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Mind, Volume IV
Mastering the Moneyed
Mind, Volume IV
The Gyroscope—A Personal
“Money Wellness” Strategy
10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
this area draw readers into a 15-point Personal Rules of Engagement check-
list, and exercises in a personal mission statement, with techniques for suc-
cess benchmarking, affirmations, and engagement in a personal Return on
Investment (ROI) calculator. As the fourth volume in the series, Volume IV
offers readers a tangible gift, an appendix covering the Top Five Things You
Should Do Next—a concise, hard-hitting handful of advice that will get any-
one on the road toward achieving their goal of balance and fulfillment—a
naturally, solid, gyroscope.
Keywords
psychology; finance; neuroeconomics; behavioral finance; money;
self-assessment; self-help; Wall Street; gyroscope; deception-avoidance
techniques; physical health; guilt-management; motivation; success
benchmarking; money wellness; expectations management
Table of Contents
Foreword................................................................................................ix
Introduction to the Gyroscope................................................................xiii
Appendices..........................................................................................125
References and Further Reading............................................................133
Epilogue..............................................................................................137
About the Author.................................................................................141
Index..................................................................................................145
Foreword
“Mastering the Moneyed Mind” is not an abstract thesis, but a practical,
easy-to-follow methodology. For the author, Dr. Christopher Bayer, when
it comes to mapping the many complex facets of our relationship with
money, visualization for his readers (and for his clients) is essential. To fa-
cilitate such visualization, Dr. Bayer created a very accessible, proprietary
construct he calls “The Wall Street Psychologist’s Gyroscope™,” as a way
for readers (and his clients) to imagine their work and personal lives as
components of an ecosystem.
The gyroscope is a 360-degree self-creation/motivation model within
which an individual selects from a wide range of proven best practices
designed to provide incremental improvements in psychological and
physical health. This compartmentalization enables the individual to
better cope with the deception, betrayal, deep disappointment, severe
financial loss, and the fear, loneliness, vulnerability and panic that affect
them, driven by money and related obsessions. How one copes with
adversity is certainly within one’s grasp, according to Dr. Bayer, and this
volume is within the reach of anyone who is interested in learning the
techniques.
Metaphorically speaking, the gyroscope helps tie everything together
for the reader. As a physical tool, it is an apparatus with a central spin-
ning wheel and a device called a gimbal, which allows the wheel’s axle to
maintain its orientation and equilibrium regardless of what is happen-
ing around it. If we consider the metaphor in light of the shape, form,
and purpose of the tool, it is easy to imagine how we all have an inter-
nal gyroscope that can be calibrated to bring balance in our lives. Ac-
cording to Dr. Bayer, visualization of our internal gyroscope reminds us
of the importance of (a) holding steady in times of chaos and flux; and
(b) maintaining stability, surviving even when negotiating the daily cycles
of the market. Essentially, if one is in touch with his inner and outer gim-
bals (i.e., his value system, work ethic, sense of well-being, duty, skill sets,
x FOREWORD
Even with the wealth of joy I anticipate this volume will bring to
readers, it is important to note here that, as with any other book, the
advice offered does not constitute a substitute for professional psychologi-
cal treatment, therapy, or other types of intervention. If expert advice or
counseling is needed, the services of a competent professional should be
sought. The self-help contents are Dr. Bayer’s opinions, based on his ex-
perience, and should not be considered as a form of therapy, advice, direc-
tion and/or diagnosis or treatment of any kind: medical, spiritual, mental,
or other. His opinions, though based on his experience as a psychologist,
are designed to serve as one tiny component of any personal improvement
process that includes guidance and directions from a medical practitioner.
Additionally, The Wall Street Psychologist’s Gyroscope is not in-
tended as a scholarly treatise on any or all of the myriad topics covered,
and it should not be used as an academic or clinical reference. Though it
is composed of facts, research findings, and other types of data, all were
cherry-picked by Dr. Bayer to underscore his opinions, observations, and
clinical experience.
The road to true recovery through treatment is long and hard. Some-
times, full recovery may not be possible. Some of my relationships with
clients span years, even decades. I will not delude you by telling you that
this is a road that never ends for everyone. And yet, the journey need not
xiv INTRODUCTION TO THE GYROSCOPE
be so arduous all the time. This is a picture from the link Charlene sent.
If this one isn’t good enough, we will send other pictures later after the
gyroscope we purchased arrives.
1
H. Werner. 1951. Comparative psychology of mental development (New York, NY: In-
ternational Universities Press, Inc.).
INTRODUCTION TO THE GYROSCOPE xvii
1. Seek Money for Money’s Sake and Ye Shall Not Find—“Money will
only come when you are doing the right thing in the right way,” ac-
cording to Randal Kirk.
2. Find Your Perfect Pitch—“Knowing others is intelligence; know-
ing yourself is true wisdom. Mastering others is strength; mastering
yourself is true power,” counsels the Tao Te Ching.
