Академический Документы
Профессиональный Документы
Культура Документы
1 Company Overview 3
3 Our Programs 5
3.1 theApproach StandardTM Official Workshop . . . . . . . 5
3.2 theApproach StreetGameTM Official Workshop . . . . . 6
3.3 theApproach BootcampTM Intensive Workshop . . . . . 7
3.4 theApproach Phone Coaching . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 7
3.5 theApproach Personal Coaching . . . . . . . . . . . . . 8
3.6 Ebooks, Audio Programs and DVDs . . . . . . . . . . . 8
4 Getting Started 9
4.1 Five Things For Success In Life . . . . . . . . . . . . . 9
6 Body Language 27
7 Attitudes 29
8 Commanding Presence 30
9 Vocal Tonality 31
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12 Testimonials 39
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Part I
theApproach: An Introduction
By Dan Rose
1 Company Overview
theApproach is Vincent DiCarlo and Sebastian Dimitri Drake.
Talk about masters. I’ve actually had the opportunity to spend some
time learning from these guys in person. The things I have seen are
unreal. Their methods of teaching are phenomenal, and their system
is polished to a very high level of sophistication. They’ve spent years
perfecting this discipline as both an art and science, and they’ve been
teaching guys professionally for quite some time now.
I will try and pass on some of their basic introductory topics to you
right now. This book is not only meant to be an introduction to their
concepts and techniques, but also as a prepatory guide for prospective
students, so that they can maximize the learnings and improvements
made on an actual live program.
He has just finished working out various intention maps which lay out
all of the key moments that shape and define the future development of
a given sexual relationship, and is currently teaching these exclusively
at live theApproach programs.
Sebastian is known for his highly social and playful approach to the
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game and empowering his students with spectactular attitudes and be-
liefs. He is currently interested in something he calls The Array of
Possibilities, and is in the process of designing methods for tapping into
ANY woman’s given ideal fantasy. Keep an eye out for his upcoming
full length ebook!
And they produce results. Seriously. They have turned guys who were
once shy virgins into complete playboys ’living the lifestyle’.
And they’ve also helped men find the women of their dreams. It’s
all possible.
The real question however, is ’How do you want to use this material?’
I had been going out specifically to meet women a few nights a week.
And I was doing alright. Nothing too spectacular. I was getting plenty
of phone numbers, and even had a few short flings. At the time, I
thought I was doing pretty good. I mean, most of my friends had trou-
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ble even talking to women they didn’t know.
And then I saw Vincent and Sebastian. They made the impossible
look easy. Effortless. Carefree.
Just watching them that first day not only shattered my reality of what
it truly means to be a ’pick-up artist’, but I began to subconsciously
absorb their attitudes and beliefs.
Now I am part of the team, and it feels great helping others. I’ve
never had so much fun doing anything else. It’s genuinely a blast. We
witness tremendous change in our students.
3 Our Programs
3.1 theApproach StandardTM Official Workshop
theApproach’s World-Class Small Group Workshops represent the high-
est level of integrity when it comes to live pick-up, seduction and dating
instruction. The StandardTM has proven itself time and time again with
the remarkable success of every client who completes the training.
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of the top recognized pickup gurus in the world. Their teaching meth-
ods are just as refined as their skills with women, and they continue to
develop and systematize them further, night after night.
Not only will we provide you with the neccessary tools for the tricky
situations and challenges you will encounter, but we will improve your
attitude and mindsets using interactive exercises which streamline your
thought patterns, destroy negative thinking and eliminate self-imposed
limitations.
Think again.
Workshops take place almost entirely in the field with intensive real-
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time coaching and training. Malls, Bookstores, Grocery Stores, Busy
Streets,Train Stations are all fair game!
Speak directly with either Vincent or Sebastian and get advice right
before your important date. Phone coaching is completely personal,
confidential and secure, and we’ll never share your information with
anyone.
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• Learn All the Latest Concepts and Techniques
• Follow Up On Your Workshop Program to Stay Sharp
• Take your Existing Game to the Next Level
• Get Personalized Coaching Even If You Can’t Make A Workshop
• Talk Directly with Vincent and Sebastian
• Get Specific Exercises and Assignments Custom Tailored
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Part II
Creating An Attractive Identity
4 Getting Started
When it comes down to it, all of your success in attracting women is
dependent on having both positive beliefs about yourself and proper
execution of techniques. Techniques are used as a way of emulating a
person who truly believes he is attractive, with the goal of eventually
becoming a person who truly believes he is attractive.
1) Like yourself.
2) Be confident.
3) Have fun.
Those are the first three. The criticals. The essentials. Those are
things we aim to develop through our behaviors and actions.
With those three, and just those three, you can do anything. How-
ever, while those first three are critical for just about all parts of a good
life, the next two are also very useful.
4) Stay open-minded.
5) Learn.
That’s it. If you can manage those five things, you’ll be on your way.
If, after a solid base in those five things, you go out and start actively
socializing, you’ll be able to achieve an incredible social and sex life.
Now, let me break them down a little, and throw in a some advanced
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discussion.
1) Like yourself: The root cause of everything good that can ever
happen.
You need to like yourself as a person. You need to accept every part of
yourself, even the parts you don’t like (which doesn’t mean don’t try to
change for the better!)
For all you analytical folk: There is not a single advantage to disliking
yourself. Consider that.
For all you emotional folk: Your whole life will be better and you will
feel stronger and more alive if you like yourself.
