Chapter 2

Interpersonal Communication

--Vijai N. Giri
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Objectives

After completing this chapter, you will be able to

 Understand the communication basics and communication process.

 Understand myths about communication.

 Understand the importance of intrapersonal communication.

 Recognize different communication styles used in different situations with different

types of persons.

 Discuss the impact of gender on communication.

 Realize the importance of nonverbal communication.

 Identify gender differences in nonverbal communication.

 Learn the art of public speaking.

 Improve your communication skills.

Interpersonal communication is the sharing of feelings and ideas with other people.

Most interpersonal messages are informal exchanges in dyads - that is, two people in close

contact. The potential for sending, receiving, and evaluating messages is shared between

the two members of the dyad. The purpose of communication usually focuses on the

sharing of their ideas. Today, a great number of scholars study interpersonal

communication with a hope to generate information that will improve social interaction

and human relationships. They try hard to find solutions for communication problems.
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Proper communication behaviours may enhance our core relationships and help us achieve

our interpersonal goals.

Communication Basics
We are living in an age which is full of challenges and competitions. To the best of our

capabilities, we try to meet these challenges. A person might possess a number of good

qualities necessary for dealing with various problems of daily life, but may lack effective

communication abilities that might make his/her tasks difficult. It cannot be denied that an

individual's success or failure largely depends on his/her communicative abilities. We can

make our lives easier by understanding properly the different communication styles that

individuals adopt in different situations. Every culture prescribes different behaviours for

males and females. These differences start early in their lives and continue throughout in

one form or the other (Hyde & Rosenberg, 1980). In most cultures, it is generally observed

that males are expected to be more aggressive, assertive and achievement-oriented, while

females are expected to be more nuturant, sensitive and responsible. Each culture has a set

of institutional structures and practices to teach sex roles. With the changing time, the

socio-economic conditions of men and women are also changing. The effect of these

changes is evident in the roles of males and females in our society, which is clearly

reflected in the communicative behaviours of both the sexes. In a cross-cultural study on

sex role, Sethi and Allen (1996, p.107) have stated, "Indian women - even those with

higher education and technical training - gravitate towards service profession, while their

male counterparts are more likely to develop careers involving technical or political

leadership. Perhaps Indian culture highly values a number of traits in both the sexes, but

attributes higher status to a male displaying these traits".

In another study on the status of women and children in Indian society, it has been

found that male children are more valued than female children, and they are socialized in
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different ways. Female children are still considered an economic liability to the family, not

only until they are married but to some extent throughout their lives. The socialization

process emphasizes modesty and adaptation for females, while it teaches male children to

be aggressive, assertive, superior and independent (Nanda, 1976). Further, Rao and Rao

(1996) observed, "Although tremendous changes are taking place in India, they have left

the institution of family untouched. People are still traditional and have not accepted

egalitarian relations in the family" (p. 123). Thus, it is clear that our society is changing

very fast but the ideas and cultural values are not changing as rapidly as they appear to be.

This is true of our interpersonal communication as well.

We learn many things by interacting with various kinds of people we meet in our day-

to-day lives. It is believed that good communication ability is essential to lead a

meaningful and successful life. We often forget that we must work to make

communication pleasant and effective. When we ignore important aspects of

communication, we are inviting a number of problems in our daily lives ranging from hurt

feelings between friends to wars between nations. Since success or failure in many careers

and human endeavour is largely determined by how well one communicates, the subject of

communication should be a vital part of our education. The knowledge of practical

communication competence is an essential personal asset for teachers, social workers,

businesspersons, politicians and perhaps for people in all occupations. Today, effective

communication has become a prerequisite for success for everybody in this increasingly

hectic and competitive world. Communication is pervasive and important; people shape it

and it shapes them. It is assumed that most people want to learn more about this vital

aspect of human behaviour. As a result, researchers in this field have been trying to give

new and better ideas to cope with the complex situation in our day-to-day lives.
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Communication Defined
Communication has been defined in several ways since people have different

conceptions about it. The term 'communication' comes from the Latin word communis

which means common. Communication refers to the commonness or sharing of

information, ideas, facts, opinions, attitudes and understanding. Communication

essentially means transmission of commonly meaningful information (Ghanekar, 1998).

Keith (1993) defines communication as "the transfer of information and understanding

from one person to another person. It is a way of reaching others with facts, ideas,

thoughts and values. It is a bridge of meaning among people so that they can share what

they feel and know. By using this bridge a person can cross safely the river of

misunderstanding that sometimes separates people" (p. 399).

One of the older 'classic' definitions of communication focuses on its interactional

aspects. To Ruesch and Bateson (1951) communication includes "…all of those processes

by which people influence one another. This definition is based on the premise that all

actions and events have communicative aspects, as soon as they are perceived by a human

being … [and] that such a perception changes the information which an individual

possesses and therefore influences him" (p. 6). Under this broad definition, every stimulus

or event can have communicative significance. This would include words (verbal

utterances) and actions (nonverbal factors). According to this definition, whenever we

make an effort to influence another person, we are practising communication (Hunt,

1985).

In the view of Thayer (1963), communication occurs "whenever an individual assigns

significance or meaning to an internal or external stimulus" (p. 43). This definition is

consistent with the position taken by most communication theorists. The important notion

here is that an individual stimulus has no inherent meaning. A word such as Love does not
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have 'meaning' itself. The word assumes whatever meaning it is assigned in the

individual's mind. Therefore, the exact meaning that a person assigns to Love may not be

the same as that assigned by another. The difference in the assignment of meaning can

create problems in interpersonal communication. A person may operate on one meaning

for the word, based on his or her experience. His or her meaning may be different from

that of others. In this way, when we begin to communicate, miscommunication is possible

because of this difference (Hunt, 1985).

Scholars in the area of communication have given different definitions of

communication, but a simple definition of communication presented by Miller (1951),

puts it this way: "communication takes place when there is information at one place or

person, and we want to get it to another place or person" (p. 10). Verdman (1970)

describes a design for effective communication and says, "effective communication is

purposive symbolic interchange resulting in workable understanding and agreement

between the sender and the receiver" (p. 3).

Baird (1977) views communication as the process involving the transmission and

reception of symbols eliciting meaning in the minds of the participants by making their

life-experiences common. From the management point of view, communication is best

described as the means by which management gets its job done. Accordingly,

communication can be defined as "purposive interchange of ideas, opinions, instructions,

presented personally or impersonally by symbol or signal so as to attain the goals of the

organization" (Ghanekar, 1998, p. 5).

A great variety of definitions are available in literature on communication. Various

writers, social scientists, mathematicians, statisticians, novelists, management

associations, etc. have defined communication in so many ways that a standard definition

of communication does not exist. Obviously, one need not wonder if communication is
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called as a chameleon word - one that changes its meaning and application with each

person who uses it.

