New Angle On Writing (Semester 2)

New Angle
on Writing
Semester 2
11 Sentence Forms
Put to Use in
Traditional
Rhetorical Essay
Forms, with Ample
Model Student
Compositions
Richard Dowling Stephen Watson
2HA Publishing
ISBN 978-0-9733822-6-6
Teachers and others are free to use all the charts and selections
from the book for educational purposes, but not for commercial
purposes or profit of any kind.
If you have any questions or suggestions, please email us at
2ha_sa@excite.com
Visit us also at our websites at
http://symphonicassemblage.org
http://newangleonwriting.org
Large portions of this book are excerpted from Dowling and

Watson’s 2 volume The Two Hands Approach to the English
Language: a Symphonic Assemblage published in Feb. 2010
Cover design and interior layout and graphics by stedawa
Black and white photos of nature, buildings, or objects by and

used with the permission of Steve Garrigues.
© 2010 Richard Dowling and Stephen Watson

Two Hands Approach Publishing
© 2HA Publishing
Contents
 Semester 2 
Part 1 – Introduction
1. Introduction to New Angle on Writing (Semester 2) ....................................1
2. Sample Lesson and Activity Plan Outline .............................................2
3. 12 Turns of the English Language ............................................................6
4. 12 Kinds of Words........................................................................................ 7
5. 5 Jobs of the 12 Kinds of Words ...............................................................8
6. Graphic Representation of the 5-Level Sentence Architecture ......9
7. Samples Illustrating the 5-Level Architecture of the Sentence .... 10
8. Complete Review of 11 Sentence Forms with 127 Sub-Forms........11
Part 2 – Forms of the Paragraph and Essay

9. The Writing Course or Path .................................................................. 45
10. 5 Conceptual Tools Useful When Writing ........................................47
11. Introduction to the Paragraph and Student Essays on the
Paragraph..................................................................................................... 49
12. Creative Writing Process and Student Essays on It .................... 69
13. 3 Keys for Effective Organization of Essays........................................97
14. Effective Writing and Criteria for Good Style.................................. 98
Alliterative Participles, Nouns, and Adjectives for Attitudes
of the Writer and Style................................................... 98
Motto for Writing and Writing Style Tips...................... 101
5 Hallmarks of Good Writing .............................................102
Rubrics for Rating Compositions ......................................105
Traditional Rhetorical Essay Forms in Sets of 3 .............107
15. Professional Model and Student Essays of the following Classical
Essay Forms:
Narrative ....................................................108
Descriptive ................................................129
Comparative ............................................. 141
16. Instructions, Model, & Student Essays of theCharacterSketch.....158
17. Preface on Importance of Autobiography and Student
Autobiographies...................................................................................... 175
18. Student Final Free-Form Exam Essays ...........................................214
19. Remaining Forms of the Essay – Classical and Contemporary . 239
20. Examples and Features of the 5 Prevalent Essay Forms ..............240
21. 2 Academic and Journalistic Short or Extended Essay Forms ...242
22. Models of Thought to Show Thought Path .....................................248
23. Writing a Critical Review.....................................................................250
24. 8 Methods of Analyzing an Essay ......................................................251
25. Parting Thoughts about the Essay......................................................252
26. Continuing to Write All Through Life..............................................259
27. Bibliography .............................................................................................. 261
28. Biographical Notes on the Authors ....................................................267
Introduction
This book is the companion and sequel volume to our
initial volume, New Angle on Writing. New Angle on Writing
introduced our method of teaching new students to write
effective prose through mastery of the 11 Universal Forms
of the Sentence. It showed students how to incorporate
those forms into paragraphs of varied lengths using
excellent student paragraphs as models to emulate. The
initial New Angle on Writing constituted the first semester of a
one year writing course. This volume constitutes the second
semester of the one year course.
This book will continue encouraging students to
employ the 11 Universal Sentence types but now as
incorporated in the traditional rhetorical forms of
expository, narrative, descriptive, and comparative
essays in addition to a character sketch and
autobiography. Once again, we provide as part of our
instruction excellent model compositions for students to
emulate.
We begin this book by repeating the Charts of the
initial volume of the 11 Universal Sentence Forms with
their sub-forms and a few accompanying examples of all
the forms. This book assumes that readers have learned
and digested the material in the initial volume.
As we did with the initial volume, we provide a sample
set of lesson plans for teachers and students to follow
when conducting the course.
1
Sample Lesson and Activity Plan Outline
T= teacher, S = student, para=paragraph ex=example, ‘ =
minutes, hwk = homework, Ass. = Assignment, E.=English,
exs =examples
Review of 11 Universal Sentence Forms
Ss should review
1 hr – students write an initial
11 Universal
composition of 4 or 5 paragraphs in which
1 Sentence Forms,
they notate and footnote 10 to 15 varied
especially ones
examples of 11 forms of the sentence and
that they are
their sub-forms
unsure of.
T collects the papers.
T redistributes papers from class#1 to their
respective author, and then divides the class
Ss type up
2 into groups to peer review and suggest revisions
the revised
for the various papers. This establishes the
paper.
routine of initial draft, peer review, and
rewriting of initial draft.
Ss submit typed revised and initial draft papers
Ss do a
to T.
homework
T introduces the ideas and examples of
3 assignment in
sentence combing from William Strong’s book
one of Strong’s
(or other similar books). Ss share at the board
book for next
their various combinations of sentence and
class.
discuss which combinations are the best.
Divide Ss into groups again, and have them
agree on the best combination of sentences Ss do a homework
4 individually and as a whole in the homework assignment in one
assignment. Then have the various groups of Strong’s book
read out loud or place on the board their for next class.
agreed upon final selection.
Divide Ss into groups again, and have them
agree on the best combination of sentences Ss do a homework
5 individually and as a whole in the homework assignment in one
assignment. Then have the various groups of Strong’s book
read out loud or place on the board their for next class.
agreed upon final selection.
T explains freewriting (Graves – “quick
Ss edit and rewrite
6 writes”) and has students write freely
the freewriting at
on a topic of their own choice for an
home
hour.
2
Ss share freewriting in groups for Ss type up final version
7
peer feedback, reading both the of freewriting (4 copies
initial and revised copy. for peer review)
Ss hand in both initial draft and
Ss edit and type up new
final version of freewriting.
8 version of focused
Ss nominate 3 topics to write
composition (4 copies
about, and then tell them to write
for peer review)
freeform about 1 of the 3 topics.
Peer review of typed composition
9 Retype the final version
for each group member (3 to 5 in a
based on group feedback.
group.
Ss had in initial, second, and final versions of
10 focused composition. Review Writing
T and Ss read about The Writing Course or Path Course or Path
(page 41 to 44)
T and Ss read Essay Assignment 1: Ss write an
about Paragraph expository essay of 5 or more paragraphs
11 (p.45) and the on the history, purpose, form, features,
instructions for and kinds of paragraphs, notating and
Essay footnoting a representative selection of
Assignment 1. the 11 Forms of the sentence;
Ss bring enough copies for Ass.1 (typed) for all
Ss prepare
Ss and T.
12 final version
Read essay about the paragraph and edit them
of Ass.1 (1
in class, asking Ss to make suggestions and T
copy for T)
also adds input.
Ss submit Ass. Essay Assignment 2: Ss write an expository
1 to T. essay of 5 or more paragraphs on The Writing
T and Ss read about Course outlined in class which covers, among
13 Process Essay (p.65) other things, the Writing Situation, the Writing
and the instructions Process, and Thesis Formation in essay writing,
for Essay notating and footnoting a representative
Assignment 2. selection of the 11 Forms of the Sentence;
Ss bring enough copies for Ass.2 (typed) for all Ss and
Ss prepare final
14 T.
version of Ass.2
Read essay about the paragraph and edit them in
(1 copy for T)
class, asking Ss to make suggestions. T adds input.
Ss submit Ass. 2 to T. Essay Assignment 3: Ss write a
15 T and Ss read about Narrative essay, notating and
Narrative Essay (p.104) footnoting a representative
and the instructions for selection of the 11 Forms of the
3
Essay Assignment 3. Sentence;
Ss bring enough copies for Ass.3 (typed) for all Ss
Ss prepare final
16 and T.
version of Ass.3
Read Narrative essay and edit them in class,
(1 copy for T)
asking Ss to make suggestions. T also adds input.
Ss submit Ass. 3 to T. Essay Assignment 4: students
T and Ss read about write a Descriptive essay,
17
Descriptive Essay (p.125) notating and footnoting a
and the instructions for representative selection of the 11
Essay Assignment 4. Forms of the Sentence;
Ss bring enough copies for Ass.4(typed) for all
Ss and T. Ss prepare final
18
Read Descriptive essay and edit them in class, version of Ass.4
asking Ss to make suggestions. T also adds (1 copy for T)
input.
T and Ss read about write a Comparative essay,
19
Comparative Essay (p.137) notating and footnoting a
and the instructions for representative selection of the
Essay Assignment 5. 11 Forms of the Sentence;
Ss prepare final
20 Ss and T.
version of Ass.5
Read Comparative essay and edit them in class,
(1 copy for T)
asking Ss to make suggestions. T also adds input.
21 T and Ss read about Character write a Character Sketch, using
Sketch Essay (p.153) and the narration, description,
instructions for Essay Assignment 6. definition, and example;
Ss prepare
Ss and T.
22 final version
Read Character Sketch essay and edit them in
of Ass.6(1
class, asking Ss to make suggestions. T also
copy for T)
adds input.
T and Ss read about write an Autobiography using
23
Autobiography Essay (p.171) and narration, description,
the instructions for Essay classification, and Cause and
Assignment 6. Effect;
Ss bring enough copies for Ass.7 (typed) for all Ss prepare
24
Ss and T. final version
Read Autobiography essay and edit them in of Ass.7 (1
4
class, asking Ss to make suggestions. T also copy for T)
adds input.
Do any catching up or Other activity Ss find some fave
25 such as Formspotting, Ss fave passages passages and
and why they like them mentioning prepare copies,
their qualities of good writing presentation
Ss continue to present their Ss find some fave passages
26
fave passages in groups or to and prepare copies,
the whole class presentation
27 Ss present their fave passages in groups
or to the whole class
28 Open
29 Open
Final Free-Form Exam – Ss nominate 5

30 topics, choose 1, write on it footnote
free (no footnotes required) for 2
hours
T can compare Class #1 composition with Class #30 composition. How
much has the S improved?
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
Configuration of 7 Coordinating
Conjunctions in 3 Rows
(for ease of memory)
association/opposi
And But tion
Or Nor choice
Ye cause/consequence
For So / elegant
t opposition
The 7 Coordinating Conjunction are ordered

logically in 3 groups:
I. Association and Opposition
(a) And –The Association Coordinating
Conjunction;
(b) But – The Opposition Coordinating
Conjunction
II. Choice
(c) Or –The Positive Choice Coordinating
Conjunction;
(d) Nor – The Negative Choice Coordinating
Conjunction
III. Cause, Consequence, Elegant
Opposition
(a) For –The Cause Coordinating
Conjunction;
(b) So – The Result or Consequence
Coordinating Conjunction
(c) Yet – The Elegant Opposition
Coordinating Conjunction
18
19
Adverbial Conjunctions Configured
as the 3Cs and a T for Ease of
Memory
The 15 Adverbial Conjunctions are conveniently arranged
in 4 groups which we can remember as CCCT or 3Cs and a
T.
CONDITIONAL CONCESSION
CAUSE or
TIME
HYPOTHETICAL (or Qualification)
when
if as
though while
once
because although -----------------
whether
since even before
unless
though after
until -----------------
since
20
21
The Usual Configuration of 10 with 3
Sets of 3 and One Alone by Itself
(for Ease of Memory)
person-place-
Who Where When time
order of
Why What How priority of
asking (high to
low)
That Which Whose order of

frequency
Whom (high to low)
There is an interesting observation here:

From the above 10 words, 9 of them (all except
That) can be used as question words.
All good writers – especially reporters and
journalists – must continually ask and answer
questions that contain these words.
Likewise, every person should ask these
questions about themselves.
22
23
24
9(PP) Semi-Colon Forms III
Two Difficult SEMI-COLONS
Separating Items in a Series
FIRST Separating Semi-Colon
Clearly divides items in a series in which one
or more items has a comma in it
 This Korean New Year I gave gifts to each member in
my family: to my brother, an organizer; to my mother, a
book she really wanted to read; to my father, a pen.
 Everyone brought something to help make the party a
success: Jim, his mp3 boom box; Jan, cabbage rolls; Han,
fruit punch; Colly, potato salad; Jansirani, idlis; Zooey, her
strobe light; and Jeff, board games.
9.sc8
 “Second, we have all the problems of a major zoo – care
of the animals; health and welfare; feeding and
cleanliness; protection from insects, pests, allergies, and
illnesses; maintenance of barriers; and all the rest.” M.
Crichton Jurassic Park
 Our collection… includes directions in assorted shapes
and sizes; handwritten or typed narratives; free-form, all-
too-creative maps with little stick figures, cars and
houses; on colored paper and white; some photocopied,
others dictated casually over the phone…” Anne Bernays
Take a Left Turn Onto Nowhere Street from Skwire Writing with a Thesis 10the ed.
SECOND Separating Semi-Colon

Clearly divides items in a series in which one
or more items has a comma in it
 The team’s success comes from training that pushes
one’s limits: a coach who inspires confidence and knows all
9.sc9 the strategies; team members who pour on the heat every
minutes of every game and workout.
 This exercise encapsulates my philosophy of education,
which is based on the word respect: respect between
student and teacher; respect for our cultural heritage;
and respect for our natural neighbors. Robert Bateman
Thinking Like a Mountain
25
26
27
28
29
30
31
32
33
34
35
Punctuation Marks for Middle of
Sentence
Recall our chart of the punctuation marks that are used to
demarcate additions:
Three Punctuation Marks to Set Off

Additions
Property
Punctuation Intended Literary
or
Mark Effect
Nickname
the used to highlight,
dash comment emphasize, or make
(non-list) with flair conspicuous the
addition
the used for regular,
comma comment ordinary, or mild
that clarifies emphasis
the whispers or very

comment slightly emphasizes
parenthesis the addition, almost
that
whispers as an afterthought or
an aside
36
37
38
39
40
41
42
43
44
The Writing Course or Path
Just as you have seen the survey of the whole of English with The
Twelve Turns of the English Language and the 11 Sentence Forms, so
also we provide at the outset of Composition Instruction an
overview of the composition process as a whole.
It is called the Writing Course or Path, meaning the path one must
run or traverse to win the prize – writing well. The course has a
definite beginning, middle, and end. There are 5 checkpoints or
stopping posts on the writing course which are identified with the
5 fingers of the right hand. Each of the 5 stopping posts can be
broken down into triads, or sets of three additional markers. This
means that there are altogether 15 things that must be understood
and mastered, but they break down in a logical and consistent
manner that is easy to reconstruct by thinking with little or no
rote memory required. They
present a clear mind map that
is easily retained by the mind
as an indelible image.
After reading through the next 3 pages together, students can be

encouraged to re-state each of the 5 checkpoints and the triads
using their own words or phrases.
The triad charts can be read vertically as well as horizontally.
45
46
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 
According to the modern paragraph pundit, Victor C. Pellegrino, the
notion of paragraphing was initiated by Scotland’s Alexander Bain in 1866.
By physically “parceling” groups of sentences that are related to a single topic,
the reader is notified that there will be a shift of topic once one reaches the
end of one paragraph and launches into the next.
Prior to this, sentences had been numbered, as we see in Pico’s Dignity of

Man, in the Bible, or other major sacred texts. Further clumping into chapters
made broader topics visible, yet between the numbered sentences and the
numbered chapters, there was still too much uninterrupted text. What was
needed were breaks in the text to separate ideas clearly, giving the reader
time to view and better control the flow and intensity of reading passage.
Because this book focuses primarily on the sentence and its building
blocks, it is not within our scope to describe in full detail about the paragraph.
Pellegrino in his A Writer’s Guide to Powerful Paragraphs offers a matchless,
scholarly treatment of 30 types of paragraphs. However, below, we provide a
brief sketch of the nature, characteristics, and types of paragraphs.
THE LOOK OR FORM OF THE PARAGRAPH

What is the look of a paragraph? It is a block of text, specifically
sentences, that deals with a single topic, such as the physical description of the
appearance of a person, place or thing, the causes and consequences of an
event that transpired, or the details of one day or part of a day in the life of an
individual.
There are two ways to show the appearance of a new paragraph. You
may either place an indentation of usually 3 to 7 spaces before the
paragraph as you see in this paragraph or else place a blank line between
paragraphs with no indentation, as you see below.
49
Paragraphs – like sentences – can vary in length, and there is no hard and fast
rule about the length of a paragraph. Traditionally, in most literature, on the
average, 5 to 8 sentences should be enough to develop a single idea. Longer
paragraphs may be hard to follow, as the reader goes through them, so they
may sometimes need to be divided into two or more smaller paragraphs.
TYPES OF PARAGRAPHS (JOBS OF PARAGRAPHS)

Paragraphs serve different functions. They break up a longer passage into
more manageable or digestible units, as stated above. A paragraph at the
beginning will introduce the main topic. And a paragraph at the end will
draw the discussion to a close. In between these two paragraphs, an array of
other paragraphs delves deeper into topics, unraveling each topic and
contemplating it point by point. We call these body paragraphs. Other
paragraphs may serve no other function than offering a bridge between two
ideas, one in the preceding paragraph and the other in the subsequent
paragraph. These are transition paragraphs. And, finally, we have single-
sentence paragraphs that want to show off or be shown off. By isolating them,
the writer gives notice to the reader that more than usual attention should be
given to them.
CHARACTERISTICS OF GOOD PARAGRAPHS
Unity – there should be a single main idea around which the

whole paragraph revolves
Coherence – the clear presentation of the main supporting

sentences of the central or main theme
Cohesion – the adhesion or proper and natural linkage of

sentences with one another
To achieve Unity, the paragraph should state its main idea, usually
at or near the beginning, and stick to it. To achieve Coherence, the
supporting ideas and sentences should fit or belong together and be
presented in a meaningful and logical way. The reader should quickly
50
perceive the logic or order of presentation, which could for example be
chronological, spatial, or general to specific. No sentence should appear
disjointed or off topic. To achieve Cohesion, the sentences themselves
should be linked, and this is achieved through the use of repetition, the
use of a noun synonym or pronoun for an already mentioned noun, and
the use of adverbial conjunctions and what Pellegrino calls transitional
words and expressions.
In his excellent book A Writer’s Guide to Transitional Words and

Expressions, Pellegrino methodically compiles into convenient
categories more than 1000 such words and phrases. Another of his
books, A Writer’s Guide to Using 8 Methods of Transition presents
suggestions on how to make transitions depending on the type of
argument or “attack” given in the paragraph, such as comparison,
concession, contrast, repetition, or summary.
Modern-day newspapers may appear to deviate from this rule, and

in fact they do. Newspaper stories are written with very frequent
paragraph breaks and look more like a running commentary by the
journalist, or a kind of script of their spoken words. Since people read
newspapers often while on the move, and their concentration span may
be subject to interruption frequently, the size of the portion served in
newspaper stories (the size of the paragraph) is smaller.
51
52
Instructions:
Paragraphs are visual aids to help the reader follow the flow of
thought of the writer. As we can see, they are like arrows,
indicating a kind of crossroads, pointing onwards to a
particular destination.
Students are instructed to compose and codify a short composition

that describes the functions, types, and peculiar features of
paragraphs, using a variety of sentence forms learned thus far.
By organizing and explaining the how to and the why of the

paragraph, the student is now venturing into writing longer essays,
and more particularly, in this case, into the form of an expository
essay.
Initially, when we assigned students to write short paragraphs,

we first asked them to read an extended exposition about
paragraphs in one of the editions of the Little Brown Handbook or
another textbook as preparation. Next, we lectured about
paragraphs and discussed their chief features in class – stressing
unity, coherence, and cohesion specifically.
Then, once students completed learning and writing the 11

sentence forms and incorporating them into short paragraphs, we
asked that they review the earlier exposition they read in the Little
Brown or other textbook and proceed to write an essay that
summarized what they read – in the process (1) defining what a
paragraph is; (2) stating and explaining the chief features and
characteristics of paragraphs; (3) describing the different kinds of
paragraphs and their roles in essays; (4) noting how to organize
and link paragraphs together; (5) and telling , if possible, something
about the history of the paragraph. Moreover, in the essay they
were required to write a representative selection of the 11 sentence
forms and to notate and footnote the sentence forms they used.
53
Why did we give this assignment? Well , for five reasons: (1) if
students have to write a summary, it insures that they will read the
assigned exposition for sure and more carefully the second time;
(2) it requires students to summarize by paraphrasing and
restating what they read in their own words and using specified
sentence forms which must be written by themselves; (3) when the
various essay summaries are read out loud and corrected in class, it
enables students to see that different good versions can be written
about the same topic, with some versions particularly excelling in
explaining some points or aspects while doing less well on other
points and aspects; (4) students can see the various uses and
benefits of employing the same basic 11 sentence forms on the
same topic; and (5) they will thoroughly understand everything
about paragraphs by the end of the exercise.
Below are 7 student essays written in response to the

assignment. They do a competent job of completing the assignment.
None address the issue of the history of the paragraph because that
was not part of their assignment, but a new issue that we have
added here in case teachers would like to have their students write
essays modeled after those below but adding this new required
component.
Some instructors may feel no need to assign their students to

write a similar essay, but they might like to have their students
discuss, individually or in groups, which of the 9 essays below is
best, in what respects, and why. If students agree in their selections,
they may be able to develop their own criteria for excellence as a
standard. If they fail to agree, they may discover that there is more
than one way to write a good version of the same essay which may
free them to be more willing to try alternative options in their own
writing with corresponding less fear of experimenting or possible
failure in their writing.
Finally, for this and subsequent assignments, we do not list

exhaustively all the sentence forms used by students. The first four
essays below notate and footnote a representative sample of
sentence forms used by students. The last three essays are
54
presented for direct reading without any notated or footnoted
forms. All together, such a sample is adequate to demonstrate the
value of the Sentence Forms without undue overload.
ESSAY PARAGRAPH Construction

by Gereld Malec
What’s in a paragraph you say? Your first response may
be, “Who cares? A paragraph is only there to break up
the words now and then.” 1 Well, you’re pretty much
right, but keep in mind the paragraph serves a higher
purpose in the written essay. Bear in mind, too, there
are many ways to construct them.2
The paragraph groups related sentences together to
form ideas; it forms ideas tying into others; it gives your
reader places to take breaks.3 Paragraphs signal key
changes in your thesis, and help you, the writer, and
your reader organize and clarify ideas, thoughts, and
insights.4 You can use paragraphs to introduce points
supporting your essay’s central idea, to introduce key
examples, shift focus, or illustrate a problem and
solution.
Every paragraph usually has in it a topic sentence – a
sentence that gives you the gist of the paragraph itself.5
While you would generally use a topic sentence at the
beginning, you can also place it in the middle, or on the
end of the paragraph to create certain effects.
A topic sentence at the beginning is a road sign: it gives
you a brief glance at what you’ll find in the paragraph
itself.6 Placing the topic sentence at the end makes your
readers first view the facts, form their thoughts, and
then hopefully arrive at the same conclusion normally
stated in a beginning topic sentence.7 So why place the
topic sentence at the end? Because by doing so you can
build suspense and interest, and then end by placing
the topic sentence in the power position of maximum
attention at the end of the paragraph.
55
Sometimes, the central idea isn’t really stated at all in
the paragraph – it’s obvious. This style of meshing the
topic sentence in the mix of the paragraph is widely
used in dramatic or descriptive writing.8
When you begin scripting out your essay, it can be
difficult to tell how each paragraph will unfold once the
writing juices kick in.9 But once you do get your
thoughts out, and have a pretty good idea where your
paper is heading, don’t look at it for at least a half-hour.
Take your mind off of it completely. Take a coffee
break.10 BS with friends, but don’t be too long about it.
Once you’ve given yourself a breather, you can begin
revising your paragraphs for clarity with a fairly fresh
frame of mind. See, wasn’t this a good transitional
paragraph?11 It gave you a break, didn’t it?
When you sit back down to revise, you’re looking to give
your paragraphs a sense of unity and coherence. What I
mean by this is that each paragraph will contain
sentences tying into one another, supporting your
essay’s main idea, tying into the next paragraph, and so
on.12
But more times than not, many paragraphs are written
with choppy and incomplete sentences which do more to
confuse your reader than to help them follow along with
what you’re trying to say. So when you go to revise your
essay, really give each paragraph a good going over.
Read out loud to yourself to see where you can possibly
use parallel structures, repeat words, or restate words
or word groups, pronouns, and transitional
expressions.13
Just as you want to check your paragraphs for clarity,
you should also look at how you want to organize them
as well.14 You can organize them by using space and
time, focusing your reader’s attention on one point and
then scanning a person, object, or scene from that
point. You can also organize for emphasis, or use a
general-to-specific scheme, writing your paragraphs to
where the topic sentence comes first with the following
sentences becoming increasingly specific. As you begin
56
to hammer out the details, you can further remind your
reader of what your piece is about by repeating or
restating words or word groups.15 And to give it that
extra flair, you can try using some pronouns to give it
more personality.
Wow!16 You’ve done it!17 You’ve completed your essay
except for one last thing – the closing paragraph. It can
be hard to put the wraps on a subject, so here are a
couple of helpful strategies to help you do just that.18
Try giving a symbolic or powerful fact or other detail.19
And a popular way to do so, depending on the essay, is
to try recommending a course of action, or restating
your thesis and its implications. What you don’t want to
do is cop out and simply restate your introduction, or
start off in a new direction altogether.20 You also don’t
want to apologize, or make disclaimers trying to state
why your paragraph wasn’t as strong as it should have
been, or why it lacked details.
Hopefully, this piece has given you some insight on the
importance of paragraphs and their uses; therefore, you
can go about using these pointers to write an effective
essay.21 And if you look back at your textbook, if you
review your notes, if you ask your instructor for
guidance, you can’t go wrong. Good luck, and happy
writing.
Sentence Forms (a representative few, a kind of
formspotting):
1) 10TP E Quotation; 3V Infinitive; 2S The Pair
2) 11ADD Beginning Verb; 10TP M Word; 3V Infinitive
3) 3V Past Participle; 3V Infinitive (2); 9PP Trio Semicolon;
3V Present Participle
4) 11ADD Compound Verb (2); 2S Standard Series
5) 9PP Dash M Appositive; 8RN That
6) 9PP Explanation Colon; 8RN What
7) 3V Gerund; 3V Infinitive missing to; 2S Standard Series;
3V Past Participle
8) 3V Gerund; 2S Choice Series
9) 7AC When; 3V Gerund; 3V Infinitive; 8RN How; 7AC
When
57
10)11ADD Beginning Verb
11)11ADD Beginning Verb; 1ADD Question
12)8RN What; 8RN That; 3V Present Participle (3); 2S Triple
Force
13)11ADD Beginning Verb; 3V Infinitive; 11ADD Compound
Verb; 2S Choice Series; 2S Standard Series extended
14)4C Just As, So; 3V Infinitive (2); 8RN How
15)7AC Asl 3V Infinitive; 8RN What; 3V Gerund (2); 2S
Choice Series (2)
16)11ADD Exclamation using Other kind of word;
17)11ADD Exclamation
18)3V Infinitive (2); 6CC So
19)11ADD Beginning Verb; 2S Choices Series
20)8RN What; 3V Infinitive; 11ADD Compound; 2S Choice
Series
21)10TP B Word; 2S The Pair; 9PP Expansive Semicolon; 3V
Present Participle; 3V Infinitive
WRITING AND REVISING PARAGRAPHS

BY RICO MENDIOLA
To make something look more organized, it is best to
separate items into groups.1 For example, if you want to
organize your clothes, you might put underwear and
socks in one drawer, jeans and sweatpants in another
drawer, and shirts and shoes in your closet.2 The same
is true when you are writing an essay. By separating
your topic into paragraphs, you can make your essay
look more organized and well-written. A paragraph is a
group of related sentences separated from all other
sentences. In an essay, paragraphs are used to shift
from one supporting idea of the essay’s thesis to another
supporting idea.3 There are five very important factors
you must know to ensure that you write paragraphs
effectively in your essays.
The first factor is maintaining paragraph unity.
Paragraph unity is achieved by stating a point and
58
explaining that one point to the reader.4 Just as your
essay should focus solely on one specific point (your
thesis), so too your paragraphs should focus on one
point.5 The main point of a paragraph is revealed in its
topic sentence, which can be positioned at the beginning
of a paragraph or at the end. If your topic sentence
appears at the beginning of a paragraph, details
supporting the topic sentence should follow.6 This
catches your reader’s attention, and it effectively
explains your paragraph. If your topic sentence is at the
end, you give the reader all supporting evidence first,
and then give the general statement that the evidence
supports. Sometimes details are given in a paragraph,
but the topic sentence is not stated; therefore, it is
implied. 7
The second factor is paragraph coherence. A paragraph
is coherent if a reader can easily understand how the
sentences in a paragraph are related without having to
read them again.8 You can achieve paragraph
coherence in six ways. First, you must organize your
paragraph properly. You can organize paragraphs by
putting details in order – order of occurrence, order of
appearance, or in order of importance.9 Second, you
can use parallel structures, which use similar
grammatical structures for similar elements of meaning.
Thirdly, you can make your paragraph coherent by
repeating words and word groups, thus reminding your
reader of the topic.10 The fourth way to achieve
coherence is to use pronouns. This helps the reader
relate the sentences. The fifth way is to be consistent. If
your paragraph takes place in the past, then all verbs
should be in the past tense. Lastly, use specific words or
word groups to relate sentences whose relationships
may not be clear.
The third factor in writing good paragraphs is to develop
them. You can develop and complete a paragraph by
giving specific facts and evidence. You can also do so by
using certain patterns. Narration is a pattern that retells
how something happened.11 Description tells in detail
how something looks, sounds, feels, smells, or tastes.12
59
Illustration and support are patterns that give examples
or reasons of an issue. Definition is a pattern that
exactly explains what something is. Division and
analysis are patterns that list parts or characteristics of
an issue. Classification lists groups of categories of a
subject. Comparison and contrast are patterns showing
similarities or differences of two related topics. Analogy
is a pattern you can use to compare one issue to
another issue that is more familiar to the reader. Cause-
and-effect analysis shows the reason for something or
how something works by using the process analysis
pattern. You can use one of these patterns to develop
your paragraph, or you can combine patterns.
The fourth factor is using special kinds of paragraphs
that serve special functions: to introduce an essay, to
conclude an essay, to show emphasis or transition, to
show spoken dialogue.13 An introductory paragraph in
an essay is a usually short paragraph, which grabs your
reader’s attention to your subject, states your topic,
implies your attitude concerning the subject, and often
states your thesis. A conclusion paragraph completes an
essay and can contain a summary of the essay, a call to
action, or an echo of your thesis.14 It lets the reader
know that you are finished writing, and the reader can
draw his or her own conclusions afterwards. An
emphatic paragraph stresses an idea or point strongly,
so the reader might stop and really think about that
idea before continuing. A transitional paragraph shifts
your audience’s attention when your essay makes a
significant turn. In dialogue, new paragraphs show that
a different person is speaking.15
The last factor to writing paragraphs is properly and
effectively linking them. There are four ways to ensure
that your paragraphs are correctly linked. One way is to
make sure each paragraph contributes to your thesis.16
Paragraphs cannot stand on their own, for they are part
of a whole. Another way to link paragraphs properly is
to keep a consistent overall pattern of development for
your essay. A third way is to arrange your paragraphs in
some kind of order. The final way to correctly link your
60
paragraphs is to repeat key terms in your paragraphs to
create an easily understood connection between
them.17
Maintaining paragraph unity, achieving paragraph
coherence, developing each paragraph, using special
paragraphs, and linking paragraphs properly – these are
the five factors needed to write paragraphs properly and
efficiently when writing an essay. If you take these
factors into account, if you use them correctly, if you
practice using them in your writing, then you will have
no trouble writing an organized essay.18 I have found
them extremely helpful.19
Sentence Forms (formspotting):
1) 10TP B Verbal Phrase Infinitive; 3V Infinitive
2) 10TP B Prepositional Phrase
3) 10TP B Prepositional Phrase; 3V Infinitive; 3V Past
Participle; 4C From to
4) 3V Gerund (2); 11ADD Compound Object of Preposition
using Verbal Gerunds
5) 4C Just As, So Too; 10TP M (Appositive Phrase)
6) 7AC If; 3V Present Participle
7) 6CC But; 9PP Expansive Semicolon
8) 7AC If; 8RN How; 3V Gerund
9) 3V Gerund; 9PP Dash E List; 5R Keyword; 2S Choices
10)10TP B Word; 3V Gerund; 2S The Pair; 10TP E Adverb
Phrase
11)8RN That; 8RN How
12)8RN How; 2S Choices Series extended
13)3V Gerund; 8RN That; 9PP Numeric Precursor; 3V
Infinitive (4)
14)11ADD Compound Verb; 2S Choices Series
15)10TP B Prepositional Phrase; 8RN That
16) 3V Infinitive
17)3V Infinitive (3)
18)7AC If (3);3V Gerund; 3V Present Participle; 3V Past
Participle
19)1F Object
61
WRITING PARAGRAPHS by Rita Bennett
“Different strokes for different folks.” This phrase is
representative of our diverse culture. We all differ from
one person to the next – our style of clothing, our
hairstyle, our lifestyle, and especially our style of writing
paragraphs.1 Some people might write well in the
narrative, which tells how or when something happened.
Some people might write well in the descriptive, which
tells in detail the tastes, smell, or feel of something or
someone.2 Some people might use the illustrative and
supportive style, which require examples and reasons.
Others might find that explaining and defining
something is their style.
There are three things that need close attention in
writing paragraphs: Unity, Coherence and Paragraph
connection.3
Paragraph unity is maintained when your topic is stated
and supplemented with supporting facts.4 The topic of
your paragraph can appear in the beginning of the
paragraph, with its supporting details following, or the
details can come first, followed by the topic. When the
topic is not clearly stated, the supporting facts that are
presented can imply the topic.
Paragraphs come together coherently when sentences
flow together with ease. This is achieved by the proper
use of pronouns, by the use of parallel structure (the
use in succession of a grammatical structure of words
with similar meaning), and by the use of words or group
of words repetitively.5 The previous sentence is a good
example of parallel structure and repetition. In this way,
the points are more clearly seen, noticed, and
understood.6
Linking your paragraphs to each other is a very
important part of developing your paragraphs.7 This is
obtained by making sure that the thesis of your essay is
apparent in all the paragraphs. Deviation from the main
thesis will break the link, and thus leave the paragraph
and the readers out in left field.8 Another way to reach
this objective is to use the same overall pattern
62
throughout your paragraph. Also, by arranging your
paragraphs in order of occurrence, order of appearance,
or order of importance, a clear connection between them
will be achieved.
Just as a movie or a story has a beginning and an
ending, so too must your essay.9 These paragraphs that
indicate the beginning and end of your essay are called
special paragraphs. Another special paragraph, the
transitional paragraph, can be used to shift your
reader’s attention to another focus without losing
them.10
The dialogue paragraph can be used to show that more
than one person is speaking.11 Special paragraphs
often provide an enticement in the beginning for the
reader to engage fully with the essay or develop further
lingering thoughts not fully developed in an earlier
paragraph.12
The style of your writing depends on your personal
preference: you can write funny essays or serious
ones.13 It doesn’t matter what style you choose; what
matters is that the paragraphs that you are writing
must maintain unity, must be coherent, and they must
connect to each other just like the caboose of a train. If
you don’t succeed at first, remember that practice
makes perfect.14
1) 9PP Dash E List; 5R Word; 2S Standard Series
2) 8RN Which; 2S Choices Series; 2S Choice Series
3) 9PP Numeric Precursor Colon
4) 7AC When; 11ADD Compound Verb; 3V Present
Participle
5) 2S Standard Series; 5R Word; 10TP M (Appositive
Phrase); 2S Choice Series
6) 10TP B Prepositional Phrase; 2S Standard Series
7) 3V Gerund (2)
8) 11ADD Compound Verb
9) 4C Just as, so too; 2S The Pair
10)3V Infinitive; 3V Gerund
11)3V Infinitive; 8RN That
63
12)3V Verbal Infinitive; 11ADD Compound Verb Main Verb;
3V Present Participle; 3V Past Participle
13)9PP Explanation Colon; 2S Choice Series
14)7AC If; 8RN That
WRITING AND RESOLVING PARAGRAPHS

