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BROWSE > HOME / ANXIETY, HOW TOAWAKEN, KEY ARTICLES, MEDITATION, RELEASE / HOW TO RELEASE BIG
W EL C O M E!
AND SMALL EMOTIONS (RELEASE)
How do we free ourselves from the past, from
depression and anxiety, from the unease of
How to Release Big and Small Emotions (Release) 30 being which most of us experience?

This is a beautiful technique that’s as The joy of being is in the clarity of our own
effective as it is simple. That’s because awareness, right here and right now.
it’s very natural. We knew it as children
but have forgotten how to use it. PLEASE DONATE
It works right away with emotions, but I am happy to accept donations from people
once you have some practice with it, you who have been helped by these writings!
can use if just as well for thoughts and
beliefs, and for releasing emotional
baggage around desires.
It helps to understand the structure of
emotions. If we were fully functioning organisms, a feeling would simply be a transient
message about something going on right now, and we would feel it as a quick ripple. That’s
a feeling. An emotion, however, is a pattern, and it is remembered and it accumulates
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energy, leaving a deeper groove each time it is experienced, and it may or may not be
about something happening right now. Emotions can come up as a response to Enter email address:
circumstances, but more often, they come up as a response to thoughts. An emotion is an
energized thought, and it always starts as sensations in the body. This is obvious with
strong emotions like anger or anxiety. Anger starts off with muscular contraction, an Subscribe
increase in adrenaline, temperature, heartbeat and blood pressure, and a hotness in the
face. Anxiety may start as sensations in the belly. Even the smallest of emotions starts as a
sensation, though we may not be sensitive to the sensations. The sensations start up, and
they trigger an associated thought-story. With negative emotions, the associated thought- RSS Feed
story is usually in voice of the inner critic. The thoughts and sensations then get into a
feedback loop, energizing each other, and the emotion gathers up a storm.
You will notice that with negative emotions, the first thing we do is contract. We mentally
resist and physically contract our bodies, in anticipation how bad it’s going to feel.
You may also notice the paradox of negative emotions. Emotions promise to hold off the
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very thing they give us. Fear says I am trying to keep you safe. Anxiety says I am trying to
give you the security you need. Anger says you are not liking what is happening. Hurt says
you will feel bad if you don’t pay attention to me.
In Asia, they use this clever trick to catch monkeys. There is a circular shackle or a hole
through which the monkey puts her hand to grab a banana on the other side. The hole is
just big enough to let in an open hand, but not big enough to let out a fisted hand. The Stumble up!
monkey cannot get her hand out if she holds on to the banana. This is exactly what we do
with emotions. We grasp them. All we have to do is open our hands to release.
Here’s a quick experiment to show how this technique works. Make a fist and squeeze it
hard as if you’re holding on to something, and keep squeezing. What does that feel like—a
little uncomfortable? Perhaps it feels a little strange, but if you keep squeezing the BOOKS
strangeness goes away. It’s still uncomfortable but secure and automatic. Emotions in the

