8 Bulletproof Ways To Stop Giving A

Damn What Others Think Of You

by Stephan | 1 comment

You’re walking down the street and pass a group of 3 people, they glance at
you.

You are in a busy mall, and your brain is going 1,000 miles per hour and you
are nervous as hell.

You just went on a date, and can’t sleep because you can’t stop thinking about

when you dropped your glass of water on the oor.

You are driving down the street and avoid making eye contact with the people
in the other cars because you think they are judging you negatively.
Recognize yourself in the examples from above?

You, my friend need to stop giving a damn what others think about you…

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In this article, I’ll show you 9 ways you can reverse course, and:

Speak your mind freely without ANY hesitation.

Not give 2 ying fucks about getting rejected.
Stop seeking approval and validation from people that don’t matter.
Greatly reduce your fear of awkwardness
Turn your insecurities into paper tigers
Start seeing other people as your friends instead of competition.

Let’s get into it…

 Why You Currently Give So Many
Fucks

The main reason why you currently give a fuck about what other people think
of you comes down to one thing:

It’s that you ping o of others to try and nd “proof” that you either are the guy

you wish you were, or are NOT the guy you are afraid you are.

In other words, you are approval seeking.

And this approval that you are searching for is often just a re ection of how

you feel about yourself on the inside.

Let me explain:

Guy A is walking down the street and a hot girl passes him and glances at him.
He then thinks to himself;
“Yeah, I’m hot and that’s why that girl looked at me.”

Guy B is walking down the street behind guy A and the same hot girl glances at
him. But guy B thinks to himself;

“Damn, why did she look at me? She must have thought I was weird looking.”

You see there are two possible reason’s as to why you give a fuck what others

think of you:

You either give a damn because you want to keep your positive self-image
going (think a chronic Instagram poster addicted to getting “like’s”).
Or you ping o of others to try and “get proof” that you are “not so bad
after all”…

This post is for the person in the latter category.

If you constantly feel judged all the time, are nervous around others and are

the “nice guy”, chances are that you do not have a high level of self-con dence
in yourself, and you seek validation clues in the external world that will make
you feel better about yourself.

Because you don’t summon that self-respect internally on your own, you look
to others to dictate where you stand on the “cool” scale.
The only problem is, that looking outwards for that validation/approval cannot
work at making you comfortable around others and you won’t be able to stop
caring what others think of you.

Why?

Because your whole sense of well being is tied to others opinion of you and

you can’t control how people will react/view you.

So you set yourself up for failure from the get-go…

Understand this:

Other peoples opinion of you is none of your business, and I can show you how
to stop caring about it.

8 Ways To Stop Giving A Fuck About

What Others Think Of You
Not giving a fuck is not something that you “reach” at some point…

It’s a skill that you develop with time and will continuously improve.

Not giving a fuck is not what you should be aiming to “attain”.

Instead, you should try to develop your level of comfort with yourself.

“Not giving a fuck” just means that you are so comfortable being your 100%

real self around other people, that they cannot dictate who you are…

You do not give them that power.

No hiding shit, no resistance, no hesitation… Just you, vomiting your authentic

personality into the world.

The more I get comfortable with myself, the fewer fucks I give about what
others think about me.

The two go hand in hand.

I couldn’t care less if they were judging me negatively, because I know that I
could judge them negatively also…

But I don’t because I understand that it’s impossible for me to grasp the full
picture of someone’s character and people don’t know my full story either…

We are all on this journey together.

Not everybody will like me and I won’t like everybody.

Here are 9 ways that you can stop giving a damn what others think of you.

Way #1: Practice Saying What You REALLY Think

This is very important since censoring yourself is one of the best ways to make
sure that you’ll give a fuck about what people think about you in the future.

Think about it…

Your words are only words… they cannot physically hurt anybody.

But when you keep yourself from saying this or that because you are afraid of
saying the “wrong” thing or having someone dislike you, you will soon nd
yourself carefully choosing your words and your spontaneity will su er as a

result.

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This happens because your brain remembers all the times you kept yourself
from saying things that could potentially be taken the wrong way, and in turn
increases your anxiety next time around when you’re in the same situation.

Your subconscious reason’s that all the negative things you feared would

happen if you actually said that stu would have happened if you did not keep
your self from saying it.

You subconsciously think you got saved from ridicule by staying silent.
Your brain thinks this:

“Last time, I almost said something that would for sure have made people
laugh, ridicule or get angry at me… But thankfully, none of that stu happened
because I kept my mouth shut or said something “safer”.”

You might be afraid of speaking your mind because you tried it in the past and
got ridiculed for it.

Maybe this happened a few times in a row and you then decided to just shut
the hell up from then on.

