Foreplay, Lovemaking Techniques and Sex Positions

SexCoaching.com – Pam Babbitt, Editor

Foreplay, Sex Positions

and Lovemaking Techniques
By Pam Babbitt - SexCoaching.com

Sex is just the beginning, not the end.

But if you miss the beginning, you will miss the end also.
Osho

FOREPLAY

Lovemaking is a dance of energies, and foreplay is a gentle way of stepping into the dance. Embrace the
opportunity to sensually connect with your partner on every level, with no goal or expected outcome. The
desire is to allow pleasure to manifest, and when it does “marinate” in it. Keep in mind that your partner’s
body may be seeking a relaxing pleasure connection rather than energetic intercourse. Honor those needs
and don’t try to re-direct the path. In other words “match their energy.” Take the time to feel the texture of
their skin, enjoy their scent, hear the beat of their heart and their breath as it enters and leaves their body,
and connect with them through eye gazing. Foreplay allows your energy bodies to get (re)acquainted
comfortably and gradually and you may even get a signal of sensation or warmth in specific chakra areas.

As you read on, you may be surprised by some of my foreplay suggestions - intended to spark your
creativity. You may allow your foreplay to don the mood of the moment - silly and playful, silent and
sensuous, bold and bawdy. Or you may choose to create your mood by stepping into an experience or by
stepping outside your comfort zone.

Does a particular suggestion bring up feelings of “I could never do that. It just isn’t me?" Do some of the
options sound too quiet and boring? Do some require too much focus? Too much time? Are some just too
hokey or bawdy? Acknowledge those messages and know that you always have the right to be selective,
and if you choose to step outside your comfort zone it may bring unexpected gifts into your relationship. The
form that your foreplay takes brings an opportunity to experience more of your yin-yang energy. It can also
bring transformation and balance to you personally, and to your relationship as well as your lovemaking.

The foreplay suggestion that you are most resistant to may be the one carrying the most gifts.

(Please note that I am speaking in generalities here. It is not my desire to offend anyone, wherever you
are on the gender continuum.)

YIN, YANG, AND YOU

There is a belief in many Eastern cultures that male and female energies run opposite each other. According
to the Taoists energy system, yang is the masculine or active energy and yin is the female or receptive
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energy. The man pulls his sexual and life energy (yang) up from his feet, through his genitals and into his
heart, whereas the woman’s energy (yin) starts from the top of her head, through her heart and then into her
genitals. The result of these opposing energy systems is – the woman needs a heart connection before she
desires sex and the man needs sex before he can feel a heart connection. With willingness, receptivity and
surrender these energy systems can harmonize, blend, and balance as they open the door for incredible
bliss.

Another perspective on yin-yang energy is viewing it as the union of opposites. No biological system is
entirely yin or yang and no person is entirely masculine or feminine. Following this concept, your yin-yang
relationship will be influenced by the sexual positions used in your dance of energies. This is not a “War of
the Sexes,” but rather an opportunity for you and your partner to expand and become more balanced ener-
getically as you both embrace your yin and yang.

Women are often portrayed as either a Goddess or a Seductress, and sometimes have difficulty acknowl-
edging both manifestations in one physical body. When a woman is on top of her partner in lovemaking, she
is in her yang energy - more adventurous and initiating, powerful and in control, possibly even animalistic.
Men are usually more comfortable in their strong warrior mode, and less comfortable relaxing into total
surrender which they often equate with submission. When a male is on the bottom, he is being more
passive, open to surrender and experiencing his yin energy. Both men and women may find themselves in a
role or position that induces discomfort. By staying with the discomfort rather than bailing, you are inviting
expansion into your life. Lovemaking is a playground for both sexes to access and embrace their full range
of energy, and the added bonus is healing and transformation.

YIN FOREPLAY (feminine – receptive)

A sensual bath or water ritual can be very relaxing. Hair brushing, foot massage, poetry reading, chanting or
partner yoga are other calming ways to start your sensual-spiritual connection.

