Chapter 19

The Lock
Unlocking the Treasure Vault of Love and Friendship

Once upon a time there was a vault containing gold,

diamonds, and gems. A sturdy lock guarded the door
to this vault to keep its contents secure.
The mighty crowbar came by and saw the lock as
a challenge. He had never encountered anything he
couldn’t demolish before. Did they really think they
could keep him out of the vault with one simple lock?
The crowbar was a thick and heavy bar of iron.
Countless crates, chests, and cabinets had
disintegrated before his attack. He took considerable
pride in his strength and destructive power. Looking at
the lock, he decided he should smash it, just to make a
point.
The crowbar struck the lock, expecting it to
break apart, but it was unaffected. This surprised him.
He struck again, putting more force into it. He got the
same result—the lock didn’t even show a dent! Now he
was becoming annoyed.
Using his full strength, the crowbar struck again
and again. Sparks flew and the noise was deafening.
When finally he stopped, exhausted, he was amazed to
see that the lock was still in one piece. This was the
toughest obstacle he had ever faced.
He was still trying to figure out what to do next
when the key came along.
He looked at the key and saw that she was very
small compared to him. The difference between them
was dramatic. He was massive and muscular; she
seemed insignificant and weak.
 She asked him: “Were you the one making all
that racket?”
“Oh, you ain’t heard nothing yet. Just let me
catch my breath and I’ll show this lock who’s boss.”
“No need,” said the key. She slipped into the
lock and turned slightly.
The crowbar heard a click, and then the lock fell
open.
He couldn’t believe it. “Wait a minute. This
makes no sense. I am a lot more powerful than you
are. How can you open it so easily when I couldn’t do
it after all that effort?”
The key told him: “Because I am the one who
understands the heart of the lock.”

The Tao

We all encounter obstacles in life. They keep us from the things we

want and frustrate us. When we come up against such obstacles, it can
be very easy for us to be like the crowbar, wanting to use the brute
force approach to break apart or smash through the things that stand
in the way. Our language reflects this tendency: when we make
significant progress with a problem, we call it a breakthrough.
All too often we find that the crowbar approach doesn’t work.
For instance, a salesman who encounters resistance to his pitch may
resort to high-pressure sales tactics, only to meet with even more
resistance. Just as it was for the crowbar, the increased effort leads to
a lot of noise but little or no success.
Or consider what happens when you have a disagreement with
others and you know you’re right. You become ever more forceful.
You hammer away at their arguments and crush their points one by
one. But much to your frustration, they cling to their views even more
stubbornly than before, refusing to see your logic. The interactions
become strained. Eventually, like the crowbar, you have to stop
because you are exhausted.
Tao sages approach such life obstacles in a very different way.
From their observation of nature, they realize that the truly strong
does not have the appearance of strength, and in the long run, it is
always “soft” that triumphs over “hard.” Thus, in chapter 43 of Tao
Te Ching we see the following lines:

The softest things in the world

Override the hardest things in the world

For instance, water is infinitely flexible and conforms to any shape,

while rocks are solid and unyielding. And yet, given time, water will
invariably penetrate into, cut through, wear down, and wash away
rocks.
There are numerous other examples. When the hurricane comes,
it is the lowly and pliable grass that bends with the winds and
survives, while the mighty but inflexible trees are uprooted and
toppled. Or consider what happens when people advance into their
senior years. They lose their teeth (the “hard”) but their tongues (the
“soft”) remain the same.
When we apply this principle to human affairs, we begin to see
that it isn’t such a great idea to force your views on others. In an
argument, the most important thing isn’t being “right.” You can assert
your righteousness until you’re blue in the face and still have no
success in winning over others. In fact, you may even achieve the
opposite and push people away.
In general, when we try to force an issue or force agreement,
what little gains we achieve are never proportional to the work we put
into it. The effort and struggles do not translate into progress. Instead,
they go into increasing tension, destroying harmony, and damaging
relationships.
The far better way—the way of the Tao—is to be like the key.
The lock is not an obstacle to the key because the key knows its inner
workings. Similarly, when faced with a problem, what we need to do
is not to attack it from the outside, but to understand it from within.
Once you thoroughly understand the heart of the matter, it can no
longer exist as an obstacle. There will be nothing for you to smash
into pieces, and nothing for you to break through.
Armed with complete understanding, it will require very little
effort for you to achieve your objective. Like the slight turn of the
key, your actions don’t seem like much, and yet you are able to
achieve agreement while reducing tension, promoting harmony, and
building relationships. This is the secret of wu wei. By seemingly
doing almost nothing, there is nothing that the Tao sage cannot
accomplish. The sage’s insight—literally the inside view—is the key
to this secret.
The same principle applies not just when we encounter
problems, but also when we interact with others day in and day out.
Everyone’s heart is like a vault, locked and kept secure by a sturdy
lock. The treasures in the vault represent the heart’s great potential for
love, friendship, and support.
If you wish to gain access to this treasure, put away your
crowbar. It doesn’t matter how thick it is; it will never be able to pry
open the door. Use instead the key of kindness and caring. When you
insert this key, you’ll find that it fits the lock perfectly. And with a
slight turn of the key, all the treasures of the vault shall be yours.