That was my approach to things in the past…

But the problem with this approach is that you keep yourself from learning 2
majorly important things:

1. That most of the time, saying what you really think (even if it’s weird, extreme
or di erent), other people’s reaction to it probably will be much less
intense than you think.
2. It keeps you from learning how to handle and get desensitized to a negative
reaction.
If you’ve always avoided saying the things that you were really thinking out of

the fear of being ridiculed or disliked, then you’ve never trained yourself to
handle a bad reaction.

And you’ll start fearing those bad reactions as a result of desperately

trying to avoid them at all cost.

You’ll try and minimize any attention to be brought to you… You’ll “play it safe”

instead of expressing yourself.

But the people that are the freest and that give the lease fucks about what
anybody thinks about them are actually very open about their views and they

don’t care if others might not agree with what they have to say.

They just say it…

Being authentic and speaking your mind is crucial if you want to stop giving a
damn.

Authenticity (or your ability to share your 100% real self with the people around
you) is directly related to your “I-don’t-give-a- ying-fuckness” muscle.

The two go hand and hand.

You cant have one without the other.

Actionable exercise: Start experimenting with how far you can

push things verbally

Next time you are in a conversation with someone, try to catch yourself
censoring yourself and not saying what you actually want to say.

Then practice stepping out of your comfort zone and deliberately saying it to
see what happens

If you do this a few times every week, you will soon nd yourself being a lot less
reserved around others and a lot more talkative because your words won’t be
blocked anymore.

Way #2: Get Rejected… Often

You need to get desensitized to getting rejected.

Contrary to popular belief, getting rejected doesn’t only make you feel bad right

after, rejections actually have an amazing positive bene t also.

They have the power to make you care less about what other people think of
you.

In his book “Rejection Proof”, Jia Jiang makes the case to show that getting
rejected often (by asking strangers out of the ordinary requests, like having the
donuts placed like the Olympic ag instead of just side by side), can actually
desensitize yourself to the opinion of others.

And not caring if you get rejected opens up a whole slew of amazing
opportunities that were hidden in plain sight before.

Things that looked impossible before suddenly enter the realm of the possible.
Let me ask you this… if you did not care at all about getting rejected, what are
some of the things that you would try that you wouldn’t dare trying right now?

Approach that girl you nd really attractive?

Would you apply for your dream job?
Go take salsa lessons?
Would you ask for a raise?
Would you ask for a complimentary room upgrade next time you go
traveling… Free of charge?

The point is, that when you become desensitized to getting rejected, you
are free to do and try a multitude of things you wouldn’t normally do and
you take life’s many opportunities by the reins.

Life becomes much more fun and things just start to happen because of your
increased level of action-taking.

Take it from Wayne Gretzky:

“You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take”.

This is so true.
And having an acute fear of getting rejected keeps you in a safe (but boring)
bubble.

At Freedom Academy, we advocate freeing yourself from anything and

everything that is holding you back in life.

Actionable exercise: Get rejected

Next time you buy something, ask for something for free…

The point is not to actually get something for free (although in my own
experience, the stu you can get away with is really surprising), the point is to
ask, and then get rejected.

If you can do this a few times per week, rejection will soon not feel as bad

Way #3: Practice Not Being Liked By Someone

You might nd this one a bit extreme, and I get it…

You’re probably thinking:

“Wait, is this guy really saying I should get disliked by people to stop giving a
damn about what people think about me?”

And my answer to that is yes and no…

No, I’m not saying that you should make someone hate your guts and want to
kill you.

But yes, I am saying that you should become ok with the fact that some
people will not like you in life… and that is totally normal.

In the past, I was a typical nice guy, approval seeking, make-everybody-around-

me-feel-at-ease type of guy…

My #1 mission in life was to make sure nobody thought badly of me.

So naturally, all of my actions were engineered to try and mold myself into
what I thought others wanted me to be like.

Big mistake!

By doing that, two negative things happened:

1. People could sense that I was being “fake” around them and that I was
just seeking their validation.

People can feel it when someone does this… and you know what’s the rst
thing they think when it happens:

Impostor!
The vibe that people get when they see someone is being fake around them is

that subconsciously they think:

“Why is this guy being fake around me, he must be trying to get something out
of me.”

1. I couldn’t relax around others.

The more I tried to avoid doing or saying things that could potentially get
people mad at me or dislike me, the more nervous I got around them.

This was especially true around authority gures (like my boss, popular people,
or hot girls).

If you want to completely stop giving a damn what other people think of
you, you have to become ne with the fact that some people will not like
who you are… and make peace with that.

