Pauly Hart Poems 1-500

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All works are copyrighted by paul (pauly) b. hart.

Unlawful use of poetry is forbidden.
Permission for use must first be obtained by author.
Author may be contacted at:
paulyhart@hotmail.com
paulyhart.com
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Poetry Works
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Trinity
(Once)
Where Trinity is,

Where Trinity roams,
That is where,
Trinity rules.
Perhaps you find yourself at Trinities feet.

Perhaps you find you are nowhere near.
It's when Trinity looks upon thee,
That's when Trinity bestows peace.
Trinity.
God in three.
Trinity.
God in Me.
Copyright 2003 by pauly hart
----------------------------------------------------------
Stories once read
Treading the pages of those forgotten books so long ago

I remember how it was playing with words and juggling sentences
I had a favorite book of my own and I would read it every night

My mother would help me with the large words and phrases
Curious George and Clifford the Big Red Dog were fun
My reading has turned me now to wider worlds and landscapes

Much larger than I could have ever imagined on my own
I feel disheartened and lonely when I cannot read anything
For my books are my friends and I love them all
I would do much more reading if I could have the time
You would think that I would get sick of reading

The idea is that once you get used to it you do it more
Sometimes this is true other times it is not
For I usually forget to read the most holy book
Whether seventy or one you have to agree
There is no other book that has changes as many lives
As the Bible has
-------------------------------------------------------
"99"
There I was and the ninety-nine

Stranded in the dark coal mine
Goitered and musty we
Filtered and lusty we
Unto the Shepherd do we call

Lord of wolves and waterfalls
I and the rest there
We had no rest there
Until the voice that was heard

By the one and the herd
He called us and we found
A place in his arms called found
The shepherd seeks after me

Even though I let the rest be
He finds me and breaks me
And in His arms takes me
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Blessed Comforter
(Even When I Don't Praise)
Even as you are sleeping away,

My Heart is watching over you.
The Sun rises and sets every day,
And my Mind guards and protects you.
Comforter, I am. To work aside you.
It's my chief desire to wash pride away.
Friend to the end. Give me the strength.
To make it through just one more day.
When the Lord scattered the wicked,

It was as the night snow. No flake the same.
Yet all doomed to melt away in the mornings light.
Why are you jealous of the wicked?
Don't you know that they die just like you?
Why waste your time on foolish things?
Know you not that you are my temple?
You are the temple of the Holy Ghost.
Don't be envious of the wicked.

You have the almighty living in you.
Praise be to the Lord our Savior and God,
Who bears our burdens the same.
Pouring out His grace on all mankind,
I, God, am a god who saves, heals and loves.
From me alone comes escape from death.
And even when you don't praise, I love you.
---------------------------------------------------------
Always Forever
In the right moment, God is still listening.

He is right here now, always so patient.
I know He loves me, Always forever.
He is my only, the one I can talk to.
Down in your spirit, God is still listening.

He takes His time, for the lost and afraid.
I know I love Him, right now and forever.
He is my best friend, the one I can talk to.
Always forever, God is still listening.

He wants you to hear Him,
and to get to know Him.
I know our love grows,
from communication.
He is my true love,
yes,
always forever.
-----------------------------------------------------
He lives, he loves
My one true love calls me home from

the heights of all passionate affection.
He calls me home to his fireside and he wishes
me to return to the place of his desire.
My master! My all, my everything! Lord!

The one I serve! My blood-kin! Brother!
My all in all! The wheel within the wheel!
He is all the family I ever need!
He is all I ever seek in this realm of existence!
He is the one pure thought. He is the pure light.
He is the true feeling. He is the voice.
He is living, loving, but never leaving.
He falls on me from the heights of heaven.
Holy hug, loving kiss, He is the one I've missed.
He calls out to me. Calling me home.
He loves me so freely. For I am his own.
He wishes me well the journey

to the place he has prepared by his fire.
He wishes me to return to him
and to the place of his never ending desire.
--------------------------------------------------------
Icthus in the midst
Lives long for something more

than just a wave on one small shore.
People strive to stay alive
and do so much more than criticize.
Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, still.
And people look for stupid thrills.
Thursday, Friday and we're still looking
for the next party to see what's cooking.
But Saturday and Sunday chills
Like he still lives inside a hill.
For it was man who put him there
screaming out "I just don't care!".
For what we need are grains of love
sent from someone high above.
What we look for all our lives
is a man called Jesus Christ.
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Jesus Northstar
Guide me ever onward Father

Touch me with your wondrous might
Pull me like you pull your compass
Treat me like you treat your children
Jesus Northstar, guide me onward
Electric Life, I'm charged with your love

Give me signs that I'm on course
Hold me, touch me with wholeness
Bring me closer to your fire
Store me in your life-sized wonder

Break me on your rocky shore
Hold me till the noon-tide washes
shield me in every way
Tighten jigs and pull them tautly

Batten hatches in my soul
Trim the sails and hold them steady
Pull me into life's' hard tide
Jesus Northstar, pull me ever
Jesus Northstar, your my light.
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Attribute to the attributes
Faith is faster than a light train

more loyal than a dog at night
sleeping at your feet
Destiny is smarter than an Einstein
more lovely than tender children
with sticky hands
Do you know how to speak the truth?
What is truth? a person is he.
Love is more agile than a hungry crocodile
more tender than an embarrassing moment
in a well known crowd
Hope is better than a good back rub
more happy than peanuts and hot-dogs
at a baseball game with dad
do you know how to show freedom
what is freedom? a person is he.
wonder is lighter than a goose down feather
more slap-happy than a sit-com
on evening t.v.
Death is more potent than a poisonous elixir
more gripping than a paperback
while baby sitting kids
Do you realize that all life dies?

Except the life that's in his eyes
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10
Love on the Lord
Verse one-
For God to reside in the depths of all men
then we must desist from the presence of sin
While we shouldn't decide what is best for our lives
Forever lets know, He's still on our side
Chorus-
Love on Him today
Let's love the only Way
Love Him over and over again
Verse two-
The meaning of life is loving the One
The Father in Heaven who sent us His Son
To love one another, and destroying pride
His love from above lights up my mind
Repeat Chorus-
Bridge-
And while we wait, He longs to talk
And light the way for our feet to walk
Chorus-
Verse One-
Repeat Chorus 2x
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11
This is my promise
This is my promise, these are my dreams.

Jesus still loves me, and He is still pleased.
He cares for us everyday, in the sun and in the shade.
And just like his promise, He never forsakes.
We are His people; flesh, bone, and blood.

We're watching the world spin, through Christ's holy love.
Santo, Santo Senior; mi amo y mi hermano.
You gave of your life blood, could I give more?
Father, Son, Spirit; Jesus my Lord.

Teacher and guider, the God I adore.
Be with me everyday, in the sun and in the shade.
And just like your promise, never forsake.
I love you Lord Jesus, yet more and more.

I love you my Spirit, I truly adore.
Father of all things, I put away all false dreams.
Elohim, YHWH; please show me the way.
The smell of the alter, the scent of His love.

The blood that now covers, through Gods holy Son.
He wants us to be with Him, and live with Him everyday.
Walking beside him, to never forsake.
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12
Strange Love
Strange love. Never dying.

Always living. Always breathing.
Feeling, pulsing. Beating, living.
Alive! The beauty now awakens in my soul!
Strange love.
A stranger love still...
of an innocent kill.
The terrible pain...
was His blood so spilled.
A love so strange...
as to say it chills.
My blood runs cold...

His wish, His will.
His long paid bill...
My heartbeat stills.
I know this Love...

This Love. His Love.
Stranger love has no man had

than he lay down his life for those
A friend to them who called him sad
They murdered him there, but this he knows
A stranger love has no man seen...

Than a stranger to sin who died for me.
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13
Various times
More often than not,

Have I ever once thought,
I would be in a place such as this.
And at various times,

With the wind through the chimes,
I could love you so much more than this.
Though you knew me the same,

Knew my faults and my gains,
Even the split hairs on my head.
I sure love you my Lord,

As the strings on a chord,
play your sweet tune in my head.
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14
Like a tree...
Like a tree...
Like the very topmost leaf
on a sturdy tree of your great love for me.
And so is my love for thee. Like a long grown limb
is our love my friend, and how I long to share it with you.
Like a yearling sap in a new plowed field, is the joy that I do
share when I yield. Like a giant, mighty oak in a winter glen
is the pain that I find with new friends. Like a summers hot
day is the caring ones' song that he shares in his special
way. Like a bowl full of fruit are the kindred ties held that
grow sweeter with lives sweetest juice. Like a lively
chipmunk are the joys we uncover while we
search for a lost treasure chest.
Like a mighty old trunk
are the ties
that do
bind us
to the
friend-
ship so
that we
have to
keep in
our mind
that it's He.
Like the roots of
a tree is the thing that we see
when we sing. Like the love between friends,
is love that won't end. Like a tree I'll wait till you come again.
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15
To die the death
Lord God omnipotent, All provider, redeemer,

Spirit Guider, Father Jehovah,
Your rainbow spills its pot of gold in my soul!
Jesus Almighty, my friend and my creed,
Be with me always in my time of need.
Oh Christ, oh my savior, your wondrous behavior,

of shedding your blood and sending your dove.
My bald head now sprouts hair!

My amputated arms grow!
My blotches dissolve, your power comes home!
My eyes that were weary and spotted now clear.
My dizziness dissolves, my deaf ears now hear.
Though I jog through the snow I will find,
Your true love sings while I stand blind.
My eyes are weary from seeking you long,
Fill my heart now, with your sweet tender song.
Though my fingers do snap, and my mind now collapse.

I reach towards you, with all that I grasp.
I, actually, now that I think about it...

I think that I would die for you.
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16
Love over (reprise)
When I was a little boy,

I played with my little toys.
But now I'm as old as a house,
And my skin is as gray as a mouse.
My teeth that were strong are now dead,
And my hair is a wisp on my head.
Love over. And over. Love come over.
Sherlock Holmes and H.G. Wells.
The Bible sits upon its dusty shelf.
Four thousand questions, no answers.
I blew away all odds and chances.
But now I'm old and understand.
The face connected to the hands.
Love over. And over. Love over.
Single days turned into ill spent weeks.
Thunder rolled, and lightning streaked.
The murder stains on my heart now dry.
As conscience kills the intentions I imply.
Love come over my life, for it's slipping away.
Love come over, and we'll dance the night away.
Love over.
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17
Strange family
Listen and know

My spirit will grow
When I find the home
That is my own
Jesus and joy

Feed into my heart
When heaven begins
My love truly starts
I just want a home

I just want some kids
To hold me a wife
And be close to kin
Strange families will try

To be 'round the norm
But what do I care
I will not perform
I know Jesus hears

I've heard my Lords prayers
In my life peace will settle
He will soothe all my cares
-----------------------------------------------------
18
Summer Sunshine
Play hours all day sun; play, play, play.

In the summer sun, warm and shiny.
Summer sunshine, summer funshine.
Smiles and glistens, warm and friendly.
Shimmer and glimmer, warm and nice.
Hot and funny, play sun, play.
Play on lakes, and play with shade.
Play with ice in lemonade.
Cheery and happy, careless and free.
Warm summer sunshine, come play with me.
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19
Away in a manger
Away in a manger no crib for a bed,

The little boy Jesus lay down his sweet head.
The stars in the sky looked down where he lay,
The little boy Jesus asleep in the hay.
He grew up a small boy, both sinless and pure,

The holy-one Christ-child an angry worlds cure.
He was pure and holy the Bible does say,
Though hated and murdered, he still did obey.
He walked along seashores and deserts as well,

He paid for our sorrows and saved us from hell.
Humble and submissive he knew Fathers will,
To be Israel's scapegoat his blood must be spilled.
With blood, sweat, and tears he gave so much more,

He took the diseases of the lost and the poor.
Humilities secret he laid down his life,
To seek and save a world so lost in its strife.
Away in a manger, Messiah was born.

He hung on a cross, both bloodied and torn.
The little boy Jesus did lay down his life.
To bring peace and freedom and take away strife.

First stanza by Martin Luther
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20
worshipping
I will worship the Father that made me.

I will worship the maker of light.
I will bow before the Great Spirit.
I will lay down my life.
And with my heart placed upon

Your alter of mourning
And with my arms bound behind
My back is breaking
And with my head in the noose
of your love
I'll hang myself high
So the fools will think
that I'm wise
I willingly wreck my ego-casts.

I drool incense on your feet.
You spit in my eyes and call me well.
You cleanse me Lord.
And I thought I was the fool.

But you are a fool for me.
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21
Small eyes
Open thine eyes

and see the One
destined to be
the flower from tree
the water from spring
the song from bird
the voice from lips
the light from morning
the break from dawn
the horizon from dusk
the honey from bee
the strength from lion
the perfectness from He
for it is the He
who opens your eyes
your eyes to see
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22
Blasted
Are you really that ready for a time of great peace,

or do you really want to go to war for it?
Are you really that ready for a life filled with sweat,
And do you really want to go to heaven yet?
Are you really that ready for the earths' sonic end?
And do you want to start it all over again?
I see my footprints blasted by your fires night.

I see an order in chaos' blight.
I see all darkness transfused into light
I see dark souls lifted in faith from fright
I see my path leading towards Heavens heights
Blasted, now blasted, now blasted again

My soul is set free from the blasting of sin.
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23
The Choice
12 men keeping on with something they know right.

12 old tribes trying to win some kind of fight.
40 days and nights he wept for a lost and hurt world.
40 days and nights it rained cleansing a lost world.
7 days was the time it took to build the humans home.
4 faces and 2 wheels each and 7 layers of gold.
3 who knew and 3 who cared and 3 who understood.
1 man true, both just and good, 1 man only stood.
1 man caught, within his heart, daring to play the fool.
1 man you, and only you, are the only one to choose.
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24
Compilation
For a light to shine in the darkness,

There must first be a light in the darkness.
Come all you weary and heavy laden,

Lay your burdens beside me.
I will give you comfort for all your afflictions,
Just lay your head on me.
This is the real me.

Can't you accept me the way I am?
This is the only me.
I didn't come in a packaged can.
There is only one of me.
I'm growing up as fast as I can.
This is the real me.
Accept me while you have the chance.
Whispers of a shadow land

...come slip away
Dreamers in a lonely land
...falling all the way
Reality is held in his hand
...don't make a mistake
There is one Christ the lamb
...please don't disobey
This is the way love is: T.I.M.E.
This is the way it's not: M.I.N.E
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25
His house
Expand your imagination,

open up your heart
Open up your concentration,
it's not all that hard
Give up all your inner pride,
and let Jesus in
One simple truth is,
He's your only true friend
Father to the hurt,
and home to the beggar
He loves you now today,
both now and forever
Draw a little door,
on the doorway of your soul
Open up and let him in,
to call your house his home.
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26
The cost of discipleship
To be a disciple:
I must first love the Lord,
and always be a slave to him.
I must read His word daily,
and always obey, and submit.
I must always bear fruit,
until He harvests it.
Also remember to:

Mature in Him and make others to see.
Model myself after his earthly works.
Mutual faith and spread love to others.
Multiply in the ways of kindness.
Manifold fruits and gifts should show.
Minister Jesus and his life power.
Marriage. I am his bride, stay pure.
And as with every hard thing,
it begins one step at a time.
I will conquer the self that hates Him.
I will conquer my flesh.
-----------------------------------------------------
27
For everything...
For every string that is tied down.
Another string is loosed somewhere.
For every man in battle gown.
Someone is broken two in prayer.
For every wrong there is a right.
For every day there is a night.
And every sinner who can't cope.
There is a God, there is a hope.
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28
The woman's' kiss is not to be desired above our masters
There is only one woman in this world for me.

She's the only woman who does it for me,
Only. She is the only one woman,
Only. And I am only her man.
Jesus. I find your truthful love.

Jesus. It's just you that I love.
Jesus. Send this woman to me.
Jesus. She'll see Jesus in me.
Lord, I surely need a woman. Just as

much as I need a hole in the head.
Lord, all I need is you.
All I desire is your tender kisses.
Lord God and Father and maker of all.

Take out my life, Lord put away Paul.
Burn me completely, Lord burn me to death.
Chastise me with your most wondrous breath.
I don't need a woman I only need you.

I don't want a person to be above you.
I don't want a girl or a sexual ploy.
I do need your friendship and love to enjoy.
A person is one thing, but you are more real.

A wife nagging me and sometimes surreal.
I don't not like women, I enjoy them much.
But as for now, you are all. I don't need a crutch.

So I want your love Lord, I want it pure.
I want your love, Lord strongly endure.
Lord surely you love me and I love you too.
So I'll kiss you my Jesus, because I love you.
Kiss me Father, kiss me again.

Tell me I'm your closest friend.
Love me Spirit, love me once more.
Love me the way that children adore.
Just like the way you did it before.

Pour out your life, I'm yours forevermore.
Use me, chastise me, rebuke me again.
Do to me only, please do it again.
Holy and spotless and pure in your sight.

Visions of halos now dance in the light.
True holiness, True peace is what I desire.
Fill me up Lord with your burning fire.
-----------------------------------------------------
29
Heap the coals, send the fire
Heap the coals and burn in me.

Send the fire and consume me.
One by one, your deep desires
Shall blaze in me like holy fire.
Lord, take me from life's rocky clefts.
Destroy me till there's nothing left.
Refiners fire so I won't break.
Take me, break me, mold and shape.
Precious Lord, so holy and pure.
Precious Jesus you are my cure.
Send the fire oh, precious dove.
Turn me towards your tender love.
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30
Trinity
(Twice)
Trinity in me.
Trinity is three:
God enthroned.
God enfleshed.
God empowered.
I cannot worship others,

While Trinity is Lord.
I cannot serve another,
It's Him that I adore.
Where Trinity is,

That is where,
Trinity rules.
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31
We are voices
We are voices
whispering, screaming.
Nameless voices,
crying out for love.
Listlessly, relentlessly,
dexterously climbing,
treading the surface,
wanting the outpour.
Breathe on us...
we cry at night.
Heal our land,
we face our fright.
We are the voices
whispering, dying,
treading the surface.
Breathe on us...
we cry, we cry.
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32
Intention
Oh well, I tried not,

to fight the claim of my election.
Somehow passing life,
and took rejection.
trudging through the dark,
and found illusion.
I was all but dead,
but I claimed protection.
He took my life,
and gave me redemption.
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33
I Run With You
Oh Lord God...
My passion breaks forth the lusts of my youth for you.
Help me to win as many as I can.
To take hold of those I can't.

To strengthen and uplift and give praise to your name.
I pray.
Lord God...
The sparrows flight of righteousness.
I pray straightness in my days.
I seek to grasp that which I cannot attain.

But with you, I must and will.
You High Shepherd, are chief among these hills.
You are Highlander forever.
I run with you, but when I am weak; carry me.
I faint Lord,
Hold me and carry me forward.
I long for the sweet abyss of your love.

Lost in foreverness.
True to my heart.
Never depart.
For thine is the kingdom.
Amen.
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34
Of Clay and Purity
Change my Heart oh God,

make it ever true.
Change my Heart oh God,
May I be like You.
You are the potter,
Turn my heart to clay.
You are the sculptor, You, I will obey.
You are a friend and You are a brother.
Even though You are my King.
You are my one hearts longing desire.
Not compromised with anything.
I love you much more than any other.
So much more than anything.
Of Clay I will ask you to mold of me Jesus.
A small vessel to do your will.
Of Purity refine my mind and intentions.
Turn my heart to seek your will.
Format and arrangement copyright 2000 by pauly

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35
Love my heart
Love runs the deepest for my heart

As deep as my love is for His heart
Is not as deep as my love for mine
And the love placed above His love
Shall be loved far above the love of His love
But in the finish it is His love
That shall cast my love down
And send my love to Hell
And me with it
But is this love?

True love is my
love for His love
nix on my love
I give you all
-----------------------------------------------------
36
Privilege
And as many as cast him down
He shall rise to face again
Though many cast him down
He takes on all mighty blows
For as many as cast him down
He will rise to come again
Save one who casts him down
and that one who lives inside
For when that one casts him down
He shall lay prostrate on the ground

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37
No, it's my pleasure
Take from this tree all that can be

I give it up to you in submission
Glean from it's branches
Take all it gives
Use it in a way that is worthy
Really, I insist
Cut it up if you wish
Cord it out for fire
So that you may keep warm
It's no problem at all
Take from it every necessity
And even it's fruit is yours
It doesn't matter
It's only my soul
It's only my love
-----------------------------------------------------
38
A sweet incantation
to my beloved Lord and King
What sweeter rapture

What glory and wonder
Who compares with Him?
What majesty is folded

what holiness is mixtured
Who can look in his face?
What beauty is gifted

What music is lifted
Who declares His name?
What light is ribboned

What forgiveness given
Who can dare speak His grace?
Him, He who was and is

He, who is to come.
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39
These questions and more. . .
How can a man be born again?

How can a man be cleansed from sin?
When is eternal life?
What is the power in Jesus' blood?
Where is Heaven and why is Hell?

Why do we say that time will tell?
Baptism. What is it? Exactly?
Then why are there three of them?
These questions and more are rooted within.
A god called Jesus died for me?

He left comfort and peace for me for free?
How is glory calling out my name?
So why must I have true repentance?
A thing called hate, is opposed to love?
Where exactly are Angels up above?
Are you the only life to live?
Must I forsake my all and start the dance?
You knock at my heart... so won't you come in?
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40
Joshua ben Joseph
Lord, you are to me so much more than silver.

Lord, you are to me so much more than jewels.
Lord, I appreciate the blessings you have given.
Lord, I appreciate your choice as for myself.
God, I wonder at your creation and your works.

God, I wonder how much longer it is until your return.
God, I love the way you make me smile sometimes.
God, I love you and everything about you.
Spirit, I adore you, and I lay my life before you.

Spirit, I adore your presence and your power too.
Spirit, I need so much more than this flesh-suit.
Spirit, I need your gifts, but so much more your fruits.
Father, I rejoice that in my driest desert, you are there.

Father, I rejoice at the wonderful miracles that you perform.
Father, I proclaim your miraculous signs and wonders.
Father, I proclaim that all you do is for our own good.
Holy One, I admire your purity in all that you say and do.
Holy One, I admire your patience with every time I sin.
Holy One, I desire your dignity and the way you are so nice.
Holy One, I desire to show your love and joy to all the earth.
Jesus, I cherish the way that your fulfilling your promises.

Jesus, I cherish the way that we can so easily receive you.
Jesus, I relish to make this Earth more you-conscience.
Jesus, I relish the idea of being more and more like you.
Oh Lord God, I desire to be strong in these last days.

Oh Spirit of the Father, I desire to show your great strength.
Oh Holy One Jesus, I'll offer my world to you in the end.
Jesus, all I really want is you. Jesus, all I need is to be true.
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41
Today...
Today... now half gone... speaks loudly in my ear.

Achieve this... perceive that... is the song I clearly hear.
Yesterday... I remember how clear it seemed...

In six inch rule... and one inch margin bleeds...
Thought you would... I knew you could...
And so far... you should...
Today is not tomorrow... and...
Yesterday is not the rest of the week...
Seven days without prayer...
Really makes one... weak...

I wish I were young again...
But I'm not... I'm this age for a... reason...
It's funny... when looking back...
So much seemed to... pass me by...
How I wish... I would never age...
But it would probably be boring...
I used to think that... I was born...
In the wrong era of history...
Not anymore... I'm much more thankful...
For being alive at all... Today...
Copyright ...2000 by pauly
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42
Towards Heaven
we must grow
There is a serene
difference between
childishness and
living your life to
the fullest. Maturity
brings the growth
which brings life.
Faking it is never
as good as the real
stuff. If we never
overcome the little,
the big will trample
us. The feelings we
have towards the
rest of life; courage,
commitment, and
confidence are the
real things. Cowardice,
casualness, and
corruption are the
phonies. To win in
Jesus takes all the
tenacity you can
muster. If we give
an inch each day,
we will go further
than the man who
tries to do the mile in
one jump. The one
who wins is not the
fastest, but the one
who perseveres.
Towards Heaven
we must grow.
Copyright 2003
by pauly
-----------------------------------------------------
43
To fly
Isn't it wonderful?
A bird flies.
A crow cries,
and all my life just dies,
as Christ lives,
and I give,
and all my gifts seem despised.
As I kill, then He will,
and He fills
me up each day.
My soul flies,
and my spirit within
does rise.
Just as I am
without one plea,
but that His blood was shed for me.
-----------------------------------------------------
44
You still do, so can I too?
Sometimes it's like a fence brought up in the night.

Sometimes it's like a lion bound tightly in a cage.
Sometimes it's like a monolith looming up in sight.
Sometimes it's like a tyrant showing off his rage.
For when life can be so wrongfully misunderstanding.

For when life takes you up and grinds you underfoot.
For when life tackles you when you have the ball.
For when life tears you up and burns you like a book.
It's when He takes His burly arms and shows his strength.
It's when He shows you what it's like to be His child.
It's when He gives you what you need when you are weak.
It's when He wraps His cloak about you, so you can stand.
And He still battles for the cause that is not lost.

And He still wears His holy armor like a knight.
And He still wins His every battle like the cross.
And He still gives you faith to walk by, not by sight.
Now will you know that He still loves you for who you are?
Now will you realize that Jesus is your own best friend?
Now will you finally see that He's the one holy and true?
Now will you overcome like He did in the final end?
Lord, can I see your face like Jesus did and live?
Lord, can you touch my heart and cleanse me from all sin?
-----------------------------------------------------
45
The confrontation of conniption.
what you can gain in a lifetime
you can lose in a moment
what you can see in the morning
you can lose in the night
what someone can talk you into
some one can talk you out of
and what you can accept in emotion
you can lose in logic
-----------------------------------------------------
46
Scarred Face
It's your saving grace

That comes over me
It's your loving face
That's all I see
It's your hiding place
That I run to
It's your love, your love, your love.
It's my face
That scares the children
It's my laugh
That makes them scream

It's my love
That makes me famous
It's my love, my love, my love.
I will come
To you my lover
I will come
To you tonight
I will climb in
To your garden
I will come, will come, will come.
No one could you like me

You cannot hide from me
I will come unto thee
When the night comes to the trees
-----------------------------------------------------
47
Heart cry of the missionary

(Dedicated to YWAM)
I offer up to You my God,

A living sacrifice.
All I am and have to give,
Oh Lord, even my life.
I will not bow, I will not flinch,
Your call I will embrace.
To tell the whole world of your love,
And never ending grace.
Teach me now my Lord and King,
To walk the narrow way.
And to die unto myself,
Each and every day.
Copyright unknown otherwise copyright 2000 by pauly
-----------------------------------------------------
48
Prayer of Saint Ambrose
O God,
I who presume to invoke Thy Holy Name,
stand in the presence
of Thy Divine Majesty:
have mercy upon me,
a man:
a sinner smeared
by the foulness of inherent impurity;
forgive the unworthy priest
in whose hand this oblation
is seen offered:
Spare O Lord one polluted by sins:
in faults the foremost,
in comparison to all others,
and do not enter into judgment
with Thy servant,
for no one living is justified
in Thy sight.
It is true
that we are weighed down
in the faults and desires of our flesh:
Remember,
O Lord,
that we are flesh
and there is no other source of help than Thee.
Yeah,
in Thy sight
not even those in Heaven
are much more cleansed
than we earthly humans,
of whom,
as the Prophet Isaiah said
of all our righteous acts:
we are in comparison
as unworthy as a menstrual rag.
O Jesus Christ,
let us live.
O Thou Who dost not
will the death of a sinner:
Grant forgiveness unto us
whom Thou hast established in flesh,
so that by penitential acts
we may come
to enjoy eternal life
in the Heavens,
through our Lord Jesus Christ
Who reigneth with Thee
and the Holy Spirit
throughout all ages of ages.
Public Domain
-----------------------------------------------------
49
Winding Intelligent Never Dying... W.I.N.D.
Down the quiet street,

The wind slowly crept,
Easing its way down,
Through those old,
Colonial houses.
The wind spoke
Of an ancient time.
Timeless winds,
Of ancient ones,
Breathing mysteries.
Although changed and polluted,

These winds still blow.
The same ones that blew
In the garden,
With the serpent and the son.
Strange winds reveal things.

My youth. My ignorance.
My uncreative decadence.
Vindictive hot winds
Searing my hardened face,
Turning me to sand.
Oh ancient winged servant;

What have you seen?
What do you know?
Where have you been?
And do you return there soon?
The winds know not change...

But smell, temperature,
Humidity, pollution, pollen content,
Oxygen, Nitrogen, Halogen.
And various dust particles.
Unrelenting, untrusting,
Undermining, undenying,
Unexuberating, unreaching,
Wind, Wind, Wind,
WIND, WIND!
Most knowledgeable of
All gaseous forms...
You, breath of God,
Blew the first of
These small winds.
Tornado, Hurricane, Vortex spinning

Dust devil, Waterspout, Tsunami,
High Pressure, Low Pressure,
Cold Front, Heat Wave, Wind.
God, show your winds

to be all that you would
have them to be...
an elemental force,
in your wonderful creation.
-----------------------------------------------------
50
Trinity
(Thrice)
In Trinity is three,
Divinity in me,
Three part and fold,
All parts in Gold.
For Trinities' life,

For Trinities' love,
I would give all,
of my life and love.
Trinity in three.
Trinity in me.
God in me.
Where Trinity is,

That is where,
Trinity rules.
-----------------------------------------------------
51
Your heart versus Gods heart
What is the heart of man?

