Public Speaking or Speaking in Public

Several years ago while wandering around the web, I came across a claim and a statistic that grabbed my attention and held it. Im not sure why it had that effect on me, but it did. I read that the #1 fear of Americans was the Fear of Speaking. And it further stated that between 60%-70% of Americans suffer that fear. Of all the Fears, Speaking was #1. Not flying, falling, dying, heart attack, spiders or snakes, or any of the other weird, horrible fates & experiences that can befall a person during a lifetime. I pushed back from my computer and stared at the wall behind it and my mind was flooded with thoughts. The main thread of my thoughts at that moment was one of loss. Lost input from people that went before us. Lost ideas from generations of people that were never invited to participate. Lost opinions from people that never wanted to Speak in Public. Solutions, especially lost solutions. Solutions based on trial-n-error, empirical observation, unique and isolated experiences. Solutions that might have turned history in a different direction. The thing about solutions is they rarely come from one person. Oh I know, literature is full of heroes that come along and save-the-day! But in reality, most solutions are cumulative and collaborative. I thought about all the Women. Maybe a full 50% of Humanity, in most cases going to their graves without having the equal opportunity to be part of the Solutions. What a loss. I thought about Minorities and big and small collections of humans that were defeated, overwhelmed, destroyed, and absorbed. What happened to their knowledge? I know we can study whats left behind, in retrospect, but reading about them in Wikipedia or the Yale Library misses the point. Its just not the same as having their input at an earlier stage of human development. Well, Im confident we will never know the totality of what was never said...how could we? But, what I do know, is that if the polling statistics are correct, and they seem to hold steady, then approximately two-thirds of Americans today dont participate in public conversations. And thats in all kinds of public conversations: work-place meetings, parents night at school, community improvement meetings, political events, ...all of those and more. In America where the Freedom to Speak is enshrined in our basic

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Laws, presenting an unprecedented opportunity for all groups to engage and be heard, approximately two-thirds of Americans remain silent. But, We do have an instituted solution called: Delegation. I look around at all the petty political wrangling, the unsolved issues, the egos fighting for 15 minutes of fame and I have to ask the question: Hows that Delegation thing working out for you? Pretty Poorly I thought. So I became interested in Public Speaking, researching on the web and looking at local offerings around Los Angeles. Invested time reading articles, opinion pieces, books from amazon, lots of web sites too. Checked out some LA area networking groups and visited a couple of Toastmasters meetings. All along I was comparing my personal experiences with the new information I was accumulating. I had never studied any of this, never took a speaking course in school. Never thought I needed one, until, I moved to Hollywood to become a film maker. Well thats another story for another time, but through unexpected circumstances (arent they always), I wound up in front of the Camera instead of behind it. Alas, my Fear of Speaking was about to be revealed I thought. In self-defense and having absolutely no experience or training as an actor, I took advantage of LAs available acting resources: Workshops. Theatrical Acting Workshops, TV Commercial Workshops, Improvisation Workshops, VoiceOver Workshops. Taking chances, learning skills, improving. From my experience, I can share two events that relate to Speaking. The first time I had to deliver a Monologue in an Acting Workshop. It was a painful stressful experience for me and Im sure for the people that had to endure it. It felt like an out-of-body experience. I survived but I didnt really understand how because afterwards I could hardly recall anything about the experience. But things got better after that. And, The first time I was hired to act in a TV commercial. I was sitting on the back-end of a small imported station wagon. I was bouncing a basketball on the driveway in front of me waiting for the Crew to finish setting-up, and wondering What the hell am I doing here? Will I remember my lines? Well, I got through it, and again, things got better, less stressful, more fun, with better results.