The reality of the situation is that you cant make everybody like you…

And when you try to do that, you sacri ce yourself, your authenticity and your
spontaneity.
 Actionable exercise: Disagree with someone

Note: this should only be done if you ACTUALLY disagree with somebody.

Disagreeing with somebody for the sake of disagreeing is missing the whole
point of this exercise.

Other note: Don’t go full blast verbal ght if its someone that is very close to
you. This should preferably be done with strangers, friends of friends,
coworkers that you don’t see too often, etc.

Next time you are talking with someone and you have a di erent point of view,
share that with them AND HOLD YOUR POSITION no matter how agitated the
other person gets. Unless they convince you of their point.

The trick here is to be true to yourself even if someone holds a grudge

against you.

This might feel bad at rst, and if you do, then the exercise is working!

The goal here is to become ok with having people NOT like you.

Doing this will make you not give a fuck anymore since you won’t be trying to
get people to like you all the time.

It’s better to be yourself and have some people love the real you, and others
dislike you, than to have everybody “kinda” like you…

Way #4: Do Stu That Is Out Of The Norm

Are you afraid of looking weird or being seen as odd?

Well, people that actually don’t give a fuck don’t really care about that.

They understand that whatever THEY do, is totally ne because it came from
THEM.

Even if other people think they are weird, they couldn’t care less…

At the root of this indi erence is a deep understanding that:

“We are all weird in our own way… So if you laugh at me because I do
something you think is weird, I could laugh at you for desperately trying to t in
and be like everybody else.”

Free people are individuals rst and often don’t care about groupthink.

They don’t necessarily seek to be di erent, but they don’t care about how

they are portrayed in other peoples imagination.

That’s why often, people that don’t give a fuck have an “out-of-the-norm”
fashion style.

If you constantly nd yourself trying to “ t in”, molding your behaviours to what

is deemed “normal”, or be seen as someone “cool”, then its no wonder why you
give so many fucks about what others think:

Your whole persona is centered around “being seen” a certain way.

“Should I wear this shirt… what if people think its weird?”

“What if people see me hanging out with this guy, they will surely think I’m a
loser!”

The reason why you care so much is that you are living in a self-created prison.

You regulate your own behavior to try and get approval from strangers.
This happens because you are afraid of bringing attention to the aspects of

yourself that you deem weird, negative or “not good enough”.

You don’t want to bring attention to yourself by doing stu that’s out of the
norm because doing so might expose how you really feel about yourself:
inadequate.

Break that cycle by engaging in a mini comfort zone boot-camp!

Way #5: Desensitize Yourself To Getting

Embarrassed

If “not giving a fuck what anybody thinks of you” and being totally socially free
was a treasure at the top of a castle, it’s gatekeeper would be embarrassment.
 Embarrassment/humiliation is the single most powerful thing that is keeping
you from actually not giving a fuck…

For socially anxious people, embarrassment is the plague that overshadows

and makes every situation seem unbearable.

More speci cally, the fear of getting embarrassed in front of others is the
biggest obstacle in between you, and what you want: to stop caring what
others think of you.

Embarrassment is the problem here not because it feels bad, but because it
pushes you to avoid most situations.

It’s your fear of being awkward and or humiliated that keeps you from trying

and doing the stu that will actually make you not give a fuck anymore.

Therefore, nding ways to desensitize yourself to feeling embarrassed will

greatly help you in your life and in your not-giving-a-fuckness.

Notice that I’m not saying to try and eradicate embarrassment (that’s
impossible).
Instead, we have to get comfortable with and be ok with the fact that
sometimes, embarrassment is going to show its ugly head, and then learn
how to DEAL WITH IT better.

In 99% of all the people that come to me for help with their social anxiety,
avoidance as a result of being afraid to be embarrassed or awkward in front of
others is the #1 reason why they are still struggling with this problem.

Their reasoning is simple:

“I hate (with a passion) feeling awkward, embarrassed, or humiliated, therefore

I’ll just avoid any situation that might provoke/produce it”.

But this way of thinking is actually the best way to ensure that you will still feel
a lot of those bad emotions in the future.

By avoiding situations that might make you awkward, you are just reinforcing
your conviction that those situations are dangerous.

If you want to stop giving a shit what other people think of you, you have to
desensitize yourself to feeling embarrassed.
 Actionable exercise: Deliberately trigger embarrassment

Step 1: Next time you are in public, do something that will trigger you to
feel a bit of embarrassment or humiliation.

Examples of things you can do are:

Dropping a fork on the oor while eating.

Mispronouncing a word.
Starting a conversation with a total stranger.

It can be small and it could be anything that you normally wouldn’t do because
of your fear of getting embarrassed.