Alright, I’m an American. Here in the U.S., we’re given a double stan-
dard from birth. Basics of self-esteem are taught throughout school and
by parents, but at the same time, people are often put down. Parents,
teachers, and authorities often turn a blind eye to bullying, reasoning it
off as ’kid stuff.’
The media constantly draws and redraws a fake norm that people should
strive to achieve, and are ostracized if they deviate from it. In countries
based around consumption, the idea of non-satiation rules supreme, and
people are told to be never satisfied. You’ll be happier with a faster
car, a better razor, the most fashionable suit, the new soda that’s got
a great taste while being very low in carbs...
People are told they can’t be happy without stuff. They’re constantly
taught to seek validation, and insecurities are played upon on a daily
basis. There’s a happy feel-good message of ’Everyone is a special and
unique snowflake’ that’s said in elementary school, which is promptly
mocked and satirized.
In short, people are given a billion reasons not to like themselves, and
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told not to decide for themselves. At the same time, most people think
they like themselves when asked, and often can’t realize that they, in
fact, don’t.
Now, how to do that? There are many ways, some of which are in-
cluded in this guide. Now you’re aware of some of what’s going on, one
way is to realize that there is no reason not to like yourself... you’re
the only you you’ve got. Strive for improvement, but like and accept
yourself. It precedes and precludes almost all good things in life, includ-
ing good relationships with other people and good sex with beautiful
women. It’s critical.
What is confidence for me? It’s knowing that I have lots of ability
and infinite potential. I know I’ve got skills that I’ve honed to a precise
degree and I can use them decisively. But more importantly, I know
that anything I don’t know or can’t do... I could. With practice, with
teaching.
For me, it’s about fighting my fears when they come up, and defeating
them. It’s about using my abilities as well as I can, but after I’m trying
my best, I move decisively. I know I’ll do the best job possible, so why
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doubt myself?
I act quickly, decisively after I’ve picked the best course. This is because
I know I have ability and infinite potential. There is no failure: There
is only success and learning.
You’ve got to have fun socializing. From the first approach to full
sexual intimacy, you’ve got enjoy what you’re doing and spending time
with women and people. If you go out with a friend whos acting as
your wingman, you’ve got to like him and like spending time with him.
It doesn’t matter how or what’s fun about what you’re doing. It could be
that you like the music of where you’re at, or you like self-improvement,
or that you like going out with your friends that came with you, or you
like karaoke at the place you’re at... it doesn’t matter.
Just have fun. Your results will be infinitely better if you’re having
fun, and no matter what happens, you’ll have enjoyed yourself.
So, those are my ’primary three.’ I think that those three mindsets
are pretty much necessary for a truly happy life. Anyone can improve
in those three areas, and improvement in any of those three areas will
translate to improvements EVERYWHERE else in your life.
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be willing to consider a new point of view or rethink an old one. Even
fundamental beliefs of yours may change from time to time, and even
if you can’t accept some things at this time, don’t be afraid to rethink
them later.
I like learning about anything and everything, and I think it’s invaluable
to me. I know about all sorts of little interesting things, and my life is
better for it. I can relate to many, many different people on different
levels, and can talk to them about it. I can think in different ways about
different things, and come up with interesting conclusions.
Learn things in general, because it’s useful to you, and will benefit
you in pickup and in other aspects of your life. The students who see
the most dramatic changes in their lives as a result of our programs are
the ones who came into the programs with the greatest commitment to
learn everything they could, and to solidify that knowledge by practicing
it afterwards.
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think of creative solutions, and ask for help when appropriate.
Seek out sources that can aid you. After taking one of our programs,
one of the best ways to ground your newfound pickup and dating skills
in your reality is to hang out with other men who are good with women.
Whether these guys are also former students of ours, or guys who are
naturally good at attracting women, they will continue to aid you and
teach you as you continue to improve your skills.
Those are my five first things. At any time, if you go back and pick one
of those and work actively on improving it, you will improve your life
and your ability to pick up and date women. These alone can improve
your life, and base proficiency are required in all five of these skills to
truly succeed in this endeavor... and to be happy in all of your life.
Anyone can grasp these concepts. Anyone can apply them success-
fully. Work on them and your life will improve, as will results in all
skill-based endeavors.
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5.1 What Is Atractive?
Merriam-Webster gives two definitions:
1. Having or relating to the power to attract.
2. Arousing interest or pleasure.
That doesn’t quite do it. Let’s look at one of those definitions of at-
tract: To draw by appeal to natural or excited interest, emotion, or
aesthetic sense.
Now, the first interesting thing I’ll note from this: There are things
that are not sexually or romantically attractive at all to women, that
won’t help in building a good, healthy relationship (or having enjoyable
casual encounters, if that’s what you’re after) ... yet these characteris-
tics ARE attractive to women with a very specific preogative (such as
getting married, settling down, raising a family).
Now, by all accounts and measures, her boyfriend isn’t a very attractive
guy. They’ve been broken up quite a while, and he’s yet to move on.
My girlfriend lives on the East Coast, her ex-boyfriend in California, and
he recently offered to fly into Boston and get a hotel just to meet up
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with her: And that’s after she’d told him she wouldn’t have sex with
him ever again!
That little aside there explains something major: There are many qual-
ities that are not universally attractive, but can be attractive in certain
situations. Another great example would be a female ’gold-digger’:
Something very attractive to her would be mass amounts of wealth.
