‪ .‬ﺗﻠﻚ‬
‫ﻣﻦ ﺃﻫﻢ ﺍﻟﻮﺳﺎﺋﻞ ﺍﻟﺘﻲ ﺗﺴﺎﻋﺪ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻫﺬﺍ‪ .‬ﻟﻜﻦ ﺍﻟﻤﺪﺡ ﺳﻼﺡ‬ ‫ﺍﻟﺮﺣﻠﺔ ﺍﻟﺘﻲ ﺗﺒﺪﺃ ﺑﺎﻻﻟﺘﺰﺍﻡ ﺍﻟﻜﺎﻣﻞ ﻭﺗﺤﻤﻞ ﺍﻟﻤﺴﺆﻭﻟﻴﺔ ﺗﺠﺎﻩ‬
‫ﺫﻭ ﺣﺪﻳﻦ‪ ،‬ﻓﻤﻦ ﺍﻟﻤﻤﻜﻦ ﺃﻥ ﺗﻨﺠﻢ ﻋﻨﻪ ﺭﺩﻭﺩ ﺃﻓﻌﺎﻝ ﻏﻴﺮ‬ ‫ﻛﺎﺋﻦ ﺻﻐﻴﺮ ﻻ ﺣﻮﻝ ﻟﻪ ﻭﻻ ﻗﻮﺓ‪ ،‬ﻭﺑﻤﺮﻭﺭ ﺍﻟﺴﻨﻮﺍﺕ ﺗﺘﺤﻮﻝ‬
‫ﻣﺘﻮﻗﻌﺔ! ﻭﺍﻟﺤﻞ ﻫﻮ ﺃﻥ ﺗﺼﻒ ﻭﻻ ﺗﻘﻴﱢﻢ‪:‬‬ ‫ﺇﻟﻰ ﻣﺎ ﻫﻮ ﺃﺳﻮﺃ ﻣﻦ ﺫﻟﻚ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻟﻘﻠﻖ‪ ،‬ﻭﺍﻟﺘﺨﻄﻴﻂ‪ ،‬ﻭﺗﻮﻓﻴﺮ‬
‫ﺳﺒﻞ ﺍﻟﺮﺍﺣﺔ ﻭﺍﻟﺘﻔﺎﻫﻢ‪ .‬ﺛﻢ ﻳﺒﺪﺃ ﺍﻵﺑﺎء ﻓﻲ ﻣﻨﺢ ﺃﺑﻨﺎﺋﻬﻢ ﻛﻞ ﻣﺎ‬
‫ﺻﻒ ﻣﺎ ﺗﺮﺍﻩ ﻭﻣﺎ ﺗﺸﻌﺮ ﺑﻪ‬‫‪ِ -1‬‬
‫ﻳﻤﻠﻜﻮﻥ ﻣﻦ ﻋﺎﻃﻔﺔ‪ ،‬ﻭﺟﻬﺪ‪ ،‬ﻭﻣﻌﺮﻓﺔ‪ ،‬ﻭﺧﺒﺮﺓ ﺑﺤﻴﺚ ﺗﻨﻤﻮ‬
‫ﻭﺳﺮﻳﺮﺍ ﻣﻤﻬ ًﺪﺍ‪،‬‬
‫ً‬ ‫ﺍﻟﺮﺅﻳﺔ‪” :‬ﻫﺎ ﺃﻧﺎ ﺃﺭﻯ ﺃﺭﺿﻴﺔ ﻧﻈﻴﻔﺔ‪،‬‬
‫ﻟﺪﻳﻬﻢ ﺍﻟﻘﻮﺓ ﻭﺍﻟﺸﺠﺎﻋﺔ ﺍﻟﺘﻲ ﺗﻤﻜﻨﻬﻢ ﻣﻦ ﺍﻻﺳﺘﻐﻨﺎء ﻋﻨﻬﻢ ﻓﻲ‬
‫ﻭﻛﺘﺒًﺎ ﻣﻨﻈﻤﺔ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻷﺭﻓﻒ‪“.‬‬
‫ﺍﻟﺸﻌﻮﺭ‪” :‬ﻛﻢ ﻳﺴﻌﺪﻧﻲ ً‬ ‫ﻳﻮﻡ ﻣﻦ ﺍﻷﻳﺎﻡ‪.‬‬
‫ﺣﻘﺎ ﺃﻥ ﺃﺗﺠﻮﻝ ﻓﻲ ﻫﺬﻩ ﺍﻟﻐﺮﻓﺔ‪“.‬‬

‫‪‬‬

‫‪ E‬ﺇﺫﺍ ﻗﺎﻡ ﻃﻔﻞ ﺻﻐﻴﺮ ﻻ ﻳﺴﺘﻄﻴﻊ ﺍﻟﺘﺤﺪﺙ ﺑﻌﺪ ﺑﻠﻤﺲ ﺷﻲء ﻣﺤﻈﻮﺭ‪ ،‬ﻓﻬﻞ ﺃﺻﻔﻌﻪ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻳﺪﻩ ﺑﺸﻜﻞ ﺧﻔﻴﻒ؟‬
‫ﻋﺪﻡ ﻗﺪﺭﺓ ﺍﻟﻄﻔﻞ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻟﺘﺤﺪﺙ ﻻ ﻳﻌﻨﻲ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻹﻃﻼﻕ ﻋﺪﻡ ﻗﺪﺭﺗﻪ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻟﻔﻬﻢ ﻭﺍﻻﺳﺘﻴﻌﺎﺏ‪ .‬ﺍﻷﻃﻔﺎﻝ ﻳﺘﻌﻠﻤﻮﻥ ﻓﻲ ﻛﻞ ﺩﻗﻴﻘﺔ‬
‫ﺗﻤﺮ ﺑﺤﻴﺎﺗﻬﻢ‪ ،‬ﻭﻟﻜﻦ ﺍﻟﺴﺆﺍﻝ ﻫﻮ ”ﻣﺎﺫﺍ ﻳﺘﻌﻠﻤﻮﻥ؟“‪ .‬ﻭﻫﻨﺎ ﻳﻜﻮﻥ ﺃﻣﺎﻡ ﺍﻵﺑﺎء ﺃﻛﺜﺮ ﻣﻦ ﺧﻴﺎﺭ‪ :‬ﺇﻣﺎ ﺃﻥ ﻳﺼﻔﻌﻮﻩ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻳﺪﻩ ﺃﻛﺜﺮ ﻣﻦ‬
‫ﺧﻼﺻــــﺎﺕ ﻛﺘﺐ ﺍﻟﺘﺮﺑﻴــــﺔ ﻭﺍﻟﺘﻌﻠﻴﻢ‬

