Soft Skills Training Division-Orient

Academy

Personality Development

1. An introduction

2. Looking at your own personality:

2.1 In a theoretical point of view, core and peripheral personality

2.2 Identifying weaknesses and strengths of the personality
2.3 Parts of the personality in accordance with “Johari window”

3. Different attitudes of the people: negative and positive;

3.1 Understanding negative attitudes

3.2 Cultivating positive attitudes

4. Communication and personality:

4.1 Different types of communication: passive, aggressive,

assertive
4.2 Assertiveness is the only way?
4.3 Fundamentals of effective
 Acquiring the basic skills
 Developing confidence
 Getting the right approach
 Vitalizing the talk
 Sharing the talk with the audience
 Making the talk to convince
 Making impromptu talks
4.4 The art of communicating
• Organizing
• Delivering
• Applying what you have learned

5. Personality and consumption:

5.1 Commodities consumption and etiquettes

5.2 “The arts” plays a vast role in your personality: literature,
films, stage dramas, songs and so on

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6. How to handle people

Fundamental techniques
Making people like you
Winning people
Changing people

7. Stopping worrying and starting living

Fundamental facts
Basic techniques
The perfect way to conquer worry
Preventing fatigue
8. Personal goals and synergy
9. Cognitive psychology and personality
10. Facing the interviews with outstanding personality

An introduction

Personality can be defined as a dynamic and organized set of

characteristics possessed by a person that uniquely influences his or
her cognitions, motivations, and behaviors in various situations
(Ryckman, 2004). The word "personality" originates from the Greek
persona, which means mask. Significantly, in the theatre of the ancient
Latin-speaking world, the mask was not used as a plot device to
disguise the identity of a character, but rather was a convention
employed to represent or typify that character.

The pioneering American psychologist, Gordon Allport (1937) described

two major ways to study personality, the nomothetic and the
idiographic. Nomothetic psychology seeks general laws that can be
applied to many different people, such as the principle of self-
actualization, or the trait of extraversion. Idiographic psychology is an
attempt to understand the unique aspects of a particular individual.
The study of personality has a rich and varied history in psychology,
with an abundance of theoretical traditions. Some psychologists have
taken a highly scientific approach, whereas others have focused their
attention on theory development. There is also a substantial emphasis
on the applied field of personality testing with people.

Looking at your own personality

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Personality has been understood in different ways and also it has been
studied in Psychology, Sociology, Philosophy and some other subjects.
After having empirical researches, they have come up with theories of
the personality such as trait theories, type theories, psychoanalytic
theories, behaviorist theories, cognitive theories and so on.
Sigmund Freud is the foremost figure in psychoanalytic theory of the
personality. He divides the human personality into three areas viz: Id,
Ego and Super ego. He also proposed five psycho-sexual stages of
personality development:

1. Oral period
2. Anal period
3. Phallic period
4. Latency period
5. Puberty period

They have been broadly defined in this manner;

Infantile Stage - Birth until four to five years

a.) Oral Stage - birth to approximately eighteen months
b.) Anal Stage - eighteen months to three years
c.) Phallic Stage - between three and five
Latency Period - roughly from six years to puberty
Genital Stage - adolescence and adulthood

Trait theory of personality recognizes something else

According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of the American

Psychiatric Association, personality traits are "enduring patterns of
perceiving, relating to, and thinking about the environment and oneself
that are exhibited in a wide range of social and personal contexts."
Theorists generally assume that

a) Traits are relatively stable over time,

b) Traits differ among individuals (e.g. some people are outgoing while
others are shy), and

c) Traits influence behavior.

The most common models of traits incorporate three to five broad

dimensions or factors. The least controversial dimension, observed as
far back as the ancient Greeks, is simply extraversion vs. introversion

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(outgoing and physical-stimulation-oriented vs. quiet and physical-
stimulation-averse).

• Gordon Allport delineated different kinds of traits, which he

also called dispositions. Central traits are basic to an individual's
personality, while secondary traits are more peripheral.
Common traits are those recognized within a culture and thus
may vary from culture to culture. Cardinal traits are those by
which an individual may be strongly recognized.