by Brandie Stevens
Paragraphs are used for many things and many
different reasons. The definition of a paragraph is a
group of related sentences set off by an indentation or
extra spacing.1 They give people breathers, so it does
not feel as if they are being rushed through the paper.2
It does this by maintaining paragraph unity and
achieving paragraph coherence, developing the
paragraph and special kinds of paragraphs, and linking
paragraphs in the essay.3
Maintaining paragraph unity is very important. Readers
– your professor, anyone else who might read – expect a
paragraph to explore and clearly elaborate one idea
only.4 The paragraph needs to be focused on the central
idea. If the paragraph is going to be about the home run
made in last night’s game, it should not talk about the
home run Joe should have hit in 1960.5 The topic
sentence states what the paragraph is going to be about
to keep the writer from wandering. The central idea can
be stated in a topic sentence at the beginning or at the
end or not stated at all.
Another thing just as important as paragraph unity is
achieving paragraph coherence. When a paragraph can
hold together, it is unified. When the readers can see
how it holds together, it is coherent.6 The sentences in a
paragraph need to be related to each other, or they
cannot be read without having to stop and be reread.7
Coherence can be achieved by organizing effectively,
64
using parallel structures, repeating or restating words
or word groups, using pronouns, being consistent, and
using transitional expressions.
There are different ways a paragraph can be organized:
by space or time or emphasis.8 Spatially organizing
focuses readers’ attention on one point; readers can
scan a person or object or scene from that point.9
Organizing chronologically places elements in the order
of their occurrence in time from earliest to the most
recent. Ways to organize for emphasis include going
from general-to-specific, problem-to-solution, most
familiar-to-least familiar, simplest-to-most complex.10
Using parallel structures is another way to achieve
coherence; therefore, the structures help tie together the
paragraph by using similar grammatical structure for
similar elements of meaning among sentences.11
Parallelism does not necessarily have to be used in every
paragraph.
Repeating or restating words or word groups reminds
the readers what the topic is, and using pronouns – he,
she, it, they, who – helps relate sentences to one
another. But the most subtle way to achieve coherency
is being consistent.12 Readers seem to always pick up
on a lack of consistency. Inappropriate shifts that
happen the most are shifts in tense, shifts in number,
shifts in person.
Using transitional expressions – specific words and word
groups – can help connect sentences whose
relationships are not instantly clear.13 To see where
they might be needed in the paragraphs, one needs to
examine the flow from one sentence to the next.14
When there are abrupt changes – a shift from cause to
effect, a contradiction, a contrast – a transitional
expression is most likely needed. A transitional
expression can also be used between paragraphs.
When a person develops a paragraph, it sometimes is
lacking in detail.
65
Sensory details, facts, statistics, examples, quotations,
reasons – all are evidence that readers will expect to be
provided for statements made.15 Whatever helps to
provide evidence to reinforce and prove views and ideas
should be shared with readers.
Another way to help develop a paragraph is using a
pattern of development. How did it happen? Narration
can be used to tell about events, usually in
chronological order. Description is used to tell about
what something felt like, looked, smelled, sounded, or
tasted. It lets the readers sense what it was like. Giving
detailed examples or reasons can develop some ideas.
An idea can always be defined and classified into
different groups according to its parts tor
characteristics. Other patterns that can be used are
comparison and contrast, cause and effect, analogy and
process analysis. But also remember patterns used for
development can always be combined.
As with anything else, when developing a paragraph,
length counts. An average paragraph – 100 to 150 words
– is usually four to eight sentences, yet the actual length
depends on the topic, position in the essay, and role.
Very short paragraphs do not have enough substance
sometimes, and extremely long paragraphs sometimes
tend to wander or have two different topics. So, just
remember to revise and add or cut details and
information when needed.
Several paragraphs that do not follow the rules stated
previously are the essay introduction, the essay
conclusion, the transitional or emphatic paragraph, and
the paragraph of spoken dialogue.
The opening of an essay is one that draws the audience
in. A good one usually focuses attention on the subject
and arouses curiosity, specifies the topic and implies
the attitude, often states the thesis, and is concise and
sincere. Most essays also have a closing statement or
conclusion that signals the essay is finished. It can
consist of a single sentence or a group of sentences.
Another paragraph that can consist of one or more
66
sentences is the emphatic or transitional paragraph. It
lets the reader pause before moving on to an entirely
new topic. The last special paragraph is the dialogue
paragraph. New paragraphs – even if they are one or two
sentences – can let a reader know when one person
stops talking and the next one begins.
The last thing that needs to be done in an essay is
linking the paragraphs together. Each paragraph should
contribute to the thesis. They should also be arranged
in clear, logical order. Use repetition and restatement,
transitional expressions and sentences to create links
between paragraphs. All in all, the paragraphs need to
fit together to make the essay coherent and flow easily.
Paragraphs are the most essential parts of the essay.
One needs to know how to maintain paragraph unity
and achieve paragraph coherence, develop the
paragraph, use special kinds of paragraphs, and link
the paragraphs together to form a good essay.
1) 3V Past Participle; 2S Choice Series
2) 6CC So; 7AC As If supplemental
3) 3V Gerund (4); 2S The Standard Series; 2S The Pair
4) 9PP Dash M Appositive Phrase; 8RN Who; 3V Infinitive;
3V Infinitive missing to; 11ADD Compound Infinitive
5) 7AC If; 3V Infinitive; 8RN Missing that
6) 7AC When; 8RN How
7) 3V Infinitive (3); 6CC Or; 3V Gerund
8) 9PP List Colon; 2S Choices
9) 3V Gerund; 9PP Explanation Colon
10)3V Infinitive; 3V Gerund; 2S Triple Force extended
11)3V Gerund (2); 3V Infinitive; 9PP Expansive Semicolon;
3V Infinitive missing to
12)11ADD Beginning Conjunction; 3V Infinitive; 3V Gerund
13)3V Gerund; 9PP Dash M Appositive Series; 3V Infinitive
Missing to; 8RN Whose
14)3V Infinitive (2); 8RN Where; 4C From To
67
More on Types or Forms of the Paragraph
If an instructor wishes to provide students with additional
varied effective models of the types or forms of the paragraph
– à la narrative, descriptive, expository, process, etc – so that
students can practice writing those various types, there is no
better book to consult than Pellegrino’s A Writer’s Guide to
Powerful Paragraphs.
In fact, Pellegrino has done for the paragraph exactly

what the New Angle on Writing has done for the
sentence. The New Angle on Writing provides a systematic
definition and description of all the Forms of the Sentence,
with accompanying models, first with examples of isolated
sentences, and then above all, as incorporated in actual
paragraphs and essays. Likewise, Pellegrino provides a
systematic definition and description of all the types of
Paragraphs with accompanying models of all the
paragraphs.
Therefore, our book, the Pellegrino book, and the necessary

third component of the traditional definitions and descriptions
of Essay forms as narrative, descriptive, etc, provide altogether
– as a threesome and for the first time – entirely adequate and
effective models for every level and stage of writing instruction.
At long last, we have a complete and dramatically effective
writing program for all grades and levels of instruction.
68
69
70
71
72
INSTRUCTIONS
Since students have now studied The Writing Course or
Path and completed their own essays about the
Paragraph, they now have the task of writing an
exposition essay about The Writing Course or the Writing
Process as a whole, using the earlier chart about the
Writing Course as a guide.
Once again, they should employ various sentence forms

at their own discretion in their essay, notating and
footnoting a representative sample of the ones they
have used. Seven of the essays that follow show the
formspotting the students employed. We have left 4 of
the essays free of the form codes in case instructors and
students would like to use them as models on which to
practice Form identification.
Below is a second chart called The Writing Puzzle which

provides students another structural guide for writing
their essays. This is not a sequential, step-by-step guide;
instead, all 5 triads should be kept in mind,
concurrently as well as recursively, during the research
and writing sessions.
73
74
THE PUZZLE by Ronald Wright
When I was a young boy in school – elementary, junior
high, and high school – I didn’t like to write, nor did I
understand how the writing process worked. I couldn’t
care less about writers and poets, people like Richard
Wright, Charles Dickens, Daniel Defoe, Emily Bronte, or
even William Shakespeare.1 Writing never caught my
eye, my attention, my interest. I thought that writing
was as boring as sitting on the corner of a roof with my
arms out to my side, waiting for birds to come and land
on them. It wasn’t until I attended my fourth college (at
31 years of age, while being stationed at Chinhae, Korea
after being in the Navy for more than four-and-a-half
years) that I started getting into writing: the styles of
writing, the mechanics of writing, the emotions of
writing, and even the history of writing.2 I came to
realize that writing is full of thrills, full of delight, full of
inspiration.3 And, with the meticulous and numerous
ways of gathering information, this brought me to my
title – The Puzzle.
I didn’t want to write strictly on just how the writing
process worked; indeed, I wanted to write about how the
formative steps of writing go. When I write, it makes me
feel like I’m putting pieces of a puzzle together. Whoever
reads my writing will know exactly what my puzzle
means.4
This puzzle consists of five boundary areas: the writing
situation, the writing process, the thesis statement,
paragraph development, and essay organization.5 Each
boundary area has three pieces. The writing situation
focuses on the writer, knowing his or her subject, and
knowing his or her audience – starting to analyze the
puzzle before you put it together. The writing process
deals with pre-writing, involves making a rough draft,
and is like sorting pieces of the puzzle according to color
and edge shape. Proper drafting is when one imposes
limitations on the possibility conceived in the first draft,
and the essay begins to have order imposed on it.6 The
thesis talks about finding the big wave or theme from
75
ideas that roll in from the sea of facts. The paragraph
development addresses unity, coherence, and cohesion.
After the puzzle is put together, you then must look at it
and make sure that sentences make sense and go
together. Last but not least, we have the area essay
organization, where we check the beginning, the middle,
and the end, making sure that the puzzle overall is put
together properly and efficiently.
Now, you see why I call this paper The Puzzle because I
feel that if you can master a puzzle, I am not saying that
you’ll be a perfect writer, but you can now write a
decent report, a decent essay, and a decent
recommendation.7 Not everybody in life grows up
writing, but it’s never too late to work on becoming a
better writer or poet. I will always realize that writing –
just like puzzles – are not easy, but that practice makes
perfect, and that the more you write, the better you’ll be.
Puzzles are always fun.
Sentence Forms:
1) 10TP E Appositive Phrase
2) 9PP Explanation Colon
3) 5R Keyword
4) 8RN Whoever supplemental
6) 8RN When
7) 5R Keyword
THE WRITING COURSE by Rosemarie Ciccariello

Staring thoughtlessly and intently at the blank sheet of
paper, you may find yourself asking two questions:
where do I start and how do I begin?1 There is only one
simple answer to these questions – the writing course.
The writing course will effectively guide you in writing
that perfect paper you could only dream of writing. It is
a step by step process containing five parts: writing
situation, writing process, the thesis statement,
paragraph development, and essay organization. Once
76
you thoroughly master and understand each step, your
writing will dramatically improve.2
The first step, the writing situation, contains three parts:
the author, the subject, and the audience; these are all
linked to one another. The first obstacle you want to
overcome is finding what you want to write about. Not
only do you need to determine what to write about, but
you also need to determine whom you are writing to –
who is your audience? When deciding whom your
audience is, keep in mind the tone of the writing: the
attitude conveyed by you, the author; and the effect the
writing will have on your audience. If you don’t keep any
of this in mind, chances are your audience will be
offended and will cast your paper aside.3 Therefore,
make sure you have a complete understanding and
complete knowledge about whom your paper is directed
towards.
The writing process is the next step, and it consists of
three key factors: pre-writing, drafting, and re-writing.
The key to pre-writing is letting go of your mind and
writing down whatever comes to it, not excluding
anything. Everything counts, so span out in your
reading and thinking and devour more on your subject,
keeping notes and looking for emerging themes. Once
you finished pre-writing, you enter the drafting stage. In
this stage, you splurge; you stream with what you now
know; you run with the ball, trying of course to keep
within the pattern of the play and the important
material pertaining to your subject.4 Finally, the last
step is re-writing, and it takes time. In this final stage,
you are using the information gathered from the
previous steps and putting structure and organization
and detail in each idea.
After you finish the writing process, the next step is to
find and position your thesis statement. However, before
you determine the thesis, you will have to keep in mind
three things: the theme, the ideas, and the facts. First,
sort through what you previously wrote and relate it to
facts, statistics, quotations, or excerpts. Through all of
this, you will find a few ideas in your writing that are of
77
most importance; they will lead you in developing your
main ideas; they will lead you in developing your thesis
statement. Once you find your thesis, you can now
begin to write your paper in a reasonable manner.5 You
can do this by using your main ideas to support your
thesis and using the many facts to prove it.
The fourth step, paragraph development, has three
important features found within it: unity, coherence,
and cohesion. Every paragraph found within your
writing should be based solely on one topic or idea; this
is unity. If each sentence in your paragraph correlates
with one another, your paragraph has coherence. You
can do this by placing related ideas with similar related
ideas. Finally, cohesion involves having linkages and
transitions in your writing.6 From sentence to sentence
and paragraph to paragraph, everything should link to
one another, and you can do this with either transition
or linking devices.7
The final step is essay organization. You want to
organize your writing into three parts: the beginning,
the middle, and the ending. The beginning should
capture your audience; it should lure them in; it should
express to them what you are thinking; it should hint at
your main idea. The middle is where your story lies. It
has all the facts and information pertaining to your
main idea. It’s the heart of your essay. To make sure the
heart of your essay is strong, check for flowing
sentences and make sure transitions are effective from
paragraph to paragraph. The last part is the ending; it
should be short and sweet and to the point, relating to
the beginning. It should bring closure to your essay,
with a striking quotation or a statement of the
importance and further implications of your theme.8
Thanks to the Writing Process, you will no longer be
staring thoughtlessly at a blank sheet of paper,
struggling to find how to start your essay. The Writing
Process should have brought you greater knowledge and
an opportunity for you to write better. It gives you
insights into the five important parts to tackle when
writing – writing situation, writing process, thesis
78
statement, paragraph development, and essay
organization.
Sentence Forms:
1) 3V Present Participle
2) 7AC Once
3) 7AC If
4) 9PP Trio Semicolon
5) 3V Infinitive
6) 3V Gerund
7) 4C From to
THE WRITING COURSE BY DANIEL S. BREGAGLIO

Have you ever had problems writing an essay? I have
the perfect solution for you – the writing course.1 With
this simple and easy to use method, you can write an
outstanding paper. Using the five simple steps described
in this paper, you can achieve a higher level of standard
when writing an essay.
The first step in the writing course – the writing
situation – is a key step to writing a good essay. The
writing situation involves three main factors: the author,
the subject, and the audience. Not only must the author
know the subject, but also write as if he or she is going
to give a speech.2 Whether the paper is going to be
given as a speech or not, the author must write it as if it
will be. Whenever the composition is being read, the
reader should be able to hear and feel what the writer is
saying. The more the author identifies with the
audience, the more the audience will be able to relate to
him or her.3
The second step in the writing course – the writing
process – is a cyclic process. The writing process has
three steps: pre-writing, drafting, and rewriting. Before
the author can start pre-writing, he or she must open
up their mind, writing anything that comes into their
mind about the subject. Then the author must grab,
juggle, and organize all of the information that came
79
from pre-writing.4 This step is called drafting, and it’s
where the writer gets the basic outline. After the drafting
phase, it’s time to bring the paper to life. The re-writing
step is where one adds form, shape, and vitality to the
paper.5 This step of the writing process is very
important in writing; therefore, pay special attention not
to rush through this step.
The third step in the writing course – the thesis
statement – sorts through what the author has written.
This step brings together relevant facts, relevant
statistics, and relevant excerpts.6 There are three
different parts to this step: one theme, few ideas, and
many facts. The theme is the main subject that the
author is writing about, but make sure it’s not too
broad. Once you have decided your theme, you must
research, so that you can have some ideas about your
subject. One you’ve found some ideas, organize them all
and pick out the main ideas. As soon as all of the ideas
are organized, the author will be able to see whether or
not the main ideas go with the title or thesis. The sooner
the thesis is determined, the sooner the author will be
able to clearly introduce the theme. Introducing the
ideas to back up the theme is the next thing the author
should do.7 Finally, the writer should state all the facts,
statistics, and examples that prove and support the
ideas.
The fourth step in the writing course – paragraph
development – is where you insure the unity, coherence
and cohesion of your paper. Unity is when you make
sure your paragraph doesn’t have more than one topic.
If there is more than one topic, the author should split
the paragraph into two. Coherence is the part of
paragraph development where the author checks
whether or not the statements, facts, or ideas belong
together. It also checks how each paragraph contributes
to the essay. Cohesion is the way that sentences and
paragraphs link, attach, and transition between one
another.8 Transition is very important so that switching
from one paragraph to another proceeds smoothly.
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The fifth step in the writing course – essay organization
– is the final step in writing the paper. There are three
parts to essay organization: an opening, a body, and a
closing. The opening is very important; it is where you
will draw your reader in, so that the reader can know
what your paper is about. The opening is where you
should introduce your thesis.9 The body contains the
mass of the paper. There should be no useless,
irrelevant, unwanted information in the body. The body
should flow naturally and with ease; therefore, make
sure that all of the sentences and paragraphs transition
correctly. The closing should be short, and it should
bring the reader back to the opening. It should bring
together all the main ideas of the paper and reiterate the
main theme in a novel and memorable way.
After using all of the steps outlined above, you now
should have a better understanding of how to write a
paper or essay. Furthermore, I hope I have helped make
writing a paper easier for you. So, next time you are
stressing over a paper, just use this simple course, and
you should have no problems.
Sentence Forms:
1) 10TP E Noun Phrase
2) 4C Not only, but
3) 4C More -er
4) 2S Standard Series
7) 3V Gerund
9) 8RN Where
DEVELOPING AN ESSAY BY TANISHA L. BRUNS
Although most people will tend to disagree, writing is

easy. We can all put pen to paper and jot down whatever
comes to mind – easy.1 The hard part is organizing
those thoughts, creating well-written, structured
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sentences and paragraphs that support an idea or
opinion.
The goal of writing is to take the reader on a ride, to
allow her to see and experience the same things you
do.2 In order to get from point A (writing) to point B
(organized, structured writing) you will need some sort
of transportation. In this case, the “automobile” is
understanding the writing situation and the writing
process. The writing situation is usually the cause for
writing. It is the nature of the assignment, the length
and deadline. Careful consideration of the subject,
audience, and purpose allows you to determine how to
communicate your thoughts on the topic to the reader.
After you understand the situation – who, what, why,
how – it is easier to start the writing process. The
process consists of all the mental and physical activities
that go into writing. It is usually accomplished in three
stages: pre-writing, drafting, revising. These stages may
be followed in order; however, for many writers, they
often overlap and circle back on one another.3
Now that the engine is running, we can give it some gas.
Ensuring that we don’t flood the engine, we must limit
the subject.4 A broad subject should be narrowed to
adhere to the assignment and deadline. Break the
subject down into as many topics as possible.5 Then
chose the one that most interests you. Draw out a rough
sketch of your main ideas and views. This will help to
develop the thesis – the “what”.
Why? The reason behind your need to communicate
your views and thoughts on the topic is termed the
purpose. There are many reasons for writing, but the
assignment would be the first and best source. It will
ask you to explain, discuss, describe, or persuade.6
And now for the “who” and “how”.7 The audience also
plays an important role in the development of an essay.
As the author, you must be aware of them at all times,
who they are, what they need from you, and how you
will communicate your ideas to them. Which brings us
to the “how”.8 It is the way in which you will present
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your argument, ideas, story to the reader. In other
words, it is the packaging. We know from experience
that it is not always what you say, but how it is said
that gets attention. The audience, topic, and purpose
will determine whether the tone will be informal or
formal, cheerful or serious.9
The subject has been narrowed to one topic. There are
many methods used to produce ideas and information
that will further develop the topic and achieve the
purpose of the writing. Some of these techniques are as
follows: keeping a journal, freewriting, asking
journalist’s questions, and reading. A journal – like a
diary – is used to record thoughts and observations.
Ideas may be pulled from one of the daily entries.
Freewriting is a form of writing that allows you to “free”
your mind by thinking of the topic, then jotting down
every thought, relevant or not, as it comes to mind. The
only restriction is that you keep writing; do not stop to
reread, make corrections, or edit in any other manner.
Asking journalist’s questions about the topic and
answering them is another commonly used
technique.10 The questions and answers develop the
topic from a different perspective and help to set the
tone based on the facts reinforcing and proving the
overall design or thesis. Reading may be required for
some assignments, such as research papers and
summaries. Again, this may result in a more factual
tone than some other techniques. Not all techniques will
work for all topics and writing purposes. The
appropriate technique will depend mostly on the writer
himself and the chosen approach. If one does not work,
if it only leads to dead ends, then try another.11
Your automobile is ready to leave the parking lot when
you realize that it does not have cruise control; you
must use the steering wheel to maneuver. Just as the
steering wheel guides and controls the vehicle, so does
the thesis for writing. 12 It is the central assertion or
argument of the essay. The topic and your attitude
toward it combined will shape the thesis sentence. This
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sentence is often added to the introduction. It lets the
reader know what to expect from the composition.
Another important tool during the development phase is
organizing your ideas. Integral characteristics of a well-
written composition are unity and coherence. An essay
with well-organized ideas helps to guide the reader
along, showing her how the specific ideas are connected
and ultimately tied to the main idea. The most common
tool used to organize ideas and supporting details is the
infamous outline. Most of us are familiar with the
rigidity of outlines and see them as restrictive. Having
only viewed them in this manner, most student writers
have never been introduced to the many different kinds
of outlines. They are not all dull and confining. Scratch,
informal, tree diagram, formal outlines – these are some
of the different types.13
With regards to structure, the scratch outline is the
most basic of the bunch. Used for generally
straightforward essays, it lists the key points and the
order that they will be discussed. The informal outline is
a bit more detail oriented. There are key general points;
then the supporting specific evidence is listed. Next up
with increasing specificity is the tree diagram.14 While
the ideas and details branch out from the main point,
the non-linear shape of this outline allows for
supplementation and indefinite extension. This makes it
easier to alter the shape or arrangement of information
during the draft and revision phases. The most
structured and academically familiar of them all is the
formal outline. Formal outlines are used for complex
topics that require complex arrangements of ideas, and
supporting detail. Although rigid and friendly, the
formal outline provides the greatest form of organization
with labels and indentions that indicate the importance
of the idea. Ideas are only included if they are supported
with several pieces of evidence or detail. It helps to clip
the split or loose ends of your paper.15 This ensures the
coherence and unity of your essay.
So now that you are on the road, traveling with a tank
full of gas and a map for direction, it is time to plan the
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rest stops. Do you want to stop based on time or
distance traveled? Your ideas and details are organized;
now the question remains what is the best order in
which to discuss them. Space and time – these are
additional forms of organization used in composition.16
Spatial organization is used when describing nouns –
people, places, objects. On the other hand, chronological
organization portrays events as they occurred in time.
The goal in any organization scheme is to be clear,
making smooth transitions from one idea to the next.
With this portion just about finished and under your
belt, you are ready to begin the next phase – drafting.
That just adds to the fun and excitement of writing a
well-organized composition. Make sure that you seatbelt
is fastened and that you observe all of the previously
discussed tips on accomplishing this goal. Remember,
writing is easy!
So write now the first draft, and then in the final step
rewrite your draft, checking for a solid thesis well
supported with evidence; for good paragraphs with
unity, coherence, and cohesion; and for clear and
effective organization. Proofread the final draft
thoroughly, improving word choice, grammar, spelling,
and punctuation. With the paper now complete, it is
ready for submission.
Sentence Forms:
1) 8RN Whatever supplemental

2) 3V Infinitive
3) 9PP Expansive Semicolon
5) 11ADD Beginning Verb
6) 2S Choices Series
7) 2S The Pair
8) 11ADD Fragment
10)3V Gerund (2)
11)7AC If (2)
12)4C Just As, So
13)9PP Dash B Wrap-Up
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14)11ADD Inversion
15)3V Infinitive
16)9PP Dash B Wrap-Up
WRITING AS AN ART FORM BY JASON WOOLSEY
Writing is an art form. One doesn’t take an hour out of

the day to write a masterpiece the first time around. The
paper must be reviewed and heard over and over again
in the mind of the writer so that he may understand
how the reader will hear it. In order to write effectively
and coherently, it is necessary to create a step by step
process. The process may be different from writer to
writer, considering that not every musician creates
music in the exact same way. However, the rules should
not be thrown out the window, and a certain amount of
attention must be paid to form. The writer must
remember that although he may understand perfectly
what thoughts he has put down on paper, the reader
may not.1
The first step in writing is deciding what to write about.
Deciding what to write about does not mean just
choosing the topic. While it is true that the topic may
not always be available to change, the writer must place
a part of himself within the work.2 The writer should, in
some way, be connected to his work. If the writer can
choose the topic, then he must be sure to make the
essay concise and straight-forward, while catching the
reader’s interest at the same time. It is too easy to start
writing about one thing and then find that the topic is
too broad to encompass the limits of your work. If he
cannot choose the topic, then he must find his own way
of expressing the ideas placed upon his shoulders. The
writer must find a way to connect with his reader, find a
way to make the reader see his point of view, find a way
to make the reader come to believe that it is not your
words that he is reading: they are his own thoughts.3
Remembering that a product is being sold can be a
valuable asset to the writer. There is a fine line between
selling out and selling your work.
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Connecting with the audience is the next point of
advice. Who is the writer writing for? Certainly he does
not wish to view his own thoughts on paper and that’s
that. Connection, connection, connection – that is
arguably one of the more important points of writing.
Without connection, you have no reader, and everybody
knows that without a reader, you have no writer. The
writer must contemplate who his audience is.4 Can they
be approached by different angles and if so what are
they? Which of those angles would the reader connect
with the most and into which of those can the writer
fully put himself? Whatever the decision, the writer’s
goal is to convey his ideas clearly to the reader.
Remember that what is being said is not so nearly as
important as what the reader read and heard.
Next comes the thesis.5 Crucial as this step is, it’s not
as difficult as it sounds. Once steps one and two have
been dealt with, the writer has to think of one statement
that would tie the whole work together.6 The thesis
statement can most closely be linked to the beat of a
song. Without the beat all you have is pretty notes. The
thesis statement will be what the writer keeps pointing
to over and over and over again. The thesis statement
should be placed somewhere near the end of the first
paragraph and should be hit upon multiple times within
each paragraph, no matter how subtly.
Now it’s time to discuss how the paper is put together.
First off, the paper will have paragraphs in order to
separate the numerous ideas from each other and the
beginning and ending paragraphs. Each paragraph
should be about five sentences long, but remember that
most readers and listeners are not counting, so each
paragraph should contain sentence variety.7 The reader
must be engaged in the material, and one of the ways to
do that is to help the reader forget that he is even
reading, by creating a moving flow in the writing with
smooth transitions. Much like the ebb and flow of the
ocean, the work must mimic a real person talking as
much as possible: inflections, tone, and rhythm must all
be heard in the reader’s head. Each paragraph should
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have a rise and fall of information; the new information
to start the new paragraph, the explanation and
elaboration of the point, and a wrap up sentence or two
to lead into the next paragraph. The writer must
understand that these are all guidelines to follow and
not rules of any kind – for no great form of art was ever
constrained by rules.8
Once the paragraphs are completed and a rough draft
has been created, the writer must look over his work in
progress. Deciding the order of paragraphs and
relevance of information is an integral part of
assembling the paper. One must think of the order of
the paper like the opening or closing statement of a
lawyer. Lawyers are known for their ability to take
people on a path of logic without random points (vaguely
related though they may be), strewn about the place.
Writers comparatively must do the same thing: lead the
reader down a path that you chose without allowing the
reader to see past the point that you set forth.9 Do not
allow the reader to be distracted.10 The best way to
accomplish this goal is to organize the paper in such a
way that the beat is neither interrupted, nor replaced
with a completely different beat.
Once the paper is written and organized it must be fine-
tuned. Paying attention to detail is crucial because it’s a
given that the reader will. Adjusting sentences to
augment the paper or replacing common words with
more powerful ones are just two examples of how to pay
attention to detail.11 This one aspect above all others
makes the difference between a good paper and a work
of art.
Writing a paper can be a moving experience. Although it
is indeed an art form, there are certain guidelines that
should be adhered to in order to create something
memorable. Humans create art to define themselves
against all of nature; humans write to create a flow of
words leading to a symphony of ideas, ending in the
triumphant blaze of realization.12
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Sentence Forms:
1) 8RN That
2) 7AC While
3) 5R Key Word
4) 8RN Who
5) 11ADD Inversion
6) 7AC Once
7) 6CC And
8) 9PP Dash Break
10)11ADD Beginning Verb
11)8RN How
12)11ADD Noun of (3)
THE FIVE STEPS OF THE WRITING PROCESS

by Melinda Robertson
We’ve all had the experience of sitting in class when the
instructor utters the two words that can strike terror
into the hearts of his students. The words ‘essay
assignment’ when combined are responsible for more
student anxiety attacks and sleep loss than any other
two words (including ‘pop quiz’) ever combined in the
history of spoken and written language. Many students
have wasted hours staring at a blank piece of paper,
wishing that organized thoughts would start flowing out
of their pens magically pre-arranged in such a way as to
create the elusive “A” paper – only to be severely
disappointed. However, by following a few simple step by
step suggestions, the anxiety, sleep loss, and
disappointment can be removed from the writing
process.
There are five steps to the writing process: choosing a
subject and thesis, choosing ideas that will support your
thesis, organizing and outlining your ideas/paper,
developing each paragraph, and then finally rewriting
and editing your finished paper. If these steps are
followed – one at a time – you can be guaranteed to feel
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more confident with the overall quality and content of
your finished paper.
First, you should choose a subject and develop a thesis
statement for your essay. (If you are writing your essay
on an assigned topic, you will need to research that
topic, and when you are comfortable with the
information you’ve gathered – create your thesis
statement.) The subject you choose should be one that
you are familiar with, enjoy, and that will appeal to your
target audience. Your enthusiasm with the subject will
reflect itself in the quality or your writing, and this will
make your essay far more appealing. Once you have
chosen your subject, you will need to develop your
thesis statement. The thesis statement is the aspect of
the subject that you would like to base your essay on, or
the main point that you would like to express to your
reader. This statement is normally comprised of one
main sentence, and will usually appear in the first or
second paragraph of your essay.
Secondly, you should scribble down any ideas or facts
that you feel will support your thesis statement. Also,
write down in any figurative expressions (similes and
metaphors) that you feel will bring substance, texture,
and life to your paper. (If your paper is too full of facts –
no matter who your audience is – you will lose your
reader.) It is important to let creativity be your guide at
this point. Another word for this process is called
“brainstorming.” All of these little pieces of information
will be sorted, put together, and later organized to form
the body of your essay.
Thirdly, you will need to organize your information and
outline your paper. Organization and outlining is one of
the more tedious but important parts of your essay. All
papers must have a definite beginning, middle and an
end. The information in your essay must be presented
in a logical fashion so as not to confuse the reader, and
to establish a discernable “flow pattern.”
To begin, you will need to organize your information;
sort through your list of facts, ideas, and revelations
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and then categorize them by central ideas. For example,
small “like” items should be paired with other small
“like” items, to form a larger complete “like” concept.
Once you have done that, you will need to decide where
these items should appear (and if they should appear) in
the outline or design of your paper.
To make outlining or designing your essay easier, start
with a clean sheet of paper. On this piece of paper, write
down your thesis statement. Since the thesis statement
should (although it does not have to) appear within the
first two paragraphs of your essay, this will be
considered the beginning section. Next, list your chosen
supporting concepts under your thesis statement so
that they appear in a logical order and will provide some
connection between the concepts. (Cohesion refers to
the way that the sentences are combined to form
sensible and discernable paragraphs, and how those
paragraphs are linked together to foster a flow pattern
for the essay) These concepts are considered to be the
middle section of your essay. And finally, the conclusion
or ending of the essay should tie together all the facts
presented in the essay with a fitting summary. Once you
have completed your outline, you may proceed to the
fourth step in the writing process.
The fourth step in the writing process is paragraph
development. In this section, you will not only write the
essay paragraph by paragraph, but you will also select
the style and set the tone of our essay. You must
consider your target audience. This is important
because you would not use the same style and verbiage
to address a classroom full of first graders as you would
a classroom full of rocket scientists.
There are nine basic styles that you may choose from:
narrative (tells you story in a chronological order),
definitive (defines your subject clearly), descriptive
(uses vivid details to describe your subject), persuasive
(uses emotion to attempt to convince your reader of
something), argumentative (uses logic to attempt to
sway your reader), expositive (explains your subject in
simple terms without bias), comparing/contrasting
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(compares or contrasts two subjects), classifying (sorts
your subject into categories and explains how and why
it was done), and illustrative (lists examples to support
your main thesis). One you select a style that you are
comfortable with, and that will appeal to your target
audience, you may select a tone for your essay.
The tone of your essay is also extraordinarily important
as it will set the stage and prepare the reader for the
presentation. You may choose to present your
information in a straight forward manner, using simple
plain English with no embellishments. And that’s fine –
depending on the audience that you are attempting to
reach and the subject matter that you have to work
with. However, the information may also be presented
using a comedic, sarcastic, ironic, or even serious tone.
The tones may be mixed throughout your essay – but be
careful – too many tones may cause your reader to miss
the point. Again, the reader as well as the subject
matter should be considered heavily when deciding on a
tone. Once you have chosen your style and tone, you
may begin with your paragraph development.
Using your outline as a guide, start developing your
paragraphs. If you feel that an introductory paragraph is
needed prior to the statement of your thesis, write one.
Keep in mind that the information that you put in this
paragraph should be an introduction to your main idea,
and it should get the reader’s attention. Sometimes, it
can even be a short story that is directly related to the
subject matter in your essay. If there is not good
cohesion between your introductory section and your
thesis statement, your essay will have an unwanted
choppy feel to it, and you may lose your reader before
the third paragraph.
Attack each concept in the middle part of your essay
individually. When writing each paragraph, make sure
that the information that you will be presenting in the
paragraph has unity and coherence. Unity and
coherence mean that all of the information being
presented belongs together. If it does not, the
information can be split to form separate paragraphs, or
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if the information does not contribute to the essay as a
whole, it may be discarded. Each section when written
must also have cohesion – again – to avoid that
unwanted choppy feel.
The conclusion paragraph should be brief and
summarize the essay. It should refer back to your thesis
statement or main idea, and tie together all of the
concepts presented in the essay. Once you have finished
writing the paragraphs, you may proceed to the fifth and
final stage of the writing process.
The fifth stage of the writing process is rewriting and
editing. During this last stage, you will review your
essay as a whole to check for unity, coherence, and
cohesion as well as punctuation and spelling errors. If
you have made a lot of changes to your essay during the
writing process, you may wish to re-write the final
version in order to avoid duplicate corrections and
confusion.
The best way to check your essay to make sure that it
has unity, coherence, and cohesion is to read it aloud.
When read aloud, does it make sense? Does it flow
together nicely? Is it awkward in some areas? Was there
a better way to state something? Is there something that
just doesn’t belong? If you find that changes are
necessary, make those changes, and then go through
the process of reading it aloud again. Go through this
process as many times as needed until you are
completely comfortable with the final version.
Once you are happy with the final version of your essay,
check it again to make sure that your punctuation and
spelling are correct. Make any necessary corrections.
When you have gone through the entire rewriting and
editing process, it is important to take a break, and then
review your essay one final time. Put your paper away
while you move on to another activity. Get out of the
house, go for a long walk, visit the mall and do some
shopping – anything to get your mind off of your essay.
After you’re done with the other activity, take another
look at your finished essay. Read it aloud again. Does it
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still sound okay? Is it organized? Does it need additional
pruning? Also, check your spelling and punctuation
again. Make any necessary final changes to your essay.
At this point your essay assignment should be complete
and ready to turn in.
By following the five steps of the writing process – one
by one – the anguish can be removed from the dreaded
‘essay assignment.’ Please note that these five steps are
merely suggestions to get you started and are not
chiseled in stone. Perhaps, once you are more
comfortable and have more experience with writing, you
may develop your own method. Until then, these
suggestions should work. Good luck with your project.
THE WRITING COURSE by Betty Warren

The Writing Situation: Every English book will tell you
the same thing: know your audience. If you don’t know
your audience, you need to figure it out, or at the very
least take a good guess. An example would be this
English class; we are college students now, so please do
not address us as you would elementary school
students.
Be creative! Just because this is an assignment, doesn’t
mean it can’t be fun. Show some emotion; put your
heart into it, or better yet, maybe a little humor. We can
all do it, it’s inside of us. Just think it, and then write it
down.
And most importantly, say it like you mean it. Speak to
us through your words. The most enjoyable books I have
ever read are the ones where it feels as if the writer is
speaking to me directly. You can close your eyes for a
moment and hear every word. Nobody wants to read
something flat, monotone, and boring.
The writing Process: I personally believe that there are
many steps to the writing process; however, I do not
always agree with the ones taught to us. We all have
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different “triggers”, or things to get us started, and mine
are simply not the ones listed in the school books.
Before I write anything, I think about it briefly, and then
just let it flow from there. I usually write about the first
thing that comes to mind, or about a recent experience
that has left an impression on me. If I need to write
about a subject that requires research, I‘ll research,
memorize, and write. For me, it’s all about letting the
words flow on their own.
Occasionally I get stumped – as we all do – and in that
case I walk away and think. Even though I might know
exactly what I want to say, somehow putting it on paper
just won’t work. Don’t fight this; it will only frustrate
you more. Instead of struggling over the next sentence,
let it come to you. Once you have that one great
sentence, trust me, the rest comes naturally.
The Thesis Statement: The thesis statement is
something I have been struggling with for days now.
This is listed as step three in “The Writing Course”; I
believe it should be step one. I don’t know if I am
stubborn and set in my “writing ways”, or if I am simply
not learning the steps properly, but I do know this: I
cannot start writing something without a central theme
or axis.
Before I ever attempt to put words to paper, I am armed
with the facts. I need to know everything I can possibly
know about my subject. I might take down a few key
sentences that I will use, but then I just start writing
and let it go where it does. I truly struggle to attempt
writing any other way. In fact I’m doing it now. I have
deviated from my first draft, and am just writing. Is this
a major writing flaw?
The Paragraph Development: The paragraph
development should be the easiest part of the writing
experience. A good test is this: when you stop, or that
idea or line of thought comes to an end, you are usually
at the end of a paragraph. When or if that doesn’t work
for you, it should be a simple matter of reading through
what you’ve already written, and identifying which
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statements or sentences don’t belong where they are. It
all needs to blend and flow smoothly, and all be related
to the same thing. I suppose the one exception to this
would be the “link” between two paragraphs. I would not
recommend anything drastic, just a small phrase or
short sentence that leads to the next paragraph. Maybe
some clue, or a hint at what’s coming next.
The Essay Organization: Now we’re into the fun stuff!
The opening should always leave the reader wanting to
know more. You obviously need to let them know where
you’re going with the story, but try not to give too much
away. If you do, there is absolutely no point in reading
further. Would you tell someone the punch-line before
the joke? No, so don’t make that mistake here.
The central portion is the “meat and bones” of your
story. If you need to re-write this over and over to make
it flow smoothly, it’s well worth the time. Sometimes
changing a simple word will make a major difference. I
personally could not survive this stage without a good
thesaurus. But whatever you do – don’t overdo it. This
does, after all, need to sound like you. And yes, we do
know what you sound like!
As the end gets near, you need to wrap it up. Close the
deal. Let us know it’s the end, but bring us back subtly
to where we started, yet with finality.
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Narrative Essay
Instructions:
After reading and analyzing various narrative model
essays by former students, we give students the assignment of
composing a narrative essay of their own, either factual or
fictional in nature.
Below are some examples of narrative essays by
students which may be used as models for other students to
follow in their assignment.
Not all sentence forms used have been spotted and
identified. A representative sampling serves to adequately
remind the reader of the prevalence of such forms in all good
writing.
IS THIS LOVE? by Matthew Ormita