While wealth is rarely unattractive, a lot of behavior that’d turn off
many girls would make a gold digger downright giddy.
That DOES NOT mean that throwing money around and spending
it on these girls is building a solid relationship, or even the best way to
get her in bed. Money is attractive by itself to most people; it does
not necessarily make the holder of the wealth more attractive except to
people with certain agendas.
The working definition of attractive for the rest of the post is some-
thing that is desirable on some level. Unless otherwise noted, anything
I write about as being an attractive characteristic will be a trait that
is desirable on an interpersonal level, that’d be useful for establishing
solid relationships and/or getting quality sex. An attractive person is
just a person with a lot of those traits.
When a woman sees a man, she almost always makes a quick snap
judgement about him. If no other information about the guy is avail-
able, it’s usually on what she sees with her eyes, and sometimes on what
she hears (if she hears him before or simultaneous with seeing him). At
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that point, very little if any conscious thought has been made, and yet
she’s made an immediate impression. This is daunting to a lot of guys.
Many, many men do not want to hear this. The fact is, yes, you can
change a person’s initial perceptions of you with time, in fact, within a
few more seconds.
But the matter stands: People quickly size you up, and it’s a lot easier
to go from (at least) a neutral initial impression to a positive one than
it is to go from a negative initial impression to a positive one.
What’s that mean? Something we’ve all known for quite a while: Im-
prove your physical appearance, within reason, as much as you can.
Seriously, check this out: You don’t need to completely overhaul your-
self in one day. Any small, positive adjustments are good.
Any one of: Doing your hair, cutting your fingernails, washing your
face, taking a shower, styling your hair (even really quickly with your
hands), shaving or trimming / styling a beard or mustache, putting
on clean clothes, putting on clothes that fit your figure well, apply-
ing something like Chapstick or lip balm, adjusting your clothing and
playing around to find a cool style (including tucking or untucking shirt
tails, buttoning or unbuttoning cuffs, figuring out how many buttons on
the top and bottom of a button-down shirt to unbutton, turning your
collar up or down as appropriate, etc), washing / cleaning your hands,
cleaning your shoes (even if they’re sneakers or sandals), and... well,
lots of other things.
Whatever you do, don’t play into a victim mentality: If you find your-
self thinking, ’I’m too unattractive to...’, then get off the self-pity kick
and make one small change. There’s probably at least a dozen little
things you could do easily in the next week to become more physically
attractive.
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Physical appearance largely dominates the initial first impression, but
within moments, you’re in conversation with her. Before any of your
words even register, the tone of your voice has huge impact on what
you’re saying. This is why socially learned people advocate having a
strong tonality: Either naturally, by being and feeling comfortable, or
by consciously focusing on it and adjusting it to its best level. Either
method can work, and applied perfectly, either method will work per-
fectly.
Taste: Eventually, you’ll be kissing the girl of your dreams, I hope. You
don’t want to taste poorly, but again, it’s nothing you should sweat.
Between the kind of ethnic foods that I like and regular salads, I eat a
lot of onions, so I’m constantly battling that. Not a problem: A little
fruit at the end of a meal goes a long way towards fixing your breath,
and breathmints are a good quick fix. And of course, brush your teeth
and take care in that department, and don’t sweat this. I’m not going
to talk about taste and smell for the rest of this article: Make sure
you’re not bad in those departments, make a little effort to be good,
then get it off your mind.
Of the five senses, I’ve laid out the base idea behind four of them,
and I’ve notably not mentioned touch much so far. Be assured that
touch is a huge part of the equation, but the modern, western world
has done a strange thing with touching: They’ve made it often more of
a big deal than it really is. Thus, many touches, regardless of how non-
chalant, can provoke conscious thought on her part. Whether you want
to provoke conscious thought with your touch or not in a given situa-
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tion is something worth a little thought, and we’ll get to it momentarily.
And this is where the confusion comes in: If a cool guy spends a lot of
time socializing with women, and has some relationships, he’ll have a
lot of insights. They’ll be pretty complicated, and based on his unique
experiences. So if he wants to share them, he needs to break them
down in a way that they can be understood. The guys he’s sharing
with weren’t there for every girl he’s interacted with, and don’t have
his frame of reference, so he needs to ’sum it up’ for them.
Not bad advice. Not bad at all. But he’s saying that from the per-
spective he’s got, from the places he’s been, from acting like he’s acted
like with women all his life. If the man giving advice is a 35-year-old
businessman in Italy, his conception of ’being alpha’ and ’being a man’
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is very, very different from a 17-year-old Canadian high school kid’s idea
if ’being alpha’ and ’being a man’. Some things are going to be the
same, but the guys that the 17 year old Canadian is going to look up
to is going to be very different from the Italian guy.
So let’s get to the heart of it: In every place I’ve been to, almost
everyone raised in that area had some deep, underlying core beliefs that
were similar. Like, as crazy as it sounds in a diverse nation, it’s largely
true. In the 1950’s in America, in many areas it was completely assumed
as a fundamental truth that women stayed home and raised children,
and men worked. That’s just how it was. Telling a woman that being
a ’working mother’ was an option for her would be as alien as telling a
Manhattan woman today that she needs to get married and start having
children by 20. Everything you perceive is filtered through your beliefs.
It goes like this:
You see something, or hear it, or smell it, you filter it through your
beliefs, THEN you can consciously think about it. Can you see how
it’d be difficult to change your beliefs? To get to an idea, you wind up
filtering what you’re sensing through your beliefs.