You may choose to start your foreplay sitting yab-yum as you breathe together and eye gaze, or embrace in
a full body hug. Eye gazing opens a powerful channel for sexual energy. As a general rule, keep your eyes
open when you can, and close them when you can’t. This allows the practice to support you, not to
undermine you. Eye gazing can uncover nervousness or embarrassment. In being seen we are exposing
ourselves and stating that we are fully present in the experience. If these feelings emerge, simply
acknowledge and allow them. If you are accustomed to making love with your eyes shut, you have not been
truly available to your lover. Begin by allowing your eyes to do “soft vision” which is a receptive mode. It gets
you out of the staring mode, which is scrutinizing and indicates that your will is in charge. Let your eyes blink,
be natural. Notice the sparkle in your partner’s eyes. Allow your visions to merge.

Synchronize your breathing, practice a different breathing pattern, or simply allow your breathing to syn-
chronize naturally. Breathing together says “I resonate with you.” Breath is the ultimate catalyst for sexual
pleasure. It is the bridge between mind and body, and focusing on it can anchor you to the present. It
unhooks you from all those thoughts cursing through your brain and connects you with your essential life
energy (prana, chi, ki). Breathing creates receptivity in your body and an intimate connection with your
partner.

To add a tantric kiss to your yab-yum position, rest your foreheads together in mutual meditation. This
synchronizes brain waves and heart beats, and may help foster telepathic communication.

Spend time kissing, with your lips being the only body contact. Feel the sensations, feel the arousal build.
You probably know the basic technique, so be creative and experiment with little nips, gently sucking lips,
etc. There is an energy connection between a woman’s upper lip and her clitoris, and a corresponding
connection between a man’s lower lip and his penis.
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Channeling your energies can assist in breaking through your partner’s body armor and connecting with their
energy field. Ask your partner to lie face down in a comfortable position. Rub your palms together briskly to
build up warmth and energy in them. Place the palm of one hand on the base of your partner’s spine and the
palm of the other at the top of the spine near the base of the neck. Close your eyes, relax, breathe deeply
synchronizing with your partner’s breath. Visualize loving energy emerging from your heart, through your
arms and hands and into your partner’s body. Send loving, healing thoughts with this energy stream. Now
imagine sending the stream in a circle from your left hand, through your left arm, into your heart, out your
right arm and hand and into your partner. You may want to softly describe this energy flow and ask your
partner to feel it with you. If your intuition suggests, give your partner gentle body rocks for further relaxation.

As you begin to massage your partner, do so sensually rather than sexually. Sensuality is the foundation of
sexuality and you can also use it to moderate your arousal. Consciously send your heart energy through
your hands with each touch. Remember that your hands are extensions of your heart and visualize a melting
as your skin touches your partner's. Use light stroking as you begin to awaken your partner’s body,
beginning with the periphery and slowing moving towards the core and the genitals. Create anticipation as
you tease those sensitive areas, then move away and return often. Vary your stroke technique and pressure,
but remember that during sensual massage it is much less important what your hands are doing than how
your heart and spirit are engaged.

As an alternative, you might want to start by massaging each other using only skin sensation items such as
a dry body brush, feathers and furs, vibrators. Add some heat or cold with ice cubes or heated massage
wraps. Sensory deprivation via blindfolds or earplugs can add novelty. Consider invigorating your sense of
smell using scented body creams, or lemon, peppermint, other food items, or essential oils.

YANG FOREPLAY (masculine – active)

Sacred sexual exercises that involve Firebreath and PC squeezes will assist you in connecting your energy
bodies, rather than just your physical bodies. Firebreath clears obstructions in your chakra system as it
brings balance and provides a clear pathway for your energy to spread throughout your body. Adding PC
muscle squeezes ignites your erotic energy and your breathing transports that energy throughout the body.
Chakras are very sensitive to sound vibrations, so open your throat chakra and let the sound flow. This
practice can be very energetic and arousing.

Consider rolling on the floor with your partner, clothed or unclothed, as you allow your bodies to explore the
possibilities of contact and position. You may want to begin in the improvisational mode and later imagine
your pelvises glued together. Shift in unison creating a dance of foreplay. Remain aware and when the body
has a spontaneous impulse to change position, allow it to happen, but refrain from going into collapse and
abandonment.