I like to believe in love and romance. It’s such a
beautiful thing. Finding our equal, our missing half, our
soul mate – we have all thought about it, dreamed about
it, and hoped for it.1
My best friend, Erwin Lopez, was a hopeless romantic.
He’d sit around for hours on end and talk about “her”:
his dream girl, his soul mate. He didn’t know who she
was, but he was certain that she was out there, waiting
for him.2 And he intended to stay faithful to her,
whoever she was, until they finally met each other. He
was so serious about it. He never even hugged any girls
except for his mother and sisters; he saved every other
ounce of affection and care within him for “the one.”3 I
used to always laugh at him, joke with him, and call
him a softie.4 I’d say. “You’re never gonna find her,
dude.” However, one day he did, or at least, he believed
he did.5
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Lilah Carmichael – that’s who she was, that was her
name, Erwin’s supposed soul mate. She was a new girl
in town. Erwin met her in English class, and from what
he told me, the two of them clicked from the very first
second. At first glance, she wasn’t much to look at, but
when I finally met her, I could see why Erwin was so
smitten.6 She always looked tired, dazed, confused, and
sad, but one smile from her could turn your worst day
into your best. Lilah was a sweet girl; she was very kind
and very innocent. There was also something very
sensual about her, even though she was Miss Goody-
Two-Shoes in Keds.7 She was different from the rest of
the girls, and Erwin was madly in love with her, or at
least, he thought he was.
Erwin didn’t ask Lilah on a date – he didn’t even tell her
he liked her.8 He was determined to get her, but at the
same time, he was scared out of his wits to tell her his
feelings. So instead, he did a lot of the traditional sweet
things for her: bought her candy, cleaned her house, fed
her dog.9 He did these things hoping she would pick up
the hint, but she didn’t. It didn’t seem to bother Erwin
much at first, but after five months, he began to get
really frustrated. And a little after that fifth month, it
seemed Lilah did not even know who he was.
The next month was hell for Erwin, and for me. All he
could talk about was, “Lilah this, Lilah that, Lilah’s
driving me mad, Lilah hurt me bad.”10 He would just go
on and on and on about her. Erwin was tortured over
her. He couldn’t talk, think of, sing of nothing but Lilah.
Obsession – not love – was what Erwin had for Lilah.11
And to make matters worse, Lilah had another boy
seeking her affections – David Allman.
David and Lilah got really close over a short period of
time. They would go to the movies together, they’d go for
walks together, and they’d hang out at her house till
past midnight.12 They were almost inseparable. David
had everything going for him: good looks, smooth
charm, popularity.13 Lilah’s family loved him; they’d
invite him to dinner and family outings. He would even
go golfing with her parents. It seemed like David and
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Lilah were already dating, and it seemed that Erwin
could do nothing to stop it.
I couldn’t stand seeing my best friend miserable all the
time, so one day I confronted Lilah after school to get
the facts straight.14 She didn’t like David the way we
thought she did; however, she did like Erwin, but she
was confused about a bunch of things. What these
things were I hadn’t the slightest clue. She was always
confused. So I called her stupid and told her how Erwin
was crazy about her. She got really red in the face and
smiled. She asked me where he was and when I told
her, she drove off to go look for him.15
Erwin came to school the next day with a gigantic smile
on his face; I knew something really good must have
happened. He and Lilah had gone to a secluded park in
the mountains to talk.16 He told her about everything:
his sleepless nights thinking of her, his late night walks
alone, the wishes he made on very visible star just to be
with her.17 She cried a little and held on to him for the
rest of the day. He never went into detail about
everything else that happened in the park. All he told
me was that all of his sweetest dreams combined could
never compare to that one day.
Lilah and Erwin never officially asked each other out,
but they were finally together, and I couldn’t have been
happier. They were always together, and if they weren’t,
they were on the phone with each other. It seemed
Erwin and Lilah had found true love with one another;
however, the dream wasn’t going to last for very long.18
David had pushed himself right back into the picture,
and the bond between Lilah and Erwin slowly began to
break. Lilah began to ignore Erwin again; Erwin was
miserable again. David, Lilah’s confusion and
innocence, Erwin’s confusion and frustration – they
were all factors in the break-up.19 She was back with
David again, and this time, they were more than just
friends.
After about another year, Erwin finally got over her. He
stopped calling her, and he finally stopped talking about
110
her.20 He stopped being the hopeless romantic puss
and became an alcohol-guzzling regular like the rest of
us. He talked bad about Lilah. He said things like, “I
don’t know what the hell I saw in her.” And “I don’t
wanna have anything to do with that dumb girl” But one
day, about four months ago, she called him. She was
sobbing, and she had called to apologize for how bad
she had treated him.21
Even though he had built up so much hatred for her
inside of him, the sound of her quivering voice melted
him.22 He met with her that same day, and the two got
caught up on old times and present times. She said
David had grown tired of her and left for Europe. It also
turned out that she was leaving in a few weeks for
Kentucky. Though they hadn’t talked for over a year, her
news saddened Erwin.23
Even after all this time, Erwin still had a soft spot for
Lilah. The two spent every last minute she had left in
our town together, but both of them knew not to try for
anything more than friendship.24 They were both very
nice people; they just weren’t right for each other. As
friends, they were great together; as lovers, they were
wrong together.
They realized it.25 They were not soul mates, but they
were good friends, and they would always have an open
door for one another. That was valuable enough for the
both of them. They said their good-byes to each other,
and she was gone.26
Erwin still carries Lilah’s picture with him, and he still
talks about her every once in awhile. He still believes in
true love and all that good stuff, but he says he realizes
now, that it’s not going to come to him right away. It
won’t just happen. It’ll take time and work to build
trust, faith, and eventually, love.27 Oh well, I don’t
know. Personally, I think he’s too young to be thinking
so much about this stuff.28
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Sentence Forms:
1) 9PP Dash B Wrap-up; 3V Present Participle; 2S Triple
Force; 2S Standard Series
2) 8RN Who; 6CC But; *RN That; 3V Present Participle
3) 9PP Association Semicolon; 2S The Pair (2); 11ADD Noun
of
5) 10TP B Word; 6CC Or; 8RN Missing that
6) 10TP B Prepositional Phrase; 6CC But; 7AC When; 8RN
Why
7) 7AC Even though
8) 9PP Dash Break
9) 11ADD Beginning Conjunction; 10TP B Word; 9PP
Numeric Precursor Colon; 2S Triple Force
10)8RN Missing that; 10TP E Insertion Quotation
11)9PP Dash Noun Phrase; 8RN What
12)5R Keyword; 2S Standard Series
13)9PP Explanation Colon; 2S Triple Force
14)3V Gerund; 6CC So; 3V Infinitive
15)8RN Where; 6CC And; 7AC When; 3V Infinitive
16)2S The Pair; 3V Past Participle; 3V Infinitive
17)9PP Explanation Colon ??; 3V Present Participle; 8RN
Missing that; 3V Infinitive
18)9PP Expansive Colon; 3V Infinitive
19)9PP B Wrap-up; 2S The Pair (2); 2S Standard Series
20)6CC And; 3V Gerund (2)
21)6CC And; 3V Infinitive; 8RN How
22)7AC Even though; 3V Present Participle
23)7AC Though
24)8RN Missing that; 6CC But; 3V Infinitive
25)1F Object
26)6CC And
27)2S The Pair; 3V Infinitive; 2S Standard Series
28)10TP B Word; 8RN Missing that; 3V Infinitive
112
WHERE IS THE BAG? by Helen Wu
This is the first time for us to live in a foreign country.1
We are renting an apartment which is quite isolated
from any shopping centers or supermarkets. We don't
have a car either. So we must go on a very, very long
bus ride when going shopping.2
One day, my father went to the supermarket. He bought
two bags of food. One bag was filled with fruit and
vegetables. The other bag had some ingredients in it,
such as oil, sugar, salt, and soy sauce.3 He also was
carrying an envelope with some files in it.
During the long bus trip home, my father felt very sleepy
and fell asleep. When he woke up, he found that the bus
had reached the stop where he should get off.4 He
picked up the two bags in a hurry, and jumped off the
bus. After the bus left, he realized that the envelope was
still on the bus.5 My father decided to take another bus
to the end of the route and to get the envelope from the
bus there.6
But he didn't want to take the two bags with him.7 He
looked around, and saw that no one was around. He hid
the bags behind a big tree, hidden also by some
bushes.8 Then he got on another bus.9 But when he
arrived at the end of the line, he couldn't check the bus
for the envelope because it had already left.10 He was
angry and went back. And he felt only a bit happy when
he got back to the tree: only the bag with the fruit and
vegetables was there — the other one was stolen!11
Why did the thief steal just one bag, but didn't take the
other things there?12
We don't know.13
Where the bag went and why only one was taken remain
to this day unsolved mysteries.14
Sentence Forms:
1) 3V Infinitive
113
2) 11ADD Beginning Conjunction; 5R Repetition Word; 3V
Gerund (2)
3) 10TP E Prepositional Phrase; 2S Standard Series
extended
4) 7AC When; 8RN That; 8RN Where
5) 7AC After; 8RN That
6) 3V Infinitive; 11ADD Compound Verbal Phrase Infinitive
7) 11ADD Beginning Conjunction; 3V Infinitive
8) 10TP E Verbal Phrase Past Participle
9) 10TP B Word
10)11ADD Beginning Conjunction; 7AC When; 7AC Because
11)7AC When; 9PP Explanation Colon; 9PP Dash E Clause;
11ADD Exclamation
12)6CC But; 11ADD Question
13)1F Subject
14)8RN Where; 8RN Why; 3V Past Participle
HE NEVER KNEW HER BY JEFF WENRICH

When he was two years old, his mother was killed in a
horrible tractor trailer crash. His father would recount
the events that led up to the accident, years later.1 The
memories of his mother were laid to rest in an old
wooden cedar chest. Growing up, the young boy had
hundreds of questions to ask his father. How did his
mother die? What did she look like? Not bearing a
resemblance to his father, there was the big question
that still haunted him: did he look anything like his
mother?2
Several years passed; the father remained silent about
the accident. One day, the boy was digging through the
attic searching for some baseball cards, when he came
across an old wooden cedar chest.3 Inside the cedar
chest, he found a photo album. Leafing through the
wrinkled, yellowish, stained pages of the worn and
fragile album, the young boy’s eyes fixated on a
strikingly tall, slender, blonde-haired woman.4 She had
high cheekbones, wondrously penciled eyebrows, and an
114
effervescent smile that would acknowledge a nod from
the coldest of unbeknownst strangers.
At a get-together at a special occasion, the young man
begged his father to describe to him the events
surrounding his mother’s death.5 Twenty-five years had
passed since the tragic accident. Once again, the son
pleaded for details, but the room remained silent.
Finally, the father could not hold back the tears and
emotions for the woman he so dearly loved, and for the
son he had raised and for whom he cared so deeply.
It was 8:20 on a rainy, September evening in
Pennsylvania. His father drove truck for a local livestock
company. His tender for the evening was a load of hogs
and steers destined for the auction pens in Carlisle,
Pennsylvania. Two years out of high school – driving
truck and hauling livestock – these were the jobs his
father knew.6 His mother was a young, energetic
housewife.7 She was a loving mother who adored and
pampered her son. She was very athletic and loved to
ride horses, water ski, and skate.8
On the night of the accident, his mother decided to
accompany his father on the two-hour trip to Carlisle.
She fitted her young son with a nice tweed outfit, and
placed his favorite Yankee baseball cap on his head. The
young child was fascinated with animals, and he spat
out garbled words of “moo cow” and “piggy.” It was his
time to ride in the big red truck, the one with all the
cows and pigs.9 His mother sat him in her lap and let
him enjoy the view. In the early 60s, some of the older
tractor-trailer trucks were not equipped with seatbelts.
It started to rain pretty heavily, about ten miles outside
of Carlisle. The father was traveling northbound on the
outside lane, the lane most often used by truck
drivers.10 Looking at his outside mirror, he noticed a
car approaching on the inside lane at an unusually high
rate of speed for the road conditions.
Suddenly, the vehicle started to hydroplane and spin
out of control.11 The driver lost control of the vehicle
and slammed into the front of the tractor-trailer. The
115
impact blew the tire out on the driver’s side of the
tractor-trailer. The father tried desperately to brake,
downshift, and maintain control of the big rig, but the
excessive load and momentum plunged the rig through
a steel guardrail.12 The tractor-trailer plummeted down
a 30 foot embankment. Father and son were instantly
thrown through the windshield. The father had
sustained cuts to his face and hands. Miraculously, the
young child only had a small gash to the scalp. The
mother was not as fortunate. The father located her
underneath the truck in a drainage culvert. Her neck
was broken and her lung punctured. She had ingested a
combination of diesel fuel and water that had
accumulated in the culvert.13 Had she survived, she
probably would have been in a vegetative state – brain
dead.
Two decades later, the memory of her photographs and
the story surrounding her death are put to rest.14 His
mind is now at ease; he has peace with himself. She was
the perfect wife and mother, everything his father had
hoped and dreamed of. However, she was only a
stranger in the past, to the son who never knew her
previously but now did know her at last.
Sentence Forms:
1) 8RN That; 10TP E Adverb Phrase
2) 10TP B Verbal Phrase Present participle; 9PP Explanation
Colon; 11ADD Question
3) 10TP B Adverb Phrase; 3V Present Participle; 7AC When
4) 3V Present Participle; 3V Past Participle (3); 2S Triple
Force (2); 2S The Pair
5) 10 TO B Prepositional Phrase; 3V Infinitive; 3V Present
Participle
6) 19TP B Adverb Phrase; 3V Gerund (2); 2S The Pair; 9PP
Dash B Wrap-Up
7) 2S Compact Duo
8) 11ADD Compound Verb; 3V Infinitive (missing to); 2S
Standard Series
9) 3V Infinitive; 10TP E Appositive Phrase; 2S The Pair
10)10TP E Appositive Phrase
11)10TP B Word; 3V Infinitive; 3V Infinitive Missing to
116
12)2S Standard Series; 6CC But; 2S The Pair
13)2S The Pair; 8RN That
14)10TP B Adverb Phrase; 2S The Pair; 3V Present Participle
THE DAY MY GRANDMOTHER DIED

by Griselda Perez
It was Sunday. The sky was clear, bright, and
astonishing – a normal day for California.1 Sunday
means family gatherings in the family. Like most
Hispanic families, we have gatherings, where everyone
brings a food dish to the so called event.2 Gatherings
are called events, or so in our family they are. It was
always the day that brought happiness to our lives –
Sunday.3 The whole family shows up, and it is almost
like a supermarket turn-out when they are giving out
things for free.
The table consists of the following food: tamales,
tortillas, posole, menudo, carne asada, picadillo,
guacamole, and well the list goes on.4 All these
steaming hot dishes were on the big picnic table sitting
outside the front yard inhabited by the Garcia family. It
was a great afternoon – perfect. Grandma was sitting by
her favorite dish – frijoles charros. She always took the
same seat. Everyone sat down, and tio [uncle, Spanish]
Victor said, “A comer todos!” We all knew what that
meant – dig in.5 Grandma did not move.
We found ourselves in the hospital room next to
grandma, watching her suffer.6 The room was silent,
only whimpers of sobbing people were heard. It felt like
the life of a Sunday was taken forever. My mother and I
were surrounding grandma with her pale face, almost
white. She looked at us with her Indian eyes. They were
full of anguish, pain, suffering.7 There was nothing any
of us could do to help her. She had been suffering a long
time with lung cancer, and today on a perfect Sunday
afternoon she decided she could not take it anymore.8
We told her that she was going to make it through this
time also; she always seemed to make it every other
117
time. But this time her sad eyes told us that she could
not take it anymore.
She shut her eyes and grasped for air. She started to
cough immensely. It sounded like she was choking on a
big piece of carne asada. Her eyes grew bigger, like
those of an owl at night.9 She opened her mouth and all
we could see were pieces of her lungs coming out. She
was choking on her own lungs. They looked like black
pieces of raw meat, covered in blood. My mother and I
commenced to pick her lungs from her throat, while
screaming for help. The nurses ran in and made us step
out of the room. Suddenly the perfect Sunday – clear,
bright, and astonishing – turned black, sorrowful, and
full of pain. The lobby was invaded by the Garcia family.
There was nothing we could do for grandma; she was
gone and we all knew it. Grandma was pronounced dead
at 6:00pm, around the same hour that the gathering
would be at the best part – storytelling and
reminiscing.10 The Sunday that could bring happiness
to our lives brought tears to our faces. Since then, we
feel the emptiness that a Sunday can have, the sadness
a Sunday can bring you, the traditions that can be
broken on a Sunday.
Sentence Forms:
1) 2S Standard Pair; 9PP Dash E Noun Phrase
2) 10TP B Prepositional Phrase;; 8RN Where
3) 8RN That; 9PP Dash E Appositive
4) 9PP List Colon; 6CC And
5) 8RN What; 9PP Dash E Word
7) 2S Triple Force
8) 6cc And; 8RN Missing that
9) 10TP E Prepositional Phrase extended
10)10TP E Prepositional Phrase; 8RN That; 9PP Dash E
Appositive Phrase; 2S The Pair; 3V Gerund (2)
118
12 SECONDS by Carlton Hayden
Jones ran towards the receiver and laid one of his
patented hits on him.1 This kind of defensive play
would have brought a sure roar from any enthusiastic
football crowd, but it didn’t when the receiver was
already out of bounds. And if you know anything about
football, you know you cannot hit a player while he is
out of bounds.2
It was a calm and very cool Friday night in Reading,
Pennsylvania – a perfect night for a high school football
game. My team, the Reading Red Knights, was playing
the Lancaster High Black Knights for the League
Championship and a chance to qualify for the Quad “A”
District Playoffs.3 My team’s record was 8-2 with some
impressive wins over some very experienced and
talented teams. We needed to beat Lancaster High in
order to make it to our first District Playoff in almost 24
years. We needed to win this game.4
After Jones had hit the receiver out of bounds, the
referee threw his yellow flag into the air.5 It was as
though time stood still as the flag flew through the air
with the grace of an eagle in mid-flight. We all knew
what the call from the ref would be: “Late hit on the
defense”. When the call was made, everyone uttered in a
very low, displeasing voice “He was in bounds” – even
though the receiver was clearly out of bounds.6 It was
an obvious penalty, but this was a very important game,
and we knew Lancaster would now have the ball
advanced to the 10 yard line, (since the receiver was hit
out of bounds at the 25-yard line and a late hit penalty
added 15 more yards from the spot of penalty).
The score was 12-7 in our favor. Immediately after
committing this ill-advised hit, Jones was pulled from
the game. He received a royal ass chewing that was
riddled with four-letter words from all the coaches.7
There were twelve seconds remaining in the game.
Twelve seconds before the League Championship was
119
decided. Twelve seconds before one of these two teams
would qualify for the District Playoffs, and a chance to
make the State Playoffs. Now with only twelve seconds
to go in the game, our defensive coach had to make the
defensive call that would hopefully stop the other team
scoring a touchdown and winning the game.
I remember the defensive call as if it was my own name:
“double gut eagle slant cover 1”. This meant defensive
lineman were shooting to even numbered gaps of the
offensive lineman, the two linebackers were blitzing
through the 2 and 4 gaps on the offensive line, and the
defensive backs would play their man in 1 on 1
coverage.8
As I sat and watched from the sidelines with only 12
seconds left in the game, the ball was hiked to the
quarterback. The quarterback took a couple steps back
looking furiously for an open receiver; our linebackers
rushed the line of scrimmage and one made it through,
just missing the quarterback. The quarterback
scrambled to his left after sidestepping the blitzing
linebacker, and with the instincts of a well-seasoned
NFL quarterback he threw the ball to his right end. The
right end was about a yard short of the goal line and
was immediately hit by my friend Jason, who was
playing cornerback. It was a standoff at first, but Jason
was about 145 lbs. and the right end was about 200
lbs.9 The right-end was able to push Jason back and
advance the ball over the goal line. The referee raised
both arms up and said the only thing we did not want to
hear –“Touchdown!”
There was no time left on the clock. We had lost our
chance to be league champions and qualify for the
District Playoffs. Everyone immediately broke into tears;
no one was afraid to show their true feelings.10 Football
has brought great joy into my life, but on this calm and
very cool Friday night in Reading, Pennsylvania, football
delivered to me unexpectedly the greatest sadness I have
ever felt and it only took twelve seconds. Today when I
reminisce on that infamous Friday night, I find myself
120
shedding a tear or two as my teammates did.11 If only
we had twelve more seconds.12
Sentence Forms:
1) 11Add Compound Verb; 3V Past Participle
2) 11ADD Beginning Conjunction; 7AC If; 8RN Missing that;
7AC While
3) 10TP M Appositive; 3V Infinitive
4) 3V Infinitive
5) 7AC After
6) 7AC When; 2S Compact Duo; 10TP E Insertion; 9PP
Dash Break
7) 3V Gerund; 8RN That
8) 8RN Missing that (3); 2S Standard Series
9) 6CC But; 6CC And
10) 9PP Association Semicolon
11) 7AC When; 3V Present Participle; 7AC As
12) 11ADD Fragment
TOUGH GUY by Tanisha L. Bruns

My shift ended at 4:30pm, but it was nearly 7:00pm,
and I was still at work. I worked for a Blood Donor
Center; we just returned from a long blood drive. Some
of the other employees and I were laughing and joking
about a donor that had a fainting episode.1 We were
used to seeing donors faint, but this particular donor
drew special attention to himself because he was tall,
muscular, and very loud. He convinced a friend to
donate as well. His friend was the complete opposite:
thin and quiet.2 The big guy went on and on about how
he had been “donating for years, and never once
fainted”. Poking fun at his friend, the big guy remarked,
“Only little men and women faint while donating
blood”.3
As Donor Center staff members, we were familiar with
his macho attitude. Every time we visited his
organization, he donated a pint of blood, and made
some kind of chauvinistic comment on the way out. If
someone happened to faint during his visit, you could
hear him from every corner of the auditorium: “real men
121
don’t get light-headed”, or “donating isn’t for everybody,
especially not the faint of heart”. At first, he annoyed us,
but then we learned to accept him for who he was – a
jerk.4
The day that he and his friend decided to donate did not
seem different from any other. The big guy made his
usual comments as he passed through the stations. I
followed them to each station in order to assist the
smaller gentleman (sometimes we would escort first time
donors) with the entire process.5 I knew that Mr. Big’s
attitude would probably make him uncomfortable. Mr.
Big had to go first at each station, just to prove how
tough he was. At the vitals station, I saw something that
I had never seen before – he winced.6 After receiving a
finger stick, his muscles flinched and his face grimaced.
Because the staff made a habit of ignoring him, I was
most likely the only one paying attention. Mr. Big was in
pain; I knew it and he knew it, but no one else could
tell.7 I watched him intently, like a behavioral scientist,
waiting to see how he would react.
The next station called for a private interview with each
donor, so I had to stand away from the area and Mr.
Big, but I positioned myself so that I could see the back
of his head. I needed to see if that finger stick was still
affecting him. Because of the distance, I could not be
certain. So, I returned to the waiting area and explained
the next step to the smaller gentleman. He looked down
at his finger, then up at me, and said, “That little thing
hurts”. “Yes it does”, I replied, “you would be a fool to
think otherwise”.
Mr. Big returned, seemingly normal and as loud as
ever.8 “Damn,” I thought, “I guess it’s not bothering him
anymore.” After his friend completed the station, we
moved on. Finally, we made it to the phlebotomy
section. Mr. Big and the little guy sat next to one
another on the phlebotomy beds. But they were facing
each other.9 Mr. Big bragged about his good veins, and
proceeded to comment on how scrawny the little guy’s
arms were, and that we would have to “break out the
magnifying glass for his little veins”. The little guy was
122
amazingly unfazed by all of the jokes. I supposed he was
used to it.10
The phlebotomist prepared their arms and decided to
stick the smaller gentleman first. Mr. Big protested, but
she ignored him. It was a successful stick. We all
watched as the blood flowed through the tube and into
the bag. Then all eyes were on Mr. Big. “I bet my bag will
fill before yours,” he said to his friend. The phlebotomist
withdrew the needle from the sheath. The light must
have hit it at the right angle because it sparkled like a
diamond in the sun. Mr. Big must have seen it too
because his eyebrows rose a little. He was remembering
the finger stick. While his mind was stuck in the past,
the phlebotomist jabbed the needle into his arm. He was
unprepared, and that stinging sensation brought him
back to the present.11
Mr. Big tried to shake it off, but it would not let go. The
symptoms began to creep in. He felt it, attempted to
make a joke, but fell silent as his leg muscles began to
jump, his head to swim. My eyes were fixed on him now.
This was what I had been waiting for.12 Before the
phlebotomist realized it, Mr. Big was out for the count.
We had to use two ammonia ampoules to wake him. The
little guy was worried about Mr. Big, but we restored
him.
He awoke appearing confused, “How could this happen
to me?”. His ego was crushed. And we all knew that he
would be a whole lot quieter the next time we visited
that organization for a blood drive, if he could bring
himself to donate again.13
Sentence Forms:
1) 11ADD Compound Verb; 8RN That
3) 3V Present Participle; 10TP E Insertion
4) 6CC But; 9PP Dash E Appositive
5) 10TP M (Clause Interruptor)
6) 9PP Dash Break
8) 10TP E Adverb or Adjective Phrase
123
9) 11ADD Beginning Conjunction
10)8RN Missing That
11)3V Present Participle
12)8RN What
13)11ADD Beginning Conjunction; 8RN That; 7AC If
THE GRAND HIKE BY JOSHUA GATCOMB

When I was twelve years old, I met my Grandfather for
the first and last time. The saga of my mother’s reason
for leaving and staying away was hers alone.1 I was a
child and I didn’t care. I was going to fly in an airplane
and see the desert and visit relatives I had never seen. I
learned a very valuable lesson on that two-week
vacation: a Grandfather’s love surmounts any obstacle,
physical or otherwise.2
At the airport, two short elderly people greeted us with
exhausted, practiced smiles on their faces.3 I was
kissed and hugged repeatedly; I felt very awkward to say
the least. My Grandfather’s face was approximately four
inches away from the windshield the entire three-hour
trip to their tiny trailer. Conversation was kept to a
minimum so it was a blessing that I was plum tuckered
out from the flight. Instead of jovial catching up, my
Grandfather went straight to bed.4 I am not sure when
it occurred to me that a 70 year old man, who could
barely see, might be exhausted after driving six hours
straight. I was still just a child.
The next couple of days we spent many more hours in a
car traveling to the Petrified Forest and the Painted
Desert and the Grand Canyon. We went to restaurants
for meals and stayed in hotels to ensure we would not
miss anything. My Grandfather stopped at every lookout
point along the perimeter of the canyon, but stayed in
the car while we got out and gasped at the beauty. I was
very surprised when his car door opened and, what
seemed like twenty-minutes later, he emerged from the
car and headed my way. He told me, nonchalantly, that
we were going for a hike.5
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We headed down the trail very slowly as he told me
about the local area and the dude ranch at the bottom.
He told me how the Colorado River carved the canyon
and how wind had eroded it over centuries too. I was
fascinated by his stories, but frustrated that after an
hour on this trek we had only gone about a mile. The
stones in my shoes were nothing compared to the eons
it took us to make each twist in the trail.6 It was only
after we left that my mother told me he usually walked
with a cane, but out of pride for me, he left it at home.
Four hours later, our heads emerged above the
horizontal plane of the desert. We had talked the entire
time. Our conversation during that hike was a grownup
conversation. He was very meticulous in selecting what
words to use and how to convey concepts to a twelve-
year-old. He would take long pauses before speaking; I
rambled on at a hundred miles a minute.7 The
conversation shifted from outer space to girls to
responsibility. I was very upset when he would not
continue the conversation in the car. My heart aches to
realize that those long pauses he took were gasps for air
that probably saved his life.8 It also pains me to realize
he was being my confidant, and I nearly ruined it by
attempting to make our relationship public.
I don’t know if I will ever realize the magnitude of the
sacrifices my Grandfather made for me that trip, or the
extent of the pain he endured on my behalf. Because I
had never met the man until then, I didn’t know he was
holding his tongue from scolding me when my elbows
were on the table or when I back talked my mother or
when I swore.9 He knew that those two weeks would
probably be the only chance he would ever get to spend
with me, and he did everything to make the time happy
and memorable.10 He died shortly after I returned from
the trip.
Sentence Forms:
1) 13V Gerund (2)
3) 3V Past Participle (2); 2 Compact Duo
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5) 10TP M Word
6) 8RN Missing that
7) 9PP Opposition Semicolon
8) 8RN That (2); 8RN Missing that
9) 7AC Because; 3V Gerund; 2S Choices Series; 7AC When
(3)
10)3V Infinitive (2)
JOSHUA TREE by Destiny S. Larberg

It was the 27th of December 1994 and far too early to be
awake. Yet the drive to Joshua Tree National Monument
is a long four hours, so an early start was necessary. My
best friend and I spent several months preparing for this
day. Today would be the first day of a rigorous, two
week long, Pacific Crest Outward Bound course for
which we both had won a scholarship.
We were a bit early arriving in Joshua Tree and had to
wait for the rest of the participants to show up. This
gave us time to get fitted for some proper hiking boots.1
Both Kathrina and I were from a homeless shelter for
teenagers, so all of our clothing was from donations.2
Luckily, Pacific Crest provided hiking boots and
backpacks for all participants.
When everyone finally arrived, there were a total of nine
participants. Kathrina and I came to find out that we
were the only ones who were there voluntarily; the other
seven teenagers were forced to be there by their parents
for one reason or another.3 To them, the hiking course
was punishment. To us, it was a chance to get on a
primal level with nature and to push ourselves past our
physical limits.4
Our three course instructors arrived to greet us. We
were told to dump out all our baggage in front of us. We
went through a list to make sure everyone had the
necessities. There would be no stores to stop at on this
trip to buy something forgotten. Then we were checked
for contraband! This was a surprise for me; I wasn’t here
126
to be punished. Yet, I guess it was necessary since they
found marijuana in one person’s bag.
After our bags were checked, and we all had received
our big hiking backpacks, we were given five gallons of
water apiece.5 Food, pots, pans, dishes, tents, and other
group items were then distributed evenly among us. All
of our backpacks were stuffed and could barely be lifted.
I had to hoist mine up onto a rock just to get it on, and
then almost lost my balance with all of the extra weight.
Kathrina, being much shorter and lighter than myself,
fell backward after she put her backpack on.6 She fell
quite a few times before she got the hang of it.
Ugh, I didn’t know how I was going to hike for two
weeks with all of this extra weight. I felt bad for
Kathrina too since her backpack was as big as she was.
But then I looked out into the endless, immense beauty
that was Joshua Tree National Monument. Two weeks
would be spent in the place U2 (an 80’s pop band) sang
about in their song “Where the Streets Have No Name”.
This trip would be a difficult one, but an awesome
adventure too.7
Sentence Forms:
1) 3V Infinitive
2) 4C Both A and B supplemental; 6CC So
4) 3V Infinitive
5) 7AC After; 6CC And
7) 6CC But
127
LIU HSIEH WEN-HSIN TIAO-LUNG 506CE
The lush and the terse are preferences

That follow from the [writer's] nature.
The master at cutting things down
gets rid of words while preserving the idea,
while the master of elaboration
uses different language so that
the idea is crystal clear.
128
Descriptive Essay
Instructions:
After reading and analyzing the various previous descriptive model
essays by former students, we now give students the assignment of
composing a descriptive essay of their own.
Below are some examples of descriptive essays by students which
may be used as models for other students to follow in their own
assignments.
Not all sentence forms used have been spotted and identified. A
representative sampling serves to adequately remind students of
the prevalence of such forms in all good writing.
Not all Sentence Forms in every sentence have been identified.
Instead, a sampling of Forms are selected and identified. This
process we call formspotting. Students can formspot their
own work, work of other students, or work of professional
writers.
ADONIS BY RITA BENNETT
Sarah’s eyes popped open at the sound of an engine that

cut through the reticence of the early morn. She knew
what engine made that sound. She knew who that engine
belonged to. She raced out of bed, her legs getting
entwined and tangled in the sheets and blanket.1 Her
heart pounded in her chest. Her hand trembled – knocking
over the Madonna – as she reached for her glasses that sat
on the nightstand. Her body tingled, and excitement
exploded through it like fireworks on the Fourth of July.
Sarah opened the bedroom door, and with a single leap
that would have broken an Olympic high jump record, she
reached the stairs.2 She gripped the banister with one
hand, her nightgown with the other, and started her
descent. Her feet barely touched the steps as she sped
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down the stairs, moving faster than the speed of light,
ignoring all the dangers. She jumped the last three steps,
landing perfectly – like a gymnast lands a perfect
dismount – onto the freshly waxed floor.3 With another
single leap and a slide, she was at the gateway – the
gateway that would lead her to that sound. It was the
sound that Sarah awakened to every Saturday morning.4
Sarah opened the door, and there across the street,
mowing the lawn, was the most handsome man that she
had ever laid her eyes on – Adonis.5
She ducked down behind the porch railings, with her
precisely positioned plants shielding her from notice. From
behind the leaves, sitting on an old, half broken, wooden
chair, Sarah admired him. She admired his carefree, wind
tussled, shoulder length, nut brown hair. She admired his
face, so beautifully put together, as if an artist had drawn
it first and then carefully molded each piece to perfection,
before putting it together. She admired his body: a well-
defined temple of muscles, so tightly built, each muscle
protruding at all the right spots, sending out an aura of
sensuous heat.6
Sarah felt an intense fire sweeping and raging inside of
her, intensity she hadn’t felt for a long time.7 She leaned
back, closed her eyes and started to fantasize about him.8
All of a sudden, the chair moved out from beneath her.
She opened her eyes and before she could react, the old,
wooden chair had broken all the way [collapsed completely],
sending her, the plants, and all of the glass figurines onto
the porch floor with a loud crashing noise.
The door opened and out came her husband with a
bewildered look on his face. Sarah looked at him and said,
“Don’t even ask”.9
1) 10TP E Absolute Construction
2) 10TP B Prepositional Phrase extended
3) 9PP Dash M Prepositional Phrase
4) 11ADD Fragment
5) 9PP Dash E Word
6) 9PP Explanation Colon;10TP E Absolute Construction;…
130
7) 2S The Pair; 10TP E Noun Phrase
8) 2S Standard Series;11ADD Compound Verb
9) 10TP E Insertion direct speech
THAT OLD BUILDING BY DONOVAN E. CAPEL

In Spanish Harlem there is an old torn down building that
holds a terrible secret. The memories are trapped inside,
visible in the structure only.1 The red paint is quickly
peeling off, and the building is starting to crumble. As you
look at the metal door, you get a feeling of a prison with its
small square window and bars. The stoop of the building
is cold, made of cement that has cracked due to the
weather. You look up and see wooden framed windows in
rows of four. As you reach the door, your hand touches an
old strange shape with artistic carvings that capture one
of the last glimmers of beauty in this building.2
The dying light bulbs make the hallway dark and scary.3
The walls feel cold to the touch. Dark brown flammable
paint is splattered with carelessness on the walls. The
dirty white and black small tiles on the floors have faded
and chipped. The missing tiles show the lack of
maintenance and care. You walk up the wooden staircase,
as you feel it creak and shift under your feet.4 As you
walk along the narrow hallway, you hear the scuffle of
your shoes echo through the building. You grab the next
staircase rail, and feel where the wood has grown old and
is now splitting.
The front of the railing has a snail shape curve to it. The
little detail shows the time and care that was once put into
the design of the building.5 As you climb up the next set
of old stairs, you see two doors that lead into apartments.
The two doors are steel and painted light blue to bring life
to the dark hallway. The walls are now “dirty white” from
children and adults touching them.
The next railing is covered with grease from the air and
residue from rats. To the left of the staircase is the single
black painted door. The light on this floor is extremely
dim. The lights from the floor above and below give this
131
floor a dark, eerie feeling. You force the door open, and
you are blinded by sunlight; you choke from all of the dust
that has settled here.6 As you enter, the wooden floors
give way slightly. Rusty nails poke out of the floorboards,
and old water stains have made designs on the walls.
You look to the left and step into a small room. You see a
cabbage patch kid who has been mistreated, thrown
against the far wall.7 Old grains of cereal cover the floor
and make a stale crunching sound under your feet. A
small nightgown is on the floor covered in blood, too big
for the doll but too small for an adult.8 You could only
imagine the horror that has happened in this apartment, a
horror that fortunately you are able to walk away from and
forget, unlike the child that is haunted by the memories of
a “home” that was never compassionate.
1) 10TP E Adjective Phrase
2) 8RN That
3) 3V Gerund; 2S The Pair
4) 7AC As
5) 8RN That
6) 9PP Complicated Semicolon
7) 3V Past Participle
TOWN SQUARE BY MATTHEW SAWYER

This is the heart of the main square of town. The
impromptu shops of the bazaar are clustered around this
central gathering place; townsfolk, travelers, and
adventures meet to talk, conspire, or raise expeditions to
the far-flung reaches of the world. At the north end, an old
well, with moss-covered stones and a craggy roof, is
shaded from the moonlight by a strong, robust tree.1 The
oak is tall and straight, and it is apparent that the roots
run deep. Lined up in a circle lies some stone benches
often used for sitting and resting.
Off to the west, in midst of the town, stretches the
cobblestoned main bazaar, its lamp-lit lanes abuzz with
132
traders and vendors hawking their wares at any hour of
the day or night.2 Groups of citizens, discussing the day’s
events or preparing for nighttime hunts, gather around the
doors of the merchants whose shops border the square.
The gilded but peeling stone facade of the First World
Secure Bank dominates this side of the square.
On the other side of town square lies the commercial area
of the bazaar with the impressive façade of the slate-roofed
city hall. Citizens hold various official, religious, and social
functions here.3 Facing the square are some of the town’s
more prosperous shops, still doing business with the
many customers who frequent the streets at night.
A short distance down the road lies the park.4 The bright
light of the street lamp from the square filters through to
illuminate the area with a soft glow. A weatherworn, grey,
marble statue of a stocky human in pioneer’s clothing
overlooks the park, his stone hat encrusted by the gifts of
decades of passing birds and his right hand half-upraised
as if it once held some now-missing object.5 Off to the side
lies a small niche between two buildings that has been
neatly landscaped into a tiny moonlit garden; a careful
mosaic of flagstones interspersed with patches of trimmed
grass accentuate the area. A low stone bench rests along
one vine-covered wall, and a patch of colorful violets
surrounds a painted wooden barrel in one corner.6
1) 10TP M Prepositional Phrase
2) 10 TP E Noun Phrase
4) 11ADD Inversion
5) 10TP E Absolute Construction (2)
6) 6CC And
CHAIR BY KARL HENDRICKSON

My favorite chair sits in the corner of a room, right in front
of a desk. She is a sad chair, droopy and unexciting.1 I
can tell that my chair has a slight case of melancholy.
There is nothing special about this chair that you would
133
remember a few years down the road. Not like those fancy
mechanical moving chairs they have in the department
stores.2 She is simple in her design – nothing you would
see in a museum.3 Well, at least not until a couple of
decades from now.
Her only main features are the two fading dark blue seat
cushions: one cushion simply for back support and the
second perfect for sitting – complete with a butt grove. She
isn’t a chair for relaxing in; she is a working chair. People
who have done their sitting on her were quite disrespectful
it seems. Almost, like they didn’t know how to sit properly.
The two cushions are compacted and worn. Yet, there are
no food stains or even the smallest of crumbs to be found
on her.
She has a perfect height of three feet, and is only one and
a half feet wide. She stands by her four skinny legs – none
are broken, mind you – which are held together by three
dowel rods, glued adequately in place.4 There are only a
few scratches on her dark, tan, wooden frame, which just
shows she is aging with grace. On her left side, you will
find a ‘Property of U.S. Government’ sticker that has been
worn almost completely off. By the looks of it, someone
has tried to remove it, yet gave up out of boredom.5 With
that sticker being the only visible tag, you will have to look
underneath her to find two more tags, which say:
‘Flammability Requirements for the Bureau of Home
Furnishings’ and another telling us she was manufactured
in ‘Thomasville, North Carolina.’ Of course, no one would
ever notice those two hidden tags, for no one ever thinks
about such minor details in their home furnishings.6
She is a fine chair, not too flashy and not too
uncomfortable. 7 She has a melancholy air about her,
suggesting perhaps no one ever stops to notice what a
noble job she does as a chair.
1) 10 TP E Adjective Phrase
2) 11ADD Fragment
3) 9PP Dash Break
4) 9PP Dash M Clause supplemental
134
5) 6CC Yet
6) 6CC For
WHAT SURFING DOES TO A SURFER

by John Contreras
So what is it about surfing?1 Some of us joke about it
being our “true love” or our addiction. It does seem to
fulfill a need which, when denied, makes us think about it,
talk about it, even dream about it.2 Surfing captures
much of what it means for me to be human. That sounds
awfully cheesy, but let me give you a few thoughts to back
up why I love to surf.
Non-surfers often wonder if surfers really get much
exercise. “They are always sitting out there waiting for
another wave.” In a way, that observation is correct.3
Surfing requires a lot of short bursts of energy with some
periods of extreme effort; no one could deny the strength
you need to paddle out on a winter’s day at the North
Shore. Okay, surfing is probably more like running sprints
than running a marathon.4 But if you run enough sprints,
the effect is the same. While your arms and shoulders feel
like burnt toast after a long session, you will also feel it in
your legs and your stomach as well. I’m always surprised
at the variety of body parts that hurt after a long day at
the beach.
The person who hasn’t been scared hasn’t surfed often or
is brain dead. At least, I haven’t met anyone without a
story about a long hold down or leaving some skin on the
reef. I remember paddling out with my roommate on an
overhead day north of Ventura.5 We traded some 8-10 foot
waves and thought about how few people were out in the
water that day. Then a double overhead plus set came over
the horizon, and we found ourselves paddling for our lives,
making it over larger and larger waves by seconds.6 There
was so much energy being dumped on the inside that we
fought cross currents just to make it back to the beach.
135
That day might have been a cakewalk for a surfer making
six digits or more, but our fear was very real.
Even when it is not frightening, I can’t deny the absolute
rush of dropping in on a good size wave. The thrill of speed
on a really fast, down the line, shoulder high wave is an
experience I can’t forget.7
There is an adrenaline rush from paddling up the face of a
wave until your board is pointing straight up, popping out
the back and getting airborne. Surfing is like a roller
coaster, but you’re driving and the ride is constantly
changing.
When surfers talk about fun, we’re not talking about the
kind you have at a dinner party or at a bar. We’re talking
about the goofy teenage fun where you find yourself
smiling, and you’re not sure why. I am close to 30, and
surfing makes me feel like I am a little hobbit from back in
the days of childhood. That is not a feeling one gets from
golfing. 8
I am always amazed at the people you can meet while
surfing. They come from all walks of life and diverse
backgrounds, but all share this lifestyle. It’s so interesting
to learn about their personal lives and listen to their
stories. The world may be screwed up, but just sitting out
there on your board waiting for sets, with strangers,
talking about nothing, makes us surfers content.9
So, what is it about surfing? Surfing is fun, it’s scary, it’s
addictive, it’s natural, and it’s interpersonal.10 It’s an
emotional experience crammed into a blue green liquid
drug. I am sure there are many other activities out there
that can give you the same type of feeling; I just have not
found any yet.

