Empathic Listening

Empathic Listening Defined

 Listening empathically means to listen with
the intent to understand how the speaker feels
in addition to understanding his or her ideas

 Showing empathy involves identifying with a

person’s emotions and situation, even if not
in agreement with them

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Empathic Listening Defined
 Empathic listening is typically an effective
technique to use in emotional situations, when
there is a problem that needs resolving, or if
there is conflict present

 The goal is to enable the listener to share

emotions free from judgment or criticism

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Empathic Listening Formula
Acknowledge Reflect Describe
Speaker Feelings Facts/Situation

“You got… upset… when you didn’t get

promoted at work.”

Adapted from: Burley-Allen, Madelyn. Listening: The Forgotten Skill (2nd

edition). New York, NY: John Wiley & Sons, Inc., 1995.

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Empathic Listening Formula
Phrases to help get started:

“You feel…”
“It seems like…”
“As I understand it, you sound…”
“It appears as if…”
“If I hear you correctly, you’d like…”
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Empathic Listening Example
Speaker: “I can’t believe what poor shape our
finances are in. I think Karen is really
mismanaging the budget and I’m
worried.”

Listener: “If I hear you correctly, you feel distressed about

what’s happening with the company’s money.”

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Steps for Empathic Listening
1. Listen carefully to the speaker’s messages,
both verbal and nonverbal
2. Display an open, caring posture
3. Consider the speaker’s emotional state
4. Calmly reflect back what you perceive the
speaker’s feelings and meaning to be

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Behaviors to Avoid
 Questioning or Probing
 Judging
 Criticizing
 Lecturing
 Advising
 Interrupting
 Giving autobiographical responses (e.g.
“when I was on that team…”)
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Empathic Listening Tips
 Be interested in the speaker
 Have good eye contact and body language
 Minimize distractions
 Invite the speaker to expand on his or her
thoughts
 Respond in a tone that is appropriate for the
situation

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Points to Remember
 Empathic listening is about the speaker, not
the listener

 It is not necessary to use empathic listening

during an entire conversation; it is primarily a
way to understand another person’s point of
view

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