Effective Communication

Effective Communication
INTRODUCTION
An organization is a group of people associated for business,

political, professional, religious, athletic, social, or other purposes.
Its activities require human beings to interact and react, that is , to
communicate. They exchange information, ideas, plans; order
needed supplies; make decisions, rules, proposals, contracts, and
agreements. Communication is the “lifeblood” of every
organization. People in organizations typically spend over 75% of
their time in an interpersonal situation; thus it is no surprise to find
that at the root of a large number of organizational problems is
poor communications. Effective communication is an essential
component of organizational success whether it is at the
interpersonal, intergroup, intra-group, organizational, or external
levels.
Communication can be considered as a personal process that

involves the transfer of information and also involves some
behavioral input. Communication is something people do. It has all
to do with relationships between people and consists of the
transfer of information and understanding between parts and
people in an organization, and the various modes and media
involved in the communication. Another way of looking at
communication is as ‘an interpersonal process of sending and
receiving symbols with meanings attached to them’ resulting in the
exchange of information and shared understanding between
people. So a measure of the effective management of
interpersonal communication is that information is passed, and
relationships are built.
Effective Communication is therefore critical to the success of an

organization because –
 Organisations today are becoming more complex both in
structure and technology.
Aurobindo , MMM- II, JBIMS 48871205.doc
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 Economic and market conditions are forcing greater efficiency

and quality at minimum cost in manufacturing and services.
 Government legislation requires managers to interpret the
changing implications for policies and practices in their own
organisation.
 People at work have high expectations from their employers –
not just high wages, but also greater personal job satisfaction.
 Organizations are becoming more dependant on horizontal
communication channels. With increased complexity,
information needs to flow quickly between specialists rather
than go up and back down the hierarchy, with its inevitable
delay and message distortion.
So when we look at the changes that are taking place in
organizations today, it is clear that managers, to be effective,
require communication performance at high levels of excellence.
The Importance and Benefits of Effective
Communication
Communication is the “lifeblood” of every organization. A vital

means of attending to company concerns is through effective
internal communication – downward, upward, and horizontal.
Communication is the medium through an organization

accomplishes its goals-
 It leads to greater effectiveness
 It keeps people in the picture.
 It gets people involved with the organization and :
• increases motivation to perform well;
• increases commitment to the organization.
 It makes for better relationships and understanding between :
• boss and sub-ordinates
• colleagues
 people within the organization and outside it
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 It helps people understand the need for change :

• how they should manage it;
• how to reduce resistance to change.
Purposes of Communication – Managers need to be

effective communicators to achieve positive results in today’s
organisations. Some of the purposes are –
 Seeking or receiving information, encouragement, control,
selling proposals, confrontation.
 Talking to different levels within the hierarchy – to individuals,
to groups, to departments – and externally to customers,
suppliers, vendors, and other professionals.
 Using both formal communication - Meetings, reports,
proposals, notices; and
Informal communication - counseling, advising, talking
to other employees.
 Working in different roles: as Chairman, project leader,
analyst, subordinate , colleague.
 Evaluating communications : are they facts, opinions, gossip ?
 Building up networks to obtain real information which may be
given freely or concealed – which means you need to ask the
right questions, or else you will find yourself drowned in data
but starved of information.
 Trying to influence those over whom you have no power.
ORGANISATIONAL COMMUNICATION
Organisational communication can be External Communication and

Internal Communication. Internal Communication is within the
organisation, whereas, External Communication is the
communication with the external stakeholders of the organisation.
The importance and the purpose of the communication in
organisation has been explained above.
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Communication in organizations use two basic channels – formal

and informal. Both are important and both carry messages –
sometimes reinforcing and sometimes conflicting – throughout the
organisation.
Formal channels are ones which have been set up by the

organisation. Messages flow in three directions : downwards,
upwards and sideways . The downward message consists
primarily of information which is necessary for any staff to carry-
out their work, such as policies and procedures, orders and
requests which are passed down the appropriate level in the
hierarchy. Upward messages are reports, requests, opinions,
complaints. Sideways messages are between different
departments, functions or people at the same level in the
organisation.
There tend to be strict rules about the use of these formal

channels. For communication to be effective, all three channels
need to be open and unblocked at all times. The upward channel is
the one which blocks most easily, and when this happens it is an
indicator that an organisation’s policies, procedures and employee
relations need to be reviewed.
Informal Channels spring up by virtue of common interests

between people in the organisation – these interests may be
caused by work, social or outside relationships. The grapevine is
very powerful channel. It has been estimated that managers
receive over half the information they need for planning purposes
through the grapevine. Its messages may frequently be distorted,
but they often carry more credibility than those coming from the
formal channels. Informal channels become the only means of
communication when the formal channels become blocked or
break-down.
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The Communication Process

Although all of us have been communicating with others since our
infancy, the process of transmitting information from an individual
(or group) to another is a very complex process with many sources
of potential error. To communicate well, we need to know
ourselves and our frames of references and to be able to assess
other people.
CONTE
XT
Stimuli
SENDE ENCODIN DECODIN RECEIVE

MESSAG
R G G R
E
(experiences, (experiences,
attitudes, skills) MEDIU attitudes, skills)
Perception M Receptor Mechanism
Idea encoding Verbal, Perception
Symbol decisions Non- Decoding
Sending mechanisms Verbal Idea interpretation
NOIS
E
FEEDBACK RESPON
Verbal, Non- SE
Verbal
The communication process involves :
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 Two major parties in communication – sender and receiver

 Two major communication tools – message and
medium
 Four major communication functions – encoding, decoding,
response and feedback. and
 noise or barriers to communication that may interfere or
distort the intended communication.
Every message whether oral or written, begins with context – a

broad field that includes country, culture, organization, and
external and internal stimuli. External stimulus prompts you to
send a message whereas internal stimulus have an complex
influence on how you translate ideas into a message.
The encoding process refers to the forming of the messages to be

sent and is influenced by the knowledge, beliefs, biases, and
feelings of the sender.
The message is the core idea you wish to communicate and it

consist of both verbal (written or spoken) symbols and non-verbal (
unspoken) symbols. Communication effectiveness also depends
upon the message forms – Words, Paralanguage, Non-verbal
behaviour.
Words are the phrases that we select to express the thought that
we intend to communicate including vocabulary, language,
phrases, sentence structure and sentence clarity. Words can insult,
injure, or exalt. They can lead to costly errors, false hopes, or
disillusionment. They can evoke pride, loyalty, action or silence and
are critical to the influence process. ( You are the master of the
words you are yet to say, but you are the slave of the words you
have already said. )
Paralanguage is the characteristics of the voice, such as rate of
speech, diction, tone , rhythm and volume. Voice is a highly
versatile instrument. Through it one can convey enthusiasm,
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confidence, anxiety, urgency, serenity, and other states of mind

and intent. The ability of the voice to affect how something is said
is known as paralanguage.
Non-verbal behaviour is anything that can be seen by the other
person, such as gestures, facial expression, eye contact, body
language, positioning. Non-verbal cues serve as windows to
emotions, desires and attitudes.
The medium depends upon the contextual factors and nature of

the message discussed above. The choice of medium is influenced
by the relationship between the sender and the receiver. Other
factors that influence the choice of medium is importance, number
of receivers, communication costs, and the amount of information.
For internal communication, written media may be memos, reports,
bulletins, job descriptions, posters, notes, employee manuals etc..
Oral communication may take the form of staff meeting, face to
face discussions, audio tapes, telephonic conversations or
videotapes. External communication media may be letters, reports,
proposals, telegrams, faxes, e-mail catalogues , new releases, live
presentations etc.
In obtaining the message, the receiver decodes the message

through assimilation and interpretation. During this process, the
receiver’s knowledge, beliefs, biases, and perceptions affect how
well the message is understood and accepted. The receiver’s
response is based on his perception of the symbols based on his
knowledge, belief and biases.
Feedback is the process by which the receiver communicates to

the sender an understanding of the message which was sent.
Feedback can occur through words, paralanguage and non-verbal
communication. A question sent by the sender which is answered
by a receiver’s blank stare is as an example of a non-verbal
feedback loop.
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For a communication to be effective the sender’s encoding process

must mesh with the receiver’s decoding process i.e .effectiveness
is a measure of reception coupled with understanding. Research
has indicated that –
 7% of the sender’s meaning is from the receiver’s perception

and interpretation.
 38% is conveyed by the receiver’s perception of sender’s
voice.
 55% is conveyed by the receiver’s interpretation of sender’s
non-verbal cues.
However, communication does not occur in a vacuum . There is

always noise or barriers to communication. Noise is any
activity, person or thing that disrupts or impedes communication
process and it can occur if the sender and the receiver do not have
a common frame of reference for communication.
Barriers to Effective Communication
There are a wide number of sources of noise or interference that

can enter into the communication process which prevent the
achievement of the desired result . Barriers to Communication can
be classified into three groups :
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Barriers to reception
 Environmental stimuli
 The receiver’s attitudes and values
 The receiver’s needs and expectations
Barriers to understanding :
 Language and semantic problems
 The ability of the receiver to listen and receive, especially
messages which threatens his or her self concept.
 The length of the communication
 Status effects
Barriers to acceptance :
 Prejudices
 Interpersonal conflicts between sender and receiver.
The following are the sources of noise or barriers to communication