‫ﺻﻐﻴﺮﺍ ﻟﻪ ﻫﻮﻳﺘﻪ ﻭﺷﺨﺼﻴﺘﻪ ﻳﻌﻄﻮﻩ ﺍﻟﻤﻌﻠﻮﻣﺎﺕ‬

‫ً‬ ‫ﻣﺮﺓ ﻟﻴﺘﻌﻠﻢ ﺃﻥ ﺍﻟﺼﻔﻊ ﻫﻮ ﺍﻟﻮﺳﻴﻠﺔ ﺍﻟﻮﺣﻴﺪﺓ ﻟﻠﺘﻌﻠﻢ‪ ،‬ﺃﻭ ﻳﻌﺎﻣﻠﻮﻩ ﺑﺎﻋﺘﺒﺎﺭﻩ ﻛﺎﺋ ًﻨﺎ‬
‫ﻭﺍﻹﺭﺷﺎﺩﺍﺕ ﺍﻟﺘﻲ ﻳﻤﻜﻨﻪ ﺍﻟﺘﻌﻠﻢ ﻣﻨﻬﺎ ﺍﻵﻥ‪ ،‬ﻭﻃﻮﺍﻝ ﺣﻴﺎﺗﻪ‪ .‬ﻳﻤﻜﻨﻬﻢ ﺃﻥ ﻳﺨﺒﺮﻭﻩ ﺑﻨﺒﺮﺓ ﺻﺎﺭﻣﺔ ﺑﻴﻨﻤﺎ ﻳﺒﻌﺪﻭﻥ ﺍﻟﻄﻔﻞ – ﺃﻭ‬
‫ﺑﺪﻻ ﻣﻨﻬﺎ ﺇﺫﺍ ﺃﺭﺩﺕ“ ﺃﻭ ”ﻫﺬﻩ ﺍﻟﺪﻣﻴﺔ ﺍﻟﻤﺼﻨﻮﻋﺔ ﻣﻦ ﺍﻟﺨﺰﻑ ﻳﻤﻜﻦ‬ ‫ﺍﻷﺩﺍﺓ – ”ﺍﻟﺴﻜﺎﻛﻴﻦ ﻟﻴﺴﺖ ﺃﺩﺍﺓ ﻟﻠﱠﻌﺐ‪ ،‬ﺍﺳﺘﺨﺪﻡ ﺍﻟﻤﻠﻌﻘﺔ ً‬
‫ﺑﺪﻻ ﻣﻨﻬﺎ‪ “.‬ﺭﺑﻤﺎ ﺗﺤﺘﺎﺝ ﺇﻟﻰ ﺗﻜﺮﺍﺭ ﺍﻟﻤﻌﻠﻮﻣﺔ ﺃﻛﺜﺮ ﻣﻦ ﻣﺮﺓ‪ ،‬ﻷﻥ ﺗﻜﺮﺍﺭ ﺍﻟﺘﻌﻠﻴﻢ ﻭﺍﻟﺤﻮﺍﺭ‬ ‫ﺃﻥ ﺗﻨﻜﺴﺮ‪ ،‬ﺍﻟﻌﺐ ﺑﺪﻣﻴﺘﻚ ﺍﻟﻤﻄﺎﻃﻴﺔ ً‬
‫ﺃﻓﻀﻞ ﺑﻜﺜﻴﺮ ﻣﻦ ﺗﻜﺮﺍﺭ ﺍﻟﺼﻔﻊ!‬

‫‪ E‬ﻣﺎ ﺍﻟﻔﺮﻕ ﺑﻴﻦ ﺍﻟﻌﻘﺎﺏ ﻭﺍﻟﺤﺮﻣﺎﻥ ﺍﻟﻄﺒﻴﻌﻲ؟ ﺃﻟﻴﺴﺎ ﻣﺴﻤﻴﻴﻦ ﻣﺨﺘﻠﻔﻴﻦ ﻟﻤﻌﻨﻰ ﻭﺍﺣﺪ؟‬
‫ﺩﺭﺳﺎ‪ .‬ﺃﻣﺎ ﺍﻟﻨﺘﺎﺋﺞ ﺍﻟﻄﺒﻴﻌﻴﺔ‬
‫ﺍﻟﻌﻘﺎﺏ ﻫﻮ ﺗﻌﻤﺪ ﺍﻵﺑﺎء ﺣﺮﻣﺎﻥ ﺍﻷﺑﻨﺎء ﻣﻦ ﺷﻲء ﻣﺎ ﻟﻔﺘﺮﺓ ﺯﻣﻨﻴﺔ ﻣﺤﺪﺩﺓ ﺑﻬﺪﻑ ﺇﻳﻼﻣﻪ ﺃﻭ ﺗﻠﻘﻴﻨﻪ ً‬
‫‪6‬‬ ‫ﺍﻟﻤﺘﺮﺗﺒﺔ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺗﺼﺮﻑ ﺍﻟﻄﻔﻞ ﺍﻟﻤﺸﻴﻦ ﻓﻬﻲ ﻣﺎ ﺳﻴﻨﺘﺞ ﻋﻦ ﺫﻟﻚ ﺍﻟﺘﺼﺮﻑ ﻓﻲ ﻛﻞ ﺍﻷﺣﻮﺍﻝ ﺳﻮﺍء ﺗﺪﺧﻞ ﺍﻟﻮﺍﻟﺪﺍﻥ ﺃﻡ ﻻ‪.‬‬
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 ‫ﻭﺍﻟﺪﻳﻚ ﺗﺠﺎﻫﻚ ﻓﻲ ﺛﻮﺍﻥ ﻣﻌﺪﻭﺩﺍﺕ‪ .‬ﻭﻣﻦ ﺧﻼﻝ ﻣﻀﺎﻋﻔﺔ‬ ‫‪ -2‬ﺍﻣﺪﺡ ﺗﺼﺮﻓﺎﺗﻪ ﺍﻟﺠﺪﻳﺮﺓ ﺑﺎﻟﺜﻨﺎء ﻭﻟﻮ ﺑﻜﻠﻤﺔ‬

‫ﺍﻟﺴﻨـــﺔ ﺍﻷﻭﻟﻰ ‪ -‬ﺍﻟـﻌـﺪﺩ ﺍﻟﺮﺍﺑﻊ ‪) -‬ﺃﺑﺮﻳﻞ ‪4 - (2011‬‬

‫ﺗﻠﻚ ﺍﻟﺜﻮﺍﻧﻲ ﺍﻟﻤﻌﺪﻭﺩﺓ ﺇﻟﻰ ﺳﺎﻋﺎﺕ ﻃﻮﻳﻠﺔ ﻣﻦ ﺍﻟﺘﻮﺍﺻﻞ ﻋﻠﻰ‬
‫ﻣﺪﺍﺭ ﺍﻟﻴﻮﻡ ﺑﻴﻦ ﺍﻵﺑﺎء ﻭﺍﻷﺑﻨﺎء‪ ،‬ﻧﻌﺮﻑ ﻣﺪﻯ ﺗﺄﺛﺮ ﺍﻷﺑﻨﺎء‬
‫ﺑﺎﻟﻄﺮﻳﻘﺔ ﺍﻟﺘﻲ ﻳﺮﺍﻫﻢ ﺑﻬﺎ ﺁﺑﺎﺅﻫﻢ‪ ،‬ﻭﻻ ﻳﻘﺘﺼﺮ ﻫﺬﺍ ﺍﻟﺘﺄﺛﻴﺮ‬
‫ﻋﻠﻰ ﻣﺸﺎﻋﺮﻫﻢ ﻓﻘﻂ‪ ،‬ﺑﻞ ﻳﻤﺘﺪ ﻟﻴﺸﻤﻞ ﺗﺼﺮﻓﺎﺗﻬﻢ ﻭﺳﻠﻮﻛﻴﺎﺗﻬﻢ‬
‫ﺃﻳﻀﺎ‪ .‬ﻫﺬﻩ ﺍﻟﻨﺼﺎﺋﺢ ﺗﺨﻮﻟﻚ ﻣﻦ ﺗﺤﺮﻳﺮ ﺃﻃﻔﺎﻟﻚ ﻣﻦ ﻟﻌﺐ‬ ‫ً‬
‫ﺍﻷﺩﻭﺍﺭ ﺍﻟﺜﺎﺑﺘﺔ‪:‬‬
‫”ﻟﻘﺪ ﺭﺗﺒﺖ ﺃﻗﻼﻡ ﺍﻟﺮﺻﺎﺹ‪ ،‬ﻭﺃﻗﻼﻡ ﺍﻟﺘﻠﻮﻳﻦ‪ ،‬ﻭﺃﻗﻼﻣﻚ ﺍﻟﺤﺒﺮ‬
‫ﻛﻞ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺣﺪﺓ‪ ،‬ﻫﺬﺍ ً‬
‫ﺣﻘﺎ ﻫﻮ ﺟﻮﻫﺮ ﺍﻟﺘﻨﻈﻴﻢ‪“.‬‬
‫ﺍﻟﻠﺤﻈﺎﺕ ﺍﻟﻘﻠﻴﻠﺔ ﺍﻟﺘﻲ ﺗﻌﺒﺮ ﻓﻴﻬﺎ ﻋﻦ ﺍﻣﺘﻨﺎﻧﻚ ﻭﺗﻘﺪﻳﺮﻙ‬
‫ﻹﻧﺠﺎﺯﺍﺕ ﻃﻔﻠﻚ ﻫﻲ ﺍﻟﺪﺭﻉ ﺍﻟﻮﺍﻗﻲ ﺍﻟﺬﻱ ﻳﻘﻴﻪ ﻣﻦ ﺍﻟﻔﺸﻞ‬
‫ﻭﺧﻴﺒﺔ ﺍﻷﻣﻞ‪ .‬ﻓﻄﺎﻟﻤﺎ ﺃﻧﻪ ﻓﻌﻞ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻟﻤﺎﺿﻲ ﻣﺎ ﻳﺴﺘﺤﻖ ﺍﻟﻔﺨﺮ‬
‫ﻭﺍﻟﺘﻘﺪﻳﺮ‪ ،‬ﻓﻤﺎ ﺍﻟﺬﻱ ﻳﻤﻨﻌﻪ ﻣﻦ ﺗﻜﺮﺍﺭ ﺫﻟﻚ ﻣﺮﺓ ﺃﺧﺮﻯ!‬

