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Codes

PLDRF-BGFNF-0T2JC SHREK
8WZ5P-PJB4T-AMDZ9 Written by
7XT96-V4H58-FJ0BW William Steig & Ted Elliott
C2T0W-MDRXL-XJ9Y4 SHREK
AIWKQ-KE6MT-NPFZ0 Once upon a time there was a lovely
CGAIC-H3ZB9-5DVZA princess. But she had an enchantment
6CQI2-WKEBN-053R5 upon her of a fearful sort which could
N00JN-8EMRL-HGZYM only be broken by love's first kiss.
NRXQ7-QDWWR-X2RNJ She was locked away in a castle guarded
PAP9C-TP0BT-N96KD by a terrible fire-breathing dragon.
YJ50X-L7BVM-K8FX5 Many brave knights had attempted to
47Q33-22Y66-N9GLV free her from this dreadful prison,
43HQV-H32KD-AYAY7 but non prevailed. She waited in the
Z0PLH-JHC8L-HKMRR dragon's keep in the highest room of
9ERD9-X669B-8FD4R the tallest tower for her true love
LRTIP-CL2QL-882LM and true love's first kiss. (laughs)
BQC9F-EN6K5-YKGWR Like that's ever gonna happen. What
KAB0Z-4HNZL-36DRZ a load of - (toilet flush)
CP9R9-VHAQV-TGEYW Allstar - by Smashmouth begins to play. Shrek goes about his
XLJTQ-CE4IF-8QVB6 day. While in a nearby town, the villagers get together to go
FEER5-GYAVY-N8BRY after the ogre.
TDZGH-BJVIA-D0TPT NIGHT - NEAR SHREK'S HOME
KQR5Z-L4ZE3-66ETG MAN1
ZT82W-5X468-GWI55 Think it's in there?
5PVFX-PB8Q7-35TNM MAN2
YV8M7-6PNA0-CP4MD All right. Let's get it!
ZFEHB-HYGKP-98ZYT MAN1
CJVVE-PCKJ4-3E4BQ Whoa. Hold on. Do you know what that
RDLVC-9RFBT-YKRTM thing can do to you?
5Z059-ELAGB-Z6N23 MAN3
3IZ0M-72AWD-QQM7H Yeah, it'll grind your bones for it's
V4G7J-87MV7-2KNL3 bread.
4N5K7-W4H78-GC2CC Shrek sneaks up behind them and laughs.
77WP0-YBDZB-EPX6R SHREK
E73GR-3Z98J-RHBY5 Yes, well, actually, that would be a
DI7WI-6KZPE-QYFZI giant. Now, ogres, oh they're much worse.
66VAI-G0EFL-Y55EG They'll make a suit from your freshly
8MJLF-F8B4C-ZQR6N peeled skin.
DF088-B0RQD-M0PXY MEN
9GRZI-FGCV8-TKJEL No!
0F2AY-FCKQ4-DWAV0 SHREK
E3BDQ-76GTF-W0H3N They'll shave your liver. Squeeze the
F52DD-Z6BXH-RJ7GA jelly from your eyes! Actually, it's
882TZ-JHJZA-RAEN0 quite good on toast.
M9VGW-AH3HB-0XEZ4 MAN1
YW9IQ-DT370-PQY0Q Back! Back, beast! Back! I warn ya!
E9DAI-7LW4Y-Z2JNA (waves the torch at Shrek.)
0P6KQ-HQRVL-Y3ZQM Shrek calmly licks his fingers and extinguishes the torch. The
AZYW5-BYQIE-0L9YT men shrink back away from him. Shrek roars very loudly and long
M4KGW-8V5XQ-B7FYC and his breath extinguishes all the remaining torches until the
PRLJ7-T3MR9-RN56J men are in the dark.
M55N8-96N99-EMX9I SHREK
7L8VG-NCC98-XIC50 This is the part where you run away.
6C7JR-YK9Q7-9G698 (The men scramble to get away. He laughs.)
C2JKW-LDQF2-R2L5I And stay out! (looks down and picks
WNM9E-972Q0-KN2VW up a piece of paper. Reads.) "Wanted.
PF59X-YIKRH-AR435 Fairy tale creatures."(He sighs and
89E4B-7VIVM-WVA4E throws the paper over his shoulder.)
FWTKZ-TJ0WY-D8M6Z THE NEXT DAY
MWEZY-M9CZB-FRYWW There is a line of fairy tale creatures. The head of the guard
XBX39-69Q04-4JXL7 sits at a table paying people for bringing the fairy tale creatures
0QVAC-QH6KJ-PE0FI to him. There are cages all around. Some of the people in line
RFH06-QMM83-TDF7R are Peter Pan, who is carrying Tinkerbell in a cage, Gipetto
LXDLW-LYAMN-7ZLYX who's carrying Pinocchio, and a farmer who is carrying the three
L4LL2-93J8K-A0IYA little pigs.
D3QVJ-XQM5E-H4EIR GUARD
QRPDJ-2AG9P-545LK All right. This one's full. Take it
CEIMY-4P425-56TAT away! Move it along. Come on! Get up!
RD6X2-CDW8M-GT62N HEAD GUARD
IG2NN-Z8HD5-VGXZP Next!
RF4I4-HFW27-9K9CX GUARD
39VH8-MM3X8-Z8AVK (taking the witch's broom) Give me that!
2LTAG-BH3KE-20JA6 Your flying days are over. (breaks the
78V8Y-BQQH6-L5KJ3 broom in half)
0VWZ3-58D20-LJQFG HEAD GUARD
RZPH5-PAMEG-F5MBN That's 20 pieces of silver for the witch.
9JED9-LMAFG-G2GP4 Next!
FVI2A-7F4QR-FJ2TD GUARD
725YN-BJ90Z-4KNN3 Get up! Come on!
KE7CQ-2677M-XLMDY HEAD GUARD
4R7P9-L4QLX-YC6ED Twenty pieces.
5EM09-BAX9M-BYHXT LITTLE BEAR
G6TNP-8FEGI-BZXYQ (crying) This cage is too small.
HBK7N-HF2W5-ZM2W7 DONKEY
Y9X2I-5EKII-HPC5H Please, don't turn me in. I'll never
5JQV6-B8IPD-MN3WA be stubborn again. I can change. Please!
