1

From a lock down

diaries
Best
Collection

2
“ If there's one important lesson that COVID 19 has taught us, apart from exposing our fragility and
stupidity as a race, it is that these hitherto unsung, unacknowledged professionals are the soldiers of
the future. It has, hopefully, taught us that whereas boots on the ground will always be needed, the
next millenium  belongs to biological, economic and cyber warfare; while protecting our borders may
still be required, the real challenge will be in protecting our ways of life, our natural environment, the
health of communities; while Pakistan may continue to be enemy no. 1, the real enemy will be our
inability to accept that the world will have changed irrevocably after this virus, and that we too need
to change our politically expedient definition of patriotism. One doesn't have to wear a uniform, or
march to the rhythms of jackboots, or chant Jai Shri Ram to be a patriot. Of course, our armed forces
will always occupy pride of place, but they now have to share this space with others on the new front
lines of the new dangers.
  So it's not enough to clap or bang pots and pans for two minutes to express our theoretical
gratefulness to the many who are preventing our health and economy from collapsing. What is needed
is to discard this deviant concept of a militarised patriotism, recognise the new warriors and realign
national resources so that the real patriots are better equipped to defend our ancient civilisation and
modern economy. As Mark Lawrence Schrad, the American author and Professor of Sociology hopes,
in an insightful article in the POLITICO magazine: " Perhaps, too, we will finally start to understand
that patriotism is cultivating the health and life of your community, rather than blowing up someone
else's community."
-avay
   If there's one important lesson that COVID 19 has taught us, apart from exposing our fragility and
stupidity as a race, it is that these hitherto unsung, unacknowledged professionals are the soldiers of
the future. It has, hopefully, taught us that whereas boots on the ground will always be needed, the
next millenium  belongs to biological, economic and cyber warfare; while protecting our borders may
still be required, the real challenge will be in protecting our ways of life, our natural environment, the
health of communities; while Pakistan may continue to be enemy no. 1, the real enemy will be our
inability to accept that the world will have changed irrevocably after this virus, and that we too need
to change our politically expedient definition of patriotism. One doesn't have to wear a uniform, or
march to the rhythms of jackboots, or chant Jai Shri Ram to be a patriot. Of course, our armed forces
will always occupy pride of place, but they now have to share this space with others on the new front
lines of the new dangers.
  So it's not enough to clap or bang pots and pans for two minutes to express our theoretical
gratefulness to the many who are preventing our health and economy from collapsing. What is needed
is to discard this deviant concept of a militarised patriotism, recognise the new warriors and realign
national resources so that the real patriots are better equipped to defend our ancient civilisation and
modern economy. As Mark Lawrence Schrad, the American author and Professor of Sociology hopes,
in an insightful article in the POLITICO magazine: " Perhaps, too, we will finally start to understand
that patriotism is cultivating the health and life of your community, rather than blowing up someone
else's community."
Avay Shukla”

INDEX
1 introduction 5
2 8
The lock down diaries (i)- crosswords and the stranger in the

3
 house.

3 10
The lock down diaries(ii)- missing politicians and mistaken
identities.

4 11
The lock down diaries( iii)-- scraps won't do, it's time for
universal basic income

5 12
the lock down diaries (iv)- every dog has his day

6 The lock down diaries ( v)- killing us with kindness or confusion 17

7 22
The lock down diaries( vi): is Bharat turning its back on India?

8 26
The lock down diaries( vii)- a toast to the new spirit of India

9 28
The lock down diaries (viii)--feel a little shame for the lost soul
of a nation.

10 30
The lock down diaries ( ix )- fighting the virus on a wing, a
prayer and an acronym.

11 33
The lockdown diaries (x)- the enlightening fruits of "tapasya"

12 36
The lock down diaries (xi)- the next pandemic could well be "
made in India"

13 The lockdown diaries ( xii): himachal's tourism dilemma and 39

4
 the parable of the third BIR

Dear friends

COLLECTION OF 13 THOUGHTFUL ARTICLES FROM THE LOCK

DOWN DIARIES AUTHORED BY AVAY SHUKLA - A RETIRED
OFFICER FROM INDIAN ADMINISTRATIVE SERVICE IN DECEMBER
2010

At the outset I'm grateful to my many friends for their thoughtful responses to many of my
posts during lock down period. It's comforting to know that we're going crazy together. 

In democratic politics, the practice of critique mediated through the act of dissent plays an
important role in controlling and rectifying the political tendencies that seek to undermine
democratic values. The role of informed critique becomes absolutely crucial for saving
democracy from degenerating into despotism. In despotism, there is the need to immunise
political dominance from everyday threats of dissent and resistance from the margin and
opposition from the political rivals.
Paradoxically, a democratically formed government, but with authoritarian intentions, usually
deals with dissent not with the force of sound arguments, but by using against the dissenting
voices resources such as contempt, ridicule and insult, which are trivial in their essence.
Thus, the dignity of the argument is compromised with debasement that is regularly used to
neutralise dissent. This moral element is starkly absent in contemporary Indian politics.
Alongside, the authoritarian government and its supporters seek to silence the dissent through
the use of coercive methods, such as entangling the dissenting person into legal litigation.
Finally, and most importantly, such a government seeks to separate people both from each
other through planting communal dissension and also from argument through the overuse of
ideologically self-serving rhetoric. In contemporary India, do we have governments that work
only for representation rather than transcendence?
Critique coming particularly from radical elements, arguably involves the promise of seeking
transcendence in the embattled common life through powerful argument and effective action.
Radical critique, in the ideal sense, suggests the need to move away from representation that
defines the existence of identity politics on the one hand and the politics of the majority
community on the other. Right-wing political parties, in the event of a counterclaim
forwarded by their rivals, do assert that they have an authentic claim over the representation
of members belonging to a particular religious group. At the root of communal division is the
parochial, ideological claim of representing a particular socio-religious group that tends to
survive and reproduce itself in the stock ideology.
Such narrow claims of representation based on stock ideology are the hurdles in achieving
transcendence or normative shift in people’s settled consciousness.
The question that is much more important is: Does the argument from the radical achieve this
transcendence or does it also remain stuck at the level of representation, rhetorically
representing the interest of the identity groups?

5
The critique that is externally courageous against the authoritarian government, however,
remains internally weak for the following reasons.
First, it fails to expand the social basis of the practice of critique so as to include those on
whose behalf it claims to be active against the authoritative government. It makes the issue a
specialised activity of a selective group of dissenters who claim to be politically correct.
Second, the radicals, at this level, tend to arrogate to themselves legislative authority to
prescribe what is an adequate and inadequate degree of critique. Such radicals seem to use
their requisite sense to suggest that launching the critique of tormenting forces worldwide
from a particular standpoint is “so far so good” but not adequate. Thus, there is an element of
temporality involved in this sense, which then tends to suggest that the critique is not yet
complete as it leaves out from its gaze other tormenting forces. We often hear such grudges
from the radicals who claim to represent the minorities and Dalits in India. It could be argued
that the radical critique slides down from the transductal project of speaking for the universal
to practically representing the identity groups. Their capacity to critique gets pragmatically
confined to embattled groups, such as the Adivasis, Dalits and minorities. The validity of the
critical practice of the radicals ironically depends on the reciprocal antagonism between the
radical and the conservative forces. The critical energies of the radical thus enter a deadlock,
with right-wing politics that works along the line of a block ideology. Since the communal
ideology of the right-wing forces has to be continuously at work, the critique from the left has
to be active, and it has been active since the origin of the stock ideology. But, the critical
practice of the radical runs the risk of working only through the block or reified argument
without any emancipatory opening. Critique acquires a therapeutic quality to rectify and
purify the responses by freeing them from the deadlock. Critique, in such a sense, acquires a
transcendental quality. Critique as reason has to be active at both ends, that is to say,
embattled people have reasons to offer resistance at both levels.
In a serial of xiii articles under the heading lockdown diaries this bold critic ,an of officer
who retired from the Indian Administrative Service in December 2010ahs torn apart the false
claim of the government in power summing up their lockdown and unlock down
mismanagement as DISTORTING THE FACTS ZERO SUM GAME. Kindly go through the
same and arrive at your judgment, Of facts disengaging facts from falsehood.
Love
A citizen’s posit
22-6-2020"
Umar bhar Ghalib yahi bhool karta raha,
Dhool chehre par thi, aur aina saaf karta raha."

  Actually, this piece is not just about me- it's also about you, dear reader. Look into that
cracked mirror. Do you feel any shame, just a little , for what we have become, for the lost
soul of a once great nation?  

About the author of lock down diaries Mr Avay Shukla

6
The author retired from the Indian Administrative Service in December 2010. A keen
environmentalist and trekker he has published a book on high altitude trekking in the
Himachal Himalayas: THE TRAILS LESS TRAVELLED. He writes for various publications
and websites on the environment, governance and social issues. He divides his time between
Delhi and his cottage in a small village above Shimla. He used to play golf at one time but
has now run out of balls. He has published his second book- SPECTRE OF CHOOR
DHAR( a collection of short stories based on the myths and fables of Himachal)- in July
2019.

THE LOCK DOWN DIARIES (I)- CROSSWORDS AND THE STRANGER IN THE
HOUSE.

7
  " Age doth not wither nor custom stale her infinite variety."
This is how Enobarbus described Cleopatra in Shakespeare's classic, but if he had been
hanging around with me today in my locked down flat instead of partying with Antony and
Cleopatra, I have no doubt at all that this is exactly how he would have described our Prime
Minister. Mr. Modi never ceases to surprise, and the only predictable thing about him is that
he is unpredictable! These, and a few other home truths, have now dawned on me after 12
days of the intense meditation prescribed under the Epidemic Act. Time to share them with
you before I jump out of my second floor window, having exhausted my stock of Wills and
Blender's Pride.
   The man is a maestro: just look at how he has turned symbols of protest into tokens of
support for his leadership: lighting of candles, beating of pots and pans, self imposed janata
curfews. He has appropriated this idiom as his own, just as he has taken over the opposition's
vote banks, the Congress's historical icons, Gandhi's spectacles, even America's

"Howdy"! There are no modes of protest left for us! He's done his own SWAT analysis, and
by converting his Weaknesses into his Strengths, he has swatted the opposition into
mumbling incoherence. The coronavirus is a grave threat to national leaders across the world,
but for Mr. Modi it's a god send in the midst of a collapsed economy, Shaheen Bagh, CAA,
Kashmir, legal challenges to its constitutional overreach, and a feisty Mahua Moitra. Rest
assured these will now be brushed under the carpet ( well, okay, not her) by the broom  of a
renewed nationalism. He is now the Messiah who will save the nation, the  Vast Anti Virus,
the Moses who will lead his peoples to a safe haven ( minus, of course, the millions who have
already left on their own, trudging back to their villages). He has us in thrall. Therefore, after
much tossing and turning in my unmade bed, I've decided to support whatever  symbolic
gesture he demands of us next; I have a feeling it will be the bucket next time- everybody line
up in the street, one meter apart, and kick the bucket ! We all have to do this some day, so
might as well do it now and save the nation. 
  There is much I have learnt in these last two weeks, and the gaps in my rudimentary
education have more or less been filled up, thank you. A three bed room, 1500 sq. feet flat,
for example, is not a small flat if you have to mop and broom the floor everyday: I'm now
content with my humble lot and thank the Lord I don't have a mansion on Aurangzeb road.
Domestic violence in a quarantined space is gender neutral and not just a problem for women,
as the National Women's Commission seems to think. A human being CAN survive without
Food Panda and Swiggy's but he cannot without Netflix. Sections of the electronic media
have sunk to the Mariana Trench levels, piggy backing on the corona virus to spread their
communalism. The demand for hand sanitisers ( 60% alcohol) has gone up because all the
"thekas" have closed- expect something similar to happen soon with nail polish removers and
after-shave. Except in Kerala and West Bengal that is, where liqour is now being home
delivered as an "essential commodity"- hang your digital heads in shame Big Basket and
Amazon Prime ! Don't get too excited about that other woman in your flat- she is your wife,
she just looks different after all those missed visits to the hairdresser and beautician. There's
more in my revised syllabus.
  Talking to your dog or cat is normal after one week, but you may have a problem if they
start answering you. Talk to your pots and pans only after the second week. One doesn't have
to use Harpic in the toilet bowl after four days of the lock down: the soap and disinfectant
you use twenty times a day would have worked its way into your pee by then and it will do
the job. And here's a revelation- Osama bin Laden was not killed by the US navy seals: he
committed suicide after being locked up for five years in a house with five wives. The
physical dynamics of sweeping and mopping are totally different- in the former you move

