Lecture 4 Communication skills:

What is nonverbal comm:

Communication without words

Includes apparent behavior such as facial expressions, eye contact, touching, tone of voice,

dress, posture, and spatial distance. Nonverbal communication is the process of

communication through sending and receiving wordless (mostly visual) cues between

people.

Principles of nonverbal comm: FCCCNMUK

1. Fast

2. Can add to or replace verbal communication

3. Universal

4. Confusing and contextual: sometimes we have to understand the person to

understand their nonverbal communication.

5. Can be intentional or unintentional

6. Nonverbal messages communicate feelings and attitudes

7. More believable than verbal

8. Key in relationships

What and why:

In 1950s, Albert Mehrabian who carried out extensive research on body language

discovered that when the communication involves emotional content, only 7% is delivered

verbally (words), while 38% is vocal (tone of voice, etc.) and 55% is non-verbal. Although

the scope of the research was limited, this came to change many people’s perspective about

the importance of body language in communication.

 Additional research carried out on telephone calls shows a similar pattern.

The training world has been reporting this for years and sometimes it is taken out of context

and applied to all possible kinds of communications. However, the core message is as

applicable as ever; that body language plays a significant role especially in emotional

communications and our interactions can be improved by controlling our own body signals

while recognizing those from others. When we are emotional, understanding body language

greatly enhances our interaction with the world by increasing our ability to read and

understand others accurately irrespective of what they say and without always relying on

words to express ourselves.

Nonverbal comm has other elements in it: KPPPHOA

1. Kinesics (body language)

2. Paralanguage (tone of voice)

3. Haptics (touch)

4. Proxemics (distance) (intimate space, social space, public space)

5. Oculesics (eye movements)

6. Physical environment and appearance

7. Artifacts

How to read the body signs: 5C’s

1. Contextual

2. Congruence

3. Consistency

4. Clusters

5. Cultural

Improving your understanding

1. Watch reactions
 2. Enroll an observer

3. Focus on specific type of nonverbal communications (understand norms in culture)

Lecture 5 Perception and listening

Perception:

Perception is the process by which people select, organize, and interpret sensory stimuli

into a meaningful picture of the world.

This process includes the perception of selecting stimuli that pass through our perceptual

filters, are organized into our existing structures and patterns, and are then interpreted

based on previous experiences.

Perception process:

 Selection is sorting, completing messages or choosing stimulus.

Has 3 main parts:

1. Selective exposure is both information we choose to pay attention or to ignore

another.

2. Selective attention is when we focus on one stimulus (movie) and tune out a

competing stimulus, (radio playing in the next room)

3. Selective retention is when we choose to remember one stimulus over another.

 Organization
 1. Proximity: Is the perceptual organization of information based on physical space

between objects. ( we perceive things closer together as belonging together)

2. Continuity: based on our performance with people we know over people we don’t.

3. Similarity: we tend to perceive similar objects, ideas, and images

4. Closure: the brain automatically completes what is suggested or implied.

 Interpretation

It is basically assigning meaning and value to what you perceive. This process includes a

blend of sensory input and prior knowledge.

Perceptual differences:

1. Physical characteristics

2. Psychological state

3. Cultural background

4. Gender

5. Media exposure

6. Perceptual set

Importance of listening:

Active listening to messages gives one the ability to control what ones receives and how one

interprets it.

Hearing vs listening: hearing is the passive reception of sounds whereas listening is the act

of actively focusing on specific sounds with a purpose.

Kinds of listening:

1. Active ( when you want to hear while the radio plays)

2. Empathic (When we listen empathetically, we go beyond sympathy to seek a truer

understand how others are feeling.

 3. Critical (is listening in order to evaluate and judge, forming opinion about what is

being said. Judgment includes assessing strengths and weaknesses, agreement and

approval.

Listening styles: PACT

1. People-oriented (is interested in the speaker. People-oriented listeners listen to the

message in order to learn how the speaker thinks and how they feel about their

message)

2. Action-oriented (are primarily interested in finding out what the speaker wants)

3. Content-oriented (are interested in the message itself)

4. Time-oriented (prefer a message that gets to the point quickly. Time-oriented

listeners can become impatient with slow delivery or lengthy explanations)

Stages of listening: NHSAUERR

1. Nosie

2. Hearing

3. Selecting

4. Attending

5. Understanding

6. Evaluating

7. Remembering

8. Responding

Barriers to listening: BLDCF

1. Lack of interest

2. Dislike the speaker, disregard the message

3. Cannot see the forest through the trees

 4. Faking attention

5. Being self-absorbed

Improving listening skills:

1. Speak and wait before you respond

2. Communicate clearly

3. Balance time between speaking and listening

4. Do not interrupt

5. Confirm understanding

6. Be attentive

7. Take time to listen

To be an active-listener:

1. Give positive eye contact

2. Smile and nod

3. Restate the speaker’s main ideas

4. Ask clarifying questions

5. Let go of your own agenda

6. Create environments to share feelings

7. Turn off your internal monologue

Lecture 6 Interpersonal communication

What is self-concept?

