Our vedas recognise many kinds of marriages (vivahas) the approved

among them being the Bramha Vivaha and the Gandharva Vivaha. The
former involves the gifting (daana) of a daughter by the father, after decking
her with ornaments, to a man, learned in the vedas and of a good character
whom the brides father invites. The later is what is today known as a “love
marriage”. Many of our learned Rishis believe Gandharva Vivaha to be the
most respected kind of marriage because it is the result of mutual love, and
this is the true foundation as well as the true goal of marriage. However,
Gandarva Vivaha, they add, must be consecrated in the presence of
sacred fire by the parents because marriages performed with the sacred
fire as witness can never be rescinded.

The rites performed during a marriage address four primary goals:

1. to bring together two families into a bond of mutual love, respect

and comradeship.
2. to tie the bride and the groom in a bond of everlasting love,
respect, understanding and companionship.
3. to affirm the support of the bride’s and the groom’s families in the
event of the bridal couple encountering traumatic situations or
catastrophes.
4. and finally to obtain the blessings and support of the wise and
august audience of friends, relatives and well-wishers

The following gives the sequence and a fair idea of what is performed and
the significance of each rite.

Edurgalasani.

A married couple from the bride’s family along with the bride’s brother,
cousin, reaches the groom’s house with various kinds of sweets to invite
the groom’s family (including the groom) to the marriage in a decorated
transport. At the marriage venue, the bride’s family awaits their arrival.
They are given a warm welcome. The two families greet each other and
affirm their oneness – with both committing to work for the happiness of the
bridal couple.

Phoola Muddi.
This rite allows the groom’s family to assure the bride that she is the
appropriate choice for the groom, that she will be loved and accepted as
one of the family, will be looked after with love and affection. With this
assurance the bride is given sweets.

Mahaaganapati Pooja (Nirvigna Pooja).

Mahaganapati pooja is performed by both families. Prayers are offered to

Lord Ganesh to beseech Him to allow the forthcoming ceremonies to
proceed without impediments (vigna).

Punyaa Havaachan.

This is the pooja performed to consecrate the area where the marriage rites
are to be performed (mantap). This involves asking for blessings of Varuna
Deva, the god of water. Water being used to purify the area.

Maatrikaa Poojan (Kuladevataa Poojan).

This is the invoking the blessings of the Shodasha (sixteen) Matrukas and
Sapta (seven) Matrukas – the devis, including the Kuladevata – the later
being the family deity.

Naandee PoojanaM

Involves invoking of the blessings of our ancestors. This is performed

starting from ten days prior to the date of marriage. The Seven devi’s
blessings are invoked in order to prevent any inauspicious incidents till the
marriage ceremonies are complete.
NAANDI DEVATAA POOJANAM...
NANDINI,,NALINI,,MAITRAA,UMAA,PASHU VARDHINI,,SHASTRA
GARBHAA,BHAGAWATI,,
1. Nandini, the daughter of Kamadenu – to ensure appropriate
comforts to the invited guests.
 2. Nalini – to ensure that happiness and gaiety pervades the house
3. Maitraa – to ensure that all our well-wishers and friends participate
and partake in the celebrations lending their assistance when
required.
4. Umaa – the blessings of the mother, to provide the necessary
support and guidance to perform the ceremony in the right manner
and as per the vedic dictates.
5. Pashuvardhini – to ensure the animals in the household – cows,
horses and other pets continue to be well looked after and not
subjected to any hardships
6. Shastragarbhaa – to ensure protection of the family members,
friends, well-wishers and Guests, their belongings and valuables.
7. Bhagavati – to co-ordinate the functions of the six devis and
ensure effective and successful completion of all ceremonies.

Navagraha Poojana.

The nine grahas - planets (including the Sun and the Moon) are invoked to
ensure that any inappropriate positions of the grahas are excused and they
continue to bestow good cosmic vibrations. This pooja demonstrates the
importance the Vedic processes attach to Jyotishya which is a Vedanga – a
part and parcel of the Vedas.