8
forward, in the latter the movement is backwards. On the 15th of April, all Indian males will
belong to one of two categories: cooks or drunks. And here's a warning for all men: if you
have some hidden cooking skills, don't show them off because you'll just be cooking your
own goose. Remember, there will be a life after the lockdown, and your wife would have
noted your talent. In which case you will be wishing that the virus had got you.
  I miss my daily newspaper, which has been banned by my Society because it may carry
pathogens more dangerous than what is contained in the news itself. However, it's not the
news I miss but the daily crossword. I was beginning to get pretty good at figuring out clues
like " Fat fish swallowed by a serviceman(9)" and " Sound clock gives correct time(4)". Since
I was almost brain dead during the 35 years spent in government, the crosswords reignited
my dormant telomeres and synapses and I could actually feel the ruddy things zapping each
other to find the answer to " roamed the street with ready change(7)." On a good day I could
nail them all, on other days I needed some help, like the Pope on a flight, immersed in a
crossword. The cardinals with him noticed that he was stuck on a particular word, licking his
pencil, deep in thought, his face turning red. After some time the Pope turned to a Monsignor
and asked: " I need some confirmation here: what is a four letter word, pertaining to a
woman, of which the last three letters are - UNT ?" The holy men squirmed: anyone who
supplied the obvious answer would surely lose his job. Finally, the youngest of the cardinals,
not yet steeped in sin, replied: " Your Holiness, that's easy- the word is AUNT." The Pope
looked surprised, and mumbled in a barely audible voice:  "But of course! By the way, do
you have an eraser?" Tricky things, these crosswords.
  Excuse me now, folks, it's time for me to take the garbage bag out to the gate. It's my only
daily outing and I'm really excited! I wonder if Neerja has ironed that suit I'd bought from
Marks and Spencer just before they were coronavirused ? 

[ I'm grateful to my many friends for some of the inputs. It's comforting to know that we're
going crazy together.] 

THE LOCK DOWN DIARIES(II)- MISSING POLITICIANS AND MISTAKEN

IDENTITIES.

  Notwithstanding the rising corona count, most people would agree that our civil services,
particularly in the districts, are doing a very fine job under extremely daunting circumstances.
The DMs, SPs and CMOs are making optimum use of a broken down system, poor
infrastructure, limited resources to successfully keep the numbers from reaching exponential
levels: this is more or less true across the country, to the surprise of many. And this is in spite
of poor planning and zero consultations with the states by the center. The Prime Minister will
of course take all the credit but it is the civil services which are delivering- not the PMO, not
the Cabinet- amidst the confusion and bankruptcy of ideas in Delhi. I personally cannot
remember the last time when the administration worked with such efficiency, cohesion and
single minded determination. There is only one reason why this has been possible- the
politicians are locked down! Just consider- when was the last time you saw ( or heard) any
member of Mr. Modi's cabinet, or of any state? Where are all those MPs, MLAs, Pradhans,
opposition stalwarts with their demands, protests, dharnas, rallies, threats, ultimatums,
interference ? All safely locked down in their mansions , in dread of both the law and the

9
virus; allowing the machinery of governance to focus on its job. India is a much better place
with the Giriraj Singhs, Sanjeev Baliyans, Owaisis and Kapil Mishras kept off the streets,
keeping their toxins  to themselves. It is not only the natural environment which has
improved thanks to the coronavirus but also the administrative and political environment.
Encouraged by this, I would earnestly request Mr. Modi to extend the lockdown for
politicians by at least six months after it is relaxed for the rest of the country. The pathogens
spread by them are far more lethal than any virus and our democracy has yet to find a vaccine
for them. Keep these carriers out of circulation for another six months and  we would have a
Swacch Bharat by then. Why, by then we might even develop some immunity from them.
    *                                        *                                        *                                      *                   
*

  Mr. Modi rarely condescends to explain to us humble citizens the reasons behind his
decisions, and the creation of the new fund, the eponymous PM CARES is one such. Which
is precisely one reason, among many, why I do not intend to contribute to it. Why did he have
to launch another donation portal when the Prime Minister's National Relief Fund , which
was set up in 1948, can do the job just as well? I suspect it is his narcissism that drives him to
leave his personal imprint on everything and destroy any legacy of his predecessors, not
unlike the kings of yore. The PMNRF was established by Jawaharlal Nehru and therefore has
to be sent to the chopping block: the first step has been taken to replace it completely with the
PM CARES. The new Fund is also totally opaque, no rules for it have been notified,
including for its oversight and audit. Why has it been allowed to accept CSR contributions
when the various Chief Minister's Relief Funds have been denied this concession? Will it be
covered under RTI Act ? Most observers feel it will not, as it is a public trust. To put it
simply, I don't trust it.
  Why was this fund needed at all, is my second question? If changes were needed in the
PMNRF ( like expanding its scope or removing the Congress President as one of its
Committee members) this could have been done by amendments to it. Our Prime Minister is
constantly in the JFK mode, advising us not to ask him what he is doing but to ask ourselves
what we are doing for the country. Which is okay when things are hunky dory but these are
not normal times. Before asking us to donate from our already stretched incomes, he should
have- he was duty bound- to tell us what steps he has taken to mobilise additional funds for
the epidemic from the govt. coffers. The govt. has plenty of money, if only it would jettison
some of his  fanciful projects, prioritise his govt. spending better, and show a modicum of
empathy for the poor. Here are some suggestions:
*  Scrap the Bullet train project; it has no place in an India where tens of millions have to
march hundreds of miles on foot to reach their homes. This will save Rs. 100,000 crores.
*  Scrap the Central Vista project in Delhi. It is an environmental and aesthetic disaster and
superfluous. The saving will be Rs. 20000 crore.
*  Scrap the Char Dham highway, another ecological calamity which, within a decade, will
destroy the holy sites of Kedarnath, Badrinath, Gangotri and Yamunotri under a tsunami of
cars and tourists. The savings- Rs. 11700 crores.
* Drastically curtail the PM's foreign visits and media self promotion, neither of which have
improved either our economy or our standing in the world. The savings will be at least Rs.
5000 crore.
*  Scrap the plans to build 100 new airports in the next four years at a cost of Rs.100,000
crore. It is expected that that there will be at least a 50-60% decline in air line bookings this
year( and perhaps the next also) and there is no need for this ambitious plan. The savings
would amount to Rs. 25000 crore every year.

10
*  Defer all new DA payments to govt. employees and pensioners for the next two years; they
are the most fortunate of this country's wretched citizens, with assured incomes, when about
400 million fellow citizens don't even know whether they will survive the next day, and it is
estimated that the pandemic will push an additional 175 million Indians below the poverty
line. The DA can certainly wait. This will save the GOI itself about Rs. 70000 crore and the
states at least the same amount over two years.
*  Declare a complete moratorium on recruitment for govt. jobs for two years, except for
essential services such as health, police, sanitation staff. The savings will be substantial.
* And why is the govt. so silent about the second windfall coming its way- the collapse of
global oil prices? They are down from about seventy dollars per barrel to thirty dollars. Every
dollar decline in crude prices results in a direct benefit of Rs. 10700 crores for India, at
current consumption levels. Even if we assume that consumption will fall by 40% because of
a slowing economy and lockdowns, the govt still saves Rs. 240000 crores, and that too in
precious foreign exchange.
* In a financial emergency ( which is our current status) the govt. also has access to the RBI's
reserve fund which currently amounts to about Rs. 950,000 crores. It should tap into this
immediately- right now the lives of millions of Indians are more valuable than the
"autonomy" of the RBI which in any case has been buried six feet under.
  The money is there, the correct priorities and intentions are not. But Mr. Modi will not
speak to us to allay our doubts and explain what he intends to do. And until he does so I'm
not too excited about PM CARES or doesn't care.
    *                                 *                                   *                                        *                             
*
   I don't know about you, folks, but I had my Omar Abdullah moment yesterday. I had gone
to the Mother Dairy booth just across our Society gate to buy some vegetables. The store
clerk totaled up my bill and said, respectfully, " Two hundred rupees, Auntie." Now, it's been
a while since anyone mistook me for a woman, or treated me like one:  the last occasion that I
can recollect was when I was about eight years old, in a Ranchi hostel, and had gone to the
warden for some medicine for a bruise on my head acquired in the boxing ring.The kind
hearted ( and slick fingered) Jesuit father insisted on checking, and feeling, my thighs to
arrive at a correct diagnosis before sending me on my way with a Saridon. I have since spent
60 years without encountering this medical diagnostic practice so I was, if not non-plussed, at
least not very plussed  at being addressed in the feminine gender. I looked in the mirror and
saw an Asiatic Dorian Grey kind of face with salt and pepper locks cascading down on both
sides, a hirsute parenthesis for the Shukla kisser, a reverse mirror image of Omar Abdullah
when he emerged after eight months of the traditional Modi hug. And then it struck me!- this
is what happens when forced confinement prevents you from getting sheared for any length
of time. The moustaches spoilt the picture somewhat but then that is par for the course too
these days- most women in Delhi too have sprouted whiskers after three weeks away from
Barbara and Kamini- I think these are what FICCI has mistaken for the "green shoots" in the
economy. I forgave the clerk, as is my wont, and returned home in a pensive frame of mind:
what if, the next time Mr. Amit Shah wants to embrace Omar Abdullah under PSA, the police
mistake me for him? In these troubled times, is it preferable to be mistaken for a woman than
for an Abdullah? Food for thought, folks, and another reason to stay at home till the barbers,
and the good days, return.
*                              *                                          *                                        *                             
*
TAILPIECE:  Lest we start feeling sorry for ourselves for our current incarcerated plight, be
humbled by the words of the poet:
         " Zara si kaid se ghutan hone lagi ?

11
           Hum to pancchi palne ke shaukeen thhe!"  

THE LOCK DOWN DIARIES( III)-- SCRAPS WON'T DO, IT'S TIME FOR
UNIVERSAL BASIC INCOME

   It is time to accept that the global mayhem currently playing out has not all been created by
the Coronavirus- it is a catalyst which has exposed the many problems that already existed-
chief among
 them being rampant ( and increasing) inequality, pathetic health care systems, lack of social
safety nets and environmental degradation. COVID 19 is not just a public health issue- it will
begin as one, but its real impact in times to come shall be on livelihoods, social structures,
economic models and our ways of life. Limiting myself to India, it is clear that if we don't
reform our governance immediately, we will be even more vulnerable to COVID 22 or 23
when it comes around again, as it inevitably shall. There is only so much dependence that can
be placed on Ayurveda, Pranayam, Yoga, lock downs and lighting of candles.
   Take the economic model that reigns supreme these days, and has since the 1990s- the neo
liberal capitalist theory. Its false Gods are GDP and the creation of wealth, never mind that
the top 1% of Indians own 51.3% of the national wealth, leaving only 4.8% for the bottom
60%; putting it another way, 12 million Indians own four times the wealth held by 953
million Indians ( OXFAM report, Davos 2020). The coronavirus is just a temporary nuisance
for the former, but a life and death issue for the latter, as the misery and mass suffering of
millions of migrants and abandoned labourers in Mumbai, Anand Vihar, Surat, Hyderabad,
etc testify to. It is expected that perhaps as many as 200 million additional Indians shall be
pushed below the poverty line this year, adding to the 250 million already there. Many will
not even be able to access the PDS rations because they are either migrants or do not have
ration cards; the collapsed economy will render tens of millions unemployed for a long time.
COVID has exposed the inequity and hollowness of the economic model we have been
following and it is time to throw out the billionaire with the bath water. It is public values,
and not private values, which should shape our economic planning; the distribution of wealth
is as vital as the creation of wealth, and the wretched must be given their rightful place at the
high table, they should have first claim to the nation's resources.
   Noam Chomsky, the American philosopher and linguist in an interview to DIEM TV
( which all of us must watch) does not mince his words. He ascribes the devastating
economic impact of COVID 19 to a " neo-liberal plague", a " savage neo-liberalism" the
script of which has been dictated to governments by their " corporate masters". In an
alarming aside he further warns that "authoritarian states are quite compatible with neo-
liberalism." We have seen enough evidence of this in India too, particularly over the last six
years. Corona is telling us that this mould has to be broken, the "Daridranarayan" of
Mahatma Gandhi, not the billionaire of Davos, must now become the focal point of all
economic planning. A country with more than a third of its population below the poverty line,