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strangeness goes away. It’s still uncomfortable but secure and automatic. Emotions in the
same way are uncomfortable and automatic. And releasing emotions is as easy as opening
your hand.
The technique is adapted from the Sedona method’s basic technique. It is a series of
questions, which we answer very quickly. The questions in themselves are not important
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nor are the answers. The questions help us stop, look, and be aware of what’s going on,
and they help us re-learn what we have always known: that it is easy and instant to release
any emotion. Ask and answer these questions quickly. No matter what the answer is, move
on to the next question. Soon they will become non-verbal. With practice the questions
disappear and releasing becomes automatic.
When you experience an emotion, big or small:
Can I make a lot of space for this emotion?
Am I able to let it go?
Let it go
It’s easy to remember as space/can I/let go.
What are you feeling right now? You don’t have to label it, and it doesn’t have to be a big
emotion.
Can you allow the emotion? See if you can allow the emotion without resistance. Make a
lot of space for the emotion in the body. Don’t contract. Don’t resist. Welcome the
emotion, allow it, and love it. Then, make even more space for it. If you don’t think you can
welcome the emotion, it’s perfectly fine. Move on quickly no matter what happens.
Are you able to let the emotion go? You don’t have to let it go, the question is: are you
able to? It’s okay if the answer is no. Just continue.
Are you willing to let it go? Move on, no matter what you answer.
Let it go now. It helps to sigh, or exhale long and easy while letting go.
Instead of questions, you can make them into statements, something similar to:
I am making space for this emotion.
I can let this emotion go.
I am letting it go Now.
With practice the technique becomes non-verbal and natural and technique-less. You will
notice a sensation in the body, make space for it by not contracting, and release it.
The mind will immediately question whether this will work. “It’s too simple.” “If I knew how to
let go of emotions, I would have done it already.” “How can this work?” “What is the
mechanism?” “I can’t use this until I understand more.”
The answer is just to try it a few times. If you feel you are not able to let go of the emotion,
don’t worry about it. Try it anyway. Keep trying. My experience first was with the Sedona
method of releasing. I tried it with anxiety, several times a day for about two or three
weeks. I didn’t think it was really working, and one day I realized I had not felt anxiety for
several days. With practice the technique became instant and non-verbal.
Why does this work? Well, first, it is very natural. Second, we are bringing emotions back
to their true function of feeling-message by interrupting the association with thought-
stories. Also, we naturally develop equanimity with this method. After all, what we are
experiencing is just a body sensation. And finally, we are breaking the false identification
with the whole pattern of body sensation and thought-story.

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BY KAUSHIK ON MARCH 18, 2009

FILED UNDER ANXIETY, HOW TOAWAKEN, KEY ARTICLES, MEDITATION, RELEASE ·
TAGGED WITH ANGER, DEPRESSION, EFFORTLESS MEDITATION, EMOTION, FEAR, HOW TOAWAKEN,
RECOVERY, RELEASE, SADNESS

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30 brilliant responses to “How to Release Big and Small Emotions (Release)”

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Ken says:
March 20, 2009 at 2:41 AM

just gets better and better kaush!!! keep it up

Reply

Kaushik says:
March 20, 2009 at 8:28 AM

Thanks, Ken!!
Reply

Cindy Albaugh says:

March 29, 2009 at 1:05 PM

I find if I add action to thought its more efective.Literaly open up your front
door and kick the negative out . Then Say you are not to return.
Reply

Kaushik says:
March 29, 2009 at 1:28 PM

Hi Cindy,
That sounds like an effective technique. It’s all about fully experiencing the thought
and emotion and then releasing it.
Reply

Platypus says:
March 31, 2009 at 10:41 PM

The emotion I thought of was sadness. My stray kitty looks at me and cries
through the glass doors leading to the lanai. I can’t let her in because she has
leukemia and she can’t infect my other kitties.
I really tried to let the emotion go – I know I’m doing the best I can for her – but I kept
thinking it wasn’t right to let it go, and that I should feel FOR HER. Like it’s not fair to let
the emotion go because it dismisses what she is feeling…
Reply

Kaushik says:
March 31, 2009 at 11:52 PM

The kitty is lucky to have you as a mother. Grief is wholly natural. You can
release the pain of it, and when you do, what’s left is love.
Reply

Patti says:
March 31, 2009 at 10:42 PM

By the way, I totally feel like a celebrity! Thanks for the picture I love you!!
<3
Reply

Kaushik says:
March 31, 2009 at 11:51 PM

It’s the effervescence! You don’t look much different now, twenty years

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 hence….
Reply

Sarah says:
April 26, 2009 at 6:35 PM

Please write in my blog! Just posted two topics on healing~~ Thank you for
this wonderful blog! I believe that releasing emotions is very necessary as well as
powerful! Namaste, Coach Sarah http://www.raincoaching.com/blog
Reply

Trisha says:
April 28, 2009 at 8:28 PM

You’re right…when you let go of grief, love is all that’s left. So this begs the
question…are we letting go of ALL emotion? Or just the uncomfortable ones??
Reply