Try being submissive or dominant; feel it in your body movements, and notice what you are evoking in your
partner. If a position makes you feel vulnerable or exposed, celebrate the newness and the unknown, rather
than releasing the discomfort. When you are both relaxed, your bodies will be more supple and less fearful.

Now let your floor rolling escalate into a good, old-fashioned wrestling match. This will bring both you and
your partner fully into playfulness, and will also stimulate your power and surrender instincts. Wrestling is
another way to get your blood pumping, your heart pounding, and your autonomic system fired up, all proven
ways to increase sexual desire. (Safety note: Before engaging in wrestling agree on boundaries and a stop
signal.)

Foreplay is an exciting opportunity to test the “clothes make the person” theory. Show up dressed as a
dominatrix, sex kitten, nurse, doctor, or fireman and be open to assuming that role. Very often energies mold
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to match the outside form. Donning a costume is similar to assuming an archetype role in that you are
creating a force field waiting to be filled.

Speaking of blood pumping...let’s not forget the DANCE, sometimes called “the vertical expression of the
horizontal act.” Dancing moves sexual energy within each of your bodies, and your dance movements direct
that energy toward your partner. It can be free-form or one partner can do a lap dance for the other. How
about a striptease? This will help in developing the art of seduction as you give yourself full permission to
reveal hidden aspects of yourself, from a shy maiden to the seductress, from the gentleman to the gigolo.
Put on some bawdy music and let loose!

Speaking of stripping...there’s always strip poker, or strip scrabble, or strip backgammon. Another option is a
sensual feast which can be enjoyed in either yin or yang mode, depending on your mood and what you like
to do with food. Gather some of your favorite finger foods and feed them to your partner. This can be a “no
hands” eating experience, or you might want to seductively place tidbits on your naked body and invite your
lover to indulge. Or, consider playing a sexual board game or watching an erotic video. If your inner artist
wants to play, get creative with body paints.

Before moving on to intercourse, re-read paragraph 3 on page 1 and be aware of any reactions.

INTERCOURSE

In the dance of lovemaking, each movement from you creates a response from your partner and the dance
begins. In sacred sexuality, the heart and soul connection between the partners fuels the blissful dance, and
the position is the supporting choreography. Positions may be peaceful for soft arousal, while others suggest
and support high arousal and strong thrusting. Many yoga postures lend themselves to lovemaking as well.
As you relax and surrender to your life force and body intelligence, the positions will naturally flow. Be in tune
to the moment, rather than trying to follow a set routine.

There are six basic positions, all with numerous variations:

1) sitting
2) man-on-top
3) woman-on-top
4) side-by-side
5) standing
6) rear entry

As with foreplay, notice your reaction as you read through the options listed here. Listen to that message
and again decide if you would like to stay with the familiar or be open to a new experience. It is not
necessary to structure a “position plan’’ to move away from the old familiar. Openness, a willingness to be in
the moment, and trusting your body wisdom are all that you need.

Comfort for both partners is essential. Choose positions that work for both of you.

The positions mentioned here are offered as sparks to your creativity and assistance in adding variety to
your lovemaking. Variety keeps you emotionally, spiritually and mentally present in each moment as you
give and experience new sensations. It reduces anticipated and expected outcomes, and fine tunes your
body to various sensations as it awakens chakra energies. Arousal thrives on novelty.

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The three primary keys to moving sexual energy are breath, sound and movement. Incorporating all three in
your lovemaking will allow ultimate pleasure to happen. Deep breathing will connect you to your feelings and
provide the fuel for sexual energy to travel throughout your body. Let your breath guide your body move-
ments as the sensation and excitement spread in your body and send that erotic energy to your partner. Use
your voice to express what you are feeling - via moans, groans, or complete sentences. Without this vocal
feedback, your partner may feel a void.

Honor the wisdom of your bodies throughout your dance of lovemaking. You may observe that different posi-
tions may trigger different moods. Peaceful positions may bring about a feeling of mutual surrender – the
willingness to become an empty cup and the anticipation of becoming fulfilled, while other positions allow
you to access the aggressive, dominator or submissive aspect of yourselves. Emotional desires, energy
levels and needs are other factors. For example, the side-by-side position suggests psychological equality
and is not physically taxing for either partner. Some positions are more suitable for soft style arousal or yin
energy. They can be employed initially or enjoyed later as transition poses.