What is your heart?
Where is your heart at?
Where is your heart directed?
Where is your heart going?
Why does your heart beat?
Who does it beat for?
Does God search your heart?
Does your heart beat with his?
Does his heart beat for you?
When has God ever had your heart?
When have you ever had Gods heart?
Your heart versus Gods heart.

Whose heart will win?
-----------------------------------------------------
52
Desperation
It seems that every time I find someone that I feel I could care about,
there is always something in the way. It seems that I am always the one who gets crushed,
and brushed aside, like some medieval diseased leper or something.
I always come out crushed. And depressed.

I want to find a way to get these feelings to stop haunting me. Any way possible.
I've been in love only twice, and I screwed my one and only relationship that I thought would
last forever.
All I want is for someone to be there for me. To care for me as I would care for them.
I want my life to end at times. I am beginning to think that I will be alone forever.
With no one to love me. No one to become my mate.
Written at the New Planet Café’

-----------------------------------------------------
53
How
Operation: How
"Need to know" basis
Codename: Why
Gods Secret Plans For My Life-
I don't get it God...
Why are you so determined to make me a success?
When I feel like such a failure?
-----------------------------------------------------
54
Fasting
Realization will come

As I hold on tightly
Tightly till my knuckles
Turn white with intensity
Realization will crash
Like a million year tidal
When it comes on my head
I will cry with satisfaction
Yearning and burning

And pushing the line
Burning and learning
And feeling the drive
Learning and yearning
And pushing my climb
I'm destroying myself
Like a faucet
Set to drip
For eternity
I won't stop
Till my prayers
Are answered
Destination will call

As I cling intently
Intently till my hands
Bleed with the pressure
Conjugation will crumble
Like the tsunami of old
When it burns in my soul
I will sigh with relief
Pushing and crying

And holding the cord
Crying and striving
And calling the Lord
Striving and pushing
All in accord
I'm destroying my dreams
Like the widow

Crying aloud
To the Judge
I will plead
Till my case
Is closed
----------------------------------------------------
55
Barren Land
So here I stand in the wilderness

of another place.
I stand this ground
as a foreigner on strange soil.
But none have been meant
to roam these lands as I.
It is their world, their place, their time.
The wind... I feel it breathing.

Whispering secrets of another mans home.
So here I am and here I stand (alone).
A foreigner in another mans land.
Earth, wind, rain and fire.

I hear the melody lifted higher.
I feel the wind and I feel the sand.

The remnant of this barren land.
I wish my dreams could become true.
Lord, let this land begin anew.
----------------------------------------------------
56
Thank the god
Long, long ago before the earth was made,

god chose us as his own- he knew the price to be paid.
He decided on perfection flawless and pure,
We stand before him covered with his love for sure.
His unchanging plan has always been to adopt us,
Into the family of him by his son Christ Jesus.
He did this 'cause he wanted to: Praise the god for it.
For his loving kindness so sweet: Praise the god for it.
Favor and compassion he poured on us one.
Because we belong to his kindness
he took our sins away.
So overflowing in his kindness he took our sins away.
Through the blood of his son by whom we are saved.
He showered down on us his amazing grace.
Because he knows what's best for us in every place.
Thank the god: God.
-----------------------------------------------------
57
Hi, call me trampled

I saw her sitting
Hiding softly behind her book
Her big brown eyes fluttered
Looking my way
Last night she was with him

The one they call Nick
With her promises broken
She looks away
-----------------------------------------------------
58
Victorious is He
With God... nothing is impossible.

Nothing is incredible,
nothing is unstoppable.
And with God, everything is possible.
Everything is workable.
Everything is doable.
When we don't believe his word is true,
Don't believe he died for me,
don't believe he died for you,
Then we stop Gods work for everyone,
Stop it up don't let it run,
killed before it has begun.
But when we stand up and take root in him.
Never doubting, never give.
Never let our eyes see sin.
Then we show the world who is the boss,
paid the debt, paid the cost,
hung upon the ugly cross.
Then God can work his mighty deeds once more.
Choose his life, tally the score,
throw the devils out the door.
And God can perfect his work in us,
He sent his holy son Jesus,
that we might live victorious!
With God nothing is impossible,
nothing is incredible,
nothing is unstoppable.
-----------------------------------------------------
59
Indy near Indy
Rejoice!
The bombs that burst
do not do so
in vengeance
but so much as in love
They collide with hope
they destroy in joy
what a paradox
Rejoice!
The arrows that fly
do not do so
in recrimination
but so much as in peace
They pierce with joy
they kill with a smile.
what a paradox
Rejoice!
Rejoice!
I hate this holiday sometimes

I look forwards to it as well
what a paradox
let us celebrate freedom

not war
Rejoice!
-------------------------------------------------------
60
Jesus take my pain away
Jesus take my wretched soul

Pour me out and make me whole
Sever lust and worldly spires
Give me pure and whole desires
Splice and amputate my hardness

Make me perfect in your sight
Make me Lord a sane reflection
Not by power, nor by might
Measure out a holy portion
Measure out my unclean heart
Take me, break me, mold and shape me
Bring me to the light from dark
-----------------------------------------------------
61
Mindgearschurning
If you are what you are,

then do you insist on trying
to be someone else entirely?
If life for you is just living,
then why do you insist in finding,
something new to do consistently?
And why am I so bored?
Why is there no room in life for the
things that are important?
Only for the urgent, the screaming
and for the entertaining.
Things that actually matter are pushed
away like an unwanted step-child.
Things that have no bearing whatsoever
in the face of eternity, get done first.
Why was it a cross?
And why was it 33 AD?
why not the 1500's?
Why not now?
Why not a guillotine?
Why not 1,000 BC
Why not a burning at a stake?
And why not now?
Why not electrocution?
Why not here?
Why not now?
Why not me?
-----------------------------------------------------
62
Someone. Somewhere.
I was on the edge of anywhere

and I stood motionless before
a sea of tortuous thought and hate
seething, pulsing, breathing.
All I had to do was fish.
But I resisted the urge of death.
"Anywhere but anywhere", I cried out.
And He took my hand
and led me to a somewhere.
I'm just a no-one

trying to tell any-one
about a some-one
who loves every-one.
-----------------------------------------------------
63
Forever How
Forever how it must hurt you

as you sit upon your bed
I know what you have read
As you look out of your window
Forever how it does move me

to open up my mail
and find a letter there
that's addressed from you to me.
Forever how it excites me!

to hear of your adventures
My missionary sister
sailing round the world
Forever how it must make you

feel his mighty power
as you sit and watch for hours
As the sun plays on the sea.
Forever our lives do go on

year by passing year
we've cried our parting tears
But we stay in fellowship
Forever time marches slowly

thinking as it goes
She will never know
How much she means to me
I just got a letter

She's married with three kids
Working in a mission
In the heart of Africa
I read it so slowly
Crying as I go
And deep inside I know
We will be friends...
Forever.
-----------------------------------------------------
64
Mad poet
inspired by the works of Steven R. Lawhead
Mad poet. Mad moment. Mad madness. Delirious.

My frothing reveals my emptiness.
God.
I need God.
I need Him now more than ever before I need Him.
Long song of my life.
Points of contemplation. Suicide. A quick end.
But I know it cannot be.
Not now.
Not ever.
Immortal. A quirk of birth? A tribute to my father?
Oh wolf, happy wolf, monarch of these green-clad hills.
You are my only friend.
Black is the hand of Heaven.
Blue and black.
and filled with
frozen stars.
And stars and stars and
stars. . . and stars.
Where is the swift sure goodly-wise one Tegid?
Llew? Is that you silver hand?
Uther! The fool! He would have killed him!
Orion?
Oh sorrowful Orion! Emperion Orion!
I am lost.
Atlantis. . . is. . . lost.
Mother. . . I tried.
Mad Merlin . . . mad . . . you are mad Merlin . . . mad.
-----------------------------------------------------
65
True friends
I have three friends
who were there
when everyone else
wanted to study.
Tim was there

with soap.
With Dave
with love.
And Jason
with a smile.
I have three friends

who were there
who washed my feet
while I cried.
-----------------------------------------------------
66
Continent
(hungry world)
Antarctica. . . An island of
icebergs and Researchers.
Australia. . . An island of
surfing and Aboriginals.
America S. . . An island of
prejudice and Catholics.
Africa. . . An island of
triumph and Tribals.
Asia. . . An island of
mystery and Spiritualists.
Europe. . . An island of
fashion and Revolutionists.
America N. . . An island of
hypocrisy and Blasphemers.
-----------------------------------------------------
67
Goodbye
Oh, for life so sweet,

A precious memory never to last.
At the end so sudden we meet,
The life we shared is gone and past.
But for a fragrance, a short lived life,
We lived it out, the mountains climbed.
But sorrow passes by me, they do buy,

Foreverness waving on clouds of tears now.
The mists of life still pass you by,
You have forgotten why you came, and how.
Depart we must, but wait one bit,

Hold on please one second yet.
I'll sing my secret song with you,
I'll sing to you a sweet ado.
I loved you, and I loved you true.
Goodbye forever, 'twas nice for a while,

But each must go their own long mile.
To secret places there they join,
With ancient words till now forgotten.
"Goodbye" I cry, upon these waving years,

I shall never forget your scarlet tears.
Grow my child in your own true way,

Never deny the only true way,
This road, destroyed. Never to be repaved.
-----------------------------------------------------
68
hypersOul
but the wOrd is alive

and alive is the wOrd
existing existing existing
inside the mind and if shamelessly i shOuld
turn and fall upOn these Hands
weathered and stained
with hOpe and prOmise
i will stand
lift up yOur trOubled sOul healed before yOur eyes
lift up yOur hOly hands
lift them up
in the name Of
the authOr Of faith legend demigOd
mOrtal life is never enough
saviOr messiah
ripped the revOlutiOn
ready tO bleed with lOve
ready tO feel
ready tO love
withOut fear lOve is perfect
lOve is gOd
i surrender and is invincible
i rescind
take the fetters
keeping me in
cOpyright by mOrtal
fOrmat by pauly
-----------------------------------------------------
69
I remember
I remember Erin and Ted.

I remember Fletch and Alex.
I remember Roxanne and Wesley.
I remember Dawn and Bill.
I remember Colin and Dulce'.
I remember James and Dennis.
I remember Sarah and Christian.
I remember Adam and Travis.
I remember Alice and Susan.
I remember Lisa and Jason.
I remember Sammy and Missy.
I remember Nyleen and Christian.
I remember Joy and Nealy.
I remember a cloudy day.
I remember tears rolling down my cheeks.
I remember waving goodbye as you drove off.
I remember seeing your note.
I remember my brother Tim.
I remember the black and blue eye.
I remember Lonnie and Ted.
I remember the look on their faces.
I remember regret and secret love.
I remember Monopoly and forgiveness.
I remember something I forgot.
I remember loss.
I remember friends.
I remember you.
-----------------------------------------------------
70
"X" means
X means I'm a sinner saved by grace.
X means that there's a choice to make.
X means no more of my old life.
X means I've been bought with a price.
X means He took my ticket to Hell.
X means my sins are taken as well.
X means Gods stamp on my life.
X means Jesus took all my strife.
X means life.
X means the cross.
-----------------------------------------------------
71
...feeling and shut
Lazy hands make lazy work

Lazy feet and lazy play.
Lazy, lazy I feel so lazy.
Lazy's how I feel today.
Sunburnt and lazy. Sleepy and tired.

I'm sublime and quiet today.
Lazy face and lazy hands.
Lazy kings and lazy lands.
I can almost hear the bumblebees.

They are humming over the meadow.
Eyelids shut. My jaw hangs down.
Lazy, lazy days.
I cannot move.
I am too slow.
I feel so lazy.
The feeling never leaves.
I look at those poor tired old bees.

My hair is cut short.
It does not want to grow.
It is too lazy.
My beard is long.
My sword is sharp.
My sword is drawn.
But I am so lazy.
I am too lazy.
Too lazy today.
-----------------------------------------------------
72
You need more of it
My poor dog Spot has more happiness than you do,

and he's just a quadruped.
He lives and breathes and eats and barks
and occasionally gets fed.
My dumb cat Tabby is more relaxed than you are,

and she's the mother of twelve.
She howls and growls and spits and hisses
and lives through children hell.
My catfish Bob has more hope than you do,

sitting in my tank.
It knows it's lunch for a party of three someday,
without so much as thanks.
My turtle Fred has more faith than you do,

living in his mobile home.
Wishing and praying for a bug to pass by,
living his life alone.
My rhinoceros Suzzy has more love than you do,

sitting in it's cage.
Seething and . . . Oh!
Listen!
You really need to shape up! Stop being stupid!

God wants to help you, and to fill you with his Holy Spirit!
Get with the program dude! You need more of it!
-----------------------------------------------------
73
Evangelist
Evangelist, Evangelist.
Come blow your horn.
is stuck on porn.
Take all our funds.
Is on the run.
Evangelist.
Blow in.
Evangelist.
Blow up.
Evangelist.
Blow out.
Who cleans up your mess,

Oh mighty Evangelist?
--------------------------------------------------------
74
The bloodied path

(thoughts in a tunnel part one)
Forward tracks my feet trod on

Drawing me close to my lost home
I hear a hawk up in the sky
I feel my soul now start to fly
I walk this road, travel this path
And sometimes think of turning back
I will climb, climb, forevermore
Along this path, this lonely shore
For one is there, He walks with me
He is the Christ, Infinity
Loose-knit threads unravel slow

Birds of happiness sing too low
Deep depression feeds and grows
Inside my soul like a fungus mold
Bruised and battered, scorched and hurt

I stumble through the miry dirt
Dragging on, my feet now bleed
Picking songs are picking weeds
I'll sing for you, I'm still in pain
I'll bring the truth, I'll stop the train
I'm ready now to stand for you
I'm ready now to play the fool
Forward so slow, The distance grows

I'm cut and now the blood does flow
I'll start the show, I'll be the one
Your glory to earth, is now forth come

Winds of life that suck and blow
Suppression now begins to show
The slimy fungus, recedes and slows
I'll walk the wire, my shoes won't slip

The lightning cracks now like a whip
It's life or death the pit screams out
I shudder now with every doubt
I grab my staff and thunder blows

I feel the surge and my heart grows
I feel the awen and hear the cry
The Lord, he swoops down from the skies
Least of the least not worthy, no

But cross the bridge is where I'll go
And over still I tumble down
I live for you though I may drown

revealing pain and burning snow
The road I travel, It leads to you
Please lead me Lord and pull me through
I walk now tall, both strong and proud

I'm covered by the Spirit Cloud
With Fire by night and cloud by day
Love, Peace, and Joy along the way
His staff and crook now guide my steps

I trust in him, to act, protect
To guide, provide, and show the way
The Comforter I do obey
The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost

To trust in them and love the most
Is my only way to strive, survive
To live the life, to be alive
Loose-knit threads now fall below

Peace and Love and Joy now flow
Forward tracks my feet trod on
Drawing me close to my lost home.
-----------------------------------------------------
75
He loved by conviction.
He who lives by preference
is weaker than He who lives by conviction.
The killer that hides during the day

is often revealed by the moons hidden night.
They that give themselves over to emotion

are often times swept past all logic and cascade away.
The torments of temptation

are nothing compared to the consequence of sin.
What you do in the secret

will be revealed at the judgment seat of God.
Living in the fullness of the law

does not mean that you are just, only law-abiding.
Doing things the good way fails

Since anything that is not of faith is sin.
And he who loves by preference

is weaker than He who loves by conviction.
-----------------------------------------------------
76
Burn the night
keying in on life when people pass you by

prying up wooden boards when children start to cry
touching those who care while you wonder why
he's with you always forever and a day
he's chilling firesides of burning sins in lives
he's purging molded hearts and mopping up the spills
he's with you always so hard it makes you think
if i could trap time in a bottle

i swear i would spend it with you
if i could store my tears forever
id wash all of your heartaches away
if i could have one thousand wishes
id give each and everyone too
and if i was king for just one day
i would give it all away to be with you
torches torches pass me by

burning brightly in the night
like a flower burning wildly
burn off all of evils blight
Jesus Jesus your my torchlight
your my hero in the night
Jesus Jesus keep a watch Lord
ward off all of evils blight
burn the night
-----------------------------------------------------
77
Flesh fall down
I woke up cold and warm

chilled with a burn
I found that I desired
nothing but the noise
solemn and somber
I burned with flesh
I had reached the pinnacle
I had climbed the spire
But so much had changed
since then
I fell down all
I fell
fell down
fell
fell
fell
fell
fell
down flesh
fall down flesh fall
downfall
chilled and warm
I awake
with the noise
endlessly
from the high
But I changed
and fell
I fell down all
flesh downfall
-----------------------------------------------------
78
We are grinding
Living Living Living on the outside
Grind Grind Swimming through time
Trying Trying Trying for the right time
Try try try as we might
we can never without him see it to the other side
Find Find seek and you'll find
Jesus Jesus he's on our side
Remind your mind that he's on our side
Father Father he is our guider
True True the word is all true
Hate Hate wisdom and you'll hide her
Just as the sky is still blue
love knowledge and hate sin
living free and holy and being born again.
Try try to do it on your own now
Your gonna surely fail and wind up facing Hell
try try trying for the right time
you'd better do it now before there's no more time
living living living on the inside
fly fly soaring up above
Freedom laughter living within Jesus
The Holy Spirits falling. Landing like a dove
But try try to do it on your own
you'll just end up falling calling hell your home.
You're living living living on the outside
grind grind dying in time.
-----------------------------------------------------
79
D' End
One end to it all.

Five fingers on each hand.
Five fingers for sin, for love.
One hand to love with.
Two hands to kill.
One brain determining.
Life and death.

Light and breath.
If I love the end...

How can I kill?
If I crave the bends...
Can I keep still?
I must love others.
I must trust brothers.
Loving and killing.
Blessing and cursing.
Five fingers on each hand.

One, two, three, four, five.
As well as six through ten.
Gentle hands, Terrible hands.
Hands to maim.
Hands to heal.
One hand good.
The other ill.
-----------------------------------------------------
80
Creativity is the stain of the blood from your own personal ethos
A Gepetto has called me

A Pinocchio I am
I am wood
Rotting away
Cut my strings
Let me go
I am alive
Though you see it not
Let me GO
LET me go
Let ME go
I'm all tied up
Thanks to Paul Venus

-----------------------------------------------------------------
81
"Fretful"
(My Alura)
A house full
of empty rooms
with only you.
As you breathe
the listless breath.
(can I see
you in misery?)
A garden filled
with empty roses
with only you.
Crying the tears

of undue fretfulness.
Clenching the brand
of hard shamefulness.
(You see me
in your misery?)
A head stuffed
with empty dreams
without you.
Badgering the house

of achieving greatness
Screaming at the
walls of beautifulness.
(beautifulness?
beauty?)
yes...
come in, open, realize, dream, believe.
-----------------------------------------------------
82
Some people never do
Some don't ever realize

The laughter and joy in your eyes.
Some people don't ever find the reason why
But I know that Jesus cared, for He died.
Though it seemed a struggle
Though it seemed too hard.
Jesus I know that in truth
You are my only trump card.
Those hurting and dying just don't understand

That you stretched forth your all,
when you stretched forth your hand.
With hinds feet on high places I will strive
I'll give my utmost for his highest though I die.
Sometimes all those hurdles seem way too high
I know I'm not perfect, but with Jesus I try.
Some people don't find out till it's too late.
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83
We want you!
Come and join the revelation

of the ultimate suffering of the Lord.
Come and see the revelation
of the wondrous glory of His word.
Feel the power pulsing onward.

Feel the steel grasp of the pull.
Come and find your body wandering.
come and die once and for all.
Join the death of your desire.
Taste of loves sweet endless fire.
Fellowship and matchless splendor.
Die to self, lose all control.
Come and join the revelation

of the ultimate suffering of the sword.
Come and see the revelation
of the awesome splendor of the Lord.
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84
Aslan Itch
(Reflections of C.S. Lewis and E.C.S.)
I itch away at complacency

until it subsides.
Scratching at apathetic views
that I cannot quite reach.
I peel away my mediocrity
with growing pain.
He ripped away my lack of love
and it all fell away.
In chunks of flesh that I lie among.

With blood and scraps of cloth around.
I quiver and burn with searing pain.
The air is cold. My sinuses drain.
Plunged down in the untouched pool.
I'm born anew to the world of men.
New skin, baby and beet is that of mine.
The avenging scales of death are gone.
And now, baptized in frozen numbness,

I arise no more the dragon, but man.
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85
Thoughts in the tunnel

(Further down the bloodied path)
As I stare out the tunnel of light

I see darkness on either side
Darkness of mind, and of knowledge
Darkness of will, captivated by defeat
I will to go there if I would
But there I will never find the life
There is only one light, but varied darkness
A slow hard path I trod
Towards a goal I have never seen or imagined
I feel like I'm falling. I'm falling
I'm falling, that is what I feel
But I am not moved by what I feel or see
I am in agreement with no one but my Lord
Savior and salvation in the vessel of existence
Freedom and joy unspeakable well up within,
When I consider His wonderful deeds.
But when I see the darkness. . . I freeze.
I know that the road I walk is so small.
But I walk it no matter what happens.
By all means if possible, but only one is.
When I fall, I struggle to my feet.
Weary legs, dragging, stumbling forward now.
Fearing the dark, but draw courage from it.
In death I find faith; in horror, joy.
"Taste of me!" it cries. . . the black.

It comes up and licks at my shoes. . . pulling.
I struggle, strive, sweat and drag myself through.
Bloody stumps trod forward now.
I'm almost home, I feel the breeze of eternity.
Calling to me, down this tunnel.
And I travel, I travel the path of my Savior,
Following the shadow and the cross,
On the bloodied path, I travel home.

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86
The burn
Shall I never end this burning sensation?

The Lord did signs and wonders for all.
But the all forgot the all he had done.
He opened up his mouth with teachings and parables.
And we shoved our prejudice down his throat.
He trod the second mile for us.
But we tripped him and whipped him and made him bleed.
The sensation started at my hands.
I remember when he smiled at me.
And I bashed his face in with my club.
His well trimmed hair and beard.
It was in my hands in bloodied clots.
The anointed one of Israel hung from a thieves gallows.
It was my hands that nailed him there.
That burning, it scorches and gnaws at my arms.
His clothes. . . we stripped him like a whore.
We wore our pride like jewelry, and it blinded him.
We were drunk on power, but we gave him vinegar.
Could he still know? I stabbed him with my spear.
The blood, the water, it stank of forgiveness and love.
Up my shoulders and around my neck the burning crawls.
The birds, flies and bugs ate at him like a carcass.
The sun and the wind tortured his mind.
The rocks that were thrown, bashed at his bones.
The yelling, my cursing, my hatred toward him boiled.
Still the passionate burning persisted until it consumed me.
It engulfed me like a living fire.
For it was I who killed the carpenters son.
It was I who killed him.
It was I who nailed him up
on two planks of wood and left him to rot.
It was I.
It was I.
It was I.
And the burning still burns.
-----------------------------------------------------
87
Paul writes
In my weakest hour, then am I strongest.

At my lowest point, then am I highest.
With my deepest concerns, I am set free.
In the roughest of times, He is in control.
In all of my shyness, His power is greatest.
In all of my struggles, He has overcome.
Through all of my distress, He is victor.
When I am weak, then is He strong.
I am afflicted in every way, and He is King.
He is conqueror and complete master of all.
He is carried out in life through my body.
So that, He might carry mine someday.
I constantly die for Him. Even daily.
And so He constantly lives on my behalf.
Death works in us, but life in Him.
And I believe this, so I speak it.
Though my flesh withers, I will not lose heart.
My inner man is renewed daily.
Minor affliction for now, but reward in the end.
The darkness now can't compare with eternity.
For the things which are seen are the temporal.
But the unseen, are those eternal.
Inspiration found in my namesake

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88
All of it.
Time upon time. Line upon line.

Faith upon faith. Block upon block.
Thought upon thought. Time upon time.
Men walked the lines. Waiting for signs.
So quickly forgotten. Time upon time.
Every word spoken forth in this realm of existence.

Every note played upon the harp of persistence.
All lonely days felt in the cloak of resistance.
All the typewriters set to the utmost proficience.
All monies hidden in vaults underground.
All kings and princes who wear golden crowns.
All the tanks and planes couldn't turn it around.
It's always the same for the chains are still bound.
All of earths strategies could not hold him back.
For he wrestled and won against darkness so black.
He came not to bring peace, but to bring out a sword.
And divide up all houses for the glory set forth.
Mother against daughter. Father against son.
He's the king of glory. Victory has been won.
We do love our lives while the world goes to hell.
And we send our money, but why not ourselves.
For he said to go and not hold back 1%.
I'm frothing and foaming like a horse with no bit.
-----------------------------------------------------
89
Let Him Reign
Here comes the storm again

With the mighty power of its surging rain.
Here comes the rushing wind
Are you ready for that final day?
Look out your window now
See the awesome power of our Gods reign.
Here comes the hard truth boy
Will you see him on that final day?
The wind rushes through my hair and courses through my veins.

The smell slams me in the face and pushes me to the insane.
It's the power of the judgment, the fire of the holy one.
It's the revival fire sweeping, sent by his dearest son.
Judgment fall upon the earth

The blessed rise and fall the cursed.
Wonders and glory fall upon his sons
The tale of the end has only just begun.
Dreams and visions flow so free
Upon this threadbare tapestry.
And so the end has thus begun
Revival and judgment are together spun.
The wind rushes through my hair and courses through my veins.

The smell slams me in the face and pushes me to the insane.
It's the power of the judgment, the fire of the holy one.
It's the revival fire sweeping, sent by his dearest son.
-----------------------------------------------------
90
Highway Lady
She passed me at 80
I passed her again
She passed me again
I stopped for a burger.
She stopped for gas
I passed her again
She passed me again
She passed me at 80.
She had blonde stringy hair

and coke-bottled glasses
she passed me again
fine, this is my exit anyway.
-----------------------------------------------------
91
What do we care?
As the servant reaches out,

But the prince does strike him down.
As the slave does lift her eyes,

But the princess does despise.
As the bondsman stands his ground,
But the king does make him drown.
As the Son does see the need,
But who does care?
And the Son does see the need.

So the Father seeks their peace.
And the Spirit hears them bleed.
So do we care?
Shall the oppressed rise above,

When the oppressors smash with clubs?
Shall the mastered now submit,
When the masters never quit?
Shall the workers strive and groan,
When the bosses strike their blows?
Shall the Son now see the need
When no one cares?

So do we care?
Do we see things as they really are,

Or are we looking from afar?
Do we see those things unfair,
Or do we see the hurting everywhere?
Do we see Jesus in all men,
Or shall we see slaves as really friends?
Do we let color-blindness win,
Or should we care?

Should we still care?
Do you still care?
-----------------------------------------------------
92
Jerisiahs Recollection
I saw the waves crashing, rising, churning

I saw the arms older, ruddy, lifted
I saw the sea stopping, pausing, thinking
I saw the eyes question, wonder, believe.
In the light of the ramrod golden sun, I saw

in the glory of Jehovah's chosen people
in the presence of the outcast prince deliverer
in the light of the ramrod golden sun, I know.
We ran towards the divide; smiling, laughing

we felt our hearts race; cheering, laughing
we caught up our children; cheering, smiling
we were free from harm, that is what they say.
I heard the chariots, saw the smoke, the dust

I cried out the warning, gave the call, the alarm
I warned of the impending doom, felt our loss, sorrow
In the light of the ramrod golden sun, I fear.
I saw the waves stopping, pausing, lifted

I saw the arms older, ruddy, lowered
I saw the waves churning, crashing, falling
I saw the eyes question, fear, and die.
In the light of the ramrod golden sun, I believe.

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93
If
If I were a very rich man I would sing and dance

If I were a very poor man I would take that chance
If I ruled or if I was king I would shout out loud
If I worked in an assembly line I would lead the crowd
If I was a wealthy democrat I would hold on true
If I crossed the border in a raft I would still praise you
Praise You
Praise You in the morning Praise You in the evening

Praise You at the sunrise Praise You at its sunset
Praise You at my breakfast Praise You at my supper
Praise You at my dinner And Praise You at my lunch
A bunch
If I was a plumber or maybe a geologist

I would sing and laugh and maybe even do the twist
If I was a miner or maybe a lawyer
Id have more fun than Huck Finn or even Tom Sawyer
If I was a street dweller or a Teenage Mutant Turtle
Id sing a song and pat a dog and jump across a hurdle
Praise you on the inside Praise You on the outside

Praise you with all my heart Praise you when I need a start
Praise you all over Praise you all under
Praise you in plenty Praise you in hunger
Oh bummer
But since Im me and Im not you

Ill do the things you cannot do
Ill give you all the same its true
When no one really gives a hoot
Praise You every Monday Praise You every Tuesday

Praise You every Wednesday Praise You every Thursday
Praise You on a Friday Praise You on a Saturday
And Sunday Just for You
-----------------------------------------------------
94
I need you
I need you much more

much more than water
much more than food
much more than oxygen
much more than my house
much more than a spouse
much more than clothing
much more than materials
much more than my health
I need you much more
than I need myself.
-----------------------------------------------------
95
Lord,
Lord, if there is one thing I want;

help me not to be dry.
Lord, let the well of your love
flow onto others through me.
Lord, I'm ready to do your will.
Let me shine.
Lord, let you shine within me.
I want to shine you.
Lord, I want you to be in me forever.
Thanks.
-----------------------------------------------------
96
My Captain
You are Jehovah the almighty Rock of Ages.

Fortress of faith. Towering wonder.
Your castle is high and Impregnable, Impenetrable, Immovable.

Your warehouses are full and overflowing.
Your streams are uncrossable.

The Leviathan hides your treasures.
A safe refuge in time of trouble.

You are my rampart, my battlement, my cairn, my fort.
Your archers can split a hair in two.

Your fiery chariots are no match for anyone.
You assemble your army from among the stones,
So that no one may march against you.
You establish your castle forever on your isle of glass.
Camelot, no... Heaven is your dwelling place.
And to you do I run.
You are the General and the Captain of the Faith.
-----------------------------------------------------
97
Sing hallelujah
Sing hallelujah
for the Lord our God, He reigneth.
Sing hallelujah
to the lamb upon the throne
Sing hallelujah
for Jesus came to save us
Sing hallelujah
He's come to take us home!
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98
One Christ
Fifty stout warriors clad in mail.

all wielding spears, waiting to prevail.
One hundred horsemen riding
their awesome beasts of war.
Lances shields and armor
shinning they adorn.
One thousand archers set
in an impregnable fort.
piercing careless soldiers
finding game to sport.
Ten thousand chariots gleaming,
ten thousand riders strong.
An army in an army,
so great alone the throng.
One million footmen ready,
with sword and shield and mail.
All ready for their death that day
or waiting to prevail.
One newborn babe, a precious boy

not a mighty man at all.
One God, One man, one Christ the lamb
stands more powerful than all.
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99
Instructions in pentameter
One day there was a pink flower

And she desperately wanted to be blue
She held her breath for a really long time
And the pink became blue, and in turn... purple!
But then she couldn't breathe!
So she sighed with grief,
And thought "Oh well, I guess I'm pink."
...She then looked to the sky and wished...
"Maybe God will tell me why I'm pink!
And she looked to the tree to find
A note from her friend the tulip!
And it said: "If you were blue, I couldn't be,
because God made us all the way we are.
If pink became blue, there would be no more you."
And the pink flower smiled.
Lines 2-14 (evens) written by Mandie MacLean

Lines 1-15 (odds) written by Pauly
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100
Risen Lord
Just as I am here now and forevermore,

So is Jesus Christ the risen Savior.
Both of my reasons I live my life for him,
Because of his love and my love for him.
The life you live is sweet but then gone.
Live it quickly or slow, but please the Son.
Pillars of strength are rivers of weakness.
In the light of the world without Jesus.
Your heart and your mind and your Spirits sight
Belong to God the Father and God the Light.
Earrings, make-up, fast cars, shopping malls, death.
Living in materialism and lostness and sin yet.
Grace and truth and love and faith and the word are
Alive and growing towards each other and towards us.
Everything in the world will one day perish
And all that will be left will be the invisible
Heaven and Earth will pass away,
But his word will never change.
-----------------------------------------------------
101
Indigos Opening
Your eyes are shut

Mine are crusted
but i see more than you
I am knowledge
I am power
I am...
lost
i... feel so lost

i feel?
i have been around
humans too long
all power is no power

compared to you
*thoughtful muse*
humans are immune
when choice becomes them
-----------------------------------------------------
102
Queer
'what was under the bed?'
he asked himself,
over and over...
all night long.
'what was in the closet?'

she asked herself,
under the covers...
all night long.
'what was in the basement?'

they asked theirselves,
up in their rooms...
all night long.
probably something queer.
but they never found out,

because when morning came,
they went out to play,
because it was spring.
but it was something queer,

later that night.
definitely something queer.
-----------------------------------------------------
103
The artist formerly known as Lucifer
There is no poem here.
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104
Too Late
i lie awake
at night
and smell the ozone
burning from my heater
the
plastic melts and the
core cracks spilling
itself onto my carpet
it is still plugged in
melting my floor
catching it alight
i turn over i try not
to think about it too
much by now my floor is on fire
flames
licking the drapes
and my newspaper
the room is engulfed
and i
pull the sheets over
my head to avoid the smoke
but by now i am unconscious
due to lack of oxygen
the door explodes open
and flames race into the new-found
food-source
my bed is burning
my flesh is bubbling
my bones are charring
and the neighbors watch
like i watched
the world watches
Christians watch
I Watch
AND WE DO NOTHING
WHILE THE WORLD
BURNS FOREVER IN HELL ! ! !
just like my room
-----------------------------------------------------
105
Indigo Dark Burn Introduction
I search, and find nothing...

I soar the tides, I surf the winds...
Eternity moans and breaths unto me: nothing.
I shall continue, I shall find that lost desire.
I, Indigo, shall return.
Do you believe me?
You must.
*Evil Grin*
I know what you do not.
You will believe.

--------------------------------------------------------
106
falling into sin
I think that I feel like a zombie

all these years that I walk alone
I look for places i've never been to
give me something that I need
bet what it is I do not know
I kill <chew> for sunlight lusting for more

I feel life but am blind, deaf, dumb
Life death light dark you me them
temptation <chew> <chew>
Lift the Yuletide at the chorus

I am a zombie <chew>
A <chew> shadow of things that are
past and discouraged <chew> <chew>
I am <chew> kissing under the <chew>

mistletoe <chew> before she sees me
I <chew> want to <chew> taste her
<chew> <chew> <chew>
<chew> <chew> I take bodies <chew>

behind house <chew> <chew> <chew>
<chew> <chew> and chew <chew>
<chew> yum <chew>
<chew> <chew> <chew>
Where am I and why am I in this place...
...and...
...ohmygod...
------------------------------------------------------------
107
Indigo Dark Burn Part One
Angel bright flurried starflyer

Do you believe me?
*Angst smile*
Angel bright, wonder love.
I come from Bolivia... to here, to hear.
Do you believe me?
*Frustrated smirk*
Demon knight, wonder love.
I come from yonder, to find life.
I reach, I preach, I forget nothing.
I am infinity, I am the universe.
-----------------------------------------------------------
108
Indigo Dark Burn Prelude Interruption
Dark burn... I, Indigo

I ever search... I am infinity
I started in the mind.
I started in Bolivia.
You must believe me.
{Hateful smile}
-------------------------------
109
Fun in Evil
You human kind dream

Of life so free and nice
When all you really know
Are feelings shod with ice
I know you more than you
I recognize you in sleep
Watching ever faithfully
A Kosmocrateraus is me
Fun is evil and the same
Is Evil fun for me
I cannot be the judge of sane
But Semjaza is my name
Fun in evil is my soul
And wretchedness is you
For I alone will hold you near
When Satan comes for you
Do not be deceived my love
From Christians and their hope
For decadence and sloth decay
are found on MTV
For I can't be the judge of sane
Azazel is my name
---------------------------------------------------
110
Temptress
Mirror of mire.
Dreamland despair.
Wonderful waste.
I call louder.
The Dragon comes.
She smiles on me.
Laughter.
Leering.
Lust and despair.
Smiles and smearing.
Destructive demise.
Cooperative Corruption.
I shout to the wind.
She comes swooping.
Bearing her chest.
With all her scales.
Yelling and looking.
Lost and befouled.
I attract this beast.
She tools my best.
My soul does baste.
I encountered my doom.
And then some.
She smiles.
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111
Underscored for life

(Indigo on a lunch break)
Underscored am I
forsaken I am
- lucid smile -
forgetful is he
no forgiveness still
for my kind
I shall burn
forever
- disquieting grin -
I do not mind
it so much
for I who roamed

once in your life
you shall now be
with me
forever
----------------------------------------------------------
112
Sinner Suck
Oh it must suck to be the epitome

of regret.
Oh you think you live for the

pleasure of man.
Oh denying not the life

that you lead.
You want it all but

care not for Christ.
Die in your sins and blame

it all on God.
Sinner sinner, sinner sinner sinner

sinner sinner.
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113
Dance into the darkness
All the while I stood there waiting.

All the time you sat debating.
Would you ask me for a dance?
You did not even cast a glance.
I died for you in your place.
I cried at your sinful disgrace.
So I get shoved now out of the way.
I see your promise fade into gray.
I've given all and still I give.

You've taken all and yet you live.
Apart from me, no care, no plea.
No need you ever see for me.
I'll cry all day you've lost the way.

I'll curse the day you disobeyed.
For even though I know you well.
That blatant sin sends you to hell.
"Father" I beg, "Have mercy please".

"On those refusing to dance with me".
"Cast them not out to the left".
"Father" I cry, "Your sheep I've kept!"
(Dream on you fool while ice grows hard.

Bridging their hearts into the dark.
Dark chasms yell tormenting screams.
On fallen children I will feed!)
-------------------------------------------------
114
sucker too
broken shards of pottery

lay at the feet of the soldier
and the precious water
was sucked into the thirsty sand
he was a goner now, he knew
and he felt himself too
being sucked into the sand
and he was
i hate sin
---------------------------------------------
115
Hunter of Dark
nighttime sleeper
evening weeps and thinks
destruction nears and bleeds
nighttime sleeps
I am aroused by the new moon.

A lifeless circle of black.
I am aroused and awakened.
I am the wolf on the hunt.
No one sees my invisible shape.
I am the wolf in the shadows.
I am betrayed by the starlight.
The cosmos stretches dizziness.
I am deceived and detained.
I am the Nighttime-Lord.
King of Vampires.
I love the dark.
I probe.
nighttime awakens
hungry red eyes
search feel and probe
nighttime awakens
probe search
probe find
search probe
search find
find probe
find search
find you
capture you
captures you
i capture
i will catch you
i am vampiric
i am a form
i am a demon
i will catch you
--------------------------------------
116
Prepare the fire!
The life, the changing, the sweet rearranging!

The death, The burning, The hell fires are churning!
His touch, His love, The heart flying higher!
The burn, Your turn, get ready for the fryer!
Prepare the fire!
The death, the stink, the maggots crawling over!

His heart, New start, His glory falling lower!
That grin, Those teeth, that breath of rotting flesh!
His face, His eyes, Your heart and His now mesh!
Prepare the Fire!
The smell, of Hell, You're coming to the fire!

It stinks, You writhe, He's calling you a liar!
Your soul, Is dead, And soon you'll join the rest!
Naked, Alone, The waves come to their crest!
Invoke the creed!

Prepare the fire!
Your death, last breath, You know your life is done!

Refreshing, for sure, to know the race is run!
An angel, shines brightly, He's taking you in hand!
You travel, To Jesus, And to the promise land!
Invoke the creed?

No! Prepare the fire!
----------------------------------------------
117
life walk
<ya cold lern allot frum ma dummy>
they had packed up,

and they left for the woods.
those troopers of destiny.
they had granola,

and million dollar hats.
those walkers of revival.
their minds were set,

and the Carmax glowed on their lips.
those trekkers of freedom.
their walking tour began,

and ended suddenly.
when their life was over.
where are the toys?

where is the hike?
where are the adventurous ones?
they didn't read the manual
Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth.
B-I-B-L-E
those foolish troopers.
those foolish people.
--------------------------------------------------------
118
Hell on a Monday
Dusty planks of old cedar.

Rotting away, eaten by crawlies.
Distressing reasons for hatred.
Bullies in the playground of my mind.
I yawn. Saliva stains are like
cobwebs on the corners of my lips.
For I speak no truth. Only lies.
So I will speak no further.
One thing I've realized

living on the sidelines.
Life is as fun and exciting
as you wish to make it.
The smooth faced walls of insanity.

Slick with the sweat of millions.
Those trapped in it, wither away.
Smothered by decadence and falsity.
Some writhe in agony.

Others suffer in silence.
All perish in the end.
----------------------------------------------------------
119
Evil trinity of desiring
As I wander through my life, I am beset by many things which would seek to hinder my
spirituality.
Girls, Power, Wealth... If only to name a few. These are my downfalls. In fact, they are the
downfall
of mankind as a whole. Aside from doubt and fear which expelled man out of the garden in the
first
place, there are three lusts of man. The items inside the world that constantly bombard my eyes
and
heart and would seek to destroy me.
I often reflect on them and say to myself: "There is no hope but you, God." This seemingly trite
prayer is not the simple prayer that I once prayed in my youth. It has become my pledge and my
mainstay in these troubled times. It has become the balm of Gilead in my inner sanctum. I have
vowed
to follow the teachings of Christ, and to allow myself to bend to the will of His heart, and the crux
of the Bible.
Many are the trials of the righteous. Many more the trials of the righteous penitent. With Gods
hope
and Christ's blood these issues inside my deluded soul can be won over and conquered. Many
the
trials... but Christ is victor over all.
-----------------------------------------------------------
120
Destination
The Crucifixion
Why does it irk so many people
When you talk about the cross?
Why does it set apart those
Who strive to do the right thing?
Who does it really offend
Except those consumed in darkness?
Why does it really matter
When you wake up destined for Hell?
----------------------------------------------------------
121
Pollen and Plague
Items... haunt, gear, disembowel

Items from death... facts from fear
The light strobed until the blinded saw
The pulse beat until the deaf heard
The items gathered and grew
strengthened in agility and might
items knowing, feeling, growing
the light flashed, burned, and learned
embracing and lifting them higher until
numbers and facts and theories, these items
from the rising to the setting of our moon
items of intensity, religious intensity and hate
fortifying itself against the powerful strobe
they grew and grew, the light knew
sees all, feels all, knows all light
the light understood, and strangest of all
it cared
and no infection could take it down

and no virus could turn it back
the light
-----------------------------------------------------------
122
Rain
there
on the
horizon,
lightning
strikes again
and falls crashing
all around boom thunder rolls
and fills my lonely heart with the swift
and sure beat of the wild ever precipitation
sweet rain and the smell of green wet, ever so wet, rain
down come rain on me, rain fall and pour come down on me smell of rain
the scent of a new fall I love, I crave the sound, and feel the tang and
crackle of it all. Come rain on me rain. animals hide, but I, much
wiser thrust my heart up to heaven with my arms
outstretched and open up wide
my mouth and
drink
rain
--------------------------------------------------------
123
Soulfood
Passed the alter
into the soulfood
by the lifting of hands
by the blood of the lamb
past the laver
into the soulfood
towards the painted gates
by the word of our testimony
passed the courts
into the soulfood
away from the thieves den
and not loving my life
passed the table
into the soulfood
closer to the holy place
by the word of the Lord
Past the doorway
into the soulfood
to the holiest of holies
by the spirit of truth
passed the old life
into the soulfood
yes, my lord
into your heart.
-----------------------
124
Ninety thousand seas
During times of mental constipation

I need forgiveness
dearest love, I need you
and I would swim anywhere
to receive comfort from
your cherished bosom
and I need your touch
up my back
across my shoulders
and caressing my face
because I am afraid
tell me what to do
because I am confused.
--------------------------------------------------------
125
Ruthless Teeth
Discover more to life

He says
He says discover
Lord we call him...
of flies... maggots... worms
#forlorn shrug#
then i am a maggot
"Yesss, Baaal."
we say, we envision
his brain sucked dry
(are you getting this?)
there is no order, only chaos

and death and the smell of rotting
and bile and fire and film and fire and bracken
and larva hatching in your ears
i hate my job
except for it led me to you
^satisfied gurgle^
---------------------------------------------
126
Home bring me
Hair, lots of it, I am embodied in fur
Leaves a plethora of forest, I am trees
seconds, tons of time, I am travelers essence
bring
me
home
Give me truth to cast away the lies

Give me love that only you can give
Give me paper so my hands can tell
Give me joy to cast away the doubt
Give me shoes so my feet can run
me home bring
home me bring
bring home me
me bring home
home bring me
bring me home
bring me home
bring me home
-----------------------------------------------------------
127
105 degrees
I'm drying up
being asphyxiated in the heat
I'm withering away
being washed up in its dryness
totally broken
recklessly shattered
I wash away
with
the wind... it sears and purges
demolishing, destroying, decaying

the heat... a wet blanket smothering
I wash away
I wash away
with the heat wave from the doldrums
with the blizzard from hells summer solstice
with the 105 degrees of wall to wall
of deep magenta shag carpet of a heat
I smother, I quiver, I wither
I shake, shine and burn
and it smells like chlorine

105 degrees of it
----------------------------------------------------------
128
Poetry reading
Descent against the America of the '50s

Mr. Snyder reads his poems
he works, he writes, he reads
The real work, what is to be done, what is left
Daisy Zamora speaks now about the war
About her knapsack, about Nicaragua
She speaks of womanhood- of nothingness
your number one purpose is species continuation
Leaping without wings from the precipice
Leaping without wings into nothingness
I have nothing, I am nothing, I must die.
…and I think I'm melancholy?
------------------------------------------------------------
129
Thick lips
Thick lips slur the speech that

breed lies and discrepancies
hypocrisy and lousy statements
of half truth
Thick lips make promises with a forked tongue.
Thick lips kiss well

Thick lips drip poisonous drool
making me nauseated with the stench
of a whores perfume
Thick lips conceal the truth of the vampiric bite

that drains precious life blood
these lips of ours

so thick and supple
are nothing more than slave ships
under no embargo
other than truth
------------------------------------------------------------
130
Power is greater
The ability to twist to lie

I love to be in control of things
To deceive is the greatest gift of all
To take a perfectly straight lie
And twist it into a truth
(I did not say THE truth... did i?)
+forceful laugh+
I am truth
I am truth
I am a lie
Truth is a lie
Lies are the truth
I have traveled the stars

to bring you this wisdom
----------------------------------------------------------
131
The silken noose
Ties that hold us

forget who we are and what we've accomplished
they do not care for ribbons
they scoff at our trophies
they are as blind as any disease
ties that bind us
resist change and punish innovation
it's uncomfortable to live in newness
abhorrent to dwell in the light
it's an abomination to rightly believe
ties that bind and snag and kill
that's why i do not wear ties
-----------------------------
132
Indigo Dark Burn Part Two
Stars before me, Light behind.

Faster, faster, I burn, I travel and fly.
Angel bright. Busied Starflyer.
I Indigo, like Merlin, foresee all.
I see all, know all dark thoughts.
|Lustfull Drool|
I stand in darks path, I... Indigo.
I search for lost hope.
I've started in Bolivia...
And have been lead here.
------------------------------------------------------------
133
carve feel dance doze death
carve a cantaloupe for me I say

upon these eastern skies arising
dig a trench within my heart
onto these joyous shining seas
wear me down from thick to thin
and throw me upon the wall
knit and needle, point my soul
another cross-stitch of your love
place a bomb within my mind
also the clockwork of your strings
feel the frantic lovers loss
and dance my head into the grave
pull the pillows softening down
doze upon these sheets of gain
push the pen that killed a king
under the waters of the dead
gather the might that giants have
within the harness of your tongue
pierce through my eyes with needled death
throughout the never-ending chase
carve a cantaloupe for me I say

upon these eastern skies arising
-----------------------------------------------------------
134
Tiny Flame
candlestick burn away

wax dripping flame smoldering
eat at wax
confirm your shape, shift power
throw out your wick
as a beggar throws away bread
cling relentlessly
harden and shudder, never to die
hands that feel
reaching and grasping to live
hands toward the light
taking and learning from its warmth
a blindness absorbs me
the ignorance of impending cold
and still the candlestick burns
with the wax dripping from its flame
it draws me into its legacy
the flame tiny and pure
carnauba wax smells indifferently
not the odor that i would expect
wick and wax, mix and match
burn candle, burn candle
burn candle burn
the candle. snuff. The smoke...

no more light. No more light.
----------------------------------------------------------
135
Paradigm Flux
Useless
tasteless...
now gone
my eyes
water
in the smoke
I watch now
with ears
gone deaf
my hands
suspended far
above me
in testimony
in sacrifice
to lord Satan...
I am impaled
through the
stomach
my rotted tongue
eaten by crawlies...
I, Dracul
the ungrateful dead
end my life
as I ended others...
and lord Satan
laughs...
for I, his puppet
performed well.
Damn my Lord Satan...
Like I have damned me...
-------------------------------------------------------
136
life sucker
it was like the first time she saw him

leaning over the pool
and gazing in
it was like the very first time

that she saw him
leaning
it was that time that she had the urge

and pushed
she had pushed hard
so hard
and now she had plenty of time

to think about what she did
plenty of time
in c block
in cell 506
plenty of time
------------------------------------------------------------
137
Goner
Flame licks my hand

Smell singed hair
Black smudge of wax
Wick crumbling
I face Hell with triumph
I wantonly disobeyed
I serve sentence
For repetitive crimes
For tutoring the darkness
That lived within me
That lived within her
I serve sentence for
sin
I'm a goner.
-----------------------------------------------------------
138
Underscored for life

(Indigo on a lunch break)
Underscored am I
forsaken I am
> lucid smile <
forgetful is he
no forgiveness still
for my kind
I shall burn
forever
- disquieting grin -
I do not mind
it so much
for I who roamed
once in your life
you shall now be
with me
forever
------------------------------------------------------------
139
Knead, Knead, Knead you thrifty bakers
Knead the world into a harvest of submission

Plough the ground with fallowness and hatred
And till up the stony ground with false love
Oh ye bakers of a lost and dying world
Oh ye makers of a would- be perfect world

You, lesser gods called now and chosen
Knead the world into a harvest of submission
Flatten and spin, knead, knead again
Full of the zeal and fire of your spirit

Powder and fold, flatten, form and mold
Knead knead and knead again
You bakers of the harvest, bakers of the world
You makers of a maelstrom of envy and hate

Bake the cake of forgetfulness and sin
Make straight the way for Lucifer's den
Bakers you are, and leaven in act
Kneading the world to the knowledge of loss

Suffer the rich, and bring lower the poor
Bake all you want, but you shall burn in Abbadon
-----------------------------------------------------------
140
things bug me
things bug me...

like
cigarette smoke
on a cold day
like
naked women
in my pure mind
like
hypocrites lying
instead of forgiving
like
people flaming
not understanding
like
when i get cut off
in a turn lane
like
when i ramble
like
now.
------------------------------------------------------------
141
Indigo Dark Burn Part Three
Demon night. Starflyer. Starflyer.

I... Indigo, burn the past.
I study this future, and the now.
Do you believe that I search?
Listen and believe.
[ Disgusted grin ]
Stop doubting, listen... believe.
I am infinity, and I search it through.
I angel bright, fly along steadily.
Searching... ever searching... searching.
------------------------------------------------------
142
...people...
Holland sounds beautiful now,

Tulips and windmills and green hills.
...but the people are dying...
Or how about Jamaica?
Nice beaches, lovely music, faces.
...but the people are...
Norway or Sweden, France.
Not to mention Finland's elegance.
...but the people...

Yes, Belize sure picks up tourists
They do have the best beaches
...but the..
Australia's Coasts have held me
captive for some years now
...but...
I've always wanted to see Europe
...but...
And Japan has their booming economy
...but...
The Rockies; excuse me? what?
...the people...
What? Where? I'm sorry but I,
...they are dying...
I don't see anyone; do you see anyone?
...dying...
----------------------------------------------------------
143
younger ( and moonrise)

When I was younger I ran up hills
and chased cats, dreamed of space
and drew monsters, goofed around
and got in trouble, shot my slingshot
and climbed my trees, swam my lakes
and invented my dreams, wrote my poems
and skated my board, played with toys
and collected comics, stole some money
and kissed some girls, when I was younger
When I was younger I did a lot
and now I am older, and I do more
When I was younger I did allot
and now I am older, and I do more
(Black sky sick with purple stars)

(Gray clouds scattered, hemming in life)
(Sickening and pale, strewn with moss)
The dead eye stares lifeless and unblinking
(flickering and unliving... moonrise)
(my life... echoes... my dark life)

The dead eye stares lifeless and unblinking
(moonrise)
----------------------------------------------------------
144
Only the lonely
Only the lonely eat Pizza alone.

Only the lonely survive the night.
Only the lonely buy one movie stub.
Only the lonely call the T.V. their friend.
Only the lonely drive hours at night.
Only the lonely find crime a fun thing.
Only the lonely cry in their sleep.
Only the lonely drown their fears.
Only the lonely cling to the past.
Only the lonely cling to the past?
Only the lonely cling to their memories.
Only the lonely smile at their pain.
Only the lonely discover their death.
Only the lonely try.
Only the lonely cry.
Only the lonely fly.
Only the lonely die.

----------------------------------------------------------
145
2-26-95
My father just told me

She has three months to live
I am in pain
My pain runs deep
and no pain killer
will take it away
I saw her in her room

gasping with shallow breath
She is in pain
Her pain runs deep
and no smiling faces
will take it away
I don't want her to die

She doesn't want to die
Why God, Why?
I can't lose my mommy

For I'm still that baby
in the arms of love
so very long ago
The future winks at me

in its mischeviousness
And its uncertainty
I just want my mom

to meet the girl I marry
And pray a blessing for us
Before she goes away.
I don't want to lose my mommy

For she's the one I love.
-----------------------------------------------------------
146
Fire Station #666
When the Spirit of truth ignites the kindled flame

Inside of you begins to burn up, up and around again
And you begin to transmit a smoke-signal to show
Where the holy fire burns, for the wind of God to blow
The alarm goes out round creation... Fire in the east

Something has combusted! The flame will need to feed
Where the candle under basket: is hidden, dull and safe
The Wildfire of the Spirit... catches, licks and leaps.
The Nephilim hear alarms and burst into full speed.

And Fire Marshall Lucifer hops on his trusty steed.
Racing to the fire-spout, to extinguish every ounce
The Fire Station #666 is ready on the pounce
But Jah is in control this day, to burn away the dross

And purge the world from its sin, to satisfy the cross
For every rooftop now alights, and angels now rejoice
The Pentecostal back-draft rush, as if creation had a choice.
The glory that has come at last, is power that will stay
Where winds of doctrines come and go, but I they will not sway
For my heart is on fire, and it scorches to the core
The revival cry has come again as I lie as dead upon the floor
The tempest has blown over, the lava cooled to rock

I looked about and saw, gold dust upon my smock
And trembling I did realize the truth revealed at last
That Jesus Christ my savior, is unshaken to the last
-------------------------------------------
147
If you say something
“If you say something
loud enough
often enough
People are
simple enough
to believe that
they can have
more than enough
of what you have
little enough of.”

-Adolph Hitler
Translated loosly from the German

Form Copyright 2003 by pauly hart
(pauly hart wishes to convey no anti-Semitic feelings, only to prove a point)
------------------------------------------------------------
148
they are back
caged in a thousand tons of granite
they came long far ago

they been here ever since
chained
bound
and
enslaved
wracking their souls for freedom
they came long time ago

they be here long time now
screaming
writhing
and
imprisoned
listening to you sleep
they wake now from the graves

wanting to feed again
seething
searching
and
enfleshed
listening to you cry
demon nephilim
calling out
through the
pentagram
of your minds
third eye
listening to you pray
demon nephilim
calling your name
calling your name
to do their bidding
and join them
in hell
------------------------------------------------------------
149
Indigo Dark Burn Reprise
There is no hope for me.

But the knowledge is there.
I ever foresee and search.
There is none for me.
No forgiveness for demons.
Do you believe me?
/ Hopeless sigh \
--------------------------------------------------------
150
Indigo Dark Burn Finale
~ Dark Grin ~
Do you see?
Death on His cross
We win
But no...
He sees me
and my fate
with my lord
will I suffer
no forgiveness
no mercy
no hope
none
for
me
no hope for the fallen...

but there is hope for you...
----------------------------------------
151
Casuaaaaal
Here is my soul. Broken for God. Make me an instrument of your peace.
I went through a time in my life for five years when it seemed like
everyone around me died or left. Two of my best friends committed suicide
from drug misuse, my mother died... after my fathers remarriage; my step-
mother died. My grandfather died, my wife left, my business went under,
I wasn't allowed to see my step-daughter, My church shunned me. My friends
turned on me, I totaled my car, I lost my house... get the picture?
Needless to say it was a hard time in my life. I had a hard time living
with myself and the guilt that I had pressed into a small package and had
left sit in my soul. It seemed that I was on a crash course with self
destruction and there was no eject seat.
So I started smoking. And drinking. I got a girlfriend, and formed a casual

drug-habit. Anything to escape reality. I would literally spend entire days
in front of the computer playing games. I hated the way things were, I hated
my life, and I hated myself. I had felt abandoned by God. The feeling that
I imagined I had was that of Christ when He was hung up on the cross. My
prayer and complaint was always: "My God, why have you forsaken me?"
That was years ago. Life has left scars, but God was always faithful...
whether I knew it or not.
------------------------------------------------------------
152
Spirits a wanderin
When you read the Bible, you see stories of pain and of destruction,
and you ask yourself: Why are these stories in here?
Chapters devoted to things like brothers raping their sisters,
cities being devoured by fire, etc...
Well, I tend to think that when Jehovah had the Bible crafted over all those years,
He wanted to have examples of how not to live and how not to behave.
Oh yeah, just look at Exodus and Judges for some really good examples.
Well, I believe in the active presence of spiritual entities in this world.

