Smart Planning Concerning a Lasting Marriage

Selected Scripture
January 12, 2020

Biblical Marriage Definition:

Marriage is a total commitment, and a total sharing of oneself with another person until death.
God’s intention for marriage is that two people share their bodies, their possessions, their
strengths, their weaknesses, their ideas, their abilities, their sufferings, and their successes.

Divorce rates among Americans are at epic highs:

• America has a divorce rate of 52%
• The average marriage in America lasts 8.2 years
• America has one divorce every 36 seconds
• America records 2,400 divorces per day
• America records 16,000 divorces per week
• Alabama has a divorce rate of 12.3%
• Alabama ranks 16th among all 50 states in divorce
• Winston County records 15.3% divorce rate
• 60% of all married couples report being very dissatisfied in their marriages

Foundational principle:
There is only one statement about marriage that God includes four times in the Bible. “For this
cause shall a man leave his father and mother and shall cleave to his wife, and they shall
become one flesh.”

I. Smart Marriages Recognize They Are Brought Together by God

Genesis 2:18 (NKJV) And the LORD God said, "It is not good that man should be
alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him."

Socrates:
“By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll become very happy. If you get a bad one,
you’ll become a philosopher.”

Herbert Samuel:
“It takes two to make a marriage successful, but only one to make it a failure.”

Genesis 2:21-22 (NKJV) And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept;
and He took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh in its place. 22Then the rib which the LORD
God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man.

Takeaway:
The only person that another person should marry is the one that God brings to you. God never
brings an unbeliever to a believer. If you are a believer, and you are dating an unbeliever, then
you are dating a person that God did not bring to you.

2 Corinthians 6:14 (NKJV) Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what
fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?
Takeaway:
I love to marry people that God puts together, but I cannot marry two people that God has not
brought to each other. It’s just not smart.

Proverbial statement:
It’s not how you start that counts; it’s how you finish. When it comes to marriage, how you begin
is as important as how you end.

II. Smart Marriages Recognize They Are Bound Together by God

Marriage has three aspects:

1. Leaving – Separation

Genesis 2:24a (NKJV) Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother…

2. Joining - Cleaving

Genesis 2:24b Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be
joined to his wife…

3. Uniting – One flesh

Genesis 2:24 (NKJV) Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and
be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

Genesis 2:25 (NKJV) And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and
were not ashamed.

Wayne Mack:
“Marriage is infinitely rewarding at its best, but indescribably oppressive at its worst. And what
makes the difference is intimacy. If you have intimacy, it's rewarding. If you don't, it's miserable.”

III. Smart Marriages Recognize What Is Required of Them by God

Mark 10:9 (NKJV) Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.

Paul Frost:
"A successful marriage demands a divorce. A divorce from your own self-love."

Four smart words that will strengthen every marriage:

1. Laugh
2. Date
3. Encourage
4. Forgive