Step 2: Immediately after you have done something outside of your

comfort zone, bring your undivided attention to the sensations in your

body.

You can do this by asking yourself the following questions:

Can you “describe” what the embarrassment, humiliation, awkwardness

feels like?
Where is the negative sensation the worst in my body?
Are you able to let the feeling take you over, without trying to get rid of it?

Doing this will put you on the right track to becoming able to get comfortable
with getting embarrassed and not making it such a big deal.

Getting over embarrassment is crucial if you want to stop caring what other
people are thinking of you since it will allow you to part take in situations you

normally would keep yourself from engaging in.

If you want more information on how to deal with and desensitize yourself to
awkwardness, you can read my book: “Total Social Freedom” which takes you

from A to Z and shows you exactly what to do to become totally socially free in
30 Days or less.

Way #6: Display Your Insecurities Instead Of

Trying To Hide Them

A huge part of not caring at all what people think of you has to do with how

comfortable you are with yourself.

When you are around other people, do you often feel as if you have to hide

aspects of yourself?

Or do you tip-toe around your words to make sure you don’t say something
that could potentially reveal an aspect of yourself that you deem unacceptable?

Well, the time has come for you to make peace with your insecurities…

And what’s the best way make this happen?

Display them!

Yup! If you want to get rid of your insecurities, the best way to overcome them

is to showcase them and deliberately expose them to other people.

Doing so will remove any of the fear that you have surrounding it.
Giving a fuck about what people think about you means that you care about
their opinion of you…

It means that you let them dictate who you are.

And when you have a bunch of shit you’re trying to hide, your guilt
surrounding it just keeps growing and growing.

As a result, you will constantly be afraid of getting EXPOSED!

But your insecurities need not stay hidden.

People that 100% don’t give a shit talk openly about their insecurities, and in
the process they become much less insecure about those aspects of

themselves.

Honesty is the quickest road to freedom.

Actionable exercise: Reveal one of your insecurities to somebody

close to you
 Next time you are chatting with somebody close to you that you feel

comfortable with, when the opportunity arises, reveal one of your insecurities
that they don’t know about.

It could be just saying that sometimes, you get nervous in social situations. Or

that you hate the way your nose looks…

It doesn’t have to be something big. With time you can practice openly

talking about more and more about the stu you don’t want others to

know about you.

Doing so will make you not give a fuck anymore.

Way #7: Stop Judging Others Like You Fear They

Are Judging You

One of the main reason’s why you care so much what others think of you is
because you think that they are judging you in the same way that you judge

them.

This is especially true if you are constantly judging others negatively.

If you are always nding little things here and there that you can pick on about
other people, your brain subconsciously thinks that others are doing the

same towards you.

This would explain why you care so much what others think about you… You

think that everybody is judging you negatively!

 An important fact to consider is that the stu we think others are thinking
might not always be accurate.

In fact, it’s probably way o and not accurate at all.

Most of the time, we project OUR OWN THOUGHTS onto what we THINK others
think of us…

But how can you know what they are actually thinking of you?

Can you read minds?

Actionable exercise: Start seeing others as your friends, not as

competition

This is not so much a single exercise, but more of a new approach to take

towards the world and the people in it.

Often times, we try to put others down in our minds in an attempt to feel
better about ourselves.
 This transforms your relationship with others from something that could be
positive (everybody is my friend), to something negative (everybody else is my

competition).

Start seeing other people as being “on your side”, as friends, as companions, as
fellow travelers on their own journey just like you.

Deliberately encouraging, complimenting and thinking generally good things

about the people around you has the amazing bene t of transforming
what you think others are thinking about you from negative, to positive!

Way #8: Have A Mission That Is Bigger Than

Yourself

One of the most powerful ways to stop caring about others opinion of you is to
choose and pursue a purpose un-relentlessly.

When you do this, the opinions of others stop a ecting you… It’s as if they

become secondary to your mission.

When you have something bigger than yourself to pursue, nobody can stop

you… Especially not their opinions of you.

By doing this, you don’t even care whatsoever what anybody could be thinking
about you at any given moment…

Most of the time, those thoughts don’t even enter your brain anymore.

Make sure you have something really exciting you are working towards, the
opinions of other people won’t matter anymore.
 HOW TO STOP GIVING A
FUCK

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1 Comment
 Rakshanda Vishram Naik on February 29, 2020 at 5:00 am

I literally needed something like this for back so many months ,

but I feel like I found it on right time when my days were going
hectic. This article is really helpful,made my mind free just in few
mins.

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Hey, I’m Steph!

I was housebound for 10 months because of my hectic level of social

anxiety just a couple years ago. I’ve learned ways to get better and

want to help you do the same!

Find out more

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