THE FAMILY: IN PERSPECTIVES

The family is the basic unit of the society. Each family is unique as a result of the blending of factors that
influence the dynamics of behaviors and interaction among family members in and outside of their
home. These factors include family values, traditions, beliefs, socio-economic status, and religion.

But no matter how families grow, they adhere to serving some general functions and structures.

Functions

The family serves important functions that are integral to the development of a person. Significantly, the
family shapes a child's behavior through experiences gained through the years.

Here are some of the general functions of a family

Procreation

The family is an institution recognized to perform the duty to procreate, i.e., to have children. Along
with it is the duty of the parents to provide other life-giving and loving ways of raising them.

Economic Provision

Caring for the children includes taking care of their needs over and above the basics: food, shelter, and
clothing. It may sound like an old cliché, but education remains one of the perfect legacies of parents to
their children.

Love

There is a quote that says, "Family is where life begins and where love never ends." Material provision,
while it matters a lot, does not solely answer an individual's needs. Love holds the greatest importance
in the tamily. It is what is most needed. It is the best gt. it encompasses everything. It is what can drive
members of the family to do anything for the welfare of another.

Socialization

The family provides immediate opportunities for the children to grow through the interactions an
individual experiences with the members of the family, with other people that the family associates
with, and through engagement with various activities. Social interactions build social ties, develop
language and behavior, and promote learning. The family is also expected to be the first teacher to instill
proper behavior and good character.

Sense of Security

Family offers a stable companionship--a feeling that you are not alone in this world. While adolescents
like you are kept busy discovering the self, growing, being independent, and expanding your own world,
you will still need a "secure base" a safe place where you can draw support, comfort, and reassurance
especially when life becomes challenging. A family is expected to be able to provide that kind of
emotional environment.

Structures

The last decade has seen a lot of changes that transformed many institutions including the family.
Consider these different family structures:

Nuclear Family

This is the traditional type of family. Two parents and their children are living together as one family is
an example.

Extended Family

Aside from the two parents and their children, the family is joined in by relatives who live with them,
like grandparents, cousins or auntes/uncles. They generally share common goals at home.

Family with Working Parents

From what used to be 'only the father working for the family, and mother tending the home and
children, both parents now work to support the family. The high cost of living and expanse of other
expenses compel both parents to work for financial security and to assure the future of the children.
Some parents, even painstakingly, go abroad for better pay. If both parents work in another country,
children are often left to their grandparents or closest relative. This setup, wherein parents (either one
or both of them) have to work overseas, often poses a greater challenge for the family since parents are
farther away. Fortunately, new technologies in communication make it possible now to keep the family
members in touch with one another.

Single-Parent Family

This type of family refers to the setup in which either the mother or father alone takes the responsibility
of caring for the child or children. In cases of separation/divorce of parents, children are usually left to
either one of the parents (usually the mother). The parent with the children may single-handedly take
care of raising them if support from the father is nil. There are also instances when single-parenting is
caused by the demise of one spouse, automatically leaving the children to the surviving parent. Another
situation resulting in single parent family is having a child without having gotten married. In many
instances, the single parent is suppoted by his/her family in raising the child. The grandparents, auntie,
or uncle become closely involved as they provide support, love, and attention for the child. The child
sees them as his/her own family.

Blended Family

This setup consists of a couple wherein one or both of them have children from a previous marriage or
relationship. In many instances, it happens when separation, annulment/divorce, or death of spouse
eventually leads to remarriage. The couple remarrying may have children from their previous
relationships. Bringing their children to come together to live in one home as a family forges new
relationships can be challenging when potential conflicts among children cannot be helped, but having
the two sets of children come together may develop familial kinship.

Childless Family

There are family situations when couples do not have children either by choice or due to certain
circumstances (e.g., health). Couples, aside from their work, take up special activities like sports, get
involved in certain advocacies, or may take care of a pet whicn they include as part of the family. This
brings more meaning to their shared life.

Other Family Setups/ Frameworks

There are couples who live together as common-law or domestic partners. These are couples who are
not legally married but are living together and sharing household responsibilities. They can choose to
adopt, or take care of a child from a previous relationships (if there is).

As family structure evolves through time, we also find another kind of setup. There are now same-sex
partners who raise a child (either adopted or a biological child of one of them). Either that child would
have two mommies or two daddies then. Whatever the setup, they strive to function as a family.

FAMILY EXPERIENCES

Child-Rearing Practices and Family Care

How you were cared for by your family makes a significant mark in your development. It affects how you
function, behave, and relate with other people. Attachments that date back to childhood (which you
may not vividly remember at an instant) are important experiences that influence your ability to trust
and achieve a high level of security with people.

Child-rearing reflects the kind of parenting style exercised by parents. These are patterns or ways with
which parents raise their children. Dr. Diana Baumrind, a psychologist who studied parenting styles,
identified three broad patterns as authoritarian, permissive, and authoritative. Further research done by
Eleanor Maccoby and John Martin suggested another parenting style-neglectful.

a. Authoritarian

This is characterized by rigid and/or demanding parenting style. Parents are very strict. They expect their
children to follow them without question. They do not tolerate misbehavior and do not hesitate to apply
punishment to control behavior.

b. Permissive

Opposite of authoritarian is a permissive kind of parenting. Parents of this nature are very giving to the
point of spoiling their children. They tend to be warm and loving. They have few expectations and
minimal limitations. They allow their children to be part in making decisions in the family.

C. Authoritative

This kind of parenting is considered balanced. Parents are authority figures who set clear expectations
from their children. They set reasonable limitations, yet they also give them room for independence,
provide them emotional support, and respect their point of view. They likewise empower their child to
exercise decision-making.

d. Neglectful

Neglectful parents are not involved in child-rearing. They may provide for the child's needs, but are
emotionally detached, unsupportive of their children, inconsistent, or unpredictable.

Challenges and Turning Points

There are certain events that create a huge impact on the family. It may change the status, dynamics, or
finances that affect family life. Some of these are separation/divorce, traumatic events, stresses, death,
and violence or abuse. Has it ever happened that a major event like the ones given occured in your
family? How did it affect everyone? How did it affect you?

NURTURING FAMILY RELATIONSHIPS

Relationships need work. Our family, no matter how closely knit, is no exception. Being close and
familiar is not enough to make each other loved. Family has to be continuously nurtured and
strengthened.

How can you nurture your family? Give it "TLC" which stands for time, love, and commitment.

Time. Make time for your family. Spend quality time with them and fill it with good moments. Do it
often. Family memories are made with time spent doing activities together. Do not just put them in
between your schedule. However, it is not only enough to be there for them during good times. Be
around most especially during difficult times. By doing this, you make each other feel that you are not
alone. It gives family members a sense that they are secure and united; there is support to count on
when needed. Time with your tamily also enhances communication as it gives opportunity for family
members to talk to one another.

Love. The family should be built on love. As everybody loves and needs to be loved, the family should be
the first to show it. However, love does not grow on its own. You have to do it. Each member of the
family should show love. How? By being caring in your actions toward them. Be honest. Be patient and
understanding. when they make mistakes, be forgiving.

Commitment. As it takes effort to do all those things, commit yourself to doing what is good, healthy,
and nurturing for your family. By being committed, you put the well-being and happiness of your family
first. You become dependable; you also help enhance family relationships, and make your family feel
secured.