:
1. Physical 4. Cross-cultural
2. Mechanical 5. Socio-psychological
3. Mental
1. Physical Barriers
 Environmental Disturbances like traffic noise, loud sound,
passing train etc.
 Time and Distance
 Personal Problems of health
 Poor hearing ( due to defective hearing)
 Poor presentation due to speech defects like stammering,
lisping etc.
 Poor verbal skills
2. Mechanical Barriers –
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 Noisy transmission (unreliable messages, inconsistency)

 The different media (machines or instruments) used for
communication, very often becomes the barrier. Non-
availability of proper machines or presence of defective
machines.
 Wrong channels or medium
3. Mental Barriers – From the sender’s point of view

 ignorance of the language and
 confused thinking are the mental barriers.
From the receiver’s point of view

 ignorance of the language,
 limitations in ability, intelligence and
understanding
 divided attention
are the serious mental barriers.
 Semantic Problems occur when people use either the

same word in different ways, or different words in the same
way. The choice of words or language in which a sender
encodes a message will influence the quality of
communication. Because language is a symbolic
representation of a phenomenon, room for interpretation
and distortion of the meaning exists. Meaning has to be
given to words and many factors affect how an individual
will attribute meaning to particular words. It is important to
note that no two people will attribute the exact same
meaning to the same words.
 Misreading of body language, tone and other non-verbal
forms of communication
 Receiver distortion: selective hearing, ignoring non-
verbal cues .
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 Voice control - Pitch, modulation of voice helps in making

communication effective.
 Communicators thinking should be clear.
4. Cross Cultural Barriers – Effective communication requires

deciphering the basic values, motives, aspirations, and
assumptions that operate across geographical lines. Given some
dramatic differences across cultures in approaches to such areas
as time, space, and privacy, the opportunities for mis-
communication while we are in cross-cultural situations are
plentiful.
 Values, Attitudes and Opinions

• Pre-conceived notions : We judge people before they speak
by allowing our opinions and ideas of them come in the way
of trying to know what the speaker is saying.
• Assumptions –i.e. assuming others see situation same as
you, has same feelings as you
• Status effects : power struggles
• Defensiveness, distorted perceptions, guilt, projection,
transference, distortions from the past, negative emotions
• Distrusted source, erroneous translation, value judgment,
state of mind of two people.
Perceptual Biases: People attend to stimuli in the environment in

very different ways. We each have shortcuts that we use to
organize data. Invariably, these shortcuts introduce some biases
into communication. Some of these shortcuts include stereotyping,
projection, and self-fulfilling prophecies. Stereotyping is one of the
most common. This is when we assume that the other person has
certain characteristics based on the group to which they belong
without validating that they in fact have these characteristics.
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Interpersonal Relationships: How we perceive communication is

affected by the past experience with the individual. Perception is
also affected by the organizational relationship two people have.
For example, communication from a superior may be perceived
differently than that from a subordinate or peer
Overcoming barriers to communication –
 If communication is oral, it must be clear and not heavily

accented.
 Words must be chosen in such a way that miscommunication
is avoided.
 People should be oriented to listen with attention and read
with concentration.
 If instruments are used they should be in proper working
condition.
 The communicator should try to reach the audience by
speaking and writing from their point of view. The ‘you’
attitude must be used on all occasions. Semantic noises must
be avoided.
 All communication should try to persuade and not rush or
overwhelm people. Psychological barriers can be effectively
overcome through persuasion.
 Proper arrangement must be made to obtain feedback. The
sooner you obtain feedback the sooner will you be able to
change your mode and manner of communication and make it
more effective.
 Make sure you are using the proper channel of
communication whether it is through written, verbal or with
visual aids.
Action to be taken to overcome barriers of effective

communication –
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Sender
WHO : To whom should the message go ?
WHY : Why am I communicating ? what are my motives ?
WHAT : Decide what to communicate. Be clear about what you
need to communicate.
WHEN : Choose the best time for optimum reception.
HOW : Use language the receiver will understand and which
unambiguous.
WHERE : Choose a location which will not interfere with the
reception, understanding and acceptance of the message.
Keep checking with the receiver.
Receiver
Be fully ATTENTIVE to sender
Listen ACTIVELY to the messages being sent.
ASK for clarifications, reception where necessary.
Keep checking with sender.
Together
Realize that misunderstandings are bound to occur, and be ALERT
for all cues to this effect.
LISTEN, listen, listen, and listen again.
TEST your understanding of the message.
Share OPINIONS, feelings and perceptions generated by the
message.
Reading Nonverbal Communication Cues
A large percentage (studies suggest over 90%) of the meaning we

derive from communication, we derive from the non-verbal cues
that the other person gives. Often a person says one thing but
communicates something totally different through vocal intonation
and body language. These mixed signals force the receiver to
choose between the verbal and nonverbal parts of the message.
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Most often, the receiver chooses the nonverbal aspects. Mixed

messages create tension and distrust because the receiver senses
that the communicator is hiding something or is being less than
candid. Nonverbal communication is made up of the following
parts:
 Appearance
 Body Language
 Tactile
 Vocal
 Use of time, space, and image
Appearance - conveys non-verbal impressions that affect the

receiver’s attitudes towards the verbal messages even before they
read or hear them. Personal appearance convey impressions
regarding occupation, age, nationality, social and economic levels,
job status, and good or poor judgments depending on
circumstances. Similarly appearance of written messages may
impress the receiver as important, routine or junk mail.
Appearance of the surroundings has an effect on persons involved
in the communication process.
Body Language - includes facial expression, eye movement,

posture, and gestures. The face is the biggest part of this. All of us
"read" people's faces for ways to interpret what they say and feel.
This fact becomes very apparent when we deal with someone with
dark sunglasses. Of course we can easily misread these cues
especially when communicating across cultures where gestures
can mean something very different in another culture. For
example, in American culture the head going up and down whereas
in India, a side-to-side head movement might mean the same thing
might indicate agreement. We also look to posture to provide cues
about the communicator; posture can indicate self-confidence,
aggressiveness, fear, guilt, or anxiety. Similarly, we look at
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gestures such as how we hold our hands, or a handshake. Many

gestures are culture bound and susceptible to misinterpretation.
Tactile: This involves the use of touch to impart meaning as in a

handshake, a pat on the back, an arm around the shoulder, a kiss,
or a hug.
Vocal: The meaning of words can be altered significantly by

changing the intonation of one's voice. Think of how many ways
you can say "no"-you could express mild doubt, terror, amazement,
anger among other emotions. Vocal meanings vary across cultures.
Intonation in one culture can mean support; another anger .
Use of Time as Nonverbal Communication: Use of time can

communicate how we view our own status and power in relation to
others. Think about how a subordinate and his/her boss would view
arriving at a place for an agreed upon meeting..
Physical Space: For most of us, someone standing very close to

us makes us uncomfortable. We feel our "space" has been invaded.
People seek to extend their territory in many ways to attain power
and intimacy. We tend to mark our territory either with permanent
walls, or in a classroom with our coat, pen, paper, etc. We like to
protect and control our territory. For Americans, the "intimate
zone" is about two feet; this can vary from culture to culture. This
zone is reserved for our closest friends. The "personal zone" from
about 2-4 feet usually is reserved for family and friends. The social
zone (4-12 feet) is where most business transactions take place.
The "public zone" (over 12 feet) is used for lectures.
At the risk of stereotyping, we will generalize and state that

Americans and Northern Europeans typify the noncontact group
with small amounts of touching and relatively large spaces
between them during transactions. Arabs and Latins normally
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stand closer together and do a lot of touching during

communication.
Similarly, we use "things" to communicate. This can involve

expensive things, neat or messy things, photographs, plants, etc.
Image: We use clothing and other dimensions of physical

appearance to communicate our values and expectations
Nonverbal Communication:
A "majority" of the meaning we attribute to words comes not from

the words themselves, but from nonverbal factors such as
gestures, facial expressions, tone, body language, etc.
Nonverbal cues can play five roles:

