Who we are is made up of the interwoven stories that that occur in our life.

Stories of our life are

created from the time that we are born to the time that we die. Sometimes, our stories might extend to
those that we have left behind. Our stories may be created with significant others or strangers; they can
be intentional or accidental, even minute or significant. All these stories combine together to shape
how we think, feel or act. These stories sometimes become our trademark or identity and it is through
these stories that people get to know or remember us. The stories that become our trademark are the
stories that are more dominant than the others. It is this dominant story that has the most impact in
ones life. Often, individuals think that these dominant stories represent who they really are, that this is
the only identity that they have. More often than not, the identities or traits in the dominant stories are
not very favourable or something negative. Individuals who firmly believe in their dominant stories
often think that this is who they really are and can no longer change. They forget that there are other
stories of their lives that say who they are. These stories are often the ones they think that are
insignificant or minute.

Going through the online course of narrative therapy, showed me that there are methods to help
individuals change. From all the concepts that were discussed, there were three main ideas that stood
out for me, these are: externalising, thickening of alternative stories, and collaboration and
accountability. For me, these three concepts work hand-in-hand.

As mentioned earlier, the dominant story of a person’s life is the one that becomes his representation.
More often than not, it is something that may be seen as negative. For example, the dominant story of
John is that he always gets into fights and because of this, people may see John as a hot-headed person.

What I like about the idea of externalising is that it stresses on the notion of “the person is not the
problem, the problem is the problem.” In this concept, the problem is a separate entity from the person.
With this ideas in mind, the person can change the adjectives that he use to describe it. Then it
becomes the person no longer see the problem as something internal that he cannot change.
Empowered with these thought, the person can now from a different kind of relationship with the
problem, wherein the person is now in control rather than the problem. Also, externalising is not purely
used with negative behaviours. Externalising can also be used with positive traits or strengths.

From where does the person realise his positive traits or strengths? He realises it through the different
stories that are being brought out during the therapy sessions. These stories are known as alternatives
stories. Often, these alternative stories are stories that might seem insignificant for the client but is
very much different from the dominant one. It is the therapist’s responsibility to help the client bring
out these positive traits into light through the art of questioning. Once the client realises his strengths
that were present ever since, the therapist thickens this by asking the client of other incidences that
these strengths may have occurred or appeared. Through the therapist’s questioning, thickening and
acknowledging the strengths, the client will soon realise that he is more than just what his dominant
story tells him. He may also use these new found realisations to deal with the problem.

An important step to the continuation of the success of the individual is collaboration and
accountability. Collaboration does not simply mean working hand-in-hand with the therapist but also
with ones community. As mentioned earlier, our lives is made up of interwoven stories that are created
with others. Community refers to the people that we interact with; they may be close to us or simply an
acquaintance.