The nature of communication is complex and its scope is very broad. If the study of

communication were enlarged to provide a deep and insightful knowledge, it would

include the entire gamut of psychological sub-disciplines like perception, cognition,

linguistics, motivation, etc. It would also extend into organizational areas such as

structure, hierarchy, authority and management functions. From these definitions, one can

conclude that:

1. Meaning is created and does not exist independently of the communicators.

Meaning resides in the mind of each communicator.

2. Communication involves people. Since it is the individual who selects, transmits,

and receives the messages, we have to think of communication as an important

issue of human behaviour. Any discussion of communication must include the

human element in order to be complete.

3. Communication stimuli can consist of almost everything within our environment.

Because of this, we must develop respect for the complexity of the communication

phenomenon. We must not take for granted that the information we transmit will

be accurately and efficiently received by others.

Communication Process

Communication can be thought of as a process or flow. Communication experts have

developed numerous models over the years to explain how communication works. No

single model can possibly explain all aspects of the process. But since looking at a number

of models would be confusing, the following model would give the basic idea of the

communication process:
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Sender  Message Encoding  Message Channel  Message Decoding  Message Receiver

Feedback

Figure 2.1 Communication Process Model

The sender initiates the message by encoding a thought. Four conditions usually affect

the encoded message: skill, attitudes, knowledge, and the socio-cultural system. The

message is the actual physical product from the source encoding. The channel is the

medium through which the message travels. The receiver is the object to whom the

message is directed. But before the message can be received, the symbols in it must be

translated into a form that can be understood by the receiver. This is the decoding of the

message. The final link in the communication process is the feedback. It is the check on

how successful we have been in transferring our messages as originally intended. It

determines whether understanding has been achieved.

Ancient Heritage for Communication Principles

The ability to communicate well has always provided advantages to those who possess

it. Communication has a rich history and its traditions can still be seen in modern day

communication concepts. Much like life itself, communication is a process. That means, it

is dynamic, ever-changing, and unending.

The ancient world, the East and the West, depended heavily on oral communication.

For example, in ancient Greece and Rome, it was necessary to communicate well on one's

feet when dealing with matters in government assemblies and courts of law. During the

Medieval and Renaissance periods, the oral tradition continued. As writing became more
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important as a permanent record of communication, authors and books on written

communication principles appeared.

Communication principles originated in the East. According to ancient Indian scholars,

Sanskrit is supposed to be the oldest language popularly known as Devvani, which means

it has originated directly from the mouth of God. For centuries, it continued to be an oral

language. In China, communication principles are based on and connected with the

importance of bureaucratic traditions. For centuries, Chinese political theories were

concerned with the problems of communication within the vast government bureaucracy

as well as between the government and the people. As early as in the fourth century, these

theorists were advising rulers and government officials. Their advice stated that

information should flow smoothly upward and downward. The theorists also encouraged

rulers and officials to minimize bias and falsification of sources and to resist the influence

of cliques and opportunists (Krone, Garrett, & Chen, 1992). Hence, some of today's

principles of writing are founded on a mixture of ancient oral and written traditions.

Myths about Communication

Myths often represent the very human attempt to explain something important but

poorly understood. Myths have become very popular today. The information technology

has made the world smaller and the business organizations, educators, and the media

persons have stressed the importance of communication skills. The fascination inspired by

myths has kept many people alive across the millennia, but despite the degree of

abstraction or exaggeration that makes them so fascinating, there is often a grain of truth

or an insight into some fundamental aspect of the human condition at their heart. Some of

the myths that many people believe about interpersonal communication are discussed

below:
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 Many people believe that all the problems of this world are communication

problems in one-way or the other. But the fact is that not all problems can be traced

to some kind of failure to communicate. People differ in their attitudes, beliefs, and

values, and that leads them to behave in different ways. Those different patterns of

behaviours often cause problems in human relationships. It is quite possible that all

the communication skills we might apply may leave a person unconverted or

unconvinced. And we doubt that such a state of affairs would constitute a failure to

communicate. There are people who understand well someone's position but reject

the validity of it.

 It is also believed that all the problems of this world can be solved by more and

better communication. But it is not necessary that just improving communication

can solve all the problems. For example, problems between teacher and student or

between wife and husband cannot be solved just by improving the communication.

There are problems between people and problems inherent in systems that have

nothing to do with the ability to communicate, and that, therefore, cannot be solved

by increasing the amount of communication. Burgoon, Hunsaker and Dawson

(1994) believe that if married couples in the United States of America are

compelled to engage in "more and better communication", the divorce rate may

increase by 50 percent. Most people develop communication patterns that are both

functional and satisfying. It often proves detrimental to attempt to alter the

existing patterns under the guise that more and better communication will solve all

relational problems.

 It is also believed that communication is without costs. This belief is not true.

Attempting to communicate with other people effectively takes a great deal of

effort and energy. Communication is hard work. Organizations may think of costs
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in terms of money, but individuals must actively consider how much time they are

willing to invest in any given situation to maximize communication outcomes.

 It is generally said that communication often breaks down. Machines break down;

communication does not. Communication attempts can be successful or

unsuccessful. We can be effective or ineffective in our attempts to communicate,

but we simply cannot envisage communication breaking down. Further,

communication must be judged as a tool that can be used for good or bad ends.

One cannot say that communication is either good or bad. People can use

communication as a tool to serve humanity or to grow and develop as individuals.

People can also use it to make enemies and to initiate wars.

 Some people are of the opinion that communication is about producing messages

that are more effective. Since long, people have equated effective communication

with the ability to produce messages that would persuade, entertain, inform, or do a

variety of other things. However, any definition of the competent communicator

must also include message consumption. A person who is elegant in elocution but

does not listen to or understand others cannot be called an effective communicator.

One should develop skills that emphasize both message production and message

consumption.

Intrapersonal Communication
In the context of interpersonal communication, it would be appropriate to emphasize

the importance of intrapersonal communication. Communication is a two-way process

that involves both sending and receiving messages. But it is not necessary that this process

would require two participants. Intrapersonal communication takes place whenever we

evaluate and react to internal and external stimuli. The first step towards effective

communication with others is successful communication with ourselves. Intrapersonal

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messages reflect our physical self, emotional self, social self, self-concept, values, beliefs

and attitudes - in short, our entire personality. Thus, the study of intrapersonal

communication begins with knowing ourselves. Intrapersonal communication is the

foundation upon which interpersonal communication is based. Therefore, it is necessary to

understand how we communicate with ourselves before we approach the process of

communicating with others.

Dyadic Interaction

Dyadic interaction is one that takes place between two persons. The quality of

encounter and relationships that occur between two people through such transaction

determine the extent to which growth and development are enabled. Mutual trust,

understanding and consideration grow out of positive interactions. In interpersonal

communication, the major emphasis is on transferring information from one person to

another. Communication is looked upon as a basic method of effecting behavioural

change. Interpersonal communication refers to the exchange of messages between persons

for constructing common meanings. It is important to note that the quality of a relationship

is directly related to the quantity and quality of information sharing. In this context, it is

also important that face-to-face dialogue is considered the richest medium. It provides

immediate feedback so that receivers can check the accuracy of their understanding and

can correct it, if required. It also allows the sender and the receiver simultaneously to

observe body language, tone of voice and facial expression. These observations

communicate more than just the spoken words. Finally, it enables the sender and the

receiver to identify quickly and use language that is natural and personal. Because of these

characteristics, solving important and tough problems - especially those involving

uncertainty and ambiguity - almost always requires face-to-face dialogue.

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Interpersonal communication has a long history within the vast area of communication.

In the early 1900s, Simmel (1950) was making astute observations about interpersonal

communication that are still debated today - such as "reciprocal knowledge",

"characteristics of the dyad", interaction "rituals", "secrecy", "lies and truth" and "types of

social relationship".

Many intellectual seeds for the study of interpersonal communication were sown

during the 1920s and 1930s. Elton Mayo and his colleagues at the Harvard Business

School were uncovering the potential power of social interaction and social relationship in

the work setting. In the 1940s and 1950s, Eliot Chapple believed that the matching of

interaction rhythms led to an impression of harmony, whereas mismatching signalled

discord - regardless of the content. Anthropologist Birdwhistell (1952) and Hall (1959)

were interested in the total process of communication, but their pioneering efforts and

observations of body movement, gestures, postures, and the use of space laid the

groundwork for the study called "nonverbal communication" predominantly examined as

interpersonal behaviour.

In the late 1950s, Fritz Heider's book, The Psychology of Interpersonal Relations

(1958) helped to launch a line of research on attribution theory that is integral to the study

of interpersonal communication today. By the late 1970s, the study of interpersonal

communication had established itself as a major area of study along with mass

communication in the United States. This was not the case in Europe, Asia, and South

America. Even today, interpersonal communication outside the United States is likely to

be housed within psychology, sociology, or anthropology. The late 1980s and early 1990s

seemed to be characterized by a tendency to embrace a variety of approaches to the study

of interpersonal communication (e.g., quantitative and qualitative, micro and macro) to

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face difficult questions about what we know and how we know it (Knapp, Miller, &

Fudge, 1994).

The reason why many scholars study interpersonal communication is the hope to

generate information that will improve social interaction and human relationships. They

seek to uncover and articulate what might be termed "solutions" for communication

problems. As a result, the literature in communication is now dotted with studies focussing

on behaviours that are meant to enhance our close relationships and help us achieve our

interpersonal goals.

Communication Styles

The construct of communication style has long been a topic of interest among scholars.

During the Roman times, style was one of the "five canons of rhetoric" (Norton, 1983, p.

7) and Aristotle's observations and recommendations on speaking style are still found in

the contemporary college textbooks. Currently, the way people perceive themselves

interacting and communicating with others is called communication style (Norton, 1978,

1983).

Style refers to the way one communicates. Watzlawick, Beavin and Jackson's content

and relational communication model (1967) defines the study of style, which focuses on

the interpretation of the message by the receiver and its impact on what is being said and

how it is being said. Until recently, style has been studied more extensively by scholars

outside the communication field than by those within it. Communication style is "the way

one verbally, nonverbally, and paraverbally interacts to signal how literal meaning should

be taken, interpreted, filtered, or understood" (Norton, 1983, p. 11). Tannen (1986)

mentions that people have different conversational styles. So, when speakers from

different parts of the country, or of different ethnic or class backgrounds, talk to each

other, it is likely that their words will not be understood exactly as they were meant.
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Norton's Communicator Style Scale (1983) examines nine variables: dominant,

dramatic, contentious, animated, impression-leaving, relaxed, attentive, open and

friendly. A dominant communicator takes charge of the conversation, while a contentious

style is more argumentative. A dramatic communicator uses stories, metaphors,

exaggerated movements, etc., while an animated style refers to the use of subtle nonverbal

cues. A relaxed communicator shows low-tension levels, while an attentive communicator

lets others know that he or she is listening. A person who readily reveals information

about himself or herself is described as open, and a person who leaves an impact on the

receiver's memory has used an impression-leaving style. The friendly style recognizes

others positively. Later, Norton has concluded that these nine components actually reflect

a single continuum ranging from nondirective communicative style through directive

communicative style. The nondirective style embraces the attentive communicator who

encourages, accommodates, and acknowledges others. On the other end of the continuum,

the directive style involves the dominant communicator who talks frequently and takes

control in social situations.

The very popular and recently developed tool for exploring variations in the way

people perceive themselves interacting with others is the Communication Style Profile

Test (CSPT) by McCallister (1994). McCallister's conceptualisation of communication

style, which appears to have evolved from the earlier work of Norton, involves three,

rather than two, predominant styles that are labelled: Noble, Socratic and Reflective.

The Communication Style Profile Test is a series of sixty questions that measure how

one communicates (cf. McCallister, 1994). It is said that people do not react to 'what' one

says; instead, they react to 'how' one says what one says. Successful communication is

directly linked to other person's expectations which would have us communicate just the

way he or she communicates. One can learn to identify other people's expectations, to
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satisfy those expectations, and to control the outcome of any conversation. If one is

attempting success or even just survive in today's challenging world, it is very important

that he or she should be able to control what happens in the dyadic or group conversations.

McCallister has provided an easy method for gaining this control. Emphasizing the

importance of communication, McCallister writes, "Communication. It can make or break

a career, build or destroy a marriage, even begin or end a war. It is perhaps the most

important thing we do. If we have a problem at work, we say it is a communication

problem. If we have a problem in relationships, we say it is a communication problem. But

we typically don't know how to fix these problems, and we often don't know what caused

the problem" (McCallister, 1994, p. 3).

McCallister's three dominant communication styles (i.e., Noble, Socratic, and

Reflective) are relevant in understanding interpersonal communication and relationship.

The Noble communicator is conceptualised as a direct and straightforward person who

feels obligated to state the truth. A Socratic is a verbose, analytical communicator who is

concerned with details, and a Reflective is a warm, supportive communicator who is

concerned with interpersonal relations and the need to avoid conflict. Regarding the

naming of these three dominant communication styles, McCallister states that to give

equal importance to these styles the terms have been grounded in the rhetorical tradition.

Noble is very Aristotelian, the Socratic is obviously akin to Socrates, and the Reflective is

reminiscent of Plato.

Communication style is a matter of choice. No one style is better than the other ones. It

is not something with which we are born and die. It is something that we learn and

develop over time. Effective leaders develop the ability to use more than one style. It is

not a personality trait that will never change. Everyone has the potential to use all three
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patterns of communication, but people tend to use one pattern predominantly. These three

dominant styles are discussed in detail below:

Noble

The 'Nobles' are true believers who expect the personal feelings of the self to play a

secondary role in the communication interaction. They believe that the primary purpose of

communication is the exchange of information and honest opinions. Individuals who

endorse the noble style rarely engage in personal self-disclosure, avoid lengthy discussion,

argumentation and debate, expect yes-no responses, tend to be result-oriented

communicators and are most concerned with the bottom line. Nobles' action-oriented style

and desire to make quick decisions help them project an image of a powerful leader.

While Nobles have certain strengths, there are some weaknesses in their characteristics.

The Nobles have a tendency to go from being assertive to turning aggressive. Aggressive

communicative behaviours create a closed and defensive communication climate. Nobles

expect everyone to be direct, straightforward, and very honest, and this just is not the way

the world works, and as a result, they get frustrated.

Socratic

Socratics are individuals who are most concerned with rhetoric and the analysis of

details and debates. They would openly engage in discussion, negotiation and arbitration.

They are verbose, persuasive and argumentative. They are believed to see a holistic picture

of communication and to have the ability and desire to sort through the gray areas to

reduce hostility. Socratics have the potential to be successful problem solvers because of

their ability to see issues from many perspectives. They use anecdotal stories and

hypothetical examples to help the other person share or experience a similar moment in

time.
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Socratics also have some weaknesses. They are very argumentative and the

argumentative communication behaviours create a closed, defensive, and hostile

communication climate. They have a tendency to be redundant, engage in non-stop

conversations, as a result the other person stops listening to them. Socratics are poor

listeners and have a tendency to interrupt the other person. Further, the directive and

controlling nature of Socratics increases interpersonal conflict.

Reflective

Reflectives believe that the primary purpose of communication is the maintenance or

advancement of personal relationship. The accurate transmission of information,

expression of opinions, and tangible results play a secondary role in the communication

encounter. They believe that the communication decorum should be polite and conflict-

free. They try to maintain a warm, calm and supportive relationship. They often say what

the other person wants to hear rather than what they really feel. They openly engage in

personal self-disclosure, use verbal and nonverbal reinforcers to create a supportive

climate. They are patient listeners, flexible and persuadable. They try their best to defuse

communication hostility. They are soft-spoken and non-assertive. Reflectives have the

ability to help other people solve their own problems; they tune in to the needs of the other

person and respect the confidential nature of the interaction.

Like other communicators, Reflectives too have some weaknesses. They have a

tendency to back away from controversial issues. They do not say what they really think

and this causes personal frustration. The passive tendency causes the Reflectives to lose

career opportunities because the other person views them as weak. They are verbally

attacked because the other person knows the Reflectives will back down. They tend to be

more concerned with personal feelings and pleasant communication decorum, and this

results in indecisiveness. Since they are indecisive and nondirective, they are prevented
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from achieving personal and professional goals. Reflectives are not viewed as credible

communicators because of their soft-spoken, unassertive and noncommittal style. This

establishes them as dishonest or devious persons in the eyes of the other.

Each person expects the other person to communicate exactly as he or she

communicates. When these expectations are not met or when people communicate in a

style that is inconsistent with past expectations, communication conflict arises. So, it is

important to learn to control the communication style, in order to control the outcome of

most interactions. The communication styles are different but they are not better or worse

than one another. Everyone has some of the Noble, some of the Socratic, and some of the

Reflective pattern, but it is the combination of these patterns that creates our unique

communication profile – our personal style of communication. Depending upon the

situation, if we can control our style of communication, we can be successful persons.

Usually, Nobles expect Noble talk, Socratics expect Socratic talk, and Reflectives expect

others to be Reflective. When these expectations are not met, communication conflict

occurs.

In some situations, it is possible to have asymmetric communication expectations. That

is, one person may expect the other person not to communicate in a similar style. For

example, a Noble or Socratic boss may expect his or her secretary to communicate as a

Reflective. Thus, if we can manage to communicate as per the expectation of the other

person, we can be successful in our efforts to get the work done.

Regarding sex differences in communication style, McCallister argues that

communication style is acquired through socialization and the "sex-differences have

absolutely nothing at all to do with communication style. Men do not tend to be one style

and women another. Traditions and cultural mores may set up expectations regarding

acceptable styles for women and acceptable styles for men, but biological gender does not
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cause women to be one style and men to be another" (McCallister, 1994, p. 203). She

argues further that sex also has nothing to do with management or leadership abilities. No

scientific research has suggested particular genetic traits for men, which make them better

managers or leaders. Tradition and cultural mores may have placed men in these positions

in the past, but these mores have been challenged, and the traditions are being broken.

Sex-based style differences are myths. These stereotypical beliefs can be shattered if we

look beyond sex and examine communication style as a cause of behaviours.

A simple reason, which McCallister gives regarding sex differences in communication

style, is traced to our traditions and cultures that are always in the process of change but

have never been altogether eliminated. Thus, while male and female leadership,

behaviours may not differ, our expectations regarding acceptable behaviours from males

and females may still differ. That is, what we expect and accept from men, may be

different from what we expect and accept from women. Of course, there are still some

people who like certain behaviours in males and dislike the same behaviours in females

and vice versa. Fortunately, the sex-based distinctions are gradually disappearing.

McCallister's conceptualisation of communication styles is based on more than a

decade of research. McCallister worked with and tested thousands of students, workers,

managers, and executives in an effort to develop a scale that would help the average

person understand how communication can be used to improve one's life condition.

Gender and Communication

The origin of research on gender-related variables in communication probably can be

traced to studies in which researchers included biological sex as a category to determine

whether it affected the particular area of communication under consideration. Most of

these studies treated biological sex as an accidental feature, rather than as the primary area

of interest. Further, these studies operated under a paradigm that suggested men and
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women were, indeed, different, and we should expect to see differences in every instance

(Pearson, West, & Turner, 1995).

Some communication theorists have worked on constructs to provide a theoretical

framework for organizing the sex and communication literature. Hart and his associates

developed the Rhetorical Sensitivity construct (Hart & Burks, 1972; Hart, Carlson &

Eadie, 1980) and defined the rhetorically sensitive person as one who characterizes herself

or himself as a changing, fluctuating person who suitably adapts to the situational and

environmental variations. Other researchers considered the importance of communication

competence, which included an element of adaptability or flexibility. Gilligan (1982)

suggests that based on different relationships with a female caregiver (mother), boys and

girls develop psychologies and different ways of perceiving the world. By adulthood, the

difference is maximized. Gilligan claims that men think in terms of vertical hierarchies

and women in terms of horizontals and webs.

None of the theories discussed so far is satisfactory for understanding the

communication behaviours we observe in males and females. However, researchers

continue theorizing to gain a clearer understanding of gender and communication.

Researchers in the past three decades tried to examine biological sex differences in

communication. During the first wave of research, a number of differences in

communication were determined. This work on sex differences in communication

proceeded until 1974, when Bem (1974) introduced the concept of androgyny, the

internalisation of both masculine and feminine characteristics. Androgyny has come from

the Greek terms andro meaning male and gyne meaning female. This concept seemed to

challenge the traditional category of masculine and feminine. In Bem's system, a person

could be high or low in both masculinity and femininity as opposed to the older notion that

high levels of one would mean low level of the other. Bem (1993) described gender as a
 MANAGEMENT THROUGH INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS 21

lens through which we view the world. She suggested that many of the choices we make

about our own behaviours are to varying degrees guided by the cultural expectations

regarding our gender.

Bem approached androgyny, masculinity and femininity as sex-roles or psychological

orientations. Many researches, after 1974, replaced biological sex with psychological

gender-role orientation. The Bem Sex Role Inventory (BSRI) [Bem, 1974] is the

questionnaire most often used by researchers to measure masculinity, femininity and

androgyny. The use of biological sex resulted in mixed findings, whereas the use of this

new psychological gender instrument appeared to clarify the findings and sharpen the

issue. In spite of several studies done in the area of gender and communication, the very

basic question about women's and men's communication remains controversial even today.

Kirtley and Weaver (1999) argued that gender role self-perception is the key factor

underlying our attitudes, beliefs and behaviours when interacting and communicating with

others. Our perception of gender role is the result of the socialization process. The

applicability of the gender role self-perception concept in understanding communication

phenomenon is suggested by several authors. Individuals, whether male or female, who

endorsed masculine gender role self-perception, shared more verbal assertiveness and used

more direct statements. Individuals who identified with the feminine gender role self-

perception, on the other hand, used more personal references and were found more likable

(Leaper, 1987). In another study, Weaver, Fitch-Hauser, Villaume and Thomas (1993)

explored the impact of masculine versus feminine gender roles on communication

apprehension. They found that masculine individuals reported experiencing significantly

less communication apprehension than their feminine counterparts. Significant sex

differences were also evident, but the variance explained by sex differences, especially

when compared with the effect size for gender role orientation proved very small.
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The importance of the concept of gender makes many introduce it as a central variable

in communication study. While some on the empirical periphery continue to castigate

gender communication research, the area receives increasing attention from scholars in a

variety of disciplines. We now live in a culture that views gender as integral to

understanding human behaviours.

A variety of models have guided the research on gender and communication. The initial

lack of investigations on women promoted stereotypical images and effective

communication models derived from the interactions of men. Implicitly, communicative

success was equated with male practice. The communicative behaviours of both women

and men are now examined with behavioural research replacing "folk linguistics". When

we learn that a friend or an acquaintance has been blessed with a baby, what is the first

question we are likely to ask about the infant? When we see a person walking on the street

ahead of us and cannot determine his/her biological sex immediately, why do we strive to

find out if it is a man or woman? When we learn that an individual has made an important

discovery, are we not curious to know if it is a male/female? Every day we consider and

ask questions about an individual’s biological sex.

We make observations and predictions about whether people are male or female based

on their communicative behaviours and their roles in the society. While gender and

communication are intimately related, the relationship is not as simple and straightforward

as it once might have been. Our society is changing; therefore, it is no longer easy to

predict a person's occupation or family role based on his/her sex. For example, women are

becoming increasingly successful in managerial roles and are attaining of high status in a

variety of organizations and men are becoming more involved with their children from the

moment of birth.
 MANAGEMENT THROUGH INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS 23

The changing roles of women and men are inescapable, and the topic of gender and

communication is relevant because of vast sociological and psychological changes.

Virtually every medium - books, magazines, newspapers, film, television, and radio,

carries stories about the changeable issues of man and woman's role and the manner in

which they communicate with each other.

A considerable amount of research has attempted to understand the nature of various

sex-roles and the ways these roles are interpreted and communicated. Research on gender

and communication are done mainly for two reasons. First, it helps us to understand in a

better way the nature of our own human condition and how it makes a sense of the world

in which we live. Second, from this understanding, we attempt to predict how to live better

in our complicated and continually changing world. Thus, such type of research is of

immediate and personal concern to many of us.

Tannen (1990) in her provocative and fascinating book suggests that we can make our

lives a bit easier by becoming more aware of gender-based communication style. That

way, we can make allowances rather than take disparities personally. If we have sense for

the ways in which talk gets us into trouble - we can recognize our own conversations and

misunderstandings.

If we understand gender-based communication, we can, to some extent, avoid the

misunderstanding in the way men and women talk to one another. No doubt, this field is

very controversial. Some people become agitated as soon as they hear a reference to

gender. A few become angry at the mere suggestion that women and men are different.

And this reaction can come from either women or men. Despite these dangers, researches

on gender and language are growing, because the risk of ignoring differences is greater

than the danger of naming them. Denying real differences can only compound the
 MANAGEMENT THROUGH INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS 24

confusion that is already widespread in this era of shifting and re-forming relationships

between women and men (Tannen, 1990).

Since long, researchers in the area of gender and communication have been arguing

that men and women differ greatly in the way they communicate and interact with others.

Although there are differences, considerable research suggests that sex differences may

play only a small role in the cognitive and behavioural processes that underlie

communication. Researchers in this field often argue that language is not sex-neutral, it

seems to divide, separate, and differentiate women from men (Doyle & Paludi, 1991). The

separation between male and female as a simple dichotomy prevails in many cultures as

evident, for example, from the Chinese Yang and Yin, the Hindu Lingam (Shiva) and Yoni

(Shakti), and the Tantric Buddhist Jewel and Lotus (Bakan, 1966). Individuals learn to be

male or female by learning effective means of communication and social behaviour, which

are required for their gender. In India, sex role is strongly related to the prevailing culture.

Religion, culture and tradition have deep roots and have significant influence on the

individual's personality and behaviour. Parents, siblings, and other members of the

extended family, along with cultural mores, have a significant role in the timing,

techniques, and emphasis on sex role development and training. (Nyrop, Benderly, Cover,

Cutter, & Parker, 1975). The personal observations of Nyrop et al., (1975) suggest that

currently in India, the industrialization and migration have brought about some obvious

changes in stereotyped concepts of masculinity and femininity affecting such factors as

household composition, residence patterns, sleeping arrangements, specific kinship

relationship, and male and female attitudes and behaviours. In a study of sex role attitudes,

marriage and career among Indian college men and women, Ghadially and Kazi (1980)

have provided evidence, which suggests that the role played by males and females in
 MANAGEMENT THROUGH INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS 25

Indian society is gradually changing. Findings indicate a significant difference between

'traditional' and 'non-traditional' males and females on the above issues.

Tannen (1990, p. 42) suggests that "if women speak and hear a language of

connection and intimacy, while men speak and hear a language of status and

independence, then communication between men and women can be like cross-cultural

communication, prey to a clash of conversational styles. Instead of different dialects, it has

been said, they speak different genderlects". She states further that men's conversations are

negotiations in which people try to gain and maintain the upper hand and protect

themselves from others' attempts to put them down and push them around. Conversations

that women have are negotiations for closeness in which people try to seek and give

confirmation and support.

Briton and Hall (1995) found that women were expected by members of both sexes to

display greater skill at sending and receiving nonverbal messages. In this case, the

researchers expected to find such differences since women have been observed to use

certain nonverbal expressions more than men and were found to be better interpreters of

facial expressions. Women are also accepted generally as better listeners than men.