12
and with a current unemployment rate of 24% ( rising every day), cannot even think of any
other model.
   The time for Universal Basic Income( UBI) has arrived. What India's 800 million poor/
migrant/ landless population desperately needs now is a safety net, not just an uncertain 10
kgs of rice, which in any case is not available to the 139 million migrant workers ( Census
2011) who lack a ration card or even a BPL card. Leading economists and Nobel prize
winners have been imploring the central govt. to dispense with these requirements at a time
like this when starvation is just over the horizon, but the response would put a four toed sloth
to shame.
   UBI is already being tested on a pilot basis in some countries, but the time for clinical trials
is over and it must be implemented in the next few months. Vijay Joshi, an eminent Oxford
economist, has estimated in a study that giving Rs. 17500 to each household in India every
year would cost 3.5% of GDP or about Rupees seven lakh crores. A lot of this, however, can
be recouped by doing away with many non-merit subsidies which currently total up to 7.5%
of our GDP. Moreover, UBI does not have to be universal: it can be restricted to only the
BPL and the migrant workers, in which form its financial implication would be significantly
less. We already have the required digital and banking architecture to implement this- the
famed JAM trilogy of Jan Dhan, Aadhar and Mobiles; using it for welfare is much better than
employing it for surveillance. Combined with a more inclusive PDS, while the UBI cannot
prevent the poor from falling,  it can at least ensure that they will rise again some day when
the jobs return.
   Exiled by force from their jobs and the cities, almost the entire labour force has now
reverse- migrated to their villages, presenting a problematic irony: now that parts of the
economy are re-opening there are no workers to turn the wheels of commerce and industry.
There is no labour for agricultural operations, 85% of truck drivers have simply abandoned
their vehicles ( and freight) on the roads and fled, most construction labour have gone. In
their absence supply chains will remain disrupted, and resumption of industry and businesses
delayed, for months. The labour are not likely to return soon after their horrific experiences,
their fear of further indignities and uncertainties outstrips their fear of the virus.
Even if the inevitable prospect of starvation in the villages forces them to return, the same
script will be repeated when the next Corona strikes. To prevent a recurrence of the
humanitarian tragedy now playing out, it is imperative that they be assured of a minimum
income. Not ad -hoc, temporary doles but a permanent, assured income which will enable
them to weather any future storms, stay put, and resume working when the clouds have gone.
  Lack of financial resources can no longer be an alibi for the government to deny them a
UBI. A country which aspires to be a five trillion dollar economy cannot allow almost half its
population to wallow in poverty and live a life of extreme indignity. Our economic model can
no longer be dictated by corporates who have siphoned off ten lakh crore rupees under the
guise of NPAs- sufficient, if recovered, to fund UBI for the next five years. This is not just an
economic crisis, as Dalal Street would have us believe, but a civilisational crisis for the
country as a whole. Worse, it is an existential crisis for our poor: Ms Sitharaman may not
admit it, but it takes more than five hundred rupees a month, ten kilos of rice and a police
lathi to keep body and soul together. Ask that weeping young worker we all saw on TV at
Anand Vihar the other day, without any money, job or food; he just wanted to walk back
home in UP two hundred miles away but was not even being allowed to do that.
He has probably gone now but ask yourself- Why in hell should he want to come back? And
if he doesn't, then how in hell do we become a five trillion dollar economy?

13
THE LOCK DOWN DIARIES (IV)- EVERY DOG HAS HIS DAY

   Sex has been on my mind these last three weeks. Not of course as a practitioner or a voyeur
of the amorous art, but in a purely academic, dispassionate and distanced frame of mind.
Somewhat like that old bull let loose in a paddock, full of young bulls and cows happily
servicing each other 24X7, including gazetted holidays. The old bull would have no part of
this frolicking, till one of the younger ones asked him why? He replied: " I'm from the World

14
Bank, I only have Observer status." Ditto for me, minus the World Bank pension. And I have
a few observations to share with you about sex in the era of the lock down.
   You could not have failed to notice that these days the govt. and its various specialists have
been advising us on every aspect of life under quarantine: how to wash your hands, how to
sneeze or wipe your nose, how to stand in a queue, methods for disinfecting the house, how
to avoid depression, even how to beat pots and pans to the tune of Saare jahan se achha . But
not one has any advice on whether or not it is safe to have sex during lock down, and whether
social distancing includes sexual distancing- if so how so, if not why not? I've rechecked the
Prime Minister's Seven Steps three times but find no mention of it; Baba Ramdev has
maintained a stoic silence on the subject; the ICMR has given it a skip, even Mr. Kejriwal
only coughs ( into his right sleeve) when you ask him about it. The only sensible related
advice was conveyed to me by a neighbour who went to a doctor because he was having
trouble breathing. Ruling out COVID, the doc advised him:  "Avoid any excitement- have
sex with your wife only." Which may explain why I haven't had a heart attack yet but sheds
no light on why the Nitty Gritty Ayog is silent on the subject.
   In sharp contrast, the Belgium Health Minister lost no time in drawing her own Laxman
rekha: all "non-essential" sexual activity was banned, along with wife swapping, threesomes
and orgies, according to a report in the Worldnewsdailyreport.com. " Essential sex" with the
wife ( one's own) was permitted. We may however have a problem in adopting this in India.
For one, wives may object to including " essential sex" in the daily menu or even the Chef's
special; they may prefer to have it as part of a monthly ration under the PDS scheme, to be
dished out along with the pulses and cereals once a month ( provided you have an Aadhar
card), or even as a, well, one- off Diwali sop. Second, the wife swapping ban is a bit
superfluous under lock down conditions with three demographic dividends running riot in the
house( who know more about it than you and your ancestors ever did): when you can't make
it with your own wife, what chance is there that you'll have better luck with someone else's?
Orgies, of course, are a complete no-no, unless you want to invite the local SHO to it. But at
least there was some clarity. 
  The Germans have been more forthcoming ( not to be confused with "froth coming" as with
Donald Trump). The Germans never mince their words and their health advisory is to adopt
the "Doggy position" to avoid face-to-face contact. Now, shifting abruptly from the
Missionary to the Doggy position requires, literally, a sexual revolution and should not be
attempted if you have spondylitis or a slipped disc . If you are in the Missionary Up position
when this advice reaches you, however, you should wait for the next tweet from the BJP's in-
house expert on orgasms, that MP from Hyderabad who has been defenestrated by an Arab
princess, before redeploying your NPAs. But spare a thought for the proselytising religions
for whom this is a mortal blow : their missionary activities have already been quarantined,
and now they shall even be dethroned from the Missionary Up position. Don't for a minute
under estimate the enormity of the loss: the Missionary Up has been western civilisation's
most, well, seminal export to the heathens after syphillis, it has brought more men to their
knees than all the Popes since St. Peter : how on earth will they now demonstrate to savages
the proper method of praying?
  In any case it's so heartening to know that we are finally picking up some tips from man's
best friend. It would, of course, have been better if we had learnt other things from the pooch-
loyalty, selflessness, love- but I guess we can't be too choosy: in these difficult times we must
take what we can, even if we have to go down on our knees to do so. But even this advice
will encounter problems in India. Will the doggy position not amount to a crime under the
Indian Penal Code- an "act against the order of nature"? In which case shall we subjected to
the sight, every morning, of large numbers of Indian males being led along to the police
station on leashes hitherto reserved for their dogs? Is it going to be a dog's life now for us, in

15
more senses than one? I guess the Supreme Court will have to finally decide on the matter
when it returns from its lock down, summer vacations and recusals. It will, however, have to
be at most a two judge bench, because the Belgium Minister may not look too kindly on a
threesome, and a full bench may look like a juridical orgy to her.
  A friend of mine in government, who knows a thing or two about " working from home",
has asked me to keep an eye on the birth rate in January 2021; he expects a massive surge
then. It stands to reason, if you ask me. Firstly, the word "working" in our country
( especially in govt. offices) actually means "screwing around", so what else can you expect
when you ask folks to work from home? Secondly, washing dishes side by side with the
spouse does tend to make those pheromones buzz around a bit, what? I suspect Mr. Alan
Greenspan's Underwear Index may also have something to do with it: it has been falling
consistently, and with the markets all shut how do you replace the millions of Jockeys worn
out with all that sitting on the couch? If hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, lockdown
hath no bigger danger than an Indian male with ungirded loins. If you don't believe me have a
look at the photo below, of the home delivery of another essential service:

                                 [ Photo courtesy Yatish Sud, unemployed hotelier in Shimla ]

Incidentally, my mole  also informs me that there may be a proposal in the offing  not to issue
birth certificates to kids born in January/ February 2021 , on the grounds that their parents did
not follow social distancing norms, and that these babies will be deemed to have been born
out of wed-lock(down). The ardent parents should have contained themselves..

  In the meantime, of course, the Army has lost no time in educating its own on how to avoid
the virus, in the explicit, no nonsense language it is known for. A friend has sent me a photo
of a notice put up in a golf course, containing detailed advice on how to handle balls during
the corona period ( see below):

16
                                        [ Photo courtesy Mr. Yatish Sud, now amateur photographer]

Now this is the kind of unambiguous advice we need from our Health Minister so that there's
no ball-up in our fight against the virus. ( I presume, of course, that the advice relates to golf
balls).
THE LOCK DOWN DIARIES ( V)- KILLING US WITH KINDNESS OR
CONFUSION ?

   Long years ago when I was posted as a Deputy Commissioner in Himachal, we had a Chief
Secretary who would personally pick up his phone, bark a few random orders at the DCs, and
abruptly hang up even before the twits had stopped wagging their tails. For the life of us, we
could never make out what his orders were because he emitted his verbal missiles at the
speed of an AK-47. We were generally left even more confused than the usual state of
bafflement to be expected in a 27 year old suddenly shifted from Hindu College to a position
where he presides over the fortunes of five lakh souls. It was, therefore, normal practice for
us to ring up his Private Secretary and ask him to clarify for our benefit the gist of what his
boss wished to convey to us. This didn't work very well, but today I yearn for those days
when at least someone helped us to understand the incomprehensible.
  I mention this because in these lock down days I am struck by a feeling of deja vu when I
witness the scores of orders being issued spasmodically by the government. It is quite clear
that either the govt. has no institutional memory, or has one that retains only the wrong bytes.
We all remember the halcyon days of demonetisation, when the Finance Ministry and the
RBI issued scores of orders, counter orders, clarifications, corrigendums, erratas on a daily
basis, causing so much confusion that all the black money slithered its way back into the
banks before you could say " GO, URJIT, GO!" It's all happening again, everyone is
desperately seeking clarity but this time there is no obliging Private Secretary one can turn to.
  Orders are issued by the bucketful, and they are "revised", "modified" or "superseded" so
often that, like Raakhi Sawant, the final version has no resemblance to the original. And, as in
her case too, it leaves us gasping " Yeh dil maange more!" No one takes the original order
seriously anymore: everyone waits for the inevitable "clarification", followed by many
official " interpretations", and then the final press conference by a Joint Secretary where the
original order is withdrawn and a new one issued, triggering the whole bewildering process
de noveau. Mr. Modi announced the 3 week lock down on 24th March but said nothing about
essential items, creating panic with millions converging on shops and malls: that one night

