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Jessica Gonzalez

Professor Beadle

ENGL 115

15 December 2020

Monstrous Self vs. Monstrous Society

To be monstrous is to act inhumanly or outrageously evil. The concept of being

monstrous or evil can come from your inner self or society. In Haruki Murakami’s short story,

“The Mirror,” the speaker talks about the idea of a monstrous self. In the short story also by the

same author, “The Silence,” the speaker talks about how society can be monstrous and evil

towards someone.​ “The Silence” is much more monstrous because it shows how ego and the

views of others can script out exactly how your life goes since someone who has a big ego can

act in an evil way towards those they view differently.

The protagonist in The Silence" meets a classmate, Aoki, who turns out to be a

narcissistic, psychotic dictator. Ozawa, the protagonist, despised Aoki for that. Aoki is going to

spread rumors about Ozawa. In a fit of frustration, Ozawa hits Aoki. Years later, a classmate

commits suicide, and Aoki spreads more rumors about Ozawa, saying that Ozawa had bullied the

dead classmate. This makes Ozawa sad and depressed. The isolation and alienation of Ozawa felt

deafening and terrifying. In the end, Ozawa soon learns that people like Aoki are not deserving

of their time or resources and that they can get through life without people like him. Ozawa also

understands that Aoki and the people who believed the lies he spewed were the true monsters he

saw in his dreams. This situation is very detrimental because, in this society, it is very convenient

to calculate the worth of your life based on how the majority perceives you. It doesn't make you

feel like you are important or that you are silenced to the extent that you feel like you don't have
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someone to speak to.​ “People like Aoki don't scare me. They're all over the place, but I don't

trouble myself with them anymore. When I run into them, I don't get involved. I see them

coming and I head the other way”(Murakami 306). Aoki is a narcissist. ​He is someone who

thinks that their life is more important than the life of others who are not as smart or famous.

Even though Ozawa has learned to block steam, there are millions of people who feel they don't

have the mental strength to do that. Aoki may be a mother, a father, a sibling, or even a girl who

thinks she's better because her parents got her a car at 16. Aoki maybe someone who suddenly

resorts to breaking you to create themselves without worrying twice about how dangerous it is.

They have an ego that is so enlarged that it blocks the fact that this universe is far larger and

more complicated than they are. When you give someone enough strength to believe like they

are strong enough to reshape another person's life, you're helping to create a monster.

Society has expectations that are not necessary. This is seen not only in school but also in

one's adult life. People concentrate on those who are of some kind of significance, and those who

have not made a name known to themselves are silenced. In a way, they feel neglected.​ Ozawa

says, “and this group never entertains even a sliver of doubt that they could be wrong. They think

nothing of hurting someone senselessly and permanently. They don't take any responsibility for

their actions. Them. They're the real monsters”(Murakami 306). ​This illustrates how mankind

can fall into a “sheep following a Sheppard” mentality. There were several occasions during

Ozawa's childhood when at least one classmate should have listened to him. One person may

have made him feel less lonely, but because he was considered to be a bad person all because of

one man's word, he was pushed into a shell of isolation.​ “Nearly 1 in 5 students (21%) report

being bullied during the school year, impacting over 5 million youth annually” ​(Bullying,
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Cyberbullying, & Suicide Statistics)​. This statistic shows that over 5 million children a year are

bullied all because people feel they are high enough to bring down their fellow man.​ Youth who

are bullied are at increased risk of depression, anxiety, trouble sleeping, lower academic

performance, and falling out of school. This data is important because Ozawa, who experienced

bullying from Aoki and other classmates, experienced these “side effects” of bullying like

depression and trouble sleeping.​ When one steps back and reflects on it, no man is greater than

the other. Everyone breathes, bleeds, and dies the same yet people being aware of their ego

makes all logic leave their brain and they become full of pride. A monstrous society is something

that is within every era of your life. As long as humans find importance in who is better than

who, greed and vanity will continue to corrupt and break a person.

