Академический Документы
Профессиональный Документы
Культура Документы
"The Internet: where men are men, women are men, and children are FBI agents."
"Some things Man was never meant to know. For everything else, there's Google."
"unzip; strip; touch; finger; mount; fsck; more; yes; unmount; sleep" - my daily unix command list
"... one of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate
successful termination of their C programs." - Robert Firth
"If brute force doesn't solve your problems, then you aren't using enough."
"Unix is user-friendly. It's just very selective about who its friends are."
“Programming is like sex, one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.” — Michael Sinz
"There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don't."
"640K ought to be enough for anybody." - This is not humorous by itself; but in the context it's a classic by Bill Gates in
1981
"Microsoft is not the answer. Microsoft is the question. NO is the answer." - Erik Naggum
"Men are from Mars. Women are from Venus. Computers are from hell."
"People say Microsoft paid 14M$ for using the Rolling Stones song 'Start me up' in their commercials. This is wrong.
Microsoft payed 14M$ only for a part of the song. For instance, they didn't use the line 'You'll make a grown man cry'."
"A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light"
"The best accelerator available for a Mac is one that causes it to go at 9.81 m/s2."
"A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of
handguns and tequila"
"I would love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code"
"A Windows user spends 1/3 of his life sleeping, 1/3 working, 1/3 waiting."
"Geek's favorite pickup line: Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform? "
"Be nice to geeks when you're in school, you might end-up working for one when you grow-up."
"The only problem with troubleshooting is that sometimes trouble shoots back."
"It's a little-known fact that the Y1K problem caused the Dark Ages."
"Computer are like air conditioners: they stop working when you open windows."
"once upon a midnight dreary, while i pron surfed, weak and weary,
over many a strange and spurious site of 'hot xxx galore'.
While i clicked my fav'rite bookmark, suddenly there came a warning, and my heart was filled with mourning,
mourning for my dear amour,
" 'Tis not possible!", i muttered, "give me back my free hardcore!"
quoth the server, 404."
"Like car accidents, most hardware problems are due to driver error."
"Dating a girl is just like writing software. Everything's going to work just fine in the testing lab (dating), but as soon as
you have contract with a customer (marriage), then your program (life) is going to be facing new situations you never
expected. You'll be forced to patch the code (admit you're wrong) and then the code (wife) will just end up all bloated
"Real men don't use backups, they post their stuff on a public ftp server and let the rest of the world make copies." -
Linus Torvalds
"There are 10 kinds of people in the world, those that understand trinary, those that don't, and those that confuse it with
binary."
"If you give someone a program, you will frustrate them for a day; if you teach them how to program, you will frustrate
them for a lifetime."
"It is easier to change the specification to fit the program than vice versa."
"I had a fortune cookie the other day and it said: 'Outlook not so good'. I said: 'Sure, but Microsoft ships it anyway'."
"The nice thing about standards is that there are so many to choose from."
"The term reboot comes from the middle age (before computers). Horses who stopped in mid-stride required a boot to
the rear to start again. Thus the term to rear-boot, later abbreviated into reboot."
"The great thing about Object Oriented code is that it can make small, simple problems look like large, complex ones."
"Hacking is like sex. You get in, you get out, and hope that you didn't leave something that can be traced back to you."
Hope you liked these. Suscribe to our RSS Feed to keep yourself updated or Digg it.
When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they discovered that pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat
this problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 million developing the ball point pen that writes in zero gravity,
upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to
over 300C.
When confronted with the same problem, the Russians used a pencil.
reply
IBM = I Buy Macintosh
Geeked by drdrumm (not verified) on 15 April, 2007 - 18:23.
The nice thing about Windows - it does not just crash; it actually displays a dialogue box and lets you press OK first.
Artificial Intelligence: The art of making real computers act like the ones in movies.
Lisp in action is like a finely choreographed ballet. Basic in action is like a waltz of drugged elephants. C in action is
like a sword dance on a freshly waxed floor.
There are two major products to come out of Berkley: LSD and UNIX. We don't believe this to be a coincidence.
There are two ways to construct a software design. Make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies; or make it
so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies.
Scandisk is now checking your hard drive. You can start praying.
--- If you cut here, you'll probably destroy your monitor ---
"Coding styles are like assholes, everyone has one and no one likes anyone elses."
--Eric Warmenhoven
"Always program as if the person who will be maintaining your program is a violent psychopath that knows where you
live."
--Martin Golding
"The ultimate metric that I would like to propose for user friendliness is quite simple: if this system was a person, how
long would it take before you punched it in the nose?"
--Tom Carey
“Mostly, when you see programmers, they aren’t doing anything. One of the attractive things about programmers is that
you cannot tell whether or not they are working simply by looking at them. Very often they’re sitting there seemingly
drinking coffee and gossiping, or just staring into space. What the programmer is trying to do is get a handle on all the
individual and unrelated ideas that are scampering around in his head.”
– Charles M. Strauss
“If you have a procedure with ten parameters, you probably missed some.”
– Alan Perlis
“Programming without an overall architecture or design in mind is like exploring a cave with only a flashlight: You
“It was a joke, okay? If we thought it would actually be used, we wouldn’t have written it!”
– Mark Andreesen, speaking of the HTML tag BLINK
“Companies spend millions of dollars on firewalls, encryption and secure access devices, and it’s money wasted,
because none of these measures address the weakest link in the security chain.”
– Kevin Mitnick