1) 911ADD Question
2) 2S Triple Force
4) 3V Gerund (3)
5) 3V Gerund
136
6) 6CC And; 3V Present Participle (2)
8) 8RN Missing that
10)5R Keyword
THE GREATEST VACATION EVER BY JEFF JACKSON

The greatest vacation that I ever had wasn’t anything truly
fascinating at all. It wasn’t a big fantastic trip to some
elaborate locale; it wasn’t an ocean cruise, or even a snow
ski trip to the local mountain range. The best vacation
that I have taken, some would say wasn’t even a vacation
at all. It is most likely better described as a weekend get-
away, although my wife and I didn’t even leave town.1
All we did was get a hotel room and left our daughter with
her grandmother. This was no ordinary weekend in some
mere hotel. It was my first weekend home, after I returned
from school. And if the anxiety of anticipating my flight
home, after being away from the love of my life for more
than a year, wasn’t enough by itself, my first weekend
home was Valentine’s Day weekend.2
The hotel room – should I say penthouse – was on the top
floor overlooking the scenic view of the Arkansas River in
downtown Wichita, KS. Upon entering the room, one could
see to the right the kitchen, where the cabinets were filled
with fine china and the kitchen drawers contained the
best crystal, not to mention a fully stocked refrigerator. 3
And to one’s left was the biggest television set that I have
ever seen in my entire life, sitting in front of two highly
overstuffed black leather loveseats. Adjacent to that
monstrosity of a television set was the self-lighting
fireplace.4 On the mantle sat two, black marble panthers
in front of a wall-sized mirror. In the back half of the room
was a sliding glass door, which led to the balcony of this
30th floor luxurious room. To get to the loft which
overlooked the downstairs, one had to walk on the one
inch thick plush white padded carpet towards the stairs
that were covered in sweet smelling rose petals.5 Upstairs,
there was yet another enormous television set, and a king-
137
size bed covered in red, pink, and white balloons in the
shape of a heart.
The list goes on and on of how great the room was.6 And
even though we stayed in our own town, not only did we
have a time that we will never forget, we had the most
enjoyable and relatively inexpensive vacation of our lives.
1) 7AC Although
2) 7AC If
3) 8RN Where
4) 11ADD Inversion
5) 10TP B Verbal Phrase Infinitive
6) 8RN How
FROM A PEACEFUL DAY TO A NIGHTMARE

BY CHARLIE SANDERS JR.
Imagine yourself enjoying a dream-like peaceful day. The
day is so beautiful. There’s not a cloud in the sky; birds
are chirping; kids are outside playing. Then all of a
sudden, your nightmare begins. This is what happened to
me a couple of weeks ago.
I woke up to a gorgeous day. Everything seemed so
perfect. I was able to watch the football games on
television, without any interruptions. After three hours of
relaxation, the phone rang; it was my commanding
officer.1 He told me to get a 100% accountability of all my
soldiers. Naturally, I asked him why. He said there was a
typhoon coming through. I thought, “No way. It’s too
beautiful outside.” Nonetheless, I did what he wanted me
to do and then went on about my day.2 About two hours
later, things began to change, and I realized my nightmare
had begun.
The sky turned pitch black, like New York City during its
record-breaking blackout. The winds started blowing as if
someone turned on a giant fan. People were blown from
side to side, as if they were dancing the macarena. Trees
138
were snatched from the ground and thrown on top of cars.
You could see the ants crawling into cracks in the ground,
so they wouldn’t be swept away with the wind.3 At this
time, I began to get a little scared. I heard a cracking
sound; one of the trees was beginning to break. I figured I
should go inside at once. I guess I was too late: as I turned
to go in my room, the tree broke in two.4 The limbs of the
tree hit me on the back.
This is when I came to the definitive realization that a
peaceful day can turn into a nightmare.
2) 10TP B Word
3) 6CC So
139
140
Comparative Essay
Instructions to Students for Comparative Essay
We now give students the assignment of composing a
comparative essay of their own.
Below are some examples of comparative essays by

students which may be used as models for other
students to follow in their own assignments.
Not all sentence forms used have been spotted and

identified. A representative sampling serves to
adequately remind students of the prevalence of such
forms in all good writing.
Star Wars Vs. Star Trek

BY MICHAEL CARTER
In this galaxy – here and now – a debate is taking place.
If the Star Wars universe and the Star Trek universe
collided, who would come out on top? Many fans have
been torn between the Star Wars and Star Trek
universes for years. Both universes have fantastic and
futuristic technology. Which one is better? Which one
would hide and cower as the other triumphed?1 I have
long been a fan of Star Wars and Star Trek. I will try to
help you decide by comparing the two.
Star Wars takes place in a galaxy far, far away; Star
Trek takes place in our galaxy.2 Star Wars takes place
in the present; Star Trek takes place in the future. Star
Wars ships cannot travel outside of the galaxy they
inhabit; Star Trek ships can travel to other galaxies.
Because Star Trek is in the future, I would say Star
141
Wars has the edge because they have had a lot more
time to develop their technology.3
Starships in the Star Trek universe have two means of
interstellar travel: worm holes and warp drives.4 Star
Wars ships have three: hyperspace, star drives,
repulsors. Worm holes – the fastest form of travel – refers
to travel between only exact points in space.5
Hyperspace travel, the next fastest, requires a
hyperdrive engine and is only slightly faster than warp
speed. Warp speed has the widest range of speeds.
Starships in the Star Wars universe use repulsors to get
off the ground, then switch to star drives for traveling in
the star system. Ultimately, Star Wars and Star Trek
ships have about the same capabilities.
Weaponry is a major determining factor in the debate.
Star Wars uses ultra high-powered lasers in most of its
weapons; Star Trek relies on mainly particle weapons.6
Lasers have a much higher rate of fire than particle
weapons. Particle weapons do not cause much damage.
Star Wars uses proton torpedoes with a range of two
kilometers; Star Trek uses photon torpedoes with a
range of one thousand kilometers. A proton torpedo is
slightly more powerful. Star Wars would win in a close
space battle or ground battle. Star Trek would win if it
were a long-range space battle. Star Wars definitely has
the edge in weaponry.
The population of the Star Wars universe is many times
greater than the population of the Star Trek universe.
The Star Wars people have been at war for most of their
lives and are capable of juryrigging anything. Star Trek
people were trained in academies, not the heat of battle.
Star Trek people are also used to having everything new,
and would not know how to work with old stuff. Most
species in both galaxies are humanoid; however, Star
Wars also has a huge non-humanoid population.7 Star
Trek is divided into several primary species, which
control their own portion of space. Star Wars only has
two main divisions of space: the Empire and the New
Republic. The Star Wars people are always trying to
142
build super weapons. I would say the Star Wars people
have a definite edge over Star Trek people.
Ultimately, I would say that the major determining
factor would be the people.8 If you have an ingenious
people, then you will eventually have better weapons.
Star Trek would put up a good fight, but they would lose
many people. Eventually, they would run out of people
and be conquered. The Star Wars people have been
fighting most of their lives. They have overcome super
weapons capable of destroying the world.9 The people in
Star Wars are tough, tried and true heroes. Star Trek
does not stand a chance.
1) 2S The Pair
3) 7AC Because (2)
5) 9PP Dash M Noun Phrase
8) 10TP B Word
9) 3V Gerund
THE DIFFERENCE OF EQUALITY

BY MATTHEW GARVIN
The equality of men and women in today’s world is an
important issue receiving attention throughout
American society. Since their right to vote was won back
in the 1920s, women's equality in other areas has taken
off like a rocket and continues to burn hot. Women have
infiltrated into almost every previously thought male job
and male activity.1
There are thousands of things that men and women
participate in together. They are athletes, lawyers, and
politicians. Women are even in the military. However,
even if traditional gender roles are broken, the question
143
still remains: are men and women truly equal?2 To
answer this question, we must observe our children and
analyze their actions.
For instance, when was the last time you saw an 8 year-
old-girl running around the yard with a space-age
particle blaster and shouting "Die Zogwarg Queen" at
invisible green men fleeing in fear while making phaser
noises with her lips?3 Or how about a little boy inside
on a rainy day sitting quietly in his room combing
Barbie's hair and changing her clothes so she looks
enticing on her big date with Ken in 20 minutes?
While little boys are busy constructing pirate ships and
space vessels with their Lego pieces, how come little
girls are making cookies and English muffin pizza with
their easy-bake oven? Why are boys outside throwing
the football, playing catch, or trying to beat each other
up for the best spot to build a fort, and girls are calmly
pouring tea in the backyard for the guests of the annual
stuffed-animal festival?4 Wouldn't it seem weird if your
son was putting on lipstick and blush and eyeliner to
look pretty, and your daughter was out rolling in the
mud getting grass stains on her pants and cuts and
bruises on her arms?
If men and women are portrayed as equals and have
equal gender responsibilities, why aren't young children
mimicking our belief? Do we teach little girls it's
unacceptable or unlady-like to play with guns and beat
space aliens up, and tell little boys they're a sissy if they
play with dolls and bake cookies – or is this behavior
instinctively learned on their own?5
Everyone knows that there is a certain equality in the
professional, adult world.6 Males are doing traditional
female jobs and females are filling traditional male
positions. Women have become politicians, lawyers, and
bankers, while men are becoming nurses, cooks, and
staying home to raise the kids.7 It's acceptable today for
a man to share his feelings and a woman to have big
muscles. The future is blending traditional gender roles
into one, with few distinctions besides the obvious that
144
keep them separate. With all the equality, are we still
truly equal? Maybe we should ask the children.
1) 2S The Pair
2) 7AC If (inconsequential if)
3) 3V Present Participle (2)
4) 3V Present Participle (3); 3V Past Participle
5) 8RN Missing that
6) 2S Compact Duo
7) 7AC While
BARRIERS BETWEEN KOREANS AND AMERICANS

BY CHANG GAMBLIN
As a Korean married to an American, there are some

times when I don't understand my husband's
oversensitive reactions to some Koreans' behavior –
including mine.1 One day I was in his office, and a
Korean worker visited my husband who was working on
a computer faced toward the wall. The Korean worker
touched my husband's back to get his attention instead
of calling his name; my husband looked very upset till
the Korean went out. I also sometimes don't understand
some American behaviors that embarrass me. If we
know the differences in each other's culture, we can
minimize our misunderstandings.2 The following are
some examples of behaviors between Koreans and
Americans, which are seen as poor manners in one
culture, and yet acceptable in the other.
First, considering behaviors, some Koreans roughly
touch the arms or shoulders of Americans to get their
attention instead of saying "Excuse me." This is
considered an invasion of privacy to Americans. Most
Koreans sniffle continuously instead of blowing their
noses; this sound is unpleasant to Americans. Korean
parents let their children disturb others in public places
such as restaurants and supermarkets as if the places
145
were playgrounds; young children are strictly taught to
behave themselves and not to disturb others in America.
On the opposite side, some Americans also make
Koreans uncomfortable. When Americans ask someone
to come closer, they use an index finger; Koreans use it
only when beckoning animals.3 Americans use too
much eye contact during a conversation; Koreans think
it is impolite to stare directly at someone.4 Americans
smoke in front of older people; Koreans think it is rude
and disrespectful.
Secondly, considering dining table manners, when
Koreans want to get something on the table, they reach
across the table because they don't want to interrupt
those who are eating; Americans consider this bad
manners, and they think it is more polite to ask or
request that something be passed.5 Koreans put their
elbows on the table when eating; Americans do not, and
think this is also a display of bad manners. Some
Koreans wave a fork, a knife, or chopsticks around while
conversing during meals; it is considered impolite by
Americans. When Koreans eat hot noodles or soup, they
slurp loudly; Americans don't make noise while eating
and do not talk with food in their mouths. On the other
hand, Americans blow their noses loudly in public,
especially at a restaurant during their meal, but this is
extremely disgusting to Koreans. Americans eat snacks
or other food in the classroom during a teacher's
lecture; this is very impolite to Koreans because they
think Americans don't respect their professors.6
Americans pay only for their meal after suggesting
having dinner together; Koreans, especially in the older
generation, are not accustomed to going Dutch.7
As you can see, the two cultures are not the same.8
Behaviors acceptable in American culture may not be
acceptable in Korean culture, and vice versa. By
understanding both cultures, we can minimize these or
other misunderstandings and cultural gaps. I hope
Koreans and Americans can work and live together more
harmoniously.
146
1) 9PP Dash Break
2) 7AC If
4) 8RN Missing that
5) 6CC And
7) 11ADD Especially
8) 7AC As
147
KITCHEN AND EATING INSTRUMENTS IN THE
EAST AND THE WEST BY SEUNG WOOK LEE
In Europe, many people use a knife and fork; in Asia,
many people use chopsticks.1 Also, other culinary
instruments of the East and West are different. Did you
ever think about which eating instruments are better
than the others? Let us see how they compare.
In the West, people cut too-big-to-eat things with a
knife; however, in Korea, people often use scissors.2
Korean people cut noodles, pork, kimchi and other
foods using scissors. I think scissors are more suitable
than a knife. Although a knife needs a flat base to cut
food on, scissors can cut the food which is put in a
bowl. Also, a knife can cut food only straight. However,
scissors can cut to make numerous shapes of food. And
Jim Moulton, an American educational consultant,
said mastery of scissors is "even one of the early steps
on the road to Advanced Placement physics or
chemistry". Because Korean children use scissors, they
can perhaps train their brain at an earlier age than
children in the West.3
The instruments which show the most differences
between East and West are chopsticks and the fork and
knife. Let me explain the advantages of using
chopsticks. If we use a knife and fork, we must use both
hands. However, chopsticks require only one hand to
pick up the food. Instead of using two hands, using just
one hand is more efficient and requires less energy. 4 If
we use just one hand to eat our meals, we can do other
things – such as reading a book, gesturing while talking,
or sending a cell phone message. Therefore, if we use
chopsticks, we can spend our lunch or dinner time more
efficiently.
According to some research in Korean science articles, if
a young student uses chopsticks, her or his intelligence
and concentration rise. In those articles, people who use
chopsticks have an early start on developing mental
powers.5 In that research, when they gave teams of
148
people riddles, people who used chopsticks for a long
time did better than those who didn't use them.
So, using chopsticks increases our mental power.6 This
is important for young children when new brain
pathways are being formed.
Perhaps someone who uses chopsticks can make their
brain work better when they use their fingers to hold
and pick up objects accurately. The success rate of
genetic research is higher in Asian countries than in
Europe or America. Maybe this is the effect of using
chopsticks. Asians can do many minute things such as
picking up a pea or a grain of rice using chopsticks;
they can also splice DNA and make VLSI chips.7 Thus,
because chopsticks require manual dexterity, the use of
chopsticks assists one to do minute and detailed tasks.
Do you know Nanta? Nanta is a Korean performance
group. They show another difference between East and
West. In the West, kitchen cutlery is used for eating
something; however, the people of Korea use kitchen
cutlery and implements as musical instruments. In
particular, Nanta uses them as percussion instruments.
Nanta’s performance is rhythmical and powerful and
humorous, and even sometimes looks dangerous.8 Their
shows exemplify the creative thinking of Eastern people.
However, I have heard that some French Canadians are
very good at keeping rhythm by playing a pair of
spoons.9 The two spoons are held one facing up and the
other facing down, back to back, held in one hand. The
seated player alternately hits the two spoons between
his outstretched palm and his thigh.
I am sure people have used chopsticks to do other
things. But in terms of having children apply some laws
of physics at an early age, I think the eating
instruments of the East offer a better challenge to the
child, along with several other advantages, compared to
those of the West.
149
3) 7AC Because
5) 3V Gerund
6) 3V Gerund
8) 2S Lyrical Series
9) 3V Gerund (2)
ON TOP OF THE WORLD BY ARAM L. MESINA

I have come to conclude that I live life in two ways:
living life the healthy way and living life the lazy way.1
Sad to say, I'm living life the lazy way at this point in
time; however, there are a few times when I have lived
life the healthy way. What do I mean by this?2 Well, the
healthy way to me means going to the gym almost every
day, eating six healthy meals a day, and getting the
right amount of sleep each night. On the other hand,
when I live the lazy way, all I do is smoke cigarettes,
drink alcohol, and fail to get enough sleep or sometimes,
even sleep too much, like on weekends.
When I live life the healthy way, I have a set schedule,
and I have everything planned out. Everything I
consume is both healthy and nutritious.3 I wake up, eat
a fruit, like an apple or banana, drink some water, and
get ready for PT [physical training]. After some good PT,
I eat a good breakfast, which consists of eggs, sausage,
rice, yogurt, and two glasses of milk. After breakfast, I
get ready for work and at about 10:00a.m. before lunch,
I use my break time to drink a protein shake. Then at
lunchtime, I eat another healthy meal, which usually
includes the main course, some salad, a fruit, and
another two glasses of milk.4 About two or three hours
later, I have another protein shake. When my work
comes to an end at about 5:00p.m., I have another
nutritious meal, which again includes two glasses of
milk.
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My intense workout at a nearby gym begins after an
hour of letting the food digest. My grueling workout lasts
about an hour and a half, and then I go home and
prepare myself some tuna helper or some macaroni and
cheese; they're both very delicious and very easy to
cook.5 After that last meal of the day, I finally get a
chance to shower and relax a little for a couple of hours.
I'm usually in bed by 10:00p.m., but not before I drink
another protein shake. All these shakes I drink are all
part of my plan to put on some extra pounds and some
extra muscles.6
On weekends, while everyone is out drinking liquor and
beer, I skip out on all the partying and continue
drinking my water and shakes. When I follow this
program, I feel great about myself, because I'm in great
shape and in great health. I feel like the Incredible Hulk
– my muscles always ready to explode.7 I receive
compliments from people about how good I look and
how strong I am. I am having fun and feel like I'm on top
of the world.
But then something happens: I go on vacation or a field
exercise, and my world suddenly comes crashing down
on me.8 This brings me to my present way of living life –
the lazy way. Right now, I have just returned from
vacation and, boy, am I being very lazy. Basically, my
days are pretty much the same; for example, instead
of using my breaks to drink a protein shake, I use that
time to smoke a cigarette. Moreover, after every meal, I
sit down, relax, and enjoy some more cigarettes. After
work, I lie down and fall asleep, instead of going to the
gym to get in shape. Then I wake up a couple hours
later and shower, so I can go out with a couple of
friends to some nearby clubs off-post.9 We stay out
pretty late and decide to finally go home after drinking
some beers. The only thing keeping us from staying out
later is the fact that we have to wake up for PT the next
morning. My weekends are even worse; I stay out till
maybe five or six in the morning, drink too much, and
do not wake up till one or two in the afternoon.
151
Nonetheless, I am still having fun – a different kind of
fun, of course.10 But in the back of my mind, there is
always the thought of going back to the gym again and
living life the healthy way. It's always hard getting
myself back on track, but I've been through it many
times before, and I know sooner or later I can do it.
Either way, I am having fun, but if it had to go one way,
I'd definitely choose the healthy way; nothing feels better
than being on top of the world.
1) 8RN That
2) 11ADD Question
3) 4C Both and
4) 8RN Which
5) 9PP Complicated Semicolon
6) 8RN Missing that
7) 9PP Dash Break
9) 6CC So
10) 9PP Dash Break
At first glance on the surface, the essay below

is about the attractions of shopping for
women, but at a deeper level it is a implied
comparative essay about the differences
between the natures, tastes, and habits of
men and women viewed from the perspective
of the practice of shopping.
SHOP TILL YOU DROP BY CORY D. WALTON

There are over sixty thousand shopping malls in the
United States today. This is a huge increase since the
early 1960s when enclosed shopping malls had their
start. The majority of stores in the malls today are there
to attract women with their hunger for shopping. Many
men have long suffered from the increase in malls
152
because the malls have made women the most difficult
people with whom to shop. Women, unlike men, go to
the mall for a number of reasons. There are women who
stay at the mall all day and do not buy anything; there
are some who try on everything but can’t make up their
minds; finally, there are those who buy everything, then
decide to take the items back once they get home.1
Oftentimes women go shopping just to look around.
This is also known as “window shopping”. This is when
a woman goes to see what the new styles are or what
the latest fashions are. I can remember, as a little boy,
going to the shopping mall with my mother and trying to
understand why she was taking so long looking at
clothing, shoes, and items for the house.2 The worst
part about it is that she wouldn’t buy anything. We
spent most of the day going from store to store, with her
saying things like “That would look nice in my living
room” or “I could get this to go in my bathroom.” She
would also go into shoe stores and have the salesman
get her shoes from the stockroom with no intentions of
buying the shoes. At the end of the day, we would go
home empty-handed.
Not only do women spend all day at the mall and not
buy anything, but they also try on everything at the
store, and can never seem to make up their minds.3 I
have been to the mall with my wife, gone into every store
in the mall, and all I heard was, “This is too short or too
long,” or “These pants are too tight or they are too
loose,” or “This is too expensive.” When we would finally
find something she liked, then we would have to find
shoes to go with the outfit. And I would end up going
through the same thing all over again.4
Just when I thought that it was all over and that she
had finally gotten something she liked, she would wait
till we got all the way home and then decide that she
didn’t like the clothes and wanted to take the items
back.5 For some strange reason, neither her clothing
nor shoes would fit anymore, nor did they look the
same.6 Maybe, she had grown on the way home.
Somehow the lights at our house changed the color of
153
the clothing because she didn’t like the colors or the
way the clothes looked anymore. After hearing this, I felt
as if I was losing my mind.
You would think that I would have learned from past
experiences, yet I still end up getting tricked into going
shopping.7 Every time I go, the same thing happens all
over again. I am still trying to figure out why women are
like this. But I realize finally that men and women are
indeed different, and they do things that neither gender
understands.8
1) 9PP Trio Semicolon
2) 3V Present Participle (2)
3) 4C Not Only, But
4) 11ADD Beginning Conjunction
5) 7AC When; 11ADD Compound Noun Clause
6) 4C Neither Nor
7) 6CC Yet
8) 11ADD Beginning Conjunction; 6CC And
154
Assessment of the Course of Instruction so
far with Suggestions for Employing Alternate
Methods of Writing
Students in Semester 1 wrote and shared with their fellow
students on the blackboard at least two examples for each sub-
form of the eleven forms of the sentence. They also were given
four (or more) assignments of writing paragraphs (starting with
one paragraph and ending with four or five paragraphs) in which
they were asked to incorporate, notate, and footnote several
specified examples of the eleven forms that they earlier practiced
writing as just isolated sentences.
Now that they have completed those four assignments in the

initial volume, at the start of this second semester (if not before
this), students should begin by being asked to practice some
alternative methods of learning to write before writing longer
essays.
Why should they practice alternate methods of writing? Well,

first, not every method works equally well for every student.
Second, no one method can work with complete perfection for
even a single student. In addition, every method that has
achieved some success and reputation as a method has been
found very useful or slightly useful for many students, so all
students should be exposed to all the method for their possible
benefits. Finally, the more approaches, methods, and
perspectives on writing to which students are exposed, the more
they are required, encouraged, and incited to be flexible, curious,
and thoughtful in their knowledge and reflection on the structure
and uses of language in varied contexts and situations.
The distinct advantage of the New Angle on Writing is that it is

more clearly defined, integrated, systematic, and comprehensive
in its presentation of the English language as a whole. However, it
validates, encourages, and invites the use of all other earlier
methods and approaches as useful and necessary elements of a
fully effective English course of instruction.
155
So, we definitely encourage the use of other methods of
writing at this point at the start of semester 2 or earlier if found
desirable and helpful by teachers. For example, students might
be encouraged to do free writing per the writing philosophy and
instructions of Peter Elbow. Most definitely, they should have
at least several in-class sessions where they employ the
method of Sentence Combining as developed by William
Strong and others.
Sentence Combining is an excellent method for teaching

students to appreciate that writing involves choosing the
best of available options for expressing oneself. Sentence
Combining also highlights the necessity, effectiveness, and
value of rewriting the first, second, and third drafts of a
composition assignment. An additional great virtue of
Sentence Combining is that it highlights that sentences are
built from initial, simple kernel sentences that are then
expanded and developed by additions into final whole or
cumulative sentences. Thus, the structure of sentences
becomes more visible to students, and they realize that
sentences must be constructed by analysis, addition, and
rearrangement. They become less anxious and apprehensive
about changing and revising their sentences and more
confident and competent in reworking and rewriting their
compositions.
However, when students first learn the eleven forms of the

sentence before doing Sentence Combining exercises, they are far
more confident and competent in being able to employ a
repertoire of choices in combining sentences, and the exercises
are far more beneficial to them. The exercises in turn reinforce
the idea that no one form of any sentence is suitable or
appropriate for all occasions, and that the whole purpose of
knowing all the forms is to choose the best and most
appropriate form for any particular writing purpose and
audience. The two methods serve to illuminate and reinforce one
another and together synergistically increase the competence and
confidence of student writing.
156
Remaining Several Assignments
Before Final Examination
Students should now be given several assignments of four to
five paragraphs where they are allowed to write freely without
the requirement of notating and footnoting specified forms.
Such assignments will permit them for the first time to
breathe more freely and to simply follow without hindrance
the natural flow of their inspiration and writing style, giving
free rein to their distinctive voice and choice of language.
Hopefully, however, their earlier exposure and practice of the
full range of sentence forms will promote their confidence and
competence to write better than they did previously and with
more discipline and variety of language lengths and effects
than was characteristic of their earlier writing in the free form
manner. Over time and with continued practice, they will
learn their unique way of combining with maximum
effect the natural ease of writing freely with the
disciplined forms of the sentences.
Teachers may give any specific topic they wish or leave it to
students to find their own topic. Below, we provide an
assignment that has worked effectively in our classes. The
actual assignment itself was not our own invention but
borrowed with permission from a fellow writing instructor at
UMUC, Peter Bollington. The assignment as written by Peter
is given below. We told students to write the assignment
without any notation or footnoting of the required forms.
Since the paragraphs below are not notated and footnoted,
teachers may wish to have students practice sentence
recognition of the 11 sentence forms by having them, singly
or in groups, notate and footnote the paragraphs below.
Below is the description of this assignment for students as
well as a sample model of the assignment that we gave the
students to assist them with their character sketches. We
place some of the better sketches also below to serve as
models for other students to follow.
157
CHARACTER SKETCH
COMPOSITIONS
Composition Instructions
1. Define/describe a personality type. Use one paragraph.
2. Use a type of your own choice, or select one of the following:
the buck shifter
the serial womanizer/man-izer
the know it all
the bully
the gossip
the micromanager
the hypochondriac
the pessimist
the optimist
the wild one
3. Use the topic as a title (no quotation marks!) or a version of
the topic.
Examples for title: Mr. Knows It All; Miss Don’t Blame Me!
4. Move from general to specific as a pattern of development —
that means start with a thesis (or focus) sentence which
generally defines the type.
Add further general clarification.
Then, use a specific example of someone you know who is a
good example of this type.
Show this person in action, being the personality type you
have chosen to describe.
5. See next page for example of the Chronic Complainer.
(You may choose this type but if so, use your own ideas and
language to express yourself!)
Develop your paragraphs with the appropriate unity,
coherence, cohesion, and emphasis. Think before and
after you write, and revise your sentence to express your
thoughts in language as clear and concise as possible.
158
THE CHRONIC COMPLAINER
The chronic complainer is a person who seems to feast
on dissatisfaction. Very little, or nothing, will bring forth
hearty approval, and the result is constant gloom. John
B. is an example of this breed. Riding on a ship with
him, I found his presence so oppressive I eventually took
to avoiding him. At breakfast the meal was always
underdone or tasteless. Fond memories of magnificent
breakfasts in luxury hotels held his attention, and he
pushed away his half-eaten breakfast with disgust. No
matter the weather, it was always wrong. A cool breeze
on the fantail with a pleasant view of sky and ocean
reminded him that he was confined on a miserable piece
of iron rolling in the sea. His quarters were always either
too hot or too cold. In Oahu he was “sick of this (insert
obscenity) heat.” No place he visited pleased him. In
Pohang the women had square faces and were cold. The
high point of his visit was being charged five dollars for
an apple by an old man pushing a cart full of huge red
apples. When he almost walked off a pier in Busan and
drowned himself in a fit of drunken complaining, I felt
an urge to let him do it. Instead, I steered him toward
the ship where he could sleep and wake up to complain
some more. He never smiled and he never joked. John
Bozich, like all chronic complainers, was a miserable
human being.
____________________________________
SLUGMAN by Matthew Ormita

Slugman sits around all day, continuously thinking of
great things he could be doing with his life; however,
he’s either too tired or too lazy or too frightened to get
up and take control of his life and turn his dreams into
reality. To him, life is nothing more than an epic drama
unfolding on nature’s silver screen, and he is its
ultimate critic.
Eugene Brown was an old friend of the family’s. He had
a reputation of always being tired, always being quiet,
159
and always being lazy. Though I never really talked to
him, he fascinated me. My grandma would often hold
family get-togethers at her house and Uncle Eugene was
always the last one to show up. The whole family would
always smile and greet him, and he would always
respond with a grunt. There were two main things he
would always ask at a party: “Eh, wherea da beeah
stay?” and “May, you when make lau-lau or what?”
Basically, that’s about all he’d say. The rest of the time
he’d just sit around sucking away on Bud-Light six
packs, like little baby Joe feeding on Aunty May’s
breast. Although everyone knew Uncle Eugene, it was
almost as if he was nothing but a ghost lurking in the
shadows of his old friends. He would often sit at the side
of the house, eating a mixed plate and drinking a beer,
speaking words of wisdom to himself. Sometimes he’d
yell, sometimes he’d laugh, and sometimes he would
even cry. I know because I spotted him on numerous
occasions; however, I never approached him, instead I
would sit and hide in a dark corner and listen to him.
Uncle E. said some truly wonderful things at the side of
that house; the most beautiful, profound words and
thoughts – words and thoughts to live by – would just
flow from him endlessly. He never shared these words or
these thoughts with anyone – just himself. Perhaps he
wanted it that way.
I asked my dad about Uncle E. and his odd ways once.
He responded that Uncle E. had been that way since
kindergarten. He’s never really changed. He, along with
his vocabulary, got bigger, but that’s about it. “My dad
knew about his old friend’s talks with himself; in fact,
the whole family did, but after a while, they just didn’t
want to be bothered with it anymore. My grandma once
said, “Eugene always had the biggest dreams and the
biggest goals, but he never had any motivation or
confidence to achieve them. He’d just sit at our dinner
table and ramble on about his big plans and his deep
thoughts, but then he’d just end up drinking himself to
sleep. After a time – a long time – we all just got tired of
it and ignored him.” I suppose that’s why Uncle Eugene
was always alone, talking to himself at the side of the
160
house. It didn’t matter how much noise he made
because no one cared anymore.
Uncle Eugene died a few years ago; nobody really knew
he died. We didn’t go to his funeral since we live
overseas. We called home to find out what happened.
According to grandma, his funeral service was almost
empty. Some of his best friends didn’t even show up. He
had no wife, he had no children, and in the end, it
seemed he didn’t even have many friends. All those
profound words and thoughts were nothing more than a
waste of breath, a waste of time, a waste of life. Eugene
Brown lived alone; Eugene Brown died alone.
MR. COOL by Rita Chung

Bo Benson was the most positive fellow you could ever
imagine. He rarely complained about anything that
seemed to be a big deal to others. When he would have a
terrible day, he would brush it off and say that
tomorrow was another clean, fresh day. When
intolerable individuals would disrespect him, he would
smile and, oddly enough, buy them lunch. It was easier
for him to be nice to those who weren’t the friendly type,
than to be upset or get riled up over their bad attitude.
No obstacle could bring his optimistic outlook down,
and whatever the situation in which he was placed, Bo
Benson always played it cool.
One day, after an exhausting day at work, he returned
to his apartment and whipped himself up a small snack.
As he made his way towards the bedroom, he found his
wife in the bed with another man, who happened to be
his best friend. Now, you would think in this particular
setting, Bo would have gone ballistic and exploded
straight through the roof. On the contrary, Bo invited
his best friend for a quick bite to eat in the kitchen and
asked him if his wife was as good in bed as he had
expected. In the end, Bo moved out of the apartment
and cut off all contact with his former best friend and
161
divorced his wife. “There’s other fish in the sea,” Bo told
himself. He never lost his cool.
One evening, as Bo was transferring his belongings from
his old apartment to his new apartment, a short, husky
man appeared in his presence. Bo could obviously tell
that this desperate being was in need of some food,
shelter, and a good shower. The stranger, however, had
no intentions of being a gentleman of any sort, and
pulled a gun on Bo, demanding his wallet. Bo just stood
there, and invited the stranger into his old apartment to
fix him up a hearty meal. The stranger could not resist
the offer and followed Bo willingly. Bo introduced
himself and told the man that he could have anything
he wanted in the apartment. The stranger thanked Bo.
Of course, Bo didn’t mind doing a favor for a person who
was in need of help. He told the stranger to stay in the
apartment for as long as he liked. “Have a good night,
and enjoy your stay,” said Bo, as he left the apartment
and made his way to his new apartment.
On a Monday morning, Bo went into work – with that
indisputable smile of his – and was prepared for
anything thrown his way. Bo was an employee at the
huge electronic store, and he worked for the customer
service department. Many consumers who have
questions or want to comment on an item at the store
are directed to the customer service department. And
with the numerous questions and comments expressed
by customers on a daily basis, there is always that one
particular customer who has a vulgar complaint and will
display his temper in an inappropriate manner. This
particular customer was an elderly, frumpy man, with a
fiery temper. He was criticizing the digital camera he
had purchased a few days ago, exclaiming that the
salesperson had sold him a faulty camera. He demanded
a refund and stubbornly planted himself in front of Bo’s
desk. As usual, Bo smiled and offered the old man a cup
of coffee and a cream cheese bagel. The man declined
Bo’s offer and continued his uncontrollable rant. Bo got
out of his chair, walked around his desk, and asked to
see the man’s camera.
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“There’s nothing wrong with this camera, sir. I believe
you just misplaced the batteries in the opposite
direction from where they were supposed to be placed ,”
explained Bo.
“That’s ridiculous!” screamed the customer.
“Oh, you’re right, sir,” agreeing with the man. “Let me
fix that for you, sir,” said Bo.
Bo raised the camera above his head, and released it
without any regards to the man’s reaction.
The camera slammed onto the tile floor and broke into
multiple pieces.
“What is wrong with you?!” shrieked the old man.
“Your see, sir, there is nothing wrong with your camera.
Well, there was nothing wrong with your camera until I
dropped it. Now it is in a million pieces. Please, pick up
what’s left of your camera and bring it back to my desk
so we can discuss what the problem is with your camera
now. Also, please show me a copy of your receipt, or we
cannot accept the damaged product. That would be
much appreciated.”
The man was shocked, appalled, and speechless. Bo
brought out a broom and a dust pan for the man,
smiled, and returned to his desk. In the end, the old
man received his money back for the camera.
Coincidently however, instead of getting fired from his
job, Bo surprised the store’s manager when he fixed the
broken camera. Apparently, Bo was quite the handy
man, and the manager found him to be useful if
anything was to break or fall apart in the store. Bo was
moved from the customer service department to the
installation and mechanics department; all in all, Bo
kept his cool the entire time.
You may have met a small handful of people that are
similar to Mr. Bo Benson. Remember, it’s the people
who keep their cool that end up living a pleasant and
simple life. When things get rough, display that keen
smile of yours; keep your cool, and without the slightest
hesitation, invite your problem for a snack or two.
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THE KING OF LIARS by Matthew J.
Gavin
Throughout life, many different kinds of people will
come and go. Some may leave an impression on us that
we remember for a long time. In general, we remember
those people that impact our lives for their positive
aspects and the good they brought to us. However, there
is an occasional somebody that will leave a stain of
negativity wherever they go. They are not bad people
really, but they are usually disliked for a specific reason
or quality.
One such person that I remember negatively, I met
during basic training. His name was Christian M.J. He
had a compulsion to make up a lie for just about
everything that came out of his mouth. When I first met
him, he exaggerated about what the army had given him
in his enlistment contract. He claimed that he got a
$10,000 signing bonus, guaranteed ranger training,
above Top-Secret security clearance, and an R.O.T.C.
scholarship to WVU (West Virginia University) once he
got out. One day after training before lights out, he
mentioned that he ran track and how it was his favorite,
as well as his best, sport. He wanted us to believe he
was the best 400m runner in the entire state of New
York. Later, he said the Drill Sergeant recommended
him for the All-Army Track and Field Team, and that
they would cut his training short in order that he could
try-out.
Well, time proved that to be a hoax. He would lie about
things he didn’t need to lie about, such as what time he
woke up or how many sisters he had. He would even lie
about things when he knew that we knew he was lying.
After our last P.T. test at basic training, he told us that
he maxed his sit-ups. When, in fact, another guy named
Eric from our room was the one holding his feet, and
knew how many he really did. During A.I.T., as it came
time for the final exam to determine who would
graduate or not, he lied about the score he got on his
test. He told me he received a 94. That’s fine, but why lie
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to the person who is sitting next to you and can see that
you only got an 84?
Christian M.J. was an unusual character. All of his
lying will undoubtedly catch up to him someday,
hopefully when telling the truth will count the most. He
may not be much of a friend or a trustworthy co-worker,
but I have to give him credit: he could sure imagine
some creative stories.
THE ‘FLIBBERDIGIBIT’ by Melinda Robertson

What is a Flibberdigibit? A Flibberdigibit is an unofficial
term that I use to describe co-workers with certain
annoying, yet somehow endearing personality traits.
People with these traits are monuments of inefficiency in
the workplace; they are not task-oriented people,
preferring to work on several projects simultaneously,
flittering from one project to another – often getting
them confused – and never getting anything finished.
Deadlines, schedules, and time clocks mean nothing to
them. They have cluttered desks, cluttered minds,
cluttered handwriting, and (once you get to know them)
strangely cluttered personal lives. However, balancing
out these undesirable traits is their innate friendliness:
a winning smile, an infectious giggle, a self-effacing
sense of humor, a childlike sweetness, and a seemingly
untarnishable innocence. When all of these traits are
combined, it creates a paradox; they annoy you with
their ineptitude, yet you can’t dislike them because they
are just so darn nice.
My friend and former co-worker, Gloria, is a
Flibberdigibit. We were introduced when I was hired at a
credit union to fill the position that she had recently
vacated so that she could transfer to another
department. Even though she no longer worked in my
department, she was assigned to be my trainer. Little
did I know that my nightmare was about to begin.
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As with any new job, it takes a few days, weeks, or even
months to settle in and get comfortable with your new
surroundings. With this in mind, I sat patiently beside
her, pen and notepad in hand ready to write down
whatever wisdom she wanted to bestow upon me, as the
training began. Within minutes I noticed that she was –
nicely put – disorganized. (This should have been my
first clue as to her true personality.) However, because
she was so nice, I mistakenly rationalized her
disorganization by assuming that she had not been told
that she would be training another employee. Since she
was not expecting me, she was unprepared. Because
she was unprepared, I didn’t mind waiting while she
chatted nervously and tried to consolidate her many
piles of clutter into one giant pile. An hour and a half
later, when she was done, she continued chatting with
me. (This should have been my second clue.)
However, because I have trained another employee
before, I understood the reason behind her incessant
chatting: it would be easier for her to train me if she
knew something about my personality. I spent my entire
first day on the job with Gloria; we ate lunch together,
and even went to the ladies room together, for a grand
total of nine hours. At the end of the day, I knew enough
about her to write her biography, but absolutely nothing
about my new job. Although she was a nice person and I
liked her, I quietly requested a new trainer in order to
keep myself from getting fired.
Over the months that followed, I learned more about
Gloria. Her disorganization and chattiness were
infamous. The position that she had transferred into
was a lower position, and she had requested it because
she felt that it was more customer-oriented (which she
was good at) and less detail-oriented (which she wasn’t
good at) like my job. It also meant that she could spend
the entire day on the telephone talking to people who
had questions about their accounts. Things went
relatively well for a while. We had problems every now
and then because she had messed something up, but
the problems weren’t so bad that I couldn’t fix them.
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Every time I had to correct one of her mistakes, I would
get mad at her, but because of her personality, I could
never stay mad at her – nobody could, she was just too
nice.
In the end, Gloria got fired. The last straw came when
she “forgot” to cancel a debit card after it had been
reported as stolen. The thief used the card to go on a
$3,000 shopping spree, and since the card had not been
cancelled, the credit union had to reimburse the money
out of pocket. Altogether, she had been given more
second chances than any other employee in the history
of the company, not on the basis of her ability, but on
the basis of her personality.
THE DRAMA QUEEN by Anjeanette Hammell
Have you ever met anyone that is so melodramatic that

you never know if the predicaments in their lives
warrant serious concern or not? Well, permit to me to
introduce you to my friend “T” – we will use just her
initial so that she can remain anonymous – the drama
queen. But before I tell you about her, let me explain
what a drama queen is. A drama queen is a person that
exaggerates every situation and circumstance in their
lives whether good or bad. Whenever this person is
around, you can guarantee that he or she will always
manage somehow to become the center of attraction.
You can count on the fact, when they are in the vicinity,
that there will definitely be a moment to remember.
Take “T”, for example; you can be assured she’ll always
leave a lasting impression wherever she goes.
Every day for T is drama. There never has to be a
special moment or event needed to trigger her impulse
to make a production of a situation. She is always
prepared to perform for even the simplest of situations.
Once we were on a road trip from Sasebo to Yokosuka.
There were five of us in the van, which departed at six in
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the evening. Prior to our leaving Sasebo we decided,
since only 3 of us had a Japanese driver’s license and
the trip would take possibly fifteen hours, that each
person should drive five hours. It was also decided that
the transfer of drivers would be made at rest stops
where we could also visit the restroom, have a snack
breaks, and refuel the van. Tina, my friend with a
license, chose to drive first, T second, and I would drive
last. When it was time for T and me to switch as drivers,
we stopped at a rest stop just as before during the
transfer of drivers. Disregarding my objection, T got a
coffee.
After only fifteen minutes on the road again, T exclaims
“Angie, we need to stop”. Knowing what she meant, I
told her that she had to wait until we reached the next
rest stop because there was no way I could turn around.
Two minutes later she says again “Oh my God, Angie we
have got to stop”. This time, truly believing this was an
extreme emergency, I began speeding down the highway
to reach the next rest stop as quickly as possible. Upon
arrival at the rest stop, she yells, waking the other
passengers, jumps out the van holding her rear, and
proceeds to the restroom in the same manner, yelling
and holding her rear.
One of the other passengers realized this would be a
good time for her to use the restroom before continuing
the rest of the trip. When the other passenger returned,
she mentioned that even though T was in the restroom
all alone, she was still being dramatic. She was still
yelling and Ohing so loud that you could hear her at the
entrance of the restroom. Upon her return from the
restroom, she was still being melodramatic about the
situation while stating that she only had a bit of gas.
This goes to show that whether she was alone or with a
group, the drama continued.
Another fond memory of one of T’s Academy Award
winning performances was when we gave her a surprise
birthday party. However, this party was not really a
surprise to her because someone had let the information
slip in her presence. She entered the house where the
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party was talking place, we all said surprise, and the
drama began. She yelled out, grabbed her chest, and
gasped for air as if she were about to die. We all looked
at her and began to laugh, because we all knew that she
had known about the party prior to her arrival, but this
allowed for another page in the drama queen’s book of
outstanding performances.
So if you’re ever around someone, and they begin to
demonstrate some of these attributes, you can surely
label them as a drama queen.
THE HYPOCHONDRIAC by Natsuko

Iwashita
The Hypochondriac is the person who worries all the
time about their health. They also have strong beliefs
about whatever they think is good for their health.
Meanwhile, this type of person can sometimes get sick
even when they are not sick simply because they believe
they are sick.
I met Mrs. Hypochondriac at the company where I
previously worked. She was a mother of three children
and looked like a very domestic type of person. At that
time, she often spent her weekends enjoying her hobby –
gardening. At her lovely garden, she grew organic
vegetables, instead of flowers, for her and her family’s
health meals. She also raised some herbs there: lemon
balm, sweet basil, etc. She sometimes picked up some
fresh herbs from her garden and made us herb tea for
break time; according to her, herbs could make us feel
relaxed. I normally enjoyed her tea with a fresh leaf and
looked forward to her homemade cookies which were
brought with her tea. She was very particular about
what she ate. Her sugarless sweetener, low fat
mayonnaise, low salt soy sauce, cider vinegar and black
vinegar which she used for her lunch and teatime were
always essential items in our refrigerator at work.
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However, there were some contradictions about who
Mrs. Hypochondriac was. In spite of her great effort, she
looked a little overweight, and she herself complained
about that. Though there were her healthy items in the
refrigerator, there were always biscuits, chocolates, and
cookies in her desk drawer.
Second, she easily got sick. Headaches, toothaches,
stomachaches – these were the symptoms she often
had. Fortunately, they did not usually become very
serious. But she could get sick from various, for me
unexpected, reasons, unfortunately. The previous
night’s quarrel with her son, rain, and her dentist’s
treatment to her tooth caused her sickness, for example.
Once she got sick, she suffered at her desk all day,
wondering if she should go see a doctor or not,
searching for deeper causes.
I spent almost three years next to her desk at work. As
a whole, I liked her, including her hypochondria.
Although there was nothing I could do for her sickness,
there was something I could learn about her attitude to
health. One day, her herb tea relaxed me. I had a cold,
and I felt a little sick at work, and she was kind enough
to take me to a doctor. After I came back with her, she
made a cup of tea for me. I still felt sick, but her tea
made me happy.
MR. DONE IT ALL by Chris Page

I had the opportunity to work with a special breed of
man. This type of person has done everything, but what
made him special was that he had done it better than
anyone else had. This particular person is known by
many as SAM (S.A.M is his initials). I remember talking
one day about hunting, and how I had once killed two
deer within a couple of hours. SAM replied that he had
once killed two deer with a single shot. When he had
shot, the bullet had entered the first deer just above the
shoulder, exiting through his chest. It exited the first
deer at the right angle and the right velocity to penetrate
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the skull of the second, which had been feeding with his
head down behind the first deer.
In another instance, a co-worker mentioned that he
had made a trip from California to Georgia in a 48-hour
time frame. SAM then had to mention that he had made
a similar trip in 36 hours. Going well over 100 miles per
hour, he managed to pass policemen that would always
give up chasing him after realizing he was not going to
stop. If you had run two miles along the ocean, SAM
had run faster, jumped higher, and swam across both
the Pacific and Atlantic. Sam was a unique individual;
he could make up a story in a split second that would
explain in detail what he had done and how he managed
to do it better than anyone else.
THE OPTIMIST by Thomas Dockery

The optimist is a positive-thinking individual. Optimists
seek to find the brighter side of most situations. A
person who is an optimist does not allow thoughts of
negative outcomes to dictate the decisions they make.
Being an optimist requires the ability, even when
confronted with a troubling circumstance, to see the
better side of life and build on the brighter aspects of
any situation.
I view myself as an optimist and always have been one.
Early in my childhood, I experienced the divorce of my
parents with the breakup of their marriage. It was
extremely difficult to deal with at first, especially
knowing that my father would not be around as much
as usual, that I would have to help out with my younger
siblings, and that I would have to be a good role model
for them. It would have been easy for me to become a
pessimist and stray for the worst. I could have even
used the divorce – which happened when I was eight
years old – as an excuse to not succeed in life: screwing
up in school, hanging with the wrong group of friends,
or engaging in substance abuse. These are examples of
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how young teens have found themselves moving in the
wrong direction. However, the situation actually made
me a stronger person and helped me become the person
I am today. I channeled that negative energy into
positive energy and dispersed it throughout my life.
During the past year, I was faced with the challenge of
having to cope with a busy work and school schedule.
Balancing these two important factors could have
proven stressful and may have resulted in giving up. On
several occasions, I had twenty-page papers due for my
classes in addition to having to work twelve-hour and
sometimes overnight shifts. My friends could not
comprehend how I managed everything without letting
the stress finally get to me.
However, my motto is to successfully accomplish what I
need to do – to clear my mind of any negative thoughts
that could potentially inhibit me and use any spare time
wisely. I have a will and desire to never become
complacent and always strive for more. This is
something that cannot be inherited, cannot be imitated,
and cannot be taught, but only realized internally. Will
and desire – something that you’re not born with – has
to come from within. Being the optimist that I am, I
always respond by insisting, even though my
circumstances may seem difficult and require some
sacrifices, that the end goal is of utmost importance.
MY HAIR HURTS by James White

Some people think of any ailment to get out of doing
work. You all know the people I’m talking about. They
always have some sort of affliction that keeps them from
the jobsite. They claim all kinds of things: my knee
hurts, my ankle hurts, and my hair hurts. They usually
expend more energy to get out of work than they would
if they just did the job. Most of the time, it starts with
little hints such as my knee has really been bothering
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me, or this morning it hurt to comb my hair. The set-up
is all part of the plan with these guys.
When I think about these hypochondriacs, one person
comes to mind. We’ll call him Charlie. Charlie was an
expert at finding new illnesses and ailments to get out of
work. He was always extra careful not to use the same
excuse more than once. He had the whole thing down to
a science. Anytime there was some kind of hard and
strenuous task, we would expect some of the usual
precursors. When work would get a little hard, he would
be on his way to the medial clinic. I don’t think old
Charlie ever finished anything he started.
Charlie even broadened his excuses to his family. I
think his son was the sickest kid on the planet. He
would always say that he had an appointment to take
his son to the doctor. It was always the usual childhood
illnesses: fever, that flu, yellow fever. It was the same
with his wife. The only difference was she was usually
having surgery. Her body must be covered with surgical
scars. I felt sympathy for his wife when people asked
how she was doing, and she had no idea what they were
talking about. Maybe, she didn’t know he was off every
day by noon.
Surely, Charlie was a medical marvel. How could any
one person have so much wrong with him and still be
breathing? Even though he was lazy and complained
immensely about his health, he was still a very likeable
guy. He was always willing to help out a friend or loan
someone a few dollars. I guess that’s why he got away
with it for so long. No one really minded that much.
Everyone has their faults; his was his fear and dislike of
work. He certainly exhausted every available excuse to
escape going to work and staying there until the end of
the day.
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THE GOSSIP by Yoko Kitagawa
The gossip is the person who enjoys talking about other
people’s private lives, actions, and their personalities –
all the time. This person may gossip about many others
– not knowing that she too is gossiped about by others.
April Smith, one of my friends and one of my co-
workers, is the queen of the gossips. She has been
working at the same place for more than 10 years; she
knows more about anything than any workers there;
she gossips about other workers whom she has decided
are unnecessary for the store – her store.
For example, Mr. New-Co-Worker is having a hard time
memorizing the locations for the different merchandise,
so it takes him a long time to stock the shelves.
Everyone thinks that he can be a little quicker, but that
is all we say about him; however, April’s mouth does not
stop there. First, she tells other workers that he is
extremely slow; second, she tells them that he must be
stupid or even retarded; third, she tells them how poor
he has been doing things; finally, she tells us about all
his failures past and present for which there is no
evidence. And finally, she talks about him over and over
again until the victim feels that he is in a terrible fix;
here, she gains a victory.
Although she thinks that she is doing the right thing,
others gossip that she is so spiteful and so thoughtless.
Maybe, sometime in the future, there will be someone
who will pay her back, the same way she has done to
the others – hopefully.
Everyone knows that gossiping is never good, yet many
people, it seems, have to gossip as a stress release. A
little bit may be okay; however, too much spreads
sorrow and unhappiness and may occasion revenge
when least anticipated.
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PERSONAL ESSAY COMPOSITION
Composition Instructions
Write an essay in which you summarize and analyze the
history of your life so far, and then evaluate the possible
implications and relevance of your past experience for
your present and future. Formulate some kind of thesis
statement about the bearing of your past on your
present and future to guide your essay.
In the essay write a paragraph or more, giving an
account of your life using narration as the pattern of
development; write a paragraph or more about your
interests and goals in life, using classification and
illustration as patterns of development; and finally write
a paragraph or more in which you analyze and evaluate
your whole past with respect to its influence and
relevance for your present and future.
Develop your paragraphs with the appropriate unity,
coherence, cohesion, and emphasis. Think before and
after you write, and revise your sentences to express
your thoughts in language as clear and concise as
possible.
The above instructions are to guide and assist you in
providing content, direction, and organization to your
essay, but you are not required to strictly follow the
instructions. Feel free to find your own content, form,
and organization for the essay. Though we prefer that
you write about your actual life, if you are
uncomfortable doing so for some reason, we can’t
require you to do it. In that case, you are free to invent a
fictional autobiography of your own life or a fictional
biography of an imaginary person’s life.
For the assignment above, students were not required to
notate or footnote specified sentence forms. They were
allowed to write freely.
Below are some of the student essays in response to the
assignment. Though they were not required to use
sentence forms, you will notice that students did
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frequently employ them. You may wish to engage your
own students in formspotting – having them identify a
representative sample of the various sentence forms by
notating and footnoting them, either in groups working
together or individually.
MY LIFE: A WORK IN PROGRESS by Melinda

Robertson
The story of my life is pathetically boring. It’s so boring

that total strangers have been known to lapse into
unconsciousness and begin snoring whenever I try to talk
about it. I will tell you the story of my thirty-three years of
existence on this planet, but I must warn you – read it
someplace where you don’t mind falling asleep.
According to my mother, she was in labor and in searing,
gut-wrenching, life-ending pain for a least a month before I
was finally born. If she is to be believed, I had the biggest
head, the broadest shoulders, the fattest tummy, the
longest legs of any baby ever born, and I weighed a good
twenty pounds if I was an ounce. If I had been a fish, they
would’ve had me stuffed, mounted, and hung on a wall
someplace. I am also single handedly responsible for the
stretch marks and the ‘baby fat’ roll that adorn her stomach
to this day. Or at least this is what she tells me every time
she gets mad at me.
The truth of the matter is far less interesting. I was born
at Saint Francis Xavier Hospital in downtown Charleston,
South Carolina on the August 23, 1969 at 9:52a.m. This,
according to my father, was less than twenty-four hours
after my mother went into labor. My birth announcement
lists my weight as having been eight pounds, eleven and
one-half ounces, and my overall length as twenty and one-
half inches. (A far cry from my mother’s recollection of the
event.)
The only part of the story that my parents agree on is my
extended family’s odd reaction to my arrival. ‘Back in the
177
old day’ there were no ultrasound machines or widely used
tests that could accurately predict what sex I would be
when I was born. Since the first five children of my
generation had been born male, everyone assumed that I
would also be male. But, of course, I fooled them all.
When my father called to inform them of my birth, my
Aunt Catherine (then a teenager) answered the phone with a
tired “It’s a boy, isn’t it?” When my father (a notorious
practical joker) said “Nope, it’s a girl,” she called him a liar.
The conversation went back and forth like that for a good
five minutes before she began to believe him. Once he
convinced her that I really was a girl, she screamed
excitedly, hung up on my father, and shared the news with
my grandparents. The streak was over: after five boys,
grandbaby number six had turned out to be a girl. My
grandmother went into overdrive and called every living
relative, every member of her church group, every friend,
every neighbor, and every acquaintance that she could
think of, and excitedly told them that she finally had a
granddaughter. With grandma manning the phone lines,
word traveled fast. My grandfather was reportedly so
excited, that he went out and mowed the lawn in
preparation for my arrival home from the hospital. (If you
knew him, you’d understand what a feat that was.)
When I came home, I was greeted by hordes of hillbilly
relatives who were happily celebrating my arrival, but who
were still a little perplexed by my having been born female.
A few of the more intrepid ones actually took off my diaper
and checked to make sure that my parents were not playing
a joke on them. Even my uncle Clyde, who had fathered
four boys, demanded to know what my father had done
differently so that he could try doing it the next time. As it
turned out, I would be the last child – the baby – for the
next fourteen years, until my aunt Catherine gave birth.
(She had two boys.)
Once the novelty wore off, I was permitted to get on with
the serious business of growing up. My immediate family
included my father, who was a police officer; my mother,
who was a grocery store cashier; and my only sibling, a
brother, who was three years older. In the deep American
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South, my family was not unusual. We weren’t rich by any
means, but we always had food on the table, clothes on our
backs, toys to play with, and of course, tons of family
around.
My entire extended family attended the same church, so
that even though we lived many miles apart, we saw each
other every Sunday, All of the cousins would sit together in
a pew (as far away from the adults as we could get away
with) and misbehave until one of us, or all of us, ended up
getting a spanking. After church, the whole family would
congregate at my grandparents’ house for dinner. The
women would stay in the kitchen laughing, joking, and
sometimes singing while they cooked together; the men
would stay in the living room, watching TV, and talking
about their jobs, until dinner was served. The kids usually
played outside, terrorizing the neighborhood, until we were
called in to eat. I always loved when Sunday rolled around,
because then there was laughter and hugs and kisses, but
most of all, because my parents wouldn’t dare fight in front
of the rest of the family. And they fought constantly, so
Sunday was truly a day of rest for me.
My parents were Bible thumping, hillbilly holy rollers
who were becoming increasingly disenchanted with one
another. Having both been raised in the ‘duty and honor
bound’ Bible Belt, divorce was considered to be a sin, and
something that is only done as a last resort. So they fought,
screaming and yelling constantly, hurling insults and
innuendoes, for several years. They separated many times,
only to get back together a few weeks or months later. After
ten years, when they were sure that they hated each other
completely, they finally filed for divorce. And of course, just
when I thought the worst was over, a very nasty custody
battle began. The custody battle would continue in the
courts until my brother and I were teenagers. My mother
would eventually be found guilty of physical and emotional
child abuse, and lose custody of my brother and I for a few
years. (Unfortunately, the damage had already been done,
and the therapy only marginally worked.)
My parents were so consumed with hating and hurting
each other that they did not realize that they were ripping
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out the hearts of their children. It’s hard to verbalize the
torture that my brother and I went through, being stuck in
the middle, and torn between them. It’s not that they did
not love us, because they did. Their love was just a little bit
warped and defective at times.
It wasn’t all bad; there were good times too. Like the time
that my father freaked out when I had my first date. He had
been alternating between pacing the floor like a nervous
Nellie, and eating ice-cream washed down with Malox for a
week prior to the date. I was in my bedroom with my
stepmother, who had helped me get ready, when my date
finally arrived. I was a little worried about what my father
was going to do to him, so I made sure that I came out as
soon as I knew that he was there. When I entered the living
room, my father – an imposing 6’1” tall, big framed man,
with an angry expression on his face – was the first thing I
saw. He was sitting in his recliner, surrounded by guns,
knives, and whatever other weapons that he had taken from
people (he was a cop) over the years that somehow had not
made it to an evidence locker. He was also cleaning an
ominous looking double barrel shotgun. My poor date was
just standing there sweating bullets. My father looked at
him intently, put the shotgun barrel on the bridge of my
boyfriend’s nose, and said in true southern ease “Boy, does
down the barrel of this thing look clean to you?” To which
he replied nervously, “Yes sir, Mr. Smith.” My father then
said “Good, ‘cause if you bring my daughter home late or
with so much as a scratch on her, down the barrel of this
thing is gonna be the last thing you ever see.” (He brought
me home early.)
I was still living with my father when I met my husband,
Jim. I was only seventeen when we met, and Jim was
twenty-six. He was a Mormon, in the Navy, divorced, and
already a father to one child – which in my father’s eyes,
made him the Anti-Christ. By the time that we began dating
seriously, I had reached the legal age of consent (18), which
meant that my father could not stop me from dating him.
(He also couldn’t arrest him or shoot him.) We got engaged
after three weeks, and then he went out to sea for six
months.
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When he came home we moved in together, and much to
my family’s horror, ‘lived in sin’ for several months prior to
getting married. Jim decided to make an honest woman out
of me on his twenty-seventh birthday, so we eloped at the
county courthouse. (Much to the relief of my family!)
We’ve had a good marriage so far. It hasn’t all been good,
but it hasn’t all been bad either. There have been times of
great mourning (Jim’s son was killed in a car accident a few
years after we were married – he was eleven years old)
which we have managed to survive, and there have been
joyous times, which we cherished. We’ve cried together,
laughed together, and fought together for fifteen years. I
don’t think that there is anyone else that could put up with
me for that long, and still profess to love me. That makes
me one of the luckiest people in the world.
I survived my parents’ divorce, the vicious custody battle,
a few years of physical abuse, and several years of
emotional abuse, to finally find some happiness. I still have
hang-ups – the responsibility and sacrifice of being a parent
frightens me; if I get it wrong and the kid turns out bad, it
will be my fault. Occasionally, I have a minor spell of
depression (nothing major) and some self-esteem issues, but
it’s nothing that wasn’t anticipated. Overall, I’m okay. I’ve
learned a lot from the lessons in my life, and the biggest one
is not to make the same stupid mistakes that my parents
did. (Learning by bad example – what a concept!)
I call my life a ‘work in progress’ because I’m not perfect
yet. I don’t think anybody is, nor should they be. That
would take the fun out of this mystery called life. I was
reading a book on Psychology the other day, and there was
a word that they used to describe people like me; it was
‘resilient.’ It was used to describe people who have faced
hardships in their early life, but still managed to make a
decent go of it. Will wonders never cease, there’s a word for
me, and best of all – it’s not a curse word.
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FINDING MY NICHE BY DESTINY S. LARBERG
One significant day twelve years ago stands out vividly in

my mind. On that profound day, my life changed forever in
many ways. Just when I thought my life was finally cruising
down a safe road, someone put a fork in it, leading me into
unknown territory.
At the time, I was ten years old. Each week my Social
Worker, Anna Pallid, came to my foster home and took me
on a different outing, just the two of us. This particular
week Anna took me to a restaurant named “Marie
Calendar’s” for dinner. Our time together was fashioned as
my time to talk about my feelings, having her undivided
attention.
We chose a dimly lit booth in a quiet corner of the
restaurant. Having only a pair of shorts and a summer tank
top on, I felt chilled by the frigid vinyl seat. I studied the
menu, being able to have anything I wanted for dinner.
Looking back and forth from the chicken section to that of
the pasta and seafood dishes, I could not decide on a
particular entrée. So, I waited for Anna to order and picked
what she had, Fettucini Alfredo.
Our conversations varied widely on each of our outings.
Sometimes we talked about school, my foster siblings, or
something I did that week. Occasionally we would get into
deep conversations, dredging up feelings of the past and
feelings about my birth brother and sister. I rarely was able
to see my brother, Johnny, and my sister, Sandra, as we
had been split up four years earlier by the Child Protective
Services. Now I had two foster sisters, Katie and Angela.
My foster Parents, Judy and Danny Duncan, took me in
when I was eight years old. Many foster children had come
and gone, now leaving a comfortable family of five. The three
of us foster sisters would soon be adopted. I told Anna
about how we were all going to move into Grandma’s four
bedroom house and how excited I was because I might be
able to have my own room with an easel by the window at
which to paint.
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Upon finishing dinner that certain evening, Anna
informed me that I could have any piece of pie I wanted.
Marie Calendar’s is famous for their wide variety of
homemade pies. Of course, I chose my favorite, pecan pie.
Dessert was served, and I dug in savoring the mix of
creamy caramel and toasted pecans. Our conversation
steered towards Mr. and Mrs. Duncan. Anna explained to
me that the Duncan’s feelings on the “big step” of adopting
the three of us girls had changed. None of us knew that Mr.
and Mrs. Duncan were only going to pick two out of the
three of us. As Anna told me this, I wasn’t worried about not
being picked. Of course, they would choose Katie and me,
since Angela was the slightly retarded one, I imagined.
Anna went on to say, “Mr. and Mrs. Duncan are
concerned that you may need more individual attention.”
She explained to me that the Duncans had noticed I had a
lot of problems getting along with Katie and Angela.
Through careful consideration, the Duncan’s decided it
would be not be in my best interest for them to adopt me.
Upon hearing this news from Anna, I dropped my fork,
completely relinquishing my appetite. I could not even chew
what remained in my mouth, spitting it onto the plate and
pushing it away. Oncoming tears completely blurred my
vision. As the room began to spin, I fell against the wall,
balling up into the corner. Feeling completely empty and
drastically hurt inside, the only comfortable thought was
how much better it would be if I were dead, not being able
to feel anything. A few minutes ago I felt like a flower in a
beautiful garden, flourishing together as one. Now I was just
a troublesome weed, being plucked from a garden bed and
discarded.
“No one will ever love me,” I thought. The words “Nobody
wants me… I don’t belong anywhere…” spilled from my
mouth between sobs. Being with the Duncans longer than
any of my other foster homes, I had begun to consider them
as my family. Now they didn’t want me anymore. I began to
think that maybe I was such a bad seed that I would never
have a real family. Would I always be alone in this glacial
world? Why couldn’t I just die?
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Anna placed her arms around me, trying to offer me
some comfort. I felt safe between her arms knowing she
couldn’t abandon me too. Sniveling, I asked if I could go
home with her, knowing I never could.
“Where will I go now? Will I never see my friends again?
Will I have to change schools?” So many questions that
could not yet be answered.
“I do have some good news, though,” Anna proclaimed,
her eyes displaying sympathy. She said that she found a
wonderful home for me with a single woman whom, for the
past five years, had been praying and preparing to adopt a
child just like me.
I realize today just how lucky I was to find someone who
wanted to adopt a ten-year-old child. Most children by that
age are considered “unadoptable” by Social Services, usually
living their entire childhood bouncing around from one
foster home to another.
Anna went on to tell me that I would be meeting with my
new adoptive mom the next day and leaving the Duncans in
one short week. Anna thought this would be a good home
for me; I would be an only child and would get all the
attention I needed.
“Before you meet her tomorrow, I have something to
show you,” Anna said, handing me a picture portfolio. “This
is from the woman, Diane Smilari. She made this book to
show you what your new family will be like.”
Reluctantly taking the book, I opened it up and studied
the pages. Each page had a few pictures, each with
captions. First, I saw a picture of a little brown bedroom,
decorated safari style, to be all my own. It looked inviting,
with little pillows and stuffed animals on the bed. I could
even make out a stack of Zoobooks (my favorite magazine at
the time) sitting on the nightstand.
Next, I saw pictures of a family soon to be mine. The
pictures were filled with so much love and fun. I could tell
Diane had a big family and that they were a really close knit
family as well. Everyone was smiling and laughing. One
man, who would soon become my Uncle Johnny, had a
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goofy expression on his face. He was playing with some kids
that would soon be my cousins. I yearned to be a part of
that picture. Could I be a missing piece in their puzzle?
An elderly couple sat in the center of one of the family
pictures. They must be special, I thought, to have created
such a fun, loving, and generous family. I wanted to meet
them, be embraced by them, and belong to their family. In
even more pictures, I learned that Diane liked to travel.
Pictures of her at the airport in Newark, New Jersey and in
the snow in Kalispell, Montana made me feel like I belonged
right by her side.
I found myself filled with so many emotions. I was
scared, angry, hurt, lonely, yet excited and loved, all at the
same time. I would soon be leaving all that I knew and
entering a life that was strange and foreign. Would this
family love and accept me? Would Diane turn out to be the
“Mommy” I’ve been longing for? As I struggled to be strong, I
kept telling myself that I had changed families before, and I
would have the courage to do it again. I hoped this family
would not reject me like the others. Maybe this would be the
family I had been waiting for.
Turning to the last page in the book, I saw something
that took all of my worries and fears away. A miniature
mirror was glued to that page. Beneath it, in brightly
colored letter, the caption read “All that is missing is you.”
ALMOST 20 YEARS OLD BY Y OKO K ITIGAWA
I will turn 20 years old in a couple months; I’m going to

be an adult officially in Japan. Before I will be out of my
teens, I’m going to look back over the 19 years of my life,
and get myself ready for adulthood.
On the very hot summer day, July 19, I started to
breathe air; my life had begun. Wishing that I would have a
big heart like an ocean, my parents named me Yoko, the
ocean’s child. I was the only child then, and according to my
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mother, she took care of me like a princess; she took
uncountable numbers of pictures of me; she spent all her
money on me, and she was always with me.
This I-am-the-special-one life did not last for very long.
One after another, my little brothers and a sister were born.
I had been a big sister for a while, but when my two
youngest brothers were born, at the age of 9, I became a
little mommy. Because both of my parents were working all
the time, I had no time to play with my friends after school
or Sundays; I had to take care of my “kids”.
I did not like being a “mother” at all back then; however,
I now think that it was a great experience and gave me good
lessons to be a mother in the future.
While I was being a little mommy, I had to be a smart,
intelligent sister, the one who is a great model for her fellow
siblings. My mother knew and believed that I was a little bit
smarter than the other children because I really was, and
also it was proven by the intelligence test that I took when I
was three years old. (In fact, I could read easy storybooks
when I was three years old!) She taught me various things
when I was little, and she sent me to supplementary, yet
advanced private schools during my elementary school
years. I sometime felt too much pressure on me, but I never
gave up; in fact, I loved studying and enjoyed being No.1 in
class. I am still that way, and, intellectually, I am the best of
the five children.
This does not mean that the rest of my brothers and my
sister are stupid; they all have something at which they are
good. Masahiro, 18 years old, is a great soccer player; he
always has been captain of the teams he has joined; he was
on the varsity of the Sasebo soccer team. Haruka, 15 years
old, is a great ballet dancer, and also she is good at cooking
and cleaning (I think she is and will be a better “mother”
than I am.) Takahisa, 11 years old, is also a good soccer
player; he is one of the best players in his team. The
youngest, 10-year-old Akiharu, is basically good at
everything except for studying: drawing, dancing, playing –
all the creative things are what he is good at.
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Not surprisingly, we did not become this way
automatically. Our great abilities are the outcomes of our
mother’s effort. I really thank my mother for whatever she
has done for us. My mother is the best; she is my best and
closest friend, and she is the woman whom I look up to the
most. She works all day and all the time, making our living
by her great skill as a beautician – by herself. She works to
raise us. She works because she wants us to receive a good
education and acquire skills. She always says, “Anyone can
steal your money and your tangible possessions, but no one
can steal your skill that you have earned.” This is why we
are good at something, at least one thing. And I believe that
she is right.
On my 17th birthday, my mother gave me the most
wonderful birthday present – a life in the U.S as an
exchange student and with it the acquisition of a language
skill. I could not believe that I could actually go and study
aboard. This was the present for all of my future birthdays,
and this was the best present of my life.
I left for the U.S full of excitement and a little bit of
nervousness in my heart; my life away from home had
begun. Two years of life in America was not at all easy: I
struggled with the English language, I had a hard time
making friends, and I missed my family. However, my host
family was so great and so nice: they helped me learn the
new language, took me everywhere they went to meet new
friends, and loved and took care of me like a real family
member. I also tried so hard to get better; I studied all day, I
tried to talk to students at school, and I tried to be attentive
to the family as much as possible. With their support and
my own effort, my English improved gradually. I made so
many friends, and the family gave me so much love. Within
this short time, I learned many things, and I grew up
considerably as a person, as a human being, and as an
adult-to-be.
Now I am back in Japan. With the English ability I
acquired in the U.S., I got a job on the U.S. navy base as the
mini-mart lady. This is maybe the only job that an English-
speaking 20-year-old Japanese girl could get. I don’t like it
at all (I feel stupid), but I have to work because I need
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money to get more education to work for the organization
that works for world peace and happiness, the United
Nations. I want to work for people – especially children –
who are suffering from poverty. Poverty is one of the most
serious problems around the world: there are millions of
babies who cannot survive a month; there are millions of
children who have to work to make their living instead of
getting an education. I want to make a difference even if it is
a little bit.
Through 19 years and 10 months, I have experienced
and learned so many things that I cannot even express
them all. Every single thing has educated me and helped me
grow; every person who I have met taught me something.
With all things that I have in my tiny body, I’m going to take
a big step into adulthood. And I will learn even more and get
closer and closer to my goal – little by little.
BETTY’S BIOGRAPHY BY BETTY WARREN
I cannot count the number of times I have sat down and

tried to write this biography and never finish. I know that
that is because I have no desire to tell my life story. My life
is very good now, and I am happy, but that has not always
been the case. Regardless, I must do this, so let’s begin.
I was born on March 23, 1969, in a small town in
Kansas. My mother was 17, and in love with her high school
sweetheart. My father was 19, and at the time of my birth
was away at college. None of my grandparents were happy
with this situation. In fact, my father’s parents refused to
accept both myself and my mother.
When I was 3 months old, my mother was sent away to
an aunt’s house, and told she needed to get her life in order.
She was gone for five months. During this time, my father
was forbidden to see me as well. What neither of them knew
at the time was that their parents had planned this. They
had planned for them to both be away at the same time. The
day after my mother left, my maternal grandparents filed for
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adoption on the grounds of abandonment. But I never knew
any of this until much later.
I remember growing up in a small town in southern
Wyoming, and being a very happy little girl. I had known
since I was very young that I had been adopted, but that
was insignificant at the time.
My mom worked in a department store, and my dad was
a truck driver. I used to go with him in his truck in the
summer, and on school vacations. I was a spoiled kid and a
daddy’s girl. On Sundays I used to go with him fishing,
hunting, or whatever he wanted to do on his only day off. I
didn’t care what we did, as long as I got to tag along. The
funny thing is, I don’t really remember my mom being
around much. But like I’ve said before, I was happy, so this
too seemed unimportant.
That all changed on a cold, snowy April morning in 1979.
My dad left to go to work, just like every other morning, but
he never made it out of the driveway. My dad died that
morning of a massive coronary. I was the one that found
him, and I was home alone.
I cannot begin to describe to you what it feels like to be
10 years old and dealing with that kind of grief alone. I was
scared to talk to anyone, because I felt guilty. I felt like I
should have done something to save his life. I used to play
that over and over in my mind. What if I had gone outside
earlier? What if I had run inside and called someone instead
of standing out in the snow screaming? I gradually
convinced myself that his dying was my fault. And nobody
told me differently. So I kept to myself, and suffered in
silence.
In the weeks following his death, I often looked through
boxes of old pictures. Seeing the pictures of my dad kept
him alive in my mind. I was scared that if I didn’t do this, I
would forget what he looked like. And then it happened
again. The bottom fell out of my world for the second time in
as many months. In the bottom of one of the boxes, among
the old photos, were two hospital wrist bands. One for a
baby, and one for an adult. I read the names over and over,
trying to make sense of what I was reading. And then it hit
189
me: the woman I had always known as my sister was
actually my mother. And so this too, I kept to myself.
My teenage years were pure hell. I was a bitter, resentful
human being by the time I was 12, and it got worse every
year. My mom could not understand for the life of her why I
had such serious emotional problems. She couldn’t
understand how a young girl who had every material
possession she could every need or want could be so angry.
Her solution to every problem was to buy something to “fix”
me. But she would never have a conversation with me. She
would never answer my questions. Still to this very day,
when I bring things up, she screams at me and tells me to
“forget it.” It was long ago, and she cannot understand why
I insist on “dragging the past around like a dog with an old
bone.” And so my questions will never be answered.
I finally decided that I would cause her as much pain as
she had caused me. Her one source of pride in me was that
I was a great in school. I was a straight A student, and was
on the honor roll all through middle school, and the first
semester of my freshman year of high school. In our home
town, this was always in the newspaper, and she would just
beam with pride at my accomplishments. So I quit school in
the middle of my freshman year. I simply refused to go
back. This is not something I am proud of by any means,
but at the time it served its purpose.
I continued on a destructive path for a few years after
that, but realized that at some point I stopped causing her
pain, and was truly damaging myself. That was not my
plan. So I did what I needed to do, and got back on the right
track. At least as much as I could at that time. My
education had been wasted, so I got a job doing
construction work. I was a welder’s helper, and built
natural gas satellites for Amoco. It wasn’t my dream job, but
the pay was great, and I did have a son I needed to support.
Public assistance was out of the question as far as I was
concerned. I got myself into that mess, and would pay to get
myself out of it. And so I did.
And then one day my life changed forever. I met the man
I would one day marry. I didn’t believe in love at first sight,
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and still don’t, but I believe that was the case with us. I
couldn’t explain it if I tried, but I just knew from the
moment that we met that this was meant to be. Could it be
fate? I don’t know, but I know that I have been happier in
the last 18 years than I could ever have imagined possible.
It took a long time for me to work through all of my
feelings, and let go of all of my anger and pain, but with his
help, I have done just that. I have even made peace with my
family, which is the one thing I had thought I would never
be able to do. His constant love and encouragement has
shown me that I can be more, be a better person, and
forgive. He is the reason I am in this class, the reason I am
writing this story. And I want to do this. I want to succeed,
for even though my husband and son are so proud of me, I
would like to think that my dad is looking down on me, and
I want to make him proud too.
MY LIFE WITH MOTHER BY MICHAEL CARTER
Presently, I am a miserable soldier in the United States