4ZARM-QRMR2-ERZCA Give me another chance!
5HYC0-NPQ29-86P6F OLD WOMAN
CR8I0-TA636-ZMTZF Oh, shut up. (jerks his rope)
MDYC5-CI3H0-383YK DONKEY
ZYNBB-K4HEL-E83EF Oh!
HMDQ2-7C5AW-765MC HEAD GUARD
ED8ZT-B3MDV-7YC64 Next! What have you got?
ILJA3-TXFYB-7EWH6 GIPETTO
3CJE4-JDAT6-IAHVH This little wooden puppet.
XRD7J-ZTJWW-84HX4 PINOCCHIO
QNX2I-R309Y-D0BAY I'm not a puppet. I'm a real boy. (his
TVPFG-DHT97-IWXK3 nose grows)
8NIPI-CG6EW-37QD6 HEAD GUARD
ZVXMW-5MXG5-8HHKV Five shillings for the possessed toy.
B0M3R-2F6W4-F07VB Take it away.
HMWK7-NR7QM-3E4K3 PINOCCHIO
0GW4L-JY5A9-WH2QQ Father, please! Don't let them do this!
N58EF-HGJB2-XVAYK Help me!
R4I30-Y6N5T-G8QLG Gipetto takes the money and walks off. The old woman steps up
383LC-D3MYT-BJ2VV to the table.
MRYBN-H4L74-45R4R HEAD GUARD
I85FQ-QRI0X-QLCH4 Next! What have you got?
C2H7Z-XPY2V-PQHPN OLD WOMAN
GP0IL-M3YCV-5A3B5 Well, I've got a talking donkey.
0ABGF-EPQMM-5QTIZ HEAD GUARD
JMA5A-0MBKK-BKX42 Right. Well, that's good for ten shillings,
DJPDH-XPIMX-GQ2KK if you can prove it.
K0JNJ-03WBA-P5TTI OLD WOMAN
6GX45-HB6IX-X32WV Oh, go ahead, little fella.
BXAFW-MHDEW-N3XTC Donkey just looks up at her.
PXHM0-VDCIL-48IXJ HEAD GUARD
YDC9F-MXLDW-BNDWV Well?
KB9QI-8LWLP-KR2AF OLD WOMAN
7FLLM-DQBVM-RVTK2 Oh, oh, he's just...he's just a little
YFL2F-L7LYE-IXXWW nervous. He's really quite a chatterbox.
PV9PW-GT7ZQ-5J5QX Talk, you boneheaded dolt...
XW5WX-PHI20-JMRXQ HEAD GUARD
256ZE-ZLM2N-C7W8A That's it. I've heard enough. Guards!
Z0D8P-PQINJ-MH437 OLD WOMAN
F0QWE-MXRFF-IPXCP No, no, he talks! He does. (pretends
96DNZ-XKCHN-VQNMT to be Donkey) I can talk. I love to
AVWT7-CQ68I-DVE9B talk. I'm the talkingest damn thing
0PZJX-5YDEZ-0W8CM you ever saw.
KY5PA-TE6Q7-X44K8 HEAD GUARD
N24QI-IVRF4-FQG5L Get her out of my sight.
Y3NJT-P5GWX-F3RQY OLD WOMAN
85H5N-C6DTD-MHHM6 No, no! I swear! Oh! He can talk!
M6X2I-N4RR4-RDQRE The guards grab the old woman and she struggles with them. One
FTATL-TM2W2-NKBLY of her legs flies out and kicks Tinkerbell out of Peter Pan's
QR7AB-V7KB5-LD5M5 hands, and her cage drops on Donkey's head. He gets sprinkled
H7L63-2J2J8-0LVC7 with fairy dust and he's able to fly.
Q76GP-Y4RHA-F3MKA DONKEY
GABV9-9VT7T-NY82M Hey! I can fly!
WNVZN-BG265-EGI44 PETER PAN
TND3Z-N3E7D-PWDV2 He can fly!
8QX3T-AFWVN-2IBLX 3 LITTLE PIGS
DG4NW-ZX7HK-VC03L He can fly!
VP57B-JJ0AG-AG4VT HEAD GUARD
GMW4C-EFV7R-5CDKF He can talk!
DDNPH-BECGR-VMMBD DONKEY
9RINP-YJ44X-9J8WB Ha, ha! That's right, fool! Now I'm
KQEL7-2TRPT-82BPX a flying, talking donkey. You might
69K6G-2WM68-0R07D have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly
XTE3W-YAEG6-N7PN7 but I bet you ain't never seen a donkey
F39AA-KFJK6-P84YD fly. Ha, ha! (the pixie dust begins
GP2NY-GXVB6-I0JQI to wear off) Uh-oh. (he begins to sink
RV6N8-Q8084-W0X0Q to the ground.)
CRY3M-WR80F-AWELY He hits the ground with a thud.
DRL3F-V8N7K-9IW7T HEAD GUARD
ZQXB9-M4QN2-8FZDG Seize him! (Donkey takes of running.)
NIYXM-FM6LQ-A75IR After him!
G02TW-2YE95-02PX0 GUARDS
R0VTG-ATX5V-IWTT4 He's getting away! Get him! This way!
J0NW7-L4I5K-QW3KY Turn!
NZZ9Q-GH58R-W69B5 Donkey keeps running and he eventually runs into Shrek. Literally.
5IML4-WMXPX-HIJYW Shrek turns around to see who bumped into him. Donkey looks scared
CPBAY-HHVRD-DVZMR for a moment then he spots the guards coming up the path. He
K4BAH-TZIYD-GXTTZ quickly hides behind Shrek.
0LDEB-ZH9BT-AGP06 HEAD GUARD
4M0J6-YTRZ6-69F77 You there. Ogre!
JQBDL-7F254-BBYX7 SHREK
ZTADF-46FL7-024VY Aye?
5A6JF-DH7CX-K0PHT HEAD GUARD
DXKT6-G2207-WK3YG By the order of Lord Farquaad I am authorized
NW4XK-RXBIW-T2I0L to place you both under arrest and transport
7Y3FR-JJN3C-6L8VX you to a designated resettlement facility.
MJWV3-LLN9R-L8Q9X SHREK
DYDL2-QET8L-LZMMF Oh, really? You and what army?
