Every marriage started as a relationship or a more basic word “friendship”, a journey that

exists between a man and a woman which may either result in a union or not. The word “Getting ready”
is sounding the question of our readiness to a life time journey which will only end through death. Most
singles get prepared for wedding which involves dress, makeup, shoes, suits, wedding venue, catering,
honeymoon, and all other paparazzi as they tend to forget to see the big picture called “MARRAIGE”.

The results gotten from an examination can be solely dependent on the amount of energy or hard work
a student puts into its preparation provided all other things are kept constant. Also in preparing for
marriage, there is need for you to have these in your itinerary so as to help you understand your journey
while navigating therein.

1. CHANGE ‘ME’ TO ‘WE’

There’s no place for selfishness in a marriage, there is need for you start changing your mindset which
was always self-centered to always considering your partner, from ‘ME’ to ‘WE’. It doesn’t mean that
you would lose your identity or should stop thinking about your personal happiness, it’s more about
starting to consider your future spouse in your plans and dreams, and other things that you’ll do.
Marriage is a partnership business and the two parties involved need to be on the same team. Hence,
put aside some of that ego and self-centeredness.

2. BE REAL!

While preparing for marriage, women are conditioned to believe that marriages are all about ‘the
perfect partner’, ‘perfect in-laws’ and ‘perfect crib’. But know this already; marriages are far from
‘perfect’!. Embrace the beauty of reality and come to terms with the fact that your husband, in-laws and
the house that you will live in can be different from what you may have imagined. While preparing for
marriage, when you start becoming more acceptable, that’s when happiness will follow. When you set
out to find what to know before getting married, there will be many people telling you that you need to
change your lifestyle, your habits and other things to adjust to your new way of life.

3. ATTEND PREMARITAL CLASSES OR WEBINARS

Whether if you’re in the dark about marriage or feel like you can wing it once you’re in it, there’s no
harm in getting more knowledge from premarital classes or courses. Usually, there are counselors that
can answer your questions, enlighten you with some useful insights, or help you get through certain pre-
wedding anxiety or fear. Unlike getting tips from parents or friends, the counselors are known to be
neutral and non-bias so that you can get objective advice or information.

4. PRACTICE FORGIVENESS

Forgiveness is one of the keys of a successful marriage, so you should be prepared for this. Holding a
grudge against your spouse will only harm your relationship and create a negative climate in your home,
instead learn how to forgive and see the silver lining in the hardships you might encounter. That way,
you can learn from each other and grow together without being divided by bitterness and resentment.
Know that your partner is human and cannot fulfill your every expectation. While getting ready for
marriage, process the anger and seek reconciliation, especially on petty matters. It takes a lot to let go of
past hurts, disappointments, and anger. It makes much sense to process the anger and seek
reconciliation if there are pre-existing issues between the two of you that can boil over later. If you don’t
have a forgiving heart, DON’T MARRY.

5. START ADJUSTING AND PLANNING YOUR FINANCE

There will be quite a shifting from handling your finance as a single to managing household finance
together and sharing your wealth with your spouse. And because money issue is one of the main
reasons for divorce, we can’t stress enough how much important it is to start adjusting and planning
your financial life, before you get married. It should be done together with your spouse; be open about
your salary, debts, assets, or investments, and share about your long-term plans, dreams, and goals.
Once the two of you know what to expect from each other, start making changes into your money habit,
like start saving, and avoid spending impulsively or putting off some bills that can become debts. Only
then will you enter the new life, fully ready for all the ups and downs of this thrilling ride! Save
yourselves a lot of future headaches by discussing your spending habits and spending plans and goals.
Always spend less than you make, save a little for the rainy days.

6. PARENTING

You surely know how some people start asking questions like, “when are you going to have a baby”, the
minute you exchanged those vows. If you're not mentally prepared to talk about it let alone having kids,
then it could be quite a challenging issue to handle. Again, we encourage you to have a discussion with
your spouse regarding this. When you have reached an agreement with each other, it will be easier for
you to decide when and how this family expansion will happen and not stressing with external pressure.
There is need for you to ask yourselves this question “How do we want to train up our children?”

7. LEARN FROM A ROLE MODEL COUPLE

Do you know a few figure couples that set great examples of lasting marriages and long-term
commitments? If yes, then learn from them. Ask them about how to handle the disagreements and
arguments, how to balance work and marriage, and also observe how they’re treating their spouse(s)
both in bad and good times, through the years, surely they have found a secret or two for a longstanding
union. Their wisdom can be guide for you to act as a married couple and also as an individual.

