One sided dialogue

Jeff Brooker

Waiter(Me): Welcome to Kitchen by the Ocean. Table for two?

Guest 1: Yes, thank you! Preferably one by the window.

Waiter: Right this way. Unfortunately, we have no more window tables available but this corner booth is
one of the best for a romantic evening. Can I get you both something to drink?

Guest 1: I take a glass of your house red wine.

Waiter: Our house red is a merlot. Will that be ok?

Guest 1: Yes fine. Just make sure it isn’t warm.

Waiter: Perfect! A glass of the house red, chilled. And for you sir?

Guest 2: A bud light please

Waiter: Great! A glass of the house red and a bud light coming right up.

[walks to bar and speaks to barman]

Waiter: One bud light and a glass of the house red, chilled.

Barman: Here you go, a Coors light and a glass of warm white wine

Waiter: No, no, no. Bud light and red wine cold

Barman: Ah! Here you go

Waiter: Thank you!

[Walks to table]

Waiter: Here you go, a…

Guest 1: Give that here! Why did you take so long?

Waiter: My apologies, madam. I didn’t mean to make you wait. Are you two ready to …

Guest 1: Because you took so long we ordered through your manager and he promised to have it out in
two minutes, so chop, chop! Go check on your food

Waiter: I’m glad my manager could help. I will get right on it and check for it.

[Walks to kitchen]

Chef: What is this about a super quick order of whatever is available?

Waiter: Oh, some special customers ordered through my manager as they were unhappy with waiting
30 seconds for me. Can you make it one of the special orders?

Chef: Of Course! Special order up!

[Make noises of disgust and happiness]

Waiter: Let me put the final topping on the meal!

[Spits on meal]

Waiter: Thank you, kitchen!

[Walks to table]

Waiter: Here you go! Chef special meal for two enjoy!

Guest 1: It looks so juicy

Waiter: I’m so glad you think it looks juicy! Enjoy your meal!