PHYSICAL FACTORS

Teachings from Quodoushka (Native American sacred sexuality), the Kama Sutra and Ananga Ranga
involve genital anatomical typing. The factors include length and girth of the penis, length of the vagina,
location of the clitoris in proximity to the vagina, inner and outer labia configuration, self-lubrication, etc. The
teachings identify which male and female genital types are compatible. The purpose here is not to indicate
incompatibility or limitations, but to move you into considering adaptability. A discrepancy in the partners’
size and weight, injuries, and medical conditions are additional factors in determining which intercourse
positions will be more comfortable and pleasurable than others.

The biggest single variable in the physics of intercourse is the position of the woman’s legs. When they are
straight, penetration is not as deep, but the clitoris often receives more stimulation. When her legs are close
together or her ankles crossed, the vaginal canal narrows so the penis receives more stimulation and so
does the clitoris. With bent legs and knees closer to her chest, the penetration is deeper, and it is usually
very deep when she places her feet on her partner’s shoulders. The length and thickness of the man’s penis
is often a factor in her leg position preference. A long penis may uncomfortably poke at her cervix when her
legs are bent and feet are up, whereas a shorter penis may feel great with that leg position - an example of
adaptability.

THOUGHTS ON THRUSTING

Remember that a penis is not just for penetration. Many women enjoy having a well-lubricated penis move
back and forth between their labia. The coronal ridge around the head of the penis can also feel great as it
glides over the clitoris.

1) The initial thrust can be made very slowly as both partners maintain eye contact, breathe together, and
take the time to appreciate the new sensations. If either or both partners have high energy sensitivity, an
initial slow penetration may be imperative, as otherwise the merging of energies can be overwhelming. This
is a great time to tease!

2) More thrusting does not necessarily mean more pleasure. With stillness, a man’s penis will begin to direct
him how to make love, when to move, when to be still, when to shift position. For both partners, motion-
lessness has the psychological effect of quieting the mind and reducing anxiety and mind chatter, and it also
moderates your arousal. During intense lovemaking, stop the thrusting, hold your body still and enjoy the
other body sensations that had been camouflaged by the intensity of the thrusting movement. Now try
squeezing your PC muscle. It might send a wave of pleasure throughout your body.

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3) Consider insertion and then simply rocking back and forth. This works well when partners are in a sitting,
or tantric yab-yum position. You may want to add synchronized breathing. Very arousing!

4) Incorporate some shallow thrusting which provides a great deal of mutual stimulation. The most sensitive
nerve endings in the vagina are near the opening and 1 to 2 inches inside. This is also the snuggest part of
the vagina with arousal. A penis that is average or long may not adequately stimulate that area with only
deep thrusting. For the male, shallow thrusting allows constant stimulation of the head of the penis, the
coronal ridge and the frenulum which are squeezed by the muscles located near the vaginal opening.

5) Deeper thrusting brings the man’s pubic bone in contact with the woman’s clitoral area and also pulls on
the inner lips, which provides more stimulation to the clitoral area. Also, deeper thrusting may cause the
penis to rub against the cervix which is often a very sensitive spot with women and may bring about cervical
orgasms.

6) Taoist masters recommend a thrusting method based on the number 9, which they associate with
powerful, masculine, yang energy. Start with 9 shallow strokes and 1 deep, then 8 shallow and 2 deep, 7
shallow and 3 deep, etc. I do not recommend this practice as engaging your brain at this time may create a
dissociation with your body. (But, if you choose to count and thrust, do not count out loud.)

7) Along with changing the depth and rhythm of penetration, also vary the speed, and try a thrust and hold
technique. Another variation is thrusting in a circular mo-
tion.

POSITIONS

SITTING – YAB-YUM
The yab-yum position deserves first mention as it promotes
the highest level of engagement and awareness. This
traditional tantric position is a great way to start love-
making, clothed or unclothed. The male sits cross-legged
on the floor and the woman sits on his lap with her legs
wrapped around his back.

As previously mentioned comfort is essential, so modify

the position if needed – legs outstretched or cushions to sit
on.