So unless you come into something with an open mind, or your beliefs
are wired in a very good way as to allow you to make constant ad-
justments to them, it can be very hard to change them......until you’re
aware of the pattern, which you now are.
To illustrate the example, let’s look beyond dating and sex: I, my-
self, deeply hold the belief that I should be free to share my opinions
and logically debate them with whomever would like to hear and debate
with me, and that that is never wrong. I’m repulsed when I hear about
governments censoring their citizens.
If someone were to tell me that that’s the way the whole world should
be run, it’s very, very, very unlikely I could ever come to that belief:
Because to even think about that idea, for it to even become conscious
thought, it has to go through my beliefs: And I, literally, feel physically
repulsed at that idea.
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Another example would be telling a devout religious person that God
does not exist. It’s quite possible that they could never come to that
belief, because the idea couldn’t even make it past their beliefs to be
thought about.
You need to recognize any negative beliefs you may have about your-
self, and at least isolate yourself from them long enough to consider
the ideas. Many times I’ll tell a student of mine that he’s attractive,
but the idea can’t make it through his beliefs without me making him
recognize that his beliefs need changing, far before I logically convince
him of the (relatively) simple fact the he’s attractive.
Don’t let your beliefs stand in your own way. They’re ingrained in
you, largely by your upbringing and experiences, but they’re a lot more
flexible than you might imagine, which is a good thing.
After you consciously adjust your walk for a short while, it’ll become
natural and you’ll need no more conscious thought in that department.
The arms thing is just a very, very small piece of an overall attractive
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presence. If you walk, stand, sit, wait, smile, and move like an attractive
guy, on a casual glance, you’ll look more attractive. If you only ’turn
your walk on’ when you’re out looking to meet women, it might not
stick over a long course.
Even still, it gives you plenty of time to screen the girl if she’s compati-
ble, and if she is, you’ll have had plenty of time to attract her via more
conscious processes that it won’t matter any more.
It’s interesting, really, that so much of the game is based around get-
ting five minutes of a woman’s attention so that you can show her who
you really are. But the fact stands: If you emulate a good behavior
and that gets you in with one woman, that’s great. If you synthesize a
good behavior and make it who you are, you’ll be in with lots of women.
Being relaxed and knowing you’re attractive will make you have the
body language of someone who is relaxed and attractive. This is a
good thing. Consciously manipulating your body language and move-
ments slightly, for a while, can be a good thing while you get the hang
of it. I, myself, have written a couple articles you might check out on
having a good walk. But more than anything, the belief that you’re
attractive will smooth things down and make you more cool.
People’s filters react based on what they’ve seen already. If every at-
tractive guy a woman’s ever known has walked and talked a certain way,
an okay-looking guy walking and talking that way will appear attractive
to her.
This is true for tonality, body language, and style. While there isn’t
ONE correct way to do any of these, there are ways that are attractive.
If you watch attractive guys, they’ll have similarities between them.
People who feel they’re of high value carry themselves with their shoul-
ders broad and their head up, almost universally.
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attention will be more positive, so she’ll feel more attractive. And since
she’ll feel more attractive, she’ll carry herself well. The same is true of
men.
It’s a cool thing I get to see when I teach: Often prior to taking a
program, a guy will have gone through a lot of frustration. Then some-
thing just clicks on program and they start to really feel it. They worked
hard, and they get that first positive spark, and then they REALLY be-
lieve it, finally, and start truly acting attractive. Then their success
REALLY takes OFF! The beliefs a guy carries with him translates into
how he acts. Any woman he meets will assess him based on her beliefs.
So, what should they guy do? Should he try to act the way she’d find
attractive? Or should he just BE attractive and KNOW he’s attractive?
I find the second way much easier. Emulation is okay. Learning to be
attractive, if you will. Faking can’t really work, though: If you believe
you’re faking, if you don’t believe you are attractive, you won’t be. This
is true regardless of what the first thing you like to say to a girl is.
Regardless of what you want to say, you should know, deep down,
that you’re attractive.
That knowledge alone will make you act like an attractive person, re-
gardless of what the societal definition of attractive is.
Filters:
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dom to try dating outside their race a few times in their lives.)
I remember, I once had a friend who rowed. You know, like, a boat with
oars and such? I’m not sure exactly how the sport works, but it was
interesting to look at him: He was very toned and in shape, but didn’t
have large muscles the way a bodybuilder would. He looked very toned,
say, at the beach, but he’d look rather skinny in a baggy sweatshirt.
It was funny... because he was right. The sleeves on your white cotton
t-shirt can make the difference between you looking like you have biceps
or not.
It’s why even though you look similar on most days, and even though
styles of clothing can look very similar, a very small cut of cloth can
make you look more attractive. If you need to prove this, have a girl
you know try on a few different cuts of the ’classic little black skirt’ at
a department store. One cut of it is going to make her look elegant,
another is going to make her look hot, and many, many, many cuts are
going to make her look not so good. I have no idea why women enjoy
shopping so much, with as difficult as it must be for them.
Anyway, dress is a really simple thing to help you stand out and be
represented as physically fit, and thus attractive. A little effort into
your clothes can make you much more attractive. But more important
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t han clothes are attitudes, and the beliefs they come from.
Have you ever been cliff-diving? It’s where you jump off a cliff of
some height into very deep water. It’s very fun and a little dangerous.