The above pujas are performed by both the bride’s and the groom’s
families.

Samaavartana ).

Indicates the Groom’s completion of Bramhacharya Ashram

(Bachelorhood) and the eligibility of the Groom to enter into the next phase
of his life – that of Grahasta Ashram (Family Life).

A boy after being initiated into Bramhacharya via the thread ceremony
(upanayana) is expected to begin his academic pursuits for the next 12
years at a Gurukula – the premises of a teacher and away from home. He
remains in the service of his Guru and learns various skills from him.
(Today this is replaced by a University education for which one may have
stay away from home.) Upon completion of his studies, he is expected to
travel to Kashi – the ultimate place of learning, to demonstrate and to be
tested in his skills by various Pandits and Acharyas there. The skills also
include the capability of the boy to adopt the right path of Dharma, Artha,
Kama, Moksha, which also confirms the capability of the boy to lead a
virtuous life and his ability to raise and support a family. Upon successful
completion of this, the boy is said to be ready to step into the next phase of
his life. He performs obeisance and Havan to Surya Deva to pardon him for
any inappropriate actions, inadvertently or otherwise taken, that go against
Bramhacharya during this phase of his life.

It is during the boy’s return from Kashi, that a father, who finds him to be an
appropriate match for his daughter, approaches him and offers to give
away his daughter in marriage. In doing this he brings an Umbrella, a staff
and other items for his travelling comfort. The groom is then brought by the
bride’s father to the ceremonial place. Today this ritual is rather simply
enacted as Kashi Yatra.

Urad Muhurth[[uddu,,hesrukaalu beesuva kaaryakrama,]]

This rite involves the grinding on a millstone, by the bride and groom, urad
(black gram) and moong (green gram) after moistening the grains with oil.

Symbolically, the millstone represents the whirl of samsaara, the cycle of

birth and death. The grains fed into the millstone represent our innumerable
actions that keep the wheel of samsaara in motion. The pivot held on to
represent the unfailing support of God taking us through this cycle of
samsaara. The oil is the unremitting flow of devotion to God with which we
dedicate our actions to Him
This ceremony tells us of the spirit of dedication and devotion to Him, with
which we should step into Grihasthashrama, the most important ashram of
our life.
.(dhaanyaantu atyanta shrestha ani pousthika jaavnu moogu aani
udidu saangile aassa.. heen donni dhaanya budhdhi,santaana kaaraka
jaavnu vadhu varaanka boudhdhika shaareerika saamarthya vridhdhi
jaavnche khaattira lagnaantu udidaa muhoorta mhonu kartaati)
Maangalya Poojana (Gaurihara Poojana).

This is performed by the bride’s parents through the bride. The pooja is
performed to the various jewellery and other items given to the daughter by
her mother. This also includes a necklace of black beads (Chipta Tali)
strung together on gold thread. The bride is then adorned with the Chipta
Tali by her mother. This signifies the mother’s blessings for a long and
happy married life and progeny. The black beads signify protection from the
“evil eye” during or after marriage, the beads are said to absorb all evil
forces thereby protecting the daughter. Kanya Pooja is then performed by
her parents. The bride is then given sweets to eat – to ensure she does not
leave her house on an empty stomach.

MadhuParka Poojana.

The boy is offered a sweet made of curd, ghee, sugar and honey by the
bride’s father. In addition, in order to ensure a comfortable life for his
daughter, he also presents a set of clothes and other household items
within his capabilities - varadakshina.

Antarpat.

The bride’s maternal uncles lovingly bring the bride to the marriage
mantap. Mantap pooja is performed after which the bride enters the mantap
stepping on a mound of grains. The bride will have a garland in her hand.
Antarpat involves the separation of the bride and the groom by a sheet of
cloth with the chanting of mantras. At the opportune moment, the cloth is
removed and the bride sets her eyes on the groom amidst a flowery shower
of blessings from all present. The bride and the groom exchange garlands.

