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Irshadullah Rahimi
Prof. Church
ENG 1010-84
23 April 2020

America and Democracy

Unbeknownst to many, the democracy we know of today is deeply rooted to the struggles

and efforts of the early black Americans. Despite being denied the equality promised to all, the

blacks fervently fought for their own struggles, pving way for every other rights struggle such as

women’s and gay rights. Nikole-Hannah Jones (2019), a black American journalist, gives light to

how the black Americans are truly America’s unsung heroes of democracy in her article entitled

America Wasn’t a Democracy, Until Black Americans Made it One.

The first enslavement of Africans in the United States can be traced back to over 400

years ago when they were purchased and taken to Jamestown. These salves became the pioneers

to slavery that saw millions of Africans chained and transported to become slaves of the

American people. Their enslavement, however, greatly contributed to American development,

mainly through cotton, which ignited the industrial revolution. For without these African slaves,

the Capitol, the White House and even products we know of would become unknown to most of

the world.

Years have passed since the first African slaves stepped foot in America, but Thomas

Jefferson refused to recognize them as human beings. He created a system of laws that ensured

cruelty to the blacks. Rather than being treated equally, they were considered as property and get

treated like commodities to get sold, mortgaged, gifted, or even discarded at will. A slave camp

by the name Monticello was also established where 130 people were enslaved.
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Over the years, black people have consistently fought for their freedom and equality.

During the late 19th century, a wave of systematic violence against blacks broke out and Isaac

Woodard, a soldier who served in the army, suffered from white violence. This was an

aftershock of the Civil War where white Americans were upset that black existence was a painful

reminder of the nation’s failures during the war.

Today, black people express their identity through unconventional practices, be it

language, naming or dressing, in order to express and create an identity for themselves. Black

American Culture is rooted to Africa, but is not African. It is its own unique culture by people

who seek an identity.

Despite the injustices suffered by the blacks, they made immense progress and brought

America to where it stands today. Slavery may have ravished black Americans for more than two

and a half centuries, but African Americans have made astonishing progress in America, not only

for themselves, but for every American citizen regardless of their race.
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ESSAY #2:

America’s Unsung Heroes:

The Story Behind American Democracy

“America Wasn’t a Democracy, Until Black Americans Made it One” is a documentation

of historical events in the United States from the 17th century up to the present. Nikole Hannah-

Jones discusses the discrimination and hatred towards African Americans. Hannah-Jones

narrates her father’s real-life encounters as a black American who served in the army to gain

recognition as an American. Regardless of his efforts to gain recognition, he suffered like most

of African Americans and never got ahead in life. The author utilizes several elements that

impacted not only the article, but the readers as well. The success of her narrative is influenced

by factors such as technique and the use of numerous writing elements such as genre, allusion,

prose and background.

The article documents some of the most frustrating challenges African Americans faced

in the 17th century in the fight for a democratic country. Moreover, the author documents her

own life as a black American, including the struggles she is currently facing. Jones reiterates that

her father was born in Mississippi, a state which was densely populated by African Americans,

and had to enlist in the army to gain recognition as an American citizen.

According to Hannah-Jones, African Americans were enslaved and faced severe

problems due to their race and color. Similarly, her grandmother was denied the right to vote or

use the public library just like all the other African Americans in the country. For this reason, her

grandmother and thousands of other African Americans left the southern part of America,
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moving to the north with high hopes of living a better life. However, even with the abolishment

of the international slave trade, the challenge they facced did not end here.

Hannah-Jones has incorporated many writing elements to catch the attention and educate

her readers. From the article, it can be observed that she utilizes a rhetorical element to illustrate

the challenges in fighting for black equality. Her persuasiveness, backed up by facts and real life

experiences, entails the audience to engage and immerse themselves in the composition.

The tone is another vital writing element utilized by Hannah-Jones in documenting the

challenges of African Americans. The author’s tone suggests that the African Americans have

endured severe challenges since the early period of slave trade to the current racial

discrimination in the country.

The tone is another vital writing element utilized by the author in documenting the

challenges of African Americans. Her persuasive tone suggests that the African Americans have

endured severe challenges since the early period of slave trade to the current racial

discrimination in the country. She presents her ideas in a clear and concise way that does not, in

any way, condemn the readers of their own opinion. Instead, she backs her central idea with facts

that help in persuading the audience.

One of the most essential elements in the article is its background. It documents the

challenges African Americans have faced before and after enslavement. Hannah-Jones presents

the actual difficulties of the black race during enslavement with facts backed up by history. She

also used stories from her family born in two different generations who have suffered from racial

discrimination. This, along with the factual information, makes her claim stronger and allows her

to educate and inform the readers of the message she intends to impart to them.
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The article does educate people from different regions and races about the suffering of

African Americans prior to democracy. It also shows us an in-depth understanding of their

struggles as blacks living in America. Most importantly, the article gives recognition to the black

American people who remain unacknowledged despite fighting for the democracy we know of

today. For without them, democracy wouldn’t even look and feel like democracy.
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Works Cited

Hannah-jones, Nikole. “America Wasn't a Democracy, Until Black Americans Made It One.”

The New York Times. The New York Times, August 14, 2019.

https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2019/08/14/magazine/black-history-american-

democracy.html?

fbclid=IwAR1u0Coa7Z5ASPORAEbqaggdlxfhcv2im40KcNwpBEYglNhWd7KUIq8B7

mU.
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What were the weakest aspects of this essay’s last draft before revision? How did you

decide what to change? Specifically, what aspects and/or passages did you change? How

did you go about making the changes? Where will your readers find a clear example of the

changes you made? How did each significant change affect the essay? What have you

learned in doing these deep revisions? What grade family should the essay now attain, and

why?

I believe that the initial essay that was submitted was weak in terms of grammar and

sentence constructions. Some of the sentences were obscurely unrelated to each other. Hence,

giving the readers a vague understanding of the composition. It was easy to revise based on the

comments by the professor which helped in deciding what needs to be changed. One obvious

change I made was the opening paragraph. I decided to provide a summary on the article rather

than telling my readers about the author, Nikole Hannah-jones.

By making each change, I believe that my essay is now clear, concise, and easy to

understand. Paragraphs are now connected to each other and for that reason, everything adds up

to a good conclusion. I have learned that revising does not mean my initial output was not good

enough. Rather, I take this as an opportunity to learn and challenge myself to do better. With

that, I think I must get an A after this revision as it really is different from my initial submission.
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