3LD3K-EMWKG-GYFTY He looks behind the guard and the guard turns to look as well
LA286-WDA2E-RXKBH and we see that the other men have run off. The guard tucks tail
QVZWZ-ZTLQL-B69G7 and runs off. Shrek laughs and goes back about his business and
BHP5K-BMRBK-BW4VH begins walking back to his cottage.
3WEQT-NCLW3-4HBLZ DONKEY
HFK44-YZQI7-3Z402 Can I say something to you? Listen,
WK822-BP3NC-TD0VW you was really, really, really somethin'
5FL5X-3AKBC-D038T back here. Incredible!
GWN6C-WQWKX-902Z4 SHREK
034TK-Z9RL0-BBQJ8 Are you talkin' to...(he turns around
QINT0-0RY00-ZPZA7 and Donkey is gone) me? (he turns back
YKCR5-XQ2RW-J0AB3 around and Donkey is right in front
MCBJC-WLJ83-5ADVV of him.) Whoa!
WEWFV-HQZ6F-PHMRZ DONKEY
GXPIF-W6TCJ-GHHR6 Yes. I was talkin' to you. Can I tell
54IP9-TDC70-QF2ZI you that you that you was great back
339GQ-GQGKX-P2KCH here? Those guards! They thought they
MYZY0-VPR76-3I6D8 was all of that. Then you showed up,
LNGXC-V7CCV-KNXZ8 and bam! They was trippin' over themselves
YZBQE-RQICR-8JJRA like babes in the woods. That really
IIBKQ-LRRQC-7LB0E made me feel good to see that.
EFGF0-5KZRM-936EP SHREK
QGPXK-KPD8X-HRXDB Oh, that's great. Really.
ECWVY-JTC8Y-9PMMH DONKEY
R8M3D-Z6BM6-M9TA4 Man, it's good to be free.
YQAFI-GJ9IH-DQ9A8 SHREK
LA4T6-Y6KCY-4WAHB Now, why don't you go celebrate your
BT98K-N72G4-BL6AV freedom with your own friends? Hmm?
ZCFNI-KI7E9-8HBIT DONKEY
FMV0P-5PL6G-2I6CY But, uh, I don't have any friends. And
9XD96-JYIWR-JW42N I'm not goin' out there by myself. Hey,
B2NNI-7X0RY-4XZPW wait a minute! I got a great idea! I'll
8CEF6-2TMGQ-NA603 stick with you. You're mean, green,
ZFDWN-QFDQF-84LCG fightin' machine. Together we'll scare
BVHB5-YL2XP-9YKRA the spit out of anybody that crosses
77F76-KNI3T-CNBH4 us.
79TFN-76B7E-4NX94 Shrek turns and regards Donkey for a moment before roaring very
68XLP-HDJ53-BBJ7M loudly.
M3ZI7-GAJWF-L4FCC DONKEY
T3B0Y-D3I82-7GYYH Oh, wow! That was really scary. If you
EP7GL-Z2RKM-PT845 don't mind me sayin', if that don't
X54FQ-DTDLL-EB5MW work, your breath certainly will get
EE4EI-60ERL-M2XIE the job done, 'cause you definitely
TMJ4Y-T7TA9-064BV need some Tic Tacs or something, 'cause
8WWGB-MH3RQ-BNJB6 you breath stinks! You almost burned
44V8P-8FBQ9-8BZT0 the hair outta my nose, just like the
4GCGJ-MBG87-F5GIB time...(Shrek covers his mouth but Donkey
RY58F-CJKYL-JIHX5 continues to talk, so Shrek removes
DKRMG-T4WVY-3MVI6 his hand.) ...then I ate some rotten
BE79G-QF745-RNCZ4 berries. I had strong gases leaking
8IE3I-474H7-8BHRC out of my butt that day.
0PQ7W-RKV7I-I7NED SHREK
KRRKT-RF7FA-7BF4X Why are you following me?
B764D-KIH7T-CBPT8 DONKEY
59GT6-0FMNW-JYK0Y I'll tell you why. (singing) 'Cause
TFR2I-84BNE-ZWT52 I'm all alone, There's no one here beside
XJIHX-GLPT0-GJXAH me, My problems have all gone, There's
NNVDG-6656D-Z0VNB no one to deride me, But you gotta have
KDZAM-7M4X5-NHEEZ faith...
XJIHC-WZBQL-I9P43 SHREK
4Y85I-8LIZD-IMXLX Stop singing! It's no wonder you don't
8FVK6-ZA7JM-LX2ZB have any friends.
5J47E-K6D56-VQZ0R DONKEY
R4IP9-MZXKP-RKRN2 Wow. Only a true friend would be that
2VJW4-EEJ7N-C4GG2 cruelly honest.
P7ATD-5WTGH-KECI8 SHREK
8VHJY-PEJKE-X5GPC Listen, little donkey. Take a look at
0ALCD-5ZCK0-Z6D95 me. What am I?
BXD39-8D5D4-P34X0 DONKEY
EQ7PJ-QVPXQ-8P9MA (looks all the way up at Shrek) Uh ...really
X2KRA-NY0YE-QNQFH tall?
03NI4-T9ETV-HPGRD SHREK
8LLZI-I5GQ6-IK7YZ No! I'm an ogre! You know. "Grab your
80KJP-MJGWV-IMJKG torch and pitchforks." Doesn't that
WZJRK-R3Y54-YL20A bother you?
4ACYN-P6RB4-0QB4R DONKEY
NKVMI-XZV9D-6P39L Nope.
BKYJ7-AC9I8-YHLP4 SHREK
XT04J-FHV07-00EG9 Really?
WP3W7-MD0HF-T9GEL DONKEY
9KRVE-T565I-TVAHN Really, really.
RIVHB-M7Z0E-897Y9 SHREK
YPLDF-7VF9F-E6APA Oh.
DWHB9-84XCP-F0MQG DONKEY
0ZVRF-G8IHL-Q23ZH Man, I like you. What's you name?
5CPZD-DM97G-C94DD SHREK
FTTAK-0KHY7-67BFT Uh, Shrek.
ML2QG-F9K6P-RLAXE DONKEY
4E46T-0W9BD-IE2N6 Shrek? Well, you know what I like about
GD52M-E8JDT-LD9VL you, Shrek? You got that kind of I-don't-care-what-nobody-thinks-of-me
788DN-3JRZJ-KEWE5 thing. I like that. I respect that,
77409-TR83G-8QCXJ Shrek. You all right. (They come over
KAX2B-R3PI7-94GCD a hill and you can see Shrek's cottage.)