3. BYOB: Be Your Own Boss—“You don’t get rich working for other
people,” says Phil Ruffin.
4. Get Addicted to Ambition—“If we did all the things we are capable
of doing, we would literally astound ourselves,” said Thomas Edison.
5. Wake up early—be early—“The sun has not caught me in bed for
fifty years,” Thomas Jefferson used to say.
6. Don’t Set Goals—Execute or Get Executed—“Vision without ex-
ecution is hallucination” —food for thought from Thomas Edison.
7. Fail to Succeed—“I’ve failed over and over and over again in my
life. That’s why I succeeded,” said Michael Jordan. “If you are going
through hell, keep going,” Winston Churchill instructed.
8. Location Does Matter—“There is no greater success than hometown
success,” opined Buzz Oates.
2
W.J. Randall. 2009. The Richest Man in Town, (New York, NY: Business Plus).
3
C. Darwin. 1859. On the Origin of Species. The attribution of this quote to Darwin
has been disputed; the substance, however, still stands.
INTRODUCTION TO THE GYROSCOPE xxi
Our psyches comprise the sum of so many parts. The guidance pro-
vided in these 12 points is only actionable when the reader is truly percep-
tive, when she or he is willing to work and grow in the process. These 12
perspectives vary in subject and substance, yet all are sincere and based
on a set of common denominators: experience, careful thinking, and
self-reflection. It also helps that they are rooted in honesty, perseverance,
and dedication to excellence. These same virtues are, collectively, a driving
component of my treatment regimens. As you proceed with this volume,
consider that it is designed to help you begin to take small steps down
the path to wellness of the mind and the body. Are you willing? Are you
ready? Continue only if you are.
CHAPTER 1
Expectations Management
Let us start off with expectations. Consider what you want from, or expect
from this volume. Why is expectations management important? Have you
read the other books in this series leading to this one? Exactly what do you
expect? To start off, take a deep breath, and prepare to engage yourself in
the richness of this volume. Expect to use this volume as an important tool
for managing not only your money, but also your life. This volume offers
information from breathing exercises to communication and management
techniques to enrich your experience at home, at work, and in life.
All proposed techniques are designed to empower you to manage rela-
tionships, and essentially, to manage your reputation as you plant yourself
on solid ground for success. The management of all expectations begins
with clear communication, and overall, communicative competence—
the ability to express yourself in a way that is clear, meaningful, and
responsive. Let us begin with some relationship and reputation manage-
ment strategies before delving closely into communication best practices.
Expectation-Management Strategy
Managing expectations can be a heavy psychological burden, whether
it is with clients, colleagues, partners, parents, regulators, investors,
spouses, children—whomever. Developing the coping skills to manage
expectations and related anxieties should be a core component of any
well-thought-through gyroscope.
Most people want it both ways, in the sense that they only want to win
and never want to lose. This is natural, but it is not realistic. The smart in-
dividual deals with this fantasy by proactively discussing risk-management
strategies with clients and managers at the outset—thoroughly and
transparently—and by putting the potential rewards and risks involved in
real, concrete terms. For the purposes of an example, I will discuss manag-
ing client relations, but these concepts may be applied to any situation in
which you are struggling to manage expectations.
3
4 MASTERING THE MONEYED MIND, VOLUME IV
Schedule quarterly reviews with key clients and set up systems whereby
you are in touch with them on a regular basis. It is very important that
you do not succumb to passivity, avoidance, or feelings of victimhood.
If you are not talking to your clients, someone else is (or will be). This is a
critically important concept, integral to your strategy for account and
relationship management.
Some clients will try to make you feel guilty about their own poor deci-
sions. Do not let them. Clarify, discuss, process, and tell it like it is—
gently, yet professionally. Managing expectations should be such an
important element of your gyroscope.
If you develop techniques that train you to effectively level set
with your clients beforehand, you empower yourself when conflict
does arise. You are then able to point to previous conversations and
documented notifications, and you will be on firm ground. If you be-
lieve in your client service, challenge their abuse. Do not let the fear
of losing a client override your good judgment about the transactions
in question.
client and allow him the prerogative of choosing, this can reduce the level
of pressure on you. You must train your clients—bring them up, condi-
tion them, harden them. Good clients are made, not born.
The first step is to define the scope of the concept. A review of the te-
nets of Fiduciary Responsibility can help the individual reconnect with
a fiduciary.
A fiduciary is a person or an entity empowered to manage the assets
of another. Therefore, a fiduciary association encompasses responsibil-
ity, knowledge, honesty, expertise, trust, and exhibition of good faith.
The fiduciary must also accept the obligation to act in the client’s best
interests and to navigate conflicts of interest, especially when the fi-
duciary has the potential to realize material gains as a result of such
conflicts.
