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The Transition to Parenthood and Marriage

Ashley Cabrera-Quintero

Brigham Young University- Idaho

FAM 300

October 24, 2020

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Overview of Parenthood

The transition to parenthood is considered one of the most life changing events to happen

to an individual and marriage. Depending on the individual, the change can be described as

positive or negative. When talking about parenthood, why do most adults advise young married

couples to not have children within the first couple years of marriage? Could it be because they

have more experience? Or because they are considered wiser than younger adults? There are

many reasons for their advice and counsel.

The Start: The Transition to Marriage

Before transitioning to parenthood, couples have to transition into marriage which leads

to parenthood. The transition to marriage is described as, “One of the most significant

psychological adjustments in adulthood…” (Cornelius & Sullivan, 2009). The transition to

marriage is a time where adapting occurs and the time to connect with your spouse. In a research

study provided by Santa Clara University Psychology Commons, several models have been

developed to explain divorce during early years of marriage. Disillusionment is a process that

couples use from the transition from dating to marriage. This process is not helpful because it

only happens for distressed couples. During the transition to marriage, Ms. Cornelius and Ms.

Sullivan explained that the research has provided them with information that allowed them to

know about the high-risk behaviors involved in the transition to marriage. The main high-risk

behavior is communication skills. As a couple transitions to marriage, the behavior of

communication decreases. According to research, the protective behaviors include support,

empathetic responding, and social support. (Cornelius & Sullivan, 2009). Having supportive

behaviors decreases stress and improves physical and mental well-being. The article explains

that, “Longitudinal research suggests that newlyweds with poor social support skills are at
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increased risk of distress and divorce two years after marriage.” (Cornelius & Sullivan, 2009).

Another high-risk behavior that was discovered was the prevalence of intimate partner violence.

In a psychological view, this can often happen because of the stress a partner is feeling towards

the transition. This can often lead to other high-risk behaviors and can undermine the structure of

a relationship. “When couples experience acute stress, they tend to report higher levels of

problems in a marriage, communication difficulties, and a tendency to blame their partner for

negative events.” (Cornelius & Sullivan, 2009). The way a couple is able to adapt to this

transition can help identify how they transition to parenthood.

Who is to Blame for the Distress?

Over the years, we hear older couples mention that children cause many issues within a

marriage. Usually those issues are centered on stress and marital dissatisfaction which create a

dip in a marriage. But this dip is only temporary and should be expected as you start to adjust to

the new changes. As Dr. Phillip and Carolyn Cowan said, “We believe that children are getting

an unfair share of the blame for their parents’ distress… We are convinced that the seeds of new

parents' individual and marital problems are sown long before their first child arrives.” (Cowan

& Cowan, 1992). I never thought about this before, but it is very true, if a marriage is strong, it

will remain strong after children arrive.

The Psychological Effects of the Transition to Parenthood

The transition to parenthood increases the vulnerability to any psychological disorders.

The main psychological disorders include postpartum depression and parenting distress. “ In the

United States, 1 in 7 women may experience PPD (Postpartum Depression) in the first year after

giving birth.” (Kimberly Langdon MD, 2019).Postpartum depression does not only affect

mothers but also fathers. Half of men who have partners with Postpartum depression will go
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through depression themselves, which is close to 10% of new fathers. These changes occur

because of the physical changes after birth and any family history of depression. When a couple

experiences postpartum depression, it can affect the children’s mental and physical well-being.

Before your child is born, make sure to speak with your partner and discuss ways that you will

handle the upcoming challenges.

How Depression Affects Children

Although many psychological disorders come after giving birth, what occurs when

women are suffering from depression before becoming pregnant? It becomes difficult for them to

adjust to parenthood and the nurturing of another human. In an article from the Department of

Psychological and Educational Sciences at the University of Palermo it states, “The interaction

between a child and his depressive mother can be pathologically intrusive or detached.”

(Epifanio et al., 2010). During that time, a mother might not be able to meet the daily child

management which can cause serious consequences on child development that vary depending

on the child’s age.

Parenting Distress

Parenting distress occurs more when a couple is having their first child or child with a

disorder. During the birth of the first child, parents can experience parenting distress because

they are unsure what they should do and how to raise their child. When a couple has a child with

a disorder, factors of parenting stress could include worry, guilt, sadness, fatigue,

embarrassment, resentment, and anger directed toward the child. These have been described as

indications of the subjective dimension of distress (Brannan & Heflinger, 2001). During the

times of distress, parents can look for different programs or individuals that can aid them. “ In

particular, Belsky’s (1984) model of the determinants of parenting identified contextual sources
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of support, including the parents’ social networks -e.g., friends, neighbors, relatives-, as

important influences on parental adjustment.” (Bartholomew et al., 2012).

Other Changes During the Transition to Parenthood

During the transition to parenthood, there are many areas that could possibly change

including physical health, social life, work life, communication, and many more. When it comes

to physical health, the transition into parenthood can cause lack of sleep, not being able to take

care of one’s personal needs, and etc. Parents need to discuss ways they can help each other.