 Repetition: they can repeat the message the person is
making verbally
 Contradiction: they can contradict a message the individual
is trying to convey
 Substitution: they can substitute for a verbal message. For
example, a person's eyes can often convey a far more vivid
message than words and often do
 Complementing: they may add to or complement a verbal
message. A boss who pats a person on the back in addition to
giving praise can increase the impact of the message
 Accenting: non-verbal communication may accept or
underline a verbal message. Pounding the table, for example,
can underline a message.
Skillful communicators understand the importance of nonverbal

communication and use it to increase their effectiveness, as well as
use it to understand more clearly what someone else is really
saying. A word of warning. Nonverbal cues can differ dramatically
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from culture to culture. An American hand gesture meaning "A-OK"

would be viewed as obscene in some South American countries.
ANALYSIS OF COMMUNICATION
Any communication, whether oral or written can be analyzed to

determine whether it is True, False or Don’t Know (unclear) or
whether it is fact, hearsay or opinion. Both aspects of analyzing
communication are inter-related. Analyses of communication is
necessary because, often wrong feedback is generated as a result
of assuming or presuming something in the communication with
possibly dangerous results, which were intended.
When a communication is received, the receiver, after listening

attentively or reading carefully, must be able to decide whether the
contents of the communication are true, false or unclear. Any
communication or part of the communication is :
TRUE : If it is an agreement with the fact that it is actual,

accurate or correct. Immediate feedback may be
given.
FALSE : If it is wrong, erroneous, deceptive, deceiving,
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untruthful, nor genuine nor real. No feedback

required.
DON’T : If its is not clear and requires clarification from the
KNOW sender before feedback is given.
A communication is said to be a :
FACT : If it relates to any act, deed or event that has
happened or is happening.
HEARSAY : If the communication relates to something which
the communicator has only heard about ( but not
having actually seen ) and reports thereafter.
OPINION : If it appears to be possibly true, or an estimation,
or judgment, or view, or idea of the communicator.
When analyzing a communication do not :

ASSUME : Take things said or written for granted at the face
value or pretend to possess hidden information or
to take upon yourself that you are right.
PRESUME : Take as true without examination of proof or
assume or rely on or count on unduly, the
communication to be entirely true.
LISTENING SKILLS
Research has shown that people spend 48 % of their
communication time in listening, 22 % in speaking, 18 % in
reading and 12 % in writing. Despite this, the average listener
understands and retains about half of what is said immediately
after a presentation and within 48 hours, this level drops off to
22%. Hence, listening is the most critical skills in the
communication process..
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Let us first look at the different types of listening . Figure shows

two types of listening and three levels of listening intensity for both
types.
Active listening occurs when a

ACTIVE INTERACTI manager has little or no opportunity
VE to interact verbally with the speaker,
LEVELS OF INTENSITY
Empathe Empathet whereas interactive listening occurs

tic ic when people have the opportunity to
interact verbally with the speaker by
asking questions or by summarizing.
Factual Factual The level of intensity reflects the
relevance, the importance, or the
significance of the information
Casual involved.
Casual
Four types of listeners have been
identified. They are the non-
listeners, the marginal listeners, the evaluative listeners,
and the active listeners. The non-listeners and the marginal
listeners hear the words being spoken, but are pre-occupied,
uninterested, or busy preparing their next statement. These
listeners are neither concerned with the message nor the context
in which it is being presented. The evaluative listener makes a
sincere attempt to listen by paying attention to the speaker, but
makes no effort to understand the intent of the speaker’s message.
This listener hears the words, but not the feelings and the meaning
of the words. The active listener hears and understands the
message. The active listener’s full attention is on the content of the
message and the intention of the speaker.
Importance of Listening –
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 To gain new information , ideas and data for decision making

and thus aim at problem solving.
 To follow directions better and make fewer mistakes, and
thereby become more dependable.
 A good listener stands out like a beacon of courtesy and fine
manners in a sea of competitive talkers.
 Good listeners are better informed
 Good listening spares embarrassment.
 Good listening promotes understanding.
Listening does not mean agreement. It is a courtesy extended by

the listener to the speaker. It is a conscious physical effort to pay
attention and thereby understand.
BARRIERS TO LISTENING - PHYSICAL BARRIERS
 Prejudice against the speaker – Attention is lost when the

speaker’s position, attitude or belief is entirely contrary to the
listener.
 External distraction – the physical environment affects

listening. Among the negative factors are noisy fans, poor or
glaring lights, distracting background music etc. which might
distract the listener’s attention from the speaker’s message.
 Thinking speed - We speak at an average speed of 125

w.p.m., but our brain is able listen at a speed of 400 – 600
w.p.m.. Since the brain can listen faster than we can speak, a
listening gap occurs for the average person. This gap allows the
mind to wander to thoughts unrelated to those being expressed
by the speaker and influences the ability of the receiver to
accurately hear the message being sent
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 Semantic Stereotypes – Internal reaction words vary from

person to person, each list influenced by feelings, attitudes,
prejudices, and biases we carry within us. Hence , some words
cause negative reactions. We tune out the speaker because the
words annoy us; it shouts so loudly in the brain that effective
listening is impaired.
PSYCHOLOGICAL BARRIERS
 Premature evaluation - As a result of rapid thinking we

race ahead to what we feel is the conclusion. We anticipate. We
arrive at the concluding thought quickly – although often one
that is quite different from that the speaker intended.
 Emotional blocks - popularly called as “Deaf Spots” prevent

a person from taking in and retain certain ideas. There are
certain people who cannot listen to figures, to politics, or to
description of surgical operation.
 Detouring - Delivery style of the speaker can put off or

create interest in the listeners. The tendency to criticise
speaker’s manner, appearance, voice etc. impairs effective
listening.
Effective Listening skills
There are a number of situations when you need to solicit good

information from others; these situations include interviewing
candidates, solving work problems, seeking to help an employee
on work performance, and finding out reasons for performance
discrepancies. Skill in communication involves a number of specific
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strengths. The following lists some suggestions for effective

listening when confronted with a problem at work:
 Listen openly and with empathy to the other person

 Judge the content, not the messenger or delivery;
comprehend before you judge
 Use multiple techniques to fully comprehend (ask, repeat,
rephrase, etc.)
 Active body state; fight distractions
 Ask the other person for as much detail as he/she can
provide; paraphrase what the other is saying to make sure
you understand it and check for understanding
 Respond in an interested way that shows you understand the
problem and the employee's concern
 Attend to non-verbal cues, body language, not just words;
listen between the lines
 Ask the other for his views or suggestions
 State your position openly; be specific, not global
 Communicate your feelings but don't act them out (eg. tell a
person that his behavior really upsets you; don't get angry)
 Be descriptive, not evaluative-describe objectively, your
reactions, consequences
 Be validating, not invalidating ("You wouldn't understand");
acknowledge other’s uniqueness, importance
 Be conjunctive, not disjunctive (not "I want to discuss this
regardless of what you want to discuss");
 Don't totally control conversation; acknowledge what was said
 Own up: use "I", not "They"... not "I've heard you are no
cooperative"
 Don't react to emotional words, but interpret their purpose
 Practice supportive listening, not one way listening
 Decide on specific follow-up actions and specific follow up
dates
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A major source of problem in communication is defensiveness.

Effective communicators are aware that defensiveness is a typical
response in a work situation especially when negative information
or criticism is involved. Be aware that defensiveness is common,
particularly with subordinates when you are dealing with a
problem. Try to make adjustments to compensate for the likely
defensiveness. Realize that when people feel threatened they will
try to protect themselves; this is natural. This defensiveness can
take the form of aggression, anger, competitiveness, avoidance
among other responses. A skillful listener is aware of the potential
for defensiveness and makes needed adjustment. He or she is
aware that self-protection is necessary and avoids making the
other person spend energy defending the self.
In addition, a supportive and effective listener does the following:
 Stop Talking: Asks the other person for as much detail as

he/she can provide; asks for other's views and suggestions
 Looks at the person, listens openly and with empathy to the
employee; is clear about his position; be patient
 Listen and Respond in an interested way that shows you
understand the problem and the other's concern
 is validating, not invalidating ("You wouldn't understand");
acknowledge other’s uniqueness, importance
 checks for understanding; paraphrases; asks questions for
clarification
 don't control conversation; acknowledges what was said; let's
the other finish before responding
 Focuses on the problem, not the person; is descriptive and
specific, not evaluative; focuses on content, not delivery or
emotion
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 Attend to emotional as well as cognitive messages (e.g.,

anger); aware of non-verbal cues, body language, etc.; listen
between the lines
 React to the message, not the person, delivery or emotion
 Make sure you comprehend before you judge; ask questions
 Use many techniques to fully comprehend
 Stay in an active body state to aid listening
 Fight distractions
 ( if in a work situation) Take Notes; Decide on specific follow-
up actions and specific follow up dates
LISTENING TO NON-VERBAL MESSAGES
The renowned communication researcher found that only 7 % of a

message’s effect is carried by words; listeners receive the other 93
% through nonverbal means. Birdwhistell suggested that spoken
words account for no more than 30 –35 % of all social interaction.
Nonverbal communication can be divided into facial expressions,
postures, gestures and spatial messages. (Read assignment)
ASSERTIVE COMMUNICATION
What is Assertiveness?
It is a behaviour which helps us to communicate clearly and

confidently our needs, wants and feelings to other people without
abusing in any way their human rights. It is an alternative to
passive, aggressive and manipulative behaviour. Or in other words
- Assertiveness is the ability to honestly express your opinions,
feelings, attitudes, and rights, without undue anxiety, in a way that
doesn't infringe on the rights of others.
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It's dependent on a feeling of self-efficacy, a sense that if you

behave in a certain way, something predictable will occur.
Where does non-assertive behavior come from? Many of us are

taught that we should always please and/or defer to others, that it
is not nice to consider our own needs above those of others, or that
we shouldn't "make waves", that if someone says or does
something that we don't like, we should just be quiet and try to
stay away from that person in the future.
Assertiveness is often confused with aggressiveness. There is a big

