Assignment #1 – Selves Exercise

1. My SELF with cousin Miguel

 Goal/What a successful exchange is: Every time I have the opportunity to be with my cousin
my goal is to feel like he respects me. Him being 10 years older than me and having a very
successful life (well-paid job, very intelligent, always travelling) he always seems to rub this
thing in my face to show, somehow, some superiority. Apart from that, I always learn a lot
from him. I learn about different countries and their customs, politics, and most important
for me, the adaptation from studying in another country.

 Body language: I never had a close relationship with my cousin, and because of that I am
always a little bit “shy” around him. I feel like I act the opposite way, and my body language
shows it. I always have my shoulders up to show confidence, and I always use my hands
when I am talking.

 Speaking: Around him I try to speak louder than usual, I try to use big words, and I also talk
slow to make sure I am not making mistakes because I hate when he points out a mistake I
made.

 References/Greetings: I usually see myself referring to his favorite TV shows. Besides that, I
feel like I also use phrases that people with authority and credibility use. I always shake my
cousins’ hand firmly to show confidence. Sometimes we hug, but only in special days
(birthdays for example)

2. My SELF with my group of friends

 Goal/ What a successful exchange is: In my group of friends the goal is to feel like they are
enjoying and having a good time with me. Also, that they can trust me with their problems
and that they respect me. It’s a safe place to express my opinions and problems without
being considerate if I’m doing or saying something wrong. This is what I believe is a
successful exchange.

 Body language: I am always relaxed and confident around them.

 Speaking: I am always making jokes and laughing. I use big and small words, I talk either fast
or slow, and I am used to feel that I am a very accomplished person in my group of friends.

 References/Greetings: I usually use references about sports, my family, my experiences, TV

shows, and general knowledge. It’s always a party whenever we see each other.

Which is easier? My group of friends. I always have to measure the words I say with my cousin
making it hard to have a deep meaningful conversation.
Which is more compelling or engaging? My cousin. He always speaks about situations that I would
never speak with my friends. Due this little “rivalry” we are always speaking and asking each other
about philosophical questions. It is a lot more compelling with my cousin.

Which is more enjoyable? I would have to answer my group of friends. Even thought, the
conversations with my cousin are more compelling, they happen once or twice each 3 months. I
feel like we would run out of themes to talk if we talked more often.

Which self-do you like and respect more? I respect the self I am with my friends more because I
like to act relaxed and not being afraid to make a mistake.