Expectations Management 7
A fiduciary must never take his client for granted nor minimize the
client’s concerns. This requires that the fiduciary hone and utilize empa-
thetic skills to understand and soothe clients, within reason. After all, the
client is entrusting his fiduciary with one of his most precious assets: his
money!
As we have seen, financial psychopaths comprise a category apart—
unable to feel empathy or remorse for the damage they visit upon
clients. Although the great majority of my clients do exhibit a moral
compass, over time it may start showing skewed results, often heavily
influenced by those around them and the ultracompetitive environment
of the markets.
For most, there is still time to right the ship. Moreover, there
are veritable blueprints in the forms of your organization’s employee
guidelines, industry regulations, compliance statutes, and the other
types of guidance on fiduciary responsibility that far too many
disregard.
Just as you would seek help for a substance abuse problem be-
yond your control, you need to embrace the concept of rehabilitat-
ing your perspective on and practice of fiduciary responsibility. First
and foremost, the good FP must focus on how to make money for
his clients—this is his moral and legal obligation. Making money
for himself will follow naturally. And the price of your integrity is
far beyond rubies.
In my practice, so many issues can be linked back to my clients’ com-
promise of their professional and emotional integrity. In many instances,
it happens slowly, over many years, as they lose their moral bearings in
order to, as they see it, keep pace with the world around them. While it is
happening, they often undermine their emotional stability until it slips,
careening wildly into the abyss.
This is a very personal journey you need to take, to reexamine the
tenets of fiduciary responsibility, no longer in the vein of “How far can I
go and what can I get away with?” but rather, “What are the boundaries I
need to set in order to regain integrity?”’
The question you need to ask yourself, and no one else, is: “What is my
measure of integrity?” When you answer that question honestly, frankly,
8 MASTERING THE MONEYED MIND, VOLUME IV
then you will know exactly what you need to do. Here is a simple question-
naire to help you reaffirm your commitment to fiduciary responsibility:
The financial professional, or the FP’s research team, can usually ascertain
the key details required for a client to make a qualified investment deci-
sion. The broker must develop best practices for consistently and effec-
tively communicating these details.
Envision Empathetically
standards and apply them to the level of service you provide. There is a
saying in this industry that we saw earlier in this volume “Would You Put
Your Mother in It?” This is an example of the sort of mindset that will fos-
ter not only long-term professional success, but also psychological health
and emotional well-being.
While many investment types are similar, no two clients are ever the
same, and should be profiled accordingly—mapped to an investment
strategy that suits their specific goals, circumstances, and tolerance lev-
els. There should also be effort expended to endow communication with
a personal touch, say, a regular schedule of one-on-one conference calls
that gives a client the information he or she needs regarding his or her
portfolios.
Volunteer Information
In many instances, clients will not ask the right questions; they may
not even know what questions they need to ask. Avoid controlling
or manipulative approaches to investment advisement, and proac-
tively offer the right information. Then, follow up to make sure they
know that how what you have told them specifically affects their
positions.
Clients give a lot of weight to what they hear from brokers on the front
lines. Avoid the temptation to embellish market trends; do not ignore key
issues that may be of relevance to your client (but happen to run contrary
to your self-interests) just to inspire a sale.
The two ways in which you, as an FP, can maintain integrity is by effec-
tively communicating the right information, and then consistently fol-
lowing up with the client to make sure he fully comprehends how that
information affects his positions. Neglecting one or the other aspect of
this process essentially needlessly puts the client at a disadvantage. Not
all clients are going to appreciate or comprehend all of your guidance,
but quality communication and integrity will ultimately generate higher
returns over the long run.
Keep a different kind of client book, noting your client’s passions, in-
terests, life issues, likes/dislikes, preferences, personality style, cogni-
tive style, intellectual capacity, dreams, pet peeves, significant history,
emotional stability, socioeconomic class, and so forth. The services
you provide do not take place in an emotional or historical vacuum.
Bring your life experience to the table and do not be afraid to formu-
late and voice ideas and impressions. Invite your client to reciprocate.
You are not his psychoanalyst, but you are a trusted confidant and
financial advisor.
Not all clients are savvy, bright, sophisticated, and analytic when it
comes to money—that is why they need you. Some are brighter and have
better memories than the average person; some understand trading and
money management better than others. Some clients are very good listen-
ers and abstract thinkers; many are not.
12 MASTERING THE MONEYED MIND, VOLUME IV
(continued)
13
14
Client Type Description Remedy
The “One-Upper” You know the type. No matter what you say, he will go one Compliment him on his amazing success, but do not be overly flat-
better on you. No matter how you perform or what the returns tering. Accept the inevitability that there are just some people you
are on his investment, it will always pale in comparison to this will not be able to impress. Regardless of what this client says, many
client’s previous experiences, and to the experience of his myriad times he may actually be satisfied with your services. Be patient
sophisticated, prosperous friends and acquaintances. with his behavior, which is essentially a social-coping mechanism
for masking inferiority. Remain consistent in your delivery.