AYH9Z-VLN3H-53KYB Whoa! Look at that. Who'd want to live
IPLHY-X8JG3-Q8RQQ in place like that?
JQ2YB-4C2YW-GK906 SHREK
Q3IE6-E8L4J-4JZNI That would be my home.
ML0Z2-4ZYFP-4TJ07 DONKEY
D4HZK-QGCNX-C4847 Oh! And it is lovely! Just beautiful.
2EQRN-TGWHK-LM4ZM You know you are quite a decorator.
QWLFA-BGNR0-DBVB8 It's amazing what you've done with such
MRQ0V-LAPV2-ZRCND a modest budget. I like that boulder.
ZDQD0-WZJFE-FAIIN That is a nice boulder. I guess you
3DKVZ-QMRIM-5IIRV don't entertain much, do you?
EZDFL-FMCYL-5YEP0 SHREK
LH7KY-GLXMW-4PAP7 I like my privacy.
3IVQ8-MVLPT-6L35K DONKEY
579P2-5TLZ8-YKAQD You know, I do too. That's another thing
7DEC6-RK7ET-7B4YL we have in common. Like I hate it when
F3HPC-MVA83-NP9YB you got somebody in your face. You've
Y0C5V-YN47P-ZKEAL trying to give them a hint, and they
LQTXI-VX7EB-87MQ2 won't leave. There's that awkward silence.
34FA6-97YBH-GDWPF (awkward silence) Can I stay with you?
V57DR-Y9682-ATCXW SHREK
TCJGG-2N6PT-ZABRL Uh, what?
D5CQ7-QLH5R-7FV95 DONKEY
5KA5R-6475T-KHK54 Can I stay with you, please?
WCWRZ-EFJME-DJIDZ SHREK
2Y4XB-QNMYK-V7QK3 (sarcastically) Of course!
H2VMV-AGQBZ-7JY2A DONKEY
DX0P3-P6M6Z-C5QEJ Really?
2K2VM-6P72D-K4JJV SHREK
NX0D6-A6WLV-99R58 No.
DFHJ4-BEQH0-RAJ5Q DONKEY
A2GWD-A70EY-RZ8ZN Please! I don't wanna go back there!
ZMP34-LW9R3-P3HNG You don't know what it's like to be
7HABC-08K80-2Y6Q9 considered a freak. (pause while he
QVG0N-GZHXJ-RDHLZ looks at Shrek) Well, maybe you do.
VH5CP-DPA4G-BZT7F But that's why we gotta stick together.
R9T36-EVA3X-TLQAJ You gotta let me stay! Please! Please!
ADMZP-A786T-T6JQ7 SHREK
Q4AXH-YBH7X-E8MPN Okay! Okay! But one night only.
BGKI8-QF37W-VDIWA DONKEY
BBR54-GNG6I-N987X Ah! Thank you! (he runs inside the cottage)
MV7M6-7CTXR-M0QDJ SHREK
JHZLT-9DYRI-P373P What are you...? (Donkey hops up onto
BPY9H-VQXRQ-PBCWC a chair.) No! No!
CMTD5-LQ3NL-BV0M2 DONKEY
BK7HT-80H69-YTIWF This is gonna be fun! We can stay up
7AIIH-8RB4K-7H5AM late, swappin' manly stories, and in
VJYPD-GIPWW-BQD98 the mornin' I'm makin' waffles.
4CPVJ-NLKAN-FMV6L SHREK
4CYQ2-HBXND-69F8W Oh!
PNTTH-3GCP2-2A2FK DONKEY
2200B-DCAQ9-LN9LD Where do, uh, I sleep?
JIY7X-6DD8F-29BMM SHREK
VV3B5-EC5IE-XNYEM (irritated) Outside!
AKHW8-8A082-LXMV8 DONKEY
NWJJX-5Q54T-MAYTX Oh, well, I guess that's cool. I mean,
GPCPC-HDRV6-6KHFI I don't know you, and you don't know
BYXY4-H6CCI-RVT6F me, so I guess outside is best, you
KMXGG-T9TW5-CJZVI know. Here I go. Good night. (Shrek
B8MF3-B0I00-H5W43 slams the door.) (sigh) I mean, I do
APHEJ-X5TB4-5IERZ like the outdoors. I'm a donkey. I was
E8AMB-T7FVK-HFMCG born outside. I'll just be sitting by
DP49F-ZJEW7-GW2YG myself outside, I guess, you know. By
BVP3Q-4T2K5-XYXKH myself, outside. I'm all alone...there's
LI059-AZZ9C-FKWJZ no one here beside me...
EGD7Z-BCLVZ-BYAIM SHREK'S COTTAGE - NIGHT
3H4IB-B27KV-HH76F Shrek is getting ready for dinner. He sits himself down and lights
JP6HP-4QTFD-2RH68 a candle made out of earwax. He begins to eat when he hears a
JTZ70-8J0KZ-P2DEG noise. He stands up with a huff.
TFCIC-KITHQ-WNXB4 SHREK
4QB0V-NCLV7-KA9Z9 (to Donkey) I thought I told you to
LN42Q-A7452-42KCR stay outside.
3AVBL-X4RKV-HITW0 DONKEY
57V3Z-FWZN7-KQ0YM (from the window) I am outside.
GBHGW-0WE5E-MN6PZ There is another noise and Shrek turns to find the person that
RENW9-TYIWF-A5QBG made the noise. He sees several shadows moving. He finally turns
HH0QG-IX5X5-H7NMF and spots 3 blind mice on his table.
5JJIL-LLR58-B3AF4 BLIND MOUSE1
5WQ9P-IRQPF-52EF3 Well, gents, it's a far cry from the
MR5X2-92QEP-BWT2V farm, but what choice do we have?
DNN5K-5DXPM-H8EZN BLIND MOUSE2
GQRAT-K9GDF-30AK4 It's not home, but it'll do just fine.
BKWY9-FQQM0-6B3MH GORDO
YJ3KL-QJKEM-Y6J0I (bouncing on a slug) What a lovely bed.
JYH6J-7F2EZ-HKIGB SHREK
TZFIY-5Q6KB-VK84K Got ya. (Grabs a mouse, but it escapes
DCW4Q-H5VWN-9G64T and lands on his shoulder.)