Perhaps, of all socio-demographic variables in communication, gender has been the

most predominantly studied. In studying gender, one important thing researchers have

emphasized is the cultural difference. Singh and Lele (1990) point out that attention

should be paid to cultural differences in gender-power hierarchies. Where a number of

scholars argue that there are gender differences in the communication pattern, Maccoby

and Jacklin (1974), and Block (1976), in a monumental narrative review of literature,

concluded that there are few sex differences and that those that do emerge are small in

magnitude and often overshadowed by interactions. Thus, Maccoby and Jacklin suggested

that females were not more social than males, were not better at simpler tasks, did not
 MANAGEMENT THROUGH INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS 26

have lower self-esteem, and were not more suggestible than males. Zimbardo (1977) also

did not find any evidence to support the cultural assumption that females are shyer than

males. Hyde and Linn (1988) state, "our meta-analysis provides strong evidence that the

magnitude of the gender difference in verbal ability is currently so small that it can

effectively be considered to be zero. More detailed analysis of various types of verbal

ability (e.g., vocabulary, reading comprehension, and analogies) similarly yielded no

evidence of substantial gender difference" (p. 64).

However, recent sociolinguistic researches in various cultures have found gender

differences in the speech styles of adults and children. Sheldon (1993) expects that

language is a major influence on what and how children learn about gender and that

gender is a major influence on the way children use language in everyday life. Language

functions not only to initiate novices but also to perpetuate and enforce asymmetrical

gendered behaviours by means of reconstructing social relations between and among

females and males in countless ordinary daily conversations over a lifetime.

There are gender differences in ways of speaking and we need to identify and

understand them. Without such understanding, we are doomed to blame others, or

ourselves or the relationship. Talk between women and men is like cross-cultural

communication. A cross-cultural approach to gender differences in conversational style

differs from the work on gender and language, which claims that conversations between

men and women break down because men seek to dominate women. Tannen (1990) states

that "no one could deny that men as a class are dominant in our society and that many

individual men seek to dominate women in their lives. Yet, male dominance is not the

whole story. It is not sufficient to account for everything that happens to women and men

in conversations - especially conversations in which both are genuinely trying to relate to

 MANAGEMENT THROUGH INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS 27

each other with attention and respect. The effect of dominance is not always the result of

an intention to dominate" (p. 18).

Gender role is usually thought of as learned behaviour. The ideals of masculinity are

communicated to males, where the feminine ideals are communicated to females. Often

this process fuses sex and gender together, although theoretically they are separate

concerns. Some commentators argue that it is as if males and females have been raised on

two different planets or at least, two different cultures, with two unique patterns of

communicating (Gray, 1992). Numerous scholars in the area of gender and

communication have observed the stereotypical role of male and female. Females have

been characterized as emotional, passive, gentle, highly talkative and having an abundance

of facial expressions. Males, on the other hand, have been characterized as task-oriented,

blunt, aggressive, ambitious and independent.

Montgomery and Norton (1981) focused specially on communication styles and

proposed, "a large but fragmented body of literature suggests that men and women differ

significantly in their interpersonal communication" (p. 122). Burleson and Samter (1992)

also found sex differences to be significant in social participation and communication

skills. Heiss (1991), contrary to stereotypic beliefs, found that male and female displayed

equal power and dominance through their communication styles in intimate relationships.

Wheelen and Verdi (1992) found no stereotypic sex differences in the categories of task,

maintenance, or verbal participation. Simkins-Bullock and Wildman (1991) also found

that sex differences did not explain substantial differences in the type of language

incorporated in the communication styles of males and females. A meta-analysis

conducted by Lustig and Andersen (1990) found no sex difference in the communication

pattern.
 MANAGEMENT THROUGH INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS 28

Thus, the findings on gender and communication are full of contradictions. Where a

large number of scholars believe that there are differences in the communication patterns

of males and females, many do not support this concept. Perhaps, future research will keep

on trying to get a satisfactory answer to this problem.

Nonverbal Communication

Nonverbal communication plays an important role in our everyday interactions with the

different people we meet. Our body is so incredibly versatile that it can send thousands of

nonverbal messages. When we encounter people, we usually look first at their face to see

if their expression reflects what they are saying. Then we listen to the tone of their voice to

check if there are any indications of the emotions involved, and finally, we listen to the

spoken words to get the actual meaning. Generally, we make judgments about the nature

and behaviour of persons based on their nonverbal and visual cues rather than their verbal

communication. A pioneer in the field of nonverbal communication, Professor Ray

Birdwhistell said, 'more human communication takes place by the use of gestures,

postures, position and distance than by any other way'.

Body language is both powerful and indispensable in communication. Our verbal

communication would be ineffective, if our nonverbal messages do not accompany them.

So, it is correct to say that, 'no matter where we look, nonverbal communication is at the

heart of every message conveyed or received whether in face-to-face encounters, or over

the telephone.' In fact, nonverbal communication includes personal feelings, emotions,

attitudes, thoughts through body movements - gestures, postures, facial expressions,

walking styles, positions and distance - either consciously or involuntarily, more often

subconsciously, and accompanied or unaccompanied by the spoken language. Thus, it can

be said that nonverbal communication is the way people unconsciously telegraph their

private thoughts and emotions through body movements - the way in which they fold their
 MANAGEMENT THROUGH INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS 29

arms, cross their legs, sit, stand, walk, use their hips, eyes and even in the subtle way they

move their lips.

Professor Albert Mehrabian (1981), one of the famous experts in nonverbal

communication, conducted a study on the relationships among the three main elements of

communication: the verbal, the vocal, and the visual. The verbal refers to the words that

are spoken, the message. The vocal refers to the intonation, projection, and resonance of

the voice through which the message is conveyed. The visual depicts the nonverbal

behaviours while speaking. Mehrabian noted that if the message was inconsistent the

impact would be as follows:

Verbal-- 7 per cent (words)

Vocal -- 38 per cent (tone of voice, inflection)

Visual -- 55 per cent (nonverbal physical behaviours)

The visual is the most controllable and perhaps the most unconscious element of the

message from sender to receiver. If the message is consistent, all the elements combine

effectively. There is excitement and enthusiasm in the voice, correlated with an energetic,

lively face and body that exudes confidence and the conviction of the message.

Perry (2001) states that human communication starts when words have no meaning. It

starts by gazing, rocking, stroking, kissing, and humming. It is in these first nonverbal

interactions that a human being is connected to another and the back and forth of

communication begins. Thus, nonverbal communication is the core of all languages and

can communicate love. Human beings have a remarkable brain-mediated capacity to make

sounds and act as symbolic representations of other things. Human beings are capable of

making thousands of complex languages with millions of unique words.

While words are the most amazing invention, human communication starts when words

have no meaning. The infant's cry means, "I'm hungry or scared or cold or tired." The
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responsive caregiver's actions mean, "It's safe. Eat now. I bring warmth, comfort and

pleasure. You are loved." To the newborn, the sounds of "I love you" are, at first,

meaningless. But over time, by holding, rocking, gazing and gently stroking - as the

sounds "I love you" are whispered over and over - the baby learns the meaning of the

word. The sound becomes a word.

