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Gurdwara Lecture 

Date: July 15, 1984


Location: Espanola, NM

После свадьбы.

Сегодня мы сидели перед Гуру и наблюдали церемонию бракосочетания. Вообще, сказать


вам по правде, вы все должны осознать, что такое брак. Брак – это нелегко. Брак – это жизнь.
Брак – это не церемония, брак – это Бог. Западный мир вообще не понимает суть брака. Её
понимали на востоке, но и там она тоже сейчас забыта. Так что, в настоящее время институт
брака находится в полном упадке. Люди не знают, что с ним делать, люди не знают, что
делать без него. Итак, что мы узнали из СМИ – брак и развод, развод и брак, брак – то, сё,
это просто непрерывный процесс. Но если мы на самом деле поймём, что такое брак,
возможно, мы сможем добиться большего.

Брак - это институт готовности, готовности, а не желания. Брак - это институт готовности, в
котором две индивидуальности хотят объединиться. Это объединение двух эго, чтобы
создать новую нейтральную личность. В чем его преимущество и в чем его недостаток?
Когда происходит это объединение, божественная сила в душе начинает функционировать,
без учёта индивидуальности каждой личности, и если они будут только орать и кричать друг
на друга, и благость никогда не войдет в их дом. Это подтверждённый факт. Брак приносит
счастье, это объединение двух душ, и когда эти две души объединяются, никто больше не
является индивидуальностью, больше нет разделения на «он и она», вот и все. Нет
проигравших, нет выигравших, нет банковского счета. Не существует «так сказал мой муж».
Не существует «я спрошу у жены». Если нет уверенности в том, что муж может говорить от
имени жены, а жена может говорить от имени мужа, значит, брак ещё не был заключён. Если
это обязательство, которое муж не может совершить от имени жены, а жена, не может
совершать от имени мужа, они ещё не знают, что такое обязательство.

Now you make an alloy you took two elements and put them together you make alloy, the alloy
cannot be separated. You can boil it, you can form the alloy into a liquid form you can totally burn it,
but after once it becomes alloy it will totally keep its own quality, own quantity, own weight and own
molecules, own electron, proton and neutron and own combination. Whatever made brass, doesn't
matter brass has its own faculty, own quality and own weight and own property and that is what love
is, that is what marriage is, that is what life is, that is what good luck is. There are no two opinions
about it. When a male and female merge together, that's why we do it before God, that's why we do
it before Guru. The purpose is not to bring all over here, that's why bring all friends, relative, mother
and father stand up, they give the hand of the daughter and the daughter merges with the man and
they give the pallah and he gives the pallah and we sang the song paleh tandey laagi. You know
what a pallah giving is?

Guru Teg Bhadur Boleya, "Gur Shabadee Ae Mann Horiyae, Bahey Jinna Na Dhi Pakdiya, Sirr
Dijiyae Bhaey Na chodiyae."

Once you give the pallah let your head go, but that offer, that support must not go. And once she
held that, let her head go but let not hold not go. And that is what marriage is. If you are going to
ask marriage is but we'll never be emotional, we'll never fight with each other. I am asking you if you
really look at the marriage there is nothing to fight. If somebody says well your wife is nonsense.

You say, yeah, yeah, that's good, you have found it out fine, thank you. Don't even defend her.
When he is saying your wife is nonsense he is not saying your wife is nonsense he is saying you
are nonsense. What is that marriage where you hear about your wife and you go along with it?
What is that marriage you hear against your husband and you go along with it? Have you not
amalgamated yet? Who is going to do it? This is the only one country where I have seen men have
their own account and the wives have their own account it is very funny to me. Here the marriage is
to control each other, that's not what actually marriage is. Marriage is not to control to each other,
marriage is not to love each other, marriage is not even to live with each other, marriage is to be
each other. Marriage is not to anything else is not marriage.