“Mr. Perfect” Also known as The Narcissist, Mr. Perfect is anything but. He has Since this client so desperately expects to be recognized as superior,
an overinflated sense of self-importance, as he exaggerates his ac- would it hurt for you to be accommodating? It should not matter
complishments and embellishes his abilities, while diminishing his that this client never actually climbed his mountains. Your role
shortcomings and blatant inadequacies. Depending on whether or as a service provider requires you seek to appease and please,
not this client is actually clinically narcissistic or simply annoyingly though in a cordial and professional manner that is not deceptive,
obnoxious, he may be preoccupied with fantasies of boundless suc- detrimental, or overly fawning.
cess, power, and potency. He is a hot shot; embrace this diagnosis,
do not fight it.
The “Diva” No matter what you do, nothing ever seems to impress this client. You will likely establish some solid, lifelong bonds with your clients,
He or she expects deferential treatment (of course they would), but you did not get into this business to make friends. You are in
yet is rarely willing to show gratitude. This client may be arrogant, this business to make money and grow your clients’ portfolios. It
obnoxious, and imperious. would be nice if everyone appreciated your hard work. However,
unless you have emotional support written into the client-service
agreement, you are literally only entitled to monetary rewards,
while the other side is entitled to feel entitled. Service means
you are there to serve. Accept your subordinate role, but fully
understand that never should it give your client the right to be
abusive or demeaning.
Client Type Description Remedy
“Passive/ You know the drill. The client requests guidance on a particular Try to spend a bit more time in discussion, being inquisitive in
Aggressive” investment, then gleefully shreds your advice. He knew what he order to ascertain his intentions. Think things through when re-
wanted all along, but would rather toy with your time. Although sponding to requests, and invest the time to envision ways of over-
he may express interest in certain ideas, he will likely not take your coming potential objections. Keep your expectations of glory, fame,
advice. and money in check.
The “Family Just as it sounds, this is a client who is in some way related to you Politely, yet clearly establish boundaries by explaining the
Friend” and will seek to exploit that tie to obtain preferential treatment. professional and legal liability you face by treating your clients
This client may also forgo the appearance of professionalism and differently and extending unusual access. Offer examples of cases
revert to just the type of abusive and annoying treatment that where prosecuted brokers and, more importantly in this instance,
encourage some of us to skip family reunions. Remember, certain their clients were severely punished for such actions. If all else fails,
12-step groups swear that 96% of the families in this country are call your mother or his or her mother to straighten him or her out.
dysfunctional, and that the other 4% are lying.
“Bernie Madoff” You know this creep. He seems like he is reputable. He passed Trust your instincts. Make sure you have a fully documented,
the background check. His references work out. Still, there is definitive evidence trail on every aspect of your relationship.
something definitely shady about this character. Bernie was in fact Contact your legal department and go on record regarding your
known as “Shaddy Maddy” in summer camp as a youngster. You concerns. Do not make any unsubstantiated accusations, but take
cannot quite put your finger on it, but something about this client is extra-special care. Extricate yourself from the relationship before
not right. Oh, but he dazzles and impresses, to be sure. the fan starts spinning very fast.
“Harry the There is a difference between appreciating the value of the dollar In all likelihood, this client was previously able to scheme his way
Haggler” and obsessing over it. This client has a limited perspective and is into great savings and is thus incentivized to duplicate this strategy.
constantly complaining about overvaluing. This client is cheap and Remain vigilant and consistent in your behavior, and provide com-
manipulative, and generally feels entitled to special treatment and parative, attributable third-party sources to support your valuations.
attention.
15
(continued)
16
Client Type Description Remedy
The “MacGyver” This client is an endless bundle of energy and ideas, constantly Be willing to apply different strategies, yet also effectively level
coming up with new strategies and techniques he wants you set with the client in order to understand boundaries, rules and
to apply. He has that entrepreneurial spirit, but may get a bit regulations, and expectations.
distracted trying to catch the latest wave.
“Pamela Andersen” Also known as The Bombshell, he or she strolls into your office If you cannot force yourself to think objectively, seek the
one day and simply steals your breath away. Subconsciously, you perspective of a close confidant. Beware to whom you confide your
are enamored with this client and, as time goes by, your obsession infatuation. Avoid placing yourself in a compromising situation,
intensifies, affecting your decision-making processes, usually not to and do not do anything that could be even remotely perceived as
your advantage. an advance, as you run the risk of exposure to sexual-harassment
litigation. If the obsession persists, you likely will need to end this
professional relationship, especially if you want to enter into a
personal liaison with that client.