Kaushik says:
April 28, 2009 at 8:50 PM

My experience is that feelings never go away. Feelings which are body

sensations–messages from the mind-body–intuition if you want to call it that. They
are transient–short-lived ripples in the body. They turn into ‘emotions’ when the
mind takes these feelings and associates them with thought-stories and the past. A
feedback pattern is created, so that the mind-story energizes the sensation and
sensations energize the mind-story. The whole pattern is remembered so it is
stronger with each iteration.
I believe when we let go emotions, we are bringing emotions back to their true
function of feeling-message, so that they don’t leave traces.
Love is not an emotion. It’s simply our natural state. When all fear is gone, there is
just love.
Your experience may be very different. The point is here is that with this technique,
it’s been easy and quick to release anxiety and fear. It’s so very simple, that the
mind initially will say this can’t possibly work. But it does!
Reply

prasad says:
May 5, 2009 at 5:35 AM

Hi,
This is very simple even as compared to sedona method. It really works. The beauty of
it is simple and uncomplicated.I think if it is consistently applied to deeper emptions ,
this give a effective release.
Prasad
Reply

Kaushik says:
May 5, 2009 at 8:56 AM

Thanks, Prasad. Yes, it’s simpler than the Sedona method, and this takes
about five seconds to do. For me, it was the end of anxiety forever! Have you tried
it?
Reply

Lac Erta says:

May 21, 2009 at 3:08 PM

But how do you deal with the life situation the thought of which originally had
given you the anxiety. Now, when the anxiety’s gone, the life’s situation is still remaining

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to be dealt with.
What I found is that in some cases an anxiety helps me to deal with a life’s situation.
For instance, I have to look for a job but I don’t want to and instead I spend my time by
enjoying being awakened to a much better extent than it used to be when I was going
to job every day. But from time to time I am getting anxiety attacks related to the fear of
future that force me to start acting in a way such as sending resumes, making
enquiries, etc. The whole process is so unpleasing and the whole perspective of
slaving yourself at a job that you hate is so depressing , too, that the only state in
which I can force myself to function is the state of anxiety.
It looks like an anxiety is an important part of the existence. At least, as a safety valve
to protect us from laziness.
Reply

Kaushik says:
May 21, 2009 at 3:40 PM

Hi Lac,
What a wonderful question! You’ve given me an idea for an article. I’ll try to address
it here as well.
You point out the classic workings of dualism. The mind is dualistic and thinks only
in opposites. The mind says, with anxiety I am motivated, so without anxiety I will be
completely unproductive!
It hasn’t worked that way in my experience. I have no anxiety at all–no past, no
future. I am far more productive than I ever was. There is no worry, no doubt–just
intention and action. I don’t know if this can be understood intellectually. It has to be
experienced.
I call these fears the second obstacle. It is the ego’s fear of awakening, and it shows
up in various ways:
-I will be lazy if I awaken
-I will lose all interest in worldly things
-I will become emotion-less
-How can I possibly get by without thoughts?
-How can I really know happiness if there is no pain in my life?
-What’s the point of living without pain (this is a strange one, but we all have this in
us–this peculiar attraction we have to suffering).
It can also show up as a “spiritualized” ego, where the goal is not awakening, but
the intellectual or spiritual study of awakening. It can show up as intellectualizing a
process that the intellect cannot possibly understand.
Perhaps you or other readers can add to this list.
Can we simply allow these fears, fully experience them, and let them go?
-
Reply

Lac Erta says:

May 21, 2009 at 4:04 PM

I think I have to clarify my comment. When I am present, I realize how

pointless it is for me to look for a job in an industry where I have worked for 20 years
but at which being present and successful are mutually exclusive states. At the moment
of such realization I don’t feel any anxiety or fear; it rather feels good, you are present,
you see things for what they are. And you are happy. You don’t feel guilty. You are
enjoying of being awakened. It is a wonderful feeling, a bliss.
And the life goes on, and you have to pay the bills. And you have to start acting,
otherwise…
What I found, the only real stick that can make me moving is the fear of future that
manifests itself as an anxiety. Otherwise I will not be acting. But then, the whole result
acting is becoming spoiled because I acted out of anxiety.
What a vicious circle!
Reply

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 Kaushik says:
May 21, 2009 at 9:42 PM

Hi Lac,
I understand. I don’t have an answer that satisfies intellectually. While awakening, I
have gone through emotional turmoil and anxiety, and when I discovered how to
release these, instantly, what was left was apathy and detachment. I think old
drivers and motivation fall away, but natural intention has not yet surfaced. It does,
and then action comes about very naturally.
Reply

Brando McGregor says:

February 25, 2010 at 11:47 AM

Wow thank you for this. I have been dealing with anxiety on and off for most
of my life. During the times when I am anxiety free I am completely in sync and
functioning. When I am anxious though I become hyper aware of my body and begin to
fill my head with very pessimistic thoughts. I become a prisoner of my body and my
feelings. And I become annoyed by existence itself. A feeling like I just want to stay in
bed and stop.
I came up with something similar to the sedona method…embracing the feeling and
then moving on. I got this from various websites but this website really puts everything
into wonderful perspective.
I have been meditating a lot and have been realizing that I really need to love myself.
My anxiety is trying to protect me from myself but it is actually imprisoning me.
What I would like to know….this is a habit I have…when I am feeling wonderful I have a
habit of saying to myself…”wait a minute…how can i be feeling this good when just a
few days ago i was feeling like hell? how did my anxiety go away so fast. There’s no
way i can be cured. Last time it took this many days to overcome. Theres no way…”
and so I start to check to see if its there. And if its not there…i tend to focus and focus
…like picking at a scab or scar…until I feel it again. THen i go through the entire cycle
of trying to conquer it again.
I am trying to learn how, once i have conquered my anxiety, how to keep myself from
“second guessing” myself and rechecking and rehashing the same anxiety. How do i
stop this cycle of anxiety, curing the anxiety, checking to see if its still there, recreating
it and then fighting it all over again? It’s so exhausting.
I am meditating and learning about the flow of love. Loving myself. But i want to learn
how to….keep my mind from revisiting old wounds and always constantly doubting my
well being.
Reply

Kaushik says:
February 25, 2010 at 1:49 PM

Hi Brando,
Yes, anxiety is debilitating. When I had anxiety, I would usually experience it in the
mornings intensely for an hour or so, and then at a little less intensely at various
periods in the day.
This method, and the Sedona Method and other release techniques work in the
same way: you completely allow what you are feeling and you let it go. We are not
able to see that we can let these emotions go easily and completely because we
are too busy resisting them.
The habit of saying “wait a minute…how is the even possible that I can let go of
anxiety…”–this is a common feeling. The intellectual mind and the ego want to
understand. I think it may be that it is hard for us to accept that anxiety and other
stored emotions don’t have any reality except the one we give them. How is it that
something that has caused me so much misery never actually existed?
When you feel that way, allow it. What you may be feeling with it, is some fear that
this may come back, and in that case, completely allow the fear and let it go.
Yes, sometimes it is exhausting. Awakening is like that–it ebbs and flows, and
sometimes the ebbs seem like real downers. As you have said: Love yourself, allow,
be patient, continue to be aware (meditate), continue to release.
love and peace,

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 k
Reply

Brando McGregor says:

February 25, 2010 at 9:43 PM

Kaushick I thank you so much I am definitely coming to this website often.

Everything I have gone through I have gone through before. But sometimes rather than
remember that it all goes away i focus on the struggle. and feel like i cannot control my
mind. I have been modifying my habit to check and looking at it as something trying to
protect me. I thank it and then tell it I no longer need it. I am fine with my spirit
protecting me. I do not need the ego to protect me.
Reply

Kaushik says:
February 25, 2010 at 10:07 PM

Brando, that’s a wonderful way to handle it. Thanks for sharing the tip–it
can help others.
love and peace,
k
Reply

Iana says:
April 6, 2010 at 9:13 AM

Hi Kaushik,
Wonderful website, I have been using your techniques, and it has helped a lot.
I am worried about one thing, I still don’t know what I want, mostly professionally. I would
like to work with passion, but I think I have been doing what I had to do for so long that I
can’t hear myself anymore.
Maybe you could do this your next article
Reply

Kaushik says:
April 6, 2010 at 11:39 AM

Thank you, Iana. It is always nice to get feedback on the techniques.