‫‪ -1‬ﺍﻣﻨﺢ ﻃﻔﻠﻚ ﻣﺰﻳ ًﺪﺍ ﻣﻦ ﺍﻟﻔﺮﺹ ﺍﻟﻤﺘﻨﻮﻋﺔ ﺍﻟﺘﻲ‬ ‫‪‬‬

‫ﺗﻌﻜﺲ ﺗﻨﻮﻉ ﺍﻟﻘﺪﺭﺍﺕ‪” :‬ﺃﻧﺖ ﺗﻤﺘﻠﻚ ﻫﺬﻩ ﺍﻟﻠﻌﺒﺔ ﻣﻨﺬ ﺃﻥ‬
‫ﻛﻨﺖ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻟﺜﺎﻟﺜﺔ ﻣﻦ ﻋﻤﺮﻙ‪ ،‬ﻭﻫﺎ ﻫﻲ ﺟﺪﻳﺪﺓ ﻛﻤﺎ ﻛﺎﻧﺖ!“‬ ‫‪ E‬ﻳﺠﺐ ﺃﻥ ﻳﻜﻮﻥ ﺍﻟﻤﺪﺡ ﻣﻼﺋﻤًﺎ ﻟﻌﻤﺮ ﺍﻟﻄﻔﻞ ﻭﻗﺪﺭﺍﺗﻪ‬
‫ً‬
‫ﻣﺨﺘﻠﻔﺎ ﻣﻦ‬ ‫‪ -2‬ﺿﻌﻬﻢ ﻓﻲ ﻣﻮﺍﻗﻒ ﺗﻈﻬﺮ ﺟﺎﻧﺒًﺎ‬ ‫ﺍﻟﻌﻘﻠﻴﺔ‪.‬‬
‫ﺷﺨﺼﻴﺘﻬﻢ‪” :‬ﺳﺎﺭﺓ‪ ،‬ﻫﻞ ﺗﺴﺘﻄﻴﻌﻴﻦ ﺍﺳﺘﺨﺪﺍﻡ ﻫﺬﺍ ﺍﻟﻤﻔﻚ‬ ‫‪ E‬ﺗﺠﻨﱠﺐ ﺍﻟﻤﺪﺡ ﺍﻟﺬﻱ ﻳﺤﻤﻞ ﺑﻴﻦ ﻃﻴﺎﺗﻪ ﺇﺷﺎﺭﺍﺕ ﺃﻭ ﺗﻠﻤﻴﺤﺎﺕ‬
‫ﻟﺮﺑﻂ ﻫﺬﻩ ﺍﻷﺩﺭﺍﺝ؟“‬ ‫ﺇﻟﻰ ﻧﻘﺎﻁ ﺿﻌﻒ ﺃﻭ ﻟﺤﻈﺎﺕ ﻓﺸﻞ ﺳﺎﺑﻘﺔ‪.‬‬
‫‪ -3‬ﺩﻋﻬﻢ ﻳﺴﻤﻌﻮﻥ ﻣﺪﻳﺤﻚ ﻭﻣﺎ ﺗﻘﻮﻟﻪ ﻋﻨﻬﻢ ﻓﻲ‬ ‫‪ E‬ﺗﺬﻛﺮ ﺃﻥ ﺍﻟﺤﻤﺎﺱ ﺍﻟﻤﻔﺮﻁ ﻳﺜﺒﻂ ﻋﺰﻳﻤﺔ ﺍﻟﻄﻔﻞ ﻭﺭﻏﺒﺘﻪ‬
‫ﻏﻴﺎﺑﻬﻢ‪” :‬ﺛﻢ ﺭﻓﻊ ﺫﺭﺍﻋﻴﻪ ﺑﺜﺒﺎﺕ ﻭﻗﻮﺓ ﺭﻏﻢ ﺇﺻﺎﺑﺘﻪ!“‬ ‫ﻓﻲ ﺍﻹﻧﺠﺎﺯ‪.‬‬
‫ﻧﻤﻮﺫﺟﺎ ﻟﻠﺴﻠﻮﻙ ﺍﻟﺬﻱ ﺗﻮﺩ ﺃﻥ ﺗﺮﺍﻩ‪” :‬ﻣﺎ‬ ‫ً‬ ‫‪ -4‬ﻛﻦ‬ ‫ﻣﺮﺍﺭﺍ ﺑﻴﻨﻤﺎ ﻳﻘﻮﻡ‬
‫ً‬ ‫‪ E‬ﻻ ﺗﺘﺮﺩﺩ ﻓﻲ ﺗﻜﺮﺍﺭ ﻋﺒﺎﺭﺍﺕ ﺍﻟﻤﺪﺡ‬
‫ﺃﺻﻌﺐ ﺍﻟﺸﻌﻮﺭ ﺑﺎﻟﻬﺰﻳﻤﺔ ﻭﻟﻜﻨﻲ ﺳﺄﺗﻤﺘﻊ ﺑﺮﻭﺡ ﺭﻳﺎﺿﻴﺔ!‬ ‫ﺍﺑﻨﻚ ﺑﺈﻧﺠﺎﺯ ﻋﻤﻞ ﻣﺎ ﻛﻲ ﻳﺸﻌﺮ ﺑﺘﻘﺪﻳﺮﻙ‪.‬‬
‫ً‬
‫ﻫﻨﻴﺌﺎ ﻟﻚ ﺍﻟﻔﻮﺯ ﻳﺎ ﺻﺪﻳﻘﻲ‪“.‬‬
‫‪ -5‬ﺗﺬﻛﺮ ﻭﺍﺣﻔﻆ ﻟﺤﻈﺎﺕ ﻃﻔﻠﻚ ﺍﻟﻤﻤﻴﺰﺓ‪” :‬ﻫﻞ ﺗﺘﺬﻛﺮ‬ ‫‪‬‬
‫‪ ‬‬
‫ﺣﻴﻨﻤﺎ ﻓﻌﻠﻨﺎ ‪“......‬‬ ‫‪‬‬
‫ً‬
‫‪ -6‬ﻋﻨﺪﻣﺎ ﻳﺘﺼﺮﻑ ﻃﻔﻠﻚ ﻭﻓﻘﺎ ﻟﻠﻄﺒﺎﻉ ﺍﻟﻘﺪﻳﻤﺔ‪،‬‬
‫ﻋﺒﱢﺮ ﻋﻦ ﻣﺸﺎﻋﺮﻙ ﻭﺗﻮﻗﻌﺎﺗﻚ ً‬
‫ﺃﻳﻀﺎ‪” :‬ﻻ ﻳﻌﺠﺒﻨﻲ ﻫﺬﺍ‬ ‫ﻻ ﻳﺘﻄﻠﺐ ﺍﻷﻣﺮ ﺃﻛﺜﺮ ﻣﻦ ﺑﻀﻊ ﻛﻠﻤﺎﺕ ﺃﻭ ﻧﻈﺮﺓ ﺃﻭ ﺣﺘﻰ ﻧﺒﺮﺓ‬
‫ﺍﻟﻮﺿﻊ‪ .‬ﺭﻏﻢ ﺗﻘﺪﻳﺮﻱ ﺍﻟﺒﺎﻟﻎ ﻟﻤﺸﺎﻋﺮﻙ‪ ،‬ﻓﻘﺪ ﻛﻨﺖ ﺃﺗﻮﻗﻊ‬ ‫ﺻﻮﺕ ﻛﻲ ﺗﻨﻘﻞ ﻟﺸﺨﺺ ﻣﺎ ﺇﺣﺴﺎﺳﻚ ﺑﺄﻧﻪ ﻛﺴﻮﻝ ﻭﻏﺒﻲ‪،‬‬
‫ﺭﻭﺣﺎ ﺭﻳﺎﺿﻴﺔ‪“.‬‬‫ﻣﻨﻚ ً‬ ‫ﺃﻭ ﺑﺄﻧﻪ ﻣﺤﺒﻮﺏ ﻭﻛﻒء‪ ،‬ﻭﻣﻦ ﺛﻢ ﻳﻤﻜﻦ ﺃﻥ ﻳﺼﻠﻚ ﺷﻌﻮﺭ‬
‫‪‬‬
‫‪ ‬‬