The “Complete No matter how specific you are, there are some people who will lack If this is a recurring client type, develop informative tools and
Idiot” the sophistication or knowledge base to truly grasp the complexity, documentation that will help bridge the knowledge gap. To
and at times, even the simplicity of what it is that you do. The protect yourself, establish firm processes for establishing evidence
client can be unapproachable, unintelligent, insensitive, vulgar, for transactions, and explain these techniques in order to prevent
tasteless, obnoxious, ignorant, and so forth, and so on. disputes later on.
Expectations Management 17
Client Types
A heck of a group, no doubt, but this is our lot. It is what we must deal
with and manage effectively. It is certainly not boring, and it is the real
deal. To think otherwise is to be naïve. Gyroscope tactics require proper
management of this character pool.
Borrowing a phrase from the New York City Transit Authority, “You
need to know how to say something when you see something.” At vari-
ous points in your career, you will undoubtedly be confronted by the
unethical, perhaps even illegal, actions of others. In some instances, the
malfeasances you uncover or witness may be committed by superiors in
either middle or upper management.
These cases, while they may not represent a moral dilemma, may cer-
tainly pose a substantial professional risk. Still, it is your professional and
moral responsibility to find a reasonable way to report these situations.
By not reporting them, you are accepting the consequences not only for
others, but also for yourself.
As per the terms of the agreement you signed with your employer
when hired, you are more than likely required to report any malfeasance.
This is because of the applicable vicarious-liability statutes, as per which
an employer is responsible for the actions of its employees. In other words,
if it can be established that you looked the other way while a crime was
being committed, your employer could be held liable for your negligent
actions, even if you or the employer are not directly responsible for the
actual crime.
Vicarious liability is challenging to prove, but the situation would still
threaten your job and reputation. Moreover, depending upon the severity
of the consequences, you would likely experience feelings of anxiety, fear,
guilt, remorse, and a host of other emotions. The psychological ramifica-
tions could be far reaching.
If you do witness a crime in the workplace, do not allow yourself to
become embroiled in the aftermath. Keep in mind that whistleblowers
are rarely ever rewarded, and often stigmatized. While reporting a crime
may be the right thing to do, allowing you to avoid debilitating guilt
and remorse, if you lose your job or if you are vilified in the workplace,
you may be essentially trading one set of psychological consequences for
another. That is why I recommend that before you do act, think through
all potential outcomes and refer to the Legal Liability Protection Action
Plan. A simple anonymous report can relieve you of your professional and
psychological burdens. Here are some guidelines:
Expectations Management 19
Write a Letter
as for his merciless excoriation of the SEC. In March 2010, he also pub-
lished a best seller, No One Would Listen: A True Financial Thriller, ghost-
written by David Fisher. Whistleblowing helped advance Markopolo’s
career as a financial investigator, but not every potential whistleblower is
a financial investigator, and not everyone will emerge from the experience
with his prospects improved.
What is perhaps most striking in the context of our exploration of the
consequences of whistleblowing is that Markopolos did not actually bring
down Madoff. Despite nearly 9 years of the SEC being tipped off, Madoff
was miraculously able to further his scheme. It actually took the unrav-
eling of the market, when many unsuspecting Madoff investors began
requesting to pull money out that his scam collapsed.
In another highly publicized case, Lehman Brothers fired Mathew Lee
just weeks after he raised concerns about the securities firm’s accounting
in 2008. According to a Wall Street Journal report:1
Lehman said at the time it let go Mr. Lee, a senior vice president,
as part of a broader downsizing at the firm, according to people fa-
miliar with the matter. Lehman filed for bankruptcy in September
2008, and its assets were sold off to, among others, Barclays PLC.
A Barclays spokesman declined to comment.
Erwin Shustak, Mr. Lee’s lawyer in San Diego, asserts that “it was
easier to just shut him up and let him go.”
1
M. Corkery. March 16, 2010. “Lehman Whistle-Blower’s Fate: Fired.” Wall Street
Journal.
Expectations Management 21
the element of chance affects our everyday life—among his many other
contributions.
Nash Equilibrium is a fundamental component of Nash’s overall Game
Theory premises. Nash Equilibrium is a series of strategies where each player
does not have an incentive to unilaterally alter his or her actions in the game.
Players are deemed in equilibrium if an alteration in strategy by one player
prompts an equal reaction. Basically, no one player has anything to gain by
changing only his or her own strategy unilaterally. Again, in competitive or
adversarial relationships, Nash Equilibrium may not be applicable.
My premise is to apply this theory to the way in which we manage
our positive relationships to enable us to achieve harmony. In a positive
relationship, what is good for one person (the client, the colleague, the
partner, etc.) also has to be good for the self, and hence the relationship as
a whole. This type of arrangement will bind, bond, and maintain stability
in the relationship.
Both parties have to be warm and happy, and on the same mission trajec-
tory. Inequality, asymmetry, hidden agendas, and resentment will only poison
the process. Bottom-line: “It’s got to be good for you, and for me; then it can
be good for us.” The relationship is indeed more than the sum of its parts.