During the transition, parents tend to get ill because of the lack of proper care for themselves.

Their social life is a part that often changes as well. Parents are not able to go out as much as

they did before. During this stage, parents tend to grow stronger connections with friends who

have children. The work life is changed tremendously because parents need schedules that allow

them to be with their children and provide income necessary to support the family. With work

hours decreasing, it can bring more stress to a family. Communication is the main thing that can

change during transition. Parents need to communicate expectations they have including house

work and expectations on how life is going to be with a child. Although setting expectations can

bring postpartum depression after birth, if you have any expectations it should be discussed with

your spouse.

The Marriage Moments Program

There are many resources that can help during the transition into parenthood. In a

Brigham Young University (2006) article, they discussed The Marriage Moments Program,

which is designed to prevent relationship deterioration during the first year of parenthood.

(Journal of Psychology, 2006). This program is supposed to help emphasize strengthening

martial virtues and partnership within the transition. This program is absolutely amazing and has
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a focus that can help so many people. BYU conducted a study with one hundred and fifty-five

married couples. Those couples were from different backgrounds, races, religion, and age

groups, so they did not specifically focus on just the Latter-day Saints population. The couples

were not asked about income because they were young college students. During the study, one

group received encouragement for completing the childbirth classes while the second group did

not. “This different treatment procedure was included in the design to test whether childbirth

educators’ involvement was essential to the intervention or whether simply putting educational

materials directly into the hands of transitioning couples would be sufficient..” (Hawkins et al.,

2006). The results showed higher levels of participation from couples who had the involvement

of an educator rather than those who received the educational materials directly. The Marriage

Moments Program was designed to help normalize the transition into parenthood and help

understand the challenges. This program helps strengthen family marital virtues, friendship

within a marriage through a shared vision of life and important life goals. During the primary

analyses, “The overall goal of the Marriage Moments Program was to prevent relationship

deterioration during the transition to parenthood.”(Hawkins et al., 2006).

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References

Bartholomew, M. K. (2012, July). New Parent’s Facebook Use at the Transition to

Parenthood. Retrieved October 15, 2020, from

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3650729/

Cornelius, T.L., & Sullivan, K.T. (2009). Transition to marriage. In H.T. Reis and S.

Sprecher (Eds.) Encyclopedia of Human Relationships (pp. 1052-1055). Sage Publications, Inc.

Deave, T. (2008, July 29). Transition to parenthood: The needs of parents in pregnancy

and early parenthood. Retrieved October 13, 2020, from

https://bmcpregnancychildbirth.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/1471-2393-8-30

Epifanio, M. S. (2015, June 24). Paternal and Maternal Transition to Parenthood: The

Risk of Postpartum Depression and Parenting Stress. Retrieved October 13, 2020, from

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/26266033/
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Feinberg, M. E. (2002, September). Coparenting and the Transition to Parenthood : A

Framework for Prevention. Retrieved October 13, 2020, from

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3161510/

Feldman, R. (2000). Parents’ convergence on sharing and marital satisfaction, father

involvement, and parent-child relationship at the transition to parenthood. Infant Mental Health

Journal, 21(3), 176–191. Retrieved from https://ruthfeldmanlab.com/wp-

content/uploads/2019/06/father-involvement.IMHJ_.2000.pdf

Hawkins, A. J., Fawcett, E. B., Carroll, J. S., & Gilliland, T. T. (2006). The marriage

moments program for couples transitioning to parenthood: Divergent conclusions from formative

and outcome evaluation data. Journal of Family Psychology, 20(4), 561–570. Retrieved from

https://scholarsarchive.byu.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=5194&context=facpub

Hofferth, S. L., & Goldscheider, F. (2010, May 1). Family structure and the transition to

early parenthood. Retrieved October 15, 2020, from

https://europepmc.org/article/pmc/pmc3000024
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Keizer, R., Dykstra, P. A., & Poortman, A. R. (2010). The Transition to Parenthood and

Well-being: The Impact of Partner Status and Work Hour Transitions. Journal of Family and

Psychology, 24, 429–438. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0020414

Kuersten-Hogan, R. (2020, October 15). Bridging the Gap across the Transition to

Coparenthood: Triadic Interactions and Coparenting Representations from Pregnancy through 12

Months Postpartum. Retrieved October 15, 2020, from

https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2017.00475/full

McDaniel, B., Lopez, S., & Holmes, E. (2010). Factors that Affect Marital Satisfaction

Across the Transition to Fatherhood. The BYU Undergraduate Journal in Psychology, 6(1), 9–

18. Retrieved from https://scholarsarchive.byu.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?

article=1091&context=intuition

Transition to Parenthood | Prenatal Education. (n.d.). Retrieved October 13, 2020, from

https://www.ontarioprenataleducation.ca/transition-to-parenthood/