So do 89% of North Americans. Well, Angels at least. However,
let us not exclude their fallen brethren, the devil-kind.
Not GHOSTS... but Devils. Nothing unbiblical I think.
Just a straight forward look on how the fallen must view the world around us.
I believe that they have a viable viewpoint. Albeit corrupt and demented...
they at least know the scriptures and hold fast to the eternal truth of a God and the truth that they
know.
Angels are one thing. But what does the world know about the rest of the Spirit-world? Not much.
----------------------------------------------------------
153
Round and round
I tire of chasing you.

I have talked and have written,
Listened and conversed.
I have heard your dark secrets...
Don't you realize I like you?
Isn't this something like dating?

Yet you insist that you don't date...
I would like to know you better,
But you hide behind your walls.
Does my love fall dead at your feet?
The light behind your laughter...

The joy behind your eyes...
It's pain that makes you smile...
And tears have fed your songs.
Did you know I like your voice?
I know you but I don't.

I know you more than you like.
You want me to go away,
But complain when I don't write.
I'm looking for an explanation,

I'm looking for some kind of sign.
I'll come and take your hand,
If you will only take mine.
----------------------------------------------------------
154
When True love is found
I have never loved a woman

I have never chased a girl
I have envisioned none so pure
As I have envisioned you
I have cherished none so beautied

I have lavished none so rich
I have wondered about no other
As I have wondered about you
There are no men can hold me back

There is no strength to hold me down
There will no empowerment come
As have been empowered by you
There was no one to compare with

There was no one I could share with
There was no one I will live with
As I long to live with you
As I long to love on you
As I long to be loved by you
As I long to dearly love you
------------------------------------------------------------
155
Kiss
When we marry, when we exchange rings

When we walk that isle. When we kiss
Our lives will be as one.
Our hearts will be as one.
Our minds will be as one.
Our love will be as one.
When we marry, when we kiss.
------------------------------------------------------------
156
Insightful
I have been overcome

with new ideas and formulas
in my head that have been
growing there since I have
first started writing. I
have written now for only
eight years and still find
myself up till all hours
of the night pounding out
poetry in plenty. I
originally intended this
chapter to be just thoughts
and essays about things
that concerned the world
as well as those things
which concerned me, but
seasons and writings are
formed into sometimes
other things than we
would imagine, and well...
here we are. Not with
another selection of
prose or poetry, but
with a hodgepodge of
information. There perhaps
is no order or semblance
to these writings, but
taken each one as an
individual scrap of
information... they can
be quite insightful.
----------------------------------------------------
157
proposal
I know the Lords wish

I know my own heart
I know her strong love
I propose
Both gentle and kind
So silly and insane
After eating Kens cookies
I propose
Will you be my wife?
Will you be my bride?
Will you be my Hart?
I propose
I know You are right
I know this is right
We will grow old as one
I propose
Honey, will you marry
A person like me
Will you be my own?
I proposed.
------------------------------------------------------------
158
Dance Floor Sexy
Riding tandem two by two

I've come to think of me and you
We ride forever, side by side
Slip and glide, Slip and glide
Forever seems like far away

Like rocky shores to distant clay
But ever now I know you're true
For everything is me and you
You dance like me, strange and new

You dance like a cool disco guru
I don't know when I left the floor
But you still dance and I adore
----------------------------------------------------------
159
My Wife
My love and my wife

Through many endless years
We shall reign as victors
Over life’s circumstances
For never have we been seen
To hide our faces and cry
And have never been made
To cry over spilt milk
But under the worst of things
We seek direction in the Lord
And we follow His light
Through all of Hell-on-Earth
If we be fools, let it be
If we be wise, let it be
All for King and Father
All for Jehovah, our master
Our Boss, Our Dad,
Our Comforter, El Shadi,
Rohim, Tsidkenu, Nissi,
Lord of all... My wife and I...
We worship You.
-------------------------------------------------------------
160
Nothing
Pretense meant nothing to me
when I looked into her eyes
Gazing into coolness
matching spy for spy
She read my like a Bible
Chapter, book, and verse
All the words dried on my tongue
all the lines rehearsed
Pretense meant nothing
as I looked into her eyes
All I could do was think of love
and moments passed us by
-----------------------------------------------
161
New change
I would give anything, I would

To see our hearts as one
I found a ring in three colors
Our body, soul, spirit
It was almost eleven at church
The Father, Son, Spirit
We will travel our life holding hands
together as one
Our time will be spent nicely
Jesus, her, I, children
The missionary heart for
The missionary Harts
We rise up as one.
New change, new life
Paradigm shift.
We spread our love through the Son.
We spread our love to everyone
A family are we
Traveling, hand in hand
to Jesus and infinity.
-----------------------------------------------------------
162
this woman...
What can I say about this woman

that needs to be said?
I know I love her.
I know she loves me
If we would have tried harder
Things would have been better
I thought we would be much
more mature than this
I thought I would be much
more thoughtful
Possibly I need more than
What I thought I did
Perhaps it's our separation
We've lost tough touch.
Perhaps this...
Perhaps that...
I'm tired of wondering...
I want a real life.
She is my real wife.
--------------------------------------------------
163
Diane
is her middle name

but she doesn't like to be called by it
and it makes me wonder how many times
we don't like the things about ourselves
that we cannot change for who can add
to his measure an inch just by thinking
about it but God can add to our soul a
fire so rich so free and so true that
it is never embarrassing to see the real
you because you are just real after all
all flesh is grass and what is in a name
anyway but letters in an alphabet Lynn
is as beautiful as the sun and i love
her for who she is even if it is her
middle name
-----------------------------------------------
164
I got lost on the way to Indianapolis
I'm just glad to count you as friend

I'm glad that I'm in love with you
I'm happy to be a part
of the happy time
It is a good
good thing to be fond of
the wife of your life
whisper in my ear the quality of your love
reveal to my soul. lay yourself bare
here I am writhing in torture
of your painful bliss. Your painful lust
You are the torture of my sorry soul
The beauty contained in you
you is lost
when you forget
to smile, to laugh, to love, to live
cherish those who like and protect you
I think that this turned into a poem
I started on line one and ends
up on line twenty.
---------------------------------------------------
165
Here
Here I am, lost and a-lonely
Please lie down and rub my belly
----------------------------
166
Kids like Jesu
When I think that I will spend eternity with the creator of the Cosmos, I feel a little threatened
sometimes. It is a staggering thought to put yourself into the realm of the spiritual... knowing that
we are but frail and haggard mortals. How could we even count ourselves worthy to be called
creatures of the Holiest One; much less CHILDREN? I weep often when I survey all that He has
done for me. The beauty all around me comes crashing in and my heart swells to a torrent. Gone
are the days of the perchance and the weak decisions. Today, Christ Himself rides triumphant
into my soul and I am pierced with His glory!
----------------------------------------------------
167
The trouble
An apostle of creole
The disciple of shame
Bring it on sucker MC
Why don't you want to play
Some brother was fighting

Someone who was played
But homey was shut down
Got him burst into flames
Yo now he be clownin
Like he knew he got game
He ain't axin nobody
Sucker disciple of shame
Wash it down
Watch it drown
Apostle of hatred
Disciple of shame
-----------------------------------------------
168
Purple dance
Dance purple all

night long and
you shall see
new visions, dreams
and celestial beings
that take form
with the increase
of spirituality and
God-like nature
How can you
claim to be
an omni-giant
when you don't
follow through with
the menial tasks
you were just so
wish-washy, just
as you are now
dance, dance purple
the long night away
for a short time
see the unthinkable
believe the impossible
know the incredible
dance purple baby.
------------------------------
169
Romance
{This is how much I love you}
I love you
with all the
love of my heart
with all the
width of my soul
with all the
tenderness of my emotions
with all the
strength of my flesh
with all the
wit of my mind
with all the
smiles of my face
with all the
kisses of my lips
with all the
gas of my car
and with all the
money of my finances.
Yours till the Lord returns

-pauly
----------------------------------
170
To you
To a friend for all times

I've needed to write this for some time
All of our troubles, all of our fun
Is now lost since you bought your gun
I figured when you married
After all three kids
You would hit your senses
But even now resist
But if I'm telling tales
And if I'm spouting lies
Then I'd be the first
That was surprised
Lose the gun lady
Death isn't pretty
We all know that
-----------------------------------------------
171
Champion of the Hart
My dearest Gazelle!
Come home to me swiftly deer-one.
Come home to me with hinds feet.
Search for me in the glen.
Elsewhere you shall see disappointment.
I am yours truly.
Gods and yours alone.
I am your forest-lord.
I am the white stag of the glen.
You are the swift and lovely elk of desire.
My dear.
My deer.
Come back to me my dear one.
Come back to me with hinds feet on high places.
For I am your Heart.
Your Hart.
---------------------------------------------------------
172
Lover of love
You are the sweetness in the murkiness of my day.

Your smile is a light to my dreary way.
The light from your eyes gives power to my step,
and your energy brings up from my soul... life, like water.
I love you my dear. You. Like no other. My best friend,
my true heart, desire so pure, thoughts so warm,
melting is my mind when it dwells upon the furnace of your ardent desire.
deep. so deep is your love. Leviathan deep is your love.
And my love so wide. Cosmonaut wide. Our loves blend,
twist and swirl into a rainbow of faces and smiles and
happy-dancy feet.
we mesh, we mold. come together and hand-in-glove fit.
We are one, we have won, we, one won.
How I long to lace and weave myself into the fabric of your inner want.
The chakra of your karma comes to me.
I grow and learn inside your mind and know, always learning.
I know your mind, your soul together spun with mine, forever twine.
-----------------------------------------------------
173
Waltz in the park
I think that it was November

when the leaves were changing
and I was climbing the trees they
belonged to
When I had fun with nature
in the autumnal equinox time
and life was just a fun time
with my girlfriend
You might think that we were
nuts or a little loony
running nature trails together
bare-footed then
But looking into our eyes
You could see God and charity
And total abandonment to life
all for God
Was it in November, or now
I seem to remember feeling this
It was yesterday and it was
right here
---------------------------------------------------------------
174
Agape Lover
Pain in the head

Until I am dead
I will be here for you
Open umbrellas
In my dead heart
I'll wait for you
Rain dance under
Dry and Blue Skies
I'll be near you
And when struck down

I'll hold my banner
of your love
until I die
I see you
sitting there
I have wanted nothing
all my life
but your love
my Lord
-----------------------------------------------
175
Spy-der de-sire
Spider thread, so swift and fine.

Realize the pull, the laugh, the line.
From your skeletal system, into mine.
And once our bodies have joined.
Forever we shall be. One flesh, One heart.
One mind, One soul, One body, One Person.
I yearn for you dearly

Oh God of the lyre,
take my desire,
purged in your fire,
help me aspire,
cling to you higher,
and all you require,

I yearn for you daily
-----------------------------------
176
my love
I will live no greater love

I will aspire no higher purpose
but to be your love
live your light and your holiness
my life continues nevermore
but only going on with your love
my life does not exist
except in your arms
my life does not have purpose
but that it is in you
I love you, you are my life
I will give everything that I am
I would give everything I'm not
to be with you. I'm in love
with the love that you give me
no greater high or rush
could ever touch your skies
No meaning or purpose
could I achieve, but your smile
I love you. And it is true
I would die for you,
And I will live for you.
Forever I will live for you.
-----------------------------
177
Love lives at the end of time
Dust collected Rust neglected

Thoughts abandoned Dreams unlanded
Time grew old Lies grew cold
Hands firm and strong now tremble

I comb away my years
I wipe away my tears I hide all of my fears
He still loves me
though I lie
He still loves me
though I die
He still cares
and I show him
what it's like
to love him back
And He smiles
He still loves me And He loves you

And He smiles And I smile too
----------------------------
178
Michele
I guess I must be crazy

I guess I must be strange
To love a girl so wonderful
So beautifully enflamed.
Will she call me when she's hurting?

When she's been beat up inside...
I can only help but wonder,
Will she ever want to be mine?
I guess I must be stupid

I guess I must be scared
To never tackle the problem
To never face the bear.
But will I see her when she's crying?

Will I be there to be hers...
I can only help but wonder,
Do I get what I deserve?
I guess I must be crazy

I guess it is my fault
I should have sent more letters
Or called and called and called.
What happens when we're 80?

Will our love fade like the wind...
I will love you like no other,
I will wait even 'till then.
(Michele my love, please forgive me)
You are the moonlight

You are the Comet
You are the hope
In the blackest of nights
---------------------------------------
179
Frenzy of emotion displayed to my demise
You have no idea the depth.

You have no idea the width.
You have no idea the height.
You have only seen the time.
I lied to you of amnesia.

I tried too hard with work.
I didn't get you happiness.
I couldn't make things work.
We owned a piece of heaven.

We grew up in His hand.
But after the near brush with death.
Things got out of hand.
I'm sorry that they hurt you.

I'm sorry they made you cry.
When Church people hurt you love.
I felt like I could die.
There's nothing wrong with nose-rings.

There's nothing wrong with style.
Will you take me back to Ft. Wayne?
Can we stop and talk awhile?
We helped so many people.

With my music, and your diaper ministry.
You were the tender flower.
While I was just a machine.
I am so sorry... forgive me.

For taking away all of your dreams.
Your heart was only bleeding.
I couldn't even hear you scream.
Your pain is yours. Yours only.

I share not any your grief.
You betrayed me in the bedroom.
You left me at New Planet to die.
There is nothing that I could say now.

No words will take actions back.
Know this alone and only.
I apologize for all of my lack.
You have no idea the depth.

You have no idea the width.
You have no idea the height.
You have only seen the time.
Michele Berkes, from the bottom

of my soul, I appologize for ever
hurting you and want you to know
that Jesus and I still pray for you.
------------------------------------
180
Re: Reprise
When the waters of my soul

threaten to run dry
there I find my soul
within your eyes
One fight cannot come close

to ending our surprise
when within your grasp
I have found my life
----------------------------------------------
181
River
That day that we climbed the banks down to the bank

and we read books
and I used the restroom and wiped with leaves
Do you remember that day that we walked to the park

and found that bag of chocolate
There with the Frisbee golfers
and our walking sticks
we clung to Gods graciousness
We had eachother
Escaping from the grasp of parents

Eluding the clutches of family
We made our daring escape
and retreated to natures recluse
----------------------------------------------------------
182
hi
hi, I am worried that you will turn

into a worry-wart and end up hating
everyone when we get older. I hope you
see that you are not trapped in this life.
I hope you see yourself as a spinning child
of glory, as a bird of charity on the
winds of the breath of tomorrow's rainbow.
If I close my eyes will I see blue skies?

If I close my eyes will I find you?
for us to love truly, we must reveal our darkness

our hatred, our anger, our fears, anguish and pain
I want to see your grief
I want to measure the terror
I want to float you like a cloud

I want to swallow you like flowers swallow rain
I want to lift you up to heavenly places
...and beg you to remain.
--------------------------------------------
183
Earth Brother
The fell of the trees

leaves shuttered
sky muttered:
"rape of earth"
- for one yellow tablet
could not hold
all of my
love
for
you.
i could would write upon all the

scraps of papers that have ever
existed
and not touch upon how i care
for you are more precious than

brother tree
sister sparrow
mother hawk
father sunshine
Father Son
... no not Him
I could would should
write all night
but shall abstain refrain
my love for
you
is
further
than
paper
could
ever
reach
---------------------------------------------------
184
You are you
I am glad that you are you

And not someone else
Life would be confusing
If life were that way.
I wouldn't know the love
I wouldn't know the friendship
I wouldn't have a clue.
I'm glad you are you.
------------------------------------------------
185
Jess Anthony Johnson
When we moved to Tulsa

We felt relieved
When we moved to Tulsa
I did believe
Perhaps the jerk you left

might make an attempt
on our lives
But the pattern is clear

for he does not care
for my wife
As we traveled southward
I was convinced
As we traveled southward
It was intense
And left with all doubts

what this might be about
he whined
And pout in the end

A bottle his friend
He cried
-------------------------------
186
Good decision #43
It was a decision
a choice, planned from childhood
we've done it before
but OUR choice... the NEW thing...
a choice, finished in September
when we met, I thought it was for sure
we really weren't sure yet though
I wonder how it looks from Heaven
from the eyes of my mommy
and
Jesus
I wonder how they think of us
(I can't BELEIVE it!, I actually found my soul-mate!)
hmmm...
I'm glad she's with me
I'm glad I'm hers
it was a decision
a good one
----------------------------------------------------
187
Beauty of life
God is such an incredible being.

He is larger than any imagination
or any scope of reality
that we could ever devise.
I love God and the concept
of an entity who can control
and shape this present reality into
much more than Einstein or Newton
or Euclid or Galileo could have
ever conceived.
It is such an honor
to serve a deity who is
actually alive with love and thought.
Alive with the very presence of our souls smell.
In all of history,
man has tried to come up with things to worship.
Wood for idols, Selfishness for themselves,
Weapons. Tools. Ideologies. Technology.
Innovation. But it seems like Mankind as a whole
has always swung wide on the postulate
that the inventor of reality
should not only be our source
but our sustainer as well.
I am proud to be a part of
a body of believers
who hold their faith in a true and living God.
The only being who actually gives a hoot.
That being cares. He CARES.
For you, me, and our entire pathetically striving race.
That's my God and
He loves you.
----------------------------------------------------------
188
Family
Sometimes blonde hair

She smiles
Eyes sparkle
I love her tenderly
"Blue eyes like me!"
Brown unruly hair

A giggle
Tender hug
I love her so much
"E SA LOW!"
Light straight hair

Shy glance
A laugh
A little T-Rex
"grrrrrrrrrrr"
The three loves of

My life
I want to be there always

Until the very end
I'd like to be there always
Let our love never end.
--------------------------------------------------------
189
hey neel,
i'm lost in a world of gray.

when you stand nowhere today.
forever is like the tide.
it's waves bend us in our minds.
i need you more than the state.
did you know i cannot hate?
when you stand so far away.
-your lover
---------------------------------------------------------
190
St. Valentines Day

(I don't celebrate Catholic Holidays)
I return the love

I return the gratitude
I love you more today
than ever
for our love grows on
despite
people places things disasters Satan
despite
all, my dear
too late for hate

our love is for real
-----------------------------------------------------
191
here goes!
Lord come and deliver me from this constant torment.

i am so weak and i am so unwise!
there is nothing for me to do.
i stand defenseless and naked,
my confusion exposed.
i am as a lamb before a hungry lion.
save me Lord!
deliver me from the one who tries
to devour me at every step.
protect me with your mighty hand.
restore to me all that has been lost.
strengthen my whole being with your Spirit,
so that i may walk in your will.
change me and shape me into a tool
that you can use to bring
your will into this world.
Lord, let the sound of your mighty name
be heard by every ear,
and let your name be glorified
throughout the earth
and beyond.
Written by Michele Berkes

-----------------------------------------------------
192
A poem of you and I
In everything I ever do,

it all adds up to me and you.
In every place I've ever been,
either of faith or maybe sin.
In every thought I ever think,
whether in pencil or in ink.
And any wish I ever dream,
it all adds up to just one thing,
it's just . . .
All of the poems that I've wrote,

and all the lyrics that I'd quote.
With all the stories that I've read,
and all the blood that I've shed.
All of the hurts that I have felt,
and all the flowers I have smelt.
All of the beauty I surmise,
what sometimes seems to pass me by,
is that . . .
Everything I ever do,

four always comes from two and two.
And if I know I'll hold on true,
you'll be with me, and me with you.
For I'll wait upon you Lord,
and I'll renew my strength again.
I shall rise up on eagles wings,
and I shall rise up on the wind,
and so . . .
If I know I'll hold on true,

I know you'll take me through.
I will be on my feet again,
and I'll rise up to be to you,
it's true . . .
You're with me always,
you're with me always.
You never leave
and you never forsake.
I don't know how that
I could ever think you're not,
because . . .
You are.
----------------------------------------------
193
I had
I had my first kiss at four

My first french kisser was Ruth
I enjoyed girls and teased them
Until love
I loved her until I forced her away

I tried too hard
I was so very wrong
Until she left me
I dived into sinful ways

And had women chasing me
I have been propositioned
Until I said no
And now I am in love again

Having seen the good and ill
I shall succeed this time
With Her, until I die
---------------------------------------------------
194
On the way
In the morning, we fought

danced the dance that lovers dance
sing the songs that lovers sing
do the thing that lovers do.
But I was the one wrong.
I asked for help.
I asked for love.
And it was given
chosen
risen
lifted
up.
In the afternoon, we arrived.
At the festival of the rising son.
and we sang.
and we danced.
and we flew.
and we dreamed.
Together
forever
with hope
and joy
in the house of the Lord.
--------------------------------------------------------
195
Me and the stuff I do
She moves my hand when I touch her

She hits me when I try
She tenses when I talk abruptly
I hate it when she cries
Emotions are so wide and deep
Emotions strong and true
For logic is but lost on her
React, not respond to you
She loves me sure, but it's so often
That she hates the things I do
I get angry
I feel angry
She runs away
Life turns to small talk
Our run, now a walk
Temper, temper I tell myself
Or I'll smack her across the room
Patience, patience I yell inside
I hold it until I'm blue
She loves me sure, but it's so often

That she hates the things I do
-----------------------------------------------
196
Divorce and forbidden fruit
A wife in Gods eyes

My wife in mine
I gave her my wholeness
For she was my first
And i lust now for her

For I've known no others
Only the wife
Only for her
Thou shall not covet

Thy neighbors wife...
But what if my neighbor

was also my wife?
------------------------------------------------------------
197
towards the end...
Towards a destiny I know not

Towards a life I don't want
I . . . i?
i find my life like i find
doggy doo...
...unexpectedly
...disturbingly
unrelentlessly i pursue a goal
i find repulsive in imagination
i deal not with extremities
but with those things i can
handle (which isn't allot)
so i find myself
Working ...dazed
in large ...confused
circles ...dumbfounded
pick up the gun,

put it in my mouth?
no,
i choose life
i choose it well.
--------------------------------------------------------------
198
The Changeling
Forever and a day long ago, spent without reason. Spent with a
Changeling. I threw away four years of my life... not in school
or in the military, but four arduous years being married. My
heart is gone because I trusted a woman with my soul. And
believe me when I say that I was burned. My soul has been burned
to a crisp. My heart aches with the sadness and loss. If I have
truly lost, then I can truly say that I have truly loved. Who
said: "It is better to have loved and lost than to have never
loved at all"? I can't remember... Perhaps I only remember
someone quoting it in a movie. Or maybe I read it somewhere... It
doesn't matter, because I think it might be true.
---------------------------------
199
Sleepylove
Why am I so sleepy again?

I awoke three times last night
I napped all afternoon
I struggled up
I stiffly arose
And accomplished nothing that I wanted
But only that which happened by accident
Tomorrow I must face a fear
That burns so deeply
It's been burning for five years now
And that burn gave birth to you
For I sleep not because of you
I pray day and night for you
And your safety
life
purpose
and
hope
You are my unforgotten song of joy
You are my day dream, and my night theme
You are so beautiful, and...
I still cannot sleep.
I have accomplished nothing that I've wanted
But only this remains:
I love you and we'll be:
again
someday
together
someway
forever
someday
And you said:

"We'll be together forever"
--------------------------------------------------------
200
The big D
i'm writing to you from my computer with severe intestinal crampings.

i ate four or five burritos yesterday, had some pineapple sherbet,
and then went dancing. after that, i had three bottles of mango juice drink,
and this afternoon I had a quart and a half of mandarin tangerine.
maybe this is the problem.
Copyright 2000 by Paul Hart
-------------------------------------------------
201
When...
I look into your eyes

I feel like flying
When I look into your eyes
I feel like dying
I wonder if there's any sense at all

I, loving you...
...loving you

----------------------------------------------------------
202
Pink slippers and tears
I'm a ballerina,
and if you let me,
I will dance for you.
I'm a ballerina,
and if you let me,
She danced and oh the splendorous rapture.

She danced and oh the sweet melody.
She danced and oh the wondrous glory.
She danced and danced and danced.
I'm a ballerina,
and if you let me,
I'm a ballerina,
and if you let me,
She danced and oh the emotion.

She danced and oh the significance.
She danced and oh the reverence.
She danced and danced and danced.
Well, I'm only a spectator,

but if you let me,
I will cry for you.
----------------------------------------------------------
203
So Good
You make me feel so good, so good

O Dancing at the club, I feel so good for you
U I always dance for your love and exercise
M Kim dances so the boys will notice
A Shelly dances because she enjoys the words
K Angie dances because she's just a kid
E Dale dances because he likes to dance
M Sheryl dances to try to dance
E Mike really doesn't dance
F And Bear, he just smiles
E We prayed afterwards for peace
E It was a good time, full of life
L Jesus was handing out gifts of love
S Years of preparation and tears of hope
O People praying in, around, away for all
G Pure Christian music, pure Christian ministry
O Yes, save the name, don't play the game
O God moves when His people pray, angels know
Demons and Hell beware, we Christians will rock!
You make me feel so good, You are so good to me
----------------------------------------------------------
204
More Blues
I am crucified with Christ.

But still desire sinful things
too many areas of dedicated mental lust

But I am hung up with Him.
I sure don't know why Christians
do the things that Christians do
My car is going to the destination

taking myself away away away.
I will drive anywhere
Let me dance in the presence

of your broken dreams
Sadness and desire

hate and lust... the blues
I wake up, and she's on my mind.

I am crucified with Christ

----------------------------------------------------------
205
Draw me to you deep wide
Fields of hope, fields of dreams

Valleys of prayer draw me to you
The vast ocean of recognition, the sea of thought
Everglades of longing draw me to you
deep wide
you have set me free upon the plain of this reality
deep
wide
is
your
love
for
me
deep
wide
Mountainsides of joy, glaciers of recognition

Slopes of wonder draw me to you
An insurmountable peak of holiness, a crest of love
Drifts of purity draw me to you
deep wide
You have set me free upon this plain of reality
draw me to you deep wide
----------------------------------------------------------
206
The pauly Blues (inspired by Jimmy Olson)
I am crucified with Christ.

But am still feeling sinful things
Gotta pocket full of... spinning doctors.
I really don't know why Christians
can't write better music, but that's ok.
I saw my lovely friend Nealy today
at the ranch with my friend.
a lot of new faces, many old too
aha! got a pocket full of... sinful things.
six inches of dedicated mental lust
But I am hung up with Him.
I sure don't know why Christians
can't write better music, but that's ok.
My car is going to the destination
taking myself and my new friends.
A lot of new dancing, old styles too
I gotta pocket full of... Kryptonite.

So many people to talk to
I wake up, and she's on my mind.
I am crucified with Christ
This earth, gotta pocket full of it.
----------------------------------------------------------
207
Stock in Stocks
Images, Reality and fantasy

Dreams, Visions and the past. Our reality.
Dreams, Visions and the future. Our fantasy.
Images and frequent showers of idealism.
"What is truth?" the governor asked.

the Jewish carpenter had nothing to say.
"Are you the Christ?" the governor asked.
Under the blood he spoke, "As you say."
Monthly gains in stocks and bonds.

Livestock and trade. Wonderfully made.
County and State. Wheat, Barley, Meal.
Agriculture and Horses. Recklessly sealed.
Cash hog. Cash cow.

Cash flow. Cash now.
Images, Visions frequently lost.
A Jewish carpenter nailed to a cross.
----------------------------------------------------------
208
Of traitors and of thieves
Everywhere I go, someone knows your name.

Everywhere I go, I find your eyes.
Everywhere I go, I see your peace.
Everywhere I go, you shine like stars.
Every person I meet, needs your life.
Every idea that's thought, guides me to you.
Every theory unproven, proves your justice.
Every traitor you catch, trades you for silver.
Every moth that flies, does so by your grace.
Every rabbit that lives, does so on your prairie.
Every owl that sees, does so with your eyes.
Every woman that pains, gives birth to your love.
Every framer that frames, if only for art.
Every potter that spins, if only for water.
Every candle maker, if only for light.
Every thief that steals, if only for money.
Every creation bears your birthmark.

Save one.
Man
bears
your
name.
--------------------------------------------------
209
Love over
As the clock chases time for miles upon miles,

I sit on the grass and think about smiles.
For a time and a half, I ate a giraffe,
That I bought at an animal whale of a sale.
My shoes are now red, so I gave them away,
And the river was cool, so I drank like a fool.
Love over. My soul was under your love. Love over.
Just once I would like to be as loud as I might,
Like a solar flare burst could be bright.
But over again, I would just like to sit.
I would love to grow wings, and test out my strings,
And carve my whole name in the sky.
Love over. Red Rover. Send your love right over.
I know life is small, I have bugs on my wall.
But I can't leave a wake, it would be a mistake.
As my cat chases twine, as my brain does unwind,
I think about slime, and am I still fine?
Love over. And over. Love over.
The sunset of your love has begun.
My toes were under the sun.
Love lower.
Quite lower.
Love over.
-----------------------------------------------
210
Love untied
It was love, love untied!

The wind and the rain and my soul set free!
Love, love untried!

We need to find the truth, we need to try to see!
Joy, joy set forth!

Everybody start to dance and people start to sing!
Truth, truth let free!
Like the birds of the air and the fish of the sea!
Peace, peace totally!