Marriage is a one divine institution which in two becomes one. To be each other is a promise before
God and Guru that we should be, be each other, that is marriage. I am intelligent, she is a duffer,
she is a intelligent I am a duffer, she is rich, I am poor, if she is a poor I am a rich, all this has no
meaning with marriage. Try to understand marriage, it's a simple unique situation where
amalgamation takes place, new metal comes out of the two. New ego comes out of the two, new
identity comes out of the two and it is forever. It is not it is today and tomorrow it is not. You try to
understand everything can come to an end, even life can come to an end. One thing even God
cannot end the desire to be one in each other. This desire even God cannot take away. To be one
with one is not the desire on which God has the control. This is the one desire before which God
has surrendered, God has obeyed and God has become little. The Almighty God, the all pervading
God has become humble before those who has utmost desire to become one with the one, once
they became one with the one they managed God.

Why there are quarrels between husband and wife? Because they have never tried to become one,
they are still two who are living under one roof, they are still two who are sleeping in one bed, they
are still two who managing a home, they are still two, one is driving the car and one is sitting and
sleeping on the side, but they have not yet become one. Marriage is when two become one. This
institution in which we say we have invested a lot because if we cannot create this institution, now I
am telling you as American, listen to this. If we cannot create an institution in which we can create
oneness of two individual, out of that a product cannot come which can have a caliber and
intelligence, which can save the planet Earth.

A frustrated husband and a frustrated wife can only produce a frustrated child. We create nine
million frustrated children every year out of that three millions leave their parents and run away.
Three millions are not successful and three million are hassling. This country produces nine million
children, which understand to achieve but cannot be happy. Nine million people added to a
civilization in every ten years, nine million frustrated people. Nine million frustrated people will bring
twenty-seven million divorces, it's a mathematical thing. Because each frustration must try thrice, (?)
nine multiply into three is twenty-seven. Where we are going to go? We want to be one with God,
we want to experience God, we want to see America happy, we want every American to be happy,
we want a home, we want security, we don't want law and order problem. We want, want, want...
there is a long list. The list is taller than Washington, monument, but we never do anything to
achieve it. To achieve a goodness of God is not to have frustrated people. Now we do a patch up
work, we counsel each other. Wait a minute well you know if this is because of this, that is because
of this, you get out of this way, to get out...we get out, get out, get out, where? Ultimately somebody
said there is no place to go. There is one place to go in which you both have gone today and that is
you both have to amalgamate with each other, I can bet on that, one to ten. If you amalgamate
honestly good luck will come around you as you have gone around four times the Siri Guru Granth.
Happiness will come, goodness will come, grace will come, everything will come, because God
never likes frustration. This institution of amalgamation of oneness that which Guru Nanak talked
about is called Ek ong kaar you are the creation of the one therefore, you are one.

I am sometime surprised to say, I asked one girl yesterday, I said, "Where is your husband?"

She said, "He will speak for himself."

That's it I got the message. There was nothing more to know. There was absolutely nothing more to
know. A fe, a fe who cannot emerge as a male, now listen to this and this is thousands of year old
theory it always works. A fe who does not merge into a male cannot be a female. A wow, wow
means greatness, which cannot contain the man, cannot be a woman. You try any other method
you want, western, eastern, northern, southern, central, Chicago theory, use anything there is only
one and only one thing, that is the amalgamation forever. Good and bad, great and small all it is in
one pot now. And in this you will find peace and tranquility. When you, listen to this... where there is
a peace and tranquility wealth shall come. And where wealth will come Narayan will come because
wealth the, Laksmi is the wife of the Narayan the God they are married too. They cannot be
separated. Wherever there will be poverty there will be clumsiness and there will be bitterness and
there will be ugliness. Wherever there will be richness you will find there is Divinity, there is a God.
Not richness you think this dollars, there is a lot more which makes the richness. And one act to
perform is that man and a woman merge as one. If from this minute they merge as one, they
amalgamate now this is what it is, they shall succeed. Success is not anywhere else. By
manipulation nobody has succeeded, because human manipulation is ineffective over divine
psyche, that's why. I can give you reasons. By lying you can escape the situation but you will never
be respected. By corruption you can fulfill your emotional and commotional body, but you will never
be trusted.