17
probably generated more cross infection than the next two weeks. MHA clarified the next day
but the cops were having none of this for another week and beat up everyone without any
bias, distinction or ill will, like a truly professional force.
  Last week an order was issued that neighbourhood and stand alone shops could function.
Then it was clarified that "self employed" service providers like electricians, plumbers could
function. Next day a Joint Secretary further clarified at a press conference that barbers and
beauticians were not covered since they provided services, not goods. Do you notice the
confusion and self contradictions in the three statements, dear reader? And we still don't
know about that historical figure which is becoming a distant memory- the maid. The whole
of India is awaiting her Second Coming
  Take the case of the tens of millions of migrant labour in our metros. It was initially ordered
that they could not go home to their villages, notwithstanding that they no longer had jobs,
food or even a roof over their heads. Then Mr. Kejriwal, who has almost metamorphosed into
a clone of Nitish Kumar, reportedly announced that DTC buses would take them home from
Anand Vihar. I don't know whether the buses materialised or not but while Kejriwal was still
mumbling away  UP dispatched hundreds of buses to transport those who had not already
started walking to their villages. MHA maintained a benign silence at this flouting of its
directions. Then states started sending buses to pick up pilgrims, students and stranded
tourists. This time Nitish Kumar maintained a sulking silence. No one was clear what the
official position of MHA was, even though it pulled up Kerala and West Bengal for deviating
from its orders. Finally, on the last day of April it announced that these wretched people
could be taken back by their states, and the next day even trains were allowed to ferry them.
Was the mass suffering of millions in the interim period of confusion necessary?
   Consider next the confusion over "zoning". What's the difference between a "hot-spot" and
a "containment zone"? I live in IP Extension in East Delhi district and there is no hot spot
within a radius of three kms on all sides, but I am subject to the rigours of a Red Zone. My
addled brain is still trying to locate the logic of this decision: once you have already sealed
off a hot spot, why impose a blanket of Red zone restrictions on the other areas in that
district? Why not let life go on in the rest of the district/ city?
  A cousin stays in a housing society in NOIDA which has 600 flats, a population of roughly
3000. One old lady in one flat was found to be Covid positive and the entire society/
population has been sealed off/ quarantined for 28 days( mind you, this is after they have
already been through five weeks of lockdown!). I find this excessive: at most one particular
floor or one tower could have been locked down and all its residents tested, rather than
sealing off the entire population. Is this a war on citizens or is this a public health issue? Who
is the villain - the citizen or the virus? I do wish the government would not treat this whole
affair as a military operation in an occupied territory and not get carried away with similes
like "front-line", "covid warriors" or "the enemy". Is it trying to save us or kill us with
confusion? 
  The states, of course, like spring, are not far behind. Take this bizarre case from Himachal
( reported in the Chandigarh Tribune of 3.5.2020) : an orchardist of repute, Vikram Rawat
whose home is in Karsog, Mandi district, returned from Italy on the 6th of March 2020 and
went to Pauri Garhwal, Uttarkhand, where he spent  six weeks. On the 21st of April he
obtained an E-Pass from the District Magistrate of Pauri to return to his home in Karsog, HP.
He was allowed to enter, reached home and duly informed the SDM/ Pradhan and went into
home quarantine. The administration even pasted a notice on his door to proclaim that this
was a home under quarantine. But even while Mr. Rawat was admiring the new buds on his
apple trees the SDM suddenly ordered him to return to Pauri Garhwal and on the 23rd he was
escorted by two cops to the border and pushed into Uttarakhand ! The exile was told he had
not obtained the approval of DC Mandi to return to his home and hearth. Which raises the

18
question: are we living in one country or 32 ? Of what use is one DC's pass if the next one
won't honour it? After having divided our society are we now also dividing the virus, an
Uttarakhand one and a Himachal one?
  I have spent long hours of intense meditation trying to figure out why we are made to suffer
this confusion every four years, like a locust plague. Is it a " decision inertia" as Pavan Verma
would have us believe; is it a transient phase between natural stupidity and artificial
intelligence; is it that the second oldest profession in the world, like the oldest, loves to screw
around? And then the whole mystery was resolved by the surfacing of the original blueprint
of the plan to tackle the coronavirus and the lockdown, which forms the basis for all
subsequent orders. I reproduce it below for the edification of all my readers:

Say ( and complain) no more folks- everything should be crystal clear now.

19
THE LOCK DOWN DIARIES( VI): IS BHARAT TURNING ITS BACK ON INDIA?

   " We are all born ignorant" said Benjamin Franklin, "but one must work hard to remain
stupid." And no one is working harder at it these days than the mandarins in Bangalore. There
is no other explanation for the sudden order on the 5th of this month cancelling the trains
which were supposed to take tens of thousands of migrant labour back to their home states as
per the new GOI guidelines.  (After a massive public outrage the order was withdrawn on the
7th.) But maybe I'm being too harsh  because Mr. Yedduyirappa generally knows which side
of his bread is buttered ( it is usually both sides). It is a remarkable  coincidence that the order
was issued immediately after his meeting with the builder's lobby- Real Estate Development
Association of India. It is self evident that, if the labour left, all construction activity would
grind to a halt. Profits would plummet and that would have spin offs for the politics of
Karnataka too, for it's money that makes the mare go round, after all. Other states, including
Tamil Nadu, appear to be following his lead.
  It goes without saying that this is hostage taking, and a clear violation of the Abolition of
Bonded Labour Act 1976- the labour is being held against their will, not  because of the
pandemic, since the GOI has allowed them to be repatriated and other states are sending them
back; they are being denied their basic freedom and right to choose because the state wants
them to serve the purpose of corporate profits, which is the classic definition of bonded
labour. Or, as Yogendra Yadav put it correctly, modern slavery. No doubt someone, living in
hope, will approach the Supreme Court but that too would be a vain hope. The court, in a
petition by Harsh Mander, has already laid down a spanking new definition of right to life
and dignity- two meals a day, take it or leave it. Man lives by bread alone.
   But, really, we should not be surprised: Mr. Yeddyurappa's order is consistent with the
approach of the central government towards the 130 million migrant labour in India, all of
whom are representative of rural India, part time kisans, part time labour. Which in turn
accurately reflects policy making in India since 1990: focus almost exclusively on urban
India and industries, Gandhi's villages and agriculture can take care of themselves. After all,
they do not generate the rupee surpluses needed to grease the wheels of neo liberal capitalism
and politics; their function is to deliver the votes every five years on cunningly devised caste
algorithms. All the fruits of development have gone to urban India- 400 million people there
produce 84% of the country's GDP, the 800 million in Bharat only 16%.
  All industries, educational institutions, hospitals, corporate offices are in the towns and
cities. To be fair, Congress govts in the past did make some feeble attempts to empower our
villages and extend the charter of rights to their populations: the Panchayti Raj Act, Right to
Education, Right to Food, MNREGA, Mid day meals, Sarv Shiksha Abhiyan, stringent
environmental regulations. Though much was found lacking in their implementation, at least
the intention showed some realisation of the desperate plight of rural India. But the present
government, in its pathological quest for "ease of business" and brownie points at Davos, has
turned the clock back.
  Enforced digitalisation has deprived millions of their dues, welfare schemes are grossly
under funded, retrograde agriculture policies, failure to reform APMCs and obsession to keep
food prices low have ensured that while urban India prospers the rural sector remains more or
less exploited, with 12000 farmers committing suicide every year. While India grew at 7%
( before the pandemic) agriculture grew at an average of about 2.5% only. We will spend Rs.
100,000 crores to build Smart Cities but will do nothing to upgrade our villages, other than
providing a few toilets which don't work because there is no water, and LPG cylinders which
80 % of the village households cannot afford. We will increase prices of petrol and diesel,

20
liquor and cars, charge all kinds of cesses and tolls,but keep a tight rein on agricultural
produce because inflation has to be kept under check. On every front the rural sector has been
short changed.
   For decades now we have been exploiting the natural resources of the villages to fatten
industries and cities: appropriating their rivers, chopping down their forests, acquiring their
lands, displacing 50 million people since 1947. Environmental protection laws have been
diluted to make these depredations easier. The PESA ( Panchayat Extension to Scheduled
Areas Act, 1996) which was meant to give self governance to, and empower, Gram Sabhas
remains more or less on paper because both the central and state govts are unwilling to give
village units the power to decide on projects coming up in their areas. The 130 million
migrant labour is the cumulative result of these distorted policies. But at least these economic
refugees had jobs in cities, SMEs, construction projects to support their families back home-
till 2016.
  Two monumental surgical strikes took care of that: demonetisation and GST. And now the
military style implementation of the lock down. But this time India's pampered, gated- colony
middle classes too made common cause with a callous government to expel the migrants
from their cities. Those who had literally built a modern India with their own hands were now
treated like pariahs, like the Typhoid Mary- reviled, beaten up by police, branded as carriers
of the virus, hosed down with disinfectants like cattle, confined in unhygienic camps, denied
the means to travel back to their villages.
   Our rulers and elite would have done well to have listened to Bob Dylan- " when you have
nothing, you have nothing to lose." And those who had lost everything- except their dignity, a
concept alien to a capitalist society and a callous government- started WALKING back. In
small groups first, then in droves, then in their lakhs, back to an uncertain future but a milieu
that at least cared, proving wrong an increasingly disconnected Supreme Court that equates
the right to life to a loaf of bread. How many have died/ will die on this journey will never be
told to us.
   But, with economic activity now set to resume, the tables have now turned, the tube light in
the PMO has started flickering- how will industry return to normal without these wretches?
The largest number of migrant labour used to be employed in the five most industrialised
states- Maharashtra, Gujarat, Karnataka, Andhra Pradesh, Tamil Nadu. How will the kulaks
of Punjab and the orchardists of Himachal harvest their crops without labour? How will the
real estate sector in Gurgaon, Noida and Bangalore now build its over priced buildings? How
will our cities run without maids, drivers, rehri-wallahs, security guards, delivery boys? In
short, how do you sustain this capitalist bubble without the millions you have just thrown
out?
  It is this late realisation which had prompted Mr. Yediurappa, and other opportunists of his
ilk, to cancel the trains and create other impediments to their return. The boot is now on the
other foot however, and this boot is headed away from our cities and their industrial
heartlands. Neo liberal India is now desperate for them to come back, but continues to repeat
its mistakes, focusing on the importance of capital rather than on the welfare of labour.
Beginning with UP, where most undesirable things originate, states have now started
suspending laws made by previous governments to ensure the welfare and non-exploitation of
labour.
  But the migrants are not coming back, at least not for the next six months or a year,
deferring indefinitely our promised tryst with a five trillion dollar economy. The battle is
truly on between Bharat and India, but, for the first time since independence, the terms of
trade are in favour of the former. The latest employment figures for April released by CMIE
bear this out in no uncertain terms. It states that since February  114 million have lost their
jobs, one of every four Indians. Every sector has been bleeding jobs- SMEs, entrepreneurs,

21
salaried class. But there has been an increase of  5.8 million jobs in the agricultural
sector ! Even the Niti Ayog should be able to grasp the significance of this.
  In a contrarian way, it appears to me that COVID and the forced exodus of the migrants may
just be the best thing to have happened to our rural India, if only our policy makers would
read the writing on the wall. As the well known economist Ila Patnaik recently said in an
interview, businesses will now relocate and go where it is safer- our metros are no longer
safe, they are hot spots of contagion and will remain so for some years; their abundant labour
force is no longer available. Our villages are safer, have the natural resources needed for
industry, and 430 million workers( 2011 census) who now want jobs closer to home. It's a no-
brainer for industry, even if its incomprehensible to the govt. But there are signs that things
may be changing- Punjab and Madhya Pradesh have started allowing private mandis in rural
areas and small towns. If the mandis come then so will the infrastructure- food processing
units, warehouses, cold storages, transport companies, Big Basket and Grofers. If our villages
finally become the units for planning and development, this would be a more environmentally
sustainable and socially equitable model than the avaricious one we have today. Then the
migrants of today would finally occupy their rightful place in the scheme of things. And
nobody would have to to die on railway tracks in the middle of the night in their quest for a
little humanity and dignity- and a piece of bread: 
                                      

                                 [ The remnants of a dream on the rail tracks of Aurangabad]

The family which was carrying the sorry chapati above was not the migrant, actually. As
Ravish Kumar put it so expressively, we, who also came from these villages just a couple of
generations ago, are the real migrants, stuck in our heartless gated colonies, our roots severed.
The real Bharat has gone back to its home- and perhaps a better life- in the villages. One
wishes them well.

22
THE LOCK DOWN DIARIES( VII)- A TOAST TO THE NEW SPIRIT OF INDIA

  Omar Khayyam ( no relation of Omar Abdullah) must be feeling vindicated today.

Remember his paean to the grape?

             " And this I know: whether the one True Light

               Kindle to Love or Wrath, consume me quite,
               One Glimpse of it within the Tavern caught
               Better than in the Temple lost outright."