In this position you can easily eye gaze to initiate the

intimacy. Partner breathing invites your energy channels to
open and become receptive. Your body energy and spine are vertical, aligned with heaven and earth. Your
chakras are all aligned and your genitals are in proximity. Both you and your partner can place one hand on
your lover’s heart charka and also use your hands to run energy up your partner’s back. If both partners are
unclothed, the man’s penis can extend straight up and provide stimulation to the woman’s clitoris. Gently
rock back and forth and with a little cooperative wiggling you can move on to penetration, and experience the
soft arousal of the rocking motion.

Advantages
This position is excellent as foreplay and soft arousal. It also allows for extended lovemaking because it
prevents the man from thrusting.

Variations
1) Either partner can extend their legs straight out, and either can also sit on a small cushion.
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2) The man can sit on an armless chair or stool, and the woman sits on his lap.

MAN-ON-TOP or MISSIONARY
The woman lies on her back with her legs spread apart. The man then lowers himself on top of the woman
with his arms supporting his weight. From this position the man has the freedom to thrust or make circular
movements with his thighs. The woman can bend her legs resting them on the mattress or floor and thrust
her middle body towards the man using the support of her legs, or grasp the man from behind somewhat
controlling his thrusting movements. Some men enjoy receiving butt squeezes or scratches. Hard scratching
brings an opportunity to experience the pleasure-pain connection, and may intensify an orgasm.

Advantages
Good for starting and ending intercourse, especially if the man starts with shallow thrusting to allow the
vagina (or yoni) to relax. This position provides a unique level of closeness and you can kiss, caress and
enjoy the full body contact. You may want to return to this position before ejaculation as it allows deep penile
penetration.

The man on top position can fulfill emotional needs when a man wants to feel like he is dominating, or when
a woman wants to feel “taken” by a man. This position is probably the most effective for promoting preg-
nancy as the vagina is an upright cup allowing it to retain semen.

Disadvantages
The woman’s movements are extremely restricted which means that she is limited to playing a more passive
role. Some men find that this position often results in hurried orgasms. For this reason you might want to use
it towards the end of your lovemaking. If maintaining an erection is an issue, this position is not recom-
mended. When the man is using the strength necessary to hold up his body and thrust, all that muscle
expenditure may cause his erection to subside.

Variations
1) Woman’s legs wrapped around the man’s torso - In this case the woman raises her legs higher and locks
them around her partner. The higher she raises her legs, the deeper the penetration.

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2) Woman’s legs on the man’s shoulders - Be aware that this position can allow too deep a penetration,
causing irritation for the woman. The man should always take his cues from his partner and move slowly.
The big advantage here is when a man’s penis is small, this position allows for maximum sensation.

3) Woman’s legs together and between the man’s legs - This narrows the vaginal canal and puts pressure
on her clitoris.

4) Assume the missionary position, but the man lies across the woman's pelvis, slightly askew, while still
supporting his weight on his elbows. This stimulates the side of the vaginal walls, something a woman
normally doesn't feel.

5) Pillow under the woman’s hips - This allows deeper penetration and the woman’s clitoris and lips are
more exposed.

6) Riding high - This is also known as CAT or coital alignment technique, developed by Edward Eichel,
author of The Perfect Fit (Signet, 1993). The man slides two to four inches forward from the typical mis-
sionary position and rather than resting on his elbows, his arms should cup the woman’s shoulders so that
his body falls flat against hers. Both spines should be straight and the base of the penis should naturally rub
the clitoris. Now do some genital soft rocking. The woman’s legs should be straight out and touching her
partner’s while she pushes her pelvis upward about two inches. He should push down gently to give a slight
counter-resistance. The movement is all up-and-down rocking, rather than in-and-out thrusting. This is a
very popular position!

7) Woman lying on bed or table, man standing or kneeling - The elevation of the woman’s body can add
excitement and creativity. In this position, the woman lies on the bed or table with her legs draped over the
edge and her feet resting on the floor if possible. The man then kneels or stands on the floor between her
thighs. One of the advantages about this position is the range of movement possible for both partners. A
woman has more control over movement as she can press herself against him to add to the penetration or
rotate her hips for interesting stimulation and the man has an unparalleled amount of leverage and freedom
of movement.