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Two Speaking lessons I learned in Hollywood are: #1) in order to become a Speaker you have to Speak. And, #2) in order to become a better, more confident Speaker, you have to keep repeating #1. Combining those experiences with my new found interest in Public Speaking, I decided to publish a video website focused on Public Speaking from my point-ofview. After getting up to speed with website tech, I purchased my domain, built a free-theme wordpress site, and titled it Speaking Naturally. I began producing and posting videos to my website, tomjdolan.com, in early 2010. That hi-tech chapter has its own backstory, but whats interesting is the direction I found myself taking by the end of that year. Now, I value & support Volunteerism. At this time I was into my 2nd Year reading/recording books and brochures for the Braille Institute in Los Angeles. I donated about 20-25 hours per month in my recording studio and it just became a part of my life. Spinning off this experience, I decided to offer a Free Public Speaking Workshop to students at a nearby college. Maybe a 3-4 hour event to introduce ideas, techniques, stimulate interest in overcoming the Fear of Speaking, a kind of loosely structured but content rich event. I did mention Free didnt I? I telephoned the college, they werent interested, nor were any of the other 15-20 schools I contacted. As I wasnt on-staff there were potential litigation issues. I couldnt even post a flyer on a Bulletin Board on campus. I gave-up telephoning and began visiting schools figuring that I looked reasonably trustworthy in-person and someone might relent. Nothing, then this As I was leaving the offices of a prestigious private school with another sorry in my ears, the Secretary called to me. Tom, why dont you teach a class? (I thought, thats what Im trying to do.) After a short conversation followed by a stiff Espresso at a nearby Starbucks to consider the situation, I drove out to visit the recommended college. This was in June and by October I was teaching an evening class in Public Speaking. I had another class scheduled to begin at a 2nd school on weekends, and a 3rd school was looking for an opening in their schedule. I was willing to teach for Free but I wasnt allowed to Teach until I accepted a Salary for it. Somewhere theres a lesson in all of that. The Students in my classes ranged in age with a minimum age of 16. Divided almost equally between women & men, most were business owners, but not all. Some

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wanted to work on business or school presentations, others just wanted to get over their Fear of Speaking at business & social events. Teachers learn through teaching and so it was for me. Attitudes, body language, convictions, behavior. Those aspects you can read about but not fully appreciate until witnessed firsthand. One critical lesson I learned is this: Public Speaking and Speaking in Public are not the same thing and are not to be confused. I didnt know that. Public Speaking typically means standing in front of a group, maybe on a podium, maybe on a stage, behind a lectern, speaking into a microphone, delivering a Powerpoint type presentation from notes, or reading a tightly written script. Sounds about right doesnt it? On the other hand, Speaking in Public covers almost everything else. Commenting, asking questions and conversing at meetings of all kinds. Small talk at a luncheon or business event. Conversing with people you didnt know previously at a dinner party or networking event. Literally, a never-ending list of real-life communication possibilities. The majority of Students shared two points in common: they all felt encumbered to some degree by their Fear of Speaking, and, they were interested in becoming comfortable & confident Speaking in Public not in becoming Public Speakers. When I began, I envisioned Teaching & Coaching a group of people the verbal & physical communication skills they would need to change their world. And too, in the process, help them develop the Confidence to do it. What I discovered was that most students simply wanted to gain some confidence and feel comfortable when expressing themselves in public. They wanted to interact without feeling self-conscious, express an opinion without feeling foolish, participate rather than delegate. It takes courage to face any Fear, but especially your #1 Fear, the Fear of Speaking but thats exactly what these students did. According to end of course written evaluations, 100% said they had learned to manage or in some cases eliminate their Fear of Speaking. Although I was the Facilitator, each student had to do their own hard work and Risk-taking. Without the Risk there is no Gain.

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The Central Message of my business is: Public Speaking is a Learnable set of Skills. And it is, but so is Learning to Speak in Public. Learning the Skills gives a person something to focus on other than their Fear. By focusing on the Skills a person has less time to focus on their feelings of inadequacy which can be rooted in any number of past events. For most people this results in a simultaneous building of Skills & Confidence. And actually, this can happen rather quickly. Im always pleased to see the students personal & professional development. Whether as a Public Speaker or someone who can Speak in Public we all benefit from their input. I often wonder how many students will eventually realize, that the jump from Speaking in Public to Public Speaking is trivial when compared to the personal jump each has already made.

Tom j Dolan, the Author, is a Trainer/Coach and the producer of Performance of Speaking a video website devoted to Training & Coaching beginning & experienced Speakers who want to contribute to the public conversations shaping the future of our Communities, our Country, and our Planet.

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