To achieve this harmony requires such things as virtue of intentions,
integrity of actions, and exercise of fiduciary responsibility as the internal
dynamics of a sound relationship, which in turn fuel the inner Wall Street
Psychologist’s Gyroscope.
Also ensure that your client understands you don’t work for free—
just like he doesn’t in his job. It is important for everyone to bear
in mind that clients have the freedom to choose their FP, as well
as to disengage. Conversely, the FP broker may resign from the
relationship if he feels the fit is mutually unproductive.
The unfortunate reality is that many clients are simply ingrates and
obnoxious—some, though, much more than others. And others are ter-
rific, warm, kind, bright, loyal people who deeply appreciate your efforts
on their behalf.
I remember one particularly exasperated client who told me about
one of her own clients who had a $2 million-dollar port but who kept
making ludicrous comparisons between the broker and a wealthy bil-
lionaire, who averaged higher annual gains. For instance, the client
would make derogatory comments about the broker’s trading skills and
make snide comments, such as complaining that a $10,000 investment
with this billionaire would have grown to $80 million during that time
frame.
We dissected and analyzed the character and personality of the client
and concluded that he was passive aggressive and sadistic. More impor-
tantly, we then developed management techniques to handle this, which
consisted of healthy distance, avoidance, and minimal contact. It ap-
peared that this was enough to “discipline” this client who then sobered
up and became more respectful and easier to manage.
It is your responsibility to demonstrate to your clients why they need
you. Educating yourself so that in time you can honestly, confidently,
and creatively design and oversee a client’s entire financial universe is a
great place to start. Good FPs are, by definition, the true masters of the
universe, and not scam artists or Ponzi schemers. They are the real deal:
committed and heroic. They are caught in the storm of the markets which
is all the more reason why their gyroscopes might be tight, fit, true, and
genuine.
Customize investment allocations and goals. Everyone knows that a
portfolio should be smartly allocated so as to protect its owner against
the typical patterns of market volatility (e.g., inflation). Truly excellent
financial professionals establish sounder and longer-term relationships
with their clients by customizing each and every client’s allocations
based on that client’s particular risk tolerance or aversions, asset base,
and age.
For example: a retired person is better off with tax-exempt invest-
ments that throw off a fixed income, rather than aggressive growth funds.
There is no one-size-fits-all in financial management. Your clients will
Expectations Management 27
appreciate you much more if you take the time to understand their needs,
resources, and goals comprehensively and tailor a flexible model on their
behalf.
of the specialists to whom you refer clients, and eventually you will be-
come a referral yourself.
Create regular fact sheets for your clients, so that they remain “in the
loop” on current financial topics. Walk them through the workings
and tendencies of the market step by step. Never assume you have been
understood—give your clients the opportunity to ask questions. Be a cli-
ent teacher, but never condescending. Indulge their curiosity. If the in-
formation you offer is accurate, well-presented, and timely, it will create
appreciation and genuine trust.
Act As If Again
Even when the going gets tough, do not allow your clients to drag you
down into an abyss of panic and gloom. To a responsible and reasonable
degree, act as if everything will be fine—and more of it will be. For in-
stance, do your research and provide a comprehensive view of the entire
issue. The client may only be aware of the most dramatic elements. Put
the situation into historical context. See what other people are saying,
including analyst and media coverage. Make sure to be responsive to all
concerns and recommend a course of action. Convey an air of confidence
so that he reassures the client that you will both work together through
the crisis.
Be Selective
Try to gain a clear sense of what kinds of people you work well with
and target those people. Do you work well with older people, men,
women, small business owners, executives, technology aficionados, ag-
gressive investors—or risk-averse clients? If you can be self-aware in
this way and harness your own personality, interests, and interpersonal
strengths, you can develop your own specialty niche, dealing with the
clients and interests you enjoy. Chances are your days will be increas-
ingly filled with more gratifying dealings and positive emotions. Never
forget that you bring yourself as a person to the job, your life history
and background, your likes and dislikes, your skills and talents, your
liabilities and vulnerabilities.
These are only some recommended tactics for developing an effec-
tive Relationship Management Strategy. You need to do an assessment
to see whether or not the issues you have in your life are the result of
factors beyond your control, or due to personality conflicts, suspicions,
or perceived slights. Ultimately, you may not be able to do much about
competitive and adversarial relationships, but you can improve the way in
which you interact with the people you share the trenches with.
Reputation-Protection Strategy
Despite the old adage, there certainly is such a thing as bad publicity es-
pecially today in the Internet age. Before you hit that send key, remember
that whatever you post online will likely help define you indefinitely.
For instance, 45 percent of employers reported in a recent Career-
Builder survey that they use social networking sites to research job can-
didates, a big jump from 22 percent last year. Another 11 percent plan
to start using social networking sites for screening. More than 2,600
hiring managers participated in the survey, which was completed in
June 2009.