“The Mirror” speaks more so on a monstrous self. In the story, the protagonist finds a

mirror and the encounter can be presented as monstrous because the reflection seemed to have

been some evil anomaly that looked only like the protagonist on the outside. Also, the

protagonist said that he had used his wooden kendo to smash the mirror, but the next day the

mirror was nowhere to be found. It was like there was no mirror, to begin with, and it was just

some figment in the mind of the protagonist. That reflection the protagonist saw that night was

full of hatred which the protagonist believes is far more frightening than any ghost. Self-hatred

can affect one’s world more than society can as a whole. Encountering people who make you

feel like you are not enough is one thing but, being your biggest critic is on a whole different

level. You can drop those people yet still be stuck with yourself forever. The protagonist

speaking on his story lived life thinking that he had a sound understanding of himself. He

thought that he had created a strong base as a person without realizing that self-esteem and
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self-image are two completely different things. No matter how much they tie into each other.

Courtney E. Ackerman states, “As you might imagine, self-image is related to what you see

when you look in a mirror—however, it goes much deeper than that. Self-image refers to how we

see ourselves on a more global level, both internally and externally” ​(Ackerman)​. When the

speaker was confronted with who he was past the external, he immediately showed fear. He

showed fear because he didn’t recognize himself even after believing that he had a firm grasp on

him as a human, causing him to fall into denial before accepting that maybe he just didn’t know

himself at all. He was his own worst enemy.

“In other words, identity is the whole picture of whom we believe we are--and whom we

tell ourselves and others that we are--while self-image is one piece of that picture” (Ackerman).

The narrator had a good grasp on self-image but, self-image is such a small part of who you truly

are as a person. That is shown when he is face to face with himself in the mirror because the

reflection doesn’t look like whom he has created himself to be, he believes it simply is not him.

The protagonist states that “[the] one thing I did understand was that this other figure loathed me.

Inside it was a hatred like an iceberg floating in a dark sea. The kind of hatred that no one could

ever diminish” ​(Murakami 59)​. Something so harmful about the monstrous self is that you do not

even realize that it is occurring. You lie to yourself and say that you are cool, calm, and collected

when in all actuality you’re full of hatred and loneliness, constantly eating yourself up.

Although a monstrous self is very destructive, a monstrous society tears down not only

you but those around you. When Ozawa was going through the lies being spread about him by

his peers, the impact of the words started to show in his physical appearance. He stopped eating

and even stopped indulging in the things he loved, such as boxing. When his loved ones tried to
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intervene and question his obvious changes, he simply lied because he felt like he had no one.

When the majority is making you feel like you are alone, you tend to convince yourself that it’s

the truth. Consistent negativity in the world results in cliques, being hyper-aware of self, and it

can even transform into mental illness.

Altogether, it is clear that a monstrous society is worse than a monstrous self. Although

the narrator in “The Mirror” had to go through self-realization and fear of the truth, these are

things that can slowly change with help from those you surround yourself with. With a

monstrous society, if you are not confident in yourself already, the venomous words of others

can break you. A world stuck in a mindset of only following the majority is a world that can not

properly prosper. To have a better view of self, we should first work on the view of our world

and those who inhabit it. That is why the option that looks at the bigger picture will always have

more of an impact.
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Works Cited

Ackerman, Courtney E. "What is Self-Image and How Do We Improve It? Definition +

Quotes." ​PositivePsychology.com,​ 26 Oct. 2019, positivepsychology.com/self-image/.

Accessed 1 Nov. 2020.

"Statistics — Megan Meier Foundation." ​Megan Meier Foundation,​

www.meganmeierfoundation.org/statistics. Accessed 28 Oct. 2020.

“The Mirror” by Haruki Murakami. Copied from Blind Willow, Sleeping Woman, published by

Vintage Books in 2006.

“The Silence” by Haruki Murakami. Copied from The Elephant Vanishes, published by Vintage

Books in 1993.