difference between these two concepts, however. It is useful to
think of a continuum (below) along which the whole range of
human behavior lies. Some behavior is extremely passive (at one
end of the continuum), some is extremely aggressive (at the other
end), and some (assertive) lies somewhere in between:
passive<------------>Assertive<------------
> AGGRESSIVE.
It's not aggressiveness; it's a middle ground between being a bully
and a doormat.
Why is Assertiveness Important?
If you don't know how to be assertive, you might experience –
 Depression. From anger turned inward, a sense of being

helpless, hopeless, with no control over your life.
 Resentment. Anger at others for manipulating or taking
advantage of me.
 Frustration. How could I be such a wimp? Why did I let
someone victimize me?
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 Temper/violence. If you can't express anger appropriately, it

builds up until it blows.
 Anxiety, which leads to avoidance. If you begin to avoid
situations or people that you know will make you
uncomfortable, you may miss out on fun activities, job
opportunities, relationships, and lots of other good stuff.
 Poor relationships of all kinds. Non-assertive people are
often unable to express emotions of any kind, negative OR
positive. It's murder for a relationship when the partners can't
tell each other what they want and need and how the other
person affects them. No one is a mind reader. The same is
true for friendships and work relationships.
 Physical complaints. Headaches, ulcers, high blood
pressure. We all know what stress does to our bodies, and
assertiveness, when it becomes a habit, is a great stress
reliever.
 Parenting problems. Kids are born knowing how to test the
limits their parents set for them. If parents aren't assertive
and firm, their kids will walk all over them!
Selective Assertiveness:
Most people find it easier to be assertive in some situations than in
others. This makes perfect sense. It's a lot easier to hold your
ground with a stranger than with someone you love who might get
angry if you express your true feelings. But the more important the
relationship is to you, the more important it is to be assertive.
Assertive behaviors lead to increased respect from others, their
willingness to see you as a person who respects him/herself, a
worthwhile person, a more loveable person!
Is assertiveness always the best way to go?

Before you decide to act assertively in a given situation, you have
to decide if you can live with the consequences. Although assertive
behaviour usually will result in a positive response, some people
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might react negatively to it. For example, if your boss is completely

unreasonable and is known to go ballistic if anyone dares question
his orders, even non-aggressive, respectful, assertive behavior
might set him off and you could lose your job. If that's your
situation, then you may decide you can't afford to be assertive,
and learn other stress management techniques.
Setting the stage: If you're planning to try assertive behavior,

remember that the other person is used to your behaving in a
certain way, and may be thrown for a loop or thoroughly confused
when you change your communication style. Why not tell the other
person up front what you're trying to do? It helps to choose a
peaceful moment for this. Then you might say something like –
 “I need to tell you something and I'd like you to hear me out
before you comment.”
 “I've noticed lately that after we've been working on a project
together, I find myself feeling frustrated and overwhelmed.
I've been thinking about it and I've realized that I often go
along with your ideas, without insisting on considering some
of my ideas as well, because I'm afraid of upsetting you.”
 From now on I'm going to try something different.
 When I start to get those frustrated feelings, I'm going to ask
that we stop before making a final decision and be sure we
have considered all the options.
 I know that will be a change for you, but I really think it's fair
and I know I'll do a better job and feel better about myself if I
can tell you about my ideas."
How can anyone argue with that statement?
Techniques:
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Case-
"I've noticed that whenever we're preparing to go somewhere, you
start rushing me to finish dressing as soon as you're ready, even if
it's not yet the time we had planned to leave. I know you get
anxious when you're all ready to go and I'm not, but when you do
that, I get all flustered and take even more time. By the time we
get in the car, we're mad at each other and not much in the mood
to have a good time. From now on, let's be sure we know what
time we want to leave, and if you're ready before I am, will you
please just go to another room and read the paper or watch TV?
From now on, if you come into the bedroom or bathroom before it's
time to leave and start asking me to hurry up, I'm just going to
remind you of the time, ask you to go to another room, and close
the door until I'm ready. I know this is going to seem weird at first,
but I bet we'll enjoy our outings a lot more over the long run."
Discussions - There are three parts of each assertive intervention:
1. Empathy / validation: Try to say something that shows your

understanding of the other person's feelings. This shows them that
you're not trying to pick a fight, and it takes the wind out of their
sails. From the above example, "I know that you get anxious when
you're all ready to go and I'm not.”
2. Statement of problem: This piece describes your
difficulty/dissatisfaction, tells why you need something to change.
For example, "… but when you do that, I get all flustered and take
even more time. By the time we get in the car, we're mad at each
other and not much in the mood to have a good time."
3. Statement of what you want: This is a specific request for a
specific change in the other person's behavior. For example, "From
now on, let's be sure we know what time we want to leave, and if
you're ready before I am, will you please just go to another room
and read the paper or watch TV?"
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How to be effectively assertive:
 Use assertive body language. Face the other person, stand or

sit straight, don't use dismissive gestures, be sure you have a
pleasant, but serious facial expression, keep your voice calm
and soft, not whiney or abrasive.
 Use "I" statements. Keep the focus on the problem you're
having, not on accusing or blaming the other person. Example:
"I'd like to be able to tell my stories without interruption."
instead of "You're always interrupting my stories!"
 Use facts, not judgments. Example: "Your punctuation needs
work and your formatting is inconsistent" instead of "This is
sloppy work." or "Did you know that shirt has some spots?"
instead of "You're not going out looking like THAT, are you?"
 Express ownership of your thoughts, feeling, and
opinions. Example: "I get angry when he breaks his promises."
instead of "He makes me angry." or "I believe the best policy is
to…" instead of "The only sensible thing is to …"
 Make clear, direct, requests. Don't invite the person to say
no. Example: "Will you please ... ?" instead of "Would you mind
… ?" or "Why don't you … ?"
 Admit errors
 Give and take fair criticism
 Give and take complements easily
 Look for solutions while dealing with a problem & not beat
about the bush.
Special techniques for difficult situations:
Broken record: Keep repeating your point, using a low level,

pleasant voice. Don't get pulled into arguing or trying to explain
yourself. This lets you ignore manipulation, baiting, and irrelevant
logic. Example: You are taking something back to a store that you
know gives refunds, but the clerk first questions your decision, tries
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to imply that there's something wrong with you because you

changed your mind, tells you that she can only give a store credit,
etc. Using the broken record, you walk into the store and say "I
decided I don't need this and I'd like my money back." Then no
matter what the clerk says, you keep repeating "I decided I don't
need this and I'd like my money back." If she doesn't get it, simply
ask to speak to a manager and say the same thing. Trust me, it
works!
Fogging: This is a way to deflect negative, manipulative criticism.

You agree with some of the fact, but retain the right to choose your
behavior. Example: Mom: "Your skirt is awfully short, don't you
think you should wear longer skirts? They're the style now." You:
"You're right, skirts are longer now." Agree with as much of the
facts as you want to, but don’t agree to change your skirt length.
Fogging is great for avoiding fights and making people stop
criticizing. With significant others, when you need to keep living
together, it's best to quietly hear them out, then assertively give
your response.
Content to Process Shift:: This means that you stop talking

about the problem and bring up, instead, how the other person is
behaving RIGHT NOW. Use it when someone's not listening or
trying to use humor or a distraction to avoid the issue. Example:
"You're getting off the point. I'm starting to feel frustrated because
I feel like you're not listening."
Defusing: Letting someone cool down before discussing an issue.

Example: "I can see that you're upset, and I can even understand
part of your reaction. Let's talk about this later." Also, if they try to
stay with it, you always have the right to walk away.
Assertive inquiry / stop action: This is similar to the content to

process shift. "Let's hold it for a minute, something isn't working,
what just happened?, how did we get into this argument?" This
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helps to identify the real issue when the argument is actually about
something bigger than the immediate topic.
Example:
 "Can you help me with this statistics problem?
 Man, will you just get off my back? You know how much I have
to do today!
 Why is it such a problem to take 15 minutes to help me with
this? You told me last night that you would!
 I get so tired of you always asking me to do these things right
when I'm in the middle of something!
 Whoa, let's take a break here. How did we get from my stats
problem to you being tired of my interruptions?"
 The real problem, is not the stats problem, it's timing. Now
that topic is open for discussion and they're becoming aware
of how their arguments escalate.
Summarization: This helps to make sure you understand the

other person.
Example: "So what you're trying to tell me is....”
Specificity: It's really important to be very clear about what you

want done. This helps prevent distractions.
Example: "The thing I really wish is that you'd pick your
clothes up off the floor."
One of the most common problems in communications is caused

by trying to read people's minds or expecting them to read yours.
If you want people to respond to your ideas and needs, you have to
be able to say what they are, and say it in a way that will make
others want to respond nicely. Do you remember the self-efficacy
part from the beginning of this piece? The belief, that if you do
something in a particular way, you will be effective? Even if you
don't believe that now, but you muster your courage and try some
of these techniques in situations that are not hugely threatening,
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the results will probably be so encouraging that you will begin to

