1 Consider What You and Your Partner Want and Feel Ready For:

Even when we know we want to have certain kinds of sex, we may be comfortable with
some things and not others. We may, for example, feel ready to be the insertive
partner in anal sex (the person penetrating) but not the receptive partner (the
person being penetrated) or vice versa. Or we might feel ready for anal sex
involving a finger, but not a penis, or anal sex with a condom but not without a
condom. Thinking through what we want and feel ready for ahead of time can make it
easier to communicate our boundaries to our partner(s) before or during sex.

It�s also okay not to know exactly what you do and don�t want! Sometimes
experimenting, when we feel safe enough to do so, can be a good way to find out
what we do and don�t enjoy. This is why communication is so important in sex � so
we can tell our partner(s) �yes, I like that, I want more of that!� or �that felt
like a bit too much and I�d like to slow it down� or �I�m not really into that, can
we do this other thing instead?� or �I�ve changed my mind and I want to stop.�

Just like with other kinds of sex, everyone will have a different experience with
anal sex. Some people love it, others think it�s so-so, and others do not like it
at all. What we enjoy and do not enjoy can be a lifelong preference, or it can
depend on the day, the partner, and the circumstances.

If you and your partner are interested in experimenting, you will be able to
discover your own comfort and enjoyment levels with anal play or make the decision
that it is not for you. If you or your partner are not truly interested in anal
sex, you may want to have a conversation with them about boundaries, or other ways
you want to be sexual together instead. Again, communicating with our partners
around our likes and dislikes can go a long way toward more pleasurable, consensual
sex.

Some good resources around this include:

http://www.scarleteen.com/article/relationships/ready_or_not_the_scarleteen_sex_rea
diness_checklist

http://www.scarleteen.com/article/relationships/be_a_blabbermouth_the_whys_whats_an
d_hows_of_talking_about_sex_with_a_partner

2 Get Consent:
Firstly, always get consent (the other person�s enthusiastic permission/ agreement)
about any kind of sexual activity. Even if you really want to have a certain kind
of sex, it is never OK to pressure someone into having it with you.

It is also good to notice if the other person is asking for your consent. No one
should feel expected to have sex at all, or a certain kind of sex, or be in any way
forced or pressured sexually. If they�re not actively checking in with you about
consent, that might be a red flag for behaviours that are not OK. Here are some
good resources about to take a look at (content note: these articles talk about
sexual assault and abuse):

http://www.scarleteen.com/article/abuse_assault/drivers_ed_for_the_sexual_superhigh
way_navigating_consent
http://www.scarleteen.com/article/relationships/does_your_relationship_need_a_check
up
http://www.scarleteen.com/article/abuse_assault/hello_sailor_how_to_build_board_and
_navigate_a_healthy_relationship
3. Do it Sober or Consider Limiting Drugs and Alcohol: