Pauline Berkowitz

April 2011
Mr. Hoffner Psych Lit
Sons and Lovers Essay

Throughout the course of the novel, Sons and Lovers, author D.H.

Lawrence explores three important relationships. The most dominating

relationship in the book is that of Gertrude Morel, and her son Paul.

This unnatural relationship amongst mother and son is one which

seems to become increasingly romantic, suggesting the Oedipus

complex. Paul’s detrimental relationship with his mother often affects

his judgment and ultimately dooms his two other major romantic

relationships he has in the novel. Both Miriam and Clara, two very

different women, will not be able to please Paul, either emotionally or

sexually because of Paul’s devotion to his mother.

All through Paul’s life, his mother, Gertrude, was always present.

Her relationship with her husband Walter was an unhealthy one due to

his alcoholism. As a result of this, Gertrude puts all of her focus and

energy on her sons, Paul and William, smothering them. As Paul

matures, so does his relationship with his mother and it becomes

harder for him to break free from his mother’s close grasp. D.H.

Lawrence is able to enforce the use of the Oedipus complex by

emphasizing Paul’s profound hate for his father, a man essentially

shunned from the family, emotionally of course.

 Paul’s first love is Miriam Leivers, an extremely religious and

virginal girl with whom he shares a very spiritual and sensitive

relationship. The awkwardness of their relationship is stemmed by both

Miriam’s fear of physical intimacy and Gertrude’s interference and ever

presence in Paul’s life. By the time they have been together for several

years, the two still feel uncomfortable kissing, let alone holding hands,

so they refrain from doing so.

Gertrude, who is told everything by her son, often feels

threatened at the thought of Paul and Miriam being alone together so

often. Miriam, both very intelligent and beautiful is very independent,

which makes Paul feel subordinate. Gertrude’s domination in her

relationship with Paul causes a great deal of tension in his relationship

with Miriam. Paul sometimes hates Miriam and wishes to be with his

mother.

Another conflict in their relationship is Miriam’s unwillingness to

“give herself” to Paul. Her mother raised her to believe that sex is one

of the most burdening aspects of marriage. Once she finally loses her

virginity to Paul, she does so reluctantly and sacrificially. Paul feels

that the relationship can go no further and because he finds no natural

response from Miriam after they have sex he is forced to breakup with

her.

Fortunately for Paul, he is able to reconcile with Miriam’s friend,

Clara Dawes. Clara, who is much different from Miriam, is

characterized as extremely independent and intelligent. Her

independence is often shown by bringing up the fact that she left her

husband. Unlike Miriam, Clara’s attraction to Paul is purely physical

and Paul is able to get the sexual fulfillment he was always lacking

when with Miriam.

Although Gertrude is upset at the notion of Paul being with

another woman, she is less threatened because Paul is not attached to

Clara spiritually as he was with Miriam. As their relationship

progresses, Paul is again dissatisfied with Clara and begins to resent

her a little. Likewise, Clara is unhappy with their impersonal

relationship and tries to dominate and possess him personally the

same way Miriam did. Paul intern realizes that Clara should be with her

husband, Baxter, and leaves her.

Gertrude’s possession of Paul throughout the whole novel proves

crippling to the health of his romantic relationships with both Miriam

and Clara. Paul can never be completely fulfilled, whether it’s sexually

with Miriam, or spiritually with Clara. His complete love and devotion

ultimately lies with his mother. However, at the end of the novel, Paul

veers away from the idea of the Oedipus complex by speeding up his

mother’s death in intentionally overdosing her. Although he is

physically free from the grips of his mother, will he be strong enough

to break free at last from her and find happiness in a healthy romantic

relationship?