believe in your effectiveness. If it's really scary to think about being
assertive, try it first with people you don't know. Think of someone
you know who is assertive and pretend you are that person. Once
you become comfortable with assertive behaviors in less
threatening situations, you can crank it up a notch and use it all
the time. When assertiveness becomes a habit, you will wonder
how you ever got along before you started using it. The nicest
thing about all of this is that after you've become truly assertive,
you probably won't need to use these techniques very much. As
people practice assertive communication, you can almost see that
little spark of self-respect glimmer, flicker, take hold, and burst into
flame. People can sense it when you respect yourself, and they will
treat you with respect. And that is the ultimate goal of assertive
communication.
COMMUNICATION STYLES
Assertion is a style of communication. We all have learned different

styles of communication as we have adapted to the various
situations of our lives. If some of our styles of communication do
not work well in our current situation, they can be changed and
replaced with new behaviors. Though there are times when it is
best to be passive and times when it is best to be aggressive, in
most situations it works best to communicate assertively.
DEFINITIONS (from Lange & Jakubowski)
Assertion
 standing up for personal rights and expressing thoughts,

feelings and beliefs in direct, honest, and appropriate ways
that do not violate another person’s rights.
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 The basic message of assertion is: “This is what I think. This is

what I feel. This is how I see the situation.”
 The goal of assertion is communication and mutuality; that is,

to get and give respect, to ask for fair play, and to leave room
for compromise when the rights and needs of two persons
conflict.
Passivity
 violating one’s own rights by failing to express honest

feelings, thoughts, and beliefs and consequently permitting
others to violate oneself or expressing one’s thoughts and
feelings in such an apologetic, diffident, self-effacing manner
that others can easily disregard them.
 The basic message of passivity is “My feelings don’t matter -

only yours do. My thoughts aren’t important - yours are the
only ones worth listening to. I’m nothing – you are superior.”
 The goal of passivity is to appease others and to avoid conflict

at any cost.
Aggression
 directly standing up for personal rights and expressing

thoughts, feelings, and beliefs in a way that is often
dishonest, usually inappropriate, and always violates the
rights of others.
 The basic message of aggression is: “This is what I think -

you’re stupid for believing differently. This is what I want -
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what you want is not important. This is what I feel – your

feelings don’t count.
 The goal of aggression is domination and winning, forcing the

other person to lose. Winning is ensured by humiliating,
degrading, belittling, or overpowering other people so that
they become weaker or less able to express and defend their
needs and rights.
IMPORTANCE OF PROCESS
The major impact of interpersonal communication comes not from

what we say (content) but from how we say it (process). Assertive
content with passive process will communicate passivity. Some
examples of important process variables include:
 Assertion: Direct but non-invasive eye contact, modulated

voice, respect for spatial boundaries, use of illustrative
gestures, an erect but relaxed posture.
 Passive: No eye contact (or indirect evasive eye contact),

soft/whiny/or muffled voice, cringing/or physically making
yourself small (hang-dog posture), use of nervous or childish
gestures.
 Aggressive: Invasive/angry staring-eye contact, loud strident

voice, invasion of spatial boundaries, use of aggressive
gestures (parental finger), stiff, “muscled up”, posture,
towering over others.
EFFECTS OF BEHAVIOUR
Submissive or Passive Behaviour:

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Short Term effects on self are –

 Reduction in anxiety because you have avoided potential
conflict
 Escape from feeling of guilt
 You feel sorry for your self
 You feel a false sense of pride that you take on a lot of work.
Long Terms effects on self are –

 Low self esteem
 Increase in anger, hurt and self-pity
 Internal tension of nervousness and anxiety.
Effects in others
 Initially others feel sorry for you.
 They feel guilty of taking advantage of you.
 Then they get irritated with you.
 Thereafter they cease to respect you.
 Finally, they restrict their contact with you.
Effects on organisation.
 Conflicts will not be handled to the satisfaction of both parties.
 Difficult decisions may well be avoided, or delayed for too
long, or will not be implemented successfully.
 Problems not tackled early enough increase almost beyond
control.
 Fewer initiatives will be taken, so that out-dated methods will
be retained and opportunities lost.
Aggressive Behaviour:
Short term effects on self are –

 Reduction in tension due to release of pent-up emotions.
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 A sense of achievement and power where aggression appears

to be successful.
Long Term effects on self are –

 Blaming others constantly.
 Being drained of energy
 Hate and mistrust of others
 Lack of good and lasting friends.
Effects on others
 They feel anger, hurt and humiliation.
 They retaliate or they retreat and rebel silently.
 They take fewer initiatives.
 They restrict their contact with you.
Effects on Organisations :
 Talented subordinates will leave sooner or later.
 When newly promoted subordinates are required to behave
aggressively, they will find it difficult to cope.
 When seniors behave aggressively towards each other, then
everyone tries to “play politics”.
Assertive Behaviour:
Short Term and Long Term effects on self are –

 Increased opportunity at fulfilling your needs and wants
 Greater self-confidence due to high self-esteem.
 Greater confidence in others.
 Improved feelings of personal security
 Increased opportunities for all round success
Effects on others are-
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 Mutual respect between you and others.

 Greater chances of acceptance by others.
 Increased trust and responsibility by others.
 Better and effective co-operation.
Effects on organisation :
 Better negotiation and decision making capabilities.
 Greater initiatives at improving situations at work
 High quality and practical solutions to problems.
 Reduced interpersonal conflicts.
 Increase in overall effectiveness.
IDEAS TO KEEP IN MIND
1. Assertive behavior is often confused with aggressive behavior,

however, assertion does not involve hurting the other person
physically or emotionally.
2. Assertive behavior aims to equalize the balance of power, not to
“Win the Battle” by putting down the other person or rendering
them helpless.
3. Assertive behavior includes expressing your legitimate rights as
an individual. You have a right to express your own wants,
needs, and ideas.
4. Remember: Other individuals have a right to respond to your
assertiveness with their own wants, needs, and ideas.
5. An assertive encounter with another individual may involve
negotiating an agreeable compromise.
6. By behaving assertively, you open the way for honest
relationships with others.
7. Assertive behavior is not only determined by “what you say”. A
major component of the effect of your communication depends
on “how you say” it.
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8. Assertive words accompanied by appropriate assertive “body

language” make your message more clear and have more
impact.
9. Assertive body language includes:
 Maintaining direct eye contact.
 Maintaining an erect posture.
 Speaking clearly and audibly.
 Not using a soft, whiny, or muffled voice.
 Using facial expressions and gestures to add emphasis to
your words.
10. Your communication style is a set of learned behaviors.
Assertive behavior is a skill that can be learned and maintained
with practice.
ASKING FOR BEHAVIOR CHANGE
One specific type of assertive behavior is a request for behavior

change. For example: You may need to ask a room-mate to turn
down the stereo so you can study. It is necessary to request that
others change behavior that does not work, but it is often difficult
for people to make such requests:
1. You have a right to ask for behavior change from others.

(They also have the right to refuse.)
2. When you do not ask others to change a problem behavior,
you risk allowing the behavior to continue and your relationship
to be strained, or waiting until you are “fed up” and starting a
fight.
3. Requests for behavior change protect your rights, at the same
time they build clear communication and more effective
relationships.
4. When asking for behavior change use an “I message” format:
 WHEN ... (objectively describe the other’s behavior)
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 THE EFFECTS ARE ... (describe how the behavior

concretely effects you).
 I FEEL ... (describe how you feel).
 I’D PREFER ... (describe an alternate behavior you
prefer).
 OK? ... (or synonymous request for closure).
 You may wish to follow requests for behavior change
with statements of logical consequences (“If you turn
down the radio when I need to study, I will also make an
effort to be considerate of your needs”).
5. Demonstrate assertive body language when asking for
behavior change: direct eye contact, erect posture, clear
speech.
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MOTIVATION
A motive is an inner state that energizes, activates, moves,

directs, channels behaviour towards goals.
-Bernard Beralson and Gary A Steiner.
Motivation is a process that starts with a psychological deficiency

or need that activates a behaviour or a drive that is aimed at a
goal or incentive. Needs set up drives aimed at incentives and
feedback is provide to reduce dis-equillibrium.
DRIVES
GOALS
NEEDS (Deprivation
(Reduction
(Deprivation) with direction )
drives)
)
Needs are created whenever there is a physiological or

psychological imbalance.
Drives or motives are set up to alleviate needs. Physiological or

psychological drives are action oriented and provide an energizing
thrust towards reaching an incentive/goal. They are at the very
heart of the motivational process. The example s of the need for
food and water are translated into hunger and thirst drives.
Goals / Incentives – At the end of the motivational cycle is the

goal/incentive, defines as anything that will alleviate a need and
reduce a drive.
Motives influence behaviour in the following ways :

