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TALENT MANAGEMENT MAGAZINE

Letting Go
by Marshall Goldsmith

When you consider how many hours of organizational time and

productivity are lost in the endless retelling of our co-workers’
blunders or the internal stress we generate reliving real or
imagined slights, you can appreciate the value of letting go of all
of these negative feelings and focusing on the future.

Carrying grudges, harboring doubts about a colleague because of

perceived missteps in the past, or maintaining a cynical outlook
about the selfishness or shortsightedness of everybody around
you -- but not yourself, of course -- are all things that pull you
out of the present moment. These feelings not only break your
concentration, they lead to pointless conflicts in the workplace.
Instead, you need to be attuned to things happening right now, as
well as in the future, where the results of your efforts reside. The
past is a useful guide, but if you dwell on it too much, particularly
the negative aspects, you may find yourself trapped there. That’s
the deeper meaning of the phrase “stuck in the past.”

Successful people constantly look to the future. Why?

That’s where the action is. We can change the future, but not the
past. Leaders in business, government, nonprofits and just about
any kind of organization spend their time shaping a better future
by asking for and listening to the ideas of others.

An old Buddhist parable illustrates the challenge and the value of

letting go of past animosities: Two monks were strolling by a
stream on their way home to the monastery. As they walked, they
were startled by the sound of a young woman in a bridal gown
sitting by the stream, crying softly. Tears rolled down her cheeks
as she gazed across the water.

When they asked her what was wrong, she told them she needed
to cross the stream to get to her wedding, but she was fearful
that doing so might ruin her beautiful handmade gown.

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In this particular Buddhist sect, monks were prohibited from

touching women. However, one of the monks was filled with
compassion for the bride. Ignoring the restriction, he hoisted the
woman on his shoulders and carried her across the stream,
assisting her with the journey and preserving her gown. She
smiled and bowed graciously in thanks; then the monk splashed
across the stream to rejoin his companion.

The second monk was livid. “How could you do that? You know we
are forbidden to touch a woman, much less pick one up and carry
her around!” he scolded.
The offending monk listened in silence to a stern lecture that
lasted all the way back to the monastery. His mind wandered as
he felt the warm sunshine and listened to the birds sing from their
branches.

Even after returning to the monastery, he was jostled awake in

the middle of the night by his fellow monk, who was still deeply
troubled by his actions.
“How could you carry that woman?” his agitated friend cried out.
“Someone else could have helped her across the stream. You
were a bad monk.”

“What woman?” the sleepy monk inquired.

“You don’t even remember? That woman you carried across the
stream today,” his colleague snapped.

“Oh, her,” he said as he laughed. “I only carried her across the

stream. You carried her all the way back to the monastery, and
you still haven’t put her down.”

The point is simple: When it comes to someone’s flawed past,

leave it at the stream.

Now, I am not suggesting we always should let go of the past.

You need feedback to scour previous actions and identify where
improvements are needed. But you can’t change the past. To
change, you need to share ideas for the future.

Race car drivers are taught to look at the road, not the wall. After
all, they need to be focused on where they’re going to be. And
when they’re taking a curve at more than 100 miles per hour, the
wall is definitely a place they don’t want to be.

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That’s what being oriented toward the future does. It not only
helps you win the race, it helps you have a better trip around the
track

Dr. Marshall Goldsmith's 24 books include "What Got You

Here Won't Get You There" - a New York Times best-seller,
Wall Street Journal #1 business book and Harold Longman
Award winner for Business Book of the Year. His latest
book "Succession: Are You Ready?" - is the newest edition
to the Harvard Business 'Memo to the CEO' series. His
personal website,
http://www.marshallgoldsmithlibrary.com/, contains
hundreds of his articles and videos.

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