VIGTW-LFV43-EXLG6 GORDO
92VW5-THHV3-64Y8Z I found some cheese. (bites Shrek's
FF4JT-YWLWK-AQXN4 ear)
G7V9R-P7AIQ-ITVI4 SHREK
EAEFX-G4B7H-0LNH3 Ow!
WKMBA-E24VX-3E003 GORDO
J86ZT-T8XVW-Q5706 Blah! Awful stuff.
95NY2-603W3-G3ZV7 BLIND MOUSE1
Q4T8R-K4I4J-JK5QH Is that you, Gordo?
RDAGA-J587W-IX0VM GORDO
R6VAK-76L44-XV5GD How did you know?
WDBX8-PGMAT-M2053 SHREK
5RWB9-0BNWV-8VBJW Enough! (he grabs the 3 mice) What are
DN64Q-R2L8X-YPT88 you doing in my house? (He gets bumped
G4YHR-Z7XHY-RBG4T from behind and he drops the mice.)
NVTTP-ZE6WB-IVLM5 Hey! (he turns and sees the Seven Dwarves
LGQFP-TQVW2-RMMML with Snow White on the table.) Oh, no,
EF43G-9CFCJ-ZAMZM no, no. Dead broad off the table.
3B4IV-M4R67-6A7JX DWARF
2GMFF-B4E8N-5RI55 Where are we supposed to put her? The
8F4DF-M0Y8E-Z0PLY bed's taken.
ZBI7Y-ZZT2N-4G32Z SHREK
A0IAY-PNYLD-ILRL3 Huh?
772ID-RYP4N-WJRDF Shrek marches over to the bedroom and throws back the curtain.
RR97W-Z9FXF-G6Q4M The Big Bad Wolf is sitting in the bed. The wolf just looks at
PWQNG-QXJCI-94PY8 him.
84BLV-5FMCE-P89E3 BIG BAD WOLF
XZI8K-PLT67-NGNJ3 What?
VMYM4-TC2HN-JTEYB TIME LAPSE
PYJCN-TK6JI-FEMQZ Shrek now has the Big Bad Wolf by the collar and is dragging
6MG07-7HXAB-Y2M6R him to the front door.
6HYC6-RYMWA-MELFV SHREK
JGCF9-IYZNA-JRGCJ I live in a swamp. I put up signs. I'm
EPTV8-ZCBZX-5V7F6 a terrifying ogre! What do I have to
PITCQ-2JHYK-MDMLG do get a little privacy? (He opens the
W2995-2A9Z5-RBN8P front door to throw the Wolf out and
YG7QM-NECWK-GTJB4 he sees that all the collected Fairy
HNYJL-PJM6M-C6B92 Tale Creatures are on his land.) Oh,
IG3XQ-N32DT-YH54Q no. No! No!
JG92C-ZQXEZ-FKT6B The 3 bears sit around the fire, the pied piper is playing his
79MB0-TE6EZ-WIGXP pipe and the rats are all running to him, some elves are directing
NT08F-2TA8Q-IGN4C flight traffic so that the fairies and witches can land...etc.
G7TP6-5T99X-HTHTB SHREK
22X4M-M8003-B4I95 What are you doing in my swamp? (this
JYW89-FXZAW-M4LKX echoes and everyone falls silent.)
XVTGY-Q4CAA-AMVC6 Gasps are heard all around. The 3 good fairies hide inside a
H6QKK-EVVW3-VJMRQ tent.
8ZR6T-TBZT0-D9A5X SHREK
34WWR-9H3PB-6X40J All right, get out of here. All of you,
5N4M4-96PF3-CNIVZ move it! Come on! Let's go! Hapaya!
MA8E0-Y7ED5-H9AAC Hapaya! Hey! Quickly. Come on! (more
CB9YA-67KXX-BXN3H dwarves run inside the house) No, no!
30T05-02IJH-XFDND No, no. Not there. Not there. (they
7QTEL-0B9G3-WDY6N shut the door on him) Oh! (turns to
ZMAZ9-CN0ZG-PDZFM look at Donkey)
AZNV7-NL5F0-FGGEL DONKEY
60VKR-LGA9K-X0J9Y Hey, don't look at me. I didn't invite
6WY4P-6GN3F-HGXHH them.
DV858-I66NB-XLHLV PINOCCHIO
7CZL8-AX7MB-8NL25 Oh, gosh, no one invited us.
NYGZ4-N85DH-CEHPM SHREK
TDBCC-ELIA0-7GTTK What?
3EILL-GB0W4-0974M PINOCCHIO
LYN2A-VXYKZ-QR4CR We were forced to come here.
HF625-XDDBG-3Q08V SHREK
08Q23-CZVV4-BM7BP (flabbergasted) By who?
9E9MC-ZA6JR-HQ006 LITTLE PIG
LH55M-63DM7-VHNE4 Lord Farquaad. He huffed and he puffed
86ACD-HL5B2-23GJA and he...signed an eviction notice.
YRB0P-BQKEQ-R76BB SHREK
79WLN-T6KJT-TP4EV (heavy sigh) All right. Who knows where
BFV9N-7H8K4-PIIXF this Farquaad guy is?
J6VJH-I4HXQ-R7Y28 Everyone looks around at each other but no one answers.
0QJCT-DNNMI-6NVJ4 DONKEY
DFJVF-5KRT8-63YDP Oh, I do. I know where he is.
Q7JCT-KH4T3-KA0JR SHREK
ELYWR-X4K9I-ZM2QA Does anyone else know where to find
HDG4T-XAGCZ-VR8D3 him? Anyone at all?
RM7CA-F96MQ-V0NMQ DONKEY
6BFWR-7PH90-4BWW3 Me! Me!
ZRWWJ-FK7TB-Y9J7K SHREK
A96N9-AYDR2-3KT5G Anyone?
QQL7J-TAI9E-GEX9F DONKEY
ZI2I0-WZBVP-2CAWL Oh! Oh, pick me! Oh, I know! I know!
IPY6E-HCD8P-BYILC Me, me!
P6MKI-5BPDY-2VN6V SHREK
IFGDZ-0J3JA-974VW (sigh) Okay, fine. Attention, all fairy
CHKMR-CFA6L-YRAMZ tale things. Do not get comfortable.