 Serve to energize and arouse action
 Serve as goals / intentions in carrying out jobs/tasks.
 Direct and influence choices people make.
 Influence learning of new behaviour
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 Have a heavy learning component. Are amenable to change

through experience with the work environment.
TYPES OF MOTIVES
1. Primary Motives
2. General Motives
 The Curiosity, Manipulation and Activity motives
 The Affection Motive
3. Secondary Motives
 Power Motive
 Achievement Motive
 Affiliation Motive
1. Primary Motives are motives that are unlearned and

physiologically based. The most commonly recognised primary
motives are hunger, thirst, sleep, sex, avoidance of pain and
maternal concern.
2. General Motives are a number of motives that lie in

the grey area between the primary and the secondary motives.
These motives are unlearned but not physiologically based.
While primary needs seek to reduce the tension or stimulation,
these general needs induce the person to increase the amount
of stimulation. General motives are more relevant to OB than
primary motives –
The Curiosity, Manipulation and Activity motives – It is

generally recognised that these motives in human beings are
quite intense. If these motives are stifled or inhibited, the total
society might become very stagnant. The same is true in an
organizational level.
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The Affection Motive - Love and affection is a very complex

form of general drive. In a world where we suffer from
interpersonal, intra-individual conflict, and where quality of life,
family values, and human rights are becoming increasingly
important to modern society, the affection motive takes an
added importance in the study of human behaviour.
3. Secondary Motives are unquestionably the most

important. As a human society develops economically and
becomes more complex, the primary drives, and to a lesser
degree the general drives, give way to the learned secondary
drives in motivating behaviour. A motive must be learned in
order to be included in this category. Numerous important
human motives meet this criterion, but the most important of
them are POWER, ACHIEVEMENT and AFFILIATION.
The Power Motive - A drive for superiority or power. Leading

advocate – Alfred Adler. The need to manipulate others or the
drive for superiority over others, Adler developed the concept of
inferiority complex and compensation. He felt tat every small
child experiences a sense of inferiority . when this feeling of
inferiority is combined with the need for superiority, the two rule
all behaviour. The person’s lifestyle is characterized by striving
to compensate for feeling of inferiority, which are combined with
innate drive for power.
The Achievement Motive – can be expressed as a desire to

perform in terms of a standard of excellence to be successful in
competitive situations.
Characteristics of a high achiever –

 Moderate risk taking
 Need for immediate feedback
 Satisfaction with accomplishment
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 Preoccupations with the task
The Affiliation Motive- can be described as need for sense of

belonging and plays a very complex but vital role in human
behaviour. This motive is an important part of group dynamics.
The Security Motive - People have learned security motive to

protect themselves from the contingencies of life and actively
try hard to avoid situations that would prevent them from
satisfying their primary, general and secondary motives.
The Status Motive – Along with security, the status or

prestige motive is especially relevant to a dynamic society.
Status is the relative ranking a person holds in a group,
organisation or society. It manifests itself through symbols. The
sources of status are –
 family background – caste , class
 Physical qualities – Race, physique, beauty.
 Achievements – education, profession
 Possessions – wealth, property
 Authority and power – formal position.
COMMUNICATING WITH STAKEHOLDERS
Who are the stakeholders ?

Why communicate with them ?
Times are changing and we have to change with
time.
Corporate communication keeps in touch with the
stakeholders.
What to communicate ? - the state of affairs.
How to Communicate ? – mailers, brochures, letters etc.
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External Stakeholders
1. Shareholders
2. The Government
3. Public Institutions – Financial Institutions, Regulatory
bodies.
4. Customers – people who keep us in business – internal
and external
5. Suppliers
6. JV Partners
7. Trade Organisations – CII, FICCI, AIMA, AAI, IATA, IBA,
Trade Unions.
8. Social Organisations – NGOs, Helpage India, CRY etc.
 Obtain donation
 Business organisations support social
organisations
 Business organisations get tax benefits.
 Impart training and provide employment.
9. The Community
 Business draws resources from community
 Provides employment
 Business has social responsibility towards
community.
CULTURAL COMMUNICATION
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Culture is pattern of basic assumptions invented, discovered or

developed by given group as it learns to cope with its problems of
external adaption and internal integration that has worked well
enough to be considered valid, and, therefore to be taught to new
members as the correct way to perceive, think and feel in relation
to the problems.
-Edgar Schein : Organisation Culture and Leadership.
Culture is a set of practice and rituals which has gained acceptance

over a period of time.
COMPONENTS OF “STRONG” CULTURE
 VALUES – Beliefs and visions of members .

 HEROES – Standard bearers who exemplify values.
 RITES & RITUALS – Ceremonies through which values are
celebrated to strengthen the importance of values.
 CULTURAL NETWORK : A communication system through
which cultural values are instituted and reinforced.
- Terrence Deal and Allen Kennedy :
Corporate Culture –Rites and Rituals of
Corporate Life
RESOLVING CONFLICT THROUGH COMMUNICATION
Causes of Conflict
• limited resources
• different needs, drives, wishes, demands
• attempts to meet basic needs for personal fulfillment:
belonging-loving, sharing and cooperating with others power-
achievement, accomplishment, recognition, respect freedom-
personal choice fun-pursuit of pleasure
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• different values beliefs priorities principles cultural, social,

mental and physical attributes
• other influences media influences culture that accepts violent
behavior absence of conflict resolution / communication skills
Anatomy of a Conflict
1. A triggering event occurs.
• The offender views/interprets this as an event that requires

him or her to "save face."
• The triggering event is often trivial; most involve actions such
as minor slights, or teasing, but even these can result in
"aggravated assault" or "homicide." · A "character contest"
develops in which neither participant will back down.
• Participants seem to accept that conflict/violence is called for.
• Participants often make a deliberate choice to be violent.
Invitations or challenges to fight are offered and accepted. In
two-thirds of cases, there is agreement to fight before the
fight begins.
2. "Opening moves" are made.
• This is the action that starts the violent incident. This action
may be taken by the student, antagonist or third party. The
third party may be bystanders or friends. Most commonly,
peers that were standing by encouraged the violence or even
joined in. Very few peers attempted to stop it. Hitting is the
most common opening move.
3. Common patterns of events follow the opening moves.
• Very few of the actions that occur after the opening move are
attempts to avoid or evade the violence.
• Violence escalates rapidly.
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• Common behavior: kicking, biting, hitting with a fist are the

most common behaviors, followed by pushing, grabbing,
shoving.
• Common emotions: anger is more common than fear, yet
seldom given as the excuse for the fight.
Justifications and Excuses for Fighting
• More than 80 percent of students felt their actions were

justified.
• Sixteen percent of students made an excuse for their actions.
Justifications
1. To restore "justice," retribution, retaliation.
• "Punishing" the antagonist for something he or she did (of all

the goals for fighting, retribution is the most common).
• The primary justification given for violence: "He/she deserved
it."
• The antagonist's guilt is neutralized when he/she feels that
the victim "deserved it."
• Comes from an underlying value system in which violence is
acceptable.
2. To gain compliance
• Convincing the antagonist to desist from an offensive course

of action.
3. To defend oneself or others.
4. To promote one's image.
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• By saving face, defending one's honor, or enhancing or

maintaining one's reputation.
Excuses
• Free will was impaired by anger.

• Reluctant-pushed into the incident by aggressors. Didn't mean
to do it.
• Wanted money.
• Free will was impaired by alcohol.
Responding to Conflict
Important Concepts
• You have a choice. Most conflicts offer choices about different

actions that can be taken.
• Your choice affects the outcome. The responses of those
involved determine the outcome of the conflict situation. Most
conflict situations can be resolved so that neither party is hurt
and both parties are satisfied. This is a win-win solution.
• Focus on the actual or potentially harmful consequences.
Think about a conflict as more than just a fight or an
argument. What is likely to happen as a result of the
responses of both sides? Is this a harmful or beneficial
consequence?
• Focus on the effect of the actions taken during the conflict on
the relationship between the people involved. Why is it
important to think about the way your response will affect
your relationship? (Most conflicts occur among family
members, friends or acquaintances.)
Responding to Conflict
Soft Hard Principled
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· Forcing,
threatening ·
· Withdrawing,
Aggression-
ignoring, avoiding · · Negotiating ·
pushing, shoving ·
Giving in · Listening ·
Anger-yelling, ·
EXAMPLES of Compromising- Understanding ·
Demanding-insist
RESPONSES agreeing to Respecting ·
on own way ·
something that Resolving to meet
Pressuring-bribe,
does not really both parties needs
punishment
meet needs
(withdrawal of
love, money)
Loser sees self as a
"victim," is Physical damage or
Interests of both
EFFECTS ON SELF disillusioned, self- violence may
parties are met
doubting, fearful, occur;
feels powerless
Harms
relationship; Loser
Win-Lose (one
may leave, attack
person's needs are
someone else-bully Win-Win (needs of
EFFECTS ON met at the expense
others, let both are met;
RELATIONSHIPS of another) Lose-
resentment build neither is hurt)
Lose (both are
up until he/she is a
hurt)
walking powder
keg
Lose-Win (one Win-Lose (one
person's needs are person's needs are
Win-Win (needs of
met at the expense met at the expense
OUTCOMES both are met;
of another) Lose- of another) Lose-
neither is hurt)
Lose (no one's Lose (both are
needs are met) hurt)
Conflict Resolution through Communication
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Communication Styles
Without adequate communication skills, adolescents may be