When language does not develop in the context of caring relationships, we lose the

beauty and meaning that words can convey. For each newborn, exposure to repetitive

spoken language in a relationship provides the stimulus for neural organization that will

allow that child to develop complex language capabilities - the capacity to understand and

to communicate using "words." This learning process requires that language be derived

from social-emotional communication. The face, not the voice, is the major organ of

human communication. Words have become our shortcuts.

Only a fraction of our total brain is dedicated to verbal communication. Indeed, the vast

majority of our communication with others is nonverbal, and a huge percentage of what

our brains perceive in communication from others is focused (even without our being

aware) on the nonverbal signals - eye movements, facial gestures, tone of voice, latency to

delay in responding to a question, the move of a hand, or tip of the head. Even as one area

of the brain is processing and attending to the words in an interaction, more areas are

continually focussing on, and responding to, the nonverbal actions that accompany the

words. It is through nonverbal communication that we learn the meaning of words.

Nonverbal communication dominates our lives, even as we live in an increasingly verbal

world. When the overwhelming joy of a first love sweeps us away, there are no words.

When we seek to comfort the grieving, there are no words. But words only fail us if they

are all we use to communicate. Ideally, words should complement, expand, enrich and
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elaborate our communication: the smile with the compliment, the adoring gaze with

professed love, the soothing caress with the comforting words.

Despite the important role that nonverbal messages play in our society, few people are

conscious of the way in which they respond to the nonverbal cues of others. It is ironic

that people spend several years in learning verbal language, but almost no time is devoted

to the study of the syntax or vocabulary of nonverbal behaviours. The result is that our

ability to send and interpret nonverbal messages is generally inadequate.

Nonverbal communication has many modes of expression. Research suggests that there

are seven commonly used codes or mediums for conveying messages. Each of these codes

has some unique properties that influence the communication roles it performs. These

codes are - proxemics, haptics, chronemics, kinesics, physical appearance, vocalics and

artifacts.

Proxemics
Proxemics refers to the ways in which people structure and use space in their daily

lives. It is one of the key codes of nonverbal communication. We have an invisible space

around us that we treasure as our own possession, which we carry along with us wherever

we go; that is, we walk around inside a sort of private bubble, which represents the amount

of air space we feel we must have between others and ourselves. Our interactions have to

do with people entering or invading this space or keeping away or being kept away from

it. The distances we maintain between ourselves and others, and our reactions to

inappropriate spacing have a potent impact on the communication process. People seem to

have two different types of spatial needs. The first one is called territoriality, which

consists of a need for and defence of territory. The second type of special need that

humans require is personal space. Personal space differs from territory in that it is not a
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fixed geographic area. Rather, it is an invisible bubble of space that individuals carry with

them.

Haptics

Haptics refers to touch which is an important mode of expression in interpersonal

communication. As a form of communication, haptics has received increasing attention in

nonverbal research over the past decade. Our need for touch seems to be very strong.

Touch can convey a myriad of meanings, ranging from care and concern to anger and

violence. The power of communication through touch has been studied in several applied

settings. In one hospital, nurses who touched their patients found the patients had better

attitudes towards them and increased their verbal output (Agulera, 1967). If touching is so

important and powerful, why is it often suppressed in our society? Perhaps, as our society

is progressing, people substitute for touch other signs and symbols, such as language. In

Indian culture, touching has a very wide range of meaning. Untouchability, a curse in

Indian society, exists even today in certain parts of the country. In Northern India, in

certain relationships some family members cannot touch each other. Touching feet of

parents and older people in the family and relations is supposed to be the best way to show

respect. The touching behaviours will be widely acceptable in coming years, as the clinical

psychologists have been putting emphasis on touching therapy.

Chronemics

An interesting but often overlooked dimension of nonverbal communication is

chronemics, or our use of time. Our notions of time, how we use it, the timing of events,

our emotional responses to time, even the length of our pauses - all contribute to the

communicative effect of time. The concept of time varies from culture to culture. In our

culture, sometimes late and waiting might not be that important as it is in many western

cultures. Misjudgment and misuse of these different time systems can lead others to
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interpret our nonverbal behaviours inaccurately. People in such cultures, where

punctuality is considered not that essential, may face problem, if they reach the places in

advance or on time. In addition, this will definitely affect their communication behaviours.

Kinesics

A more traditionally studied code of nonverbal communication is kinesics or the visual

aspects of behaviour. Kinesics includes body movements and posture, gestures, facial

expression and eye behaviours. These modes of behaviour have long been recognized as

carrying meaning in an interaction. Researchers in the field of kinesics value face as the

most expressive part of the body. In our daily interaction with people, it is the face that

first draws our attention, since it is directly observable. Facial expressions are highly

flexible and changeable. They are connected with our emotions as well as with our speech.

The face can encode a variety of communicative (conscious and intended) and informative

(unintended) messages. We alter our facial expressions to make them relevant to particular

situations, like parties, weddings, funerals, formal occasions, and so on.

Thus, every part of the body, from the eyebrows to the legs and feet, can be

manipulated, and this gives rise to endless possible combinations of features. Birdwhistell

(1970) has even estimated that there are 250,000 expressions possible in the face region

alone. Fortunately, not all of these minute differences in expressions are meaningful. It

appears from the research to date that kinesic cues are used in rather systematic ways.

Many experts believe that kinesic patterns follow rules, much like our verbal language

system does. Hence, it is possible to reduce the vast number of kinesic cues to a smaller,

more manageable set of meaningful behaviours. In this context, ethnic and cultural

background makes a lot of difference in the kinesic behaviours of people.

Physical Appearance
 MANAGEMENT THROUGH INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS 34

Another visual dimension of nonverbal communication is the physical appearance of

the human body. Men and women are very conscious of their own appearance and that of

others. In fact, physical attraction is often the key determinant of whether people will

choose to become acquainted. Here it should be clear that physical appearance cues

produce strong reactions in others, but physical appearance as a code is more limited than

some of the other nonverbal codes. Thus, physical appearance is more effective in the

beginning stage of interaction and the first impression effects are generally important.

Vocalics

Vocalics is concerned with the use of the voice in communication. It focuses on how

we say something rather than what we say. It is, therefore, referred to as the vocal element

of speech, as opposed to the verbal element, which are the words and their meanings.

Vocalics is comprised of several features. Vocal quality is the characteristic tonal quality

of the voice, based on such factors as resonance, articulation, lip control, and rhythm

control. Intensity, tempo, pitch, fluency and vocal patterns are the important dimensions of

vocalics. The combination of all these elements should produce in each of us a unique

voice. We use vocal cues to create certain impressions and influence the actions of others.

Besides clarifying verbal messages, vocalic cues may actually regulate the flow of verbal

communication. Thus, vocalics is a very powerful nonverbal code and it probably ranks

second to kinesics in terms of its significance in interactions.

