INTERVIEW GUIDE (7 questions)

Interview # ___2__

Person Interviewed: ___Lindsey Mulholland_______________

Relationship: ______My Wife__________

Questions:

1. When you think about my general interpersonal skills, what are some adjectives or
phrases that come to mind that are good descriptions? Caring Compassionate always
willing to do what is needed for my family, Stoic, loyal, hard worker.

2. What do you consider to be my greatest strengths in this regard? My greatest strength in

this regard is that I always find a way to do what is necessary for our family. I am often
able to take control of a situation and find a logical way to handle whatever situation may
arise. I am always able to find a way to ease the burden for my wife.

3. What do you consider to be my greatest weaknesses or areas for improvement? My

greatest weakness is communication. Although I am always able to do what I best I often
leave my wife in the dark and she feels that she isn’t a part of the decision making she is
part of the decision. My wife said that I have a plan in my head but I am the only one
who knows what is going on and that if I would let her in on the plan she may be able to
help me in the plan.

4. Specific Behavioral Competencies (on a scale of 1 to 10 – 10 being highest):

1. Ability to listen and convey empathy. Rating: ___5__ Comments: This is a hard
question because there are two sides to it on one side if she is upset I listen really well
but on the other hand if she is just talking to me I don’t always listen very well. There are
times that she tells me something important a I don’t listen and then get mad when I
didn’t know something was going on that she already told me about.

2. Demonstrates compassion, consideration and caring for others. Rating: __7___

Comments: Sometimes I don’t care a lot about what others think or feel outside of my
family and I would rather just do what I want to do and not listen to what they would
 like. This sometimes get my wife into hot water because I am viewed negatively by
others. When it could have all been avoided if I would have just accepted someone else
thoughts

3. Ability to understand and communicate effectively with people who see the world
differently. Rating: ___5__ Comments: It is often hard for me to see other people’s
views and be able to see their side of things. I have good intentions but it is viewed as me
being mean or uncaring.

4. Building trust and credibility. Rating: __10___ Comments: everyone at work trusts me
and the people that I put into the Air Force trust me if they are giving up 6 years of their
life because of something I said. I usually have facts to back up my views and that helps
others view me as credible.

5. Skill at cultivating relationships. Rating: ___9__ Comments: I always make friends

easily and I am able to have good relationships with my bosses and not burn bridges.
When we go out there are times when people come up and talk to me even when I
haven’t seen them for a while. The people I recruit always speak very highly of me and
are willing to do anything for me.

6. Demonstrating an awareness of own style and how it affects others, and makes
adjustments as necessary. Rating: __3___ Comments: I don’t adjust to people’s styles
well and there have been times when I have had to adjust to their style and I get mad
about doing it their way. I am able to see that someone has a different style than I do but
I am not able to accept it and move on.

7. Developing and maintaining positive relationships with others. Rating: _8____

Comments: I don’t loss to many friends and the friends I keep close are trustworthy and
I don’t have to many enemies. I have a lot of good relationships at work with current and
past bosses. The people who I put into the Air Force still stay in touch and like to talk
with me even after they leave for training.

8. Demonstrates flexibility and adaptability. Rating: ___6__ Comments: I can be flexible

when I want but I prefer to have a schedule and stick to it especially if it is something I
want to do. I am able to be spur of the moment as well and able to come up with good
ideas quickly.
9. Works to build others' value with positive impact to all. Rating: __10___ Comments: I
don’t blame anyone when I am behind and I prefer to help others in my job than to make
myself look good. I am always answering the phone late at night to help a fellow recruiter
and I don’t mind taking the time to explain processes to them. I am good at listening to
those I work with and helping them see how the impact the big picture.

10. Self-knowledge and self-awareness. Rating: __7___ Comments: When we fight, I am

able to come back and apologies if it was something that was started because of me. I am
able to look back and fic something if I know that the way I am doing something is
causing problems in my relationships.

11. Ability to keep an open mind regarding controversial issues. Rating: __2___
Comments: I am very bull headed on what I believe and no one is going to change my
mind. If someone has different ideals than I do I automatically think that they are wrong
even without hearing what they have to say. If I don’t want to listen to something I don’t
listen.

12. Ability to separate emotions from facts in conflict situations. Rating: __4___
Comments: I am very intact with my emotions and when I argue I am very emotional. I
use my emotions to often and I should take a step back and breath then observe what is
going on and listen then act after that. I am unable to let go of the past.

13. Resolving differences between people using persuasion, diplomacy and logic. Rating:
__6___ Comments: People listen to what I have to say and they are able to see my side
of the story however sometimes I force my opinion on people and they do not react well
to that. I do however usually have a logical reason as to why I am suggesting things.

14. Effectively handles conflict, preserving good relations. Rating: __7___ Comments: I
have conflicts at work sometimes and haven’t gotten myself into too much trouble. My
wife and I have conflicts and we still love each other so I must not be too bad at
preserving relationships.

5. Have you observed any specific instances in which I have effectively adapted my
behaviors in order to relate more effectively with others who have different personalities,
cultural backgrounds, perspectives or beliefs? Please elaborate. My wife feels that if I did
ever do this it wouldn’t be because I wanted to see where the person was coming from it
 would be because I had to and I probably be because I had to and I wouldn’t necessarily
be happy about it. She can’t think of any time that she has seen me do this. If I don’t
want to go hang out with people that she wants us to go hang out with I don’t try to like
that person or their ideas I just deal with it for that day and move on.

6. If you could suggest three things I could do to improve my interpersonal skills, what
would they be? My skills with her would be to listen more when she talks to me and not
just say that I am listening. I could work on getting frustrated so quickly and step back
from the situation and just observe and make a positive difference not a negative one.
Learn to communicate better and not just think that she knows what I am thinking. I can
improve on how I convey a message as well.

7. In considering my human relations abilities, is there anything else you would like to add?
She said she loves me and although she beat me up in this she thinks that stronger
communication will help our marriage to become even that much stronger and also for
me to be an even better person.