The first time I did it, I had no confidence in the action. I muttered a
quick prayer and just jumped off. A few more dives jumps later and I
was totally confident, and I wasn’t sweating it at all.
This ties into the bodylanguage piece: By moving like someone with
confident bodylanguage, even if you’re just emulating it, you’ll appear
to have internal confidence (the belief). The action itself is a slightly
exaggerated walk, that’s fluid and cool. This is a confident action, and
it reflects your internal confidence. Even if you don’t have internal con-
fidence, a woman sees a man walking like he’s confident, and she thinks
he IS confident.
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Thus, he becomes attractive to her. Simply by walking attractive, you
can start to create a cycle where you get more respect, so you feel more
attractive.
It’s the same for any attractive action: You can pinpoint what the
action is and do it, that’s good. But to really become good at the
game, you need to take it to the next level and find the BELIEF that
that action comes from, and make it one of YOUR beliefs.
As for what your beliefs should be... that’s up for you to decide. The
first step is figuring out two things:
Just reading my list, can you see what beliefs I should start to develop?
I want to develop open-mindedness for my knowledge, perseverance for
getting better, and I need to cultivate a strong, intelligent set of morals
I can live by. I need to believe I’m attractive, worth knowing, able to
speak with anyone, able to bring other people up, and so on.
These little things will be seen when a person meets me. They’ll see
the way I smile, walk, talk, shrug, eat, drink, and so on.
The best thing you can do to help yourself reach a goal is find a suitable
belief. BUT, reworking your beliefs can take a while, and it’s good to
take action right away. In the meantime, as you grasp and REALLY
REALLY believe your beliefs, you can work on emulating the behaviors
someone with that belief would do.
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This article is about becoming more attractive. But as an example,
let’s say you want to be more sincere:
Listen.
So you could focus on your listening, and that’d make you a bit more
sincere. Likewise, many sincere people make eye contact, so you could
try making eye contact more. As such, you’d feel more sincere, and
then a cycle has begun.
6 Body Language
The main charactersistics you want your body language to have are:
1. Relaxed and Slow.
2. Big and Open.
No weird jerky movements. No hesitation. Put your intentions out in
the open for all to see. If you are relaxed and confident you will natu-
rally take on certain nuances of body language.
You will:
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• Lean back. Leaning back shows that you are relaxed and comfort-
able with yourself and with the girl and her group. It is an invitation
for her to follow you into your comfortable reality. Leaning back is
not incongruent with direct game because it is not a sign of disin-
terest, only of relaxation. When you are seated, lean back in your
chair. Dont slouch, just lean back slightly. The same with when
youre standing against something, just lean back slightly onto it.
• Stand up straight. Bad posture is a sign of low self-esteem.
Good posture is a sign of confidence and is attractive to women.
You can improve your looks tremendously just by improving your
posture.
• Dont touch too early, or too late. Some guys turn women
off by touching them before the woman is comfortable with their
touch. Many more guys turn women off by not touching them at
all, and appearing asexual. The proper time to touch a woman is
largely determined by your frame, if you do it with the confident
expectation that she will enjoy the touch, then she will. Of course
there are also factors specific to the girl, but mainly it is your frame.
While you are learning, err on the side of touching a woman too
much rather than too little. You will have to set aside your ego
to do this, because at first your touches will often be rejected.
This is part of the learning process learn from the experience, and
eventually women will crave your touch.
• Make steady, warm eye contact. You want to avoid hard eye
contact, or staring. Similarly, you want to avoid darting eyes and
looking around the room, or looking at the floor it signals that
you are insecure. Look at her steadily are warmly.
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• Be completely relaxed, with no uptight or fidgety move-
ments. Like leaning back, this shows that you are relaxed and
comfortable.
7 Attitudes
Your attitude should be that of an alpha male. First of all, since you
believe you are an attractive male, you should not see your approaching
women as something you should be sneaky and ashamed about. This
is ridiculous. You are enriching the lives of every woman you approach,
and you should act accordingly.
Second of all, you should not care what other people think when they
see you approaching. Too many guys think, ’Bbut what if other people
see me talk to her?’ Who cares? Most of these people you are not ever
going to see again, so why do you care what they think about you?
And even if they are people who you do see again, you shouldnt be
controlled by what they think. An alpha male does what he wants, not
what others think he should do.
You should assume that you own the world, and that every single person
in the world likes you and wants to see you succeed. Assume that you
will be successful in everything you do. And most importantly for dating
and seduction, assume that every girl who you talk to is attracted to you.
This should be the attitude you strive towards. It cant just be a in-
sincere little affirmation you repeat three times before you talk to a
woman you really have to believe it. If you really believe a woman is
attracted to you, one hundred percent, than she will be.
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8 Commanding Presence
What is a commanding presence?
In order for a woman to stop and talk to you, you need to be more
commanding than the activity which she is engaged in. For a woman
shopping, your presence must be more commanding of her attention
than shopping. For a woman in a loud club, you must command her
attention more than the music, flashing lights, and other guys. For a
woman on a cell phone, you must command her attention more than
the person who she is talking to.
You will notice as you improve your commanding presence that you
can open women in situations which previously you thought were im-
possible. As you become more and more confident and dominant, you
will command the attention and of women with increasing ease, to the
point where you do not even consider the possibility that a normal,
friendly woman would not give you her attention. Because you are so
sure that you can command a womans attention, your presence will in
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turn become more and more commanding because of this.