That light has now dawned in India( though not in the dark, convoluted caverns of Mr. Nitish
Kumar's brain) and this is our national epiphany: Alcohol is King! It is not vaccines or lock
downs or plasma that will save modern civilisation ( if I can call it that, for want of a better
word) but the daughter of the grape or ( for those who didn't go to St Stephens) the simple
booze, hooch or tipple. The evidence is accumulating faster than Mr. Modi's promises and is
far more reliable. Consider.
  Alcohol is now the mainstay of both our health and economic planning. Sanitisers( 60%
alcohol) are our first line of defence against the virus, and liquor the Maginot line that
protects our economy from collapse. Not the more glamorous Income Tax, GST, Corporate
Tax, Dividend Tax but the humble Excise Duty. Ever since the plebeian, stagger- alone
"theka" was allowed to open Finance Secretaries have been spotted in Banks depositing
money instead of robbing them. All except the Finance Secretaries of Gujarat and Bihar, that
is, whose dry begging bowls do not overfloweth. Economists and die hard prohibitionists
could not have failed to notice that Mr. Modi was able to announce his Rupees twenty lakh
crore package only AFTER the liquor vends opened: when the animal spirits were down it is
the distilled spirits that saved the day for us.                                                          This is the
golden age of the Drunkard, the latest of the COVID warriors. And just in time for a new
breed of warriors, if you ask me, considering that the older lot are busy showering flowers
from helicopters and serenading nurses and doctors. Maybe the PM will ask the Air force to
sprinkle some grape juice on these sturdy tipplers the next time around. For these coronnials
are the face of the new India: when they guzzle free booze they have the power to change

23
governments, when they pay for it they change the economy! They also serve who only stand
and wait -for their bottle.
   I hope you have noticed the delicious irony, implicit in the words of Omar Khayyan above:
in this avowedly religious country all temples, mosques and churches are closed, but the
liquor vends, the Taverns as it were, are open ! Could there be a greater force for secularism
than alcohol? The thekas have no restrictions for their avid customers based on grounds of
gender, menopausal status, religion, dress code or income: in the house of Bacchus all are
welcome. Can there be a greater charter for human rights and equality? No sir, the gods have
finally found their rightful abode; as has our Constitution, and just in time too, for its original
residence- Parliament- has made it clear that it is no longer welcome there and must find an
alternative demesene. These nation building qualities of alcohol have received the ultimate
endorsement- by the Supreme Court, which has suggested home delivery of liquor. It's a
different matter that millions are still waiting for home delivery of food, but we should not
quibble. This is at least a lurch, if not a step, in the right direction. Who knows what
stupendous surprises the court may come up with next- home delivery of justice?

                
                                    [ An important policy input from Whatsapp University ]

  The very term " anti-national" has been redefined, providing much needed relief to the
libtards, intellectuals, leftists and dissenters- the new, post Covid anti national is the
teetotaler, the wet blanket who refuses to take the daughter of the grape to bed with him. By
not having those three pegs every evening he is causing irreparable damage to our economy.
In a country where lining up in mile long queues is the true demonstration of patriotism- in
front of banks, ration shops, Aadhar centers, ATMs, food camps, railway stations - the failure
to line up before the thekas is a seditious act. I am surprised Mr. Arnab Goswami has not yet
raised this subject in a panel discussion, but I can give him the benefit of doubt: perhaps he
himself is in line outside an "English Wine Store" or an Indian police station. In both cases,
however, I expect he will maintain his usual anti-social distancing. It may not work for him
but it keeps others safe.
  And here's the clincher: alcohol has ensured that the essence of democracy- dissent, freedom
of speech, the right to oppose - is alive and kicking in Bharat, notwithstanding our Doubting
Thomases. Just look at how the decision to reopen the thekas has been received in various

24
states. In Delhi it was allowed by AAP but opposed by BJP; in UP allowed by BJP and
condemned by SP; in Punjab the Congress permitted it but AAP was not happy; in
Maharashtra the Shiv Sena approved it but the BJP criticised it; in Tamil Nadu the AIDMK
gave it a green signal but the DMK raised the red flag; in Karnataka the BJP said "hic!" but
the Congress said"Huh!" What a glorious moment for democracy, firmly establishing the two
building blocks of our enlightened politics: ideology is a waste of time, and in a tavern there
are no permanent friends and foes, all are drinking buddies.
  But now, dear reader, I must bid adieu. All this waxing eloquent about the golden
hippocrene has given me a raging thirst and roused my dormant nationalistic spirits- it is  now
time for a dose of the other spirits. I must bestir myself to the nearest vend to support my
country. There's nothing like a martini ( known as a quarantini in these lock down times) to
accompany a reading of the Rubaiyat. My wife prefers that other potion for these contagious
times, comprising of vodka, orange juice and a dash of sanitiser- it's called Typhoid Mary. It
keeps both the bacillus and the husband at a respectable distance.
THE LOCK DOWN DIARIES (VIII)--FEEL A LITTLE SHAME FOR THE LOST
SOUL OF A NATION.

  This is not about the sorry exodus of millions of our more unfortunate brothers and sisters
playing out on prime TV these days. It is not a piece about the government, or about politics
or economics. It is neither critical nor sacerdotal. It is not about Mr. Modi or the Biblical
scale suffering he has inflicted, yet again, on those who had put their trust in him. That is a
matter between him and his Maker, and I hope the potter who moulded him can forgive him,
for history will not. This is not about a callous Finance Minister with the rictus of arrogance
stretched across her face. It is not about a judiciary which has thrown away its moral compass
in the arid deserts of ambition and preference. It is not about a media which has struck a
Faustian bargain with the devil and is content to feed on the offal flung its way. It is not about
Rahul Gandhi or Mayawati or Nitish Kumar for they have already become irrelevant to the
pathetic course of events unfolding.
  This piece is about me and the burden I carry, a burden of shame, that has been sitting on
my back for the last few weeks and cannot be dislodged, no matter how hard I try. It' s a
burden which just got heavier this morning when I read a post by an army officer describing
his moving encounter in Gurgaon with families of "migrants" walking their way to Bihar, no
footwear on the weary soles treading on melting roads, hungry and uncomprehending four
year olds, of how they wept and tried to touch his feet when he gave them a few five hundred
rupee notes.
  I hang my head in shame in the India of 2020. At belonging to a country and a society which
exiles tens of millions from their cities, fearful of catching an infection from them, from a
virus brought here, not by them, but by my brethren flying in from abroad. Of treating the
hapless victim as the perpetrator. Ashamed of being a gullible cretin who swallows all the lies
and half-truths churned out by a dissembling official apparatus. Of beating pots and pans as a
servile hosanna to an uncaring presiding deity to drown out the sounds of tired feet marching
to their distant villages.
  I can no longer recognise the religion I was born into, it no longer has the wisdom of its
ancient sages and rishis, or the compassion of an Ashoka, or the humility of a Gandhi. It is
too full of anger, of hatred, of violence. It has replaced its once lofty ideals with even loftier
statues, caring deeds with dead rituals. It once fed the mendicant and the poor but now drives
them away as carriers of some dreadful disease, without any proof. It even finds an
opportunity in this pandemic to stigmatize other religions.

25
  I am ashamed of my middle class status, of many of my friends, colleagues and the larger
family even. Cocooned safely in our gated societies and sectors, we have locked out our
maids, drivers, newspaper man, delivery boy and a dozen others who have built for us the
comfortable lives we now desperately try to cordon off from the less fortunate. We have
deprived them of their livelihoods. We encourage another extension of the lockdown because
our salaries and pensions are not affected. Our primary concerns revolve around resumption
of deliveries from Amazon and Swiggy: the lot of the migrating millions is dismissed as just
their fate- the final subterfuge of a society that no longer cares.

   I am ashamed of the thought processes of my class, of Whatsapp forwards that oppose any
more "doles" to the hungry millions, that denounce MNREGA- the only lifeline the returning
labour have left- as a waste of public money and food camps as a misuse of their taxes. I am
ashamed that people like me can encourage the police to beat up the returning hordes for
violating the lockdown, which, in the ultimate analysis was meant to protect "us" from
"them". For the life of me I am unable to comprehend how we, sitting in our four BHK flats,
have the heartlessness to blame sixteen tired labourers for their own deaths: why were they
sleeping on railway tracks? How can one not be ashamed when I hear my peers decrying the
expense of trains/ buses for the returning migrants, the costs of putting them up in quarantine,
when they approve of their likes being flown back by Air India ? This is not double
standards, this is bankrupt standards.
  I am ashamed of my social milieu which lauds the leader for dismissing the cataclysmic
sufferings of almost five percent of our population as "tapasya", as if they had a choice. I am
mortified to see the layers of education and affluence, the facade of civilisation being peeled
back by a virus to disclose a heart of darkness in our collective inner core, the sub cutaneous
mucous of hatred and intolerance for a minority community, contempt for the destitute. All
age old prejudices, bigotry, racism and narrow mindedness have reemerged, fanned by a
party which has fertilised their dormant spores.
  I am ashamed of the dozens of four star Generals and beribboned Admirals and Air Chiefs
who  were quick to shower flowers and light up ships at a dog whistle from a politician but
did not move a finger to provide any help to the marching millions. Did it even occur to them
that they owe a duty to this country beyond strutting around at India Gate? That they could
have used their vast resources and vaunted training to set up field kitchens for the hungry
marchers, putting up tents where the old and infirm could catch a few breaths, arrange
transport for ferrying at least the women and children?Their valour has been tested at the
borders, but their conscience has certainly been found wanting.
  I am ashamed of our judges who have now become prisoners in their carefully crafted ivory
towers, who had repeated opportunities to order the executive to provide meaningful relief
and succour to the exiled wretches, to enforce what little rights they still have left, but
spurned them at the altar of convenience.
  I am ashamed of our governments who have forsaken the very people who elected them, and
are using their vast powers, not to provide the much needed humanitarian aid these
disorganised workers desperately need, but to take away even the few rights they had won
over the last fifty years. I am ashamed of a bureaucracy that uses a catastrophe to further
enslave those who have already lost everything, which insists that illiterate labourers fill in
online forms to register for evacuation, pay hundreds of rupees ( which they do not have) for
rail tickets, produce ration cards and Aadhar before they can get five kgs of rice, all the while
beating them to pulp. Of a Joint Secretary to government who can apportion blame for the
infections by religion. This is not Orwellian or Kafkaesqe, this is a government gone berserk.
How can one not be ashamed of such a soul-less administration, and of the people who
commend its mistakes?

26
   They will reach their homes ultimately, those marching millions, minus a few thousand
who will die on the way. They will not even be mentioned in the statistics: there will be no
Schindler's list for them. And we will pat ourselves on our collective, genuflecting backs that
one problem has been taken care of, the danger to our neo-liberal civilisation has been beaten
back, the carriers have been sent away, the curve will now flatten. But the mirror has cracked
and can never be made whole again. As the Bard said, the fault is not in our stars but within
us. Or, as  delectably put by another great bard, one of our own who now belongs to the
"others":

             " Umar bhar Ghalib yahi bhool karta raha,

               Dhool chehre par thi, aur aina saaf karta raha."

  Actually, this piece is not just about me- it's also about you, dear reader. Look into that
cracked mirror. Do you feel any shame, just a little , for what we have become, for the lost
soul of a once great nation?  
THE LOCK DOWN DIARIES ( IX )- FIGHTING THE VIRUS ON A WING, A
PRAYER AND AN ACRONYM.