Historically, this is an important moment (muhurtha). In the early days,

since daughters and sons were married off at a rather younger age than
they are now, the parents of both bride-to-be and groom-to-be would
choose and decide to proceed with the marriage. Neither the bride nor the
groom would have a say in things - in fact neither of them will have even
seen each other before. In such a setting, Antarpat – when the bride first
sets eyes on the groom assumes considerable importance. Today,
however, marriages take place when the bride and groom are more mature
and therefore participate in the decision-making process. It would therefore
be imperative that they not only see each other, but also interact and gauge
their ability to coexist for the rest of their life. Antarpat today is performed
more as a process leading to Kanyadaan – the next step.

Kanyaadaan.

This is considered an important step in the marriage rites. As the name

indicates Kaynaadaan is the offering (daan) of the daughter (Kanya) by the
bride’s parents. The performance of this involves invoking the blessings of
four generations on both the bride’s and the groom’s family for progress of
the family lineage (Dharma-Praja) and the extending of the family
(Santaan) by virtue of this marriage.
This is done by the groom placing his hands over those of the bride and the
groom’s father placing his hands atop those of the groom all with cupped
palms. The brides mother then pours holy water onto this arrangement - I
hereby give you my daughter, who has imbibed all the right samskaars
(skills and attitudes) needed to run the house, bring up children and look
after the family, so that your family lineage continues in the best of
traditions is the mantraa. The time (muhurta) of kanyadaan is the most
important in today’s marriage.

Varopadesh.
•
Blessing and advising the groom by the bride’s parents of his new post-
bramhacharya ashram responsibilities of the need to practice Dharma
(adhere to dictates of culture), Artha (earn wealth), Kama (produce and
bring up progeny) in the right manner. He is informed that considering his
new responsibilities he should take extra care of himself – not climb trees,
swim in river, descend into a well, or undertake any such activities that
portend danger to his life. The groom promises and assures the bride’s
parents of adhering to these.

Akshataaropan.
This is an opportunity for the bride and the groom to converse and
exchange each other’s views on how to live life together. This was in the
historical backdrop when the bride and groom would not have known each
other. In today’s environment where the two will have met and exchanges
their views, this may not be as important and is performed as a necessary
rite.

They exchange their views on mutual desire and the manner in which they
could channelise the desires to practice Dharma, bring up a family etc.

Sutraveshtan.

A sacred thread is threaded around the bride and groom 10 times.

Indicating the oneness of the two for eternity in Kaya (body), Vacha
(speech) and Mana(mind). “Let us live our life together..…may the world
and society, the august audience present here, be witness and support and
bless us in this endeavour…”

Kankanabandhan /
The pledge and vows thus far taken are symbolically represented in the
holy thread that is tied on the right wrist of the broom and the left wrist of
the bride. Further “…. may this bring good to both our families as well as
the august audience …..”

kaashi Taali bandhan. [[TALI BANDHANA]]

The bride is decorated by the groom’s family ladies. Next, “tondla” an

ornament, is tied by the groom’s mother or sister to the forehead of the
bride to protect the bride from bad omen. Two sarees and other fancy items
are also presented to the bride along with the kashitali. With the chanting of
mantras, the kashitali, a necklace, is tied by the groom “...let this
represent .my oneness with you. Let us spend more than one hundred
spring seasons together……”, with the lord and the audience present as
witness. Blessings are sought from all present.

Vivaaha Homa & Laaza Homa. Thus far proceedings have progressed
with the Deva and the august audience as witness. It is also now necessary
to involve the presence of Agni devata (fire god) – without which no
religious act is complete. Homa is the invocation of agni devata into the
scheme of things. This involves a Homa Kunda an area within which the
fire-god is invoked. Ghee and puffed rice (Lhai) is used as a sacrifice to
Agni Dev as well as the other gods.