8. KEEP AN OPEN MIND AND BE FLEXIBLE

You might have some expectations about married life but remember that you shouldn't expect
everything to be perfect in a marriage. There are going to be ups and downs, and you need to be ready
for it. Have faith in your future spouse and your relationship so you wouldn't give up easily when faced
with marital problems. You should also keep an open mind and be flexible because there will also be
changes in your life, some that you might not expect before, so prepare yourself to be more adaptable!.
9. DISCUSS THE BOUNDARIES

You and your future spouse might have different ways of thinking, contrasting perspective, also
particular wants and needs. To minimize friction in your married life, make sure you discuss the
boundaries with him beforehand. After you got married, what is okay and what is not okay for you to
do? Can your spouse still be friend with his exes? When can you have girls' night out with your best
friends? Should you share personal issues with family and friends? Talk thoroughly and agree on the
limits together.

10. BUILD YOUR FRIENDSHIP AND LEARN TO LAUGH IT OFF

The best way to experience a great marriage is by having your best friend as a spouse. See him not only
as your lover or leader but also someone you can talk to about most anything, share your passions with
and confide in, even someone you can be yourself around. Just as friends do, learn to create a positive
atmosphere around each other and try to laugh at some of your problems to chase it away rather than
handling it in a too-serious or feisty manner.

11. SPEAK THE LANGUAGES OF LOVE

In the course of preparing for marriage; speak the different languages of love to show that you care.
These may include speaking words of affirmation, spending quality time, gifting, performing acts of
service or physical touching etc. Choose the love language(s) that work(s) for both of you and practice it
every day to see love bloom. Here’s a closer look at the different love languages

(a) Speaking words of affirmation :- Rather than telling them that a certain outfit doesn’t suit your
spouse, compliment them wholeheartedly on the days they make an effort to look good. Boost their
confidence by showing that you believe in the work that they do and support the ideas they believe in.

(b) Spending quality time:- You don’t need to spend the entire weekend with your partner. Giving them
your full attention and actively listening to how their day went on a regular basis can serve as quality
time.

(c) Gifting:-In the initial phase of marriage, be prepared to gift knick-knacks that you know your partner
loves. It can be a homemade cookie, a little thing you saw them eyeing at a shop or an essential that you
know that they keep forgetting to buy every month.

(d) Performing acts of service:-Little acts of service go a long way in conveying how much you love your
partner. Taking over a chore that you know that they hate doing, paying a bill or something else.

(e) Physical touching:-Starting and ending the day with affection by hugging and kissing your partner
regularly can make a huge difference in the way the intimacy part of your relationships proceeds.

When you respect and believe in your partner, it will help them transform into one who’s courageous.
With a respectful partner, they can hope to have a good day and have the courage & conviction to take
on any challenge in their life.
12. BREAK YOUR BAD HABITS

Whatever other bad habit you’ve got that you know you need to jettison, take care of it. Maybe it’s
drinking; self-prescription of pills, gambling, self-harm or cutting. Getting married and making a promise
won’t make those things magically go away except you do. They’ll just make your single person
problems a marriage problem.

13. SURROUND YOURSELF WITH PEOPLE YOU ASPIRE TO BE

Look closely at the people you hang around, and you’ll get a glimpse of the person you’re becoming. It’s
invaluable to have a married couple in your life that you look up to. A couple you can’t help but say,
“#goals” after all of their posts. These couples will show you exactly what you can aim for in your future
relationship.

14. SERVICE

Serving your spouse is important. When you serve someone else, you’re placing their needs above your
own. This selfless leadership happens daily in marriage. Serving others anyway you can help you develop
the heart you’ll need for serving your spouse later in marriage.

15. LOSE THE BAGGAGE

Bringing financial, emotional, or spiritual baggage into a relationship is detrimental. You won’t ever treat
someone’s heart better than you treat yours. Those negative emotions you’d holding onto about that
particular family member or the past will be projected onto your spouse. Start to come to terms with
your brokenness now so you can humbly understand your spouse’s brokenness later.

16. PRAYER

The word prayer is a conversation with God, and every conversation begins by addressing the person to
whom you are speaking by name. Prayer is one of the most powerful weapons God has given us. There
is the need for singles to cultivate the habit of praying i.e. inviting the almighty in the journey you’d be
embarking on. Prayer is deeply personal. For many of us, it is a time where we lay our hearts bare before
God in an attempt to draw closer to Him. As a result, it’s not always a space we wish to invite others
into. In marriage, however, there should be times where you and your spouse petition God together.
The list of benefits of praying with your spouse is long because even though it’s a deeply personal time,
there’s a point to prayer. You get something out of it.

“Getting set for the journey called marriage, always remember that on the way are hurdles, turns, road
signs, unforeseen circumstances amongst all. A marriage is often not so much of the expectations as
there are still a lot to observe, learn while still en route. Also contrary to popular belief, it’s not a bed of
red roses. “I pray God journeys along with us on this road. AMEN!”
Elite women society 09030370799