   Although it looks more unlikely every passing day we may yet bumble our way through
this corona crisis, but it will be through an extra large dose of luck ( high temperatures, native
immunity, a weakened strain of the virus, younger demographics) and the police danda rather
than because of our health preparedness and systems. Eight weeks into the lockdown and we
are still to find answers to faulty testing kits, lack of PPE for health care staff, overflowing
hospital beds and inadequate testing. Because, let's face it- over the years successive
governments have run our public health and medical infrastructure to the ground, and deaths
of hundreds of children every year by the easily treatable AES ( Acute Encephalitis
Syndrome) in UP and Bihar are proof of this. We can easily find the money for bullet trains,
hikes in MPs' salaries, bail outs for corporates, disfigurement of the India Gate lawns, but
somehow never manage to find the funds for improving our fourth world health systems.
   Against the WHO recommendation of 3.5 to 4.0 % of GDP we have provided only 1.6% in
the current year ( it was 1.41% in 2008). Even the govt's own advisors ( 15th Finance
Commission) had recommended that it should be at least 2.5% or Rs. 145,000 crore against
the paltry Rs. 70000 crore provided this year. We have 0.7 beds per thousand population
against the WHO recommendation of 3.5, are short of 1.50 million doctors and 2.40 million
nurses ; worse, 80% of those available are in urban areas. There were only 20000 ventilators
in the whole country when this crisis began. The basic building blocks of health care- PHCs
and CHCs- suffer from a shortfall of 22% and 30%, respectively, and 90% of them do not
meet the Indian Public Health Standards: 6 out of 10 PHCs have only one Doctor. We are
extremely fortunate that, thanks to the luck factor and military style curfews, our broken
down health system has not yet been tested by the kind of numbers in America and Europe,
for then the consequences would be catastrophic.
   The present govt. has done little beyond formulating eponymous acronyms. It has done
little to start providing the Rs. 1.65 trillion required to upgrade our health system to WHO
levels ( PWC study in 2017). Worse, it appears to have decided to hand over the
responsibility of public health to the private sector. It will hand over between Rs. 15000 crore
to Rs. 20000 crore every year to private hospitals and insurers( under Aayushman Bharat)
instead of using that money to improve its own primary and tertiary care institutions; a
proposal is under consideration to transfer district level hospitals to private entities; the govt's

27
own CGHS and EGHS facilities are little more than dispensers of patent medicines- for
anything of any consequence the patient is referred to a private hospital, at a cost to the govt.,
of course.
   These private and corporate hospitals have no concept of public service and are in the game
only for the maximum that they can gouge out of the govt. and the poor patient. Patients
under Aayushman Bharat will receive some level of undignified treatment, the rest will be
bled of their savings and pushed below the poverty line. The private health sector has been
thoroughly exposed in the age of the Corona. Even in these distressing times they have seized
the opportunity to make some extra money: according to a report in the Times Of India dated
May 11, 2020 the cost of treatment/ consultations in private hospitals has gone up by 25-30%
in the last six weeks; the ostensible excuse is the cost of PPEs.  Governments have done
nothing to control this profiteering..
  All, and I mean all, the heavy lifting is being done by the creaking public hospitals which
are bearing the brunt of this crisis. Their staff continue to struggle on in spite of a massive
resource crunch and even when they themselves get infected. The private ones simply turn
away Covid patients or just shut down, citing lack of capacity or fear of infection. They put
their own interests before that of the public, and since there is little profit to be squeezed out
of the virus, they would much rather stay uninvolved or down their shutters. The govt's
inability, or will, to involve them in this battle has been very well analysed in an article in
THE WIRE by R.V.Barua and Ramila Bisht ( 24.4.2020). They reveal how the central govt.
appears to be clueless about a national plan to coopt the private health infrastructure in the
fight against COVID 19. The CEO of Aayushman Bharat, instead of compulsorily
requisitioning their services under the Disaster Management Act, has simply "appealed" to
them to cooperate in the effort! By now all large/ corporate private hospitals should have
been commandeered by the govt. in this national crisis, and some of their staff deployed in
govt. hospitals to assist the over stretched medical staff there. Only a couple of state govts.
have started doing this now, on their own initiative.
  Sitting on the sidelines, these money making entities nonetheless have the gall to demand 
financial "relief" from the government. FICCI has asked the govt. to give them a whole host
of concessions, ranging from Income Tax benefits to GST exemptions to loan deferments to
power tariff concessions. Their greed is beyond comprehension, at a time when hundreds of
millions are simply struggling to survive. Their corporate vision is clear: make exorbitant
profits when the going is good, raid the public exchequer when the going gets tough.
   The writing is on the wall for our policy makers to see, whether or not it is in Devanagri
script: public health is the core responsibility of any democratic government, even one which
barely passes muster as one, like ours. It cannot be outsourced like an entertainment channel.
The private sector deals in private profit, not public good; when the going gets tough, it gets
going- in the opposite direction. Any responsible dispensation just HAS to find the moneys to
fund public health infrastructure- beg, borrow, steal, print or, even better, jettison a few
Quixotic fantasies. If Mr. Harshvardhan wants to learn how this is done, he doesn't have to
trouble himself too much- just study the Kerala model.
   Kerala was the first state to bear the brunt of COVID, and now it the first which can more
or less claim victory over it. This did not come about by luck or egoistic acronyms or private
sector benevolence, but by consistent and far sighted policies to strengthen local bodies,
decentralisation of powers, and by investment in its health care systems, which were not
hocked out to robber barons. Kerala spends 6.5% of its GSDP on health as against the
Centre's 1.7%, in per capita terms Rs. 7636 as against the national average of Rs. 3800. In the
aftermath of the attack by the NIPAH virus in 2018 it has spent Rs. 4000 crore to upgrade its
public health systems. It has not taken the privatisation route but has prioritised the
strengthening of primary and preventive care, a gradual shift to generic medicines. Its goal is

28
to double public spending on health in the next five years. Globally also, the countries which
have done the best against COVID- Canada, New Zealand, Cuba, Sweden, Norway,
Denmark, Finland - are those which have robust public health systems and infrastructure.
  Kerala's active social conscience has also played a major role in containing the epidemic.
While the rest of India was watching re-runs of Ramayan on TV, the government in Kerala
was putting in place community kitchens, relief shelters for guest workers, strengthening its
hospitals, setting up contact tracing teams, and opening up its public distribution system. It
was the first state to announce a relief package, one that was people oriented and not intended
to mollify corporates alone. The state is an example of what investment in health and social
sectors, combined with an empathetic attitude, can deliver in times of crises.
   Finally, waiting in the wings is another catastrophe, as pointed out by Akriti Singh in a
wonderfully researched article in THE CITIZEN of 4th May ( CANCER HAS NOT
STOPPED, BUT THE TREATMENT HAS). The article focuses on the plight of the millions
of patients of other medical conditions who are being left untreated because of the
government's exclusive( and short sighted) obsession with the more glamorous COVID. She
cites ICMR's own data to show that during the lock down period, in the normal course,
300,000 fresh cancer patients would have been diagnosed, but have not been, because
hospitals are either shut or dealing only with COVID cases. In addition, millions of other
patients- not only of cancer but also of other life threatening ailments of the heart, kidneys,
diabetes,- have been unable to access the treatments/ surgeries they normally could. Adhering
to guidelines of the Health Ministry and AIIMS Delhi, hospitals are performing only 10% of
their normal surgeries, supply lines of vital medicines have collapsed, radiation, dialysis and
other therapies are just not available.
  The Lancet magazine, in an article ( 5th May, 2020) has also raised the red flag. Quoting
from the National Health Mission's own data, it states that in March 2020 there were 69%
fewer vaccinations for measles, rubella and mumps as compared to the March 2019 figures;
there were significant reductions for other conditions also: 21% for institutional deliveries,
52% for clinical interventions for acute cardiac events, and 32% for pulmonary interventions.
These figures could have only deteriorated in April and May.
  This neglect of routine health care may be because the governments are obsessed with
COVID or because they realise that we do not have the capacity to handle both. That is a
sorry comment on both our health infrastructure and on our lack of any  short term planning
and long term vision. In either case, this is a ticking time bomb which may result in a surge of
non COVID fatalities in the months to come. Even if we defeat the virus it may well be a
Pyrrhic victory. 
   There are many lessons which the coronavirus is teaching us- on the nation's health,
economy, environment, social equity. And we have to learn them fast, for the next corona is
not far way. Are we willing to learn, own up to past mistakes and make mid-course
corrections or will we continue to fly on a wing and a prayer till the inevitable crash landing?
THE LOCKDOWN DIARIES (X)- THE ENLIGHTENING FRUITS OF "TAPASYA"

  We have a lot to thank the C-virus and the lock down for. I'm not speaking here of its
environmental benefits- that subject we shall set aside for a later date in the manner of the
Supreme Court setting aside the matter of violation of fundamental rights by the govt. for a
more "appropriate time." That is, if we survive the virus, both the Chinese one and the
mysterious " Indian" one recently referred to by the Nepalese PM. Ever since our lockdown,
now christened "tapasya", started I have been marveling at the surge of creativity among our
populace, both the rulers and the ruled.

29
  Heading this list of ideators, like Abu ben Adam, is none other than my own Chief Minister,
Shri Jai Ram Thakur of Himachal, not to be confused with the other " Sholay" Thakur who is
wont to urge people to use dissenters for target practice. Anguished by the collapse of tourism
which accounts for almost 10% of the state GDP, the CM sought to promote what he called "
Quarantine Tourism"- that is, anyone anywhere who has to go into isolation should come to
Himachal whose hotels would be overjoyed to receive these possible carriers of the virus in
their thousands. They could recover-or die- in the shadow of the mountains and in the lap of
nature. Unfortunately, those already ensconced in the said lap- the local janta- refused to
allow the state to become a petri dish or Dr. Lal's Pathlap, as it were, and have rejected the
CM's epiphany. We will probably hear no more of this bright idea whose time, regrettably,
has not yet come. But the matter should not end there; as the vicar told the choir boy: we
should get to the bottom of it. Because my concern is this: if the idea was Mr. Thakur's alone,
we can handle it. But if someone suggested it to him, that would mean there are TWO such
geniuses on the loose in the state, and that would be a catastrophe. Some contact tracing is
called for here, methinks.
  Did Malaysia Tourism have a better idea, or was it targeting a, well, niche segment, when it
put up this poster at one of its airports?
                   

                 
                     
                 
One has seen many forms of welcome but this does sound rather out-of the- jocks. I am not
aware of the response to this ad campaign, or whether tourists are bending over backwards
( perhaps forwards in this case) to rush to Malaysia , or whether the country even has the
logistical wherewithal to provide this special welcome. But I suspect that Malaysia needs one
of two consultants: Mr. Shashi Tharoor if the operative word in that ad is a spelling mistake,
or a Mr. Suhel Seth type to suggest a less intrusive form of welcome. In any case, my earnest
hope is that the Himachal Chief Minister doesn't get to see this poster for it doesn't take much
for flights of fancy to take off these days.
  Swiftly moving from the anal to the mathematical, I have to admit that my maths is no better
than our Finance Minister's, even though, unlike her, I know the difference between a
stimulus and a joke. I have been unable to grasp the significance of a term much in vogue
these days- "exponential growth". Does it mean, for example, a double, or triple or quadruple

30
increase ? Was it discovered by Einstein or Newton? ( I must remember to ask Mr. Piush
Goel, our Railway Minister, when I meet him next at Gorakhpur or Ranchi or Rourkela, the
most likely destinations for a Shramic Special intended for Siwan). But I am no longer
ignorant about the concept itself, thanks to the tapasya and the opportunity it has given a
friend, who has a roving eye( and hands), to explain it to me. For the sake of clarity, and to
obviate the need for any clarifications a-la- Ministry of Home Affairs, I reproduce verbatim
his explanation:
 " Suppose a guy, who has COVID, has a torrid affair with a girl and passes on the infection
to her, that would be incremental growth of the disease. The girl, a bit of a mover and shaker
herself, happens to be simultaneously carrying on with two other Lotharios and infects them
too: that would be mathematical growth. One of these two men has two other girl friends and
passes on the virus to them, that is geometrical growth. One of these girls, who takes "work
from home" quite literally, has three other lusty boy friends and makes them count. Three
more COVID patients. So now, in the time it takes to lay me down, we have gone from one to
eight- that, old chap, is exponential growth."
  Nothing like a dash of sex to make things amply clear. But I have a suggestion for the
government: distribute a pack of condoms with each mask to prevent a sexponential growth
of population by next year.
   But credit must be given where it is due: the government has been wonderfully creative in
suspending troublesome rules and obstacles in the way of combating the virus, and I am not
referring to the suspension of those Delhi officers who sent buses to Anand Vihar to transport
those migrants, or that poor IAS chap in Karnataka who felt the workers deserved a better
deal. The govt. has suspended DA instalments for one year, some states have suspended those
pesky labour laws which, we now learn, were the real culprits holding back the five trillion
dollar economy, even the Supreme Court appears to have suspended fundamental rights in the
larger interest of the nation. But the most significant of all is depicted below:
                              

                     

This , to me, is the most progressive decision taken so far. It is a reform of monumental
proportions. This activity took up most of the time of employees in both the public and
private sectors; its suspension will now make them "atmanirbhar" and we can now put our
shoulder to the wheel, and the money where the mouth is ( or used to be). instead of the

31
reverse. But as usual I still have a doubt: has this ass kissing been suspended with prospective
effect or retrospectively? Will the practice be restored once the virus has been shown the
door, and will the poor slobs have to make up for the foregone kisses during the suspension
period? Does it apply to politicians as well? Will the practice be reintroduced when the good
days and the currently locked down posteriors return? Weighty questions which, I have no
doubt, the NITI AYOG will address once it figures how it messed up on the economy and
just about everything else it has handled so far. 
THE LOCK DOWN DIARIES (XI)- THE NEXT PANDEMIC COULD WELL BE "
MADE IN INDIA"