Jesus is calling after you and He's calling after me!
Come to me children!
He is running after you and wants to make you see!
He loves you abundantly!

The wind and the rain and my soul let go!
Love, love overflow!

Everybody is grooving and everybody knows!
It was love, love untied!
----------------------------------------------
211
Go for it
When life seems to drag you down
And life's problems make you drown
Then you should always look around
And go for it
In its simple simple way
Questions never do obey
So you look around and say
"I'll go for it."
When lifes' decisions pass you by
And all time does is fly
Don't you fret and don't you cry
Just go for it
And when seeing is not believing
You go for it
-------------------------------------------------------
212
I don't want to lose my faith

I don't want to be alone
Somedays I wonder about mediocrity

Sometimes I wonder about togetherness
It's like when you are watching TV at 4 am
And find yourself agreeing with an infomercial
When there is love, there is the king of glory
I wonder about fast food in an instant society
We must be common together, children together
A family tied, bound, and given in love
It's like when you drop the jam and burn
All of your toast and find yourself crying
Aloneness and fear, like roaches desecrate
The opposition of pride rests on your shoulders
The coloring of a pale life. Love of God.
I don't want to be alone. Yet I'm there often.
Wrapped up in a book, in the house, on the sofa.
I don't want to be loosed for the enemy.
An unsplintered friendship is the apple of His eye.
Surrender to lifes' gentle way. Become unified.
What I'm saying is simply the truth
Being alone by choice is offering yourself to death.
Unite yourself with wisdom. Give away life.
Plant your love in others. Plant yourself in God.
Do you find yourself alone with a talk show host?
Sometimes I wonder about togetherness.
Don't tie your shoes together. Loose yourself.
Become dead to vain imagination and blunder.
Pray, teach, serve, encourage and be hospitable.
We need each other. It's no lie. I need you.
---------------------------
213
Jesus splashes foamy love

This is the way love is. It's all there is.
Love bursting forth. Starbursting. My eyes sting.
Shards of love stuck in my face and my sides.
This is the way is and it should be forever now.
It's like a reversal image seen of ones self. Better.
The way love is, is the way I choose to be.
Love is the way that love is supposed to be.
Love is the way to all of forgotten forgetfulness.
It is the same thing as ever there always was.
If love is all there is to life. Then life is love.
Love is the way to heaven. For love paid the price.
Love is the way, love is the truth and also the life.
Jesus flows like a river showing us his love.

Joyfully he flies and glides, swooping us up.
Jesus flows like a river. Love flows like a river.
Jesus tickle my toes as I stand in his river.
Jesus splashes foamy love upon his followers.
Jesus splashes his foamy love on me.
---------------------------------
214
Falling upon
When I fall, will you catch me?

When I stand in pains gate
When I fall, will you catch me?
My hands covered in mucus
I fall, and still fall
I die a thousand deaths
The two faced wall
Will I bounce back?
Will I be caught by the hands
Pierced on Skull Hill for love?
I fall, I die a thousand deaths
I am pierced by a thousand screams
When I die, will you lift me?
When I die in your hands?
In your hands I find trust
When I am lifted,
Will you smile?
----------------------------
215
Congruous motion
Congruous motion
wishing for a changed past
expecting a different future
becoming Sammys friend
Congruous motion
exuding in the end
listening to Lisa more
wishing time would bend
Congruous motion
dancing to the beat
reading Tonyas mind
dancing without feet
Congruous motion
hoping for the day
longing for a queen
wanting Missi to stay
Congruous motion
pushing fear from home
talking more to Liz
standing up to cope
Congruous motion
-------------------------------------------------------------
216
Let it rain...
... dear Jesus
(provoked by the music of Dennis Jernigan)
sweeter than a love song

fuller than lovers lips
thicker than the deepest myrrh
richer than a Scots accent
stronger than the oceans tide
wider than any sea
quicker than any tornado
tender as can be
is my fathers love for me
you are strength in weakness

when my life is crummy
you are there to make me smile
you are who i cling to
when my arms are failing
you are there to make me grasp
stronger than the ocean

deeper than the sea
is my fathers love for me

and he sings me his daddy song
-------------------------------------------------------------
217
greener
(happiness where you are)
-inspired by Grant Campbell
i thought it was greener here

i thought it was better there
i traveled a thousand years
to protect myself from lack
i found all that life could be

i forgot my complacency
i traveled a thousand seas
to indulge myself in all
i knew there was more to life

i figured i would find it soon
i traveled a thousand thoughts
to find the ultimate place of rest
but now there is no one left

and now all my friends are gone
i'd travel a thousand deaths
to be back where i began
-----------------------------------------------------
218
greener ][
(happiness where you should be)
-prompted by Grant Campbell
said one goat to the cow

"i shall travel there one day"
and lived his life on
said one hermit to the vagabond
"i shall make my mark yet"
said the president to the country

"i shall never tell a lie"
said God to a world

"i shall soon come again"
and did as He said,
but they weren't ready just yet.
said a people to the Deity

"come back in a month"
and got left for the bugs.
they should have been ready.

they could have prepared.
happiness where they should be.
hell where they are.
-------------------------------------------------------------
219
Preach
It's morning time, that's how it is

You'd better hold on now, It's morning time
Preach the news, preach the striding salvation
Galloping through the weeds of perdition
It's morning time, zone to zone
Sea to shining sea, it's morning time
This is third day business, yes?
It's morning time, zone to zone
Horizon cries out for light, yes?
It's morning time, if you know what I mean
Salvation on wings of a kestrel-hawk.
Or should that be like an eagle
Preach the third day news, do it readily
The heart of man, do you know what I mean?
Feel the pulse, It's morning time, yes?
Chant the pulse, feel the rhyme.
Course its pace, It's morning time.
Striding salvation, preach it forever
It's horizon time, It's morning time
like a bright yellow hand rising, as if for life
reaching... reaching... It's morning time, yes?
It's morning time, and on the horizons
I feel salvation striding, sliding, gliding. Yes?
It's morning time, and I will preach
Do you know what I mean?
It's morning time.
-------------------------------------------------------
220
trust
I surrender all
and I hope to surrender more
All to Jesus precious savior
I surrender all
Catch me when I fall

I know that you are always there
For when I'm lonely and I'm hurting
I should know you care
I reject the world

I don't want to accept their lies
Hold me Father, lover, Mother
Please hold me while I cry
Please be here when I cry
------------------------------------------------------------
221
love, peace, harmony remix

-explained by Grant Campbell
love, peace and harmony.

joy in all worlds i'd like to see.
but reason and lies and despondency.
come crawling out of their graves.
breathing decay.
love was the first.

she fell at my feet.
then peace.
she died in battle.
but harmony lasted.
for harmony turned evil.
and changed into racism.
love, peace and harmony.
very nice, very nice...
but possible in this world?
who knows, but our soul.

who knows, but those chosen.
exhumed from deaths door.
who knows but the keeper.
the gate of forbidden thought.
it lies behind there.
under crimson flood.

under scarlet blood
i shall find that love.
in the midst of war.

during countless hore.
the peace shall be bore.
harmonies endless flight.

deaths countless blight.
torturing the night.
i shall find it.

within the gate.
within the gate.
within the gate.
within his hand.
the keeper held it there.
-------------------------------------------------------------
222
It goes like
-read by Grant Campbell
last night i felt it.

the touch
of love
that i wanted
last night i dreamt it

that feel
of peace
that i craved
last night i knew it

the joy
of harmony
that i longed for
then i woke up
and knew
that it wasn't a dream

anymore
--------------------------------------------------------
223
help!
The bell tolled.

I picked the sunflowers.
I threw the box away.
The cock crowed.
I looked at jewelry.
I washed the dirty dishes.
The water boiled.
I memorized Chinese.
I asked for help.
Help was given.
I ate my lunch.
I asked for help.
Help was given.
I drove to town.
I asked for help.
Help was given again.
I worked all day.
I asked for help.
More help was given.
I came home at night.
I cried for help.
Help was there.
I opened my ears.
Help was there.
The bell tolled.
I recognized the help.
I said "thank you".
--------------------------------------------------------------
224
yup... poet philosophy
for poets who know

to waiver between
the words that are prose
the faces we've seen
they only behold

what only they feel
and all that is left
is lost in their thought
for all faces saved

for all those dismayed
a hollow shell left
where lost thoughts are kept
only words blocked

faces got caught
smiles that are gone
rights that turned wrong
joy so prolonged
in lost love and song
for poets who feel
for poets who know
philosophize true
from my heart to you
-----------------------------------------------------------------
225
Waiting and waiting
The fountain of joy overflows so near to my heart,

For I am here waiting for you.
The flowers of springtime bloom even at dark,
And I am here waiting for you.
A lovelier person I have never once met,
Still I am here waiting for you.
And a richer secret have I never yet kept,
So I am here waiting for you.
The sweetest aroma of your loves desire,
While I am here waiting for you.
Burns deeply inside like a holy fire,
For I am here waiting for you.
The Spirit of giving, His coal to my lips,
And I am here waiting for you.
Your precious blood cleansing our relationship,
So I am here waiting for you.
A cloud by the daytime shown forth in the sun,
While I am here waiting for you.
A fire by the night for our work's almost done,
No sweeter love yet has this man ever seen,
Your true heart I've kept by emotional strings,
I thank you for waiting for me.
----------------------------------------------------------
226
josh
(for Frank Shepherd)
they called him josh,

'cause he was just a kid.
and he had eyes like...
he had a mop of curly black hair,

just like our mom did.
and his eyes...
he was my brother,
and we were raised together.
and he had eyes like...
he liked to be by himself a lot,

and always seemed to be thinking.
and he had beautiful eyes...
when he smiled at you,

you couldn't help but to smile back.
and his eyes were fire and love...
i loved him with all my soul,

but they killed him at thirty-three.
but i can still see his eyes...
filled with peace and forgiveness,

underneath the thorns.
yes, i can still see those eyes,

and they tell the whole story.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
227
fulcrum shift
i was displaced and was moved
by the power you showed,
i was knocked down by the
shear force of your blow.
i was taken, and was shaken

by the power that you gave,
i was taken back by the
utter elegance of soul.
you, who shifted the heavens

now move me.
you, who cast the stars into place
now change me.
i was swallowed in your relentless

and all consuming love for me.
and i love you, and i return.
fulcrum shift.
the power of you.
--------------------------------------------------
228
mediator
i plead innocent
for my crimes.
but was sentenced
all the same.
mediator.
he stood in my place.
he took the blame.
and died for me.
strapped to a tree.
mediator.
Jesus Christ.
took my sin.
i'm born again.
mediator.

------------------------------------------------------
229
Upwards (inspired by Aslan the Triumphant)
Halel
further up and further in
Praise Him who is to be praised
Run with abandon
Shiver with ecstasy
called the lion to the friends
Thick grass and springy turf
like a fresh garden after the rain
like a thunderstorm smell
like the beauty of life
more of what it is
more of what it should be
for now we see through a glass dimly
but then we shall see perfectly
and the lion which is the Lord
shall beckon:
my friends
-----------------------------------------------------
230
Wichita
Across these newly whited plains

I see a distant hawk
The feather falls from its plume
like a tear
the harvest is plentiful
I hear the pasture lands
And Rich is in the background
with his hammered dulcimer
Lines of energy stretch
where trees should stand
and barbed wire hems in
the beauty of the stampede
for church-goers and party-throwers
they are the same
joy falls from their lips like rain

--------------------------------------------------------
231
The Picture in the sky
I saw a cross up in the sky,

It was a picture of hope.
I saw my maid laid in her bed,
It was a picture of joy.
I saw her girl sitting in church,
It was a picture of patience.
I won't worry, I'm not depressed.

I'm not ill, I don't need prosaic.
I saw His picture in my mind,

It was a picture of love.
I saw the signs of the times,
It was the picture of doom.
I saw the end of the age,
It was not just a picture.
I don't cry, I'll climb the rope.

I'm not suicidal, I won't give up.
I saw the picture in the book,

It was the picture of Christ.
And I won't cry, but will live.
--------------------------------------------------------
232
love came over
love came over for tea

and sat down with me
it came over for tea it did
and i did not expect it
love came over for tea

and all i had was water
but it did not mind
for it was love
and you know how love can be

-----------------------------------------------------------------
233
Aaron and paulys week in review

8-4-00 1:21 AM
Consume me oh joy spring eternal

Christ oh life, take my old soul in exchange
Grant me longevity and fulfillment in years
Guard my heart against evil oh Jehovah
Detain my heart from conspiracy to sin
And refresh me with waterfalls of joy
Keep my hands able, and my soul stable
Surround me with might and dissolve my fright
Pronounce an execution from my habits
Let me delight in what delights you
Oh Jesus change me into what you want
Consume me oh joy spring eternal
------------------------------------------------------
234
On High
Within life’s' sweetest melody

And in the finest harmonies
The birds and angels sweetly sing
You are enthroned
For in the mountains that boast gold

And in the valleys yet untold
Upon those crags and cliffs so bold
You are enthroned
The sweetest nectar I could taste

The fairest maiden I'd embrace
Could never try to take the place
Of you enthroned
For upon life’s long melody

And in lost valleys that none see
There could no sweeter nectar be
You are enthroned
---------------------------------------------------------------
235
the revolutionists viewpoint on wealth
feed the poor,

eat the rich.
take them down,

or make me sick.
tyrannical villains,
destroy every one.
feed the poor,

eat the rich.
-french revolutionist
------------------------------------------------
236
He is... I am
He is the son of man, come to seek and save the lost.

He is the son of God, my master, yes, the Christ.
He is the faithful and the true witness.
He is the Alpha and the Omega, the first to the end.
He is the bright and morning star.
He is the door of the sheep pen.

He is the good shepherd who would lay down his life.
He is the rhythm of the sea, the gateway to salvation
He is the one who forsook all to come and find us
He is my lover in a thousand ways.
He is in the Father and the Father is in him.

He is the works of the Father, The good steward.
He is Master, King, and Lord over all of creation.
He is the one who searches the heart, soul, and mind.
He is the great and mighty healer, the great physician.
He is the bread of life, he came so no one would hunger.

He is the manna from heaven. The fire and also the cloud.
He is the giver of eternal water and of all eternal life.
He is the life, the way, and the truth, the weary may come.
He is sweet sanctifier, servant, logos and rhema.
He is the light of the world. Take your cross and follow.

He is the life. He is the way. Keeper of Abrahams' bosom.
He is holy, faithful and true, He opens and no man shuts.
He is the true vine. He abides in the Father forever.
And we are his children, friends, sisters and brothers.
-----------------------------------------------------
237
survive
-drunk driver-
strive
to drive
to arrive
alive.
be real
do feel
don't peel
surreal.
don't weep
don't sleep
do keep
driving
arrive alive.
---------------------------------------------------
238
survive
-drunk poet-
i shall survive
in this jungle of apathy
i will deny
my flesh born despondency
i shall reply
to the grateful pathology
i will arise
and will
survive
----------------------------------------------------
239
Red Haired Wonder
I've come to you my friend

Dealing with life is such uncertainty
You are my nearest love
A vacuum of inner despondency
I want to know your soul
Your wire frame is just not on my mind
The life behind your eyes
Betrays the pursed-lipped smile on your face.
You are a drifter girl.

A wind rider with broken reigns.
A horse in a thunder storm.

Lightning and sea-foam
drip from your hooves.
---------------------------------------------------
240
@FELLVENUSMEZMORIZE
#1 sLEEPING ON nATHANS FLOOR

yOU SHOWER yOUR gLORIOUS ARRAY
#2 i DREAM UNCONTROLLABLY AT NIGHT
#_ yOU FLOW INTANGIBLY ONTO mE
i LISTEN AND SWEAT AND CRY
#d yOU DISTURB mY MORBID WAY
bUT ALWAYS SEEM TO REMEMBER
#3 yOU WRITE yOUR SOUL IN mE
yOU'RE SO COOL yOU'RE SO COOL
#+ yOU CHAIN ME TO yOUR HEART
# tHREADBARE AND BROKEN
#4 yOU RAIN yOUR BLESSINGS DOWN
i STAND UPON THES<k8oICES
#8k8kU SPRINKLE LIFE IN mY PARTS
oF LIFELESS AND CHORELESS HOPE
#5 yOU DISRUPT mY EVER-DOWN
#_ tHE ANTI-EQUATION OF DESOLATION
#L yOU CARVE INTO mY DREAMS
#+ yOU'RE SO COOL yOU'RE SO COOL
yOU PULVERIZE mY DEEP SOUL
#T i SEE COLORS SPLASHING AT THE WIND
#* yOU MAKE mE WANT TO SCREAM
#_ i FEEL HEARTBEAT CRAVING ATTENTION
yOU MAKE ME LOSE CONTROL
#_ i STAND NAKED BEFORE yOUR EYES
#8 yOU DRIFT ME yOU WAKE mE
#+ bUT yOU LOVE mE THOUGH i DIE
#_ yOU LIFE mE yOU SHAKE mE
yOU'RE SO COOL yOU'RE SO COOL
#9 yOU'RE SO COOL yOU'RE SO COOL
mESMERIZE INTO yOUR EYES
#+ yO0()Oo0Uu'RrrrrRE so cool
With thanks to fell venus

---------------------------------------
241
Dear Mr. Paine,
After reading your ad in the tuesday times I have come to be an avid reader of your Internet
Jounal/Newsdesk. This may seem a short time to become one of your largest fans in the
midwest, but believe me, it is a rare day when someone sparks such a vein in the truth in these
United States.
My father served in the Vietnam War as a Leiutenant in the Air Force in Wichita, Kansas. He
was afraid of being drafted into the Army, and figured with me as a newborne, his chances of
survival were greater on the homefront. He was a non-participant in the action, but he did serve
nontheless. He sat in a bunker for weeks on end with his finger on the big red button that would
launch tactical nukes payloaded on Titan II Missles.
My position on war has always been that of reserved optimism. You know that saying: "Expect
the best but prepare for the worst." I always felt that hearing my fathers stories was a great relief
in those times of hatred and misunderstanding. And I was glad that he chose probably the most
passive role he could play (besides communications, cook or chaplain). I would have to say that if
I were put in the same place as he, I would have supported my country in a similar manner.
Now i am not fooling anyone into believeing that I actually care about most political issues, but
on the subject of war I do have somewhat to say. My favorite Websters dictionary defines
terrorism as:
"The unlawful use or threatened use of force or violence by a person or an organized group
against people or property with the intention of intimidating or coercing societies or governments,
often for ideological or political reasons."
I submit to the readers and to you Mr. Paine that this is what the Almighty W is doing. Use of
force for the purposes of coercion for ideological reasons. I cannot say it any other way. What we
are doing in the old home of the Babylonian Empire is excactly what Saddam did to the Kurds in
the years 1979-1988. Killing those who oppose or threaten you.
Any war waged to the effect of stopping a threat that might exist is ludicrous. Peace keeping
forces (no matter who they are and what nation they represent) should have been installed after
the Persian Gulf War as was installed by the Allies at the end of WWII, to ensure proper
treatment of the Kurds. Or perhaps the U.N. could have officially recognized them and they would
have status and control of what happens in and about their land.
Terrorism is wrong. Policing is better. Threats come and go and the potential for war is always
there. I say there are other alternatives and there always will be. We must recognize things for
what they are and take control of every situation. (here I am talking about the sane world in
general, not the United States as we tried to in the 'Nam.) If the threat is too great then there are
always alternatives. I do not know if I agree with the policies on the whole Bay of Pigs, but you
see what I am getting at here.
I support our country, my family, and those that call the U.S.A. a friend. But i support no
authoritative dictator who deems himself the man to hold the answers for a better tomorrow, less
bio-chem weapons, and cheaper crude oil.
Thank you,
Pauly Hart
---------------------------------
242
Free to decide
Fearless and free we change ourselves

to become more than we could have imagined
Our lives become a small stone
Washed upon the shore of limitless supply
As we stand in the horizon of our fortune
And look back on accomplishments forsaken
We mentally see our past and imagine a future
Less provocative than we have ever seen
Full of choice and futile hope we realize
that the choices desired are often destroyed
Fearless and free We free ourselves
Fearless and free we heal ourselves
Let no man rule your destiny
Let no man rule your life
-------------------------------------
243
Music
Jade, Lenin, Spiral motions watching

Forgetful idealism's, denying machismos
love-lace, pug faced, tires spinning wildly
corny canned music floating from speakers
dynamos of dexterity clanging their gongs
Listen to the lyrics cry, listen to the clamor
feel it thriving in your pulse, louder, louder
frost-bitten gyrating waves listening
forsaken idealism's, destructive cannibals
jade-mace, dope-faced, propellers flying madly
corny canned music floating from the speakers
dynamos of dexterity banging their gongs
Live inside the music-sky, revel in its smatter
Feel it living in your pulse, feel it ever higher
music is your wake and sleep

music takes me to the deep
music lives and music now
music is your sacred cow
-------------------------------------
244
Spiritual Incense and alchemy
Oh fragrance of tough love dwell in me.

Rip up my inner self and dwell.
Pour in me that simple smell.
Of tough love like a farmers face.

Sip up my liquid soul and dwell.
No pretense could my heart have.
Without the joy like baseball glove oil.
Potent of my pungent soul.

Mix a quiz of truth.
Spell me out in figure-charms.
Jesus live in me.
Pierce my heart and let me bleed.

Mix the elixir now.
Push out me now, into your hand.
Drip me Lord like candle wax.

Flip off the scales and dwell.
Without shadow let me face you.
To shine out like good axle grease.

Trap me in you and dwell.
Feelings lost in your endless face.
Kindness like a home cooked meal.
Drip me Lord.
-------------------------------
245
S.I.N.G.
Breathlessly we turn our lives away

As we turn and face yet another day
Call it what you will
It is better still
To live inside the glory of Him
And I will sing of His glory
And I will sing of His love
And I will sing of His mercies
Forever on end
As we walk along these empty streets alone
Letting fear walk by and turn our hearts to stone
It doesn't fulfill
To live inside the worship of Him
And I will sing of His wonder
And I will sing of His grace
And I will sing of His presence
Forever alone
And I will pray for His judgment
And I will tell of His fire
And I will preach of Your power
Forever I know
Longingly we cry out every day
As we cry at night "there is no other way"
Breathlessly we turn our night to day
as we turn and face another brighter day
It is better still
To live inside the person of love
And I will sing of your wonder
And I will sing of your love
And I will sing of your secrets
Forever I know
And I will tell of your glory
And I will share of your grace
And I will let others love you
As you first loved me
Your glory I see
Because you first loved me

----------------------------------
246
To write a poem
What shall I write

I ask myself
On this blank piece of paper
With blue and red lines
What is my answer
I say to myself
As the white draws
My black ink to it
I answered myself
The question I asked
And wrote a poem
That filled up a page
(is life such a stage?)
(I smell the old scarf

and realize that the
songs on the radio in
the background deny
any mention of the
acceptance of a God
fearing youth of today)
What shall I write

As I look at the pen
I do not know...
And thus I begin.
-------------------------------------
247
No tears
Surround me with gauze

Yet I long to bleed through
I'm trying to live
Yet I'm sinking into you
I know you well enough

That you can't hide from me
You're smiling at me again
And I'm crying out to you
To you,
You are my souls desire
You,
You make it tough to leave
And you,
You are my Chief and Captain
I
Want
To
Know
You
More
-----------------------------------------------
248
Snuggled
Prayer prepares
Love rejuvenates
Spontaneous laughter
Rejoices with me
Speak only nice things
Treat others well
If you want to see
Reciprocals sell
Preserve me please
From crabby behavior
And unsatisfaction
Give me eternity
Within my heart
Within my vision
I am loved
I am loved
I am loved
-----------------------------------------------------
249
Breath of God
As dawn breaks, the new day

skips over the cloud tops breathing.
"How can you breathe?" I ask the day.
"I breathe because the Lord has first breathed me."
As morning wakes, the meadowlark sings
his morning song of happiness and joy.
"How can you sing?" I ask the lark.
"I sing because the Lord has first sung me."
As the sun rays shine, the morning dew

shines itself upon me.
"How can you shine?" I ask the dew.
"I shine because the Lord has first shone me."
And as night falls, I, already asleep on my bed,

forget the beauty that the Lord gives each day.
"How could I have forgotten?" I ask the Lord.
"You forgot because you first forgot me."
But still on me, the Lord . . .

Breathes, sings, and shines.
-----------------------------------------------------
250
You are
You are the one most holy and true.

I give my life, give my all to you.
You are the man in whom I see
All perfectness and unity.
You are the almighty God.

Above all there is none else.
You are the powerful Elohim.
You are the wonderful Trinity.
I believe, I believe the Bible says it plain.

Written upon old tablets of stone.
Your word, your worth, your everything.
You are Lord to me.
You are everything.
Forever to the power of ten plus one.
You are my God.
You are righteousness and true religion.
You are the one. . .
in whom I fell in love with from the beginning.
You are the rock of my salvation.

You are all light in this world.
I believe in you.
We receive from you.
Me, myself, and I.
Lord, you are worthy indeed.
Yes, Lord you are worthy indeed.
----------------------------------------------------------
251
Sword makers healing
-Troglodyte, juggernaut, spinning-

-hunchback, leper wrought, dying-
"I know one who can set you free Inchkeith."

"I'm fine just the way I am!"
"I know one who can set you free."
"I will make your sword,
now leave me alone!"
-You who sits back in the dust-

-who shatters and who rusts-
-who cares for the unjust-
-You who live your life in sin-

-can't stand so you cave in-
-he lost so you can win-
-Troglodyte, juggernaut, feeling-

-warrior, costly- bought, healing-
"Bless me Lord for I'll never be the same!"

"Yes, and thank you for the sword."
Inspired by Steven R Lawhead

-----------------------------------------------------
252
He was Gods child
He had dirty hands, and matted hair.

He was a poor boy who wore clothes with holes.
He slept in a small cardboard box.
And he always sang the blues.
But he was Gods child.
She wore thick glasses and had freckles.

She had pony tails and wore braces.
She was pear shaped with unsightly wrinkles.
She wore orthopedic shoes with a bad aroma.
But she was Gods child.
He had an ugly face and had grubby hands,

He was a poor boy from a large family.
He didn't have many friends, he was misunderstood.
He hung upon a cross, pierced between two ugly thieves.
But He was Gods child.
Yes, He was Gods child.
-----------------------------------------------------
253
I feel for what I know
i do not want to but i do

i feel for what i know
and i know that this truth i see is a lie
the truth... my heart... so black
i know the truth, it should set me free

im reaching for the stars
but grind my teeth on sandy shores
the moonglow of your hope dances upon me
the sun, showed me your promise

solemn, so wise yet contrite
im not getting anywhere... and fast
looking to knowledge's vast frontier
in the investigation of common sense

i reveal nothing but this senseless quest
sparkling and true, intense and anew
show me your foolishness, i give you my brain
in the thoughts of lost wisdom

i feel for what i know
and also for what i do not...
i feel, and fear rides away...
on eagles wings.
-----------------------------------------------------
254
Veil
My trip to heaven was short

but I threw it away
On two shots of clay
I want to be that man
My mind isn't where it should be
It is buried in her bosom
think, think, think, think, think
play it loud
Alright, Alright Alright already
Ice pick to the Ice cube
chip away, chip away, chip away
until the Neanderthal thaws
and comes back to life
to find himself trapped in a world
that he does not understand
like I
do not understand these thin walls
I can see them, can they see me?
I scream and claw
make me a promise
don't scream.
You see, I can give you whatever
your heart wishes, all you have to do
is cross over that veil
but no, I say no.
-----------------------------------------------------
255
Save Me
(With thoughts to an old friend gone on before)
Save me! Won't you save me?

Save me from my wicked self!
And save me from the love of wealth!
Lord, save me! Won't you save me?

I know some things that I might do!
Help me give those things up too!
Save me! Please, please save me!
From all these things that happen!

And from all those that almost do!
Lord, save me! Won't you save me?

Save me from the bottle and from cancer sticks!
Save me from red hot lovers and worthless chicks!
Save me from the love of knowledge!
Lord, save me from sarcasm!
Save me! Please save me!
And step by step you'll lead me. . .
-----------------------------------------------------
256
To the girls
Mexicans, Louisianans, and Michiganders
Hello, Hello it's me again.

It's me your warm and furry friend.
Paulywatamus you can call me.
Your smile throughout the day.
This poem or this song is for

those who receive, those who adore
the loving way he does now show
his adoration for you.
My heart now beats with life and blood

immersing me with crimson flood
as Jesus rips away my pride
a sacrifice for better.
My walls come down like Jericho

exposing every beaten foe
and burning all the false gods
the smoke blackens the sky.
A humble vessel I'm trying for

but please accept a pot that's poor
I'm trying to apologize
for inconvenience.
My reason is both plain and dull

when viewed eyes come from the skull
but enlightened eyes will see the truth
as realization dawns in.
I love you all, yes understand

I've tied the knots with rubber bands
stretched them to the limit
but they burst beneath my fingers.
I love you all, this much is fine

but he loves you so much more than I
I'm not worth my weight in pounds
I walked until I drowned.
Please forgive me for when I fall

and help me get back on the ball
I'm trying hard and most of all
I'm learning how to trust him.
Each one of you is special too

though special pink or special blue
without your colors there wouldn't be
the rainbow of your love.
Choose wisely and so make your choice

which color stands out like your voice
for colors we are meant to be
to paint the nations for him.
-----------------------------------------------------
257
Ma-Kay
And between us lies a chasm...