Army. I am over three thousand miles away from my wife.
My family disowned me before I came here. I am constantly
butting heads with my supervisors. I have no friends. I also
seem to have lost my faith in religion to top it all off. How
did I get to be like this? Would I have chosen to be in the
Army if I knew that it would be like this? I think I ended up
here mostly because of my mother, but I will tell you the
story of my life so that you can decide for yourself.
I started out my life in Mobile, Alabama. I was born in
the Mobile Infirmary – the cheapest and nastiest hospital in
Mobile. I was an unplanned birth. When my mother tried to
get help from my biological father, he threatened to have me
taken away from her. My existence was a problem for him.
He was married and having an affair with my mother. In
case you have not figured it out, my mother was not what
you would call a good person. She was what you would call
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a loose person. In fact, it took me years to find out which
guy it was that was my biological father.
Growing up without a father was difficult, but not as bad
as growing up with my mother. I have gathered from my
family, that during my first few years of life I was never with
my mother. She was always pawning me off on different
people and disappearing for months at a time. When I was
with her, we lived in garbage holes barely fit for the
habitation of roaches and rats, which were in abundance. It
was so bad that I grew up with a pet roach instead of a dog.
She always had a guy over, but I never saw the same guy
twice.
The only good memories I have from my early years are
about my Grandparents. They seem to be the ones who
always ended up with me the most. My Grandma still calls
me son when she talks to me, because she practically raised
me. I also had a second mother. I call her that because she
was like a mother to me. She was my grandmother’s best
friend. When I lived with my mother, my second mother
always looked after us and took care of me. I never stayed in
the same school more than a year. I never bothered making
friends, because I would lose them in a month or two.
When I was eight years old, my mother did marry
someone. He seemed nice – the first day. It turned out that
he was a very bad person. My mother stayed married to him
for a week. He was a constant drunkard and beat my
mother. My mother married him because he was a good
drinking partner. I hated him from the start.
When I was twelve years old, things did take a turn for
the better. My mother started dating a decent person. When
she became pregnant with my sister, he did the right thing
and married her. He did not love her, but he did take care of
us. He took us to live in Mississippi. His home was a fishing
camp overlooking the Pascagoula River. It was a one-
bedroom shack on poles, but it was like a palace to me. It
was the cleanest place I had ever lived in. He actually
adopted me and made me his son. He was a good father to
me. I still call him dad. He sent me to a good school. The
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only good thing my mother ever did was stay with him. He
treated her right. He provided stability in my life.
Unfortunately, by this time I had trouble making friends.
I spent most of my time playing by myself and exploring the
river. I eventually made a few friends. After my second sister
was born, my father bought a huge house on twenty acres
of land. I thought the fish camp was a palace; this place was
unbelievable. I lived in the house until I moved away. My
mother liked the house so much that eventually it became
her world. She rarely let me go to anyone else’s house, but
they could come to our house. She was obsessed with
keeping me home and making me work in her yard. She
turned into a real slave driver. My friends would not come
over because they were scared that they would be forced
into the slave camp.
The one friend brave enough to come over to my house
eventually led me to Christianity. I talked to my father
about it, and he started taking us to church. We went to
church on Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and twice on Sunday.
Unfortunately, my mother had to ruin that, too. Since I
actually enjoyed going to church, she held it over my head
every time I did anything. She would not let me go to church
if I did anything she disapproved of, or did not work well
enough. It became another way of punishing me. Therefore,
I began to not want to go to church because I did not want
her using it against me.
When I was in my freshman year of High school, I met
the love of my life. She was a beautiful girl named Erin. Erin
was a junior in high school. Although we were friends at
first, we soon became boyfriend and girlfriend. My mother
hated my girlfriend. I guess that my mother was jealous
that Erin was getting so much of my attention. Therefore,
my mother started to say ugly things about Erin. She used
Erin as another form of punishment. If I did anything she
did not like, she would not let me talk or see Erin. Erin put
up with my mother, and stuck with me. This only made my
mother hate her more. Although my mother hated her, she
eventually realized that Erin was here to stay. My mother
then tried to make Erin part of her world. She wanted Erin
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at her house constantly. Mother even started telling her how
horrible Erin’s parents were.
After high school, I joined the Army to get away from my
mother. I also joined the Army so that I could marry my
sweet Erin. Joining the Army was the only way for Erin and
me to escape my mother. After being in the Army for three
months, I came home and married Erin. My mother tried to
prevent us. She tried to make our first days of marriage
miserable. She constantly tried to cause problems for us.
Therefore, finally we moved away to Fort Stewart. We lived
there for a year. It was the happiest time of my life. The only
damage mother could do was on the phone. We were
enjoying ourselves until the Army decided that I needed to
go to Korea.
That leaves me where I am today. The only good thing
about Korea is that it is over three thousand miles away
from my mother. In four months, I will be reuniting with my
wife. We will be able to continue living together in
happiness. My wife was the only cure for my childhood with
mother. My mother still tries to cause problems, but I have
my wife to help me deal with them.
MY LIFE – HOOD LIFE TO NAVY LIFE BY JOEL

JONES
I understand that you would like to know about my life.

Why? Why would you want to know about me? You’re never
going to get to know me. You may never even meet or see
me again. But, you are interested in knowing about my life;
oh well, I guess I will enlighten you a little, on some things
in my life.
Where would you like for me to start? I could start with
– I was born on March 17, 1975 in Chicago in Cook County
Hospital. Nah, that’s too common. Everybody probably
starts out with that. I’ll just skip all the early childhood
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stuff and give you the meat and potatoes of my life up to
this point.
I’m the oldest of 15 children – myself, 12 girls, and 2
boys. Yes, you can say that my momma must have been a
busy lady. That is a lot of kids. If you think about it, you
can make a football team, basketball team, hockey team,
and a military squad formation. Wow, that’s a big family!
Before you go too far reading, allow me to share some
information with you: two of my sisters are on my father’s
side, while the rest are all by my mother. Yeah, I have a big
family; I wouldn’t trade it for the world. Twelve women that
adore you and two brothers that look up to you; I thank
God for them all.
With that many siblings, you know what comes next –
nephews and nieces. Man, I have a couple of baskets full of
each. It seems that after every deployment, there is another
addition to the family. Good Lord – I just can’t keep up any
more! The last time I checked, I had nine nephews and
nieces. Now I think there are about eleven. But I’m really
not sure. I guess that’s just what southern folk do – have
children – lots of them! I love all my nephews and nieces
with all my heart. When I come home after a long absence,
they always run to me and jump on me and tell me how
much they miss me. The young ones ask me for a dollar; the
older ones ask for five dollars. They seem to have gotten too
old to be asking for a single dollar. With $300 for a plane
ticket home, $150 for a car rental, $2.75 for unleaded fuel
to put in the car, the feeling I get when my nephews and
nieces stampede me when I arrive home is that I will soon
be penniless.
I’m definitely a family man. I guess you can see why: I’m
from a big family, so I want a big family. So, I guess I should
get that family started some day. I’m still young; I’ve got
plenty of time – I hope. I don’t know when the time will be
right for me to start this family, but it shouldn’t be too long.
I’ll find myself a nice young girl between the ages of 20 and
26 years old. Yeah – that should buy me enough time to get
the right-sized family that I need. With the Lord’s blessing,
I’ll get just what I ask for; I’ll have 6 to 8 healthy children. I
love the sound of that.
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Now that you know a bit of my family history, I’ll share
some of my personal history. Being the oldest child of my
mom’s 13 kids was one hell of a challenge in itself, not to
mention having to grow up fast in order to help my mom
provide for her children. My young life was filled with
changing diapers and bottles, feeding and clothing, rocking
my siblings to sleep and getting burped on – yuck. I disliked
that so much; with clean clothes on, what does the baby do
after you burp them – vomit all over you. Oh well, go
change. Next time, wear a towel over your shoulder. That’s
what my mom would say.
I used to stay up late nights with my sisters. I tell you,
between boys and girls, girls are the most difficult to put to
sleep. I did this with six of my sisters. Year after year I had
to do this; night after night I had to put my sisters to sleep.
It got to the point where some of them couldn’t go to sleep
unless the lights were on. Even till this day, when they visit
me, I still have to leave the lights on in order for them to go
to sleep. I smile to myself every time I think about it. Doing
all of that care taking for my siblings really helped my mom;
she really appreciated it. She told me that often, the older I
got.
Regarding my younger brother Greg, he is next in line to
me, and about a year and a half younger than I. Growing up
for us was tough. Not only were we the oldest boys, but I
was responsible for everything he did. If he broke
something, I got blamed; if his clothes were not ironed, I got
blamed for it; if his hair was not combed properly, I got
blamed for it. Can you see where I’m going with this? He
was that I’ll-get-you-in-trouble magnet. But till this day, I
love him to death. He is my best friend. I trust no other like
I trust him.
Growing up in Chicago was very rough for me. I saw too
much crazy stuff as a kid. The things I witnessed, no kid
should have been allowed to be around. I witnessed
murders and shootings at the age of nine. I saw people
shoot up heroin and snort cocaine before I was even twelve
years old. My mom was doing all she could to keep us out of
the environment. At the age of nine, there were four or five
of us; my mom kept us all in one room with two beds. She
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made it a point to keep us upstairs, away from what her
cousins were doing.
I liked Chicago. I enjoyed seeing the crazy things that
were going on outside in the hood. Every day you would see
pimps in their rides; they were listening to Isley Brothers,
James Brown, or Earth, Wind, and Fire. I always thought
they were cool. These were some fast-taking, smooth
talking, dressed down playas. I used to say to myself when I
grow up I want to have a ride just like that. The gangsters
hung out at my Aunt’s house quite a bit. It was obvious
why. My uncles and cousins were Black Gangster Disciples
(BGD) A.K.A. Folks. They were members of the biggest gang
on the south side of Chicago. They were tough and hard-
core. I once witnessed them pistol-whip a guy so bad, he
passed out; I don’t remember him waking up. I didn’t stay
around for him to wake up; my uncle got back in the car,
and we drove away. He would always say to me: “Don’t tell
your momma what you saw today, boy. You hear me?” I
would respond “Yes, sir,” and he would give my brother and
me five dollars.
His name was Donald; everybody called him Boone. I
don’t know why; they just called him that. He was my
momma’s younger brother; he was the second of nine
children behind my momma. He was one of the biggest
heroine pushers on the Southside. Money – he had it; power
– he had it; respect – he got a lot of it. I looked up to him
because he made me laugh, and he always talked to me.
He would always tell me “You better take care of your
momma, my big sister, boy.” Then he would always tell me
that he would like to see my momma get us out of Chicago.
He felt we would have a better chance of growing up and
making something with our lives if we left the City and went
down south. A few weeks after that talk, my uncle got shot
twice; our house got shot up. I was scared; I thought we
were going to die. My uncle survived, but he was out for
revenge. The word got out that the girl he was with set him
up. My uncle and his soldiers retaliated. I wasn’t there for
the outcome of that one. Soon after the drive-by shooting on
our house, my mom was fed up, and she got us out of
Chicago. I never saw my uncle much after that. A year later
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I heard he was busted for drug trafficking and sentenced to
15 years in prison.
I had never traveled before, so the trip to our new home
in Arkansas was exciting for all of us. We took the train. I’ve
ridden the trains before, but only in the inner city. We
called the train the L. I still can’t remember what that
means. Oh well, we were now on a journey to a destination
that would be home for the rest of my childhood life. The
long journey on the train was such a sightseeing event for
my younger siblings and me. We saw cows and open fields
of nothing but grass. I will never forget that train ride.
Honestly, we slept the whole ride once we got settled down.
Hey, it was my first Amtrak Train ride, plus I was just a
child.
Upon arrival in Arkansas, my Aunt Martha met us at
the train station. She was a pretty woman, with light
skinned complexion, long hair, and a beautiful smile. She
made me feel so welcome. She had a nice southern drawl as
she spoke. I thought it sounded so different and funny; I
already loved that southern hospitality. She drove us to my
Big Momma’s house. That’s where we stayed until my mom
could find her own place. It was dark when we got there;
what was in store for me was just a sunrise away. The next
morning I woke up to the smell of food that I had never
smelled in my life. I immediately hunched over and spoke
softly. She said to me “Good morning, baby. You must be
the oldest boy.” Honestly, I think she already knew who I
was. She told me her name was Big Momma. My momma
used to tell me about her and that one day we were going to
go stay with Big Momma. Now, I was able to put a face with
the name. Oh yeah, that breakfast was the best breakfast I
ever had.
Now I grew up and was living in Arkansas. This was a
country state, with dirt roads and barefoot walking people.
Those days have definitely changed over the years. Before
long, I was a teenager, and it seems I carried some of my
Chicago city life with me to the Arkansas country.
You see, I was getting myself into a little trouble. My
mom thought it would be a good idea for me to go back to
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Chicago for the summer, and so did I ! I went back, where I
got myself initiated into the Black Gangster Disciples
(BGD’s). Thus, I became a young gangster. I thought it was
the coolest thing in the world. I felt tough. I had my boys
backing me on anything.
The initiation was very hard; I got jumped on. This was
the most difficult part of the initiation. This was the process
where six of the people who were already in the gang
jumped you. They fought you for sixty seconds, but it
seemed that it lasted an eternity. Needless to say, I made it
through. I had a few cuts, scrapes, and bruises. This part of
the initiation was to show your boys that you had heart and
could go the distance when it came down to fighting with
them. The harder you fought back, the tougher you looked.
They knew you were not a punk, coward, or sissy, that you
looked and acted tough. That’s how you earned your respect
with the gangsters as a kid – fighting back hard.
The next part of the initiation was to go and steal a car.
I was always curious as to how to snatch a ride. You had to
do this after any initiation. This was to show that you were
down for whatever you boys were down with. No matter the
activity, you were down for whatever.
So, I was a gangster now. My uncles and cousins
welcomed me into their family of criminals, thugs and drugs
dealers; needless to say, I welcomed this. I felt it was a rite
of passage. I was still in Chicago; I had just turned thirteen
and I had been initiated into the BGDs. Now I was a part of
the Brothers Of the Struggle (a.k.a. BOS). I was a junior
BOS. This was cool to me. Everyone knew you were in the
Folks because of the way you wore your hat. BGD’s wore
their ball caps with the brim banged to the right. This
distinguished you from those who were not down. This also
was advertisement to our rival gangs: Vice Lords, 4 Corner
Hustlers, and Black Peace Stones. Now I was a legitimate
target to them. They were now my enemies and I theirs.
Soon after my initiation was completed, my cousins
gave me work. They knew I was going to have to prove to
them that I could hustle. My cousin Cliff gave me about 2
eight balls (approx. $500 in crack) to get myself started. I
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had to prove that I could handle the groceries. This is what
he would call his drugs.
So now I am a gangsta, I’ve stolen a car, and I’m taking
my first little bit of crack. I was excited and nervous at the
same time. I had heard many stories about people working
for my cousins getting robbed or killed while selling crack.
To add to this, my cousin asked me to bring him back $250.
So, I proceeded to sell some crack to some of the other
young gangsters, and some of the older Folks helped me to
make a few sells. This was done to get my face out there –
advertisement, you can say.
I’m so glad my momma wasn’t around to see any of
this. I know she would have had a fit if she knew what I was
doing. But she wasn’t around, and I was making money.
That day, my first day selling crack was a good one. I think I
made about $700. I can’t remember the exact amount, but
it was way more than $500. I was excited! Now I started
thinking I’m the man. I left the block to go take my cousin
his money. He told me that I did a good job. He fronted me
some dope several more times after that; after a while, I was
able to buy from him and make my own money. That felt
good. It was like having my own business. I was a CEO and
didn’t even know it.
The more I hung out on the block, the more people saw
me, the more things happened and the more chances to die
increased. There was a serious gang war brewing up. One of
our Chiefs in the gang had been shot. Retaliation was a
must. We were all packing. My cousin gave me a snub nose
.38 special; I never carried a weapon before. I was nervous
and really not sure what to do with it. He said “If you see
one of them hooks around here, you blast that fool.” I said
“OK” with an unsure look on my face. Was I really going to
shoot someone? I really didn’t know. I guess I was going to
have to find that out myself.
It really didn’t really take long to find out. That same
night while hustling on 74th St., the Vice-lords did a drive-
by shooting. I was scared as hell. I had been in one before,
but not right outside. I was in the house, upstairs and
protected by my momma. This time it was just the air in
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between the bullets and me. Folks were running
everywhere. I hid behind a car. I was breathing hard; I had
a gun in my hands, and I was scared to fire it. I knew that if
I didn’t shoot, I would be marked as a coward. The Vice-
lords were still firing at us. I was still hiding behind the car.
I could hear my other Folks firing back. Without sticking my
head over the car, I decided to fire my gun.
Firing that gun wasn’t bad at all; I fired it again, and
again, and again, making no real attempt to shoot anyone. I
was scared; I didn’t want to get shot. By this time, all I
wanted was to go home and be with my momma and my
brothers and sister. This gunfight seemed to have lasted
forever. It really lasted about two minutes at the most.
That’s an eternity when your life is at stake. Needless to say
that night was the last time I would have to defend myself
and my fellow gangsters’. I got a hands-on demonstration of
reality. I was ready to go home. The gang life was not what I
really wanted, at least not the shooting and killing part of it.
During my teenage years I caused a lot of trouble for my
momma and myself. I really didn’t have that male guidance
that I wanted so much. After serving jail time on numerous
occasions during my high school years, I finally wised up. I
wanted to make my momma proud; I wanted to make my
younger siblings proud to call me their big brother.
On May 29th 1995, I decided to enlist in the U.S. Navy.
That was my way out of self destruction. I needed the Navy
to give me guidance, leadership, and mentorship. I have
received all of that and continue to receive more. I have
been in the Navy almost 11 years now, and I thank God for
every day that he has given me in the Navy. When I wake up
in the mornings now, it’s not to the sound of gunfire or
police kicking in my door; I wake up to the sounds of double
time-march.
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MY MOTHER’S DAUGHTER BY CAROLINE DANIELS
Some people are blessed to grow up in a household with

two parents. However, for most of my life, I had no idea
what that felt like. Don’t get me wrong, I was blessed, and I
still am. I just didn’t have a home like that.
My mother left my father when I was about nine years
old. It was a good choice considering the way my father
treated her. When it was time to go, my mother looked at
her four children and asked who wanted to go with her. All
four of us wanted to be with my mother. When we told her
this, I saw worry in her eyes. My father had not let her
finish college so she had no degree. She had not worked in
many years, and there was no guarantee that she would be
able to get a job that would support her and her four
children.
She started working as a county clerk and moved us into
an apartment with two bedrooms and one bathroom. It was
all she could afford. She didn’t want to be near my father,
but she also couldn’t bear the thought of making her
children change schools, so the apartment was one street
away from my father’s house. Child support was an option,
but my mother really didn’t want to go through the hassle.
She knew my father wouldn’t want to give her any money
for us.
Time went by and the five of us were getting used to our
new life. It was hard, especially at first. The apartment was
small, and it didn’t fit five people living there very well.
Tension would be high; arguments and fights occurred
often. With three daughters and one son, life became
interesting at times. Having an apartment that small full of
a bunch of females was almost dangerous. But, I guess we
survived.
Though life wasn’t easy and my siblings and I all had to
pull our weight to get by, we still did ok. My mother was the
strength through everything. She loved her children more
than anything in the world, and although we lived from
paycheck to paycheck, she still managed to spoil us. It
wasn’t the kind of spoiling that comes from wealthy parents,
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but it was the little things that made us feel good. She
would buy us any extras she could afford. I remember us
having more shoes than any one person would need, and
she would buy us another pair even when she had holes in
her own socks. My mother has always been like that –
selfless.
As my sisters and I reached the legal working age, we
quickly acquired part-time jobs to help with the money
situation. It felt so good to keep busy like that. All three of
us were working and going to school. It made me proud to
be able to help with expenses. It felt good to work and know
I was accomplishing something. I wasn’t working selfishly
either. I think it meant more because I wasn’t a normal
teenager, just working to have money for myself. It wasn’t
about that. It was about survival; it was about taking care
of home; it was about our family.
If there is one thing that has been a basis for the type of
person I am today, it would be my mother’s love. Her
strength, devotion, love, and support shaped me into the
woman I have become. My heart is full of love because she
put it there. She gave me the tools I needed to be a good
person. She showed me what it means to work for
something and to appreciate your blessings. The life she
provided was tough. There were some hard times, but the
love outweighed the pain and hardship. Her love outweighed
everything. If only I could become half the woman my
mother is, that would be the blessing of all blessings.
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LIFE IS A BOX OF CHOCOLATES BY JUSTIN BROCK
When I was two years old, my father left my mother and
me. There is not much to tell about because I don’t know
much. When I was six I was forced to live with my aunt and
uncle. I couldn’t live with my mother because she was more
into drugs than taking care of my younger sister and
brother and myself. My life as a child was not as pleasant
as the life you sometimes see on TV and the movies where
the family lives in a nice house in a nice suburban
neighborhood with a white picket fence and a golden
retriever running freely while the blissful boy chases it. I
had to face the realities of life at the young age of five; I
didn’t have the luxury of wondering where rainbows came
from.
It was hard for me to accept that my mother was doing

bad things, and I wouldn’t be able to see her again. It took
me a long time, and this is the story of how I came to terms
with that. When I went to go live with my aunt and uncle, I
was in a better environment. Just because I was away from
my mother, the person that caused me the most pain in my
life, doesn’t mean I was happy. I don’t know exactly how
many consecutive days I would sit alone and daydream
that my mother would come to my aunt and uncle’s house,
knock on the door and ask for me, and I would come
running, jumping into her arms, and she would hold me
tight against her chest. That’s what I yearned for, every day
all day. I didn’t want candy; I didn’t want Christmas
presents; I didn’t want money. All I wanted was to be with
my mommy again. Time seemed to stand still as my heart
was filled with agony. The countless hours, days, and
months I spent praying that my mother would come and
take me in her arms, I thought my life would end. I wanted
my life to end; I thought death would be easier than living.
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What I am about to mention is something I have never
told a single soul. It was the day that would change my life.
I was lying under my bed in the darkness – alone – as I had
been for months now. It was months since the day my
mother said I would be going to uncle Michael’s house to
live until she got better, and then she would come and pick
me up to take me home. Through all my weeps and sobs I
heard a voice. I will never forget this cold, dark voice. The
voice told me that I could end the pain for good. The voice
told me there would be no more pain. The voice told me to
reach above my head and grab the telephone wire that was
attached to the telephone jack and wrap it around my neck
and pull with all my strength on the end that was not
attached to the wall. As the voice was telling me this, I was
doing it. When I was laying in the dark, under my bed
pulling with all my strength on the cord, my mind became
clear. It seemed as if I was flying through space and my
body and mind seemed to separate. I woke up with the cord
around my neck and tears and snot dried on my face. The
lack of blood to my brain caused me to black out, but I was
still alive.
I don’t know what had changed in me, but as I crawled

out from under the darkness of my bed, I felt like a
different person. It was as if I had an epiphany. I realized I
wanted to live. I wanted to live happily, and I wouldn’t
spend another day or minute or second feeling sorry for
myself. I was going to change my life; I was going to take
control. I realized that all I needed was myself. I could take
care of myself, and, if I was disappointed in life, it was
because I failed myself, not anyone else. I took control of
my life that day, and ever since then, I have been a
survivor.
As a child, I was not happy. Now there is not a day that

goes by that I am not happy to be alive. There is rarely a
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day that goes by when I feel sad. I make my life happy by
focusing on the positive and eliminating the negative. You
will hardly see me in a sad mood. Life is too short to live it
feeling blue. Through my childhood experiences, I will
never waste another day feeling sorry for myself or
something I cannot control. I have control of my life now
and I love being alive.
MY SIMPLE BUT UNIQUE LIFE BY GRISELDA

PEREZ
I was born in Puerto Rico on September 16, 1984. It’s
funny how I came about, cheating is the word I’m looking
for. I was brought to this world because my mother cheated
on her husband. She already had three children with her
husband – Hector, Alex, and Jimmy – who are my older
brothers. My mother took a vacation to Puerto Rico, and she
could not resist the cute Puerto Rican young guy that was
hitting on her at the bar. So a one night stand did not seem
bad to her. She stayed there once she found out she was
pregnant, but later found out that he was up to no good so
she decided to come back to the U.S. Her husband took her
back, and they lived happily in Los Angeles, CA. California
which became my home. The happiness did not last for too
long; soon she found herself alone as a single mother of 5.
My sister Sandy was born.
We lived in Los Angeles until my brothers were old
enough to find drugs, gangs, and trouble. By this time mom
knew it was time to move away, so we came to Ontario. The
city of Ontario then became my home. Even though she had
little money, she put me and my sister in private school.
I determined I was going to make it easier for my mom,
so I decided to get us kicked out of private school. In fourth
grade, it occurred to me that I had never seen a urinal, so I
thought a little sprint into the boys’ restroom would be
interesting. Oh, I tell you that it really did bug all the little
boys in the restroom. And as if sneaking a peak at the
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urinals was not enough, I kicked a boy in his private parts
because he tried to kiss me. He deserved it. So this action
brought me to the public schools. The money spent, angry
teachers, the boys crying – all stopped. I continued going to
school, but now to a public school, hoping I would never
reach high school. And my mother was still suffering, just
making enough to support 5 kids on her own.
That moment came of course, the moment I will never
forget, when I entered the world where looks were
everything. I was never a good looking girl. I had braces,
pigeon-toed feet, and my hair was nappy. I never had high
quality clothes, considering mom had just enough money to
feed and clothe all of us. I never complained. I was happy
with the person that I was and that was all that mattered.
I had a rough time the first couple of years, with the
teasing that broke me to pieces, the struggles of mom trying
to feed us all, and no father there to give us some support
as a father-like figure. My brothers were into drugs, my
mother always working, and my sister and I at home doing
the entire housework. But then all of a sudden, it was like
God shined a light on us. My brothers got married, and we
were all doing fine.
However, all the troubles in my tiny life were just
starting.
My senior year came around. I was working part-time so
I could help out my mother. I still kept up my grades for my
mother; she was very proud of me when I crossed the stage
at graduation. None of my brothers had ever crossed the
stage before. Her eyes were full of tears of happiness. The
words that came out of her mouth when she embraced me
will always stay with me. She told me, “You are my pride
and joy, thank you for staying strong through everything
that we have gone through and continue to succeed.” I knew
then that I could never do anything that would disappoint
her. So I decided to do something with my life.
I met a boy in school that drove me crazy, made me feel
gooey, and made me nervous. But he broke my heart when I
did not want to give him what was precious to me. However,
the heartbreak not only made me stronger, but led me to
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take a serious decision in life. I was tired of going to school,
so I decided the military was perfect for me at that time. The
same look that I had seen on my mother’s face when I
stepped across the stage at my high school graduation was
the same look she gave me when I told her about joining the
army. She was so proud of me. ‘Till this day she brags about
me; she brags about how brave I am, and how independent
I have become.
All these struggles, tears and laughter, and memorable
moments have made me the person that I am today. My
mother has always told me that I am one of the most
important people in her life. I have made my mother proud,
but I think that she has made me who I am, and despite all
of the hard times, I have learned to be a great person. All
these series of events have made me the person that I am
today – Griselda Perez.
MY MOM AND MY LIFE BY TIM FRENCH
I was always the baby. I was born last in the family, the
youngest of three sons. As last in life, I received clothing
hand me-downs last, last portions of select-chicken pieces
at mom’s chicken dinner feasts, and last on the family
hugs-n-kisses. I was always last, but first at getting into
trouble. I got into more trouble in my 17 years at home than
both of my older brothers put together. It was not too
difficult: you needed a broad imagination and never to
accept no for an answer.
My mother says that I was pretty much a “brat,” and
people did not have to look up the word in the dictionary,
they just had to watch me! Despite the fact that I drove my
mother crazy, she was always there for me. This brings me
to my next topic.
When asked to identify the person who has had the most
powerful influence in my life, the most obvious choice is my
mom. She has been my teacher, counselor, role model, and
friend for the past 39 years. For me, she has been a source
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of inspiration and a constant reminder of what true love
really means.
In considering my mother’s position and influence as a
role model, I am reminded of a quote from Charlotte
Bronte’s Villette (Chap.4): “In addition she gave me the
originality of her character to study: the steadiness of her
virtues…the power of her passions to admire, the truth of
her feelings to trust. All these things she had, and for these
things I clung to her.” The virtues that stand out most
poignantly in my mother’s character are her dedication and
self-sacrifice. On the strength of her principles, she worked
two jobs and sent me to summer school, in order to give me
the strongest educational foundation possible. No obstacle
seemed insurmountable when it came to our education.
When my algebra classes seemed to have gotten the better
of her, she searched high and low, until she found a capable
tutor.
She is passionate about what she believes, yet has
reached an amiable balance of enthusiasm and reserve. In
her, there lies the essence of good character with her
honesty and generosity. If there is something to be done for
the community or the church, there is rarely a flinch of
hesitation before she adds it to a seemingly never-ending to-
do list.
One of the most important roles that my mom played in
my life is that of teacher and counselor. Unlike most
teenagers in the 70s, my mom was always in very close
proximity to my educational environment. Although this
may seem downright unpleasant to some, my experience
has been a truly remarkable one. My mom has not only
been my academic cheerleading section, but also a teacher
of “Life 101”. I have been given a lasting and confident
knowledge of myself as a person, and a moral code that
serves as a firm basis to judge implications of actions. She
has instilled in me love of people as a whole and has given
me advice in an unthinkable amount and variety of
situations.
The kind of relationship that takes most people years to
attain with their mothers is one that I have cherished. The
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depth of our understanding of each other could only have
been developed through patience, persistence, and
sometimes a leather belt or hickory stick applied to the
“seat of understanding.” Though we have had our share of
disagreements, her decisions have never been presented in
a “because I said so” manner: rather, however unpopular
the decision is, it is always presented with clear,
understandable reasons. She has taught me to realize that
she is far from perfect, yet together we may live life more
fully in the knowledge that we are helping each other to
become better people, through the constructive criticism of
friendship.
Thus, it is clear that the individual who has been the
single highest degree of influence on me is my mother. In a
world where teens consider their parents just another
authority to rebel against, I realize that I could never be
where I am today had it not been for the sacrifice and
motivation of my mother. I will always respect the influence
that she has had on my life, and will endeavor to take all
that she has taught me, as the inspiration to be all that I
can be, in the pursuit of my dreams.
Having learned these valuable lessons from my mother, I
was compelled to join the military. I wanted some
adventure, some motivation, some camaraderie, some
testing in my life. The Army fit the bill, though my mother
replied, “You’re crazy.”
My goal was simple: survive for twenty years in the
Army, and retire. Well, almost twenty years later, here I am.
I have survived – and so has my mother – to see the end
result. I set a goal for myself – to join and stay in the Army,
and I have accomplished that goal. In my eyes, and most
important, my mother’s eyes, I have succeeded. I am a
winner!
But wait, I cannot just stop there. I have set other goals
for myself: an Associate Degree from Central Texas College,
a Bachelor’s Degree from the University of Maryland, a
Master’s Degree from Troy State University, and my life after
the Army. Throw in getting married along the way, and
having some children, and the mix of life thickens.
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You see, I got all of this from my mother. She took the
time for me, and I cannot imagine anything that happened
to me in life, without going back to the lessons she taught
me. My goals are an extension of her goals, for me and my
life. She has passed on a legacy of sheer determination,
guts, will power, and fortitude. My achievements in life and
her legacy to me are so intertwined, it is impossible to
separate the two. Thus, perhaps you can understand in
some measure how deeply I am grateful to my mother for
what she has given me.
WHO AM I? BY ALEXIA NICOLE MONTAGNE
My name is Alexia Nicole Montagne, and I was born in

