Академический Документы
Профессиональный Документы
Культура Документы
- Overcome Shyness and Social Anxiety (3.Sean Cooper, 1.Shyness And Social Anxie
ty, 2.Social Dynamix, 4.Overcoming Shyness)
1. What's shyness?
Shyness is exaggerated self-consciousness.
2. The myth of the shy gene
People do not become shy automatically when they are born, there is no shyness g
ene, people become shy because they've
learned to behave and act in a certain way, if it's break this way, the shyness
will be gone.
3. The truth about shyness
Shy is not a trait, it's only a way of acting, if you can act one way, that mean
s you can act another way too,
shy is a behavioral mode, so it's important to avoid the phrase "Im shy".
4. What's Social Anxiety?
People who experience social anxiety fear that other people
will think badly of them and believe that they are not as good as others.
This makes social situations very difficult or impossible for them.
Social anxiety goes beyond being shy. It goes beyond just being nervous when sta
nding in front of people. Social anxiety can bring on such intense fear of most
social situations. It is usually magnified when it comes to surroundings and env
ironments that are unfamiliar. A person suffering from social anxiety may feel t
hat everyone is judging and staring at them.
People who suffer from this tend to avoid any social situation that they may fee
l uncomfortable with. There is a fear of judgment or embarrassment in public. Th
e fear is usually the imagination at work, but the feeling of insecurity is ther
e even after the realization that your imagination is blowing things way out of
proportion.
5. What keeps social anxiety going?
social anxiety is linked to low self esteem and continues
because people hold long term beliefs that they are 'no good in social
situations'. These beliefs are never challenged because of avoidance safety
behaviours and self focusing when faced with social situations.
(THE TABLE P5)
6. Overcome Shyness and Social Anxiety
(Each person has its own level of shyness, some people get shy when they talk to
the opposite sex, other people get shy
when they talk to a stranger.
For curing and overcoming our shyness, firstly we should be aware of our shyness
process, when and how we be shy,
in which situations, what comes to our minds, our thoughts and our body language
.
Secondly after being aware of that, we'll do specefic techniques to change them.
)
- Get insight of your anxiety
. What situations do you get anxious or shy?
Meeting and talking to new people and to women, going to parties or going out al
one, to buy or anything, meeting and
talking with the family members I don't know well, talking to a group of people
,
. What are your thoughrs and worries?
People judge me and see me as bad and don't like me, people laughing at me, Im n
ot worthy, people are better
than me, people ignoring me, people reject me,
. What is your level of anxiety between 1-10?
4
.Do you have any physical reactions because of your anxiety?
Blush, touching my face, tight chest, butterflies, low voice, talk fastly, movin
g my feet rapidly
.What are other behaviors?
I like to avoid the situations so I always just wait it to finish and go away
- Get out of your habitual thought patter
. Make three separate columns
Event, Evidence, probability
or call it
Expectation, Fact, Realistic
.Event
1.Party marriage, People will focus on me and start looking and talk about me,
2.Store, they won't like me when I talk much
3.Family, they will judge me and focus on me and won't like me, and put pressure
on me
.Evidence
1.I already lived the same experience, Im fat and shy and not confident, Im a co
mplete stranger, Im not good, Im weird,
find out bad things about me and my personality
2.Im boring, I don't have anything interesting to say, they'll see me weird caus
e Im shy and speak slowly and Im
not confident, find out bad things about me and my personality
3.They'll know I don't do anything interesting in my life, no study and no work,
Im boring and don't know how to talk,
Im very shy and not confident, find out bad things about me and my personality
.Realistic
1.They won't care about me at all, they'll be attracted on me cause Im good look
ing, they'll smile at me and wanna know
more about me, they won't focus about me at all
2.They won't care about me at all, they won't focus about me at all
3.They will like and enjoy me, my personality and the way I talk, my inteligence
, everything about me, they'll be
attracted to me, they'll be happy
Look at how your mind try to focus on the worst scenarios that will never happen
! you only need to go a little far away
from your comfort zone.
.List down all the situations that make you feel shy or anxious, the most anxiou
s to the less anxious
.Schedule a time you'll do little steps with the easiest situation
Mindsets to have when you do that:
.Give yourself permission to fail
.Celebrate little victories
.Focus on the steps
.Reward yourself
- Talk slowly to yourself
.Keep calm
.Let yourself build up slowly
.Allow your brain to process what you are saying
.Practice reading slowly out loud
.Keeps your anxiety under control
- Observe your negative thoughts
.Be aware
.Say stop
.Find something interesting to think about
.Practice this throughout your day
- Next step
.Accept who you are
.Focus on your positive points
.Move around
.Listen to music
.Do what you got to do to put you in that state of mind
- Affirmations
- Visualize
- Breath slowly
- Stop expecting the worst and start expecting the best
- Stop paying attention to the things you don't want and focus on what you do wa
nt
- Focus on NOW and you won't have social anxiety
- Imagine the worst case scenario
.Write down three
.Close your eyes and imagine one of them now
.Over-exaggerate everything about it
Anxiety is what you feel when you think there might be a threat
Fear is what you feel when you know for certain there is a threat
- Self-esteem
. What's self-esteem?
It is a favorable impression of oneself.
. The difference between confidence and self-esteem
Confidence is a matter of being sure of yourself and self-esteem is a matter of
liking yourself