94N58-E82C9-YF0K7 Your welcome is officially worn out.
A9RA2-8GYYM-QWH5C In fact, I'm gonna see this guy Farquaad
NXJ52-CWFCC-3C590 right now and get you all off my land
NEJL9-LQZFC-TH2KA and back where you came from! (Pause.
2ACPE-MNA0G-T0PCK Then the crowd goes wild.) Oh! (to Donkey)
6K8XB-ZNR49-XQD3K You! You're comin' with me.
Z6YRF-GTIW9-ECTK2 DONKEY
ANIMC-3DCZ6-KI4EC All right, that's what I like to hear,
HCETY-39H42-GHWV6 man. Shrek and Donkey, two stalwart
C8AEM-NFHVI-K5YRM friends, off on a whirlwind big-city
9LNW5-5M65J-B29QZ adventure. I love it!
K0GTX-Q66DB-00DN6 DONKEY
BLLTI-FDX2L-02FTY (singing) On the road again. Sing it
52F9V-XL6HM-T6865 with me, Shrek. I can't wait to get
YWHAL-AWKXH-VPWAC on the road again.
QL6YI-CQB3K-4JX2I SHREK
LKHLJ-X0KP8-L3WG0 What did I say about singing?
HTVNP-8PWFA-DZL63 DONKEY
B809V-8CHKP-AMLYG Can I whistle?
JL73D-ABCGK-0GHMY SHREK
LWY3C-QTJPM-MCL3I No.
J7LQY-JNIWV-RQ088 DONKEY
M5ITN-JF0P9-2QIJR Can I hum it?
IZ2RZ-VE0P3-NLC6L SHREK
LCQ7P-NMA0H-42LWP All right, hum it.
G69EB-557FY-WJMIA Donkey begins to hum 'On the Road Again'.
00CAX-9GZT8-H20QK DULOC - KITCHEN
ZF5F8-N2I5Y-ZHGHX A masked man is torturing the Gingerbread Man. He's continually
ZRBKM-D0PAR-LBNDH dunking him in a glass of milk. Lord Farquaad walks in.
ZGLKR-6NX5C-Z2DTL FARQUAAD
6NBF8-6FZ4Q-DIBZ7 That's enough. He's ready to talk.
054MQ-QNLL9-5JVVW The Gingerbread Man is pulled out of the milk and slammed down
IMIM3-Q0GZX-XLXIT onto a cookie sheet. Farquaad laughs as he walks over to the
9CWJH-AZ3TD-F3HBL table. However when he reaches the table we see that it goes
WTKAJ-G0LWX-TZFW4 up to his eyes. He clears his throat and the table is lowered.
G7LIF-WFIVJ-FVA2N FARQUAAD
0PAI5-9JX7B-H35AT (he picks up the Gingerbread Man's legs
GNM90-3TI7G-7ZVA4 and plays with them) Run, run, run,
543VG-F6AXE-HAMVC as fast as you can. You can't catch
E94FG-Q8XFP-46V95 me. I'm the gingerbread man.
8BRG8-96HQ0-FFYGZ GINGERBREAD MAN
Q07J6-FCAI4-XFNAD You are a monster.
JHGMW-BCKD7-37P68 FARQUAAD
3HB72-MDRG8-RMIID I'm not the monster here. You are. You
FI9HH-Q8EMT-WHTCV and the rest of that fairy tale trash,
NJE0L-TFPKD-FJBFH poisoning my perfect world. Now, tell
QWAH2-FZ65J-9B76Z me! Where are the others?
RDBAE-H57MM-FI23A GINGERBREAD MAN
6J6M6-BJ0Y9-8HPLF Eat me! (He spits milk into Farquaad's
HY5P8-4KR44-4EA5N eye.)
Q5RXQ-PHKBT-L6FLT FARQUAAD
AII4J-6Z3HQ-X2T60 I've tried to be fair to you creatures.
2XKWT-3RKM0-CPR2C Now my patience has reached its end!
T48X7-A9X8C-DGXI8 Tell me or I'll...(he makes as if to
K2X7N-MTCNB-HXC80 pull off the Gingerbread Man's buttons)
LP6NQ-4QV4P-YH7RA GINGERBREAD MAN
ATFXM-6QFYZ-AP34P No, no, not the buttons. Not my gumdrop
HECZM-KJLLW-WIZ9M buttons.
E3CF0-AAHNZ-8V3B7 FARQUAAD
2D34M-P8N6L-LG5B8 All right then. Who's hiding them?
W0NJC-KYD6M-PQDM9 GINGERBREAD MAN
8RQ3J-QBG6Y-A5JW0 Okay, I'll tell you. Do you know the
HTP23-8CP0Q-R4P53 muffin man?
BHIA4-XKTXI-HX80A FARQUAAD
Z2G0M-FLJ4N-JK9FC The muffin man?
CHYV3-5TPA7-R3C0R GINGERBREAD MAN
LVD8T-0X9PV-R6VXE The muffin man.
9PZ5G-VHQGC-3NJKR FARQUAAD
FZYA7-QNWID-4MTF2 Yes, I know the muffin man, who lives
AFRPP-0KNZL-PTAEY on Drury Lane?
Q360P-68J4E-97N9G GINGERBREAD MAN
K5VZ3-W5JRP-H9TMK Well, she's married to the muffin man.
25Q9Z-D0LDR-PBZI2 FARQUAAD
0JMVW-RTA8F-XEDLM The muffin man?
9B38R-QBE7H-5999H GINGERBREAD MAN
GZG4M-THN5D-XIVHH The muffin man!
FIH6E-WXHAI-YR9BL FARQUAAD
63LY2-PM4YG-FLQEJ She's married to the muffin man.
AK2CL-YPTZJ-VW7BP The door opens and the Head Guard walks in.
ZPPPX-ECPDM-YVX4F HEAD GUARD
ICCL9-D4E6F-V39KB My lord! We found it.
VG6DA-IQJXH-6JT58 FARQUAAD
0JNKH-V3WHG-N8C7T Then what are you waiting for? Bring
BDVCW-6HR7Y-ARAIN it in.
0N4BJ-BC09L-95E7Q More guards enter carrying something that is covered by a sheet.
6HKPY-HKEJ8-AY2CF They hang up whatever it is and remove the sheet. It is the Magic
7NIGQ-QVD8Q-JXXWX Mirror.