It’s interesting you ask about passion. We want passion, purpose, positive thinking
and all their cousins for the same reason. With purpose, life seems more fun, closer
to Truth, more energetic, more purposeful, and making decisions is easier and of
course we get a lot of validation.
The trouble is that most of our thoughts are in service to the ego, which is the
thoughts and feelings we take ourselves to be. Passion, positive thinking, and even
spiritual advancement are stories of the ego–stories driven by desires and fear and
conditioning. So we strive and chase passion and positive thinking, and we need
our stories to go in certain ways.
In my experience, as I release, and develop awareness, there is an inner peace and
acceptance, in which passion is sometimes invited.
You’re right, I will write more about this in an article.
I hope you are doing well!
love and peace,
k
Reply

Vera says:
May 3, 2010 at 12:10 PM

This article is wonderful. I have found that I have developed intense anxiety,

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living in my own thoughts and self-judgment, as i grow up. I am beginning to try
“awakening” techniques that bring me back to the simple enjoyments of adolescence
and childhood, when you didn’t question everything, you just let it flow, you let love in
without being afraid of it. It’s very hard… But seem to slowly be working! Thank you.
I just had a question about this technique though. It works well when anxiety is only
related to YOURSELF. What about when the anxiety you experience is a product of
pain from SOMEONE ELSE, a relationship past that has not been settled in real life, so
how can it be settled within yourself? I am able to release my PERSONAL feeling of
pain, but then there is still something unresolved attached to this other person that
begins the anxiety cycle all over again. so once you rid of the feeling, how to deal with
the real life problem causing it.
xo:)
Reply

Kaushik says:
May 3, 2010 at 12:56 PM

Hi Vera,
Thanks for the wonderful comment, and you ask a very important question.
Relationships seem to be the ego’s favorite playground and many of us find
resistance there. In the type of scenario you describe, there can be unresolved
pain which can last quite some time. There is longing, a need to be heard, a wish to
forget, compulsive thinking, obsessive stories running in the head, and so on.
See it as an opportunity. As the Dalai Lama says, when you don’t get what you
want, it’s sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.
I have written here about how to deal with the pain of ended relationships.
The Sedona method can be helpful. It asks to see that much of our conditioned
suffering comes from the need for approval, the need for security, the need for
control, and the need to awaken.
Other resources I can suggest: The Sedona Method, EFT, Eckhart Tolle,
greatfreedom.org, Byron Katie…(see External Resources page).
Any amount of pain is simply resistance. Anxiety is anxiety whether it is about “me”
or someone else–it is all body-sensations connected to thought-stories. We can
learn to let go, and releasing gets easier and easier and easier…
love and peace,
k
Reply

nichola says:
August 30, 2010 at 6:26 AM

i dont know if this will sound a little silly but i will try and express as well as
possible. I am aware that i emotion is there…usually is the form of anxiety, unease, etc
and with this tends to be obsessive thoughts that bring on anxiety etc….and so on a
certain level practicing awareness and meditation i have learnt that when my thoughts
are not as active/ thinking of certain situations i am not ‘feeling; the
emotion….however..at the same time, i am still somewhat aware and this brings double
anxiety, that all i have to do is have this or that thought and the emotion/feelings will
return and i will once again be there again….so for me its like they are always there,
even when they are not (hope this is making sense).
Now when you say feel/ accept the emotion i feel scared…thinking, well i dont want to
feel it again, i want it to go….and i=how do i JUST feel it without all my painful thoughts
attaching to it? can i feel the emotion without the thoughts? if so how?
Thank you and i hope i am clear enough for you to offer some help x
nichola
Reply

Kaushik says:
August 30, 2010 at 11:04 AM

HI Nichola,

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 I do understand. For years, I had on and off episodes of depression and anxiety.
During the times that I felt ‘normal’ there was always an underlying anxiety that this
will not last. The fear is that at any time, because of some life event or interruption
in schedule or perhaps no reason at all, the whole thing will collapse. And of course
this is re-enforced, because it seems that the fear does come true.
If you notice in yourself, what you are doing is suppressing thoughts and emotions
you have about your anxiety. You are suppressing the anxiety about having anxiety
again. This is normal and common.
Accept that the underlying fear exists. It is no different from higher-level anxiety you
have. You can work on releasing this anxiety in the same way.
It’s helpful to remember that anxiety–any emotion in fact–is an association between
thought and body-sensations. When the thought is very subtle, we feel this as an
emotion. When the body-sensations are very subtle, we feel this as emotional
thoughts. So the anxiety you about having anxiety is also an association of some
thoughts and some body-sensations. Nothing more. You can be present to it, watch
it, and ask yourself to let it go.
I hope this helps.
Thanks for bringing up a very important point.
light and peace,
k
Reply

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