8) Woman lying on bed or table, man standing or kneeling, woman’s legs on one shoulder of the man - In
this position the woman lies on her back. Her partner kneels sitting on his ankles close to her buttocks. From
here he hoists both of her legs onto one of his shoulders. With a little bit of guidance and caution, both lovers
are in a deliciously unique position. You will be surprised at the unique angle of penetration which many
women find delightful. The penis massages the side wall of the vagina which does not get the same attention
with other positions. If the woman wants to try massaging the opposite wall of the vagina then her legs
should be moved to the man's other shoulder. This position is not one for those who have problems with
flexibility. Movement in this position is directed by the man, and initially he may find it difficult to thrust with
both legs on his shoulder. Practice brings comfort.

9) Woman lying on bed or table, man standing or kneeling with his penis inside her. She has her knees
pulled up to her chest, feet on his chest. The man moves in and out while she rolls her hips up and down.
This is called the “rolling tickle” and is good for reaching the g-spot.

10) The woman lies on her back on a bed or table with her vagina at the edge. The man stands between her
thighs while she hooks her feet over his shoulders.

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WOMAN-ON-TOP
The man lies on his back while his partner straddles his torso. She controls the rhythm and depth of
penetration. His movement is inhibited somewhat by her weight and his lack of leverage. Some women
prefer to lay forward so she may kiss her mate, while others choose to sit up straight or squat. Regardless of
which you prefer, an interesting idea is to just rock back and forth or in a circular motion while resting on your
partner’s body. This position was very popular among Hawaiians, Polynesians and Africans before mis-
sionaries recruited them into Christianity and told them that they would go to Hell if they made love using any
position other than the man-on-top.

Advantages
There is more clitoral stimulation this way, and it also has the advantage of the feeling of deep penetration,
which is very arousing to some women. Another great advantage is that this motion can be very stimulating
for both partners. The man's penis may be massaged by the woman's cervix, and she may have cervical
orgasms. His hands are free to massage her breasts or clitoris. Since this position causes less fatigue to the
man it offers increased ejaculatory control.

Disadvantages
The man’s movements are restricted which means that he is limited to playing a somewhat passive role. It is
this position that causes more injuries to the penis. Urologists suggest that the woman be well lubricated and
not overly zealous in her thrusting so that the penis does not pop out and then get bent at an unnatural angle
with her down stroke.

Variations
1) The woman sits on the man facing his feet, using her hands to push herself up and down. From this
position she can put her hands on his knees, giving her the leverage to lift off. This position forces the penis
into an uncommon angle, which many women find extremely exciting. The man may also do anal
massage during this position.

2) In The Art of Sexual Ecstasy, Margot Anand describes the

Swooping Shakti position. The woman squats over the man’s
erect penis, facing forward, lowers herself onto it doing shallow
thrusts and then a deep thrust. She then lies on top of him
closing her thighs. Because her thighs are closed, more
pressure is placed on the penis which can be pleasurable to
both men and women. The sensations are intense and this
position will often bring men to orgasm quite quickly.

3) The man rests his upper torso on the seat of an uphol-

stered chair and his lower torso on a stool or cube with his feet
resting on the floor. The woman straddles him with her feet
placed on the floor as she moves her body up and down for
thrusting. From here she has leg comfort and total control over
all thrusting.

SIDE-BY-SIDE
Side-by-side lovemaking is often slow, luxurious, nurturing,
and not physically taxing as neither partner is supporting the
other’s weight. The range of motion for both partners is more restricted and therefore it is a good transition
pose as the partners stay connected through eye gazing, kissing, caressing, etc. This position is also good
for ejaculatory control.

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Variations
1) Spooning - Enter the spoon while you're both on one side, facing in the same direction. The woman
draws her knees up slightly, then the man tucks up behind her pelvis so you can enter from behind. By
adjusting the lean of your bodies, you'll vary the angle of entry and your latitude to thrust.

2) X position - Both partners sit on floor, facing each other, legs extended, penis inserted. Now lay all the
way back so that you are both facing the ceiling, or sky. Keep your hands clasped and out to the side.
Wriggle forever.