NAGQH-KHXA9-50MGJ GINGERBREAD MAN
HKKTF-NZ9IY-ZIFQZ (in awe) Ohhhh...
KFE9X-P5AK6-EIG99 FARQUAAD
NN2YQ-GDZ7D-P34HT Magic mirror...
RDY95-PYB8L-0A2ZN GINGERBREAD MAN
NJQ9D-J25Y6-LNZPX Don't tell him anything! (Farquaad picks
X8ZLN-TDZX0-EBHBX him up and dumps him into a trash can
0I387-86DYH-I5FQX with a lid.) No!
GBICQ-AR3I5-XVZBT FARQUAAD
EH7GM-LGXZH-9REWN Evening. Mirror, mirror on the wall.
7LCJ8-F0APP-NGFKI Is this not the most perfect kingdom
W3QD0-RJLIW-59VTH of them all?
2745P-6KTQ2-CMHQH MIRROR
8VYY8-QXRBZ-53LGK Well, technically you're not a king.
ZBLJQ-H3QLK-MZH57 FARQUAAD
TICNJ-0LTKT-EE7WC Uh, Thelonius. (Thelonius holds up a
VTHEW-TJKVD-LV9TD hand mirror and smashes it with his
YEG28-4XFLZ-ZGHMZ fist.) You were saying?
IIYX9-2XPGJ-VDBEH MIRROR
XMDMD-3R689-HRLVD What I mean is you're not a king yet.
8YL56-CIC6Q-JF495 But you can become one. All you have
T23EW-ZJ6B2-L7TRL to do is marry a princess.
FYT4G-QFPVA-XHBBV FARQUAAD
INPXN-A5Z5G-7MEW8 Go on.
QP52X-L0I9G-YVQK6 MIRROR
INWLR-TA6QB-MFAB8 (chuckles nervously) So, just sit back
3NM2P-ZGM2I-BQHB0 and relax, my lord, because it's time
8JMQK-DLBNK-4X0LB for you to meet today's eligible bachelorettes.
PCJRB-8VG0A-5DPP5 And here they are! Bachelorette number
22EZY-0Z99X-KZZMZ one is a mentally abused shut-in from
NC6PE-6ENN0-RF89P a kingdom far, far away. She likes sushi
6CPY9-7YM6T-Y9908 and hot tubbing anytime. Her hobbies
AIG5V-KV7GR-5ZVW4 include cooking and cleaning for her
2RM9P-ZJHNZ-7YE6M two evil sisters. Please welcome Cinderella.
M6AP4-8JNCH-V9XGN (shows picture of Cinderella) Bachelorette
CD0X7-CE6V9-I3ZV0 number two is a cape-wearing girl from
E65P9-89GBJ-VF3V8 the land of fancy. Although she lives
ZX7T3-KFR7F-LRGBM with seven other men, she's not easy.
RRVDP-NPR8N-FCK5Z Just kiss her dead, frozen lips and
C64X6-NTTI4-KG5DA find out what a live wire she is. Come
TAZRW-FBQR8-95MMH on. Give it up for Snow White! (shows
4P5VM-R3HC2-VPLA5 picture of Snow White) And last, but
H22MP-M5W6Z-MJHZH certainly not last, bachelorette number
A9I4B-QMIPE-PJX5P three is a fiery redhead from a dragon-guarded
2XA2M-789Y6-ZWCLH castle surrounded by hot boiling lava!
AE2EC-3H2M3-MIG32 But don't let that cool you off. She's
TWRBY-04D7I-Y0NCI a loaded pistol who likes pina colads
4MY5B-VI7VW-265NF and getting caught in the rain. Yours
9ZQIH-X598M-CEIR4 for the rescuing, Princess Fiona! (Shows
ZDYPL-WMAYB-7XDM6 picture of Princess Fiona) So will it
VLA7V-73HV4-ACGBK be bachelorette number one, bachelorette
8VADC-Q8M7L-K3M9N number two or bachelorette number three?
4DVGE-6YHH3-IVYGF GUARDS
KGYT6-A0IEE-WJYJQ Two! Two! Three! Three! Two! Two! Three!
92MMP-8CBZI-JYGWP FARQUAAD
4BZX4-T3C80-39KC8 Three? One? Three?
J93D9-ZCBWX-M3GC9 THELONIUS
7CM27-86RCJ-PAG4E Three! (holds up 2 fingers) Pick number
X2DFW-KVIQB-HHQY2 three, my lord!
P6QRD-RVAG0-PAB3P FARQUAAD
8AQQA-JMJ6V-PI4HH Okay, okay, uh, number three!
Y4END-20N2I-AQVBR MIRROR
P07W5-BVXZJ-R0LAG Lord Farquaad, you've chosen Princess
4NKTH-R4NH0-WADFI Fiona.
Z2ZVG-QZDC9-2MYF3 FARQUAAD
5HLXL-JV0N7-EDBXF Princess Fiona. She's perfect. All I
58TYD-ZRYAI-0FZDZ have to do is just find someone who
IDYIP-RAWYP-Y2QGQ can go...
4C8JA-X544R-EYIPF MIRROR
FJH8T-F6M7Z-JF75M But I probably should mention the little
PMQ0K-VW00V-DBQA5 thing that happens at night.
RXBJH-39X9I-5V5C5 FARQUAAD
AEAAE-AGLBK-J9QLR I'll do it.
QWGVH-LKATP-8QDHI MIRROR
5PBZ2-LK56T-8066H Yes, but after sunset...
K2GRV-AKZ4A-T2G0M FARQUAAD
DWYP5-0KX8C-37VG3 Silence! I will make this Princess Fiona
6R25N-7Y344-F52ND my queen, and DuLoc will finally have
XRYJF-CVXI0-NHIE7 the perfect king! Captain, assemble
BZQ2Y-Y8FR9-9N0FH your finest men. We're going to have
9BW9N-ZLPHX-7KHCK a tournament. (smiles evilly)
9GNNF-XGXF2-4009D DuLoc Parking Lot - Lancelot Section
E5BYM-5FW7B-RDCFY Shrek and Donkey come out of the field that is right by the parking
MTBK2-W5RVG-RI5ZB lot. The castle itself is about 40 stories high.
