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Sarah Shimunov

Dr. Robert Gibney

English 101

14/102020

Looking Back at Revision

When I was initially writing for this essay, I misunderstood the difference between telling

a story versus relating something I had an opinion about. I was very vague in writing my

anecdote about failing to write something and submitted my essay in relief, almost happy to “be

done with it”. When I got feedback from Dr. Gibney on my essay, he began by stating something

positive about the way I used my “anecdote” and transitioned into the rest of the essay. I was

very happy with what he started with and proceeded to push this information to the back of my

mind. I didn’t think I would need to edit that part of my essay and just looked over the small

highlighted parts to think I could reword them differently. After a tutoring session with Dr.

Gibney, I realized that I hadn’t looked over my work carefully enough nor read the assignment’s

instructions correctly. I only looked over my essay twice, only to correct a few spelling mistakes

and rewording some things around to make more sense, and just to be over with it. Donald

Murray, in his article “The Maker’s Eye: Revising Your Own Manuscripts”, relates this exact

problem that many new writers often have. Murray states that revision isn’t mandatory for

writing, but it certainly helps to improve the purpose and structure of the piece. Scrutinizing the

words line by line to see what can be changed to make more sense, rereading the sentences out

loud, and reconstructing the paragraphs to drive the purpose into the draft detect small details

that can ultimately alter the value of the piece.


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Line-by-line editing is one method that can improve a writer’s reading skills as well as

their writing process in general. Murray mentions that “each sentence, each line, each clause,

each phrase...has to contribute to the clarification of meaning” (613). Everything a writer puts

down on paper must show the purpose of their message in writing, along with coherency and

clarity for the reader. There shouldn’t be extra and unneeded words because that tends to

oversimplify things and confuses the reader. It distracts from the driven message to the audience.

Information and meaning within that information is another valuable asset to one’s piece that

could alter the purpose and attitude of the writing. Murray agrees that enough information can

“construct a readable piece of writing” (612) and is essential to the purpose meant to be

expressed to the audience. Having a connection to the information that’s being written on will

improve the quality of the writing and bring the writer to edit more closely. For example, if a

student simply fulfills all the required pieces of an assignment, they will fail to find an incentive

to revise their work. There is no shame in failure, for that is how people improve, and the only

way to become greater. Being done and over with a piece leads a person to think that they are

done growing, something I hope to change for my own mind thinking in the future. Once we find

a connection to what we write, it becomes a pathway to better editing and a more detailed

revision of the piece.

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