Your idea of yourself, communicating with oneself

Intrapersonal communication: is a developed self-knowledge, goals, strength, limitations,

moods, and motivations.

Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs: is a theory in psychology that provides pyramid of

motivational needs.

Johari’s Window Model: it is a technique that helps people better understand their
relationships with themselves and others. (1955)
Open area: what is known by the person about himself and also known by others.

Blind area: what is unknown by the person about himself, but others know.

Hidden area: what the person knows about himself that others don’t.

Unknown area: what is unknown by the person himself and also unknown by others.

Lecture 7 Lifecycle of relationships 3X5

How we engage in conversation

How we from relationships

How relationships come apart

How we engage in relationships?

1. Initiation: be open to conversation (talk-listen), then start the game through posture,

body lang., attitude.

2. Preview: an indication of what the convo is about.

3. Points: it is time to get to the heart of the matter/ smooth

4. Feedback: after every turn and interaction, people provide one another feedback.

(positive or negative)

5. Closing: appreciate the convo, reinforce future plans, verbal/nonverbal bye, and do

not introduce new information.

How we form relationships?

1. Initiation:

2. Experimenting: want to know more about personal information, likes, and dislikes

3. Intensifying: desire to see each other more

4. Integrating: participants recognize a relationship and start planning activities

5. Bonding: formalize the relationship through marriage maybe.

How relationships come apart?

 1. Differentiating: they start emphasizing their individual differences instead of forming

a common ground

2. Circumscribing: less time together spent, and blaming

3. Stagnating: engaged actively in other activities

4. Avoiding: they tend to avoid one another because of frustrations

5. Terminating: they part ways and no longer seen by other as a couple.

Lecture 8 Feedback and Empathy

Feedback: is information about performance or behavior that leads to action to affirm or

develop that performance or behavior.

Purpose of feedback:

Enables the receiver to recognise what they do well so they can continue doing it.

Does feedback work?

Feedback resulted in positive benefits on learning and achievement across all areas,

knowledge and skill types and levels of education.

Types of feedback:

1. Constructive: when you advice or inform someone to correct their behavior.

2. Positive: encouragement and praise

Tips-Feedback rules

1. Timely : given as close to the event as possible (taking account of the person’s

readiness etc)

2. Selective : Addressing one or two key issues rather than too many at once

3. Balanced: good and bad

4. Suggestions

5. Descriptive (non-judgemental)

6. Specific

7. Directed

The Impact of Feedback: the person can respond by

1. anger – ‘I’ve had enough of this’

 2. denial – this reaction often accompanies the initial shock of feedback ‘I can’t see

any problem with that’

3. blame – ‘It’s not my fault. What can you expect when the patient won’t listen?

4. rationalisation – finding excuses to try and justify their behaviour ‘I’ve had a

particularly bad week’ ‘Doesn’t everyone do this?’

5. acceptance

6. renewed action

Feedback formats:

1. written/verbal individualised eg a particular assignment

2. written/verbal general feedback to a group eg on most common errors/successes on

an exam paper

3. checklists/proforma eg headings of assessment criteria, with comments below

4. assessment criteria grid, showing where student is placed against each criteria

5. model answers

6. computerised eg multiple-choice questions

7. "Off the cuff" comments from others eg "You're really good at”

Receiving feedback:

Listen carefully of what is being said, you should be receptive to feedback. Don’t reject it.

Ask questions for clarification.

What is Empathy?

Empathy is the experience of understanding another person's thoughts, feelings, and

condition from his or her point of view, rather than from one's own. The ability to sense
other people’s emotions, coupled with the ability to imagine what someone else might be

thinking or feeling.

Two Types:

1. “Affective empathy” refers to the sensations and feelings we get in response to

others’ emotions; this can include mirroring what that person is feeling, or just

feeling stressed when we detect another’s fear or anxiety.

2. “Cognitive empathy,” sometimes called “perspective taking,” refers to our ability to

identify and understand other people’s emotions

Do:
1. Show interest & be attentive

2. Act as a sounding board

3. Be patient

4. Act like mirror, reflecting what the speaker is saying or feeling

5. Nod your head & use positive facial expressions

6. Reflect back to the speaker to ensure you understand how they are feeling

7. Encourage the person to tell you more

Don’t:

1. Dismiss feelings, “It is not that bad”

2. Judge, “Oh, you shouldn’t have done that!”

3. Interrupt

4. Ask a lot of questions

5. Change the subject

6. Teach

7. Advice
Lecture 9 Interpersonal conflicts:

Principles of interpersonal conflict:

1. Conflict is natural in most western relationships- reminds us that there are

connections between people and we are involved with one another.

2. Conflict may be expressed overtly or covertly.

3. Conflict is universal : is the physical or mental struggle that comes from perception.

4. Conflict is associated with incompatible goals: Recognize what the other’s goals are

and how to meet both sets of goals at the same time.

5. Conflict is associated with scarce resources: the idea of priorities, different needs

and ( Maslow’s )

6. Conflict is associated with interference: the perception that the other person or

persons are interfering with your progress toward your goals.