VKZW7-GAZB4-PDXC3 DONKEY
L6RN8-XVGTP-B0GXH But that's it. That's it right there.
GT00F-ZI3K5-AWBVI That's DuLoc. I told ya I'd find it.
JT682-QNHBM-MCRRN SHREK
XIJGN-0YW7W-3P3RN So, that must be Lord Farquaad's castle.
CCCXF-58XT2-NHRAC DONKEY
2JM2P-Q82Y3-E7JQY Uh-huh. That's the place.
4CEN5-RDHNN-WCYLL SHREK
W2VM4-WWTDQ-J48GI Do you think maybe he's compensating
5WE8T-KLA42-MB86X for something? (He laughs, but then
A0DAH-69IWK-0AG7K groans as Donkey doesn't get the joke.
XKMWC-C7C50-0ZQRD He continues walking through the parking
DTX2E-74LNR-Q399K lot.)
9P4NP-F4HEK-NA6EP DONKEY
64CEN-WK8PK-8J5XC Hey, wait. Wait up, Shrek.
4NXKA-DKZN7-5HC39 MAN
W3I45-L2NZD-FJD88 Hurry, darling. We're late. Hurry.
JNV2Y-V9HYF-T4DAT SHREK
5ATBV-7HFY6-5KLYW Hey, you! (The attendant, who is wearing
VLQKF-JWCKI-IDP3T a giant head that looks like Lord Farquaad,
8GHLW-N73D2-PN4FY screams and begins running through the
7Q0PE-7GITP-60GDA rows of rope to get to the front gate
WP7E3-078I5-A8R09 to get away from Shrek.) Wait a second.
QFRIQ-2B30B-0LPBJ Look, I'm not gonna eat you. I just
QN00K-KCJIL-R5VBM - - I just - - (He sighs and then begins
4PMZ4-Z26MH-BDB5M walking straight through the rows. The
W800E-WLTPQ-KD04Y attendant runs into a wall and falls
9X5FC-Z9NNT-5LTDX down. Shrek and Donkey look at him then
034RC-56I84-Q535Z continue on into DuLoc.)
4HH68-P5BEC-6YZWG DULOC
YM6KF-WJRM8-8RHFQ They look around but all is quiet.
MP6CQ-I96A4-7P4QG SHREK
26IK9-2RD8H-8QD0X It's quiet. Too quiet. Where is everybody?
QQNNH-RFI56-W50DL DONKEY
J06BB-DYHZ4-2C5IC Hey, look at this!
3IYHZ-QP44D-4ZNLM Donkey runs over and pulls a lever that is attached to a box
VRNEM-AGNVJ-NEMGD marked 'Information'. The music winds up and then the box doors
BHZTM-XNKGB-N778P open up. There are little wooden people inside and they begin
QCWQE-RP682-APZF7 to sing.
D7H2E-ILN0G-LDQ94 WOODEN PEOPLE
WGAJY-EA7TP-PL03T Welcome to DuLoc such a perfect town
BK9EF-9W6CV-78Q5E Here we have some rules
7VPQQ-CC4IB-9Q2DC Let us lay them down
8MQEW-HM7R0-9ZWX7 Don't make waves, stay in line
IF2CY-28W6R-KVP9K And we'll get along fine
RIR7W-49C09-2QZZT DuLoc is perfect place
7753B-YEEAB-77DDG Please keep off of the grass
6DGK6-T9CX5-TV05N Shine your shoes, wipe your... face
M5ZNC-ZC3T7-ETP3P DuLoc is, DuLoc is
IQLLV-2G4LL-IP24G DuLoc is perfect place.
XZNNN-9X5DK-3ABRG Suddenly a camera takes Donkey and Shrek's picture.
QYHNQ-Q3BVC-QCB4B DONKEY
Y58H3-KZZN9-J33F4 Wow! Let's do that again! (makes ready
BYLD4-MIXNI-QB4H8 to run over and pull the lever again)
BL5VN-HZLRY-VGNDA SHREK
B9AQR-0B45A-FRNM4 (grabs Donkey's tail and holds him still)
PYTZ9-NYX4A-PE7KY No. No. No, no, no! No.
A02NV-9ZVKH-VVK9W They hear a trumpet fanfare and head over to the arena.
64RNK-ZD0L8-KFJ5T FARQUAAD
TY3YX-QL0A6-67JCB Brave knights. You are the best and
TJ3HR-4XEI8-354LY brightest in all the land. Today one
CQT3M-2HAYQ-YB66D of you shall prove himself...
Z9DXF-5WMAA-QH4P3 As Shrek and Donkey walk down the tunnel to get into the arena
WBP2Y-08KR9-Q95FZ Donkey is humming the DuLoc theme song.
3G2E8-CM7G7-X6L70 SHREK
IQ980-CYGZK-Z5MAF All right. You're going the right way
MCQW5-VB4X5-3MT8R for a smacked bottom.
58GP3-P6BFP-9T98E DONKEY
C20ZB-X4MQD-8YRTZ Sorry about that.
0776W-9L20L-ARFQ7 FARQUAAD
IAAWB-6R43R-IXEZB That champion shall have the honor -
HB5GN-XB557-LQRM6 - no, no - - the privilege to go forth
GDL6Q-AWN7P-3LZIT and rescue the lovely Princess Fiona
FHQNX-DT97I-NJGB3 from the fiery keep of the dragon. If
0RJCR-0PCEL-VVNWG for any reason the winner is unsuccessful,
8EJ4B-4TT2T-L86HQ the first runner-up will take his place
0WMRK-HMQT2-A389Q and so on and so forth. Some of you
HYZPQ-B84GI-5F32K may die, but it's a sacrifice I am willing
GR95N-5BNLG-HIMZX to make. (cheers) Let the tournament
A55Q4-4MZ7P-22F0C begin! (He notices Shrek) Oh! What is
P9BCF-2QNXY-77WHZ that? It's hideous!
MLEJ3-NTGR9-W5J2T SHREK
XMB2G-ZHT8Q-3W8K3 (turns to look at Donkey and then back
6AFBI-6N05R-ZF6CD at Farquaad) Ah, that's not very nice.
0574A-XY95G-JFZMP It's just a donkey.
Q7VQE-N4BGR-PMNA8 FARQUAAD
RTPM8-TC0IG-6VZ2T Indeed. Knights, new plan! The one who