MALAYSIA: SUBJECT GUIDES

MUET ESSAY WRITING BAND 5 MODEL ANSWER

AND FEEDBACK

By Kristina K
9 Mar 2016
20796
Below is a model answer essay that scored an impressive Band 5. We’ll
give feedback on each paragraph. Let’s get started!
 
QUESTION 2:
The world today is turning more to electronic communications such as the e-mail, Facebook
and Short Message System (SMS). What is your opinion of this growing trend? Discuss.
You should write at least 350 words.
 
As time goes by, the world is changing rapidly; so are its people and the technology itself.
Technology brings about a lot of amendments in people’s life. It is getting more advanced
from day to day especially when it comes to Information Technology or in this case;
electronic communications. Back then, mailing was seemingly to be one of the most vital
ways of communication especially for the world communication. In contrast, nowadays
people are more prone to communicate the easier ways; by staring on their electronic
accounts on their computers or through their iPods and sending short messages from their
iPhones or Blackberries. Why is it so? In my slight opinion, this growing trend gives a lot of
dominances in today’s life, which are helping people to save their time and money, create
borderless communication and make it easy for people to gain prominent information.
 
 
Feedback
The student introduces technology as a whole, looking at its history, from
how it has grown from a simple form of communication through letters to
today’s extensive choice of communication through electronic gadgets.
This is a great way to start your introduction. Based on the question,
explain what the issue is and give a brief background of its past and
present. State your opinion as to why such situation arises. 
 
First and foremost, the world today is turning more to electronic communications like e-mail,
Facebook and Short Message System (SMS) and other electronic communications is
because they will prevent people from wasting their time and money. How do these work?
As we all know, sending a letter to someone will take a lot of processes and will eventually
take a long time and waste a lot of money. On the contrary, electronic communications
entail only the tip of our fingers so as an electronic device to work with. Then, what is left for
us to do is just, typing! Has that not taken a much lesser time and money? For instance, an
e-mail only requires us to turn on our laptops, open our accounts on the website and then,
you can start write your letter and send them through e-mails. In short, with the very
unstable economy nowadays, having these kinds of communications will ease everyone’s
burden especially on their daily expenses and also their valuable time will not be wasted.
 
 
Feedback
State, Explain and then Illustrate. Remember SEI. First, state the topic
that’s been mentioned. In this case, it’s the rise of electronic
communications. Then explain. Explain what electronic communications
entail. Next, illustrate. This means give examples based on your
explanation. The student illustrates by giving a scenario of the use of
emails.
 
 
Secondly, the growing trend of electronic communications is making it possible for a
borderless communication which is vital these days. Why is it vital? A lot of things require
borderless communication; in education field, businesses and even daily activities,
especially when foreigners involved. For example, when trading with foreigners, in order to
communicate with each other, they need Skype or Yahoo Messenger as mediums to
interact and be able to do the trade at a faster rate as compared to by using ‘snail mails’ or
regular letters. Skype is the perfect example of an electronic communication which will cut
the boundary that has separated each country and make communication between two
different countries from around the world possible. In conclusion, it is crucial to have these
electronic communications in today’s age of globalization as they make it easier for people
around the world to connect with each other.
 
 
Feedback
Structure your subsequent paragraphs like the first one. Add a new point in
the second paragraph and repeat the SEI format. It’s important to have a
mind map of your points before you start writing.
 
Last but not least, the dominance of these electronic communications is people could gain
prominent information more efficiently than before. As there are lesser borders between
countries, the efficiency of getting much more relevant and prominent information is higher.
People will have the ability to provide and gain information effectively through Facebook or
Twitter accounts. For example, international artists who have planned to do a world concert
can inform their fans about it through their Facebook account. Likewise, the fans also can
ask just about anything to their favourite artists regarding the concert. Hence, this explains
why people make these electronic communications as a huge trend these days and in order
to keep the trend ongoing, each person has the responsibility to adapt with the technology
itself.
 
In a nutshell, the growing trend of using electronic communications is inevitably vital in
people’s lives as it gives out a lot of benefits as stated in above paragraphs. So, to avoid
ourselves from not getting the chance of keeping up with the changing trends, we have to
try our best to adapt ourselves with the rapid changes. I believe that the electronic
communication trend is a trend which is very important to be followed as the world is getting
more advanced day to day.
 
 
Feedback
To indicate that your essay is coming to an end, use words like ‘in
conclusion, in a nutshell, in short or to wrap up. Summarise your opinion
based on all your previous paragraphs and emphasise your point through
words like ‘I believe’.