• Lewis Goldberg proposed a five-dimension personality model,

nicknamed the "Big Five":

1. Extraversion - outgoing and stimulation-oriented vs. quiet and

stimulation-avoiding
2. Neuroticism - emotionally reactive, prone to negative emotions
vs. calm, imperturbable, optimistic
3. Agreeableness - affable, friendly, conciliatory vs. aggressive,
dominant, disagreeable
4. Conscientiousness - dutiful, planful, and orderly vs. laidback,
spontaneous, and unreliable
5. Openness to experience - open to new ideas and change vs.
traditional and oriented toward routine

Weaknesses and Strengths of the personality

No personality is perfect in the world so that it should be understood

relatively. Weaknesses and strengths are the formations of the
personality. Weaknesses and strengths both should be understood for
a better personality. Most probably, weaknesses and strengths are
contextual as well as unique. Therefore we don’t have either concrete
weaknesses or strengths in every personality. It implicates that the
absence of universality in weaknesses and strengths. And also it
doesn’t say that there are no universal weaknesses at all. In a
particular community, there can be some identified common features
as weaknesses and strengths of the personality. Whatsoever the
context, as humans, we have to make efforts to understand our
weaknesses and strengths, particularly in the professional world it
would bring more benefits in order to overcome weaknesses and
cultivate moreover strengths. We have to be very frank to rectify our
weaknesses, once we found them or somebody pointed out them.
Understanding our weaknesses is half of the solution to overcome that
particular weakness. Once we understood them, we should
concentrate upon that as a gradual practice to overcome it. We are
able to understand some weaknesses and strengths through “Johari
window”.

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It is crystal clear that most of the Sri Lankans have not recognized
what they can and can’t do. Therefore, they have messed up their
professions too. Announcers are singing while singers are announcing,
politicians are acting while actors and actresses doing politics. If these
are pointed out by someone, they are getting angry so that they will
never get rid of their blind self but they should.

Parts of the personality in accordance with “Johari window”

This theory was formulated by two psychologists in America in order to

understand the parts of human personality. This theory has been
named by considering inventors names. They were Joseph Luft and
Harry Ingham. A four paned "window" of this theory explains human
interaction in a broad manner.

Known to Not known to

self self
Known to others
OPEN BLIND

Not known to
others HIDDEN UNKNOWN

These four quadrants cover whole personality of the people. The first
quadrant represents open self. Open self in the sense the area has got
self to know and the others as well. For example, my name can be
considered since it known to me and others too. Extrovert people have
a big portion of open-self whereas introvert people have a small
portion of open-self. The second quadrant of the window shows blind
area. This area is known to others but not to yourself. For example,
some selfish personalities don’t know that they are selfish but it is
visible to the others. Sometimes, the others would point out these
blind areas, then, if you are frank enough to light up them, you can
aggrandize your open-self. What does it implicate? The first quadrant
of the window will be broader rather than earlier it was. It allows
people to develop their personality by understanding themselves. The
red colored third quadrant shows hidden-self of the people. That
particular area is extremely known to you but not for the others. For
example, when you convey some personal stories that are relevant to
you, such as romantic affairs: they are edited in a way that brings
benefits towards yourself. You retain something which is extremely
limited to you. You never convey them to the others. The last quadrant
is unknown-self. This certain area doesn’t allow either you or to the

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others understand themselves. Since this unknown-self, people ever
can’t understand themselves as they wished.

Different attitudes of the people

What is attitude?

How do we define?

It is our mental response towards people, objects, colors, smell and

taste. By looking at nature of our mental response towards above
mentioned stuffs, there are two kinds of attitudes.

1. Positive attitudes
2. Negative attitudes

Positive attitudes have been defined in many ways in the modern

world in order to achieve some personal goals of the people who are
using this concept as a business fact. Since these influences, most of
the people believe that positive thinking as a matter of thinking about
all the things in a positive way. But it goes beyond that belief. For
example, if you fell into a pot hole while you walk on the way, you
would never say “that’s fine” but you may try to avoid it tactically.

So, positive attitudes comes from your mental process in a way you
response to the others and the other mentioned stuffs above. If your
mental response towards the people is bad, you have negative
attitudes whereas of it is good you have positive attitudes towards
people. There are some fruit’s smells that you hate. That is your
negative response towards that smell, in the sense negative attitudes.
We, come across people who always respond negatively for almost
everything. Also we hear some common utterances such as “I hate
him”, “I don’t like her”, “he is very bad” and so on. What do these
utterances indicate? There are absolutely good and bad people. But
we don’t find these pure people in the world.