Here are some things you can do to improve your commanding presence:
• Improve your tonality. Are delivering your opener to stop her
in a weak, timid voice? Or, are you saying it slowly, loudly and
confidently?
• Improve your body language. Do you stand in a hunched over,
with bad posture, and look down towards to floor? If so, relax, lean
back, and look people straight in the eye. Make warm, friendly
eye contact, take up space, and all the other things recommended
in the body language section of this guide.
• Improve your image. Dont dress like someone who doesnt pay
attention to their looks. This conveys that you think you are not
attractive, and that you dont think its worth spending time making
yourself look the best that they can. Dont dress in a generic way,
but also, you want to avoid overcompensating and dressing like a
clown. Find cool, tasteful clothes which give you a tight image
and show that you treat yourself well.
• Most important: Improve your beliefs. When you attempt to
stop a woman and get her in a conversation, do you confidently
believe that she will talk to you? If you do, then she will sense the
confidence and authority in your voice, and she will stop. If not,
then she will sense that you really dont expect her to stop, and
will get a weird vibe from you. Thus, she wont stop. Theres many
things you can do to improve your beliefs, including improving
your body language, tonality, image, and by repeated successful
experiences in social situations.. You can also improve your be-
liefs directly through various exercise to reframe your experiences
positively, which are taught in our workshops and bootcamps.
9 Vocal Tonality
Another very important factor which will make a man more attractive is
his vocal tonality. If your tonality is not good, even the smoothest, most
genuine, opening lines are not going to work for you. If your tonality
it is great, however, you can make anything seductive just by virtue of
you saying it.
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First, you need to project your voice loudly enough to be heard clearly.
This is especially important in the nighttime, where youre competing
with loud music. You want to strike a balance between being loud
enough to be clearly heard, and not being overly loud. A well-projected
voice lets everyone around you know you think what you have to say is
important, but a too quiet voice is easily ignored. Similarly, a too loud
voice is seen as overcompensation. Most guys, however, err on the side
of being too quiet. Project your voice from your diaphragm, loudly and
powerfully.
Once you have gotten into the habit or projecting your voice well, you
now want to work on the speed of your speech. Again, there is an opti-
mum speed to be most seductive, but most guys talk too fast. In order
to make your voice more attractive, slow down the pace of your voice.
At first it will seem ridiculous, like you are talking in slow motion. With
time, however, you will become habituated to the new, relaxed pace of
your voice. While your old, fast-talking voice conveyed that you were
hurried and uncomfortable, women will be drawn in and entranced by
your new, confident and relaxed pace of speech.
You should also calibrate the pace of your speech to the situation.
In a high-energy, party atmosphere you want to talk slightly faster. In
an intimate moment before a kiss, you want to talk especially slowly.
In loud club situations, your tone should be slightly higher than in the
daytime. This is because if you talk overly deeply in a club, your voice
will be drowned in the bass, and nobody will be able to hear you. Your
tone still should not be ridiculously high, just a little high enough to be
audible.
So, in a daytime situation you want your voice to be loud, slow, deep
and resonant. You want to convey complete relaxation and dominance.
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In a loud club situation, you want to make your voice slightly higher
and faster, and become even more loud, conveying energy and playful-
ness. We use tonality exercises in each one of our programs to achieve
a seductive tonality in the daytime, and a well-projected, captivating
and fun tonality in the nighttime. In addition, we coach all our clients
in-field, and give them feedback on their voice, and the ways that they
can improve on it.
So when I get the question ’Can I get success even though I’m ?’
... I shake my head. Insert any of ’short’, ’tall’, ’fat’, ’skinny’, ’old’,
’young’... also insert every race - yes, I’ve seen guys of all races get
nervous and wonder if they can succeed...
This is a common problem. You probably don’t like every single thing
about yourself. Who does? Hopefully you’re trying to work past the
things you don’t like and become the best person you can be.
Well your height isn’t going to change. But I don’t think that’s re-
ally what you care about.
No, what you care about is bedding beautiful women and getting plenty
of respect out of everyone you meet.
Regardless of your height, you can bed plenty of beautiful women, and
have very hot girlfriends.
The image you put forward has to be stronger than any negative stereo-
types about you.
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The image you put forward has to be stronger than any nega-
tive stereotypes about you.
If you’re short, you don’t want people to think ’Wow, he’s a short
guy’ when they meet you. You don’t want to give off a ’short vibe’.
Instead, you want to have some sort of powerful and positive image.
When a 20-year old woman sees Mel Gibson, does she think, ’He’s old’ ?
No way!
She thinks he’s a rockstar, and seems fun and cool and successful.
Look at Hugh Hefner, even.
Hugh is a bazillion years old, but his image is one of a certified, le-
gitimate, full-on playboy. And successful businessman and very cool
and fun guy to socialize with.
The image you put forward has to be stronger than any nega-
tive stereotypes about you.
A common question I get is, ’I’m race, can I get race of woman?’
I was blown away - and I told him of course he could, but he had
to have a stronger image than something generic.
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Think typical ’suburban guy’. I don’t have a suburban guy image.
This works for and against some races that are stereotypical as be-
ing powerful and masculine.
But what if you’re not one of those? The sad reality is that some
races have stereotypes attached to them in certain places.
The image you put forward has to be stronger than any nega-
tive stereotypes about you.