unable to release their feelings. This lack of communication can
increase stress and lower self-esteem.
There are three styles of communication:
• passive
• assertive
• aggressive
Passive communication involves the inability or unwillingness to

express thoughts and feelings. Passive people will do something
they don't want to do or make up an excuse rather than say how
they feel.
Assertive behavior involves standing up for oneself. Assertive

people will say what they think and stand up for their beliefs
without hurting others. The aggressive style of communication
involves overreaction, blaming and criticizing. Aggressive people
try to get their way through bullying, intimidating or even physical
violence. They do not or will not consider the rights of others.
Types of Messages
There are two types of messages that accompany each style of

communication: nonverbal and verbal. Signs, symbols, posture,
body movements, dress, facial expressions and gestures are
examples of nonverbal messages. The nonverbal messages
reinforce what the speaker is saying. For example, passive
communicators often have slumped posture and a lack of eye
contact. Assertive people exhibit erect posture and direct eye
contact. Forward-leaning posture, pointing and a glaring look are
nonverbal signals of aggressive communication. The verbal
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messages for each communication style are very different. People

who are passive will often ask questions to determine what others
want, or they may say, "I don't care." Assertive communicators use
I-messages to say what they want or need. They use refusal skills
to say no while maintaining important relationships. People who
are aggressive often use you-statements to blame or criticize.
Components of Assertive Communication
The components of verbal messages for assertive communication

include I-messages and refusals. I-messages state what the sender
thinks, feels, needs, wants or believes. They begin with the word I.
Examples of I-messages:
• I want to see Star Wars.

• I feel angry about the game.
There are a variety of refusal strategies, including:
• Say the word no firmly.

• Repeat no (if needed).
• Let the other person know you want to stay friends.
Examples of refusals:
• No, I can't sleep over on Friday, but I would like to another

time.
• No, thanks. I'm allergic to peanuts.
• The cookies look really delicious, and I'm sorry I can't have
one.
Building Active Listening Skills
There are two components of a spoken message:
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• content-the words that are used

• feelings-how the words are expressed
Problems may arise in sending and receiving messages. The

sender may wonder: Am I being understood? Is what I really mean
to say getting across? The receiver may question: Am I
understanding you? Am I accurately interpreting what you are
saying and feeling? The solution lies in checking it out.
Problems may arise in sending and receiving messages. The

sender may wonder: Am I being understood? Is what I really mean
to say getting across? The receiver may question: Am I
understanding you? Am I accurately interpreting what you are
saying and feeling? The solution lies in checking it out.
Active listening is listening with the purpose of understanding the

message. To be sure that the message was clearly understood, the
receiver has to test that understanding. How the listener
understands and interprets the message determines the response.
There are two steps to active listening. decoding and giving

feedback.
Step One-Decoding: deciding what emotion has been

communicated. The listener climbs into the other person's shoes
for a minute to see where she or he is coming from. The listener
must empathize, be sensitive, imagine what the sender feels.
Step Two-Giving feedback: Feedback tests the accuracy of the

interpretation. In giving feedback, the receiver summarizes what
was heard and seeks to clarify anything not understood. If the
response indicates that the receiver has interpreted the speaker
incorrectly, the speaker can let the receiver know.
Active vs. Passive Listening
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Active listening means listening to understand and testing the

understanding of what was heard and observed. It is listening to
hear the real meaning behind what is said. It means paying close
attention to the speaker. It means becoming involved in the
speaker's concern. Passive listening is just hearing everything that
is said without responding. Active listening is stopping the sender
when necessary to be sure you understand what has been said and
letting senders know whether you have understood what they
really mean.
Using Active Listening Skills
When do you use this skill?
Active listening is used when the other person has a problem that
doesn't conflict with your needs, for example, "I realize you have a
problem, I'd really like to be helpful…."
How do you use this skill?
Display a non-judgmental attitude. Make eye contact. Use a

respectful, interested tone of voice. Be aware of what your body
language is saying. For example, if you say you are interested in
what the speaker has to say, are you yawning, thumbing through a
magazine, looking out the window while he or she is talking or
doing other things that make it look like you're not really
interested?
Examples
Matt turns in his math test, returns to his seat, puts his face down
on the desk and says, "Man! I blew it." His friend Jenn says, "You
feel pretty worried about your math grade, huh?"
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The response, "You feel pretty worried about your math grade,
huh?" is an example of an active listening response, which shows
that Jenn has picked up on Matt's feeling. It provides an opening for
Matt to talk more about his concern and begin to think about what
to do about it.
An accurate use of active listening skills will take the sender to the
heart of the problem. As the problem becomes clearer, the sender
can begin to get over the feelings and focus on what to do.
Sample phrases to use for active listening include:
"You feel..."
"It sounds like you're saying..."
"You want…"
"You think..."
"You wish…"
The active listening process at work: "You feel pretty worried about
your math grade?"
Identify and give

Who "owns" the
feedback about the Describe the facts
problem?
feeling
about your math
You feel pretty worried
grade?
Assertiveness Skills
What is the difference between assertiveness (confrontation) and

aggressiveness?
Assertiveness, or confrontation, means taking the initiative or first
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steps to deal with a problem in a constructive, self-protective

manner. Assertiveness attacks the problem, not the person.
Aggressiveness attacks the other person rather than the problem.

It is a destructive desire to dominate another person or to force a
position or viewpoint on another person; it starts fights or quarrels.
When do you use assertiveness skills?
These skills can be used when another's behavior is not acceptable

or when continued "listening and accepting" isn't appropriate.
People often avoid confronting others about their behavior because
they don't want to hurt the relationship. However, avoiding
problems may cause bad feelings to build and may result in an
explosion or withdrawal from the relationship. Using I-messages to
be assertive is constructive, rather than destructive. It helps people
deal with problem behavior in a way that allows the other person to
agree to change while not damaging the relationship.
How do you use this skill?
The goal is to get other people to change their behavior without

putting them down or making them feel badly toward you. You may
like the person; it's a particular behavior of the person that you
don't like. Your purpose is to address the behavior, not to "dress
down" the person.
The Importance of I-messages
I-messages are designed to deal with problems. The purpose of an

I-message is to express your needs. It expresses the attitude "I am
not going to give up my needs and I'm willing to help you meet
your needs," creating a win-win situation.
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I-messages attempt to deal with the problem situation by talking

about it in terms of what is happening to me-I've got a problem. An
I-message is disarming. It's hard for someone to say something
nasty in response to a good I-message. On the other hand, a "you"
message blames others and puts them on the defensive. Then they
want to retaliate, to get even.
Steps in Using I-Messages
There are three parts to delivering an I-message, although

sometimes not all three parts are used.
A description of the behavior. What is it the other person is

doing that gives you a problem? You are describing something to
the other person, not blaming her or him for something. I-
messages tell others that their behavior is interfering with
something you need (not just something that you want). Give the
other person a clear idea of what he has done without extra blame
or guilt added.
A description of the feeling this behavior causes you. How

does what the other person is doing affect you?
A description of the effects produced by the behavior. What

concrete problem is the behavior causing you? If you can help
other people see how their behavior effects you, then they are
more likely to change the behavior.
Hints for Successful I-messages
• Be specific in describing the problem behavior

• Make eye contact
• Use a respectful tone of voice, not an aggressive or
confrontational tone
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• Be aware of what your body language is saying-that it is

reinforcing what your words say.
When an I-message Doesn't Work
If an I-message isn't working, it may be a lousy message. Yes, the

words may be OK, but the tone may be full of blame or rage or
disrespect. Pay attention to the non-verbal message. Is your face
red; are your eyes bulging; are you yelling to the top of your voice?
Or are you cool, calm and collected?
There is little to be gained by sending an anger message. Try to

stop and think about why you are so angry. You will likely find
other feelings underneath the anger: frustration, embarrassment,
rejection, fear, hurt and loneliness. Sometimes, an I-message may
not work if the other person has a strong need to continue her or
his behavior. If the other person is upset and out of control, shift
gears. Try active listening, change the environment, or let him or
her blow off steam.
I-messages also may not work if the other person doesn't agree
that the "effect" on you is a real problem. This is a values collision,
which occurs often in families.
If there is a conflict of needs, an I-message won't be enough. You'll

need to give up on the I-message and work out the conflict with
some other techniques.
The Conflict Resolution Process
There are three primary conflict resolution problem-solving

processes:
• negotiation
• mediation
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• consensus decision-making
Each of these processes has similar characteristics, including:
• Parties identify their own needs and interests.

• Parties work cooperatively to find solutions to meet those
needs and interests.
• Parties stay focused on the problem.
• Parties work cooperatively to find a mutually acceptable
solution.
Each problem-solving process has similar steps:
• Agree that you disagree (agree to negotiate; set the stage).

• Take turns talking (gather perspectives/identify interests).
• Restate what you think you heard (explain the other's
viewpoint).
• Come up with a solution that works for both parties (create
and evaluate options/generate agreement).
Negotiation
"Negotiation is a problem-solving process in which either the two

parties in the dispute or their representatives meet face to face to
work together unassisted to resolve the dispute between the
parties."
Steps in Negotiation
1. Agree that you disagree and you will try to negotiate.