...so vast and far and wide...
that no man dare set foot across...
...and large and great and steep...
only those who make the journey...
...so swift so sure so right...
towards the end, they shall travel...
...with love with lord with light...
These regrets I have...

Poetry never read...
Grand kids never played with...
Smiles never given...
hugs never taken...
phone calls that were shortened...
Lord make me have
regrets no longer...
I wonder what Heaven is like...

...with dancing flowers...singing streams...
I wonder what colors are there...
...for swooping eagles...playful trees...
I wonder what the angels do...
...about big lions...brilliant leaves...
I wonder what mom's doing now...
...at Jesus' hands...Jesus' feet...
-----------------------------------------------
258
Shocking
Death thrilling
Spine tingling
Hard cases wrack the air with tongues of authority
Love shocking the door of reality
Love is perfect
God knocking on your Hells door
Yonder spills the torment of imagination
Reckon with death no more
Where is deaths victory or sting
Jah hangs Satans bloodied head from a pike
Jah is perfect
And He is invincible
-----------------------------------------------
259
Sojourn
Travel to a town, learn to live

Travel gently, Sometimes gently
Leaning on the everlasting strength
Learning to live,
An insect crawls... you wonder
can I crawl as well?
I wish we could crawl that well
We might learn humility.
Traveling to a town.
To learn to grow.
A sojourn of apostolic faith.
A sojourn of love.
Psychopathic love.
Weird affection.
I travel to the town, I learn to live
but not from the law
but from the Lord
I wish I could call
I wish I could crawl
I wish I could wander into the arms
I wish I could wander into the strength.
I travel to a town
The town of faith.
-----------------------------------------------
260
Laughter
As the dust rose, the thoughts running around in my head were not good ones. Thoughts of
why? What purpose? For what reason had this man died? Silly thoughts. Stupid thoughts.
Unreasonable thoughts. Thoughts that shouldn't be there. Invading my mental privacy. Taking
up wasted space.
The heat. The dust. The dead body just laying there... half covered in stones. This whole thing
stinks. Stinking. The unpleasant smell of this whole situation burns my nostrils. Well? What
could I do? What was done is done! But here I was. Here I was and I couldn't deny that. I
looked at my hands. The rock I was going to throw lay at my feet. But... but I had thrown two
others. One to the body and another to the...
I wiped my hands on my cloak furiously. I looked up to see if anyone noticed. One had. A small
thin man... with eyes... piercing eyes as hard and as cold as metal. He was looking at me. I
looked away. Turning back I glanced toward the city gate. I had better be getting home. I should
have already started... but I couldn't get those thoughts out of my head. That man that died... His
face, His voice. Dear God, the things he said... they were still ringing in my ears! They were so...
so...
I shook it from me. I couldn't think here... got to get home, then maybe I could think straight.
Confusing... too confusing. I started to leave. Suddenly the man I had seen grabbed me. I turned
to face him. I started to ask him what he wanted when... when he started.
He started laughing. A deep laugh. A sick laugh... He laughed...
Dear God!... He was laughing!
-----------------------------------------------------
261
My Father...
Lord, please shatter...

this granite hard encasement...
they built around me...
thick timbered walls...
slick with the sweat of insanity...
break this box...
it is all I know...
demon bastards surround...
they are fatherless...
but you are my Father...
and you were the only...
you were the only one...
immaculate...
oh precious savior...
perpetually divine...
shatter the myth...
of your...
birth...
-------------------------------------------------------
262
Frivolous Cow
I saw a frivolous cow today

dancing among the daisies
How rare is that
could she have been stung by a bee
But traipsing gaily upon the field
merrily to market
I saw a frivolous cow today
and was reminded of God
-------------------------------------------------------
263
Witness Eye
Lightning flashed across the sky

I am the voice of a thousand
Calling, the wind carries the sound
on the clefts of desire, I respond
Thunder rolled across the land
And I am the voice of a thousand
The curtain was torn from top to twain

And the dead were raised that day
Some weary women watched it all
Trembling and bewildered they fled the tomb
And thunder rolled across the land
For they are the voice of a thousand
False ones shall rise, they all shall fall

Three times Two thousand is this world old
Five times Four hundred in each two thousand
And the covenant rang out from the hills
From the sky, the shatter rent the Earth
and we are the voice of a thousand
----------------------------------------------------------
264
The time has come

(Inspired by DJ Dove and the Dynamic Twins)
Brothers:
The time has come!
These are the last days of America.
God told Abraham...

God told Noah...
Brothers, America's dying.
And once again today,

God is speaking loud and clear that
The time has come...
America's been released to judgment.

America is dying,
But Zion is rising.
-------------------------------------------------------
265
Sun/Son Shine
Beneath the warm summer glow

Gods fragrance breezes
Gods flowers bloom
Springs fresh do flow
Waters sweet and pure
But it is not the rain or the dew
That make the birds sing
It is not the turf under
That makes the grass springy
It is not the sunshine at all
But it is the Sonshine
Sonshine for the soul
Sonshine grows us all

-------------------------------------------------------
266
World Denial
The jungle of emotions the world displays

contains no hope whatsoever
Lust
Hatred
Denial
These are their lights
They share their message with us
And we vomit
When we stumble
They offer the advice of the blind
And we die
Our only hope is Christ

Above all else He persists
Above all else He heals
While the world fades away
fades...
-------------------------------------------------------
267
Backpedal
(St. Jean le Baptist)
Arise ye sons of sloths

Repent and be purged
Who has warned you of your doom?
Because you are a legion of vipers
All that is required is forgiveness
All that is needed is remission
The eyes of the Lord are upon you
It is He that comes with Fire
It is He who comes with the Spirit
Make straight every road

Raise up valleys, Tear down mountains
Destroy every careless, fearful yoke
With death you come to the waters
With life, you go to the sky
In the name of the YHWH
In the name of his Messiah
In obedience, the mystery will come
In the name of the Spirit-over-the-waters
It is only natural that your life comes
When you believe and say it aloud
It is natural that you should give it away
Be ye baptized... Be ye...
Only one thing I ask you
Be unclean, if you will, outside
But be cleansed, become clean: Inside
And to show the world
Be ye...
Baptized
-------------------------------------------------------
268
Eudaly of late
Today is going to be the day that I come home

Tomorrow is the day that I start working on my future
The yesteryears of my past lay on the dusty floor forsaken

Yesterday was the day that my mother died.
The shutter of her death-spasm rivets my soul
We pulled the plug

We carried her on
From life to life
From this one to the next
So these days I think about the future

What I shall become
Where will I go
What will become of my life
Why did she die

Everyone dies
I, the minister
Dad, the lawyer
Tim, the accountant
She left in good hands

Knowing where she was going
Unlike me, I don't know what to do
Left in Gods plan

Left in Jesus' hands
What do I do
But cry?
--------------------------------------------------------
269
if I could tell you anything

(this is my promise ver.1.2)
This is my promise, these are my dreams.

We are His people; flesh, bone, and blood.
Father, Son, Spirit; Jesus my Lord.
I love you Lord Jesus, yet more and more.
If i could say anything

I'd say: I love you
Crazy and lonely, whispered and true

Feelings still dream on: feelings of you
Father of all things, stupid and true
I'll love you always. I'll always love you.
What does my love mean?

It means all to you
The smell of the alter, the scent of His love.

The blood that now covers, through Gods holy son.
He wants us to be with Him, and live with Him everyday.
Walking beside him, to never forsake.
Happiness or solitude
You are ever my Zion.
-------------------------------------------------------
270
Pint Sized Souls
faces that are too pretty

girls that don't care at all
make-up smeared on like a mask
smiles as fake as their breasts
pint sized souls with weary eyes

gorilla sized lust, pheromones honed
i do not want to be raped
by such disgusting a creature
i find lifeless hearts

i find used emotions
it's funny
they aren't what i was looking for
i like those women

who need knowledge of God
instead of carnal knowledge
i like those ladies

who fear the Lord
instead of the fashion critic
for the fear of the Lord

is the beginning of wisdom
and wise are the minds

who find Him
-------------------------------------------------------
271
Dear Jim
I'm sorry that you have died

When Carolyn called and said that you went
When Dick said that you went
I didn't want to believe it
But is it true that you would leave
And go up to the heavens
Without saying goodbye?
Is it true that you committed the unthinkable?
Your parents won't tell anyone
Nor will the coroner
It seems like a bad movie
Like Scream, where it's a movie...
...pretending not to be one.
Jim, you always sought after

peace of mind, and now it seems...
...you've finally found it.
-------------------------------------------------------
272
Mourning Thyme
If by might, stand firm and fight

If through flight, by all means flee
But if by God, then stand your ground
Salvation comes in the morning
We weary souls bloodied and torn

We cleave at rocks, we grasp at straws
But we know where victory comes
Salvation comes from the hand of God
God, yes God
Despite our hopes and dreams

We ran till they cut the strings
We weary souls, clinging to hope
We fight until our fight is gone
Gone, yes gone
We lay our swords down to rest

We weary souls have done our best
The past behind, looking ahead
Salvation comes...
in the morning
--------------------------------------------------------
273
Nuances of Foibles
- Topics of the Letters of Brother Lawrence -
Conversion is precious employment.

Let us be satisfied in God's presence.
Faith is our duty.
Being resigned to the fruit of watchfulness.
Love is the motive of all.
We were once in fear, now in joy.
Diligence and love.
Simplicity is the key to Divine assistance.
Conducting business abroad as at home.
Times of prayer and self-mortification not essential for the
practice.
All scruples brought to God.
Faith works by love.
Outward business is no detriment.
Perfect resignation is the sure way.
The manner of going to God.
Hearty renunciation as a lifestyle.
Prayer and praise prevent discouragement.
Sanctification in common business, is common business.
Prayer and the presence of God.
The whole substance of religion.
Self-estimation.
Further personal experience.
How the habitual sense of God's Presence was found.
Difference between himself and others.
Faith alone consistently and persistently.
Deprecates this state being considered a delusion.
Format Copyright 2003 by pauly
-------------------------------------------------------
274
Restitution for the soul
Begins with the here

Ends with Forgiveness
And is enfleshed in Jesus
Alive in my soul
Revived in my emotions
Faint and faulty
But willing to trust
Myself,
My God,
My Wife,
(did I mention myself?)
Begins with the now
Ending with Completeness
And is enfleshed in my heart
-------------------------------------------------------
275
Discotheque
The beat pounds and my

sweat drips on the girl in front
and the guy beside her dirty-eyes me
i just dance and dance not caring

what these flesh-grabbers seek
because i do not seek the same
pulse beat pulse beat
and jungle-techno throbs spins

wildly breaking out in sound formation
and i dance and sweat
i just dance and dance not caring
and my worries melt and drift away
with my sweat in steaming rivulets
dance dance dance dance
and i shall it seems, i'm that pink bunny

you know, the one with the drum
still going and going and going
as my worries drift farther away

i've breathed and pumped and stomped
and let the fears drift away as the steam
drifts when i step outside
-------------------------------------------------------
276
of trickery and licorice
In the beginning of all beginnings

the dawn of creations dawn
the three made all turf
the three made the soil to rule
two clones and one creation
and
the one forms his army
from the outcast of the soil
warriors and druids and magi
the three prepare a land of plenty
the one prepares a rock of hatred
so
the one challenged the three
the soil sought to stop him
the three accepted the ones duel
they met on neutral rock
the one knew every trick
but
the three created every trick
and made more than than that
the one saw a supposed flaw
and took supposed advantage
with help from the magi and such
then
the three separated
and dissipated and left
leaving the two alone
and the one laughed
for the three had died for soil
...
"terror plagued the night
darkness met the sky
warmth taken out of light
all hope had bled dry
but we did not cry"
...
goodness met the day
with the morning dew
and upon two days nights
darkness was no more
for soil had come to life
for
the three were alive yet
and gave unto the soil
power to rule and conquer
and the one has been
six underground since
since
since the soil took over
-------------------------------------------------------
277
Plot to kill Caesar
... Life
.
... Fragrance
.
... One Mississippi
... Two Mississippi
.
. . . falsity
. . . decay
.
... Togetherness
.
... Fragrance
.
. murder
.
..... We all go down together
et tu' brute?

-------------------------------------------------------
278
Belief in God
>>For Bullet Hibbler, and the rappers in all of us<<
Too many people walkin the streets

Too many problems for man to meet
Well where is God? So far away...
He is not far, but he's here today
I met a lady who was 8 months pregnant

She did not know if she should kill it or keep it
got in her face and said: "Don't get thrown."
"God is still god, no matter how much we know."
Too many people, too many problems

Alone is man, Where is God to help him?
But where is God? Is he so far away?
No, he is with us, he is here today!
God is here today

doesn't matter what I did or said
God is here today
So do I run? I think I'll fight instead
God is on his way
He's coming soon, and it might just be
Today!
Too many problems, so many people

Too little money, where does life keep you?
Here is the church, Here is the steeple...
Open the door, where's all the people???
I saw a guy who was reading his Bible

I saw his life fall around him in shambles
He knew about it, He dreamed about it
But it wasn't till then that he did something about it!!!
So many people, so many Christians

So little time left, let's go and get them.
Do they believe God? Do they still know Him?
Church, what is with us? Why don't we tell them?!?
-------------------------------------------------------
279
walls and love

The building of the pyramid
lifes walls growing higher
higher until
(fell
down
all)
like Jericho, the Lord destructs
like Eden, the Spirit constructs
goodbye to walls, and evil debt
they coast and glide away
like burning plastic in the eyes
goodbye oh strong fortress of fear
goodbye to those higher walls
higher until
(fell
down
all)
like Jericho, they said goodbye
deep into the ground they sank
sank, sunk, sink, fell down all
like Eden, the Spirit constructs
build me a castle with no walls
-------------------------------------------------------
280
L.I.F.T.
vIrTue and praIse

honor and gLory
From The LIFTIng
The joyous persuasIon oF
a rIghTeous pursuIT
The spLendor and royaLTy
oF LIFTs wonderFuL FruIT
vIrTue and praIse
honor and gLory
From The LIFTIng
The LIFTIng oF souL
purpose
mInd
song
The breaThLess abandon oF
LIFes reckLess quesT
The purITy and hoLIness oF
hearTbeaT In chesT
vIrTue and honor
praIse and gLory
From The LIFTIng
The LIFTIng oF joy
Freedom
paTIence
The LIFTIng oF you
-------------------------------------------------------
281
Witness Mouth
(Isaiahs Fourth concerto)
Bel!
Great Bel, maker of stars!
Bow low!
Kiss the ground
mighty Nebo
you are lower than
You reflect Bel
You shall turn
You must turn
You ends of the Earth
Turn to me
Only
For Salvation
Only I am I
I am God
I am the One
By my words it
It shall
Shall be done
---------------------------------------------------------
282
I can feel your love, I know I can
Daily bread for the followers of the worlds society

give us our daily bread for we say that we are perishing
we say that we are poor, but is poverty in our minds...
or is it more that it is in our hearts
We are raped by the societies ills