I used to work out at a gym that had guys that looked to be Tri-
ads in them. Y’know, Chinese mafia. Ripped, dragon-tattooed guys,
shaved heads, hot girlfriends and luxury cars and nice clothes and a
’Don’t mess with me’ look.
When any woman looked at one of these guys, she didn’t think, ’He’s
Asian.’ She thought ’He’s powerful’ or ’He’s a gangster’ or ’He’s buff.’
They called him ’the bull’. No joke. I called him ’el toro’ very, very
respectfully. This guy had women all over him - black, white, latin, and
of course Asian as well.
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because -
The image he put forward was not stronger than the negative stereo-
types around him. When I told this to my Asian student last weekend,
he started to ’get it’. By the end of his program, he was picking up
girls of various races normally.
I got to make a brief pass through France recently. You can bet your
last nickel that I didn’t want people to think ’American’ right off the
bat. I wanted women to think ’Wow, what a stylish powerful guy.’
When women would ask where I was from, I’d tell them to guess. I
was getting a lot of ’Amsterdam’, ’Italy’, and ’Russia’. That means I
was doing something right - I didn’t put off the negative vibe associated
with Americans in France.
I’ve been to parties where I was the only white person in the room.
Hell, I’ve been to parties where I was the only person in the room that
didn’t speak fluent Mandrin, Spanish, or Creole. But I’d keep a warm
smile and a good vibe, and yeah, everyone knew I was white... but I
wasn’t ’the white guy’.
Think on that. If you’re wondering, ’Am I too short?’ ... then think of
if you put off a short vibe. Tom Cruise is pretty short. I’ve had students
at short as 5’2.
In fact, the shortest student I’ve ever had slept with 3 women within 2
months of meeting with me. Thing was, he didn’t identify with being
a ’short guy’. He didn’t have a ’short vibe’. No, he acted like a high-
rollin’ playboy type, and the women bought right into that.
Cultivate an image for yourself. If you have a weak image, then people
will pick something arbitrary about you and assume the stereotypes.
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If you have a solid image, your age, race, height, and all those other
things you have no control over - They fade to black.
But, you need to master much more than this to escalate an inter-
action with a woman all the way to sex, and also to establish a good
relationship, exclusive or open, with her afterwards.
Such a change may seem drastic to you, and it is. You may be asking
yourself, if you are not currently having any success with woman, how
you could ever possibly change into a truly attractive guy who can get
any woman he wants?
Youll hear two of the worlds best pick-up artists and dating masters
teach you about the basics of body language, tonality, image and style,
vibing, and all the other topics mentioned above, which are essential
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for attracting women.
The groups are kept small as the student to instructor ratio is lim-
ited. We wont just give you a bunch of techniques, we change your
core identity through working directly with your inner beliefs.
After weve supercharged your game in the seminar, we will take you
out into the field and coach you interacting with women in real time.
We will point out your mistakes and sticking points, and give you tar-
geted feedback.
Well work with you on any component of the game where you need
work, be it opening, number closing, kissing a girl, or holding an inter-
esting conversation. Well even work with you on phone game.
If you check out our reviews, you will see we care about your suc-
cess and will give you personalized attention every step of the way. The
field work will take place in both daytime and nighttime venues, pro-
viding you with the skills to meet and attract women anywhere, anytime.
You will still need motivation and hard work to achieve success, but
if you have them the skills that you learn in the workshop can save you
literally years of crashing and burning with women, and years of frus-
tration and loneliness from going home alone, night after night. You
can benefit instantly from our collective years of experience, and boost
your game to the next level in one weekend.
If youre interested in learning more about our programs, visit our web-
site, http://www.the-approach.net. Also, be sure to check out our soon
to be released e-book, detailing not only our fundamental methods of
generating attraction and escalation, but also some brand new advanced
concepts not found anywhere else.
If you have any questions, feel free to drop us a line at our website.
Yours Truly,
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12 Testimonials
’I was literally trusting these guys with my life, and I could not be hap-
pier. I came to the bootcamp with a completely open mind. It was
great and I learned so much. If I did not do this I may or may not have
gotten to the level of where I want to be, but if I ever did get there,
it will save me years of my time. I dont think there is many things as
valuable as this.’
’Sebastian is one of the best pick-up artists I’ve had the pleasure of
meeting - his game is top-notch in all ways... He knows all about the
learning process. Highly recommended.’
-Chad of Austin, TX
’Sebastian and Vincent have completely different styles from one an-
other, and both get the same amazing results using theApproach frame-
work and concepts. And there’s a whole underground network of guys
they’ve trained in every city - their former clients. It’s like you become
a part of this exclusive secret society or something.
I still correspond with them through email, we share secrets and all
the latest tricks of the trade and so on. I always remember back - one
time watching Vincent, I realized how easy it was to pick up girls who
already had boyfriends or were married even - I mean it was effortless!
Just knowing that these guys exist was enough to convince me to sign
up, if nothing else, so that they can’t steal my girlfriend!’
’Yoooo Vince!
Wasup big man! You wont believe, I have on my todo list since the
seminar to email you a testimonial... but the list is way too long! LOL
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field’ at the mall. It took me the 2nd date to get in there. The hardest
part was making the time with my schedule to hook up with her. LOL.
J so as u can see Im a happy camper.
You guys are Hitch to the extreme! Forget reading books on this stuff,
in my humble but accurate opinion, no other method has made me
learn more than yours of making us actually do the work out in the field
in real life situations, not just theory. And Im amazed with how those
couple lines you advised me to say to past exs, who have a man, but
still keep them as a bootycall...worked!’