  So narrowly focused are we on the pandemic that two environmental milestones have gone
unnoticed. One, the 50th Earth Day has come and gone on the 22nd of April, 2020: did any
one even notice amidst the collective delirium of beating pots and pans and lighting diyas?
Two,on January 23, 2020, the Doomsday Clock in Washington DC ( which calculates the
time remaining for the seventh global extinction) was moved to 100 seconds to midnight ( the
zero hour). So imperiled is the future of our planet, and so rapid the environmental
destruction, that scientists have removed the minute hand and the countdown now is in
seconds. Not only are the sands of time running out, they are running out faster than we had
anticipated.
  COVID 19 may be an indication that the after- burners of Armageddon have been ignited.
Notwithstanding Whatsapp conspiracy theories, there is a near unanimous global consensus
among scientists ( Mr. Gadkari does not count as one) that this is a zoonotic disease, i.e. that
it has been transmitted from animals to humans, like Ebola, SARS, MERS, NIPAH etc.
Equally, there is now an emerging consensus that zoonosis is becoming more rampant
because of the ruthless and widespread destruction of natural habitats. The National
Geographic in a 2019 report establishes a definite link between COVID and planetary
depredation:  "Rampant deforestation, uncontrolled expansion of agriculture, mining and
infrastructure development, and exploitation of wild species have created perfect conditions
for spillover of diseases from wildlife to humans.... There is an inextricable link between
human health and the health of the planet, its ecosystems and its non-human living creatures."
How strong can this link be when we extinguish about 2000 species every year, and have
driven almost one million species to the point of near extinction?
  The resurgence of nature during these last few months only underscores the point that the
natural environment should be given a chance to recoup, to repair itself; that there must be
social distancing between natural habitats and human activities too; that forests, rivers,
wetlands, mangroves, mountains must be left undisturbed so that the wild life in them do not
come into conflict with humans, so that the estimated 1.97 million viruses still undetected in
the wild do not further spill into human spaces. Most countries are beginning to absorb this
scientifically undeniable truth, but not India.
  Our current stock of myopic leaders, focused exclusively on a five trillion dollar economy
and winning in 2024, are taking the country down the path to destruction. Even before the
pandemic India was the fourth worst performing country in the Environmental Performance
Index, at 177 out of 180 countries. But instead of using this man made calamity to review its
environmental approval policies it has seized the opportunity to further devastate our
remaining natural habitats and to give a free hand to industry to plunder them for maximising
profits.
  The long lock down has been a blessing for the Ministry of Environment and Forests which
has become unarguably the biggest threat to our natural environment today. This was a period
to have suspended all environmental approvals because the prescribed process- site visits,

32
detailed ground surveys, public hearings, consultation with experts and stakeholders- cannot
be possible in a locked down environment. But, in a perversity not expected of a responsible
government, this is exactly when the MOEF and its subsidiary NBWL ( National Board for
Wildlife) have decided to fast track approvals through video conferencing. Cases which took
days to examine and deliberate upon are now disposed off in ten minutes, invariably in favour
of the project proponents.
  At just one meeting on the 7th of April 2020- in the middle of the lockdown- the NBWL
Standing Committee cleared 31 proposals in just a few hours; these include 15 projects that
hugely affect Tiger reserves, elephant reserves and other Protected Areas. With lightening
speed the MOEF too accorded its approval within a week on 15th April, probably to forestall
any legal challenges. None of these projects were subjected to the rigours of a proper
environmental approval process.
  Among the projects approved just during the lock down are the following major ones:
* A railway bridge through the Kawal tiger reserve in MP.
* A highway in Goa through the Mollar Wild Life Sanctuary.
* Nagpur- Mumbai super highway involving the felling of 32000 trees.
* Transfer of 700 ha of forest land in Rajaji National Park in Uttarakhand for organising the
Kumbh Mela next year.
* A virtual green nod for the 3097 MW Etalin HEP in the pristine Dibang Valley of
Arunachal Pradesh. This means the transfer of 1150.08 ha of forest land and the slaughter of
270000 trees. The valley is a priceless bio-diversity hotspot containing the following species:
plants(413), butterflies(159), spiders(113), amphibians(14), reptiles(31), birds(230),
mammals(21, including tigers).
* Coal mining over 98.59 ha of forest land in the Dehing Patkai Elephant Reserve in Assam.
One of India's last remaining tropical forests, this reserve is home to 600 elephants, 40
mammal species, 300 bird species, 100 types of orchids, 150 butterflies and 40 types of
reptiles. What is astounding is that Coal India has been mining this area illegally, without any
approvals, for the last fifteen years, and its criminality has now been condoned with this
permission!
* The Karnataka Wild Life Board on 20th March cleared the hugely destructive Hubbali-
Ankola railway line through the fragile Western Ghats. This will involve diversion of 595.64
forest land and 184.60 ha of wetlands, and the felling of 220000 trees. No attention has been
paid to the earlier Kasturirangan and Gadgil reports on declaring the WG as an eco-sensitive
zone, or the fact that these forests are the source of 65 rivers, or that the ghats are the habitat
of 2500 species of plants and animals, or that a much more environment friendly alternative
route was available. Even more shocking is the fact that this project had been rejected twice
earlier by two expert committees of the National Wild Life Board.
*  The Rs. 20000 crore Central Vista project in the heart of Delhi has been accorded
environmental and land use change approvals with extraordinary speed; even the Supreme
court, as is expected these days, has given it its nod. An ill conceived monument to one man's
vainglory, the project will demolish history, heritage, culture and the environment of the
world's most polluted city in one fell swoop. Non govt. experts say it will result in removal of
2000 trees, reduction of green area by 9% and diversion of at least 65 acres of public use land
for govt. offices. 25 acres of the Yamuna flood plains will also be diverted. This is folly and
insanity on a megalomaniac scale at a time when cities across the world are trying to create
more green lungs and public spaces for their citizens.
  It is evident from this doomsday list that the state governments are just as culpable and
uncaring as the union government. And they will no doubt welcome also the MOEF's latest
assault on the few remaining environmental regulations: the proposed amendments to the

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Environment Protection Act. Notified on 12.3. 2020, these draft amendments will rip the
heart out of this legislation. It proposes, inter-alia:
[1] A post facto grant of approval to an EIA ( Environment Impact Approval) if one had not
been obtained earlier! This not only legalises a criminality but also flies in the teeth of
judgments of the Supreme Court and the National Green Tribunal which had strongly
disapproved of this idea.
[2] A project developer who has violated any environmental condition or rule can now simply
compound his illegality by paying a fine. There will now be no deterrence left.
[3] Public consultations and hearings, which are a lengthy process, have now been limited to
a maximum of 40 days. This is patently ridiculous because most major projects are located in
remote areas where it takes two weeks even to deliver a notice to someone. This clause is
designed to stifle the voices of local populations and to deny them an opportunity to oppose a
project.
[4] Even worse, certain types of projects have been completely exempted from the need of
conducting any public hearings: chemical fertilisers, metallurgical units, pesticides,
petroleum, graphite, synthetic chemicals, Effluent treatment plants, bio-medical waste
treatment, all building and construction projects, highways, irrigation projects, power
transmission lines. Anyone can see that these are among the most toxic and environmentally
damaging types of industries, but they are proposed to be given a free run.
Scientists, environmentalists, wild life researchers, enlightened citizens have all protested
against this surreptitious move to smuggle through a retrograde piece of legislation at a time
when various restrictions make it impossible for people to travel, meet, consult or debate and
have asked the MOEF to defer the exercise till normalcy returns. The government, however,
is not listening and is determined to drive in this final nail in our ecological coffin. Ironically,
this is happening precisely when 30 major countries recently met at the 11th edition of the
Petersburg Climate Dialogue on April 27th-28th, to discuss how to move to a greener
trajectory of development in the post pandemic era. The issue is no longer about "maintaining
a balance" between nature and development, it is now about "correcting and restoring" the
balance in favour of the former. But we of course were in a state of mental lock down.
  There is by now more than enough incontrovertible evidence to tie together habitat
destruction, climate change, zoonotic diseases and the current pandemic. It was to find a way
out of this vicious cycle that the Petersburg conference was held. But these concerns are just
not on the govt's list of priorities: they can be damned as long as the GDP keeps rising and
elections can be won by demagoguery. In just the last one month we have had one heat wave,
two cyclones and one locust swarm, all linked to climate change: one wonders what more the
government needs to wake up from its slumber.
  This govt's respect for the environment is limited to solar alliances, grand rhetoric, posturing
on international fora and winning dubious prizes.  This pandemic should have been an
opportunity to move towards a " green development" model but this govt. is using it, and the
untramelled power it has provided, to further push back the boundaries of natural habitats,
endanger hundreds of species, create more human-animal conflict, and prepare the ground for
the next pandemic. The ultimate Made In India virus.
THE LOCKDOWN DIARIES ( XII): HIMACHAL'S TOURISM DILEMMA AND
THE PARABLE OF THE THIRD BIRD.

  These are uncharted times for the tourism and hotel industries and most states are struggling
to devise a road map for their recovery. Himachal, however, appears to have gone into a
panic and has been pressing all the wrong buttons so far, further confounding an already
confusing situation.

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  At the beginning of the month the Chief Minister announced that the state would promote
"Quarantine tourism" in a big way to leverage its pollution free environment. The near
unanimous howls of protests, mainly from the citizens and hoteliers of Himachal itself,
quickly put paid to that idea. Then, with Unlock I coming into effect, new rules for opening
hotels were announced.  They stipulated that hotels could host only business travellers, govt
officials on duty and local residents; no tourists from outside. Strangely, it did not occur to
the govt. that with businesses closed there would be few corporate clients, that govt officials
stayed in govt rest houses, and that locals were unlikely to frequent hotels because they had
their own houses, thank you. There was, obviously, little point in opening hotels on these
conditions.The howling resumed and the rules were again modified.
  But it is a fundamental rule of administration that bad ideas come in batches, and the fresh
guidelines would have done MAD magazine proud. On the 4th of June it was decreed that
tourists could stay in hotels but they could not go site seeing, shopping or stroll outside; if
they did either or both the hotelier and the tourist would be prosecuted. It would be the hotel's
responsibility to screen them medically and disallow people with fever, cough and cold,
kidney and lung conditions. All guests would be served "kadha" twice a day and the hotel's
menu would be drawn up by the Health Deptt. This time, tired of howling, the various hotel
associations announced that they had had enough, and decided they would not open their
properties till August. They stated that since the season was already over there was no point
in opening up now; I suspect they were just being polite and had offered the govt two more
months to get rid of the cobwebs in its collective brain, probably because the said organ had
not been used during the long lock down.
   Tourism is vital for Himachal, providing 10% of its GDP and employment to 400000
people, and therefore merits a well thought out strategy to revive it in the midst of the
pandemic, because the post pandemic period may be more than a year away and waiting till
then is not an option. But the state is not seizing the unique opportunity which the pandemic
has presented it on a petri-dish. Whenever internal tourism resumes, people would be wary of
going to urban settings and congested tourist hot spots; there are not going to be any
international tourists for the next two years at least . Indians too are not likely to go
vacationing abroad, except perhaps for the likes of Mallya and Choksi. Our tourism would be
driven by domestic tourists and the expected decline in the number of domestic tourists
( 1600 million in 2018) would be partly offset by those who used to go abroad . The numbers
will be there, and Himachal, with its cool climate, green cover and relatively uncongested
landscape would be just what the tourist would be seeking after months of lockdowns,
restrictions and the fear of infection. But the govt. has to think sensibly, start planning for it
right away and launch an aggressive publicity campaign nationally. It has till September at
least to do so and should therefore avoid hasty, ill advised, knee jerk strokes of genius.

                   

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                     [  Phlach valley, Kullu.   Promote tourism here............]    Photo Avay Shukla.

                                [ Shimla...........Not here]                      Photo courtesy Amar Ujala.