We are overcome by the grievances of tragedy
five percent of all i need is wrapped up in the world
the
~~~~~~~~fill this in~~~~~~

ve...
Or perhaps it is the love needed by my heart...
-------------------------------------------------------
283
More Wind and another Breath of God
The dawn broke

out over the town
and the trees celebrated
the glory of it
The day cried out

Here I am
and the fog lifted
despising it
The birds sang happily

and sun streamed into
my musty bedroom
illuminating it
And I awoke
remembering the past
and the dreams vanished
like the night-time
The day was upon me

The moon had vanished
and the glory of God
had been reborn
upon the Earth
once again
-------------------------------------------------------
284
A laughing face destroyed by a normal life
I cry for the pain

I cry for the ignorance
I cry for the blindness
God have mercy
Abortion is wrong
Abortion is mean
Abortion is slaughter
I cry for those

who cannot
for themselves
God have mercy upon those

who choose to kill another person
because they are in the way of a normal life
-------------------------------------------------------
285
Task of the leader

(inspired by Dick Foust and the pain of)
Hire people smarter than you are

Find out your talents inside
Loving makes you look better
Surround yourself with free thinkers
Fear will destroy all you've worked for
Envy will destroy your company
Is it your company or Gods anyway
Encourage employees to exceed you
Don't limit your staffs imagination
Fire all of your "Yes" men
Admit your failures readily
Be a touchable and reachable person
Ask for constructive criticism
And take it like a man
Listen and understand, don't assume
Delegate responsibility don't dump
Don't use people, let them feel useable
Trust and be secure in your work force
You know, it's amazing what

can be accomplished, when you
never worry about who gets the credit
Public Domain
-------------------------------------------------------
286
Little Girl
You are a little girl
shrouded in beauty
enwrapped in mystery
yet you love me
because i am nice
i don't understand
why you care so much
for a little boy like me
when you have all yourself
to worry about everyday
You are alluring

A countess
A mysterious charmer
that vexes my heart bare
I am nothing you need

I am small and impure
I will hurt you
If you come too close
Yet you smile

and wiggle your toes
when i make you laugh
with my stories
Why do you love me

little girl?
-------------------------------------------------------
287
Come on!
Come on Ghost, flow through me!

Show me how I'm your man!
Fill me up and set me free!
Loose me Lord, so I can stand!
Let your fruits grow strong in me!
I want to use your mighty power!
Let your gifts flow over me!
This is the time and now the hour!
Father of light shine down on me!
Let me get to know the one!
Burn my sin and set me free!
You are the Spirit of the Son!
You're the only one for me!
Son and Father all in one!
Spirit, Spirit, true and free!
The Ghost unto the world has come!
On me I want to feel your hand!
Father oh God, you sir, are Lord!
Use me to show your wondrous plan!
Pierce my dark soul with your sword!
Bring a mighty wave of love!
Kill the world, but save the earth!
Drown all sin almighty dove!
Into my heart your plan is birthed!
Jesus, you're my caring friend!
I'll be with you until the end!
Father, you're my only love!
Send your Spirit like a dove!
Comforter, you holiest ghost!
Fill me now with all your host!
-------------------------------------------------------
288
I'm 53
I'm fifty-three and scared,

remembering Vietnam.
I know that's where they took me,
to the concentration camp.
My birthday is on Tuesday,
just like it was back then.
I look back and remember.
that Charlie didn't care.
I was twenty-three and scared,

remembering back home.
My Father was the preacher,
of a small town Baptist church.
He told me life was precious,

He said: "Hang on to God.".
He preached that when things got bad,
God would take your hand.
I'm fifty-three and scared,

but God still lives in me.
That is what saved my soul,
when I was twenty-three.
-------------------------------------------------------
289
Childhood
A flower died
- I cried
I remember tricycles
- Spinning
They came and went
- And I sat
I wanted a friend
- Just one
But no one ever came
- For me
--------------------------------------------------------
290
Lower
No I don't have a knife

No I don't have a gun
But lower me into your net-scape,

and let me interview your soul
-------------------------------------------------------
291
Threatened slumber
poets die. writers cry. christians try.

we don't know why sometimes, we just do
pursuing an unobtainable goal possibly
i think that we can and should obtain
we should grasp, threaten, reach and strain
to win
we walk fight and struggle and die

we race, we die
we cry we die
we try why? we die
we climb we die
we strive we die
we defend rescind, offend, descend and die
no one but
GOD
knows...
...now i shall sleep
-------------------------------------------------------
292
resistance
When the other prophets are saying the same thing that is not truth.
Micaiah said "As surly as God lives, I can only speak what is truth."
And Zedikiah will you now slap God in the face for bearing the truth?
For the Lord is One and the evil spirit He placed in you was not truth.
Israel says to Judah, "Here is one who hates me as well as the truth."
False prophets echoing your own personal desires is not reality truth.
Reality is the fact that all things just and pure resistant all non - truth.
Ahab, now as you are pulled from battle you realize that there is truth.
Now your son will fall to his death

His kingdom will be devoured in flames.
And your lineage will not pass from him.

For resistance to truth is suicide.
Poor, poor Zedikiah.
-------------------------------------------------------
293
Lord, you are Lord
Lord guide me
Surely hide me
make me an instrument
submitted to you
Lord Guide me
In your heart hide me
Take all my emptiness
And fill me with you
You alone, You are Lord

Upon the highest of the Heavens
You alone, You are Lord
Above the Cherubim
And Oh Lord, We'll Worship You

From the Beginning to the end of time
You exist, and Lord you reign
Above creation
Take my heart, Lord take my hands

And do with me what you will
You're my God, You are my King
Now and forevermore
Most Holy Lord, You are my Lord

My heart longs after none other
Lord, You alone, You are my Lord
And I will worship you
-----------------------------------------------------
294
Woman Blues
Why is there always that jealousy?

When can I drown out my apathy?
I will never have control.
I will always take the toll.
So I cry and I fret and I pray,

Waiting for God...
To take the girlie blues away.
Is there not always a judgment?

Can I spend all my allotment?
She will never take me there.
No matter who or when or where.
So I cry and strive and I chafe,

Looking to God...
To take my women blues away.
-------------------------------------------------------
295
Pursu... ance
Accordions, colors
Four directions green and gold of
chasing a broken
wind in all of mold
circles bitten by an
lying autumnal snake
living this
breathing could
difference, life changing be
end up in Heavens gate the
step first
ste p time
se you
bas know life and
ti pursuance
ons greek love
condition worsens and yours as
pursuance... well
life well trimmed beards and
changing bloody indians by the side of
resurrection? the highway: like Jims vision
Yes, flood gate children will die
crashing, rescue me! with or without
God visions
God take hear t
God they waste away with
hallways out God
slick If my child
with will live
the sweat of insanity God God God God God God God God
murky love and I
anger and questions... will
take heart, serve
He shall live. you always.
-------------------------------------------------------
296
There is none
Majestic prince so rich and fare,

Thou art as lovely as lovely be.
Oh worthy King so bold and stout,
You are my hero and my good friend.
Most worthy Lord so clean and slick,
Is your hand rivaled in any realm?
For none is as holy Lord, none is as righteous Lord,
None is as worthy as you my King!
Forever let us declare your worth and sing!
Dynamic Jesus, you're always there,
You are full of grace and charity.
Profound Father there is no doubt,
There is not one thing that you cannot do.
Holiest Spirit, cut to the quick,
sanctify me by your holy hand.
For none is as holy Lord, none is as righteous Lord,
None is as worthy as you my King!
Forever let us declare your worth and sing!
None is as Holy Lord
None is as righteous Lord.
None is as worthy... My King.
-----------------------------------------------------
297
Sins of clergy
Preachers are so prideful

Seeing what they see
Doing what they do
Accountable to who?
No one sees...
No one cares
No one believes
What they do
Or who they are
Who are they anyway,
These masters of our destiny?
These shepherds of our souls?
Why do they deserve our money,
Why do they deserve our gratitude?
Why do we deserve their time?
Why do we deserve God at all?
Perhaps the real question would be,
Why am I so concerned with them...
When I should be concerned with myself?
-------------------------------------------------------
298
working title: painful eyes
Her eyes hid her pain

The thoughts of so long ago
When she locked her car and went inside
and her husband was with another
She lies awake, in the dead of the night.
Sniffing the pillows, thinking of him.
crying, deciding, thinking out loud.
wondering why, wondering how.
wondering when, if ever, even now.
Her eyes hid her pain
But her heart did not hide.
It gave her away.
It begged and it cried.
Thoughts that are gone.
gone long ago.
she remembers yesterday.
and she will remember, tomorrow.
-------------------------------------------------------
299
Here...
lonely depressed
rejected
I sit, it rains
I work (the pain)
no one comes or cares
they leave
with the tornadoes they ..... leave
my wife and I pray
we cry night
and day for this world
these people
our vision
they leave we cleave
<thunderstrikesand rolls likethe peal of pain>
my heat breaks, we try
so long
hard
much sometimes
Jesus pushes pain away, not
a symptom solver but a
disease destroyer my God
when will my heart ever turn
into a church
?
-------------------------------------------------------
300
Little Jesus Nursery Rhyme
Jesus loves me every day.

And his help is on the way.
God is only true and good.
He keeps me from all falsehood.
Jesus points the only way.

I'll be with him in Heaven one day.
The thief on the cross repented true.
He died for me and died for you.
Jesus loves me every day.

And his help is on the way.
God is only true and good.
He keeps me from all falsehood.
-----------------------------------------------------
301
The Indonesian Sibling:
Brother Tim
Timotheusophity-pot
I remember the funny things you said
on the way home from church.
You were a weird one all right.

Not as weird as me I guess.
I think that you would have made a fine
Alligator.
I mean, that's what you wanted

to be when you grew up.
You carried a purse around
until we convinced you that
purses were for girls.
Say: “Born Indonesia”

Like Bruce Springsteen
You sat down one day at your

red metal desk determined
to count to one million
on paper!
You only reached a couple

of thousand.
Your card collections,

Your Mario High Score
Your friendship with Benji.
The turtles behind the shed

The sandbox in the backyard.
I saved your life at the oil pit Tim,

You are in debt.
Yet your friendship was what saved me.

Even when I wouldn't let you hug me
when I was mad.
Your debt is forgiven.
Tim, you are still that little boy that

ran away to Safeway all alone.
Yet you have returned with toys.
I return to you, my brother.
You are the safe-way in my heart.
Just don't drink the water.
-------------------------------------------------------
302
Bus Stop
Forsaken not forgotten

he stood
she stood
they stood
together
while it rained
and all their thoughts
were as one
were as two
were together
together
while it rained
their love entwined

their souls
their hearts
their minds
as the rain came
and came
lights that came by

shown on
glowed on
splashed on
as they waited there
at the bus stop
and all the while

they waited
they prayed
they hoped
that the bus would
be on time
but they hated

getting wet
so they decided
to share their umbrella
with each other
at the bus stop
until the bus came
Copyright 2003 by paul
303
I built a real city out of my super-blocks,

And my dog can say the alphabet
BACKWARDS!
Mr. Skinner (he's my teacher)

He won like some Peace Prize or something
I hate math, 'cause I can always
count on my fingers if I have to.
And I love God too...

'Cause anybody that can talk
to dinosaurs has got to be
REALLY SMART!!!
-------------------------------------------------------
304
Death by Stereo
Throb, Pulse, Beat.

Electric Death.
Breathing, Blaring.
Death by Stereo.
Beat the Drums.
Play the Chords.
Feel the Pulse.
Rock the Bass.
Raise the Roof.
Breathing, Beating.
Death by Stereo.
I died by stereo
and was taken
away and
resurrected
into heaven
to be with
Jesus.
----------------------------------
305
T-town Busybody
Back in town, stuff to do

I guess I'll wear my friday shoes
I'm feeling fine, it's 12:09
I sure am glad that I don't whine
I'm doing well, I thought I would
The Lord sure covers like a hood
The air, the breeze, the friday trees
The sun, it stings like maddened bees.
The air is hot, the wind is dead
A sun-ache pounding in my head
I'm 23, my age does lie...
I'll live till until I'm 1-2-5.
I've seen and done enough for two
or three or four or five plus you
But stuff to do, people to see
Try not to think about dads pear tree
I've got the car, the friends, the house
And at the club, I saw a mouse.
-------------------------------------------------------
306
Inch by Inch
For He who knows to walk on water need never drown

For She who knows to fly, need never falter
And for they who know to trust, need never fear
Blind faith it was, and always seemed to be

But true faith is always this blind it seems
You, me and Jesus complete
As one sweeps the other of each others feet
There were two roads their distance untold

Both climbing a mountainous path so old
Each bearing its' traveler, weathered and bruised
Pilgrims of promise, in a barren land used
So inch by slow inch, they walked their course

Ever so slowly towards their common source
And knowing it not, their paths grew to one
And from that day forth, their lives together spun
For He who knows to walk on water need never drown

For She who knows to fly, need never falter
And for they who know to trust, need never fear
Blind faith it was, and always seemed to be

But true faith is always this blind it seems
Me, you and Jesus complete
As one sweeps the other of each others feet
It's asking for the taking
--------------------------------------------------
307
Parable Twist
To whom much is given,

much is expected back.
And that man to whom,
much is expected back.
It is expected back upon demand.
But the man who is given nothing

nothing is expected back.
And that man to whom nothing was taken,
nothing is given back.
But if he does give, it is not rejected.
So I ask a question,
which gives back more?
He who was given 1 million, and returned 10 million,
or he that was given nothing
and returned only 1.
I tell you the truth...

He who returned back 1 gave more...
...and such is the kingdom of Heaven...
-------------------------------------------------------
308
one-two-one
Then, as I lifted my eyes to the hills I wondered

where help was going to come from.
But then I remembered the Lord who made
the heavens and the earth's form,
He will never let my foot slip and He
that watches me never sleeps
He who watches over Israel never rests;
He never lets fall those He keeps:
For the Lord is watching over me!
The Lord is a comfort at my right hand!
The sun will never be able to harm me,
and against Him, the moon cannot stand.
Jehovah will always keep me from harm.
He watches over my life!
The Lord will watch as I come and go,
both now, and forever; in my life.
-------------------------------------------------------
309
Ann, Matt, and Tiffany

The missionary friends
Flower of the morning. Light of His eyes.
You are the one that He chose for His sight.
You are a someone. You are His joy.
He loves you always. Still you wonder why.
Where am I going? What will I be?
Don't you just wonder? So don't disagree.
In all of your sorrow. In all of your grief.
Your Heavenly Father knows what you need.
Star of the daylight. Comet.

You are the east flame shining forth. Piercing.
Your light shines on the evil of mankind. Destroying.
Your touch of wisdom surpasses the world. Prophet.
Has anyone told you they love you today?

They do, and when all else is eaten away,
there is one that always does.
The arm of strong faith to lean on.
Strong tower of sleek refuge.
The sword of the Lord and of victory.
---------------------------------------
310
Shenandoah
Friends are rare

Friends are few
Friend to me
not to you
Friends are friends
if you've got cash
Necessities gone
it's backlash
When funds are low
Fake friends blow
Different faces
Crazy places
Many people
different people
True friends are
hard to part
but life's too short
to have too few.
-------------------------------------------------------
311
The beauty of Shenandoah
Lifes treasures are clay

like the vessels that hold them
not jewels nor gold
but plain and common
like us... you
Beauty is selfish,
seeking it's own
always
Lifes precious hand deals
only once
and always
We choose what we feel
We seek what we want
We know what we think
but it is futile, vain, insane
Flowers, Meadows, and our reflection
Sunshine, Bumblebees and Moonlight
These are common...
... and these are beauty.
-------------------------------------------------------
312
Piddle
Piddle. Paddle. Fiddle. Faddle.

Working around the clock.
Trying to write a book.
I'm really not a crook.
I'm trying to write a book.
Knocking off my block.
Fiddle. Faddle. Piddle. Paddle.
Winky. Dink. Shrinky. Dink.

Trying to beat the rush.
Forming words on the page.
Trying to make words from rage.
I'm forming words on the page.
Doing a brain-cleanse flush.
Shrinky. Wink. Dinky. Shrink.
Wilba. Tokin. Popin. Knockin.

On the typewriter with a peck.
Massaging my aching neck.
I'm trying to write a book.
Pages flow, what the heck.
On the typewriter with a peck.
Popin. Tokin. Opin. Glopin.
Pauly B. Hart
Right from the start.
-----------------------------------------------------
313
the letter
homeless, jobless, wifeless, and with thirty eight cents he sat at the computer in the library
wondering what to do. he was sleepy and his stomach kept growling... what to do. where to go.
who to talk to. the library closes at six. not a clue as to what to do after that. his wet clothes were
drying on top of the tv in his car. the lady at the gas station had given him a free pop. the picture
of his (until this morning) wife lay next to the keyboard. he cried. all that money, and i am left on
the street. it's a good thing that she hadn't gotten ahold of her boyfriend, and a good thing that
she didn't own a gun. he would be dead, with only his poetry left behind in this aweful, terrible
world he now sat contemplating. please God... help me, he cried. people in the library stared. he
didn't care. they didn't know. he could be on the beach now. he could be working at the c-store
back home, he could have been anywhere, but instead he had insisted on that woman. the
woman with whom he had shared so much. love. pain. betrayal.
he wakes up and realises that it had all been a trap. and he had fallen for it. again.
---------------------------------------------------
314
What America said to me
"Plant and grow a garden of happiness in your soul",

was said as I pondered over my life.
"Yes, a garden of love and optimism",
she told me over the phone.
and I got to thinking about a great many number of things...
How would the garden grow?

Where would i keep the roses?
What would I do with the results?
Why have a garden in the first place?
And she said that gardens were nice

And that is where bumblebees live
And children are happy
And all your dreams come true
and that got me thinking again...
Why a garden?
Not a plaza or a nice atrium?
Are gardens that much more important?
Why me? Why my soul?
And she told me that I love people

And that I care
And I bring smiles to her face
And when we talk, I brighten her day
and that made me wonder some more...
Why does she care about my soul?

Why does she talk to me?
Do I really deserve such a nation?
Do I love her as much as she loves me?
And she smiled, and looked away.

And America blushed when I kissed her.
And she told me her pains and sorrows.
And I told her that I cared.
and now I don't wonder anymore...
----------------------------------------------------
315
Bride
The Love of my life has sprung out from behind the bushes and tackled me. We run together
in the grass. We pick flowers and put them in our hair. We frolic and dance, play hide and seek,
chase squirrels, and skip stones across a quiet creek. We run after frogs, catch butterflies and
dare each other to eat worms. We swing from vines hanging from trees, run up hills and roll down
the other side. We lay and watch the clouds go by, trying to find elephants in the sky. You see,
He is my husband, and I am His bride, and our love for each other is never-ending. He is bold
and daring, suave and handsome, and rich and charming. He is the king of all these lands. Both
He and His Father rule this land with justice and mercy. He loves all, but I am His own, and we
are enraptured with each other. Nothing can tear us apart. For He is my very heart beat. And I
am His. I am my beloved's', and yes, He is mine; and His banner over me is love.
--------------------------------------
316
Poison Ivy
As the scream of terror wracks my convulsing body, I suddenly realize that all my efforts have
been in vain to find the quiet resting spot of glory. I find that no matter how hard I try, I can never
overcome the wanton disabilities of my writhing soul. I can never shake these diseased limbs to
life. As I mop the chilly sweat from my brow, I realize my wrong.
Poison Ivy.
----------------------------------------
317
Just a boy
This is just a song

Written out in words
Of how I love you
You will always be my first
I am just a boy
Looking out for himself
But now that I've found you
I am wanting something else
I love you
There's no denying that
I love you
That's a matter of fact
Oh I love you
And you will always be the one
I run to
I want to
To love you
-----------------------------------------------------
318
Lafayette
I guess I'm stuck in Lafayette once again.

It seems like it has become a welcome friend.
I tried to leave here once with my closest friend.
But I'm stuck in Lafayette once again.
It was the first time that I met her.

She was red haired, freckled, tall..
Pronouncing truth just like an angel.
A Latte' dream here for fall.
I said: "Howdy, how ya doin?"
She said: "Fine there, How 'bout you?"
I said: "Great, I like your freckles."
And she turned red from head to shoe.
Now we're northbound for St. Paul,

In the beat up Volkswagen.
'Till we broke down on the highway.
You can tell we're on the ball.
We called help, it wasn't coming.

Just our luck, it started raining.
Now the van is just a lifeboat,
And we're stuck in Lafayette.
I guess we're stuck in Lafayette once again.

It seems like pain has become our closest friend.
We tried to leave here once with nothing but a grin.
Getting stuck in Lafayette over again.
-----------------------------------------------------
319
Any Time
You caught me unawares when you said that light was being forced down on me
...Tickles ran up my spine and landed when you kissed me
...Bit my wrist and loved it and called me telepathic and kind
You are one to be touched and held and flirted with
How could I believe something you said
The actions you display are true
But are they accurate
Do you love me
Do you care
I wither
away
-----------------------------------------------------
320
An unhappy smile with sad eyes
-an unhappy smile with sad eyes

-that uncomfortable silence when we are both pretending to be asleep
-your expressions are not you. only that: expressions
-tired clouds breathe and drift away, but you are still numb with lifelessness
-a tunnel into blackness
-who, you?
<<anybody got a light?>>
-so you drive

-at least to accomplish SOMETHING
-i believe in you
-i wish is that you won't sell yourself short
-don't settle for a meager destiny
<<it's not what goes in, but what comes out>>

<<THAT is what makes you unclean>>
-----------------------------------------------------
321
the flower and the child

--for my amanda--
come walking in and love

come walking in
eyes and ears open to life
and universes collide in respite
with discretion and respite
sharp nosed talons of hatred
come walking in
scent and laughter wither them
with discretion and flowers
laughter sees immediately
the eyes and ears open to life
and flowers and children are common
in your wonderful kind of love
you told me i'm kind...
kind of what???
kind of scared
the kind that listens to you
and sighs with lostness
lost in your flabbergasting hope
lost in the immense joy of your smile
forever gone when you call me...
call me what???
call me sexy
----------------------------------------------
322
JesUSA
One day liberty will come

The blood will cry
Time will call
Generations will understand
They will see Gods hand
Small town U.S. of A.
John Deere Green
Fire Engine Red
School Bus Yellow
and Norman Rockwell.
What we fail to remember,
We are doomed to repeat...
Jesus is not just
some Baseball players name.
-----------------------------------------------------
323
Ah the run
It wasn't far the run I ran,

just down the block and past the van.
but breathing hard, I came back home
On Becky's birthday, on Saturday.
I sit out front, all alone.
Knowing that wind will make a cool day.
Ah the run, both short and sweet,

ended with my tired feet.
chest a-pounding, head a-thinking,
I need to take a good long bath.
I'm breathing better, I'll bet I'm stinking.
The days of love, I need to laugh.
The days of love, on this cool morning,

The fog has lifted, the birds are soaring.
The days of rain, from Gods green earth.
The trees, the bees, the air so clean.
Ah the run, I think with mirth,
can bind a man, or set him free.
-----------------------------------
324
Just because
Just because I love you

and just because you're true
I decided to write a sweet poem

and dedicate it just to you
I've used all the words I can

to tell you how I feel
Hopefully you'll realize

my emotions are for real
You're the love of my life

the sun on my face
These feelings I have

no one can erase
I'll love you my sweetheart

forever and a day
And not even time

can take that away
---------------------
325
For joy to see a pleasure is

If there could ever be a time,
where all my sorrows I could find;
If there would ever be a mine,
where all my hatred you could find;
It probably wouldn't be a pretty sight.
If every shoe in every place,
would represent the human race;
then for every single boy there would be a girl.
But for all the choices made,
and for all the cats who are spayed;
For every color we could call dark or light.
And some times life can pass us by,
like let go balloons in the sky,
or we may seem to seize and choke,
and see our life go up in smoke,
I feel so sick that I could just hurl.
Although this poem makes no sense,
I know with Christ I still have cents,
And everything I ever do,
Four doesn't just come from two and two.
But all the lyrics that are gone,
And all these thoughts put into song,
Cannot compare with the love between friends.
But life can sometimes make you miss
The best thing that can happen is this
A note, some hope, paper and ink
Sometimes I think my armpits stink
And I sure like my brown shoe strings
But relationships are vital
Of beating heart and pulsing blood
Create a flow of plasma flood
And even cows still chew their cud
You know I've really thought this over.
"The time has come", the walrus said,
"to talk of many things,
Of shoes and ships and sealing wax,
Of cabbages and kings."
You five, alive, with spark and spunk
Enough to make a dead dog bark
And cause space shuttles to park
While burning in re-entry.
what matters not is what this is
My heart goes out to all of you
Who have the Son inside of you
I know I need to find my point
So I think I'd better blow this joint.
----------------------------------------------------
326
Timku
(Not a Haiku)
I once knew a boy named Timmy,

Who decided to call me dad.
He peeded in my food,
Was angry and crude,
I loved him and that made him mad.
-----------------------------------------------------
327
Determined little sprite
If life is going down

When forever makes you frown
Problems wash and make you drown
Everybody duck and pray
Fire by trial and crap

Death by fear and trap
Problems seem to stare you down
Everybody duck and pray
I wish to use your words

To save my wretched soul
To tell the truth in love
To be about your goals
-----------------------------------------------------
328
Hat
i wear my hat
inside
upside
downside
rightside
leftside
rightside
wrongside
flipside
changeside
onside
offside
all the time
--------------------------
329
Jump rope
(growing up with with Shel Silverstien)
The sidewalk ends and life begins.

Jump rope, Jump rope, Skip rope.
Life goes on, slipping by on banana peels.
Jump rope, skip rope, jump rope.
Purple apes and visionaries with sunburns.
Skip rope, jump rope, jump rope.
abominations and maraschino cherries.
jump rope, jump rope, skip rope.
smiley faces, watermelons, and baptisteries.
Jump rope, skip rope, jump rope.
half eaten cake and a roast to bake.
skip rope, jump rope, jump rope.
Licorice rope. Black or cherry.
jump rope, skip rope, eat the rope.
gulp!
no rope, no rope, no rope.
---------------------------
330
Hater
The Hater and the Hated

The User and the Used
How many times and times
Must you be abused?
You push yourself to torment

She pushes you to choose
But give in or walk away
You lose, you lose, you lose.
You smother her in comfort

You smother her in touch
She doesn't want it buddy
She hates you for your love
Just walk away my friend

Don't push the solid wall
She's hurt and she will bite
You'll be punished in it all.
The manipulator she is

She punches every button
But walk away every time
She will call you in distress.
-------------------------------
331
Loneliness birds
(For The Rainmaker)
Loneliness birds circled overhead

my mother died
and began to flutter on my heart
my wife cried
they scavenged my souls meat
all the while.
Christ died for me.

And even though,
the Loneliness birds laid their large
stone eggs deep within...
I found peace.
-------------------------------
332
Of Blue Skies And Blinkers

(For JB and all of his wise-cracks)
The bird is good

The bird is small
The bird did sit

Upon the wall
I saw the bird

The bird did die
I did not cry

My eyes were dry
-----------------------------------------------------
333
New England
Nope, never been there,

But would like to go.
To see the trees turn colors.
To feel the cold fall wind.
Children playing in the leaves.
Children laughing.
New England, Maine, Vermont.

I would like to travel.
Visit upstate New York.
Perhaps New Hampshire even.
See the sights of Connecticut.
To see life in New England.
To see life.
I grew up in Texas, Kansas,

Louisiana, Colorado, and Oklahoma.
Now I live in Indiana.
And I can not help thinking.
That I am closer now to New England.
Than I was
As a child.
-----------------------------------------------------
334
Love is blinded
Try and stop, be my guide

Win some lose some, kiss the bride
I believe you, let me go
Kissers killers, eat the snow
There's a dichotomy I feel with you

If you take my hand I'll be yours true
Lessons take me all the while
If I listen closely I just might smile
You will be my bride Frankenstein

With my pretty white dress, you'll be mine
You will be my bride Frankenstein
With my pretty white dress, love is blind
-----------------------------------------------------
335
Market stance
I stood in the market

at the stones corner
weary of fake smiles
sick of the lies
I guess I know how Jesus felt
wanting to kick them out
It's outrageously sick
hard-core grievous death
I shouldn't freak out
oh well, Micheles in it
I'm in it, we are spending it
we are contributors to it
It is the it of blasphemy
selling and robbing the church
What's the difference? Why bother?
I stood in the market
I hate fakeness and pretend

I'm just me, no attitude
I stood in the midst
of turmoil and strife
and endured it with love
like the very Son of God
-----------------------------------------------------
336
myself on asian literacy
the dewy decimal system is at work in books that are in alpha-numerical order according to prefix
and author and little ladies sitting behind old wooden desks with glasses on the end of their nose
so do i feel a sense of history or just a minor attack of claustrophobia perhaps it is the old card
system being replaced with the computer terminals or maybe it is the cd and video tape section
that you can check out now i checked out a mandarin chinese audio teaching lesson once and
copied it so i could learn all about how to speak the language but then i never got around to
learning anything so i just ended up taking them back and checking out something else but even
then i never have used them oh well i tell myself ill use it someday soon like perhaps when i go to
china but ive heard stories about china like every book and especially each bible that is printed up
has to be approved by the government and if its not then a prison term could follow do you know
what ive heard about china as well is that in some parts of the country they dont have libraries
and do you know what i think i said to myself i think ill have to pray about that
-----------------------------------------------------
337
A Box
Cardboard was the box,
to the left of me.
Old it was,
and respected.
It had contained the pieces
of a former life.
And I could see that it was
just taking up space.
But there was the fact that
it was still a part of me.
But what was it
not really a part of me
but a part of the things
that I had done.
So I threw it away
into the dumpster.
Because it was not me at all
It was just a stupid box.
------------------------------------------------------
338
White Horse Poem
Jesus Kin of Healers

Savior, Prince of Light
Keeper, Lover Befriender
Warrior in the Light
See me in your righteousness

Protect me from lifes harm
Enjoy my life in your perfectness
I am your hands, You are my charm
God has no hands but our hands

God has no feet but me
Our face is the only face of God
That some will ever see
------------------------------------------------------
339
beware the beatniks
>raged and ragged<

>beatniks<
>beware the beatniks my son<
>beware<
]smothered and alike[

]squares[
]watch for the squares man[
]watch[
=wake up=
=it's the millennium=
=we are all equal=
=even the me's=
>even the squares<

]even the beatniks[
=even me=
-------------------------
340
Krazy Kat vs. Kozy Kitten
Three kats live in basement

"Feed us!" they kry
"No want feed you now bad Kats."
"Stop Kry-noize now, Kats."
Roamy, Peaches, Pillow
Roamy - Hunter - Solo - Tom
Peaches - Spot - Lover - Girl
Pillow - Garfield - Fatty - Cow
"No want Krazy Kittens no more."

"No more poop on clothes."
Say I
Bad Kats
Poor Derf
Derf - Backwards - Fred - Dead
Marvy Super Freak Momma

Kill Derf: Starvation
Bad Momma
Only hope - Keep Kats Downstairz
Until Spring
Alexis decide
Who go - Who stay
...krazy kats...
-------------------------
341
I will decide
I will decide what to do with my life

When I am an old man
and haggard
then will I look to the sky
and make my bold declaration
of decision
...
will it be too late?
----------------------------------------
342
Little Itty
Little Itty
Bitty Cat
Why oh why
did you pee on my hat?
Why wrestle shoestrings

Why eat the trash
You make me nervous

with your tiny claws
You frolic and wander

to seek and destroy
Itching and Scratching

My childrens toys
Question and wonder

Meow, plead and beg
If you don't cut it out...
I'll... ouch, dammit!
--------------------
343
F6
I'm hungry
I'm dying
I'm crying
I'm panting
I'm thirsting
I'm trying
I'm salivating
I'm urinating
I'm trying to
beat someone
at a "DOOM"
deathmatch
and
I'm losing
F6 is my
secret wad weapon
atomic death
in rare form
die!
die!
die!
bwah hah haha...
------------------------------------
344
Yonderdoggy
yonderdoggy comes
comes down to play
he goes playing and over
he does to play
likes me
licks me
go yonder doggy
go away
bye
---------------------------------
345
the bright yellow sign
it was around two in the morning

i was exhausted and sweaty
i had six dollars in change
and i pulled into the waffle
the bright yellow sign drew me...
as i walked in, i smelt it

that wonderful smell of grease
and flour and teenagers smoking
it was around two in the morning
the bright yellow sign drew me...
i sat down, and the table is sticky

with the syrup of the last customer
there's nick. i order the usual
and start with a bacon sandwich.
that bright yellow sign threw me...
plate after plate, bowl after bowl.

i really think i'm done here
but i can't stand up just yet
i'm not ready for it just yet
that bright yellow sign threw me...
it was around three in the morning

as i staggered out the door
on the way to my car, grabbing a paper
and i think that this time i'm content
that the bright yellow sign was right...
--------------------------------
346
buzzz
"begone foul demons of the air

fly away and begone", said he.
flapping, flipping, snapping
at those pesky summer flies.
so he bought himself a flyswatter.
swat, swat, swat, swat.
now the kitchen it littered,
with dead insect carcasses.
yuck.
------------------------
347
dead
there was a mouse in my ear

it squeaked all night long
and i couldn't sleep
so i killed it.
and now it's dead!

oh no, what am i to do?
i know... i'll get a cat...
there was a cat in my ear

it meowed all night long
so i killed it.
and now it's dead!

i know... i'll get a dog...
there was a dog in my ear

it barked all night long
so i killed it.
and now it's dead!

i know... i'll get a lion...
there was a lion in my ear

it roared all night long
so i killed it.
and now it's dead!

i know... i'll get a elephant...
there was a elephant in my ear

it stomped all night long
so i killed it.
and now it's dead!

i know... i'll get a mouse...
----------------------------------
348
WWWWWWWWWWWWWWishbone
(scene opens)
loading up the car to go to the drive in...
(music starts)
wish bone
meet the wish bone
it's a bone right out of thanksgiving
from the super-food barn
it's a frozen good for $12.13
let's pull... the wishbone with all our might

to find out... who just may and who just might
when you've
got the wishbone
you'll have a wishbone pull-apart time
a greasy mess time
you'll have a stupid time!
(music)
fred gets thrown out by the saber-toothed cat

musical director gets fired for cueing up the wrong song
the end
>;^)__)
----------------------------
349
Toad Lord
"i am the king",
said he.
"i am he",
said he.
"that is imperishable,
that is immeasurable,
that is omnicient,
that is omnipotent,
that is immutable,
that is surrealistic,
that is unstoppable,
that is unmovable."
said he.
"i am he",
said he.
"i am the king",
said he.
"i am he",
said he,
"that is the lord"
and Jim leaned over to Melissa and said:

"Man, them frogs sure is loud tonight!"
--------------------------------
350
hmmm...
{inspired by the stupidities of democracy}
how much clint

could a bill clint clint
if a bill clint
could clint ton?
hmmm...
how much gore

could a tipper gore gore
if a tipper gore
could tip gore?
hmmm...
how many cents

could a govern ment mint
if a govern ment
could mint sense?
"dangifiknow, ask anadarko"

--------------------------------
351
The start of it all
I guess I was in Russia one morning when I started writing. I was on my first over seas missions
trip in St. Petersburg, Russia. We had four or five dramas we were scheduled to do that day, and
I was not ready for anything, except for breakfast. I was tired, angry, hungry, and in a foul mood.
So I found a place to myself, grabbed a pen and started writing...
Ever since that day, I have written. Little did I realize that my poems were any good. I thought
my over active imagination had gone too far. I would write on any scraps of paper that I could get
hold of. I did not label or date anything. It really was a reckless quest. But God knew what He
was doing. He was in total control. It was at that time that I met Jennifer. She was also in
Russia, and she encouraged me to write down my feelings, and ideas on paper, for she wrote
also. And, though we only got to know each other for a short time, we became fast friends. Well,
we started writing and exchanging poems, and through her, God showed me that this was
something that I needed to use. This was something that, if not shared, would waste away in me.
The gift was alive.
You see, all my life I've been hyper active, both physically and mentally. Though it was a great
help in my art classes, it usually got me into a lot of trouble. Until I recognized them as gifts,
many things in my life I had counted as a curse that God had put upon me to punish me. I was
wrong, they were a part of me. God had put them there for a reason and I needed to find out
why. Well, you are reading one of the gifts that God has given me. The ability to take a thought,
wrestle it down, strap it up, and throw it on to a slab of paper. The ability to write.
Now I use the gift. I nurse the small spark into a flame, and send it licking the sides of mediocrity,
until it turns into a raging, smoldering, blaze of glory. I've met many people, and I've told many
them that they need to write a book. Everyone has a story. A testimony. Something that they
have done that others can look at and admire. Not everyone can to live among lepers, and
disease infested people everyday. So go look at Mother Theresa. Not everyone can carry a
twelve-foot cross around the world. So go look at Arthur Blessit. Not everyone can preach to
over half a million people at once. So go look at Billy Graham. Not everyone has the ability to do
the things that you do. Now go look at yourself. Why don't you share what God has done for
you? I did and I will.
I hope that you enjoyed my little essay. I believe that God has given me this gift to do something
positive. And I know that it will change lives. At least it had better. Otherwise, I'd better find
something else to do with my free time. But, let no one despise me for these writings. I am using
something God gave me, and in doing so, I am an owner of a small piece of Heaven. So, as you
read, please try and see the world through my eyes. For I do not see the average world that
others see. I see a world through the eyes of Jesus. A world of great pain, but also one of great
joy in Jesus Christ.
------------------------------------------------------
352
untitled and unsure
a word dried on my lips when she informed me that all i had to do was to ask the gut feeling my
heart shouted was to accept what i had already seen i have denied myself any emotion since i
have lost so much in these last years and writing has been the only emotional release that i have
seen but she has asked me to be with her and to be her friend and lover for i have waited for
such a long time and i really am more scared than i let on but in the asking i have allowed my
heart to take one giant leap of faith and that gut feeling that my heart shouted was not so far off