I can’t say enough great things about Vincent and Sebastian. Although
both guys are in their twenties, I was blown away at how well their
method works for someone like me. They identify with me and under-
stand all of my concerns.
Their very smooth and subtle approach is well suited for older men.
They actually pointed out many advantages we as older men have with
younger women. For example, young women love older men if they
have class and sophistication. They also reminded me of all the posi-
tive things I have personality wise to offer women.
In addition, my wife loves the changes she has seen in me, and is
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convinced the program has strengthened our relationship.’
-Vlad G of Boston, MA
’I’m really glad I took theApproach. I took a bootcamp with two addi-
tional days of personal coaching and it paid off huge.
Before I took the program, I was a fat, poorly dressed loser. Now,
I can’t guarantee you’ll have the results I did, but I was serious about
improving.
He taught me for a bit longer, then told me: ’I can tell you’re seri-
ous about success. Do you want the truth?’ I did. He went on, ’I can
teach you all the tech in the world, and it’s all golden, but you’ll never
reach the highest levels with your attitude. Are you willing to change
how you think?’
Sebastian related his story to me, and told me how he once was worse
off than me in a lot of ways. I found it unbelieveable when he told me
how he used to look and act.
I was determined to get better. At the end of the first day, I told
Sebastian I wanted to practice all night before I saw him tomorrow. He
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told me to hold on and got on his cell phone, and called a friend of his
who is both a personal trainer and a former student.
I went out with Sebastian’s trainer friend and we practiced after the
program hours were over. The next morning, I went to the gym with
him and lifted weights and broke up a big sweat. It hurt a lot but it
felt good too.
Things were going well. I flew through day 2, and Sebastian said I
was really talented for going at such a good pace. I felt very comfort-
able with him the whole time and he made me feel really good.
The next day, I was pretty sore still from the gym, but I felt good.
I met up with Vincent and we went shopping for clothes for me. Vin-
cent TOTALLY changed up my style, taking me from beyond bad to
looking really really sharp.
I got a new haircut and Vin brought in his girlfriend of the time who
worked in the fashion industry to help me get the most cutting edge
style and find good bargains at the same time.
I was really happy with how I got dressed up and I was feeling really
good in my new clothes. I said goodbye to Vin’s girlfriend at mid-day
and we worked all on conversational skills, then more fieldwork. I was
a bit frustrated at this part of the program since there’s so many skills,
but Vin took good care of me and said it’s natural for it to take a while
to seep in.
As we were wrapping up day 3 Vin got a call and answered it, then
handed the phone to me. Sebastian asked if I wanted to work out in
the morning. I said hell yes, of course I do.
42
He told me to get plenty of sleep that night and eat a good break-
fast in the morning.
We broke from the gym a few hours before the program was going
to start, and Sebastian said he needed a nap. He went and got some
sleep, but I couldn’t help but go practice my developing skills in a book-
store.
I met Sebastian and Vincent actually came along as well free of charge.
Vin had explained to me when I signed up that you can get 1:1 personal
coaching time, but a lot of times if Sebastian or he is free and in the
same area, they’ll go two instructors to one student.
Well it was very cool having both guys. I got to see a couply demon-
strations with Sebastian or Vincent explaining what the other was doing
in real time. It was also cool to see how they worked together and got
things going.
The got into screening, qualifying, touching, cold reading, and other
skills. I learned a lot of advanced techniques but I was able to start
doing a lot right away. Things were coming together great.
We covered a wide range of subjects and then got out there. I got
four phone numbers and a kiss! Amazing!
I felt better, looked better, and was doing much better. After we broke,
I called one of my female friends and she said I sounded totally different
43
on the phone. I asked how and she said ’Totally alive.’
The last day of my custom program, I was really sore but it was a
good sore. I felt tired but energized. I moved a bit stiffly from the
weights yesterday but it was all good. I looked great in my new clothes.
I came to the last of day of my personal coaching program. Vin and Se-
bastian were both there again. Vin taught relationship skills, Sebastian
taught the basics of good sex, and they went over the full structure of
a pickup together. They covered miscellaneous skills, answered all my
remaining questions, and gave me exercises to do to keep getting better.
We did a little more field work and things were going really well. I
got a few more numbers and another kiss. They did my final debrief,
then Sebastian saw a really hot blond chick as we were ready to break.
He said ’Go, she’s all yours.’
I went in and started running my game. Things were so fluid it was out
of this world. I was sore and I felt like my movements might’ve been
kind of jerky from lifting weights but it didn’t even matter. At the end,
I invited this beautiful beautiful blond girl back to my place for dinner
and drinks...
The program has been amazing to me. It’s been three weeks and
I’ve slept with three women, including the girl from the bookstore and
the blond girl. I’m actually looking to settle down once I find the right
woman, but right now I’m going to have some fun before I do.
I got a gym membership and I’m doing full body workouts three times
a week. I feel so much more happy and successful, and I’m meeting
so many more women. A lot of women in my life that were looking
right past me and taking me for granted now are trying to get with me.
Haha too late!
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I’m so glad I took theApproach and I can’t thank Vincent and Se-
bastian enough. I don’t know if everyone can have my results, but if
everyone can get even 1/10th of what I did, it’s worth every penny.
Life-changing, motivating, empowering, amazing performance. Vin-
cent, Sebastian, thank you. You are gods among men.’
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