We should be able to minimize our negative response particularly

towards people and cultivate positive response. But we know that we
are unable to get rid of all negative responses all of a sudden. The
aspect is minimizing as much as possible those negative responses
while maximizing positive responses. There were and are great
celebrities who won the world through their positive attitudes
particularly towards objects and people. Amidst many difficulties, there

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are people who have accomplished their goals through positive mental
efforts.

Communication and personality

Communication style of the people plays a vast role in personality.

When we consider it as a degree, the biggest portion of the personality
is communication. It reflects almost all parts of the personality. It
shows our attitudes as well since it is biggest realization of our mental
response. We can communicate in variety of ways. The relationship
that we are going to have with others totally depends on our
communication style. If it is so rude, we can have rude relationships
with the others. However people have three milestones of their
communication styles. viz;

1. Passive or submissive communication

2. Assertive communication
3. Aggressive communication

There are some personalities when communicate loose their

personality due to the tone of the voice is too meek. That is called
passive or submissive communication. If somebody is able to
communicate with the others while respecting to the others without
loosing his or her personality, that is assertive communication. It
doesn’t hurt to the others. If somebody communicates in an autocratic
manner without considering others while hurting to the receiver, is
called aggressive communication.

When we ask that “what are you doing”? The tone of the voice conveys
type of the communication.

If it is too low -submissive

If it is too high -aggressive

In between these -assertive

Assertiveness is the best and only way to achieve the

success. Assertiveness reflects our ability to express positive and
negative ideas in a honest, open and direct way while balancing the
others views and perspectives.

Some typical advantages of assertiveness:

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Improves interpersonal relationships

Reduces conflicts

Reduces other’s anxiety (who are listening to you)

Enhances self esteem

Retain self respect

Minimizes stress

Feel good about ourselves

Leads to mutual respect

Helps to achieve goals

Minimizes hurting and alienating other people

Enables decision making capacity

Allows expressing wide range of verbal and non-verbal, positive

as well as negative thoughts and feelings

Amendment for assertiveness:

In addition to communication aspects, assertiveness also deals

with non-verbal communication. Your typical postures such as
the way that you move when you talk and have eye contacts,
decide your assertiveness. In order to be an assertive one,
always monitor your verbal and non-verbal communication with
a positive intention.

Consumption and Personality

Whatsoever the community, it has their own practices of commodities

consumption. There are norms for commodity consumption in the
society. People have formalized some norms for foods consumption
including etiquettes. But we don’t have universal etiquettes. Those
etiquettes have been formalized particularly by ancestors of the
societies and by the religions. Here the paramount attention is paid to
non-food consumption and personality. Particularly on the arts and
literature. In, arts and literature, we can observe two schools as classic
and popular. Even in culture, we are able to observe these two schools.
When somebody consumes popular arts and literature while practicing

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the same culture, their personalities represent popular culture. So they
can be recognized as too inartistic and narrow minded personalities.

The arts plays a vast role in people’s personality.

When we consume the arts and literature, they help to build our
personality whereas they corrupt our personality too. So, we should
be careful in finding the right which doesn’t corrupt our personality. To
be specific, we are able to look at the current trend of the young crowd
towards arts in Sri Lanka. Films, songs, stage dramas and other
performing arts have been playing a considerable role in people’s
personality but not towards positive outcomes that is towards negative
outcomes. It is obvious that they don’t enrich our mind set or any other
spiritual part of the personality. This doesn’t convey that all the
popular arts to be neglected and classical things to be acquired. We
have to be logical in consuming the arts in order to get something into
our personality.

How to prepare CVs

Components of a modern CV:

• Heading
• Name and contact details
• Job objectives and career goals
• Skills and competencies
• Academic achievements
• Professional frame work
• Experiences
• Other relevant efforts (Extra curricular…)
• Personal particulars
• Referees
• Declaration
• Date and signature
• Photograph (optional)

What should come first?

Traditional CV formats were included personal particulars first

but nowadays that comes most lately. The first and foremost part
should be the heading:

E.g. Resume of Kanchana Perera

The second component is to be contact details. That can be either E-

mail, telephone number or postal address. But it is more advisable to

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put e-mail or telephone number since trough them can be contacted
easily.