‫ﻳﻀﻄﺮ ﺍﻵﺑﺎء ﻓﻲ ﻛﺜﻴﺮ ﻣﻦ ﺍﻟﻤﻮﺍﻗﻒ ﺇﻟﻰ ﺍﻟﺘﺼﺪﻱ ﻟﺮﻏﺒﺎﺕ ﺍﻷﺑﻨﺎء‪ ،‬ﻭﻟﻜﻦ ﻟﻸﺳﻒ ﻳﻌﺘﺒﺮ ﺍﻷﺑﻨﺎء ﻫﺬﺍ ﺍﻟﺮﻓﺾ ً‬
‫ﻧﻮﻋﺎ ﻣﻦ ﺍﻟﺘﺤﺪﻱ‬
‫ﺃﻭ ﺍﻹﻫﺎﻧﺔ ﻻﺳﺘﻘﻼﻟﻴﺘﻬﻢ ﻭﺣﻴﺎﺗﻬﻢ ﺍﻟﺨﺎﺻﺔ‪ ،‬ﻓﻴﻮﺟﻬﻮﻥ ﻛﻞ ﺟﻬﻮﺩﻫﻢ ﻟﻠﻬﺠﻮﻡ ﺍﻟﻤﻀﺎﺩ ﻛﺎﻟﺼﺮﺍﺥ‪ ،‬ﺃﻭ ﺍﻟﻐﻀﺐ‪ .‬ﻓﺎﻷﻣﺮ ﻟﻴﺲ‬
‫ﺻﺒﺮﺍ ﻭﻗﺪﺭﺓ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻟﺘﺤﻤﻞ‪ .‬ﻓﻜﻴﻒ ﻳﻤﻜﻦ ﺍﻟﺘﻌﺎﻣﻞ ﻣﻊ ﺗﻠﻚ ﺍﻟﻤﻮﺍﻗﻒ؟ ﻫﻞ ﻧﺴﺘﺴﻠﻢ؟ ﻫﻞ ﻧﺨﻀﻊ‬‫ً‬ ‫ﻳﺴﻴﺮﺍ ﺣﺘﻰ ﻣﻊ ﺃﻛﺜﺮ ﺍﻵﺑﺎء‬
‫ً‬
‫ﻟﻤﻄﺎﻟﺒﻬﻢ؟ ﻫﺬﻩ ﺑﻌﺾ ﺍﻟﺒﺪﺍﺋﻞ ﺍﻟﺘﻲ ﺗﺆﻛﺪ ﺍﻟﺼﺮﺍﻣﺔ ﻭﺍﻟﻤﺮﻭﻧﺔ ﻣﻌًﺎ‪:‬‬
‫‪ -1‬ﻗ ﱢﺪﻡ ﺍﻟﻤﻌﻠﻮﻣﺎﺕ ﺩﻭﻥ ﺍﻟﺮﻓﺾ ﺍﻟﻤﺒﺎﺷﺮ‬
‫ﺍﻟﻄﻔﻞ‪ :‬ﻫﻞ ﺃﺳﺘﻄﻴــﻊ ﺍﻟﺬﻫﺎﺏ ﻟﻠﻌﺐ ﻣﻊ ”ﺳﻌﻴﺪ“؟‬
‫ﺑﺪﻻ ﻣﻦ ﺃﻥ ﺗﺮﻓﺾ ﺗﻤﺎﻣًﺎ‪ ،‬ﺑﺈﻣﻜﺎﻧﻚ ﺃﻥ ﺗﻘﻮﻝ‪” :‬ﺳﻨﺘﻨﺎﻭﻝ ﺍﻟﻐﺪﺍء ﻓﻲ ﻏﻀﻮﻥ ﺧﻤﺲ ﺩﻗﺎﺋﻖ“ ﻓﻴﺪﺭﻙ ﺍﻟﻄﻔﻞ ﺃﻧﻪ‬‫ﻓﻲ ﻫﺬﺍ ﺍﻟﻤﻮﻗﻒ ً‬
‫ﻻ ﻳﻤﻜﻨﻪ ﺍﻟﺬﻫﺎﺏ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻟﻮﻗﺖ ﺍﻟﺮﺍﻫﻦ‪.‬‬
‫ﺻﻒ ﺍﻟﻤﺸﻜﻠﺔ‬ ‫‪ِ -2‬‬
‫ﺧﻼﺻــــﺎﺕ ﻛﺘﺐ ﺍﻟﺘﺮﺑﻴــــﺔ ﻭﺍﻟﺘﻌﻠﻴﻢ‬