There are certain laws of life and those laws are responsible that the Earth rotates and life
continues. So that is also God, you can insult and bitch a person for once, twice, three times, if you
get a four time chance that person must be mentally insane. Wrong can be done once, right can be
done many times, because every right done God rewards you ten times. Every wrong done you
suffer ten times. You understand this law? Every good done God reward you ten times, it is bound,
this is the psyche, this it the magnetic field this the total flow of life. One right done you shall be
rewarded ten times, one wrong done you will be punished ten times, by yourself. Goodness is from
God, wrong is from you. But once you are amalgamated when you are married you are
amalgamated. Marriage is not for sex purposes, woh tho outlet hai, that's an outlet. Your glands
secrete and you become horny and you have to perform something God wanted to do this and very
powerful has done it, because He wanted children. He wants now ten billion humans on this little
planet, I don't know why He wants to be in trouble, but that's what He wants.

(Student's laughter)

It is God's trouble let Him solve His trouble. But that's what I am trying to explain to you that
marriage is nothing but a merger of two identities into total one.

I have seen a couple the man was speaking, he was explaining something to me and suddenly
stopped and his wife started talking, exactly same note, same tone, same thing, now it surprised
me, this guy is a Ph.D., he is a doctor, he is a professors he is specialist, this is just a bread cooking
woman and her qualification was that after third grade she never went to a school that was her
qualification. When she completed few sentences went on and on and after a while she suddenly
stopped and he picked up. When we finished the conversation I asked him, I said, "What you both
do?"

He said, "She helps me, sometime I get tired, my ideas go weird and she picks up and puts it
together."

I said, "How it happens?"

"We have a wireless, she knows it I know it."

Yeh unique hai, this is uniqueness, this is a uniqueness that man and if woman get into one energy
one frequency, one psyche and creates one magnetic field. People in the west I have seen don't get
married for these purposes, first of all there are private marriages, which never come before the
church. After those twenty-five, thirty, forty, sixty, hundred or ten, one, two whatever those
marriages is when find somewhere to get married. And after that marriage in life there is a divorced
marriage two, three times and this continuous thing goes on.
Side B

We want to create a society, a tomorrow, a strength, an education, where come what may. We
people can fight unhappiness. What is the purpose of life, I always ask, people give me different
answers. To succeed and win over unhappiness is the purpose of life. Purpose of life is not to be
rich and have a bigger car and five-bedroom house with a swimming pool on the side which you
never go and swim. I know. Purpose of life is just to succeed, purpose of life is to win and forever,
fateh. Wahe Guru Ji Ki Fateh, bring victory on us that people recognize God that is what it
means,Wahe Guru Ji Ki Fateh. Bring victory in life, bring happiness in life, people talk to me I am
spiritual. I joke at them, what spiritual? Yesterday there was problem, yesterday was this, yesterday
was that, what is this fateh, victory. Wahe Guru Ji Ki Fateh, bring put yourself total into it that victory
of God is seen and felt by those who are distant from God when they will not have distance from
God they will become one with God, they shall be grateful to you and they shall be grateful to you
because you brought them a hope, a possibility of light that they could see the victory, they could
see the fateh.

Wahe Guru Ji Ka Khalsa, the pure one, the pure one can bring victory of God, the fear of God can
bring victory of God.

Wahe Guru Ji Ka Khalsa, Wahe Guru Ji Ki Fateh, this is what it means. Guru Arjan sat on hot


plate,Guru Arjan?

Student: (....)

YB: And you can't wear a chunee. We are the followers of the Guru look at the followers of theGuru.
A chunee through which you can see through cannot be worn. Sometime I wonder
why GuruArjan accepted to sit on a hot plate in the month of June?

(Student's laughter)

So that when people come to New Mexico they should not feel that they have the freedom to be
nude. There is a lot to learn and there is lot to understand, but one thing I want to tell you those who
will just identify their identity, those who will just identify their identity into oneness of each other,
oneness?

Student: Of each other.

YB: God shall serve them. God shall not only bless them, that is too little a thing asking for. God
becomes the servant of those who amalgamate their egos and bring one identity of the union of the
pure. They are such that God grants them the soul for which their generations live forever. And that
is how the saints are born on the Earth. Saints are born, no, no, no you can have children, children
can be born to you, children can be born to you, you can have as many children as you can have
the whole football team of your own, I have no problem with that, but saint cannot be born to you. A
master cannot be born to you, a divine human cannot be born to you if the amalgamation is not one,
because without that amalgamation of one, one cannot dwell. In duality one cannot dwell, you can
have lot of sex, you can have lot of sex, but you can never have sixth sense, which can unite you
beyond time and space. I can go on and on explaining to you but when I look at the whole thing loss
is much more than gain. The gain is much more than the loss if the amalgamation is real. And
amalgamation must succeed now and forever. That is the purpose of the institution of getting
married or even just living or to be and that purpose is what is called grihasthashram,
grihasthashram is very simple.