Of those who conduct online searches/background checks of job can-
didates, 29 percent use Facebook, 26 percent use LinkedIn and 21 percent
use MySpace. One in ten (10 percent) search blogs while 7 percent follow
candidates on Twitter.
Expectations Management 31
And over half have decided not to hire someone based on what they
found. Here are just some of the things that may be discovered online:
Once you have purchased your domain name, establish a site, which you
can do easily with hosted providers, such as go Daddy (www.godaddy
.com/), Network Solutions (www.networksolutions.com/). Or, download
Word Press blog software for free and start a blog on your new site (http://
wordpress.org/). Try to post an entry at least once per week.
Write at least once a week and remember that what you write will be
read by your professional peers and potential new clients—each blog post
you write is an opportunity to showcase your personality, intelligence, wit,
and your grasp of your chosen profession. You can communicate with
Expectations Management 33
your clients, and send articles and technical data. Having a live site also
encourages communication. Quarterly Internet mailings to your clients is a
powerful tool, and it demonstrates commitment to your field and to your
clients. You can customize and personalize your mailing and track special
interests of any given client. A blog can be a valuable reputation manage-
ment tool if you have good information to share on your blog that is of
interest to clients, colleagues, and prospects. Here are some tips to make
your blog a successful way to generate new interest in you as a professional:
Be Personal
Do not get into specifics about your family, your relationships, your work
stresses or otherwise delve beneath the surface of your daily life. This is not
only unprofessional but can imbue your blog with a sense of negativity. Keep
your voice positive and stay away from personal issues. Would you be embar-
rassed if the CEO or a principal of the company read your post? If so, rewrite.
Be Objective
Too many business blogs serve as extended advertisements for the company
and little else. It is no wonder that these tend to be unsuccessful. A good
strategy is to take a birds-eye view of the industry you are in while fre-
quently returning to your own business. Objectivity establishes credibility.
If you start a business blog, you better be prepared to stick with it. A cli-
ent who enjoys your business blog for a month only to watch it fall into
disuse and disrepair will make some powerful assumptions about your
Expectations Management 35
There are a number of sites where you can post content to extend your
reputation on the web (i.e., Amazines www.amazines.com/, Buzzle www
.buzzle.com/, Ezine Articles http://ezinearticles.com/, Helium www
.helium.com/). When you do conceive a report or plan to publish some-
thing that demonstrates your prowess, consider posting a related article
on one of these sites.
Do not ever use ethnic slurs, personal insults, obscenity, or engage in any
conduct that would not be acceptable in your workplace. You should also
show proper consideration for others privacy and for topics that may be
considered objectionable or inflammatory—such as politics and religion.
Be Transparent
If you comment publicly about any issue in which you are engaged in
your capacity as an employee of your organization, even loosely, you
36 MASTERING THE MONEYED MIND, VOLUME IV
must make your status as an employee clear. You should also be clear
about whether, in such commentary, you are speaking for yourself
(presumably the normal case) or for your employer. If you have a
vested interest in something you are discussing, be the first to point
it out.
Be Judicious
Make sure you write and post about your areas of expertise. If you are
writing about a topic that your employer is involved with but you are
not the expert on the topic, you should make this clear to your readers.
And write in the first person. If you publish to a website outside your
employer, use a disclaimer something like this: “The postings on this site
are my own and don’t necessarily represent _____’ positions, strategies,
or opinions.”
It Is a Conversation
Talk to your readers like you would talk to real people in professional
situations. In other words, avoid overly pedantic or “composed” language.
Do not be afraid to bring in your own personality and say what is on your
mind. Consider content that is open-ended and invites response. Encour-
age comments. You can also broaden the conversation by citing others
who are blogging about the same topic and allowing your content to be
shared or syndicated.
Expectations Management 37
Be a Leader
If you make a mistake, admit it. Be upfront and be quick with your cor-
rection. If you are posting to a blog, you may choose to modify an earlier
post—just make it clear that you have done so. If you are about to publish
something that makes you even the slightest bit uncomfortable, do not
shrug it off and hit “send.” Take a minute to review these guidelines and
try to figure out what is bothering you, then fix it. If you are still unsure,
you might want to discuss it with your manager or legal representative.
Chances are you may already belong to some form of Social Network.
Try to minimize the use of Social Media for personal means and focus
your online persona as the best possible reflection of your reputation. Top
recommendations include:
LinkedIn (www.linkedin.com/),
Twitter (http://twitter.com/),
Naymz (www.naymz.com/),
Delicious (http://delicious.com/),
Technorati (http://technorati.com/), and others.
38 MASTERING THE MONEYED MIND, VOLUME IV
When you are trying to build search engine results for your name,
each site you join must be joined under your real name.
Other sites you should consider joining include:
Digg (http://digg.com/),
Reddit (www.reddit.com/),
Propeller (www.propeller.com/), and
Facebook (www.facebook.com/).