‫ﺍﻟﻄﻔﻞ‪ :‬ﻫﻞ ﻳﻤﻜﻦ ﺃﻥ ﻧﺬﻫﺐ ﺇﻟﻰ ﺍﻟﻤﻜﺘﺒﺔ ﺍﻵﻥ ﻳﺎ ﺃﻣﻲ؟‬

‫ﺑﺪﻻ ﻣﻦ ”ﻟﻴﺲ ﺍﻵﻥ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻹﻃﻼﻕ‪ ،‬ﻓﻠﻨﺆﺟﻠﻬﺎ ﺇﻟﻰ ﻭﻗﺖ ﻻﺣﻖ“ ﻗﻮﻟﻲ‪” :‬ﻛﻢ ﺃﻭﺩ ﺃﻥ ﺃﺳﺎﻋﺪﻙ ﻳﺎ ﻋﺰﻳﺰﻱ‪ ،‬ﻟﻜﻦ ﻋﺎﻣﻞ ﺍﻟﻜﻬﺮﺑﺎء‬ ‫ً‬
‫ﺳﻴﺼﻞ ﺧﻼﻝ ﻧﺼﻒ ﺳﺎﻋﺔ!“‬
‫‪ -3‬ﺍﺳﺘﺒﺪﻝ ”ﻻ“ ﺑـ ”ﻧﻌﻢ“ ﻗﺪﺭ ﺍﻟﻤﺴﺘﻄﺎﻉ‬
‫ﺍﻟﻄﻔﻞ‪ :‬ﻫﻞ ﻳﻤﻜﻦ ﺃﻥ ﻧﺬﻫﺐ ﺇﻟﻰ ﺍﻟﻤﻠﻌﺐ؟‬
‫ﺑﺪﻻ ﻣﻦ ”ﻟﻴﺲ ﺍﻵﻥ‪ ،‬ﻓﺄﻧﺖ ﻟﻢ ﺗﺘﻨﺎﻭﻝ ﻏﺪﺍءﻙ ﺑﻌﺪ“ ﻗﻞ‪” :‬ﻃﺒﻌًﺎ ﺣﺒﻴﺒﻲ‪ ،‬ﺳﻨﺬﻫﺐ ﺑﻌﺪ ﺍﻟﻐﺪﺍء ﺑﻮﻗﺖ ﻣﻨﺎﺳﺐ‪“.‬‬ ‫ً‬
‫‪ -4‬ﻓ ﱢﻜﺮ ﻣﻠﻴًﺎ‬
‫ﺍﻟﻄﻔﻞ‪ :‬ﻫﻞ ﻳﻤﻜﻨﻨﻲ ﺃﻥ ﺃﺑﻴﺖ ﺍﻟﻴﻮﻡ ﻋﻨﺪ ﺻﺪﻳﻘﻲ ”ﻏﺎﺯﻱ“؟‬
‫ﺑﺪﻻ ﻣﻦ ﺍﻟﺘﻌﺠﻞ ﺑﻘﻮﻝ‪” :‬ﻻ‪ ،‬ﻷﻧﻚ ﺑﺖ ﻋﻨﺪﻩ ﺍﻷﺳﺒﻮﻉ ﺍﻟﻤﺎﺿﻲ“‪ ،‬ﺍﻣﻨﺢ ﻧﻔﺴﻚ ﻭﻗﺖ ﻟﻠﺘﻔﻜﻴﺮ ﻭﻗﻞ‪” :‬ﺩﻋﻨﻲ ﺃﻓﻜﺮ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻷﻣﺮ!“‬ ‫ً‬
‫ﺗﺘﻤﺘﻊ ﻫﺬﻩ ﺍﻟﺠﻤﻠﺔ ﺍﻟﺒﺴﻴﻄﺔ ﺑﻔﺎﺋﺪﺗﻴﻦ؛ ﺃﻭﻻﻫﻤﺎ ﺃﻧﻬﺎ ﺗﻘﻠﻞ ﻣﻦ ﺗﻮﺗﺮ ﻭﺣﺪﺓ ﺍﻟﻄﻔﻞ )ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻷﻗﻞ ﻷﻧﻪ ﻳﺸﻌﺮ ﺑﺄﻥ ﻣﻄﻠﺒﻪ ﻳﺆﺧﺬ ﺑﻘﺪﺭ‬
‫ﻣﻦ ﺍﻷﻫﻤﻴﺔ(‪ ،‬ﻭﺛﺎﻧﻴﺘﻬﻤﺎ ﺃﻧﻬﺎ ﺗﻤﻨﺤﻚ ﺍﻟﻮﻗﺖ ﺍﻟﻜﺎﻓﻲ ﻹﻋﺎﺩﺓ ﺍﻟﻨﻈﺮ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻷﻣﺮ‪.‬‬ ‫‪7‬‬
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 4 - (2011 ‫ )ﺃﺑﺮﻳﻞ‬- ‫ ﺍﻟـﻌـﺪﺩ ﺍﻟﺮﺍﺑﻊ‬- ‫ﺍﻟﺴﻨـــﺔ ﺍﻷﻭﻟﻰ‬ ‫ ﻳﺘﻄﻠﺐ‬،‫ﻋﻨﺪﻣﺎ ﻳﺼﺮ ﺍﻟﻄﻔﻞ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺳﻠﻮﻙ ﻣﻌﻴﻦ ﻟﻔﺘﺮﺓ ﻣﻦ ﺍﻟﺰﻣﻦ‬
ً
‫ﻣﻀﺎﻋﻔﺎ ﻣﻦ ﺟﺎﻧﺒﻨﺎ ﺣﺘﻰ ﻻ ﻳﻨﺘﻬﻲ ﺑﻨﺎ ﺍﻷﻣﺮ ﺇﻟﻰ‬ ‫ﺍﻷﻣﺮ ﺗﺤﻜﻤًﺎ‬
‫ ”ﻫﺎ‬:‫ﺗﻌﺰﻳﺰ ﺍﻟﺴﻠﻮﻛﻴﺎﺕ ﺍﻟﺴﻠﺒﻴﺔ ﻣﻦ ﺧﻼﻝ ﺍﻟﺼﺮﺍﺥ ﻭﺍﻟﻐﻀﺐ‬
‫ﺃﻧﺖ ﺗﻜﺮﺭ ﺍﻟﺨﻄﺄ ﻣﺮﺓ ﺃﺧﺮﻯ!!“ ﺇﺫ ﻳﺘﻄﻠﺐ ﺍﻷﻣﺮ ﻋﺰﻳﻤﺔ‬
‫ ﻟﺬﺍ ﻳﺠﺐ ﺃﻥ ﻳﺘﺄﻧﻰ ﺍﻵﺑﺎء‬.‫ﻭﺇﺭﺍﺩﺓ ﻗﻮﻳﺔ ﻣﻬﻤﺎ ﻃﺎﻟﺖ ﻓﺘﺮﺓ ﺍﻟﺘﻌﻠﻢ‬
‫ﻓﻲ ﻭﺿﻊ ﺧﻄﺔ ﻣﺤﻜﻤﺔ ﻛﻔﻴﻠﺔ ﺑﺄﻥ ﺗﺤﺮﺭ ﺃﺑﻨﺎءﻫﻢ ﻣﻦ ﺍﻷﺩﻭﺍﺭ‬
.‫ﺍﻟﺜﺎﺑﺘﺔ ﻭﺍﻟﻤﻘﻴﺪﺓ‬
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‫ﻗﺪ ﻻ ﺗﺨﻮﻟﻨﺎ ﻇﺮﻭﻑ ﻭﺿﻐﻮﻁ ﺍﻟﺤﻴﺎﺓ ﺍﻟﻴﻮﻣﻴﺔ ﻣﻦ ﺍﻟﺘﻔﻜﻴﺮ‬