Abbeville, Louisiana, on April 28, 1982. I am the middle
child of three children; my mother and father had us at a
very young age. I have two brothers, one older and one
younger, and we are very close. I don’t have much memory
of my parents together growing up because my mother
moved to Georgia, and my father was never around. My
father worked offshore drilling oil, and my brothers and I
lived with our grandparents until the age of 10. My father
was in and out of my life; he never really came around
much. My mother and step-father would come and visit us
during holidays and special occasions. Soon, my mother
and step-father would take me and my brothers to live with
them in Georgia.
My brothers and I loved living in Georgia; it was like a
dream come true. See, my grandparents didn’t have much
money, and they were simple people, and they lived in the
country. So, when we moved to the big city of Dalton,
Georgia – which wasn’t big at all – we thought we were rich.
However, in all reality, my parents were as middle class as
they come, but they always provided us with whatever we
needed. We were all very happy.
I spent most of my middle school and high school years
playing softball and being a normal female teenager. I was
trying to find myself; well, what I thought was myself. My
mom was very giving and kind, but she was very strict on
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me too. So, needless to say, I had no boyfriends growing up,
and dating was out of the question. It’s understandable
though, since I was the only girl, and my family was, and
still is, very protective of me.
In my junior year of high school I met a guy that I
thought the world of at that time. Dating him was out of the
question, but I did it anyway. After a few months of dating
him, I received some bad news. Yep, that’s right, I was
pregnant. My parents were outraged, hurt, and confused.
And my feelings were spinning out of control. What was I
going to do with a child, at the age of 18, was the only thing
that I could think about? I had no idea. The guy I was
pregnant by was going nowhere fast and taking me with
him.
Out of rage, my mom threw me out of the house, and I
had no choice, but to move in with the father of my unborn
child. After a few months, my mother got over her anger,
and asked me to move back in; however, I couldn’t just
move back in with her, because my pride wouldn’t allow me.
So, I continued to live with him, in complete misery (thanks
to my pride) until the day that I gave birth to the most
wonderful gift God could have given me: my daughter.
After having my daughter, I knew her life was in my
hands, and even though I made a mistake having her at a
young age, I had to make sure her life was as perfect and
stable as I could make it. It was all about my daughter now.
I moved back in with my parents, and started working.
When my daughter turned two, I went back to school for my
G.E.D, and then I went to college for a degree in criminal
justice.
It was very hard for me to work, go to school, and be a
single mother. Plus, the daughter’s father gave all his rights
over her to me, and he was out of her life forever. It was up
to me to raise this child. Thank God for my parents,
because without my parents, I would not have made it very
far.
Soon my school grant was cancelled – education
cutbacks – and bills were piling up. I was headed straight
for a dead-end. My mother and older brother talked to me
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about joining the military; my brother was currently in the
U.S. Air Force, and things were going well for him. After
talking with the Army recruiter, I knew this was something I
had to do for not only myself, but for my daughter. Our life
would have a bright future after all.
After my military training, I was given orders to Korea. I
have been in Korea for two years now, and it has been a
self-developing experience. I feel blessed to have the
opportunity to do what I am doing, something most people
would never do. The Army has changed me for the better. I
love what I have become, and where I am going. My choice
to join the Army was a blessed choice, because I am a better
person and a better parent for making this choice. I love
what I do – being a soldier – yet I can always hardly wait to
return to my first job of being a mother.
My life hasn’t been all peaches and cream, but whose
life has? I can say with every fall, God has always lifted me
higher than before. I love my life and everything and
everyone in it. You live. You learn. You grow.
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FINAL EXAM COMPOSITIONS
In the Final Examination, students are given 2.5 hours to
write an essay on one of 5 possible subjects. They are not
required to use, notate, and footnote any specified Sentence
Forms.
The aim of the examination is simply to see how effectively

and gracefully they can write in a specified, reasonable
period of time. The five subjects given to the students for
the final examination were chosen from the following list:
Music, Family, Vacations, Work, Hobbies, Animals, Friends,
Memories, Clothes, Movies, Travel, Entertainment, Food,
Seasons, Holidays, Life Lessons, and Sports. The subjects
were chosen because of their general familiarity to most
people and therefore the ease with which students could
write about them.
What follows are some examples of final examinations

written by former students.
THE JOY, CHALLENGE, DISCIPLINE, AND

ACHIEVEMENT OF BEING ON A SWIM TEAM
BY SHANA DYMECK
Ever since I was a little girl, I have always loved to swim.
My grandparents have a pool – an indoor pool – where I
swim every day. My family calls me Aqualungs because I
can stay under water for a long time. My mom throws coins
in the deep end; I dive down to get them, and I don’t come
up until I have all of them. Nobody in my family can stay
under water for long, whereas I can stay under water for a
minute and a half.
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I remember when I was in the ninth grade, and there
was an announcement for the swim team sign-ups. I was
so fat, so inexperienced, so out-of-shape, that I really did
not want to join. I decided to go anyway, so I could see who
else wanted to join. I went to the meeting; I stayed for half
an hour, but nobody I knew showed up. I left and walked
back to my homeroom. Disappointed that none of my
friends signed up, I sat at my desk and stared at the brick
wall. I went home that day and called my friend Amy. I
asked her why she wasn’t at the meeting. She told me,
because she was joining the diving team, she didn’t need to
be there. That made me feel a lot better. Then I called my
friend Erica and asked her why she had not joined, and
she told me it was because she had signed up the day
before. Upon hearing this, I was really motivated.
The first day of practice was just the initial getting to
know my teammates. The next day, we were in the pool,
swimming laps. The first day of practice killed me. I think I
swam more that night than I did my whole life. As the days
turned into weeks and weeks to months, I could see a
change in my strokes and breathing techniques. I began
swimming faster and more accurately. My flip turns
became easier, and I could do them in less time. I was
really improving.
By the time our first meet rolled around, I felt I was
ready to do my best. My coach put me in the 100yd
backstroke. I was so nervous. I entered the pool; I heard
the scorekeeper telling us to take our marks; I heard the
horn, and I was off. All I remember is that I was talking to
myself through the stroke: “kick, kick, kick, kick.” As soon
as I saw the flags, I counted “1, 2, 3, 4, flip.” By this time I
had only a few more laps to go. My heart was pumping; my
adrenaline was racing. I could see my teammates cheering
me on, “GO, GO, GO!”
I knew I was close to finishing. I saw the flags and
counted to 5 as I took each stroke. Finally, I finished; I felt
the time pad and knew I did well. I looked up at the
scoreboard and saw that I had come in second. A female
from the opposite team had finished one-tenth of a second
before I did. That didn’t bother me though; it was my first
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race. Many more meets came, and I improved more and
more.
By the time the swimming season was over, I had
improved my time by 26 seconds. I was really proud of
myself, and others appreciated what I had accomplished.
We had a banquet, and my coach presented me with the
most improved swimmer award. It made me feel so good. I
knew I had accomplished something great.
Now, every time I get a chance to swim, I don’t hesitate
to go. It always brings back memories of my swim team
experiences. Swimming – what a fun sport!
MEMORIES AT THE CORNER OF MY MIND by Rico

Mendiola
Paul Livingston awoke in the middle of the humid
summer night. He reached out across the bed; it was so
cold, so empty, so lonely. It had been eight long months of
grief and sorrow since Donna’s murder; they had been
married for six months. The pain came back to him again.
His heart seemed to sink deeper inside his chest. Paul
couldn’t breathe. A loud, dreadful moan erupted from his
lungs. He felt a little better. As hot, pain-filled tears
streamed down his face, Paul thought about the memories –
the memories of the day he first saw Donna’s angelic face,
the memories of the day his heart had been ripped from his
chest when “his angel” was taken away from him.
Paul reminisced about the day his heart was stolen. It
was a sunny afternoon in early June. Paul was driving his
new 1997 Honda Civic; he was going to meet Charlotte, a
woman he had been seeing for a few weeks; he was going to
break up with her. He was cruising down 23rd Street. Then,
he saw on the street a woman wearing a summer dress
which accented her curvy and slender figure. Her face was
so clear, so flawless, so perfect. Their eyes met; she smiled.
Paul was so captivated by her beauty that he almost didn’t
see the car in front of him stopping at a traffic light. He
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looked back; she was still smiling and laughing at his
clumsiness.
Paul made an immediate U-turn, being careful not to hit
any other cars and looking for any policemen who might
witness his misconduct. Paul pulled up next to the beauty
that had captured his heart, as well as his sanity. On her
flawless face, she had a look of surprise and disbelief, which
quickly changed into a smile as Paul rolled down the
window of the passenger side of the car.
“You are so crazy,” she said, her beautiful smile still on
her face.
Paul got out of his car. “What is your name?” he asked.
“Donna. Donna Baker. And yours?”
“Paul Livingstone. Donna . . . that is a beautiful name.”
There was a momentary pause. “Donna”, the song by
Richie Valens, was echoing in Paul’s mind; it brought a
smile to his face.
“Would you like to take a walk?”
They walked and talked for hours. They had so much in
common. They decided to have lunch together. Four months
later they were married.
Paul’s thoughts joined his body back in his lonely
bedroom. It had been a year and a half since he met Donna,
and now she was gone. As the tears started to fall again, he
remembered the day Donna was killed.
It was March 24, 1998. Paul and Donna had been
married for five months and three weeks. They were having
their first argument that night. The argument started when
Paul decided that he was going to go out drinking with his
friends. Donna protested.
“We haven’t spent any quality time together all week!
Let’s stay in tonight,” she screamed.
“We spend all of our time together! I just want to spend
some time with my friends for once,” Paul screamed back.
“Why do you have to be so controlling?”
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They argued for an hour. Feeling frustrated and trapped,
Paul stormed out of the apartment. He thought of meeting
his friends, but he knew he wouldn’t have much fun
anyway. Paul sat at the diner for an hour, drinking coffee
and cooling down. When he was settled, Paul paid the
waitress and headed home. He realized he was wrong, and
he was going to apologize to her when he got back.
As Paul turned the corner, he immediately saw police
cars and an ambulance in front of his building. The flashing
lights danced all around the crowds of people who came to
see what all the fuss was about.
Paul ran upstairs to the apartment. He arrived just in
time to see them carrying out a stretcher with a black body
bag on it. They were coming out of his apartment! He ran up
to the bag and unzipped the bag despite the police officers’
and paramedics’ efforts to stop him. Inside the bag, Paul
could see Donna’s mangled body. Paul screamed in terror.
The detective calmed Paul down, told him what
happened, and questioned him. Someone had broken in,
attacked Donna, and brutally murdered her. Paul held his
head in his hands and cried. He felt responsible. He could
have prevented this.
Paul cried every day since that awful night. The guilt and
grief haunted him. All he had left of Donna was the
memories.
CHILDHOOD VACATIONS by Karl Hendrickson

Everyone needs a vacation now and then. A vacation
doesn’t have to be located in some far off exotic place. It can
be taken in your own way, with just a few minutes of peace
and quiet. For me, a vacation has changed over the years in
my life. My summers were all the same growing up. The
members of my family at the time would always fit a “Family
Vacation” into their busy schedules. Nowadays, a nice nap
is the only vacation that I have to look forward to having.
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In the days before my birth, my parents would take my
brothers to a close-by amusement park for a day or so – this
was their vacation. Now this all changed once I was born
and my family decided to take the “Vacation” idea and turn
it up a notch, not up too much, but just enough to keep
everyone happy. That idea lasted only ten years.
I can still recall all my five senses enjoying those Monday

mornings, when we would drive off for a week or two of fun.
We all woke up at the same time – very early. Not as early as
a fisherman, yet earlier than kids waking up on Christmas
morning.
I can still see our old 1983 Dodge station wagon sitting
in the driveway, sparkling from the mid-summer morning’s
dew. She was filled to the brim with luggage, games, food,
candy, and of course only half a tank of gas. Getting into
the car was always a treat, for we knew that we would be on
vacation soon.
We all piled into the car, my mom and dad in the front,
and my brother and I in the back, with candy and games to
keep us company. However, when we hit the road, there was
always something that my mom remembered that she had
forgotten: some small item, like film for the camera, sun
block, or, most of the time, money. After she was finally
ready to go again, my dad would make one (only one) stop,
before we were gone for good. That one stop was the gas
station, because he never had a full tank.
Driving down the road was my favorite part of those

trips. While most kids between the ages of 1 and 10 hate
riding in cars, mainly because they are impatient and want
to get there as fast as they possibly can, I enjoyed every
second of it – the sound of the highway, beeping horns as
well as people cussing at one another, and with the wind
producing a slightly annoying whistle sound. I loved
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watching the sun rising over the straight path of highway
and then quickly becoming hidden behind one of those big
green highway signs.
Even the smell of a dead deer carcass lying on the side of

the road was a grand experience.
My dad and I would always point out a new state license

plate when one drove by. I do believe we saw them all, even
Hawaii and Alaska. No matter how long we drove – mostly a
6 hour drive to Wisconsin, or my favorite, a whopping 336
hours driving out west, visiting all the wonders of the
American Frontier – we always found something to entertain
us.
Those days now are as gone as Harrison Ford’s movie

career. These days, I can feel small fragments of those mid-
summer vacations. It’s usually the sound or smell coming
off a highway. Someday, I hope to experience each and every
moment of those childhood vacations again, but this time as
an adult with me as the driver. As for now, I will have to
enjoy my few hours of sleep a night, which I call my
“Personal Vacation” from the stress of daily living.
MUSIC BY MATT ORMITA
Music is man’s highest art form, perhaps men’s highest

achievement, and what is so amazing is that it is not
tangible. Music fills the world with color, beauty, emotion.
Inspiration, sadness, anger – all these and more can be
generated just by listening to one minute of sound. It’s so
fascinating.
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What I find so magnificent about music is that it can
take you into a time warp. Driving to school one day, I
turned on the radio and Groove Theory was playing. All of a
sudden there were all of these memories from freshmen
year. I could remember my friends – some were still my
friends and some no longer – dancing around in the
lunchroom and singing the exact tune that was playing in
my car at that moment. Dozens of memories come back to
me within a minute’s time, and I had my own little video
yearbook playing in my mind. I sat in my car, watching it
play back, and I laughed, screamed, and cried all at the
same time.
I love older music: there was just more happiness and

hope to it. In today’s music, there just seems to be anger
and more anger. Our society today is based on negativity.
This has spawned off more furious styles of music: rap, rip-
hop, grunge rock. Look at our generation, we reflect our
music perfectly. We have no direction, no guidance, no
inner confidence. We commend kids that swear at their
elders and steal from honest workers; however, we laugh at
kids who help an old lady across the street. Society needs a
change, and perhaps it should start with the music. What
happened to the good old ‘60s when hippies smoked pot and
sang songs of love and peace and harmony? There’s one
thing that generation had that our generation lacks – hope.
There’s no longer a hope for change or for something better.
There is just a realization of what is.
This is just my own personal opinion: when the arts go

down, so too will the quality of life. And again, in my own
personal opinion, the music has collapsed in quality. It all
sounds the same: there are no different textures, there are
no really different styles, there is no real beauty. The longer
our generation lets the destruction continue, the more life
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will remain stagnant. So let’s bring it back to what it was all
about in the beginning – beauty, color, emotion.
BUILDING CHARACTER THROUGH WORK

BY RITA CHUNG
It was a Friday evening, and my mom had the sudden

craving for a quart of Baskin Robbin’s Jamoca Almond
Fudge ice cream. Of course, I volunteered to pick some up
for her. As I reached the Baskin Robbin’s front door, I
noticed a sign posted on the glass window. The one thing
that I was looking for had finally appeared right in front of
my eyes. That sign contained the words that I had been
hoping to read since the beginning of my senior year: “Now
Hiring!”
I had never had a job before; at least, not a genuine job

that paid the minimum wage. I lacked experience, and I
never had the experience of taking orders from someone
who was neither my parents nor a school administrator.
This was, indeed, a challenge and a change. However, I was
prepared for anything that might to be thrown my way. I
bought the quart of Jamoca Almond Fudge and asked the
cashier about the hiring sign. He informed me that the
interviews were going to be Saturday afternoon and to come
any time between the hours of 2-4 p.m. I thanked him, left
the store, and anxiously waited for the next day to arrive.
As I entered Baskin Robbin’s again the next day, I was

confident, poised, and ready for anything. I was told to sit
down and wait patiently for the manager to arrive. While
doing that, I noticed a room full of people replicating the
same actions as myself. Apparently, they were my
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competition. Was I afraid of competition? No. Was I
intimidated by the competition? Yes, somewhat.
I was the first person to be interviewed by the manager.

She was blunt and straightforward. I answered all her
questions as honestly as possible; I became more
intimidated by her than the competition. Surprisingly, the
interview only lasted about 15 minutes, though it felt more
like an eternity with infinity added on. Without hesitation,
she hired me and shook my hand with approval. I was
astonished.
During subsequent times at the store, when I was

scooping rock hard ice cream, producing numerous
sundaes, and making overly priced shakes and smoothies, I
had many encounters with the nearby community. Indeed, I
learned how to deal with obnoxious customers, annoying
children and their even more annoying parents, and the
daily deeds of being a cashier, a janitor, and a convincing
sales person, who always encouraged customers to
“upgrade” their scoop of ice cream for a dollar more. It was
marvelous. I loved my job with a passion, and I soon got the
chance to feel that exhilarating sense of obtaining a hard
earned paycheck as well as having Uncle Sam’s greedy
hands swiping half of it for state taxes. Oh, what a joy it
was, indubitably. Eventually, after I graduated from high
school, and summer was coming to an end, I had to leave
behind Baskin Robbin’s and the wonderful people there. I
had a new job to tend to: The United States Navy.
I had no idea what I was getting myself into as I stepped

off the plane at Great Lakes, Illinois. As I went through
basic training, I was constantly told by my division officer
that enduring boot camp was the easiest job I could
undertake; after all, I was provided with three meals a day,
a bed, urinating facilities, and an intense workout or two. I
even learned how to iron, starch, and fold my underwear
223
properly. And for all of that, I was getting paid. My division
officer was correct; but at times, I must admit, even a hardy
paycheck couldn’t brighten the many somber days I
endured there.
Naturally, I passed basic training, went on to complete

“A” school in the Information Systems of Technology (IT)
field, and am now working as an IT in Korea.
The hours are long and unproductive at times; the job is

tedious, redundant, and boring as well. However, the
attributes that I acquired during my days at Baskin Robbins
helped me conquer any task that was given to me in the
Navy. I had already learned to tolerate those who ranked
above me and who had the ultimate effect on my paycheck.
I had already learned to appreciate and respect my
colleagues, and I had learned to separate work and play,
business and pleasure.
Having a job prior to the Navy taught me to be

understanding and think through rough situations and that
performing your job right will always get you through
anything. The things that I’ve learned from my first job as a
talented ice cream scooper, to my current job as an IT, can
never be taken away from me. I’ve earned my merits,
whether they are official or not, and I am grateful to have
gone through a variety of jobs that have impacted me one
way or another. Work allows you to grow, to interact with an
assortment of people, and it builds moral character that will
be instilled in you throughout your life.
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THE VACATION FROM HELL by Andre Council
It was the summer of 1992. I had just graduated from

high school, and it was time to party. We decided to take a
long overdue vacation to Nags Head, NC. I had never been
there before, but my friends assured me it would be the
time of my life – they didn’t lie about that one.
We packed our bags, filled the cooler, and journeyed off

to North Carolina. The trip was so full of chaos and
craziness, full of drinking, and flirting with women. We
rented a minivan, and two hours into the ride we heard a
rumbling noise coming from the tire. It was unbelievable.
Before we could even get halfway there, we were fixing a flat
tire. The job normally takes about 10-15 minutes to
complete, but because we were so drunk, it must have
taken us 45 minutes.
The tire was fixed, and we were on our way (still drinking
of course). Jeff, who was driving, was not drinking; you see
he was the type of person who behaved inebriated even
when he was sober. All of sudden we heard sirens; the
police were behind us because we were going well above the
posted speed limit.
As we pulled over, we hurriedly put all the alcohol out of

sight. The officer pulled up and asked if Jeff knew how fast
he had been going. Jeff’s response was a big mistake: he
told the officer he didn’t know and didn’t care. (His exact
words being “Dude I don’t give a f*#$$.”) The police officer
immediately ordered Jeff out of the van and read him his
rights. And then his partner also ordered all of us out of the
van. “But sir we are going to Nags Head for a week’s
vacation,” I pleaded. But now the search was on and he was
sure to find the alcohol. We were all under age and under a
lot of pressure at this point. We were told that we had no
225
choice but to come down to the station and face our
charges.
The charges were drinking under age, having an open

container of alcohol in a vehicle, and Jeff’s reckless driving
charge. We had no choice but to call our parents, face the
charges brought against us, miss our vacation, and spend a
week in jail.
Needless to say, we were pretty upset at the fact that our

vacation was history, that we were in jail in the middle of
nowhere, and that there was no way we were ever going to
be able to get to Nags Head. So there we were – looking like
idiots – all because of immaturity.
WINTER BY R OSEMARIE C ICCARIELLO
One cool, windy morning I stand staring out the

window, sadness filling my body. What were once many
mornings filled with warmth and liveliness, no longer exist.
Gazing sorrowfully at the dull, no longer vibrant leaves that
were earlier so full of life and beauty, a tear runs down my
cheek – another season is ending, and another season
beginning.
It’s the season of death – winter. Winter makes its way in

slowly and silently – killing everything in its path. Flowers
that were once fully blossomed and once full of life perish
one by one. Animals begin to disappear, hiding and
burrowing away from the coming harsh winter. Nothing
exists outside any longer; winter brings an emptiness.
People also burrow away inside their homes, sipping hot

cocoa and sitting around the fireplace warming themselves
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and keeping warm from the torment that awaits them if
they step one foot outside.
White, sparking snowflakes begin to fall, covering the

dead grass. Children leap with joy at the sight of the falling
snowflakes. They anticipate this every year. For only three
weeks, they’re in heaven. However, parents groan with
anguish at the sight of falling snowflakes: their next three
weeks will be spent shoveling tons and tons of snow off their
driveways. They’re in hell.
As the days and weeks go by, Christmas makes its way

to the center of attention, with colorful lights shimmering
outside on every home. Millions of Christmas trees are
bought and fully decorated with cute, dazzling ornaments.
Christmas music blares from every store to every home.
Children, once again, are jumping with joy. They’ve been
anticipating Christmas morning all year.
Finally, early one morning the snow begins to melt. A

feeling of sadness fills my body yet again – another season
ending and another season beginning.
FAMILY AND MOM BY J ILL F RIEND
My family is the most important thing in my life; without

them, I am nothing. There are many important people in my
family, and I am close to them all. There in one person
however, that I want to single out, and talk about today –
my mother. Even though she is no longer with me
physically, she is always in my thoughts and my prayers.
My mom was born on December 4, 1953; she died on

September 29, 2000. My mom played many roles: mother,
daughter, sister, aunt, wife, and grandmother; she was
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great at them all. She led a hard life; when people have such
a life, others often believe that the person was poor or
unhappy. She was neither of those, nor was she
uneducated. My mom was happy, loving, middle-class, and
smart, but she always thought of everyone else first, before
herself. She was the person that would give you the shirt off
her back, and you could always count on her for a good
laugh.
My mother died a terrible and painful, sad and confusing

death. It all started when she was misdiagnosed as a
teenager; she said that she had pancreatitis. By the end of
her painful life, she was diagnosed with diabetes, liver
problems, congestive heart failure, pulmonary edemas,
sleep disorder, and severe edema of the legs. She finally
died of a heart attack. She had many major surgeries,
weekly doctor appointments, and trouble walking and
breathing. She took over 20 medications a day, including
insulin injections; half of those medications were for pain
and depression. She took morphine every day. It is so
amazing that she rarely displayed how much pain she was
in. Sometimes I would catch her crying, and it made me
sad. She always put on make-up until the last day.
I remember it like it was yesterday. I lived in Fort Sill,

Oklahoma, and she lived in Michigan; we spoke on the
phone on the 28th of September; we talked and laughed
and joked about everything; it was great. The last thing that
I said to her was, “I love you, and I will call you tomorrow.”
But that conversation never happened.
The next thing that happened – my world fell apart.
I remember very little of the next few days: the phone call
from my dad, the plane home, the funeral, and finally, the
lonely trip home. It felt as though I had no feelings anymore,
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just pain – it was like a 4016 bench press1 on my chest, like
a heart attack.
I am not mad at my mom for wanting to die. I can’t even

begin to imagine 30 years of constant pain – every day. I do
miss her though, with all of my heart. She was my mom, the
one that made all of my boo-hoos better, and she made me
chicken noodle soup when I was sick. The pain does get
better with time, but no one will ever be able to replace her.
So I just think about her, pray for her to watch over me,
and visit her when I am home. I love her – she’s my mom.
MUSIC OF MY HEART BY KRISTIE NOBLE

Music has taught me how to love myself with honor and
respect. Before I learned how to read notes or a music
sheet, I did not understand my heart very well. I knew I had
to do something about this missing piece in my life;
however, I could not bring myself to acknowledge that I
wanted to play music. I would listen to my friends give
performances, and my heart would be moved because I
could feel the harmony in each note of music. I felt
somehow I could find peace in music – peace of mind, peace
and love.
I was introduced to music by a friend – Sarah Potter.

Sarah played in the school band; she performed with
perfection and love and peace. When she played her
instrument, the music that came out of her horn sounded
1
Ed.Note: (from http://tr.im/BvpU) “Magnum Body Motion Series 4016 Bench Press is a
product of the latest technology out in the market today. The patented technology of the
Magnum Body Motion Series creates the same feeling as a using a weight stack or plate
loaded machine, but unlike the weight stack or plate machine, resistance comes from the
user’s own body weight, so exercise is smooth, silent, and friction free. The amount of
resistance produced by this unit is proportional to nearly half of a user’s total body weight.”
229
like music coming from God. In my mind, I knew I wanted
to play music to show the world what joy music brings to
the heart.
Playing my flute for three years, I have learned to have

faith in my abilities. This faith gave me the strength to join
the marching band my freshman year in high school. The
instructor, once a professional musician, was a caring and
loving person. Since he had a great passion for music, he
wanted everyone to share his sincere commitment to music.
He taught me so much about what it really means to play
music from the heart. The standard positions, the slurs, the
groove – those were the things he showed me, so I could
play from my heart. As music became comforting and
familiar to me, so too my understanding of myself started to
become clear.
After he taught me the basics, he showed me how to

walk and play at the same time. I was so proud of myself
when I finally mastered this technique. I will never forget
the moment I played with perfection. I know I found my
spirit in my music.
The day came when my school was going to participate

in a regional competition. I thought I was ready to show off
my stuff to everyone. As I walked onto the field, I felt an
overwhelming fear on the field. With a little help from my
friends, however, I defeated my fears and played with my
heart and soul. I knew by the end of the march I did my
best; hence, I felt I reached a little heaven on earth.
Music can change you and give you special experiences.

Music brings one definitive reality into your life: the feeling
of peace. The experiences in my life have changed me
forever while the music in my life transformed my heart. If
you have never found music in your life, I strongly suggest
230
you learn how to play an instrument. Music opens up the
opportunity to heal yourself through your soul and mind.
MY LONG TIME DREAM VACATION BY

T RUCQUYNH H UA
Do you like to go on vacation? Where do you want to go?
Well, since I am stationed in Korea, I want to visit Vietnam,
China, and Japan this summer. I will take a one month
vacation to go to Vietnam; in fact, I will go to Vietnam this
Friday on flight number VN9711. There are two reasons I
want to take my vacation in Vietnam instead of China now:
to visit my relatives and for sightseeing.
This is my first trip back to Vietnam since I left eleven
years ago. I can’t wait to see all my immediate cousins and
friends; however, I wonder if they will even recognize me or I
recognize them since I left Vietnam. I was just a little girl
with short hair and no eyeglasses, but now I am a young
lady with long hair and wear eyeglasses. When I think about
this, I feel both excited and nervous. I feel excited because I
will see and talk to them in person; I will not just see them
in the pictures or talk to them over the phone. On the other
hand, I feel nervous because I don’t know how they will
treat me – as a family member or as a stranger. Hopefully,
they will welcome me and give me the love that they gave to
the little girl I was eleven years ago.
The second reason I want to go back to Vietnam is for
sightseeing. I want to travel all over Vietnam – my native
country – from the north to the south, from the west to the
east, from the capital to the smallest village. I will be
traveling with my two aunts and cousin. The first stop of my
trip will be the capital of Vietnam, Hanoi. I will go shopping
on 34th Street which is famous for silk, pottery, and
handicrafts. I will visit the Deceasing Sword Lake – Ho Hoan
Kiem – and the One Pillar Pagoda. I will take a boat along
the Perfume River to the Perfume Pagoda. Perfume Pagoda
is one of the famous pagodas in Vietnam and the only
means to get to it is by boat. I will also visit the most
famous sightseeing in northern Vietnam – Ha Long Bay.
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From there, I will go to mid-Vietnam to visit Hue, once the
capital of Vietnam. Here, I can go visit the oldest literature
school of Vietnam and eat the famous food called Bun Bo
Hue (spicy beef noodle soup). You have to eat this food
when you go to Vietnam. After that, I will go down to Mui Ne
beach, then Saigon, then to different small cities along the
Mekong River. Finally, I will stop at my hometown,
Soctrang. I will stay there until the end of my vacation.
Going back to Vietnam is one of my long time dream
vacations. I will not only visit the country, but I will also
have a chance to see my relatives whom I miss very much. I
hope I will have a chance to visit Vietnam every year like
this year. This vacation will be the most meaningful one of
my life.
SKYDIVING BY HEE GON YANG

Let me tell you what it feels like to fly: to soar through the
air like the birds. In my opinion, there is no other feeling like it
in the world. I don’t know why I am attracted to it, but it draws
me toward it. You see I got hooked on skydiving a few years
ago when my friends introduced me to the sport. The
anticipation of the freefall grips you like a vice. I think I love
the sport because it defies the law of gravity; it breaks every
law of nature. The anxious moments waiting for the flight into
space, the rapid acceleration of the freefall, and the knowledge
that I am defying nature are what make it so exciting.
It all starts in a classroom where the basics of skydiving are
taught. The instructor teaches – in detail – every aspect of the
art of freefall. The importance of safety and timing as well as of
the form and style of the freefall are heavily stressed. This only
adds to the excitement. After the classroom instructions, you
must attempt a few dry runs on ground. Dry runs allow you to
get familiar with the equipment and identify mistakes before
you attempt the real thing.
I don’t think any amount of instructions prepare anyone for
the real thing: like learning to fly an airplane strictly in a
simulator. The whirl of the propeller, the smell of jet fuel, the
roar of planes taking off signifies it is time to do the real thing.
The air rushing through the open plane only adds to the
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anticipation of actually freefalling. Once the plane reaches the
proper altitude, the jumpmaster signals for everyone to start
jumping. Once you debark, the instant adrenaline rush hits
you like a brick. Once terminal velocity is reached, it feels like
you are suspended in air; it must be what birds are feeling.
The feeling lasts but seconds. If only briefly, I get to soar with
the birds.
OUR FAMILY TRIP TO FLORIDA BY MELISSA

HATFIELD
Family vacations at my house always started out at two

o’clock in the morning as all six of us filed into our family
van. Our father always went over his list for the trip and
checked for the following items: food, luggage, money, four
kids and one wife. After this, all was accounted for, and we
were ready to go. This time we headed out for Orlando,
Florida, and since we lived in Virginia Beach at the time,
you can imagine easily what a long trip it was.
It took us an entire day just to get there, with my little
brother Danny asking our mother if we were there yet
twenty million times. My mother would respond suggesting
that we play a fun car game. This is when Danny learned
that he should just be quiet. I would have rather sat in
silence or listened to my CD player. My other little brother
Andrew was only two, so he couldn’t play, but my sister
Lara would, and even though my dad was driving, he knew
better than to say no. After countless hours of hearing them
play I-spy, find-that-license-plate, and the memory game,
we finally arrived at our vacation spot.
The first task to complete was to get all of our stuff into
the hotel room. Not only did we all bring about six pieces of
luggage each, but our hotel room was always on the top
floor. After this chore, my sibling and I would be full of
energy and ready to go and do something fun, but our
parents would be too tired from the long drive. All they
would want to do was sleep.
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When the next day came, our vacation began. My mother
woke us all up at six in the morning, so that we wouldn’t
miss the free hotel breakfast (that always seemed to end at
eight o’clock) after which we would start our day. Every day
was always something different: a new amusement park, a
new sightseeing place, or a new tourist attraction.
After two complete weeks of this, we would all be left so
tired, so exhausted, so ready to go home, we would actually
take the long trip back home feeling that we needed an
additional vacation to recover from our family vacation.
WHY TAKE UP BICYCLING AGAIN? BY GERELD

MALEC
You probably enjoyed yours when you were a kid. Your
bicycle was cool: you had the longest banana seat and the
fattest tires on the block. Your bicycle was a cool ride; it got
you everywhere and anywhere you needed to go.
But as time moved on, you bought a more advanced
model of bicycle before resorting to motorized modes of
transport. But instead of selling it, you remained attached
to your bike. You took it everywhere you moved, you held
onto if faithfully; you gave it a special place in your house
that turned out to be the garage or attic. In the back of your
mind, you thought about riding it again; however, more time
passed as your bicycle gathered more dust and rust.
But don’t give up hope. Just give me a few minutes of
your time now to explain why you should get motivated to
blow the dust off, and oil the rust off your bike chain.
Riding your bike again will not only save money, but will
yield long lasting health benefits.
First, let’s focus on what is in the forefront of your mind
– Finances. Number one, your bike costs virtually nothing to
ride. Some oil for your rusty chain, a little elbow grease to
get the dust off, a few dollars to have an expert check it over
– these are the only things you will need to get your bike
back on the road. Sure, maybe you can’t totally live without
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the car, so you have to keep paying insurance. But pay
attention to the law of averages. When you bike more, you
drive less, and you have less out of pocket expenses.
The bicycle doesn’t require gasoline to make it go. It’s
powered by your human energy. And with skyrocketing
prices for a gallon of gas, isn’t it about time you gave
yourself a break? The bicycle also doesn’t require certain
maintenance expenses – motor oil, transmission fluid, drive
belts – required to make a car run. Oil changes and
automobile maintenance can cost an arm and a leg. The
bicycle has far fewer parts that will cause you to worry
about it breaking down.
And probably the most important benefit is improved
health and physical fitness. Medical studies prove that with
a just little bit of regular exercise per week, you can
increase your health two-fold.
Bicycling gives you that outlet to exercise, and relieves
stress. Just riding a few miles per week keeps you trim,
healthy, and increases your energy level. And with so much
to do in today’s world, isn’t it good to have a little more of
that? Moreover, the best thing is, you don’t have to be a
great athlete to do this.
So, if you find yourself looking at your dusty bike in the
garage or closet, and want to make a change for the better,
than why not take up Biking again? Leave your car keys on
the table just one day this week and bike to work instead.
You’ll save yourself money and get just a bit closer to that
body that you always dream about having.
A BIG, UNIQUE, AND LOYAL FAMILY BY G RISELDA

