Revision Matrix

Text from my initial A comment or

The change(s) I
WP submission: question I received How this change
made to what I
(Note which WP) (from impacts my paper:
initially wrote:
whom/where?)

WP1: Writing Project Allison: title? Green Hydrogen from I added a title for my
1 the Perspective of writing project 1
both Environmental assignment. By
Science and adding a title this
Economics. impacts my paper by
helping the reader be
aware of the topic.

WP1: While there Self Assessed Looking at two I removed a lot of the
have been major research articles from description of green
developments in the different hydrogen to introduce
sustainable and disciplines of the difference of
renewable energy in environmental writing conventions
the past decades there science and between each
is still a heavy economics, both discipline.
reliance on fossil being about green
fuels. Wind and solar hydrogen, we are able
energy are already to see similarities and
great sources of differences between
producing energy in the two.
the form of electricity
at a grid level, but
poor in sectors of
manufacturing and
shipping that require
high energy dense
fuel sources.

WP1: A look at how Allison: this thesis is Looking at two By changing the
the disciplines of not argumentative – it research articles from thesis of my paper the
environmental just states what the the different reader can identify
science and purpose of the paper disciplines of how the conventions
economics differently is. environmental of the two articles
discuss and convey science and convey the
the importance and economics, both differences and
use of green hydrogen being about green similarities between
will be explored hydrogen, we are able the disciplines
through two articles to see similarities and discussed in the
differences between paper.
the two. Similarities
and differences in
regards to how they
each discuss and
convey the matter of
green hydrogen
through the
conventions of their
respective disciplines
and communities.

WP1: There is, Self Assessed There is, however, Changing the
however, ever increasing wording makes it
increasing advancements in the sound much more
advancements in the production of concise.
production of a sustainable sources
sustainable source that are able to
that produces zero produce zero carbon,
carbon, known as with one being known
green hydrogen. as green hydrogen.

WP1: The audience Self Assessed Corrected who the By correcting it to the
that this article is audience is for the actual intended
directed towards article by Dincer audience I can
ranges from anyone properly discuss the
interested in the differences between
environment to those the two disciplines.
heavily interested in
environmental
science, specifically
the environmental
issue of a need for
more renewable and
sustainable energy in
the form of green
hydrogen that is
produced through
clean-green ways.

WP1: (Dincer, 2011). Allison: supposed to ...production”.1 I corrected the style

1
cite using Chicago- Dincer, Ibrahim. of citations to the
style footnotes, not “Green Methods for proper Chicago-style,
in-text parenthetical Hydrogen before I was using
citations Production.” MLA.
 International Journal
of Hydrogen Energy.
Pergamon, September
23, 2011.

WP1: Reworked the Allison: What is this I reworked the entire By reworking it
whole second paragraph arguing? it second paragraph as it entirely I was able to
paragraph seems like a summary essentially was a write a paragraph that
of the article summary of the connects to the goal
article that failed to of the paper, instead
properly achieve the of summarizing the
goal of the paper. research article.

WP1: The whole third Allison: multiple This paragraph had a Rewriting the third
paragraph conventions discussed bit more substance to paragraph helped me
in this paragraph but work with, as I had connect how the
what overarching ideas that I failed to conventions of the
point is this paragraph properly execute the first article contrasted
making? first time around. those of the second
article.

WP2: “Green Allison: stylistic “Green methods for This change in

methods for hydrogen issues (placement of hydrogen resolves the stylistic
production.”, punctuation in production,” issue that I had
relation to quotation several times
marks throughout my
reflection

WP2: Victoria Gill, Self Assessed. I changed the font This change fixed the
“Ozone Layer from size 10 to mechanical error of
'Rescued' from CFC standard size 12. the Chicago-style
Damage,” BBC News being smaller than it
(BBC, February 11, needed to be.
2021),
https://www.bbc.com/
news/science-
environment-
56014092.

WP2: Jonathan Self Assessed. I changed the heading I did this as it makes
Huaracha 1 style to Huaracha [#] the paper more
and moved it from the cohesive with the
left to the right. other essays included
 in the portfolio.

WP2: Added more Allison: explain your Another convention By adding more in
into my thoughts of thought process as that I saw used was depth explanation
why I translated the you translated in also some personal into why I translated
way I did. more dept input from the the way I did helps
journalist or author of the reader understand
the new article. I my processes.
think by adding
personal thoughts or
questions helps
humanize the
material.

WP2: In my actual Allison: Can also be I changed the Helps my translation

translation I added improved organization of some sound less like a
more personal input . organizationally to text and added more summary and
sound less like a personal words into captures the essence
summary of the my translation. of a newspaper more
article and to be put accurately.
into your own words
a little more.

WP2: Another Self Assessed. Made grammatical Makes the paper

convention used in corrections that I did sound more concise.
the heavy use of not notice before.
quotes.

WP2: Broke up run Allison: run-ons I had a lot of run on By correcting these
on sentences. sentences that made run on sentences I
the paper sound feel like my paper
choppy and I sounds more
corrected it the best cohesive.
of my abilities.