The fire-god here is a messenger through whom sacrifices are sent to the
rest of the gods. The sacrifices seek the blessings of the devas towards the
oneness of the couple in Kaya, Vacha and Mana, the synchronisation of
their thoughts, devoid of misunderstandings, their prosperity in life. The
groom seeks to have the bride released from ties to her family of birth so
that she could be part of his own family.
PAANEE GRAHANA:--Yeddoluthaayi Deva aani Sabhentu aashileen
Braahmana,Sajjanaanka saakshi jaavnu tugalo haatu
dharlelo,,,aattaan AGNI saakshi jaavnu tugalo haatu dhartasa mhonu
saangonu agnee yeduru doggaai taangalo ujvo haatu ekmekaanee
dhornu devaaka,,sabheka,,aani AGNEEKA,daakhavnu aamkaan
doggaankayi paramaatmu 100 varasaa pekshaa adhikaa jaavnu
daampatya sukha deevon mhonu agneeka pradakshinaa kaadcho
aastaa,,,,, ,, Ashmaarohan. (Fitting of toe-rings to the bride)

The bride is then stood on a sacred stone. The groom then tells her, “…be
as stable as this stone in your thoughts and actions to overcome problems
and difficulties in life and with my support, conquer our enemies and be
successful in life.”

The bride’s brothers and cousins then aver “… you have now gone away
from our family (Gotra), but do not forget us – neither shall we. We shall be
there to help and protect you in your time of need. Remember us by this
….”and they fit toe-rings onto the second toe of both her feet.

Saptapadi.

This is by far the most important rite in the marriage samskara. Seven
small heaps of rice are placed to the North of the holy fire (Agni). The
groom then has the bride step on each of the heaps with her right foot
starting from the West-most heap alongside chanting of the mantras. This
is what the mantras say:
Let’s pray….
1. with this first step to ensure prosperity and fulfilment of material
desire and vitality
2. with the second to ensure mental focus to develop physical,
mental and spiritual strength and stability.
3. with the third step to ensure abundant wealth
4. with the fourth, happiness in life – develop harmony, mutual love
and trust.
5. with the fifth step to ensure raising of strong and virtuous progeny
6. with the sixth step, a long married life, and to be faithful to each
other
7. with the seventh step to ensure we remain companions for life and
provide a healing touch to each other.

Further “…as the Praktiti and Purush, the Prithvi and the Swarga, let us be
one loving sparkling happy entity for the next one hundred seasons……..
Let anna (food), bala (Strength), dhana (wealth), sukha (happiness) and
santan (progeny) be ours in every season and let us overcome all
difficulties and traumas together…..”

Often this is accompanied by the groom leading the bride, holding her
thumb, around the Agni kund.

Dhruva-Arundhati Saparshi Darshana.

The groom shows his bride the constellation of Saptarshi Mandal in the
night sky with the Arundhati and Dhruva nakshatras telling her….

“Dhruva is the bright and stable pole star; may you shine as brightly and
bring stability in my life. Arundhati is the wife of Vashishta, the deva Guru.
Vashishta is inseparable from Arundhati. He is powerless without Arundhati
by his side even when in the august company of the great sapta (seven)
Rishis. Like Vashishta and Arundhati, I need you by my side constantly.
Without you, I am powerless! May the great Rishis via the cosmic energy
bless us”

The seven Rishis comprising of the Saptarishi mandal are Vishwamitra,

Jamadagni, Bharadhwaja, Gautama, Atri, Vashishta and Kashyap
Vaayana poojana[[MUTTAIDEYERIGE VAAYANA DAANA,]]
Involves performing Gauri pooja with coconuts by the bride. The coconuts
are then presented to ladies along with betel leaves etc.
The significance of this lies in the significance the Vedas attribute to a
coconut. A coconut is considered a complete fruit and equivalent in satwa
to six kilos of rice. Presenting this to the married ladies is therefore
equivalent to presenting six kilos of rice. This presentation is done as a
mark of respect by the bride.
The couple seek your blessings for a long and happy married life and
furthering of the family lineage in the best of traditions viz.
Aayushmaan Bhava, Akhanda Sowbhaagyavatee Bhava,
Suputravatee Bhava.......................