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‫ﺧﻼﺻــــﺎﺕ ﻛﺘﺐ ﺍﻟﺘﺮﺑﻴــــﺔ ﻭﺍﻟﺘﻌﻠﻴﻢ‬
‫ ﻭﺭﻏﻢ ﺫﻟﻚ ﻓﺈﻧﻪ ﻳﻤﻜﻨﻚ ﺑﻔﻀﻞ ﻫﺬﻩ‬.‫ﺍﻟﻤﺘﺄﻧﻲ ﺃﻭ ﺇﻋﺎﺩﺓ ﺍﻟﺘﻔﻜﻴﺮ‬
‫ﺍﻟﻤﺒﺎﺩﺉ ﺍﻟﺠﺪﻳﺪﺓ – ﺣﺘﻰ ﻭﺇﻥ ﺻﺪﺭﺕ ﻋﻨﻚ ﺑﻌﺾ ﺍﻷﻗﻮﺍﻝ‬
‫ﻭﺍﻷﻓﻌﺎﻝ ﺍﻟﻤﺆﺳﻔﺔ – ﺃﻥ ﺗﺠﺪ ﻣﺮﺟﻌًﺎ ﻭﻣﺮﺷ ًﺪﺍ ﺗﻠﺠﺄ ﺇﻟﻴﻪ ﻭﻗﺖ‬
‫ ﺑﻞ‬،‫ ﻓﻨﺤﻦ ﻛﺂﺑﺎء ﻧﻌﻠﻢ ﺟﻴ ًﺪﺍ ﺃﻧﻨﺎ ﻟﻦ ﻧﺘﻤﺎﺩﻯ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻟﺨﻄﺄ‬.‫ﺍﻟﺤﺎﺟﺔ‬
‫ﺳﻨﺨﺼﺺ ﺍﻟﻮﻗﺖ ﺍﻟﻜﺎﻓﻲ ﻟﻼﺳﺘﻤﺎﻉ ﻷﺑﻨﺎﺋﻨﺎ ﻭﻫﻢ ﻳﻌﺒﺮﻭﻥ ﻋﻦ‬
‫ ﺃﻭ ﺍﻟﻌﻤﻞ ﻋﻠﻰ‬،‫ ﺃﻭ ﺍﻟﺘﺤﺪﺙ ﻋﻦ ﻣﺸﺎﻋﺮﻧﺎ ﻧﺤﻦ‬،‫ﻣﺸﺎﻋﺮﻫﻢ‬
.‫ﺑﺪﻻ ﻣﻦ ﺗﻘﺮﻳﻊ ﺍﻟﺬﺍﺕ ﻭﺍﻟﻨﺪﻡ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻣﺎ ﻣﻀﻰ‬ ً ‫ﺇﻳﺠﺎﺩ ﺍﻟﺤﻠﻮﻝ‬
‫ﺩﻋﻮﻧﺎ ﻻ ﻧﻨﺼﺮﻑ ﻋﻦ ﺩﻭﺭﻧﺎ ﺍﻟﺤﻘﻴﻘﻲ ﻟﻴﺼﺒﺢ ﺷﻐﻠﻨﺎ ﺍﻟﺸﺎﻏﻞ‬
!‫ﺗﺼﻨﻴﻒ ﺃﻧﻔﺴﻨﺎ ﺑﻴﻦ ﺃﺏ ﺟﻴﺪ ﺃﻭ ﺳﻴﺊ ﺃﻭ ﻣﺘﺴﺎﻣﺢ ﺃﻭ ﻣﺘﺴﻠﻂ‬
‫ﻓﻠﻨﻨﻈﺮ ﺇﻟﻰ ﺃﻧﻔﺴﻨﺎ ﺑﺎﻋﺘﺒﺎﺭﻧﺎ ﻛﺎﺋﻨﺎﺕ ﺑﺸﺮﻳﺔ ﺫﺍﺕ ﻗﺪﺭﺓ ﻫﺎﺋﻠﺔ‬
:  ‫ ﺭﺑﻤﺎ ﺗﺤﺘﺎﺝ ﻋﻤﻠﻴﺔ ﺍﻟﺘﻌﺎﻣﻞ ﻭﺍﻟﺘﻌﺎﻳﺶ‬.‫ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻟﺘﻄﻮﺭ ﻭﺍﻟﺘﻐﻴﺮ‬
:  ً ‫ ﻓﻬﻲ ﺗﺘﻄﻠﺐ‬.‫ﺷﺎﻗﺎ ﻭﻣﻀﻨﻴًﺎ‬
‫ﺧﻠﻴﻄﺎ ﺳﺤﺮﻳًﺎ ﻣﻦ‬ ً ‫ﻣﻊ ﺍﻷﻃﻔﺎﻝ ﺟﻬ ًﺪﺍ‬
‫ ﺣﺘﻰ ﻭﺇﻥ‬،‫ﻭﺍﻟﺠﻠﺪ‬
َ ‫ﺍﻟﻘﻠﺐ ﻭﺍﻟﻤﺸﺎﻋﺮ ﻭﺍﻟﻌﻘﻞ ﻭﺍﻟﺮﻭﺡ ﻭﺍﻟﺼﺒﺮ‬
.‫ﻧﺮﺗﻖ ﻟﻤﺴﺘﻮﻯ ﺗﻮﻗﻌﺎﺗﻨﺎ ﺍﻟﺨﺎﺻﺔ – ﻭﻫﺬﺍ ﺃﻣﺮ ﻭﺍﺭﺩ ﺑﺎﻟﻔﻌﻞ‬ ِ ‫ﻟﻢ‬
‫ ﻓﺈﺫﺍ ﺍﺳﺘﺤﻖ ﺃﺑﻨﺎﺅﻧﺎ‬.‫ﺩﻋﻮﻧﺎ ﻻ ﻧﻘﺴﻮ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺃﻧﻔﺴﻨﺎ ﻭﻻ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺃﺑﻨﺎﺋﻨﺎ‬
!‫ﻓﺮﺻﺎ ﻣﺜﻠﻬﻢ ﺑﻼ ﺟﺪﺍﻝ‬ً ‫ ﻓﻨﺤﻦ ﻧﺴﺘﺤﻖ‬،‫ﺃﻟﻒ ﻓﺮﺻﺔ‬