E.g. E-mail:kanchana@yahoo.com

Telephone: 011291919191

287,

Mahara,

Kadawata.

As the third component, we have to include Job objectives and career

goals. Here, the job objectives and career goals to be distinguished
very clearly as two different areas: job objectives are short term
objectives on the career track whereas career goal means ultimate
goal on the career track that has been intended. Either objective or
career goal is to be included in a clear and very visible manner.

Next come skills and competencies; in this part, we should stress our
foremost skills and competencies relevant to the job. Particularly, we
can concentrate on self management skills. This is the prominent part
of the CV since nowadays most of the organizations look for the
candidates who are equipped with skills and competencies.

These are the typical self management skills that are important and
applicable into the current job market:

Leadership

Positive thinking

Self Motivated

Persistency

Ambitious

Team working

Dynamic

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Risk taking

Coordinating

Dedication

Enthusiasm

Effective communication

Consciousness

Assertiveness

Problem solving

Decision making

Out of these, you should find a few skills that are being practiced by
yourselves and put them into the CV in an attractive manner.

Here onwards, academic achievements, professional qualifications and

working experiences to be put according to the job requirement.
Sometimes you have to take first your experiences if the vacancy has
focused on that fact, whereas if it is on either academic or professional
qualifications, then it is to be taken first.

How to Face the Interviews with an Outgoing Personality

Things to be done before the Interview:

1. Confirm the company that you will attend

2. Research the job
a. The job description
b. The job specification
3. Research the company
a. The company profile
b. Contacts inside the company
c. Company directors
4. Research the interview
a. Procedure
b. Tests
c. The interviewers
5. Read your cv/application before the interview.

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6. Think about what questions are likely to be asked and practice
your answers.
Remember that the interviewer is trying to find out five
things:
o Can she/he do the job?
o Do she/he have the skills, knowledge, competencies and
attitudes
o Will she/he able to get on with me?
o Will she/he fitting to the existing team?
o Will she/he be able to loyal to me?
7. Make a list of questions you want to ask
a. What kind of functions do I have to do?
b. Career advancement opportunities
c. Enhancement of professional qualifications
8. Choose smart appropriate clothing
a. Feel comfortable
b. Neat and tidy (well fitting)
9. Make sure you know exactly where the interview will be held
10. Check your route.

Making Good Impression

Things to do:

The first impression goes a long way. The following will help you to
create a good impression of the interviewer.

1. Arrive on time (15 minutes earlier)

2. While you waiting, be polite and friendly to all and use the time
to read company magazines or any other to collect information
regarding the company.
3. Where you go in, smile and say “Good morning/afternoon”
(Greetings)
4. Shake hand with the interviewers, make it firm
5. Sit up straight, and lean slightly forward in your chair.
6. Eye contact is most important.
7. Avoid straight “Yes/No” answers
8. Listen carefully to questions, speak clearly and stack to the point
9. Ask to clarifications if you don’t have understand the question
10. Take time to think before you answering
11. Never say “it is given in my CV”
12. Show your enthusiasm by keeping an interested
expression.
13. Be positive about your skills and achievements
14. When given the opportunity to ask questions, ask only
intelligent and considered questions.

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Things not to do:

Don’t
1. Rub the back of your head or neck. Even if you really do just
have a cramp in your neck, these gestures make you look
disinterested.
2. Rub or touch your nose, this suggests that you are not being
completely honest, and it’s gross.
3. Sit with your armed folded across your chest; you will appear
unfriendly and disengaged.
Preparing for the Interview

Practicing answers to following common questions:

1. “Tell us about your self”

2. “What do you want to be in your life?”
“What sort of person do you want to be in life?”
“What are your ambitions in life?”
3. “What are your strengths/weaknesses?”
“What has been your greatest achievement?”
“Are tempered or cool?”
4. “Why should you get the job?”
“What makes you think you are the best person for the job?”
5. “Why do you want to work here?”
“What do you know about the company?”
“What do you think of the company?”
6. “How do you get on with your supervisors/colleagues?”
“Have you ever had problems with colleagues/customers?”
7. “What do you like to be doing in 5 years time?”
8. “What salary do you expect to receive?”
9. “Why did you leave your last employer?”
10. “Suppose you are selected for this job, when do you think
you can start the job?”
11. “Suppose you are selected for this job, how do you plan to
come to work?”

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