STANDING
This position requires a strong man and a
lighter partner. It is often associated with brief
trysts, rather than making love. Usually the man
is standing with his hands under his partner’s
buttocks and her legs are wrapped around his
torso. Greater comfort can be gained if he leans
against a wall for support.

REAR ENTRY
In the Perfumed Garden Tunisian poet Sheikh
Nefzawi describes rear-entry intercourse as the
“fashion of a ram” or “coitus of a sheep.” Some-
times it is just called “doggie style.” The woman
gets either on her hands and knees or lays
stomach first on the bed with her lover behind
her. He is on his knees or his feet, and
develops leverage by grasping on to her hips.
Depending on preference, the man's legs can
be inside of the women's legs or outside of
them. Couples may wish to have the woman's
legs closer together because it creates more
friction between the penis and vagina. Most men find that it is difficult to prolong their orgasm while in this
position. The stimulation is often too intense or overwhelming. Consequently, the couple may wish to save
the rear entry position as a way to end their lovemaking session.

Advantages
Because of the angle and the depth it is a good
way to reach the G-spot. The head of the penis will
be stimulating the upper front wall of the vagina
and G-spot. From behind, a man has more room to
move and alter the thrusting movements he wishes
to make. Likewise the woman has a certain degree
of movement that is impossible in other positions.
She can work in tandem with her partner guiding
the speed and depth of penetration.

Disadvantages
Sometimes it is difficult for the male to keep his
penis inside her. Also there is no direct clitoral
stimulation unless she uses her hands. Some cou-
ples dislike the lack of intimacy because they can-
not make eye contact.
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Variations
The woman can be entered while you are both standing or laying down flat, kneeling or sitting, or lying side
by side.

POSITION SUMMARY

Following are positions best suited for –

Long, slow, soft arousal: Yab-yum, side-by-side, spooning

Ejaculatory control:
Delayed or difficulty in
ejaculating:
G-spot stimulation:
A penis with less
than the average length:
A penis with less than
average girth:
A penis with greater than
average length:
Pregnancy:
Impregnation:
Yab-yum, side-by-side, spooning, woman-on-top
Rear entry, woman-on-top variations depending on penis length and
woman’s position
Rear entry, “rolling tickle” (under missionary), woman-on-top variations,
deep thrusting missionary position where the woman’s legs are on the man’s
shoulders, rear entry, woman-on-top
Woman-on-top, missionary position where woman’s legs are on the man’s
shoulders, missionary position with pillows, any position where the woman
crosses her ankle
Any position where the woman crosses her ankles or puts her legs on one
shoulder of the man
Any position with greater focus on shallow thrusting
Woman-on-top, rear entry
Missionary with a pillow under the woman’s hips

AFTERPLAY

Afterplay is as essential as foreplay. It takes time to get into making love and it takes time to get out of it.
Foreplay draws us into that “dance of energy” and afterplay is a soft, gradual release which shows honor and
appreciation while strengthening the bonds of intimacy.

Consider continued penetration unless a condom is used, in which case it is important to withdraw before
detumescence. Other suggestions are snuggling, spooning, returning to the yab-yum position and sharing
feelings, showering together, head or foot massage, or your own creation. Take some gradual steps to gent-
ly move away from the connection rather than abruptly detaching.

DID YOU KNOW?

1) Male testosterone levels are lowest from 10 pm to 3 am. and highest around 10 am.

2) Erotic energy thrives on variety and novelty. Consider scented lotions, toys, warming packs, incense,
candles, music, etc.

3) Anticipation is the greatest aphrodisiac.

4) During intercourse some women may expel air which has been pushed into the back of the vagina.
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 Foreplay, Lovemaking Techniques and Sex Positions
SexCoaching.com – Pam Babbitt, Editor

5) Be aware that having intercourse in a hot tub or pool can irritate the vagina due to the high levels of
chlorine.

6) Consider making love on the floor with several layers of blankets or a thin mat underneath you. Bed
mattresses absorb and diffuse energy. Your experience on the floor may allow for more sensation and
excitement.

7) Do not underestimate the power of a pillow. Various shaped pillows can make lovemaking more com-
fortable and creative as the change in angle increases sensation. Check out Liberator Shapes.

8) Women do not have a refractory period after orgasms like men do and with additional stimulation they
can often have additional orgasms.

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