Photos are perhaps the most damaging piece of online evidence that can
be posted, especially as they can be subject to misinterpretation.
Now what is this all about? It is about reputation and image/impression
management.
It is about taking good care of yourself, and making sure that you
protect one of your most important assets: your reputation. Reputation
is how the world, your colleagues, and your clients know and ultimately
trust you. A painful analogy from law is applicable here. When testifying
under oath, one can “speak the truth” 999 times, and lie only once. And
then it is over. Your credibility evaporates.
Clever, righteous, smart cross examiners then have the legal and moral
right to invalidate all of the rest of your testimony in spite of its veracity.
The world knows you by your reputation, your own brand. Reputation and
trust interweave, and are bonded and etched on the collective conscious of
all people. Your reputation encapsulates your character, your history, your
skill sets, and your motives. Never underestimate it. The brand is you.
Success Benchmarking
How do you define success?
I am often surprised at how many of my clients really do not have
a well-defined image of what success means to them. Their concept of
success—not abstract success, but the type of real success that imbues
you with a deep sense of self-satisfaction—is often vague or nonexistent.
Other times, my clients have a vague, undefined idea of what success
Expectations Management 39
means to them in one aspect of their lives, but are totally clueless when it
comes to other parts of their life.
Whether it is career advancement, raising your children, your rela-
tionship with your spouse/significant other, or any other parts of your
life, not knowing where you stand means you are destined to fall. Psycho-
logically, not knowing how far away the finish line is makes the race so
much harder to run. Not being able to personally appreciate your success
can lead to dangerous and self-destructive behavior.
I have a remarkable client who on the surface is as aggressive and
successful as you will find on Wall Street. She is a bond trader at a major
investment house that literally has swings of making/losing hundreds of
millions of dollars per day. She is super aggressive and borderline narcis-
sistic when it comes to her sense of self, and she is obsessed and in awe of
old Carnegie Hill/Southampton money.
She is aggressively homosexual and she seduced and won a lover of
like persuasion to partner with (main lure of target lover was her “old
money” background rooted in Carnegie Hill and Southampton). She
drinks excessively and has a severe substance abuse problem, cocaine,
which she has remarkably been able to confine to Friday and Saturday
night usage. She has a voracious sexual appetite and engages in unhealthy
sexual activities, including orgies, while also hustling men, whom she de-
spises, in Upper East Side bars posing as a straight siren right out of Greek
mythology.
Despite her outward behavior, in the confines of our sessions, she
sheds the façade and admits to low-grade chronic depression. This stems
from major self-esteem and sense of self issues. She hates being out of
control and never feels good enough or worthy enough despite massive
financial and artistic achievements. She is gifted in journal writing. She
writes every day. She has tons of excellent material, some of which she has
graciously shared with me.
She is unable to reconcile her achievements and success with her sense
of self, to the point where she is such a miserably unhappy person who
finally had to go on psychotropic pharmaceuticals. She was also able to
detox as an outclient. She has finally made a deep commitment to treat-
ment after scamming, conning, avoiding, dancing, running, and hiding
for far too long and living in fear and pain for so long.
40 MASTERING THE MONEYED MIND, VOLUME IV
If you are like most Wall Street professionals, too much of your definition
of success is measured and mired in money. Success has many mean-
ings and nuances. An individual who thinks only of success in terms of
financial accomplishments and milestones is destined to think and ulti-
mately exist in limited ways. This world view can keep you locked in an
endless mission taking other people’s financial inventories as well as your
own. Taking financial inventory refers to your assessment of another per-
son’s true value as a function of their net worth rather than their inherent
value as a person with a variety of skills, talents, capacities, and delightful
idiosyncrasies. If you buy into this value system and world view, then
you have to come to terms with the fact that others will only judge your
“human worth” by your portfolio. This is a quid pro quo relational dy-
namic you may want to avoid.
You see, the more successful you become, the more discerning you
become. You do not focus on the 99 percent of people in your life you
have surpassed financially. Instead, you are destined to obsess about the
1 percent of those whom you have not trumped yet. A lot can be lost
in the shuffle. The other trap is that an increase in your asset base may
increase your sense of superiority and righteousness. All of this lays fertile
groundwork for pathological narcissism.
Coming to the realization that you need not define your worth strictly
in terms of money can be quite difficult because so much of their lives are
measured, dictated, and controlled in financial terms.
Select one category that you feel comfortable exploring and write
down some achievable goals. Make them reasonable and set deadlines
that are within reach. Think about the obstacles you will face. As you
become more comfortable with this technique, expand the scope of your
personal goal-setting. You are visualizing your success and participating
more actively in your quest for fulfillment.
Hopefully, the technique described in the last paragraph will enable you
to better identify your real goals. However, as with any challenge on Wall
Street, success requires not just identifying the objective and its obstacles.
42 MASTERING THE MONEYED MIND, VOLUME IV
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