  In my view, with COVID infections yet to peak and likely to continue well into the next
year, the govt should not open up the whole state at one go for tourism and hotels. It needs to
come up with a graded plan with a time horizon of six to ten months and reintroduce tourism
in a calibrated manner. Secondly, this is a once in a life time opportunity for the state to clean

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up its tourism infrastructure mess, bring the thousands of unlicensed units under a regulatory
regime, enhance significantly its tourism revenues and reduce the overcrowding in its
clogged up towns and cities. This is what I would suggest:
[1]  In Phase 1 only hotels, home stays and adventure sport units ( trekking, river rafting, para
gliding, snow boarding, angling) located outside urban centers ( Municipal Corporations,
Municipal Committees, Notified Area Committees) should be allowed to open. Smaller
conurbations and rural areas are much safer from the Covid infection:it has been established
that open areas are less likely to spread the contagion. Opening up the towns and cities where
the potential for infection is higher would be inviting disaster. In 2018 Himachal received 18
million tourists; if even 25% of that come this year, it would still be a lot- 4.50 million- and
cities like Shimla, Manali and Dharamsala would again be overrun with these hordes. It
would not be possible to test such large numbers at the borders ( nor should this be done for
then nobody will want to come) and could therefore lead to another wave of cases.
[2]  Both supply side and demand side factors favour rural tourism as the initial thrust area.
Potential tourists would prefer to go to areas which are open, uncluttered, with low
population density and provide nature based activities. This has been the international
experience also so far in countries which have begun to open up. From the supply side,
smaller units with low overheads and loans would find it easier to restart operations; this is
especially true of home stays and B+B units, most of which are family run and offer upto five
rooms. Their reopening would revive rural livelihoods on a large scale.
[3]  Only registered hotels and home stays should be allowed to take in guests. According to
the Tourism Deptt figures the state has 3679 registered hotels and 2189 approved home stays;
but at least a similar number in both categories are running illegally. ( My own village,
Puranikoti near Mashobra, has a number of the latter!). Since all hospitality units would have
to follow a strict health, hygiene and record keeping protocol now for the foreseeable future,
the Deptt. can no longer afford to have units below its radar. All unregistered units should be
given a one month period to register themselves. The Directorate should upload the details of
all registered units on its website. Tourists should be advised, and warned, to make bookings
only in units listed on the website. In fact, the Tourism Deptt. could also consider whether it
should be made mandatory to have a prior booking before being allowed to enter the state.
( This last aspect would have to be weighed against the visitors' convenience).
   The corollary advantage of ensuring registration for all hotels/ homestays would be an
updating of the Deptt's records, flushing out of the illegal units, and a considerable increase in
the govt's revenues from taxes and levies which they were hitherto not paying. It will also
result in better regulation and a better experience for the tourists.
[3]  The hotels and home stays in urban areas could be allowed to open up in the second
phase, only when the infection rate ( both nationally and in the state) has shown a decline for
at least a fortnight and the absolute numbers have also come down significantly. As with the
rural hotels/ home stays, only registered units should be given the benefit of Unlock 1 or 2
and their data uploaded on the Tourism Deptt website. It is to be expected that the hotel
associations would not take kindly to this, but this is a time to display resolute leadership not
populism, to prioritize scientific data and sound planning over votes. There would perhaps no
need to insist on prior booking now since the pandemic would already be on the decline.
[4]  In the third, long term phase, the state should review its entire tourism policy to align it
with the carrying capacity of various destinations, especially its main cities. The thrust should
be to move away from urban tourism to rural, nature based tourism and eco tourism. Sub
standard and illegal units in urban areas should be closed down, home stays which are
operating in urban locations in violation of the policy should be penalised, no new hotel
licenses should be issued for cities like Shimla, Manali, Kullu, Dharamshala, Palampur,
Solan etc which have far exceeded their carrying capacity, new policies should be formulated

37
for the rural destinations like the idyllic valleys of Tirthan, Parbati, Sangla and places like
Chitkul, Barot, Jalori, Prashar, Triund, Holi, Narkanda, Mashobra etc. to prevent them from
going the way of the other cities. Because if these places are destroyed then Himachal would
have lost its crown jewels. As I said earlier this is a good time to clean up; the govt. now has
the time, the authority and the justification to do so and it must not miss the bus now. 
  A calibrated opening up is what tourism in Himachal needs for it to be sustainable in both
the short and long terms. There will be some opposition to a partial and staggered opening up,
but our leaders must realise that there is a time to follow, and a time to lead. To make haste
slowly. It is relevant here to remember the parable of Noah. When the Great Flood subsided
after 40 days, Noah did not rush out in glee because he still did not know whether there was
any land left out there. He sent out a bird, and it was only after the third bird did not return
that Noah knew it was now time to step out! Himachal should wait for that third bird before
abandoning ship.
THE LOCK DOWN DIARIES( XIII ): WHAT INDIA NEEDS IS NERD IMMUNITY.

   Well informed that we have all become , thanks to the lock down, most of us are by now
aware of the concept of herd immunity. But I may as well explain for those simple minded
twits who acquire all their information from Republic TV and the rantings of Rahul
Shivshankar  on Times Now. It is a variation of herd instinct which drives a horde of a like
minded species to do something stupid. Like lemmings jumping off a cliff and committing
suicide by the thousands, or Indian voters doing the same in 2014 and yet again in 2019.
Those who survive such cataclysmic events acquire herd immunity and do not fall prey to
them again. Or at least that is what the epidemiologists, particularly in India, are hoping with
the big C since nothing else is working- not the lockdown or police dandas or Man ki Baat.
That is also what the Congress is hoping for, but that is a story for another day.
  We shall ultimately acquire herd immunity against the virus and so that is not my concern.
What I worry about is this: when shall we acquire NERD immunity, a permanent protection
from the nerd mentality and statements which are gradually taking over this country like
some locust swarm and blanketing us with regurgitated crap? Of late our exposure to this
kind of nerdity ( a word I claim as copyright  as it reflects sanctimonious fatuity and
dissembling on a large scale) has reached dangerous levels. Even the courts appear to have
fallen victim to it.
  It takes a special kind of genius to see the horses bolting, to do nothing about it, and then
lock the stable after all the horses are a distant memory. And yet that is precisely what our
apex court did: it rejected three early and desperate petitions to do something about the
migrants trudging back to their villages, but then decided two months later to exorcise the
niggling doubts in its collective conscience by ordering the government to provide transport
for them. The only problem was that by then ( according to the govt's own admission) 67
lakhs of them had already been sent back by trains. A few more undocumented millions had
reached their homes on their own, and a few hundreds had perished unsung on the way. This
was certainly not an intervention which adds to the court's diminishing glory.
  Consider next the nerdity of our Railways. It "lost" about 70 Shramic Special trains, i.e.
trains which wandered hundreds of kilometers off course and landed up in stations they were
not supposed to, a mystery not unlike MH 370 , except that they were ultimately found. The
Railway Minister explained that these trains were diverted on alternative routes since the
direct lines were over congested. It would take another nerd to swallow this drivel. We have a
rail system that runs 20000 trains every day, and yet it is supposed to be over burdened by
just a couple of hundred trains, at a time when the lockdown was in force and NO passenger
trains were running? Mr. Goyal must really think that Indians are all stupid. ( Actually, come

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to think of it, he may just be right- didn't we believe that Mr. Modi would set China right? Or
was it Nepal?)
  The RWAs in our cities exemplify the power of nerdity in gated communities. They are
ruled by tin pot dictators, usually retired middle level chappies who were pushed around
during their stifled careers and now have a chance to show some atmanirbharta. Having
pushed out all their domestic support staff to starve on the roads, they next brought all their
petty artillery to bear on those residents who were suspected or proven Covid patients, and
stigmatised them like the lepers of yore. Read the mortifying story on the op-ed page of the
Hindustan Times of 14.6.2020. It is by one Dr. Upendra Kaul, an eminent cardiac surgeon
and a Padma Shri to boot. Titled I HAD COVID 19. AND SOCIETY DECIDED TO
STIGMATISE ME: it describes his demeaning treatment at the hands of his RWA and
neighbours. And these same RWAs now want the govt. in Delhi to again impose a lock
down! They are concerned about only their own middle-class "safety" and the country's
economy and the remaining 800 million people can go to hell. The solid voting block that
they constitute, is it any wonder we are where we are as a nation?
  The last time I looked at our tattered constitution we were a union of 32 states and union
territories, give or take a couple destined for reorganisation by Mr. Amit Shah, and we could
travel freely between them in search of jobs, vacations, brides and cheaper booze. But it took
just one invisible virus to undo all of Sardar Patel's hard work in 1947: we are now a
smorgasbord of containment areas, red, orange and green zones, sealed borders, captive
labourers. Enthused by a heady cocktail of power, a comatose judiciary, a suspended
democratic process and dubious advisors, Chief Ministers are busy "sealing off" their states
whenever they hear someone sneeze or cough. Haryana, Delhi and UP do it every third day in
turns. Tamil Nadu built a seven foot high wall on its border with Karnataka, without waiting
for Mexico to pay for it. UP and Rajasthan cops even got into a scuffle about people entering/
exiting their respective areas, in a eerie prelude to the Galwan valley and Pangong Tso face-
off . ( China probably reasoned that if these guys do it all the time they won't even notice if
we do so too. They were right, we didn't.)  Mr. Kejriwal even attempted to prevent people
from other states coming to Delhi for medical treatment till he was reminded that he too is a
Haryanvi and not a Delhi-ite. This governance by sealant and adhesive, however, achieved
nothing except inflicting untold misery on families, supply chains, businesses and employees:
all these states continue to witness huge jumps in infections, probably because the virus
refuses to show its aadhar card or proof of residence- hum kagaz nahin dikhayenge.
  There is no end to the nerd wisdom we have been exposed to in recent times. The legal
burden of the state is carried on the quaking shoulders of a Solicitor General who is actually a
birder- his knowledge of vultures is unmatched, even though he can't tell the real from the
imagined ones. An ex union Minister who fancies herself as an animal activist and an
environmentalist gives a communal colour to the death of an elephant and weeps copious
tears for it, but is blind to the wanton destruction of tens of thousands of hectares of forest
and hundreds of species by her own govt. Another union Minister ( where does Mr. Modi
find such rare specimens, even by the abyssal standards of his party?) has assured the nation
that we can make China eat humble pie if we ourselves stop eating Chinese food. No wonder
poor Jawaharlal Nehru couldn't defeat them in 1962- there was no Chinese food in India back
then, you see. By the way, this is the same worthy who penned that hit song " Go,
corona,go!" which has busted all charts and taken India to no. 4 in the Corona Hit Parade.
  The nerds have been going from strength to strength. The ICMR and the Ministry of Health
continue to reiterate that India has not entered the community spread phase, even though we
are hitting 13000 cases every day ( according to a leading epidemiologist our daily cases are
nearer 50000 and will reach 200,000 by end July.) But hold on! maybe the mandarins are
right. They are probably waiting for Lakshadweep to record its first case before announcing

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community spread. Isn't it part of our great Indian community, and how can we leave it out?
All for one and one for all, after all.
  Our official mouthpieces too have made themselves at home in nerd land. The MEA
spokesperson tells us one day that the Chinese are on their side of the LAC and we are on
our's, and all is hunky dory. The next day we are told the two are disengaging! As Col Ajai
Shukla pointed out with irrefutable logic: how do you disengage without first engaging?
Similarily,  we were informed after the bloody fracas at Galwan on the 15th night that all
Indian soldiers are "accounted for" ; the next day it is tom-tommed that the govt has managed
to secure the release of 10 Indian soldiers captured by the PLA! This is precisely the kind of 
creative"accounting" that made Mallya, Choksi, Nirad Modi et- al multi billionaires, but as
you know, it didn't do much for the country. On being questioned by Rahul Gandhi the
External Affairs Minister "clarified" that our soldiers were armed but protocols prevented
them from using the weapons when they were being killed. Surely, we have found the
successor to the Dalai Lama now- Mr. Jaishanker combines in himself the pacifism of
Mahatma Gandhi and the corporeal emancipation of the Buddha. All that remains to anoint
him now is to send him to the LAC in Ladakh, introduce him to some PLA thugs and wait for
him to turn the other cheek. And once he climbs out of the Galwan river and is appointed the
Dalai Lama, we can claim sovereignty over Tibet, for if you have the sovereign, you have the
sovereignty. Let's see how the Global Times wriggles out of that MEA logic! 
  We have faced many viruses during our time and have gradually acquired immunity against
them. But the virus of nerdity sweeping the country for the last few years, and its exponential
growth, is straining our immune system to its limit. It is time to remember Martin Luther
King's wise advice: "Nothing in all the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and
conscientious stupidity." It is as important for the country to develop an immunity to nerdity
as it is against Covid. My humble request to these nerds is to  take pity on us and remember
that confronting stupidity can be as painful as death: when you're dead you don't know you're
dead- the pain is felt by others. The same thing happens when you're stupid

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