"Grihast ashram, mahan ashram devi daev poojtham."


This household life is so great that the angels and divine worship it. They worship
it, Guru Nanakstood for it, people asked him why?

He said, "That's the only way and this is the greatest way."

Here you ask a wife, "What happened to your husband?"

"He went his way? He had a doubt with you."

I don't have a doubt with me. Having doubt and you are a wife and you couldn't take way his doubt
and you call yourself wife? You cannot take away the duality of your husband how can you take
away the duality of your son? How can you keep the family into oneness of the unity of God?
Woman has to understand her role. Her role is not to worship God, her role is to be the very self of
God. Her oneness can effect and open every heart.

What a teacher can teach you? What a teacher can teach you is be with God. But how to be with
God this is the job of every household mother, a wife, a Shakti to which the mantras are chanted.

Aad shakti, aad shakti, aad shakti, namo, namo.

Sarab shakti, sarab shakti, sarab shakti, namo, namo.

Pritam bagvati, pritam bagvati, pritam bagvati, namo, namo.

Kundalini, math shakti, math shakti, namo, namo.

This is the praise of the woman. This is what is said and this is what it is. It is that creative force
through which Ek and ong are attached. Ek ong kaar, it is that kaar that kriya, that karta purakh. It is
very unique if you understand the word karta purakh, karta purakh. Karta comes first, lady comes
first, prakirthi come first, what is this karta of the purakha? Creativity, creativity, that's a one place
where Guru Nanak has not only honored the female, honored the Shakti, honored the woman, but it
has added before God. Karta purakh, nirbao nirvair Akal Moorat ajooonee sahibhung Guruprasad.
How you will get it? Jap,

"Aad sach, Jugad sach, Hai bhee sach Nanak hosee bhee sach"

And it is that truth through which woman lived forever. Woman has no choice woman has one
choice that she must bring Wahe Guru Ji Ki Fateh on the Earth. She must succeed, she must win,
she must excel and she must not only bring God but give God to others in experience. That is her
nobility, that is her Divinity and that is her grace. If you don't understand I'll talk to you Monday
evening again. All I am trying is something should fit in the empty head but some heads are so
loaded that it is taking lot of time to empty them. My prayer is my few last years, all the slander, all
the pain all the insult which I have taken has rewarded me multifold. For all the garbage, the
negativity and insult, human insult I am very blessed because a nation is born, a Khalsa woman is
born, a future is born and hoping of that future, hoping of that love today I have married my own
daughter in consciousness to my own son in grace. I am part of this and my prayer is
that Guru must bless us this time with success. We can't afford any more games. We gave people
titles, we gave them positions, we gave them names, we extended their life, we did miracles, but
fate took them away. Now my prayer is it is too much now let people succeed and let Guru work his
miracle. Let us look to these young people that they will become the messengers of God who will
bring God and experience to all.

I have put my fifteen years of life towards that. Don't misunderstand whatever you have heard
positive or negative about me I have not heard.
(?)

If God wants to curse somebody He takes away the goodness of that person and when a master
wants to test somebody he let him have the insult nindya. Now this is a part of life. To allow you to
slander is master's grace. Don't feel bad or negative about it, but just remember after doing all this
slander shut up and keep growing, that is the test. Test is say anything, do anything if you can't help
yourself, but do not let the lotus feet of the Guru go. Keep your rhythm alive because once the heart
beat stops body is dead. When the touch of the teacher and the grace of blessing of the Guru is
gone destiny is lost, fate overtakes. Therefore, all you have come here and come here for a
purpose to learn, learn so well that you can proudly experience.

"Wahe Guru Ji Ka Khalsa, Wahe Guru Ji Ki Fateh"

Song...

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