P EREZ
Many repeat the adage: you can’t live with them, but you
also can’t live without them. Family comes in all different
shapes and forms. But out of every family in the whole
world, my family is the best one out there. We have small
and huge, skinny and fat family members, but we love them
235
all the same. Despite all of our differences, we are all like
sticky rice: we stick together. The Garcia family, no doubt
about it, is a weird but exceptional family. Let me tell you
why my family is the best in the world.
We are a huge family. Our family consists of about 60-70

members. We are all different and unique, but in one way or
another we bond together because of the blood that runs
through our veins. All of us have something unique that we
share with one another, that makes us stick together. Let
me tell you about a couple of people and events that make
my family the best.
We are Hispanic. Our main dishes are Mexican food. A

lot of people say that love starts in the kitchen. Well, we
have some great cooks in my family. Tia Sandra cooks her
famous “carnitas”; Tia Merry cooks her infamous “arroz con
leche”; and my mother – Adelina – cooks her favorite dishes:
posole, tamales, and birria. My aunts and mother know how
to win someone over – by cooking. They bring our family
together with their cooking, no matter how angry we are
with each other. This is one of the reasons why we are a
great family.
Another reason we are the best family ever is because we

are always there for each other no matter what. When
abuelita [little grandma] died, we all cried, and helped each
other get through the pain. We all were brave and held each
other’s hand, when the world seemed to fall down on us. We
were there for each other through thick and thin; we never
complained about helping out another member.
But my family is also weird in a unique way. The Garcia

family is known to be happier than normal. I guess that the
happiness runs through our veins. When we get drunk, we
cry, laugh, dance, and enjoy ourselves in many other wys.
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From miles away, you can tell who is part of the Garcia
family by their zest for life.
No matter what happens in this world, I will never

exchange my family for anything in the world. My family is
weird and unique; it is not perfect, but it is exceptional, and
in my opinion and affections, the best one in the world.
THE SECOND CHILD BY DEVINE DAVIS
I always believed once you have a second child, you

could never love him as much as your first, yet I was wrong
– in a way. I remember it as if it was yesterday, traveling to
Saarbrucken, Germany, where he was born, to meet him
and his foster parent. I was told his short history. He had
two siblings who were already taken away: Rech and
Schiuchtern, when translated to English, meant pretty and
shy. Meanwhile, his own birth name was Gewalttatig, which
meant rowdy. That should have been warning enough for
my husband and I, yet when I saw his beautiful, big, brown
eyes, it was love at first sight, and we told his foster mother
“yes”, we would take him. The next big step was the trip
back to the United States.
“King William” – his new name – was plastered all over
his shot records, birth certificate, and any other important
documents that were needed in order to make his first trip
to his new home in the United States as smooth as possible.
As the months passed, my baby was not only rowdy, but
also very active! He crawled all over the place and
sometimes even ignored me when I called his name to come;
instead, he crawled to strangers begging to be picked up.
Whenever we all took family walks together, everyone
always stopped to compliment King, for he and his sister
always wore matching outfits. Although my daughter was
young at the time, she never showed an ounce of jealousy
towards him; instead, she always referred to him as her
little “budder”. Time passed, and their relationship only
grew stronger.
237
Every year he grew older, but he always looked the same
– same hair, same eyes, same size. I am so familiar with the
stares I receive: in restaurants, video stores, and even
restrooms! I am aware that King doesn’t look like the rest of
his family. But photographers, when they took pictures of
our family, were so stunned with the way the family looked,
they regularly asked my daughter “Where did you get your
little brother from?”, and she proudly replied “Germany!”
The noisy photographers smiled and continued on with
their task. My family members have become accustomed to
the stares, questions, and whispers; they only make us
stronger and more confident.
My daughter is now 5½, and to this day she remembers
when we brought King into our family; regardless of his
appearance and his nature, she loved him like a big sister
should. Every June 23rd we celebrate King’s birthday, and
this past June, even though I was here in Korea, my
husband and daughter made sure they had his cake ready
with candles – his age in human years. And even though he
is a dog, he loves to wear his birthday hat and lick the icing
off the cake. He acts like a typical 7 year old (in human
terms) – like a boy to me!
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The Remaining Forms of the Essay –
Classically Rhetorical and Contemporary
So far in the book, we have provided professional
examples of classical rhetorical essays for students
to emulate in writing their own essays. We have
covered only 4 of the 9 rhetorical forms – the
expository, the narrative, the descriptive, and the
comparative forms – while not addressing the
remaining 5 forms, namely the definitive, the
persuasive, the argumentative, the cause-and-
effect, and the process forms.
Instructors may desire their students to practice the
remaining forms, but the constraints of time and
space do not permit us to do that here. However,
many excellent anthologies of professional examples
of all the 9 forms are available. Instructors can find
the examples, give them to students, and then ask
the students to write their own essays. The best of
the essays can then be collected and used as
student models for subsequent classes of students.
However, this book has addressed itself primarily
to the mastery of the personal essay by
students, because the personal essay is the
foundation and cornerstone of all successful
writing of other forms of the essay.
Besides the 9 classical rhetorical forms discussed
above, there are 4 additional forms of the essay in
addition to the personal essay that are prevalent in
modern public prose. Below, we list those 5
prevalent public forms of prose, as well as adding a
6th form or category of the investigative news story
or report.
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Examples and Features of the
5 Prevalent Public Essay Types
The Personal Essay expresses an individual perspective on life in
a distinctive voice and style. When the Personal Essay is especially
excellent and memorable, it is aired on public radio and television,
reprinted in notable national newspapers and magazines, and
incorporated in collections of anthologies read by millions who can
never get enough of the Personal Essay because it is so perpetually
interesting, engaging, and frequently humorous or ironically insightful
about a wide array of ordinary matters.
The Popular Article concerns itself with topics like celebrities,

movie stars, sports heroes, and television personalities. The Popular
Article appears in magazines such as People, Reader’s Digest, Oprah
Magazine, Rolling Stone, in-flight magazines, and others or in
mainstream magazines like TIME and Newsweek when they wish to
seriously examine some notable aspect or development of popular
culture in terms of its wider effects on society as a whole.
The Formal Essay concerns itself with serious and urgent

questions of public concern such as environmental policy, foreign
affairs, breakthrough medical discoveries, or the types, causes,
characteristics, and consequences of wars in various parts of the globe.
Such essays appear in prominent and influential magazines such as
The Atlantic Monthly, National Geographic, Harper’s, Fortune, Foreign
Affairs, The Economist, Harvard Business Review, The New York Review
of Books, and other notable venues.
The Professional Article concerns itself with original

scholarship in the various disciplines of learning in the Humanities,
Social Sciences, Natural Sciences, and Business and Finance fields. The
Professional Article appears in academic journals such as The
American Historical Review, Nature, and important prestigious
scholarly reviews such as The American Scholar.
240
The Critical Review concerns itself with the in-depth analysis and
interpretation of a literary work such as a poem, short story, essay,
drama, book, or a review of a musical production, entertainment event,
or movie. Such a review is likely to appear in literary journals and in
specialized sections of locally or nationally syndicated newspapers or
magazines, as seen in the New Yorker, the Atlantic Monthly, TIME,
Newsweek.
The Sixth or Investigative Report or Article has been

understood and practiced by innumerable people through the years.
Investigative reporting follows the classical 5 question format of who,
where, when, what, and how, but we should add a 6th why as well. The
prose is clear and direct, with a vital voice and vivid style. Newspaper
reports and articles are usually written after graduation from
universities by professional writers who have developed the craft of
writing adequately enough and have sufficient time to devote to
writing under the demands of a tight time schedule. Of course, in
schools, students practice writing investigative articles in their local
high school, university, and social club newspapers and in-house
newsletters.
Generally, investigative newspaper reports or articles fall into 2

categories. The first category consists of short articles narrating or
describing events and issues of present concern to the community and
public to whom the articles are addressed. The second category
involves in-depth interviewing, investigating, and reporting of
important events, ideas, persons, and problems of pressing relevance
for society in general and for public policy. Often such articles
eventually become influential books. Thus, the famous Pentagon
Papers about the war in Vietnam is one such example, or the brilliant
and incomparable books by the journalist David Halberstram about
the automobile industry, the media and newspaper corporate giants,
professional sports, and the Korean and Vietnam wars. In a similar
vein, there are the books written by social critic Naomi Klein, the
economist Paul Klugman, the 3-volume historian of the war in Iraq,
Thomas E. Ricks, or the foreign policy expert and CNN commentator
Fareed Zakaria.
241
Two Academic Extended Essay Forms
Term or Research Paper
The Term or Research Paper is strictly academic and has
been required in high school and university classrooms for
decades. The Term or Research Paper was rather loosely
defined for years, but has increasingly assumed a definite
form, structure, and format. It requires students to
investigate a field, then conceive and formulate a clear thesis
statement, which is then developed and supported by clear
logical reasoning and adequate empirical facts, illustrations,
and evidence.
The Term or Research Paper by definition has a rather

confined and limited focus, but some papers can deal with a
more extensive issue or problem, while others can have a still
more general bearing and relevance. In fact, that is part of
the perennial problem with the Term or Research Paper:
teachers expect too much in the way of original thought and
supporting scholarly evidence for the limited time students
have available to research and write the papers, while
students tend to narrowly restrict the topics they research to
unimportant and silly issues of no serious value to anyone,
including themselves. Moreover, teachers expect students in
a Term or Research Paper to write polished and competent
prose with considerable clarity and style; however, students
have not been adequately instructed earlier to write
competent prose with clarity and style, so they are
overburdened by the expectations placed by the teacher and
their own sense of what the task requires. Everyone is often
thoroughly disappointed – students and teachers alike, with
each side blaming the other.
The Term or Research Paper should not be given to

students until they have been given a thorough
grounding in writing personal essays and mastered as a
consequence the 11 Sentence Forms without which they
cannot write with clarity and style. Once they have
mastered a style with reasonable clarity and grace, they can
tackle wholeheartedly and single-mindedly the requirements
for serious investigation and original thought demanded by a
Term or Research Paper.
242
Doctoral Dissertation
An additional form of literature that serves as a bridge
between the essay and the book is the doctoral
dissertation which possesses its own highly specified
structure and rules for composition and citation. Rather than
give all the details and guidelines here, we list below some
excellent guides for learning how to approach, conceive, plan,
complete, and deliver a dissertation:
Destination Dissertation: A Traveler's Guide to a Done

Dissertation by Sonja Foss and William Waters published by
Rowman & Littlefield Publishers;
The Portable Dissertation Advisor by Miles T. Bryant published

by Corwin Press;
Blending Qualitative and Quantitative Research Methods in

Theses and Dissertations by Robert Murray Thomas published
by Corwin Press;
Writing the Winning Dissertation: A Step-by-Step Guide by Allan

A. Glatthorn;
The Qualitative Dissertation: A Guide for Students and Faculty

by Maria Piantanida and Noreen Garman
Because of its specialized focus and its requirements for raw

data, the doctoral thesis often explores topics from a highly
specialized academic viewpoint. Indeed, they are so
specialized that a citizen with a general level of literacy would
have a rough time reading such a paper. They are written
primarily for an academic of scholarly audience.
243
Personal Essay is Just the Beginning
If we count the 9 classical rhetorical forms of the
essay, and then add the 5 + 1 prevalent public forms,
plus the 2 academic forms, we have a grand total of 17
forms according to which the essay can be structured
and written.
We have stressed the Personal Essay as the
foundation for all the other essays, and as noted earlier,
we have presented professional examples and profiled
model student essays for the expository, narrative,
descriptive, and comparative essay forms. Also above,
we encouraged instructors to collect their own
professional examples and model student essays for the
remaining 5 classical rhetorical forms.
Concerning the 5+1 Prevalent Public
Contemporary Forms of the essay, we do not present
examples here of the other forms beside the Personal
Essay, nor do we present examples of the 2 academic
forms. It is not necessary for us to do so here because,
as we have stated earlier, the Personal Essay is the
basis for all the others. However, the primary reason
we do not need to present the other forms here is that
we have created – with the 11 forms of the sentence
and the method for notating and footnoting them in
essays – the essential means by which students can
constantly improve their writing by steadily
applying the 11 forms and the method of notating
them in all subsequent instances where they study
and write the remaining forms of the essay. This
holds in every discipline of learning as well as across
disciplines of learning where they may need to write
essays or reports.
In general, we encourage instructors to have their
students research and write Popular Articles more
244
often for two reasons: (1) the topics for popular articles
would be more generally appealing and accessible for
students to research and write; and (2) the language
required for writing popular articles is more akin to
expressive writing than other forms of the essay and so
would be a natural way for students to expand and
progress in the forms they use.
Instructors might also consider assigning the
Formal Essay as the capstone assignment for 3rd and
4th year university students pursuing independent
topics of research across disciplines or composing an
original research essay on an important, cutting edge
topic in their field of study.
Finally, instructors might consider more often
choosing some especially gifted and competent
students and encouraging them to each write either a
Professional Article or a Critical Review, giving them
class credit for the final product. Such a product could
be entered into a Performance Portfolio which could be
used by students to enhance their credentials for
graduate school or places of employment.
Of course, the Term or Research Paper is often the
primary focus of instruction in an increasing number of
writing courses in college, sometimes as the second
course in a writing curriculum and sometimes as the
capstone course. There is a reason for the pervasive
emphasis on the Term or Research Paper since indeed
it is simply the cumulative outcome of the traditional
approach and emphasis to teaching writing: namely,
that writing is primarily about independent thinking,
analytical proficiency in discerning and systematically
organizing the component parts and pieces of an essay,
and clear writing. It thus places a premium on
rational thought, logical coherence, and consistency
in a linear mode, as well as dispassionate
245
detachment from excessive emotion and cultural
prejudices.
In other words, the Term or Research Paper is
the classical goal and mode of instruction in the
Father Tongue. The ubiquitous 5-paragraph essay was
so often the standard introduction, but only
introduction, to this way of writing, where you
commence with an arresting or bold beginning, develop
the substance of the content of the essay in the middle,
and end with a resounding conclusion or suggestive
implications.
Everyone should learn to write the Term or
Research Paper described above, so it is a thoroughly
admirable assignment for college students or
advanced high school students. Unfortunately, it
emphatically requires that students know how to think
before they can write such clearly conceived and
written essays. But students are not given any
courses in creative and critical thinking which they
should have first before they are asked to write
such papers.
And there is one major additional problem with
the traditional way that the Term or Research Paper is
taught. At present, or only until very recently, no
models for how to write such an essay were
available to students, other than the traditional
classical rhetorical form of the argumentative essay
or the cause-and-effect essay.
However, some notable breakthroughs have been
made recently in discovering models or templates that
will assist students to structure and organize their
thoughts around rhetorical strategies for marshalling
arguments in dialectical debate with one another as
well as in conceiving and deploying convincing
arguments that resolve whatever problem is being
examined by an essay.
246
The constraints of time and space in this book do
not permit us to explore these recent developments to
the full extent they deserve. However, we present on
the next page a brief summary of some of the inventive
strategies and rhetorical means developed by these
recent theorists, and we identify the foremost authors
and books that instructors might want to explore at
greater length on their own.
247
Models of Thought (Thinking Moves) Can
Assist the Thoroughly Researched and
Thoughtfully Focused Essay
To master the thoroughly researched and thoughtfully
focused essay – whether in academic writing, documentary
reports, or investigative journalism – requires considerable
skill that comes with much experience.
If a scientific journal article is a conversation that the author

has with contributions from fellow scholarly participants
who are present only on the page, a good writer must
accommodate the contributions of those participants and
integrate them into a coherent, logically sequenced flow. The
line of thought, the line of intellect, must be enhanced by the
presence of signposts that indicate where the next turn or
twist is heading for the reader to be able to keep up with the
account and where it is going.
In the sense that one is marshalling evidence from many

sources and positing them in such a way as to lead to certain
inferences and deductions, we call these the signposts of
academic argumentation.
Three recently published books call these signposts thinking

moves and offer suggestions and practical advice for
applying such strategies and practical methods for writing
the traditional research essay.
248
In They Say/I Say, the two authors, Gerald Graff and Cathy
Birkenstein, list 19 templates which are sentences that start
out positing a certain logic but that are not completed. For
example,
I wholeheartedly endorse what X calls _____.
By focussing on ________, X overlooks the deeper problem

of _____.
These 19 categories of templates have 4 to 10 starter

sentences in each category.
Joseph Harris in Rewriting reduces such writing to 5 major

moves: coming to terms, forwarding, countering ideas, taking
an approach, and revising.
In Critical Passages, Kristin Dombek and Scott Hernadon

clearly describe the types of dead-end streets into which
many students drive their cars of thought, but offer five
thinking moves as tools or models of thought for the student
to deploy in their essays so they don’t end up in such dead-
ends.
Moreover, we might mention here once again the related

book, A Writer’s Guide to Using 8 Methods of Transition by
Victor Pellegrino, as also a superb guide that helps lay out
before the student the full range of phrases and sentence
starters that will help propel their lines of thought, as well as
indicate transitions and changes of direction in thought.
249
Writing a Critical Review
As noted before, Professional Critical Reviews are
usually written after graduation from the university and
appear in literary journals and noted magazines like The
New Yorker or The New York Review of Books. However,
critical reviews of poems, essays, books, and movies are
also a standard feature of university literature courses,
with students required to read, analytically dissect, and
synthetically interpret as well as analyze, evaluate, and
personally respond to what they read.
Below, we provide 8 guidelines to assist students in

analyzing essays and other forms of literature.
250
251
Parting Thoughts about the Essay
With the 8 methods for analyzing an essay above, we
have begun to shift the emphasis of our book from
Writing to Reading.
However, we conclude this section with some final
reflections on and a final tribute to the Essay as a
distinct form of prose, so central to all of modern and
contemporary life.
Below are 5 quotations or selections about the essay
which conclude our reflections about this form, followed
by a recommendation to read in its entirety what we
regard as the finest essay ever written about the essay –
She by Cynthia Ozick, a 5-page essay which first
appeared in the September 1998 issue of the Atlantic
Monthly. We do not wish to quarrel with others who
may, quite legitimately, nominate their own preferred
candidate for the best essay ever written about the
essay. We always encourage diverse presentations or
interpretations of an idea or issue.
The first quotation below is taken from Richard
Dowling’s first book The Youth and Maturity of
Humanity: Interpreting Modern, American, and
Impending Global History as One Story. In the quote
below from the book, Dowling describes both the Essay
and the Novel as the ideal forms suited for the Middle
Class which would dominate the modern world. His
description of the Essay introduces us to the 4
subsequent quotes about the essay.
Dowling on Essay and Novel

“To minister to this growing audience of the Middle Class and
its growing sense of importance, self-esteem, and need for
enlightenment and entertainment, two entirely new forms of
literature would appear and come to dominate (between them)
the moral, mental, and aesthetic sensibilities of modern times:
namely, the essay and the novel.
252
“The essay is a discursive form of prose – from a distinctly
individual viewpoint – which observes, comments upon, analyses,
evaluates, expresses, or otherwise occasions reflection and
thought about the everyday conditions, preoccupations, and
interests of ordinary people in the real world. It is the perfect
medium of information, education, and general enlightenment for
a class absorbed in the monetary, material, and pressing affairs
of the secular, busy, ambitious world.
“As for the novel, it is manifestly not about ideal classes or

types of people, but about specific individuals in time and
place, embedded in and reflecting their material
circumstances and peculiar social settings. The heroes and
heroines are ordinary, plain people like you and me: Tom
Jones by Fielding; Robinson Crusoe by Defoe; Pamela by
Richardson; Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn by Mark
Twain; Scarlet O’Hara in Gone with the Wind; Heather in The
Scarlet Letter; or Jem in To Kill a Mockingbird. And the need
to satisfy the huge market for this literature yields yet
another crop of writers, critics, and publishers, swelling in
their turn the ranks of the ever burgeoning middle class. The
onset of musical recordings, movies, radio, television, and the
internet in this century brings this whole process – rather
definitively and clearly – to a climax, demonstrating the
power, influence, and, one might add, the increasing privilege
of the middle class in the Modern World.”
Montaigne, The Individual, and the

Form of the Essay
from Mimesis: The Representation of Reality in Western Literature Erich Auerbach
In the selection below, Erich Auerbach, whom many consider the
greatest literary critic of all time, in his classic book Mimesis, captures
the striking individuality of Montaigne who popularized the essay as
the pre-eminent form of individual expression in the 16th century.
Though Montaigne helped pioneer the essay form in France, essay-
like formats had arisen in Tang Dynasty in China centuries earlier.
253
No less a part of Montaigne's method is the
peculiar form of his Essays. They are neither an
autobiography nor a diary. They are based on no
artfully contrived plan and do not follow
chronological order. They follow chance – les
fantasies de la musique sont conduictes par art, les
miennes par sort. Strictly speaking it is "things"
after all which direct him – he moves among
them, he lives in them; it is in things that he
can always be found, for, with his very open eyes
and his very impressionable mind, he stands in
the midst of the world. But he does not follow its
course in time – nor a method whose aim is to
attain knowledge of the one specific thing or of a
group of things. He follows his own inner rhythm,
which, though constantly induced and
maintained by things, is not bound to them, but
freely skips from one to another. He prefers une
alleure poetique, a sauts et a gambades (a poetic allure,
has jumps and capers). Villey has shown (Le Sources, etc., 2, p.3ff)
that the form of the Essays stems from the
collections of exempla, quotations, and
aphorisms which were a very popular genre in
late antiquity and throughout the Middle Ages
and which in the sixteenth century helped to spread
humanistic material. Montaigne had begun in this
vein. Originally his book was a collection of the
fruit of his reading, with running commentary.
This pattern was soon broken; commentary
predominated over text, subject matter or point
of departure was not only things read but also
things lived -- now his own experiences, now
what he heard from others or what took place
around him. But the principle of clinging to concrete
things, to what happens, he never gave up, any more
than he did his freedom not to tie himself to a fact-
254
finding method or to the course of events in time. . . .
Montaigne is something new. The flavor of the
personal, and indeed of a single individual, is
present much more strikingly, and the manner
of expression is much more spontaneous and
closer to everyday spoken discourse, although
no dialogue is involved.
In her excellent compilation on the essay The Art of the Essay, in her
Introduction On Approaching the Essay, Lydia Fakundiny notes that
“essayists read, avidly and widely.” She closes saying “Reading an essay is
not a feat of information-gathering; it is not like running down to the corner
store for a quart of milk. It is following the motions and paces of another
mind, alert and open to whatever they reveal. Reading essays and writing
them have this in common: either way you must ‘know how to take a
walk.’ The art of it is one of the great pleasures a person can cultivate.”
255
256
The Essay as a Feminine Form as
well as Masculine Form
In the immediate previous quotation, Cynthia
Ozick ended by highlighting that the essay
demanded “a committed intelligence, a single-
minded truth-speaker.” At first sight, the essay
seems to privilege the Father Tongue with its
commitment to rational, clear, logical, and
focused thought supported by adequate
evidence gleaned from critical reflection and
the fruit of investigative integrity. However, as
the Chinese reminded us long ago, the Right Hand
is not absolutely contradictory to the Left Hand;
indeed, the Right Hand at the height of its
development implies and transforms itself into the
Left Hand – the fully known and developed goes
in search of the still unknown and emerging
reality yet not fully comprehended. That which
is thoroughly discovered and fully defined goes in
search of what remains to be discovered and still to
be defined, as Joan Retallack notes, so admirably,
in her evaluation below of the essay and her
definition of it as a feminine form – however ironic
that may sound. For, the essay is open like the
feminine sensibility and ever a Venture, as the
origin of the word essay means in the original
French infinitive verb (essayer) to try, to attempt,
to venture.
“Just as the essay is not the result of
investigation, [but] it is the investigation going
on in writing that, in the radical mode of any
lively thought, does not, at any given point,
know entirely where it's going. This means that
257
its openness to its inability to conclude, its refusal to
know, rather than to sense, suspect, consider, theorize,
contemplate, hypothesize, conjecture, wager ... forms it
as an experience of being in the world where uncertain
and unpredictable life principles (in contrast to
prescriptive rules) always exceed the scope of logical
inference or imagination. This is the moving
principle of the essay, which is distinctly
feminine in its violations of masculine
orthodoxy, the rule-bound "law of the fathers"
that some feminist theorists have unfortunately
mistaken as the only principles we have.”
—Joan Retallack The Poethical Wager
As indicated earlier, we now conclude by
recommending, in confirmation and support of
Retallack’s view of the essay, the superb essay She
about the essay as a form of literature by Cynthia
Ozick from the Sept. 1998 issue of The Atlantic
Monthly.
Below is the wonderful opening paragraph of that
essay to entice you to read the whole essay in its
entirety:
“An essay is a thing of the imagination. If there is information
in an essay, it is by-the-by, and if there is an opinion, one need
not trust it for the long run. A genuine essay rarely has an
educational, polemical, or socio-political use; it is the
movement of a free mind at play. Though it is written in
prose, it is closer in kind to poetry than to any other form.
Like a poem, a genuine essay is made of language and
character and mood and temperament and pluck and chance.”
If the paragraphs above by Retallack and Ozick
seem to contradict so much of what we have said
previously about the essay , well they do contradict
what we said, for they represent the Left Hand and the
Right Brain, while we previously stressed the Right
Hand and the Left Brain evaluation of the essay as a
258
typical product. The essay as a form of literature,
however, is ideally a harmony and blend of the 2
hands, of the Feminine Tongue and the Masculine
Sensibilities
Continuing to Write All Through Life

Students have now acquired an understanding of the
Form features and Form options available in the English
Sentence. They have learned to incorporate those varied
Forms of Sentences into longer paragraphs and extended
essays of various types such as Expository, Narrative,
Descriptive, and Comparative. They have mainly been
engaged, therefore, in developing skill and proficiency in
self-expressive writing on themes and topics largely of their
own choice. In our 2-volume survey of the English
language The Two Hands Approach to the English Language
– a Symphonic Assemblage, we designate the mastery of
self-expressive writing as the first stage of learning to write
and call it the Mother Tongue. However, there are 2
remaining stages that aspiring writers must learn to
master over a lifetime: the Father Tongue and the
Imaginative Tongue.
Mastery of the second stage, the Father Tongue,
requires students to students to acquire research skills
and to construct argumentative essays, critical reviews,
and public articles discussing contemporary issues and
offering possible solutions. The mastery of this stage
should generally be accomplished in successive university
classes in various disciplines of learning.
Mastery of the third stage, the Imaginative Tongue,
requires students to harmoniously blend the feeling,
259
fluency, and heart of self-expressive writing (the Mother
Tongue) with the rationality, logical consistency, clarity of
expression, and objective detachment of writing about
public problems and issues (the Father Tongue). The
Imaginative Tongue, as its name suggests, means that the
creative imagination is added to the skills acquired by the
Mother Tongue (Semester 1) and the Father Tongue
(Semester 2 and later university courses). It takes a
lifetime of reading in varied genres, disciplines of learning,
and above all, in the fields of literature to master the
Imaginative Tongue which yields the magical riches and
worlds of poetry, stories, songs, and the mythologies of
world cultures and the works of literary genius they
harbour and transmit.
260
Selected Bibliography
A much larger bibliography (than the selected bibliography
below) of all the books we consulted for our 2 volume study
of the English language, The Two Hands Approach to the
English Language: A Symphonic Assemblage, is given at the
end of Volume II.
(1) Bacon, Nora. The Well-Crafted Sentence: a writer’s guide to style.
Boston: Bedford/St.Martins, 2009.
(2) Beaufort, Anne. College Writing and Beyond: A New Framework for
University Writing Instruction. Logan, Utah: Utah State University
Press, 2007.
(3) Beaufort, Anne. Writing in the Real World: Making the transition
from school to work. New York: Teachers College Press (Columbia
University), 1999.
(4) Bennett, James R. Prose Style: a historical approach through
studies. San Francisco: Chandler Publishing Company, 1971.
(5) Berlin, James A. Rhetoric and Reality: Writing Instruction in
American Colleges 1900-1985. Carbondale: Southern Illinois UP,
1987.
(6) Berlin, James A. Writing Instruction in 19th Century American
Colleges. Carbondale: Southern Illinois UP, 1984.
(7) Berlin, James A. Rhetorics, Poetics, and Cultures: refiguring college
English studies. West Lafayette: Parlor Press, 2003, 1996.
(8) Berthoff, Ann E. The Making of Meaning: metaphors, models,
and maxims for writing teachers. Upper Montclair NJ:
Boyton/Cook Publishers, 1981.
(9) Berthoff, Ann E. The Sense of Learning. Portsmouth NH:
Boyton/Cook Publishers Heinnemann, 1990.
(10) Berthoff, Ann E. (ed.) Reclaiming the Imagination: philosophical
perspectives for writers and teachers of writing. Upper
Montclair, NJ: Boyton/Cook Publishers, Inc. 1984.
(11) Berthoff, Ann E. forming/thinking/writing: the composing
imagination. Upper Montclair, NJ: Boyton/Cook Publishers, Inc.
1982.
(12) Bishop, Wendy, Deborah Coxwell Teague. Finding Our Way: A
Writing Teacher’s Sourcebook. Boston: Houghton Mifflin, 2005.
(13) Bloom, Lynn Z., Donald A. Daiker, Edward M. White (eds.)
Composition Studies in the New Millenium: rereading the past,
261
rewriting the future. Carbondale: Southern Illinois University,
2003.
(14) Bloom, Lynn Z., Donald A. Daiker, Edward M. White. (eds.)
Composition in the Twenty-First Century: Crisis and Change.
Carbondale: Southern Illinois University Press, 1997.
(15) Blumenthal, Joseph C. English 2600 with Writing Applications: A
Programmed Course in Grammar and Usage. New York:
Wordworth Publishing, 1994.
(16) Boice, Robert. Professors as Writers: a self-help guide to productive
writing. Stillwater OK: New Forums Press Inc. 1990.
(17) Brereton, John C. (ed.) The Origins of Composition Studies in the
American College, 1875-1925: a documentary history. Pittsburgh:
University of Pittsburgh Press, 1994..
(18) Britton, James. Language and Learning. 2nd ed. Portsmouth, NH:
Boynton/Cook, 1993.
(19) Britton, James, et al. The Development of Writing Abilities 11 to 18.
London: Macmillan, 1975.
(20) Carroll, Joyce Armstrong, Edward E. Wilson. Acts of Teaching: How
to Teach Writing. Englewood, CO: Teacher Ideas Press, 1993.
(21) Christensen, Francis. Notes Toward a New Rhetoric: 6 Essays for
Teachers. New York: Harper, 1967.
(22) Connors, Robert J. Selected Essays of Robert J. Connors. Ed. by Lisa
Ede and Andrea A. Lunsford. Urbana, Illinois: Bedford/St. Martins,
2003.
(23) Connors, Robert J. The Erasure of the Sentence. From College
Composition and Composition 52.1 (2000: 96-128)
(24) Corbett, Edward P.J., Nancy Myers, and Gary Tate. The Writing
Teacher’s Sourcebook. 4th edition. New York: Oxford University
Press, 2000.
(25) Crowley, Sharon. Composition in the University: Historical and
Polemic Essays. Pittsburgh: Univ. of Pittsburgh Press, 1998.
(26) Delbanco, Nicholas. The Sincerest Form: Writing Fiction by Imitation.
New York: McGraw-Hill, 2004.
(27) Donoghue, Frank. The Last Professors: the corporate university and
the fate of the humanities. New York: Fordham University Press,
2008.
(28) Ede, Lisa. Situating Composition: composition studies and the politics
of location. Carbondale: Southern Illinois University Press, 2004.
(29) Elbow, Peter. Everyone Can Write: Essays Toward a Hopeful Theory
of Writing and Teaching Writing. New York: Oxford University
Press, 2000.
(30) Gardiner, J. H. The Forms of Prose Literature. New York: Charles
Scribner’s Sons, 1900 (Nabu reprint).
(31) Glaser, Joe. Understanding Style: practical ways to improve your
writing. New York: Oxford University Press. 1999.
262
(32) Graff, Gerald. Professing Literature: an institutional history. Chicago:
University of Chicago Press, 1987.
(33) Hawk, Byron. A Counter-History of Composition: toward
methodologies of complexity. Pittsburgh: University of Pittsburgh
Press, 2007.
(34) Herrington, Anne, Kevin Hodgson, Charles Moran (eds.)
Teaching the New Writing: technology, change, and assessment
in the 21st century classroom. New York: Teachers College Press,
2009.
(35) Herrington, Anne, Charles Moran (eds.) Genre across the
Curriculum. Logan Utah: Utah State University Press, 2005.
(36) Herrington, Anne, Charles Moran (eds.) Writing, Teaching, and
Learning in the Disciplines. New York: The Modern Language
Association of America, 1992.
(37) Hillocks, George, Jr. Teaching Writings as Reflective Practice. New
York: Teachers College Press, 1995.
(38) Hyland, Ken. Disciplinary Discourses: social interactions in academic
writing. Ann Arbor: University of Michigan Press, 2004 (2000).
(39) Kent, Thomas. Post-Process Theory: beyond the writing-process
paradigm. Carbondale: Southern Illinois University Press, 1999.
(40) Kinneavy, James. A Theory of Discourse. Englewood Cliffs, NJ:
Prentice-Hall, 1971.
(41) Miller, Susan (ed.). The Norton Book of Composition Studies. New
York: W.W. Norton & Co.,2009.
(42) Miller, Thomas P. The Evolution of College English: literary studies
from the puritans to the postmoderns. Pittsburgh: University of
Pittsburgh Press, 2010..
(43) Moffett, James. Detecting Growth in Language. Portsmouth NH:
Boyton/Cook Heinemann, 1992.
(44) Moffett, James. Teaching the Universe of Discourse. New York:
Boynton/Cook, 1987.
(45) North, Stephen M. The Making of Knowledge in Composition:
Portrait of an emerging field. Portsmouth NH: Boyton/Cook
Heinemann, 2000.
(46) O’Reilly, Mary. The Peaceable Classroom. New York: Boynton/Cook,
1993.
(47) Ohmann, Richard. English in America: A Radical View of the
Profession. New York: Oxford University Press, 1976.
(48) Pellegrino, Victor C. A Writer’s Guide to Powerful Paragraphs: 30
Ways Organize and Write Effective Paragraphs. Wailuku, Hawaii:
Maui ar Thoughts Co., 1993.
(49) Pellegrino, Victor C. A Writer’s Guide to Transitional Words and
Expressions. Wailuku, Hawaii: Maui ar Thoughts Co., 1987.
263
(50) Perl, Sondra, ed. Landmark Essays on Writing Process. Davis, CA,
USA: Hermagoras Press, 1994.
(51) Roen, Duane, Veronica Pantoja, Lauren Yena, Susan K. Miller, Eri
Waggoner. Strategies for Teaching First-Year Composition. Urbana
IL: National Council of Teachers of English, 2002.
(52) Russell, David R. Writing in the Academic Disciplines, 1870-1990: a
curricular history. Carbondale, Souther Illinois UP, 1991.
(53) Scholes, Robert. The Rise and Fall of English: Reconstructing a
discipline. New Haven: Yale University Press, 1998.
(54) Smit, Donald W. The End of Composition Studies. Carbondale:
Southern Illinois University Press, 2004.
(55) Strong, William. Sentence Combining: a composing book (3rd ed.)
New York: McGraw-Hill, 1994, 1983.
(56) Strong, William. Writer’s Toolbox: a sentence-combining workshop.
New York: McGraw-Hill, 1996.
(57) Tate, Gary, Amy Rupiper, and Kurt Schick. A Guide to Composition
Pedagogies. New York: Oxford University Press, 2001.
(58) Tate, Gary, Edward P.J. Corbett, and Nancy Myers. The Writing
Teacher’s Sourcebook. 3rd ed. New York: Oxford University Press,
1994.
(59) Trimble, John R. Writing with Style: Conversations on the Art of
Writing. Englecliffs, New Jersey: Prentice-Hall, Inc., 1975.
(60) Villanueva, Victor Jr. (ed.). Cross-Talk in Comp Theory: A Reader.
Urbana, Illinois: National Council of Teachers of English, 1997.
(61) Von Hallberg, Robert. Canons. Chicago: University of Chicago Press,
1984.
(62) Waddell, Maria L., Robert M. Esch, and Roberta R. Walker. The Art of
Styling Sentences: 20 Patterns for Success. 3rd ed. Hauppauge, NY:
Barron’s Educational Service, 1993.
(63) Zemliansky, Pavel and Wendy Bishop. Research Writing Revisited: a
sourcebook for teachers. Portsmouth NH: Boynton/Cook Heinemann,
2003..
Genre
1) Bakhtin, Mikhail. Speech Genres and Other Late Essays. Austin:
University of Texas Press, 1986.
2) Bawarshi, Anis S. and Mary Jo Reiff. Genre: An Introduction to
History, Theory, Research, and Pedagogy. West Lafayette: Parlor
Press, 2010.
3) Bazerman, Charles, Adair Bonini, & Débora Figueiredo. Genre in a
Changing World. West Lafayette: Parlor Press and Fort Collins:
WAC Clearinghouse, 2009.
4) Bishop, Wendy and Hans Ostrom, eds. Genre and Writing: issues,
arguments, alternatives. Portsmouth: Boyton/Cook Heinemann,
1997.
264
5) Johns, Ann M. Text, Role, and Context. New York: Cambridge
University Press, 1997.
6) Swales, John M. Research Genres: explorations and applications.
New York: Cambridge University Press, 2004.
7) Swales, John M. Genre Analysis: English in academic and research
settings. New York: Cambridge University Press, 1990.
8) Tardy, Christine M. Building Genre Knowledge. West Lafayette:
Parlor Press, 2009.
Valuable Writing Websites:

1) Harvard Guides for Writing http://is.gd/hAiOu
2) UMUC Online Guide to Writing and Research http://is.gd/hAj4i
265
266
Biographical Notes on the Authors
Richard Dowling, M.A.
Richard Dowling is an associate professor with the Asian Division of the
University of Maryland University College, where he has taught English
Composition, History, and Government courses in Asia for 20 years –
including Guam, Japan, and Australia for 20 years, with 15 of those years
in South Korea. He received a B.A. in History and Philosophy from
Wheeling University in 1966, and an M.A. in History from Duquesne
University in 1968. He also completed two years of doctoral work in History
at the University of Connecticut from 1968 to 1970. Subsequently, he
received a B.S. in English from the State University of New York in 1990,
and a permanent certificate to teach both English and Social Studies in
grade 7-12 from the State of New York in1991.
In 2008, he published his first book The Youth and Maturity of Humanity:
Interpreting American, Modern, and Impending Global History as One
Story. The book is available online.
He introduced the New Angle on Writing in a preliminary form (The Two
Hands Approach) at the KOTESOL conference in Daegu, South Korea in
October 2000 and again in a talk at a KOTESOL meeting in the spring of
2010.
He has taught this Approach for over 12 years.
Stephen D. Watson, M.Ed.

Stephen Watson has taught English at universities in Gumi and Daegu,
South Korea and in Guangzhou, China for more than 9 years. Prior to that,
he taught high school mathematics in Canada, Tanzania, and Guyana. He
also participated in the Arcosanti arcology project in Arizona, and he
contributed to greenbelt afforestation at Auroville in Tamil Nadu, India. He
has B.Ed. and B.A. degrees from Queen’s University in Kingston, Ontario,
Canada. He completed his M.Ed. in Teaching Second Languages from the
University of Southern Queensland, Australia in 2002.
He has written and illustrated a children’s book entitled Moss, the Bike-
Riding Mosquito, published in 2008 and available online.
He has also produced 4 musical CDs with songs under the artist name
stedawa. He plays guitar and sings all the songs on the 4 CDs, most of
which were written by him; additionally, he puts fine poems by other writers
to music. The 4 CDs are available online with the following titles: “in it for
the long haul”, “Peoples of the World – A New Day”, “Burst onto the
th
Scene”, and “Symphony of Song”. A Best Songs of… 5 CD will be out
soon.
267

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New Angle

Richard Dowling Stephen Watson

Large portions of this book are excerpted from Dowling and

Cover design and interior layout and graphics by stedawa

Black and white photos of nature, buildings, or objects by and

© 2010 Richard Dowling and Stephen Watson

Part 2 – Forms of the Paragraph and Essay

Final Free-Form Exam – Ss nominate 5

The 7 Coordinating Conjunction are ordered

That Which Whose order of

There is an interesting observation here:

SECOND Separating Semi-Colon

Three Punctuation Marks to Set Off

the whispers or very

After reading through the next 3 pages together, students can be

The triad charts can be read vertically as well as horizontally.

Prior to this, sentences had been numbered, as we see in Pico’s Dignity of

THE LOOK OR FORM OF THE PARAGRAPH

TYPES OF PARAGRAPHS (JOBS OF PARAGRAPHS)

CHARACTERISTICS OF GOOD PARAGRAPHS

Unity – there should be a single main idea around which the

Coherence – the clear presentation of the main supporting

Cohesion – the adhesion or proper and natural linkage of

In his excellent book A Writer’s Guide to Transitional Words and

Modern-day newspapers may appear to deviate from this rule, and

Students are instructed to compose and codify a short composition

By organizing and explaining the how to and the why of the

Initially, when we assigned students to write short paragraphs,

Then, once students completed learning and writing the 11

Below are 7 student essays written in response to the

Some instructors may feel no need to assign their students to

Finally, for this and subsequent assignments, we do not list

ESSAY PARAGRAPH Construction

WRITING AND REVISING PARAGRAPHS

WRITING AND RESOLVING PARAGRAPHS

In fact, Pellegrino has done for the paragraph exactly

Therefore, our book, the Pellegrino book, and the necessary

Once again, they should employ various sentence forms

Below is a second chart called The Writing Puzzle which

THE WRITING COURSE by Rosemarie Ciccariello

THE WRITING COURSE BY DANIEL S. BREGAGLIO

DEVELOPING AN ESSAY BY TANISHA L. BRUNS

Although most people will tend to disagree, writing is

1) 8RN Whatever supplemental

WRITING AS AN ART FORM BY JASON WOOLSEY

Writing is an art form. One doesn’t take an hour out of

THE FIVE STEPS OF THE WRITING PROCESS

THE WRITING COURSE by Betty Warren

IS THIS LOVE? by Matthew Ormita

HE NEVER KNEW HER BY JEFF WENRICH

THE DAY MY GRANDMOTHER DIED

TOUGH GUY by Tanisha L. Bruns

THE GRAND HIKE BY JOSHUA GATCOMB

JOSHUA TREE by Destiny S. Larberg

The lush and the terse are preferences

ADONIS BY RITA BENNETT

Sarah’s eyes popped open at the sound of an engine that

THAT OLD BUILDING BY DONOVAN E. CAPEL

TOWN SQUARE BY MATTHEW SAWYER

CHAIR BY KARL HENDRICKSON

WHAT SURFING DOES TO A SURFER

Sentence Forms (formspotting):

THE GREATEST VACATION EVER BY JEFF JACKSON