Artifacts

The final nonverbal code that deserves mention is artefacts which include the use of the

environment and objects. A person's office or home and its environment carry message

about the occupant. Our environment communicates as well as impinges upon the

communication process. The way we design and use the elements in our environment

transmits messages about ourselves and dictates the nature of communications that will
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occur. For example, when we visit a person's office or residence for the first time, seeing

its environment may affect our communication behaviours. Thus, artifacts are responsible

for defining the communication context. They help to determine how all the other

nonverbal codes are to be interpreted.

Gender Differences in Nonverbal Communication

Researches are full with the study on gender differences in nonverbal communication.

For example, gender partly determines a person's choice of distance in an interaction. In

our culture, generally two females will sit or stand closer to each other than they will to

males. On the other hand, males will maintain a distance with males or females. Similarly,

differences can also be seen in other behaviours of the two sexes. Men walk differently

and even carry books differently from women. Males and females also have different ways

of sitting. Men and women cross their legs in a different way. In general, women use

fewer gestures and larger body movements than men but engage in more eye contact (Hall,

1985). Further, a male speaker with a breathy voice is perceived as young and artistic

while a female speaker with a breathy voice is seen as pretty, petite, effervescent, and

high-strung. A man with a throaty voice is likely to be stereotyped as mature,

sophisticated, and realistic; a woman with a throaty voice is viewed very differently - as

unintelligent, unemotional, lazy, neurotic, apathetic, and uninteresting.

Some of the other prominent gender differences in nonverbal communication are that

men display more visual dominance than women. Women smile more and are more

expressive facially and vocally than men. Women are approached more closely, tolerate

more spatial intrusion, give way to others more frequently and take up less physical space

than men. In our culture, generally women talk less in mixed sex interactions, but talk

more while interacting with the same sex. It is said that they listen more, and are

interrupted more often than men. Women display postures that are more submissive and
 MANAGEMENT THROUGH INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS 36

gestures such as the head tilt, open palm display, constricted arm and leg positions, and

moderate postural tensions. Women accommodate to the interaction pattern of their

partner; men do not. Women give as well receive more touch than men and appear to seek

physical contact to a greater extent than do men, but men initiate more touch during

courtship.

Communication in Public
Speaking in public is an art. The public presentation, or speech is used less frequently

by communicators than other forms of communication. The public presentation is used in

educational, religious, organizational, and public affairs. As in all communication, the role

of the audience is vital when one is to make a public presentation. One has to be very

specific in selecting the topic, place, and time, etc. before going for public presentation.

Anxiety in relation to public speaking is universal. Most people have some degree of

anxiety preceding their performance. It is said that physiologically 10-20 percent anxiety

is a good asset for speaking. The best speeches are made when the speaker has mild

anxiety about his/her speech. However, greater degree of anxiety takes away from the

performance. Mild anxiety, which is an integral part of good public speaking, needs some

help. The best methods are to use relaxation-breathing technique. A good overnight sleep

is a very good tonic before going for public speaking.

If one is speaking about a subject of his study or practice, one should strive to have

unequivocal scholarship in the field. It is very difficult to impress the audience who are in

the same field if the speaker has gaps in his/her own knowledge. It is true that one can

never know all the things of the subject, but one must keep abreast in the field. Hegde

(1995) suggests that it is always profitable to be honest about question- answer sessions.

When the speaker does not know a correct answer, s/he should not hesitate to say 'no'

rather than misguiding the audience, and as a result, giving a bad impression. Any subject
 MANAGEMENT THROUGH INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS 37

must be simplified without loss of clarity and without any distortion. It is also suggested

that one should avoid agreeing to speak on any subject on which one has superficial and

contradictory opinions.

Humour is the essence of any speech. Monotonous humourless speeches do not go

down well with the audience. Humour also is a keep awake drug during the speech. Two

important aspects of humour have to be borne in mind while speaking in public. The

speaker should have enough time to tell a joke and the timing of the joke must be accurate.

If one is in a hurry to finish the speech, it is better to avoid a joke. Similarly, the joke

should come in at the right juncture to be really appreciated. Sir Winston Churchill in one

of his speeches said, “there are three important things in a good speech. They are - who

says it, how he says it, and what he says”. Of the three, the last is the least important. It is

believed that a good joke, which is relevant at the beginning and at the end of any speech,

enhances the quality of a speech. Laughing with the audience after a joke gives many

relaxations for the speaker who is usually tense during his/her speaking commitment.

Finally, every speaker must be prepared for the worst to happen any time and should

never get depressed, if things do not go the way the speaker wanted. It is better to

remember that there is something to laugh about everyday, even if it is only about oneself.

A speaker should never lose his/her enthusiasm as Emerson rightly said, 'nothing great

was ever achieved without enthusiasm.'

Conclusions
Communication has to do with the exchange of ideas, information or signals between

persons. Communication skills require a positive attitude, ability to express effectively and

good listening habits. The most basic level of communication is intrapersonal, involving

the sending and receiving of messages within one individual. In other words, what we

think about ourselves has a strong influence on our communicative behaviours. An

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individual's intrapersonal communication must be considered in any analysis of

interpersonal communication situations.

Interpersonal communication is the sharing of feelings and ideas with other people.

Skills related to context, timing, clarity, open listening, feedback, nonverbal behaviours

and interpersonal attraction combine to determine how successfully meaning is conveyed

in a dyadic or group communication. Individuals having good communicative abilities are

liked by others and are often successful in their attempts.

There are certain myths about communication which require proper rethinking. For

example, many people believe that all the problems of this world are communication

problems in one way or the other. But this is not true, individuals differ in their attitudes,

beliefs, and values, and that lead them to behave in different ways. These different patterns

of behaviour often cause problem in human relationships.

The way we move, our use of eye contact, touching behaviours, how we position

ourselves relative to others, and our outward appearance and dress all communicate

nonverbally but without the use of sound. Coding and decoding of nonverbal

communication with cultural contexts is an important aspect of communication

behaviours. Thus in communication, much is transmitted through nonverbal actions. When

we communicate, we do so both with intent and without it. A great deal of what we

transmit unintentionally is done so through nonverbal means. It is important to remember

that both verbal and nonverbal communication should work together. Good

communicators will attempt to control their nonverbal messages so that they will reinforce

the verbal message.

Researches are full with the study of gender differences in verbal and nonverbal

communication. For examples, gender partly determines a person’s choice of distance, eye

contact, touching behaviours, and body movement in an interaction. A good

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communicator will understand properly the communication behaviours of males and

females with the cultural context.

Speaking in public is an art. One should be very specific in selecting the topic, place,

and time, etc. before going for public presentation. Anxiety in relation to public speaking

is quite natural. In public communication, the role of the audience is vital when one is to

make a public presentation. So, the monotonous and insipid speeches are not well received

by the audience. To make the speech interesting, one can tell a joke, but it should come in

at the right juncture to be really appreciated.

Finally, someone has very rightly said, "to be born a gentleman is an accident, but to

die a gentleman is an achievement". To become a gentleman, a successful orator, a good

teacher or a good husband /wife, a father or a son, it is believed that one must learn the art

and science of effective communication. This will help individuals not only to have good

relationships with others, but also to lead a meaningful and successful life.

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