2. Take turns talking; look at things from the viewpoint of the
other party.
3. Describe what you want, how you feel, and the reasons for
your wants and feelings.
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4. Take the other person's point of view and then summarize

your understanding of what he or she wants and feels and the
reasons for his or her wants and feelings.
5. Think of several ways to solve the conflict in a way that works
for both parties (create win-win options).
6. Choose the best way and make an agreement to do it.
7. Get outside help if unable to resolve the conflict.
Mediation
"Mediation is a problem-solving process in which the two parties in

the dispute or their representatives meet face to face to work
together to resolve the dispute assisted by a neutral third party
called the 'mediator'.'"
Consensus Decision-Making
"Consensus decision-making is a group problem-solving process in

which all of the parties in the dispute or representatives of each
party collaborate to resolve the dispute by crafting a plan of action
that all parties can and will support. This process may or may not
be facilitated by a neutral party."
Skills for Anger Management
What Is Anger?
Anger is a completely normal, usually healthy, human emotion.

We've all felt anger—perhaps as a fleeting annoyance or as a full-
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fledged rage. But when anger gets out of control and turns
destructive, it can lead to problems at work, at school, in personal
relationships, and in the overall quality of life.
Signs of Anger
Like other emotions, anger is accompanied by bodily changes.

When you feel angry, your heart rate, blood pressure and energy
increase.
Causes of Anger
Anger can be caused by both external and internal events. You

could be angry with someone (such as a coworker or supervisor) or
at an event (a traffic jam or a canceled flight). Worrying about
personal problems may cause anger, and memories of traumatic or
enraging events may trigger angry feelings, too.
Positive Ways to Express Angry Feelings
You can’t get rid of or avoid the things or the people that anger
you. You can’t change them either. You can learn to control your
emotions. The three main approaches are “expressing,”
“suppressing” and “calming.”
• Expressing your angry feelings in an assertive way is the

healthiest way to express anger. To do this, you have to learn
what your needs are, how to make them clear, and how to
meet them without hurting others. Being assertive doesn't
mean being pushy or demanding; it means being respectful of
yourself and others.
• Suppressing anger and redirecting it means holding in your
anger, stopping thinking about it, and focusing on something
positive. The aim is to suppress your anger and convert it into
constructive behavior. The danger in this type of response is
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that if anger is never allowed outward expression, it may turn

inward.
• Calming yourself down inside means not just controlling your
outward behavior but also controlling your internal responses,
such as taking steps to calm yourself down and let the
feelings subside.
Other Tips for Controlling Anger
• Use relaxation. Breathe deeply; think calm thoughts;

stretch; go for a brisk walk.
• Change the way you think. Tell yourself positive things.
• Learn to problem solve.
• Try to communicate better. Use I-messages and other
assertiveness techniques.
• Use humor when appropriate.
• Change your environment. Take a break from troublesome
situations.
Approaches to Conflict Resolution
There are at least three approaches to resolving conflicts

peacefully:
• Win-Win Approach
• Creative Response
• Broadening Perspectives.
Win-Win Approach
Usually when people disagree, they battle over opposing solutions.

There is a sense that one person is right and the other person is
wrong. With the win-win approach, people shift their attitudes to
say, “I want to win and I want you to win, too.” They change
disagreements from “right and wrong” situations to cooperative
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agreements. The most important step of the win-win approach is to

discuss underlying needs. This helps to build solutions that
acknowledge and value the underlying needs. To do this, people
must ask one another questions such as:
• What are your needs here?

• What values are important to you?
• What are the outcomes or results you want?
• What seems like the best solution to you? Why?
The win-win approach also requires:
• recognition of individual differences

• flexibility
• openness to change positions or viewpoints
• attack of the problem, not the people
The win-win approach works because both parties get more of

what they want and they are committed to the solution.
Creative Response
Do you see conflict as a problem or opportunity? If you see conflict

as a problem, you may tell yourself things such as “Life is hard
work,” “I have to be right,” “Mistakes are unacceptable,” or “Don't
take any chances!”
The creative response is about turning conflicts into opportunities.

It is deciding to learn from conflicts, doing something about
conflicts (instead of sticking with the problems), and getting the
best out of conflict situations. With this response, you think:
• How else can I look at this situation?

• What are the possibilities?
• What opportunities can this bring?
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• I’ll take a risk.

• Everything is a success.
With the creative response, conflicts are not about “right” or

“wrong.” Rather, problems look like intriguing challenges, and
errors are regarded as opportunities for learning. When you are
mistaken, you turn back, note what happened, and do it differently
next time.
Broadening Perspectives
Different perspectives about problems are inevitable. Everyone has

a different viewpoint about a problem (and often we think our
viewpoint is the “right” one). But if we broaden our perspective
and look at other people’s viewpoints, we see that each one makes
a contribution to the whole. Each viewpoint requires consideration
and respect in order to form a complete solution. In fact, this wider
view opens our eyes to many more possibilities. In this way, some
conflicts can be resolved by taking a different perspective.
Guidelines for this approach include:
• Consider how the problem will look over a long period

of time. The longer time frame can help people be more
realistic about the size of the problem.
• Assume a broad perspective. Look at the overall system
(the family, group, community, etc.) and consider what it
needs in order to work well.
• Deal with resistance to the broader perspective.
Assuming a broader perspective may be scary. People may
feel less certain of the rightness of their own case. They may
have to give up the security they got from the simple way
they used to see the problem. They may need courage to
enter the confusion of complexity. Many of these fears prove
ungrounded once they are carefully analyzed.
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• Be open to the idea of changing and risk-taking. When

people take a broader perspective, they may be confronted
with the enormity of the difficulties. Identify what one person
can do to affect a particular problem, even if it is only a small
step in the right direction. One step forward changes the
dynamics and new possibilities may open up.
Topics on Hand Shakes, Presentation Skills and Memos ,

Letter Writing and Corporate Communication – refer Class
notes
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Effective Communication

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Effective Communication

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Effective Communication

An organization is a group of people associated for business,

Communication can be considered as a personal process that

Effective Communication is therefore critical to the success of an

 Economic and market conditions are forcing greater efficiency

Communication is the “lifeblood” of every organization. A vital

Communication is the medium through an organization

Aurobindo , MMM- II, JBIMS 48871205.doc

 It helps people understand the need for change :

Purposes of Communication – Managers need to be

Organisational communication can be External Communication and

Aurobindo , MMM- II, JBIMS 48871205.doc

Communication in organizations use two basic channels – formal

Formal channels are ones which have been set up by the

There tend to be strict rules about the use of these formal

Informal Channels spring up by virtue of common interests

Aurobindo , MMM- II, JBIMS 48871205.doc

The Communication Process

SENDE ENCODIN DECODIN RECEIVE

Aurobindo , MMM- II, JBIMS 48871205.doc

 Two major parties in communication – sender and receiver

Every message whether oral or written, begins with context – a

The encoding process refers to the forming of the messages to be

The message is the core idea you wish to communicate and it

confidence, anxiety, urgency, serenity, and other states of mind

The medium depends upon the contextual factors and nature of

In obtaining the message, the receiver decodes the message

Feedback is the process by which the receiver communicates to

Aurobindo , MMM- II, JBIMS 48871205.doc

For a communication to be effective the sender’s encoding process

 7% of the sender’s meaning is from the receiver’s perception

However, communication does not occur in a vacuum . There is

Barriers to Effective Communication

There are a wide number of sources of noise or interference that

The following are the sources of noise or barriers to communication

 Noisy transmission (unreliable messages, inconsistency)

3. Mental Barriers – From the sender’s point of view

From the receiver’s point of view

 Semantic Problems occur when people use either the

Aurobindo , MMM- II, JBIMS 48871205.doc

 Voice control - Pitch, modulation of voice helps in making

4. Cross Cultural Barriers – Effective communication requires

 Values, Attitudes and Opinions

Perceptual Biases: People attend to stimuli in the environment in

Aurobindo , MMM- II, JBIMS 48871205.doc

Interpersonal Relationships: How we perceive communication is

Overcoming barriers to communication –

 If communication is oral, it must be clear and not heavily

Action to be taken to overcome barriers of effective

Aurobindo , MMM- II, JBIMS 48871205.doc

Reading Nonverbal Communication Cues

A large percentage (studies suggest over 90%) of the meaning we

Most often, the receiver chooses the nonverbal aspects. Mixed

Appearance - conveys non-verbal impressions that affect the

Body Language - includes facial expression, eye movement,

Aurobindo , MMM- II, JBIMS 48871205.doc

gestures such as how we hold our hands, or a handshake. Many

Tactile: This involves the use of touch to impart meaning as in a

Vocal: The meaning of words can be altered significantly by

Use of Time as Nonverbal Communication: Use of time can

Physical Space: For most of us, someone standing very close to

At the risk of stereotyping, we will generalize and state that

Aurobindo , MMM- II, JBIMS 48871205.doc