 7. Conflict is not a sign of a poor relationships: relationships can be the most rewarding

experiences.

8. Conflict cannot be avoided: use your good communication skills to address rather

than confront or avoid.

9. Conflict cannot always be resolved: communicating your understanding of other

point of view.

10. Conflict is not always bad: we are connecting with different languages, cultures ,

thoughts , hopes and dreams.

Process of interpersonal conflict

1- Before the conflict: use logic and emotion to make decisions, plan activities and

interact with each other

2- During the conflict: people perceive that conflict happen and then find a way to solve

it.

3- After the conflict: this stage you have shared your thoughts, also conceder who win.

Conflict managing styles:

1- Non confrontational: Avoidance

- change subject or taking a step back to create more space or leave the room
 2- Confrontational: the tendency to confront rather than avoid or cooperate to resolve

conflict

3- Cooperative: some people choose to view conflict as a challenge and focus on solving

the problem. This approach focuses on the problem and not the person as a problem.

Advantages and disadvantages of conflict

1- to not be alone

2- meet the need for stimulation

3- To learn about your self

4- To learn about others

5- Enhance your self-esteem

6- Pressure to self – disclose

7- One person’s behavior influences another’s

8- Sharing of time, energy, and possibly resources

9- Openness to risk of physical and psychological harm.

Methods for managing conflict

1. Avoidance

2. Active fighting

3. Defensiveness/ Supportiveness

4. Face- Detracting and face – saving strategies

5. Empathy

6. Gunny sacking and your backpack

7. Fair Fighting

8. Emotion Management

9. Information evaluation
 10. Problem Management

Improving interpersonal communication

1. Accept conflict (Natural, unavoidable and sign for change)

2. Be calm

3. Listen actively

4. Analyze the conflict

5. Choose your words

6. Work together

7. Share your interests

8. Be creative and be specific

9. Search for a common goal

Lecture 10 CV writing:

1. Word or PDF file

2. Send CV as an attachment and the covering letter body of e-mail

3. Printed with quality, on quality paper, possibly cream or pale blue

4. Font type and size Arial 12 or Calibri 11

5. One-page long, one sided

6. Single-line spacing; readability

CV writing Do’s:

1. Arrange with the most recent on top

2. Use bullet points

3. Use action words

4. Be concise – leave a little something for the interview

5. Be positive – list your top achievements

 6. Be accurate

7. Proofread for spelling and grammar

8. Include a covering letter

CV writing don’ts:

1. Don’t write the word “CV” on the CV

2. Don't include information related to gender, nationality, religion, marital status, or

age

3. Don't include a photo unless requested

4. Don't use abbreviations

5. Covering letter:

Should be around half a page

6. Should be personalized

7. Should include:

8. The job you are applying for

9. Where you found out about it

10. Why you are interested

11. Why the company attracts you

12. Summarize your strengths

13. Relate your skills to the competencies required for the job

14. Dates you are available to start

15. Thank the employer

CV sections:

Personal data: name, address, call, e-mail

Career objective:
 1. Area of interest

2. Employment level

3. Type of employment

4. Type of employer

5. Objective

Educational background:

1. Degree – mention GPA unless poor

2. Institution

3. Dates

Summary of qualifications

1. Courses studied that relate to the job

2. Researchers conducted

Work experience:

1. Summer internships

2. Ordinary work should be mentioned in an inviting way

3. Start and end dates

Interests and achievement

1. Range of interests

2. Out-of-ordinary hobbies

3. Interests related to the job

4. Evidence of leadership

5. Evidence of employability skills

Skills:

1. Languages and proficiency level

 2. Computer

References:

1. Two references

2. Furnished upon request

Sample:

1. Educational Background

Bachelor of Arts, Faculty of Communication and Mass Media, The British University in Egypt,

2018

Interview skills: Do’s

2. Research the employer

3. Prepare and practice

4. Dress for success

5. Arrive 10 minutes earlier

6. Make good first impression for everyone

7. Use formality

8. Hand shake firmly

9. Maintain eye contact

10. Apply nonverbal communication wisely

11. Watch the way you are sitting

12. Listen before answering

13. Focus on answering the interview questions and give examples whenever applicable

14. •Ask clarifying questions

15. •Ask insightful questions about the job

 16. •Sell yourself throughout, focus on strengths and don't criticize yourself

17. •Close the deal

18. •Thank the interviewer(s)

Interview don’t

1. Don't smoke or chew gum

2. Don't take anyone with you to the interview

3. Don't allow your cell phone to sound during the interview

4. Don't exhibit frustration for long job searches

5. Don't flick your hair or adjust your clothing

6. Don't fake or lie

7. Don't make excuses

8. Don't give the impression that you are only interested in the organization for a trivial

reason

9. Don't discuss the salary unless initiated by the interviewer

Top 10 qualities employer seeks:

1- Communication skills (Verbal and written)

2- Honesty
3- Team work skills
4- Interpersonal skills
5- Strong work Ethic
6- Motivation
7- Flexibility
8- Analytical skills
9- Computer skills
10- Organizational skills