‫ﺃﺩﻳﻠﻲ ﻓﺎﺑﺮ ﻭﺇﻟﻴﻦ ﻣﺎﺯﻟﺶ‬
‫”ﻓﺎﺑﺮ“ ﻭ”ﻣﺎﺯﻟﺶ“ ﺧﺒﺮﺍء ﻓﻲ ﻓﻦ ﺍﻻﺗﺼﺎﻝ ﺑﻴﻦ ﺍﻟﻜﺒﺎﺭ‬
‫ ﻭﻗﺪ ﻧﺎﻟﺘﺎ ﺑﺠﺪﺍﺭﺓ ﺍﻣﺘﻨﺎﻥ ﺍﻵﺑﺎء ﻭﺗﺄﻳﻴﺪ ﺍﻷﻭﺳﺎﻁ‬.‫ﻭﺍﻷﻃﻔﺎﻝ‬
‫ ﻫﻤﺎ ﻋﻀﻮﺗﺎ ﺗﺪﺭﻳﺲ ﺳﺎﺑﻘﺘﺎﻥ ﻓﻲ ”ﺍﻟﻤﺪﺭﺳﺔ ﺍﻟﺠﺪﻳﺪﺓ‬.‫ﺍﻟﻤﻬﻨﻴﺔ‬
‫ ﻭﻓﻲ ”ﻣﻌﻬﺪ ﺍﻟﺤﻴﺎﺓ‬،“‫ﻟﻠﺒﺤﻮﺙ ﺍﻻﺟﺘﻤﺎﻋﻴﺔ“ ﻓﻲ ”ﻧﻴﻮﻳﻮﺭﻙ‬
.“‫ﺍﻷﺳﺮﻳﺔ“ ﺑﺠﺎﻣﻌﺔ ”ﻟﻮﻧﺞ ﺁﻳﻼﻧﺪ‬



  Authors: Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish
       
Title: How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen
       
  So Kids Will Talk
       
 Publisher: HarperCollins Publishers

  ISBN: 978-0380811960

Pages: 286


6454 :  To read more about this book, use this link:
ISSN: 110/2357 http://www.amazon.com

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