WRITING THESIS STATEMENTS WTG II/3

WHAT IS A THESIS STATEMENT?

A thesis statement:
 Tells the reader how you will interpret the significance of the subject matter under
discussion.
 Is a road map for the paper; in other words, it tells the reader what to expect from the
rest of the paper.
 Directly answers the question asked of you. A thesis is an interpretation of a question
or subject, not the subject itself. The subject, or topic, of an essay might be World
War II or Desert Warfare; a thesis must then offer a way to understand the topic.
 Makes a claim that others might dispute.
 Is usually a single sentence somewhere in your first paragraph that presents your
argument to the reader. The rest of the paper, the body of the essay, gathers and
organizes evidence that will persuade the reader of the logic of your interpretation.

A STRONG THESIS:
 Answers the question. The thesis must specifically address the question that prompts
the task.
 Takes a position that others might challenge or oppose. If the thesis simply states
facts that no one would, or even could, disagree with, it is possible that you are simply
providing a summary, rather than making an argument.
 Is specific enough. Thesis statements that are too vague often do not have a strong
argument. If the thesis contains words like “beneficial” or “successful”, make it more
specific: why is something “beneficial”?; what specifically makes something
“successful”?
 Passes the “So what?” test. If a reader’s first response is, “So what?” then the thesis
needs to be more clear and connect to a larger issue.
 Passes the “how and why” test. If a reader's first response is “how?” or “why?” the
thesis may be too open-ended and lack guidance for the reader. Reformulate it so as to
give the reader a better take on your position right from the beginning.
 Is supported by the ensuing arguments. If the thesis and the body of the essay do not
seem to go together, one of them has to change. It is totally acceptable to change the
working thesis to reflect things that have been discovered in the course of writing.

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WEAK VS. STRONG THESIS STATEMENTS

Example task 1: Compare and contrast the reasons why the North and South fought the Civil War.

The North and South fought the Civil War for many reasons, WEAK thesis
some of which were the same and some different.

This is an example of a weak thesis because it restates the task without providing any
additional information. It is too general and ambiguous and does not indicate the specific
reasons or the manner in which they differ.

To make it more specific, compare Northern and Southern attitudes (e.g. “The South believed
slavery was right, and the North thought slavery was wrong”). Now, push your comparison
toward an interpretation: why did one side think slavery was right and the other side thought it
was wrong? Based on this difference, you can now argue that the North believed slavery was
immoral while the South believed it upheld the Southern way of life.

While both sides fought the Civil War over the issue of
STRONG thesis
slavery, the North fought for moral reasons while the South
fought to preserve its own institutions.

This is a strong working thesis. It includes the reason for the war and an indication of how the
two sides disagreed over this reason. In developing the answer, begin to characterize these
differences more precisely, in order to support the statement in the thesis.

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Example task 2: Sometimes businesses invade our privacy by aggressively advertising their
products and services online, intervening with pop-up web pages and micro-targeting individual
preferences while we are simply navigating on the internet, searching for information or checking
social media. What is your opinion about the practice of online marketing?

Companies need to exploit the marketing potential of the

WEAK thesis
Internet, and web pages can provide both advertising and
customer support.

This is a weak thesis statement. It does not answer the question: first of all, it does not state
the opinion of the writer; secondly, the reader cannot identify the issue under discussion –
will be about marketing on the Internet or web pages?

To make it effective, the relationship between the two ideas needs to become clearer while the
opinion on the issue must be stated unequivocally from the very beginning.

Because the Internet has tremendous marketing potential,

companies should exploit this potential by using web pages
that offer both advertising and customer support. In my STRONG thesis
opinion, online marketing is beneficial for both the business
and the internet user.

This is a strong thesis because it connects the two ideas (marketing and internet) and
expresses the opinion of the writer. The reader expects to read an argumentation in support of
the belief that online marketing has benefits.

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FIVE ERRORS TO AVOID WHEN COMPOSING A THESIS STATEMENT

1. A thesis cannot be a fragment; it must be expressed in a sentence.

Poor: How life is a racial ghetto.
Better: Residents of a racial ghetto tend to have higher death rates, higher disease
rates, and higher psychosis rates than do any other residents of American cities.

2. A thesis must not be in the form of a question. (The answer to the question is the thesis).
Poor: Should eighteen year olds have the right to vote?
Better: Anyone who is old enough to fight a war, conduct business legally, or
marry is old enough to vote.

3. A thesis must be expressed in general language (abstract notions and concepts).

Poor: Bad things have resulted from religion being taught in the classroom.
Better: Religion, as part of the school curriculum, should be avoided because it is
a highly personal and individual commitment.

4. A thesis must be expressed in coherent language.

Poor: Homosexuality is a status offense because the participants are willing so
that the relationship is voluntary in character rather than the type described in a
victim-perpetrator model.
Better: When participants in a homosexual act are consenting adults,
homosexuality should be considered a status rather than a criminal offense.

5. A thesis should not be written in figurative language.

Poor: Religion is the phoenix bird of civilization.
Better: As long as humans can conceive the idea of a God, religion will rise to give
us a spiritual reason for existence.

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Transform the following topic sentences into a thesis statement:

E.g. NATO countries should be given a choice on how much money to spend for collective
defense.
(DEFINTION OF THE ISSUE) Every military alliance entails a range of commitments
across all areas involved, be they financial, military, or political. The principle of collective
defense in NATO is based on member states’ agreement to honor their commitments.
(OPINION) However, I consider that NATO countries should be given a choice on how
much money to spend for collective defense because of the following reasons.

1. Home schooling is a better alternative to traditional education.

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2. The worldwide spread of technology has lead to social alienation.

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3. Speaking the same language worldwide would lead to better international relations.
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4. Encouraging a competitive attitude in schools leads to better performance.
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5. It is better to be a member of a group than to be the leader of a group.
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