for if love is more than a physical attachment to the things we desire if love is truly a decision that
we make from day to day then i will surrender i will see to it that i no longer deny my body and my
heart and my spirit i will not let my inhibitions hold me back from the plan God has for me she
asked me and i want this for myself because it has been a long time then the words that had
glued themselves to the roof of my mouth solidified and i said yes to her and accepted all that she
had to offer me and i am not sorry or will i ever be sorry for the things that i have led myself into
because life is too short to feel regret and i will never let love slip by again
------------------------------------------------------
353
over the coffee...
i went to a local coffee house the other day and ordered one of my favorite drinks, and a drink
that had been suggested that i get at this certain spot. mocha. as i waited there with my friend, i
remember thinking that it would taste really good and that it would soothe my battered nerves, but
when i received my mocha it looked good, but tasted awful. the fluffy white cream on the surface
tasted like shaving cream, and the warm brown liquid inside was nothing but muddy water. as i
deliberately finished it off, i can remember telling my friend that i was thoroughly disappointed and
dissatisfied with the entire experience. not only had my mocha been disgusting, but the price that
i paid for it was astronomically high.
now, as i look back at that event i realize that there could have been many factors leading to the
experience that left me so dumbfounded and gasping for explanation. the coffee itself could have
been rancid, the cup dirty, the preparation fouled, or the ingredients wrong. but i think that the #1
reason that the mocha tasted the way it did to me... was because of me. my friend had a
wonderful time, and i didn't. my day had been ruined by the one thing that i was expecting to lift
my day up. perhaps it was the fact that i was expecting this to be the answer to my solutions that
my day was ruined. i could have gotten any number of things off of the menu, but i chose the
most ideal, and perfectionistic to take away my problems. why do i seem to think that something
could soothe my battered nerves, what gives me the right to expect so much out of a bean
beverage anyway? don't i know that whatever it offers me won't last, and that everything that i
receive from it will be of little value, since it is not really doing anything for me, but rather, i am
taking from it.
sometimes, we as humans, pretend to be hunky-dory on the outside; while on the inside we are
withering away like a diseased dandelions. and while we look towards other people, things, and
idealism's to keep us satisfied, we really should be looking for the true cure for our disease, not
just topical ointments for our symptoms. if we continue to look for others and other things as the
reason to stay alive and as them for the purpose in our life, then we will end up just like that
mocha that i had. useless, and tasteless. you see, that mocha was probably a quality product,
but because it wasn't perfect... then it was all wrong and no thing or no one is perfect except for
God.
God shows us in the Garden of Eden how to behave and live. He shows us that the perfect way
to be is forever with Him. letting Him see us for who we really are, really is the only true way to
have an honest relationship with Him. perfectionism is one thing. but God is quite another. For
God doesn't have to be perfect, He is perfect by nature. And He is the only one who can cleanse
us from the yuckiness of being human. unlike the false sense of security one gets with a trivial
comfort, God never loses His hold on His children. it is God, and God alone that is the one to
wash us and renew us and it is only He who can truly make us feel worthwhile, and soothe our
battered nerves.
------------------------------------------------------
354
Unique Travels
Say goodbye, she had told me. I always hated that. Saying goodbye I mean. I had always
liked her. She had ways that brought out the very best in me. I believe that it was fate that had put
us together. Or, perhaps it was God. I have loved her since the first moment that we met so
many years ago. Loved her enough to marry her. And now it was over. Now it was all over. It was
yesterday.
It was yesterday, like so many years ago. I had been at the church late working on some
curriculum for the sunday school classes. Some pretty good stuff actually. Yawning, I glanced at
my watch. Near quitting time already. I was tired and it could wait until morning. I figured I should
get home a little early to see how Heather was doing. Today was grocery day, and she had taken
the van so that she could have more room to load in whatever she bought. More room. More
money spent. She never did anything halfway. Oh well, that's one of the reasons that I liked her
so much. She had class.
Traffic was light and I arrived home in around ten minutes. There was no car outside, but that
wasn't anything new. She was probably at Glendas anyway. I went to get a snack. Strange. No
carrots. She hadn't even been home from the grocery store. Something was wrong.
The phone rang.

"Hello?" I said.
"Mr. Hart?" The voice was distant.
"What happened?" I asked before he could tell me.
"Uh, well, Do you have a wife? A Mrs. Heather Hart?"
"Tell me what happened." I repeated, "Now."
"It was in the Supermarket... She's had a stroke."
I paused.
"Mr. Hart?"
"Where are you?" I said.
"At Memorial Hospital Mr. Hart, She's..."
"I'll be right there."
I was there in seven minutes.
She had told me to say goodbye. I always hated that.
Saying goodbye.
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355
Faces that only we can save
As the mere existence of Christianity wraps itself around the fragile shell of our cultural Jesus
(who only wears a suit) there are tens of thousands who starve, who bleed, who sweat and plead
for a half a cup of goats milk.
For the millions of dollars spent on cat food, for the thousands of tons of food wasted each year...
there are millions of lives drowned and wasted.
All of the bloated bellied children might as well have never been born, if they will live the life that
they are destined to live if we don't do something about it.
We will have to reckon with our sins on judgment day. I, for one, will use my life to give to others.
I cannot sit by and watch all of this just happen.
They are my brothers. My sisters. My mothers and my fathers. And they bleed the same red
blood.
I pray with my help they will bleed no longer.
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356
Triumphal
The word that was spoken

so long ago
from the mouth
of the almighty
still dwells
in the hearts of men.
BUT WE MUST LISTEN!

LISTEN TO THE HEARTBEAT OF GOD!
LISTEN TO THE CRYING OF THE LOST!
WE MUST LISTEN OR DIE IN OUR LIES!
For if we pretend
and ignore
those worlds
of sick and hurting
then we call Christ
to no effect
and that He died
once and for all
we cause Him
to die all over again
LISTEN TO THE HEARTBEAT OF GOD!

LISTEN TO THE CRYING OF THE LOST!
LISTEN TO THE SOULS OF MEN!
LISTEN TO THEM CRY!
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357
Made
God made all men

and we are all created beings
we are given brains and hands
we are given purity
we are given much
too much i feel
for we take Gods masterpiece
and desecrate it with lies
lies of corruptness
lies of disembowelment
lies of extrusion
God made man
in His image and likeness
He created us
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358
Thoughts of a related time and place have enveloped my journey here. I have fallen prey to the
undisciplined practice of living in the "what if" syndrome. I see my days march along and wonder
what consequences would befall me if i had done this or done that. i realize that this way of
thinking is a corrupt way, and to be more precise... it is an unhealthy view on the universe in
general. Shouldn't i be more concerned with the here and the now... but there i go again. i keep
doing this to myself. the now is what i live in. not the past, or any alternate reality in this present,
or even in the impending future. i plan and schedule, but it is the now that i function within. so i
make plans to not make plans. striving for a future where my present consists of whole-hearted
plans of the now. the now. the here.
The beginning of my life.

Copyright 2000 by pauly
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359
Pauly the Sinner Gets Forgiven.
Like it or not, I shall be remembered as a man after the things of God. That may bug some. This
may discourage others into oblivion. Others who may have known me or met me may have felt
something different. All I can say is that there was always something in the back of my mind,
wanting to help others, and to get them farther along in their life than they were at that point. I
have made a lot of stupid mistakes, and never knew how to make friends well and keep them
happy, and ended up really hurting most of them... but they will survive. I have lied and cheated
and done many a devious thing to my fellow man... but I know that God has forgiven a poor
wretch such as myself. God has sent his smiling Son into my life and set me free from the
wracking prison of despondency. And He is the only reason that I can give any good testimony
whatsoever. Jesus saved me... and that's that. So on with life! Let the courage be in the battle
and let me hold nothing back from living this life on and into the fullest of it's extent. I am a man of
God, and He loves me. No matter what anyone remembers.
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360
a thingy of waiting
Patience is a thing unsettled. It lurks within the tiredness of your soul and blossoms at times
unheeded. It is formulated within ones inept ability to deal with the present, and springs out
unawares in future circumstances that deem themselves importantly similar. It is the least sought
after of all the virtues seeing that it is borne in hardship and distress. For patience is not only a
virtue, but a work. A fruit that comes into season only once in a great while. the biblical term for it
was "long-suffering"... and we can easily see why. You must suffer to let patience let her work her
perfect work. Perhaps it is never perfected. or perhaps no one really knows because it has never
been perfected. perhaps no one has ever took the time to fully explore it. perhaps this is a never
perfected work. It takes time, and it take unquenchable amounts of patience. Persistence,
Tenacity. Long Suffering. All synonyms with pain. Pain and joy are borne hand in hand both from
mother patience. Patience is bought with the price of hardship. The joy of tribulation is small and
is only seen as a glimmer on each mans horizon. Let patience grow. Then your horizon will draw
nearer. Thanks to patience.
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361
Pain and joy in a rusty blender

The choices we must make from day to day are astonishing. So many things to do, and so
little time. Surprisingly, there seems to be a rising number of simple little "things" that we can do
in each day. So many activities steal my heart today that it seems there is little time left over for
people. Seemingly, the times when I choose the right thing to do, the wrong thing would have
been easier and would have saved more time. But I know that I must not choose the wrong way,
for in that way leads death. Doesn't the old proverb ring true that "the grass is always greener on
the other side"? Well, that all depends on where you are looking. If you are always looking at
what could have been, you will feel discontentment with where you are at right now. Why is it that
we persist in looking "over there" when we could live in the here and now, if we choose. But why
aren't we satisfied? Why doesn't the quest end?
I will tell you the reasons that I have found to be true. I feel that our primary dissatisfaction
comes from our unhappiness in God. The reason that we don't ever "feel like it", is because we
are not looking to the One who gave us the ability to feel to begin with. The only way to
experience living peace is to live in peace. To live inside of him, and his perfect will. That is
where we will find our life-long security. In him is where we will find our peace. In Him is where
the meaning of life is. In Him is life and that life is the light of all men. In Him we can throw all of
our pains away and find true joy. For He can turn our shallow days into a deepening river of
ardent truthfulness. Let us not live our lives as the world does theirs, but let us live our lives as
Christ lived his. The John 17 way. For what is life but a long string of connected experiences
that lead towards a common purpose.
Let's face it. The only thing that you have to do is die. You don't have to accept life. Life
would be short and hard, but you really don't want to just give up do you? No, generally people
want what is (or what they think is) best for them. The only thing that I find confusing is why
people don't accept and fear God. What will it take to convince these cold-hearted critics (a
better name might be truth-obliterators). I figure they are too involved with their own sofa logic
philosophies, that they wouldn't give Jesus the time of day. Oh, why is the world so full of people
who make stupid choices? I know that, in my own life, I find that I must choose Gods way instead
of my way. I've only been here around 25 years or so, and He's been here for a Trillion or two.
So I look to Him for my important choices. I pray that as I live my life, more and more, that I can
choose the one who first chose me.
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362
Untouchable Host
The real question besets us in this: Who isn't my brother? Who isn't my sister? I could say easily
that there are those who I have no influence over, and they are not my brother and sister. But
aren't they? I know that they are. I know that the idea of them not being my brother and sister is to
separate myself from the collective of mankind. And as this is not the case, they are mine. In
every decision that I make, somehow, somewhere, men that I have never heard, seen or
imagined are affected by the small decisions of my day. Is it too big headed of me to think so? I
think not. I make nets and they reach out... spanning invisible barriers and touching this
"untouchable host". They are touched by me in my web of influence, whether I like it or not. Is it
as real to me as this sweaty tent I am sitting in right now in the unbearable humidity, being eaten
alive by grimy gnats, as it is to me when I am crusin down my favorite stretch of interstate in my
convertible with wind whistling through my hair. Is it? Can it be that real to me every second of
every day? No. of course not. It can never be that real. No one but God is that omniscient.
Perhaps if I cared more, I could sense and feel these other invisibles and be able to make the
right choices and help progress their journey towards God. Perhaps if I cared more... they could
become a reality in my every day life. Perhaps. Perhaps they are my brothers and my sisters and
my mothers and fathers. I say they are. For they are the untouchable host, and I pray that they
will become as real to me one day as these gnats are now... I pray that they would become real.
And touchable.
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363
To be...
The true meaning of all the conjugated thoughts in the universe is this: God. God is the beginning
of all there was, and ever has been, and all that is ever hoped to be. Through him was every
thing made that was made and without him was nothing made that is made. In the beginnings of
all the beginnings there ever was, was God. In God was the beginning of all there was to begin
with. God made time and attributed the Sun and the moon to keep it straight. But, the only
constant in all of creation (the only common denominator of God made time) is God. All the life in
all the galaxies in all of this realm of existence were made by one word: "Be." He spoke it forth.
(He could have spoken himself forth) Time is a curious thing to him... He doesn't follow its rules.
Einstein said that time slows as you approach the speed of light. God moves faster than light, and
so he moves faster than time, surpassing it, slipping in and out of its stream like a God who
knows what He's doing. Time to him is simply a thought away. That's eternity explained. Moving
as God does at the speed of light. Isn't He the light? Aren't we the light of the world?
Time will one day run out. For you and for me. You can choose to accept the creator of light and
time or reject him, and be caught... Frozen In Time. In time, there is an end, there was a start,
and there will be an end. It will cease. Make no mistake. It could happen before you finish this
poem. Poof! We Perish! But, God henceforth now and forevermore will live. Live with no end. He
has graciously extended his hand towards us to come and join him. He has given us a choice...
Eternal Life, or what's behind door number three. The choice is ours. We aren't robots. That's
why it's so important to choose right. Not left, wrong or erase. Choose Good. Choose God, and
be together with him, conjugated in the thoughts of the almighty maker and sculptor, master and
manager of the universe. To be one with "The One."
God.
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364
Is my soul fate-destined when I give my sin to God?
Nothing happened to my soul because Jesus was made the payment for my sins! Yeha! Grace
and love are so awesome! But like the Apostle Paul wrote: Shall we sin so that grace will abound
all the more? God forbid! I don't want to be like a robot, and never show that I'm hurt or glad or
mad or happy. I want to be honest, genuine, pure of motive and heart, loving, and
compassionate. Only the "real" Christians get to Heaven. And Lord I want to be in that number.
And I want to be a saint. Saintliness entails purity. Not perfection. God help me if I think I'm
perfect. I used to believe in perfectionism, but it really is a nowhere road. Besides, This Pauly
you know dies everyday. Thank God I'm not the same person as I was yesterday.
I'm gonna go read Galatians five again!
Amen!
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365
Perishing along the way to holiness
We learned that the Holy Spirit cannot turn as a switch.
We learned that all Spiritual learning is by comparison.
We must see the Holy Spirit through the Word of God.
The seven flames of fire burning is the same Holy Spirit.
The Spirit is the Spirit of Wisdom and of Understanding.
Who is this third person of the Trinity?
You are the One.
And I am yours.
How can I relate to you?
I must see you as I see the LORD.
The key to the supernatural is: Relationship.
And can I move into you?
"Yes, only as I move into you."
Then move... move in me... and abide forever.
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366
The eternal theme of a persuasive word

Love. Commonly known as the most powerful force in the universe, this four letter word says
much more than any other word in the world. Love, as the world would refer to it, is often referred
to wrongly. Sometimes as sex, sometimes as marriage, even in reference to a persons favorite
ice cream flavor. What we need to do is to cut back on our use of this word. All too often we
spread it thin by saying that we love so many different things. "Liking is one thing, Lusting is
another, but Loving is the hardest of them all." You see, Love must mean more than just a
tingling up your spine followed by goose bumps on your arm. Love is so much more than the
words "I love you" Love is an action. It is a choice. True love is rarely found in on T.V.. It is
usually found in the reality of real life. Love is this: Sacrificing all for the sake of another. Taking
something that is valuable to yourself and giving it up so that another may benefit. Love is an act
of human kindness resulting in the prosperity of another individual. Love is a verb. Love is a
noun. Love enfleshed is Jesus, for Jesus is love.
Have you ever cared so much for someone that it hurt? Have you tried and tried for the person to
get better, no matter what the cost to your life? That is love. Jesus told us to consider the cost.
The cost of what? The cost of love. Are we willing to die for Jesus? Are we willing to die for a
family member? How about for a friend? An acquaintance? Someone you have never met?
Your enemy?
The Bible tells us that there is no greater love that any man could ever show but that he would lay
down his life for a friend. Well, lets take that concept a step further! Jesus laid down his life for
those who ripped out his beard. For those that spit on him and killed him. Now that is true and
genuine love.
I used to have a cat whose name was Snitches. I really loved her. I used to have a girlfriend
named Tasha. I loved her too. I used to have an incredibly huge Leggo set, and boy I loved that
thing to death! You see, this is the point that I'm trying to say! Our concept of the word is gone!
We shouldn't say that we love these things. That cheapens the word. Only Jesus deserves our
number one love! Then our families, friends, the world and lastly ourselves. Go out and try to
love others before you love yourself. Just for one day! See what happens. It's a lot more difficult
than you would have ever thought.
Anyway, Christianity is a beautiful mix of Jesus' love for us and of our love for Him. Just relax on
this sea cruise of spiritual ecstasy. Give Jesus a kiss on the cheek and tell him how much you
love him.
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367
Set the pace
My soul is poured out like water,

My spirit tires of me,
I have nothing left but you Lord,
I have nothing left but Thee.
This is my story,
And also my prayer,
That you, dear Lord, will set the pace,
And you will take me there.
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368
over the coffee again...
okay i'm not really enjoying coffee, or any kind of hot beverage to say the least, but what, you
might ask, am i drinking on this dreary rainy morning that hits the spot just like... ahhhhh... yes,
that is nice. oh, it's root beer.
"root beer? rooooooot beeeeeer? blasphemy! and utter shame!"
well, not as bad as all that. sure, you might criticize me

for this breach in beverage-protocol... that i would dare to drink a cold carbonated soda from an
aluminum can, when in fact the purpose of this essay is to be read and enjoyed while downing a
fine name brand espresso, or while pondering over a bath-tub sized cup of foamy cappuccino, or
just drinking some straight up black-as-tar campfire java. of course, it really doesn't matter now
does it? one is soothing and the other is (to me) refreshing.
let us keep this one thing in mind: not all drinks are the same. some are quite cold, and some
are diametrically opposed as being very hot, but rarely are drinks ever warm. can you imagine
asking for a cup of hot tea at your favorite restaurant, and receiving instead a small dish of room
temperature tap water with a suspicious looking tea-bag limply floating around inside of it? or how
about ordering a wonderful strawberry milk-shake at your local ice cream parlor, and much to
your disdain, they hand you a cup of syrupy muck that smells like rotting fruit. gross? yes, i agree.
in the same way, let us look at ourselves in this matter. what temperature are you? what is
your thermostat set on? and what are you doing to affect the world around you. our spiritual lives
should be accurately temperatured in the same way that we see it in the bible. in revelation 3:15
& 16, we hear the Son of Man saying that He wants a hot or a cold church, but because we are
luke warm... He's gonna spew!
what does a hard working farmer want after he's been laboring all day in the corn fields, but to
relax under a shady tree with a tall cool glass of refreshing lemonade or orange juice? or how
about the elderly lady who, after walking to the grocery store in a foot and a half of snow to get
groceries for herself and for her husband... doesn't she deserve a nice steamy mug of fresh
herbal tea? does the farmer want hot cocoa? does the woman need ice water? no! they would
only become sick and no good would come of it.
so what shall we do then? wake up and smell the coffee! we should be the hot drink in the
blizzards of life, and we should become cool liquids throughout the deserts of loneliness, hot or
cold, peaceful or powerful, recharging or relaxing... just make sure that in whatever you do, work
at it with all your heart as working for the Lord, and not for men.
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Time within the unbroken strand of forever concept love.
(another rambling)
If we were really, really ready, ready; then all we would need to do is wait, watch, and pray until
His return and when He comes to us. Then He would come and fill our hearts with such love and
take us all away. If we were really ready, He would be ready too. All of the timings that are off
will be reset by his spiritual chronometer. All of the trap doors in time would be shattered by the
blows of His love. Immortality waits like a creature behind the door of salvation. Ready to engulf
you once you make your decision. The keys that were still hot from the pits of hell and were
jangling in his hand, but they seem now to hang on a forgotten hook in sub-basement five in
Heavens locker rooms. Have we lost them? They are really doing nothing for us at this moment.
Or is it that we need to possess them? I think that sounds selfish. Why not ask Him to release
His mighty war host now? Oh, we're not ready yet. . . Time ticks away. I shouldn't judge my self
importance on how ever many smiles I get in a day. Or should I? No, Jesus smiles on me and I
love him like no other. He is my one true friend to the end. He is all the time I need and also all
the love. I know it's true that he loves all mankind the same, and that he is no respecter of
persons. Although, sometimes I want to think that we have our own little thing going. I really don't
need anything else but his persuading nature to affect my life. Is it wrong to love others as much
as you love God? Jesus died for man, not for the other parts of the God-head. Jesus said that
whatever you do to the least of these you do it unto me. I'm talking perfect love of course.
Hmmm. I will accept Gods judgment. But, I lust after his mercies. Is it wrong to lust after the
Lord? To be jealous after Him? I just want to know him more. To be as much like him as
possible. Well, that's what Lucifer wanted too. I just want to do what God says. I seek after Him
as for water in a dry and thirsty land. I really care of nothing else except for Him and His people.
So much so it hurts sometimes. My passion tears away at me like hungry wolves.
Yes Lord, yes.
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By your providence
By your providence, we are made holy. By your might, we are proved worthy. With your joy we
contract your holiness. By your will we find ourselves as one with you. Keeping our conscience
void of guilt, keeping our feelings free from hurt. With one voice we shout triumphantly
throughout the land that you reign victoriously. Trembling at His word, realizing your quick sword,
I show you my fear, respect and reverence, all that you justly deserve anyway. You desire due
honor from all men, but you do not force yourselves upon us. I know I need never want anything,
because you are my chief shepherd. My Father in Heaven knows what I need even before I ask.
But when I do have want, I make my petitions made known unto the most high. Halleluyaweh! Is
it not you that sit upon the throne? Who else would or could I turn to? Why do I ever turn to
anyone else? I am a slothful sluggard lizard! I need to turn to the one who birthed me! How he
loves me! Lord, I repent of my not trusting in you. Forgive me and turn me not to your left.
Accept my broken heart daddy. Thanks.
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An uphill climb in a downhill world
Sometimes life is so haphazard, so disruptive, so annoying and it seems like everything is

passing by so quickly, and so furiously, that we forget what we are living for. It seems that all the
beauty is lost in a sunset, or the fragrance of a flower is gone when we climb the ladder of life.
Are we climbing too fast? Should we slow down? I say no. Who said life was a ladder anyhow?
We are on the road of life, not the ladder. It is only through climbing the steep path that we can
reach God. Not by trying to attain him as they did at the tower of Babel. Yes, I can see their
pyramids of power, and their skyscrapers of success. But the story never changes. They are
either traveling down the road, trying to build upwards by themselves, or they are wasting away at
the side. I see very few who are going up with me. But I know I must go on. We must go on. we
should travel together, you know. We should be able to trust in one another to be traveling
companions. Can't we do that? Or, can we trust each other yet?
The road of life can be arduous, and seemingly meaningless at times, but we must know that God
is on our side. Things go on around us everyday, and yet, we must be more than overcomers.
We must rise above each occasion with the power of the triumphant one. Because greater is he
that is in us than he that is in the world. Things happen to everyone. Both good and bad. Hey, it
rains on the virtuous and the evil just the same. So why do we accept some of these things as
from our Father? Don't get me wrong, I believe in Fire baptism, and I know that he chastises and
rebukes those that he loves, but if I'm in a car wreak... I am not going to thank God (the giver of
all good things) for it! I will not let those things happen to me! It is the thief that comes to kill steal
and destroy, not the goodman of the house!
The only way that the thief can come in is if he first binds
up the strong man. And then that violent one will take it by force, and by all means necessary, if
possible. So, loose God, and let him do something for you! He is the "Abba" the da-da of all
creation. Shall not the Father give his children good things if we ask it of him? Or who among
you would give your kid a rock if he asks for some food? I shall stand firm on my belief that God
actually likes and loves me. For it is not just a strong opinion, it is a solid fact.
Let your life be fun. Life was not intended to be a living Hell. It was intended for us to have
fellowship with the creator, and to dominate creation. I shall walk the path no matter what
happens! For He is still on my side. And when life seems to be crashing down around me, then I
can still know that Jesus paid for it all. My salvation from Hell, accidents, and stress. And he
sent his precious Holy Spirit to display the fact of his love. As a person in love with him, I would
just like to say that he is my all in all. He is the one who tickles my fancy as well as my funny
bone. I like him and He likes me. And he is proud when I can stand firm in the face of adversity,
and having done everything that I know to do, stand in confidence.
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Captivity freed in death
How it fully seems to be the beginning of my life. I see and hear and smell and taste all there is
despite... my captivity, which now seems like a welcome thing compared to the death I must face
before I am freed. "I'm Human!" I scream! But it's just a blur, a kick in yearning. They won't
listen, they are deafened with reason, lies, hate. They don't see me for who I am. They don't and
they won't. But, I still love them. I don't love them for what they do, but rather, for who they are. I
just don't understand? Why can't I be free like they are? I'm innocent! I've never faced a jury for
my alleged crimes! Crimes? The only crime I've committed is my existence! I'm not a criminal, I'm
an offering. A ritual sacrifice in the name of convenience and in the name of free choice. You
see, I may be young, but I've got choice too! But no one can hear me. I am powerless in this
struggle. Because if my mother chooses death for me, I can't refuse. I love her. Who am I to say
that she's wrong? I only wish she loved me too. I'm a part of her! But she's much wiser than I.
But oh, how I covet the life of the free! They say that life is a fragrance, smelt and then gone. No
one has smelled me. I should be a flower. But I'm a forgotten weed. Someone nobody wants to
think about. Why God? Why? I know you love me! Don't you? Oh please don't turn your back
on me too! I know that no one really hates me... Thy are just confused, mixed up. Things may not
be well with me, but they can always get better with them! Where's my daddy? I wish I could see
his face... I want to thank him for this small glimpse of life he has given me. I love him. I just don't
understand... I guess I must have done something wrong. I've been bad. I'm sorry. I really am. I
tried to be good, but I guess I wasn't. I love you.
Goodbye.
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His call is His will
Jesus is calling. Will you answer him? He has everything you need. He has everything you can
really want. He loves you. He would do anything for you to believe in him, and he did. He put his
life in the hands of the Roman hierarchy of two millennium ago. They nailed him to a cross. No
mistake. He planned it. In that day a most horrific thing happened. All sin, all sickness and
dying, all death and separation was nailed to him, even as He was to the cross.
Concerning death and the grave, it was the God-Son, the Joshua God-Emanuel-Christ being who
snatched them out of the deceives claws. He absorbed death for your life. He wants your
freedom. He wants it. He doesn't want your freedom for yourself, He wants your freedom from
yourself and your freedom for Himself. He wants your life. He wants to give you eternal life in
exchange for a measly hundred years or so on this earth. He will give you purity in exchange for
your wretched, murky, diseased soul. He loves you. He wants both his presence and his power to
rest in and on you, and inside of you.
His call is his will.
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I will not!
I will not be the blessed of God if I don't follow the known will of God. I must and should be
consecrated. I must take that awful and dreadful sword of the Lord and cut away everything that
doesn't pertain to His will. I have to realize that I can miss Gods will by missing His timing. God! If
I cannot have your will then take my life! Lord, if I don't get Your will and I get to Heaven and You
tell me I didn't do Your will... I'll tell You that it's your fault; because THIS DAY I give you full
permission to rebuke me, chastise me, correct me, and anytime you feel like it... you can tell me
when I'm wrong.
And I'll obey.
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Near You / Traveled
How far before we have flown together

How far again we shall meet then never
For time is as time does and so it shall be
And time thinks as time was we let it then be
And I would fly anywhere

And I would do anything
To be close to you
Lightning crashes all around

Deep goes the sound
Thunder and clouds do roll
And so it shall be
And I would cry anytime

To be close to you
And I would see anything

And I would sing anything
And I would feel anything
To be near you
To be with you
I would die
Well how far have you traveled

How far have you come
From where have you journeyed
And where will you go
I think that I'm wearied

I think that I'm slow
I'm feeling do depressed
I really don't know
Lightning rolls all around

Deep rolls the sound
Thunder booms and clouds come down
wishing me to come and drown
Belief and sorrow

Destruction and trust
Our sorrow and anger
Rely, cry, fall and rust
I think that I'm happy

I think that I'm fine
When will I see
He died for me
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Never resist thanking God
Never any sadness

Never any pain
Never any sorrow
Since you stopped the rain.
The rain filled my lonely days

And chilled my haunted nights
Then you came and changed that
Then you lifted me to new heights.
Tip tapping on my window pane

Sweet rain engulfs my soul
You were there to save the day
And turn my half to whole.
Drowning out the sorrows

That darkened my days
Somehow though you rescued me
From all it's evil ways.
You delivered me from darkness

showing a softer path
I saw within you a gentleness
And a desire like wrath.
So I'll cherish you always

and give praise where due
I'll thank God everyday
for leading me to you.
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377
Salvation
So you want to go to heaven? I think everyone dreams about leaving this life with all the
struggles and pain and uncertainties, to spend the rest of eternity in total bliss. We all dream of
hanging out on little fluffy clouds playing harps all day, right? How can you be totally sure that
you'll go? Well, let me start by saying that there is only one way to get there and simply being
good just doesn't cut it.
Humans strive for fulfillment in their lives through a variety of ways. people think - If I only had
more money or, if I were only more educated. I'll be a better person if I go to church more or if I
do more good things for people and the world. Although these things are all fairly important in this
life, none of these things will earn you a ticket past the pearly gates. Actually, nothing you do can
get you into heaven. Does that surprise you? The Bible says in Matthew 19:26 that it is
completely impossible for man to save himself (essentially meaning get into heaven), but with
God all things are possible. God wants us to trust him, and he wants us all to spend eternity with
him, but he doesn't want to force us to make that decision. He created us all with the freewill to
choose for ourselves and unfortunately a lot of people choose to turn their backs on God; they
want to do it their way. Look, No one is perfect; we were created that way. Everyone makes
mistakes and God isn't out to exterminate us all when we do. God forgives mistakes and wants to
help us become what we were meant to be. God loves you dearly like a mother loves a child, in
fact, if we accept him, He calls us his kids.
The Bible says that the only way to become God's kids and get into heaven is through Jesus.
John 14:6 says that he is the way and the truth and the life, and that no one can reach God
except through him. Jesus is God's son but, he came to earth to live with people and experience
the pain and struggles of everyday life. Jesus was human but at the same time he was
completely perfect. He went around healing the sick and teaching us about God. He did many
miracles including exorcisms and bringing people back from the dead. Jesus was crucified when
he was 33 years old and died a horrible death even though he never did anything wrong. the
important thing is that after he had been dead three days, God brought him back to life.
Christ died so that the world could have a chance to know God and be brought closer to him,
but we must individually receive him as our Savior and Lord. there is nothing to pay. It's like
you're holding the most valuable gift certificate you've ever had. Now its your choice - Will you
accept the gift? We must choose to believe that Jesus can save us and give us eternal life. Jesus
loves you and will accept you no matter what kind of person you are (we're all human, right?), but
He also expects you to change and turn from the wrong things you do. trust in Jesus always. He
will always be with you, helping you to change and to live your new life. Be prepared to begin
living your life for God instead of the self-centered life that the world teaches. This could prove to
be a real adventure.
So, you can trust God to teach you, protect you and provide for your needs, and He will call
you his own child. you will find that you have a new purpose for living as you begin to discover
God's plan for your life. You are promised an eternal future with him in heaven, and the word
"love" will take on a new meaning. You have new responsibilities now. God expects you to follow
Him, obey Him, serve Him, read your Bible and pray to Him. Above all, he expects you to love
Him and trust Him.
OK! Now you are ready for heaven! Oh, and by the way, I don't really think that we sit around
playing harps all day, I'm sure that it will be much... much more than that.
Written by Michele Hart

Used with permission
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Spirit God
Sing Hallelujah to the King of Kings...

Hallelujah to the lamb,
Sing Hallelujah to the Lord of Lords...
Who is the great "I Am",
Lord Jehovah reigns in majesty...
we will bow before his throne,
We will worship him in righteousness...
we will worship him alone,
Holy Comforter and Spirit God...
You are powerful and true,
Great in wisdom and in mighty deed...
gracious thanks we give to you,
Thank you Father, Son, and Holy Ghost...
thank you God of all that is,
You created each and everything...
All creation sings "You live".
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379
That's all I have to say!
First of all as I stand before you today I would

I like to say that to live the life of ultimate freedom
One must first of all never expect to be free
To live the life of ultimate liberty
One must never expect to live their life
To live the life of ultimate prosperity
One must never expect to be rich
To live the life of ultimate success
One must never expect to achieve
For when the goal supersedes the means
The goal becomes utterly worthless
Or when we lose our peace
Nothing is worthwhile at any time
For Christianity and morality often conflict
Nature and spirituality are not are not synonymous
There is never a parallel between greed and freedom
The supreme difference between the Kingdom of God
Being at hand and being in holistic accord
with the Universal "Consciousness" is that
One has to deal with an inner decision based on love
And one deals with the progression of
A perverse sense of self-importance
I'm not sure that we can find a heaven
Here on earth but I'm quite sure that
We need not have a Hell here either
And the only reason that we're still here
on the earth is to tell others about Him
and to learn how to worship Him because
Will we ever lead someone to Christ in Heaven?
I don't think so.
And that's all I have to say.
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Vanguard
Forward. Toward. Closer to the war I am spurred.

Like a horse charging into war. A war with myself.
I run to the enemy. Evil, vile, and demiseful. How
I loath his very existence. His death is my wish.
Even now I wish for the sword of vengeance upon
him. To banish him forever into the wracking pit of
despair. I feel my blood pulsing, coursing, racing
through my veins. I feel strength. Unnatural.
Supernatural. And it surges. I am His strength.
How I long to crush the enemy. To inflict upon him
the debt due. Sword, Lance, Axe, Mace, Javelin,
Spear or like. I swing into the melee with all that I
am. The Lord of Banners is who I fight for. I am
like a sword, and I am unsheathed upon the
darkness by His stout and surely arm. I am His
weapon, and He is my victory. The enemy shall
not prevail. He shall come down. The Lord has
given me the power to crush the dragons head.
And I intend to use that power. Like a rod. Like a
sword. The wicked shall be matched. And they
shall come down willingly, or by my mighty Hand.
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For ye are
Shakers.
Shaken forth by the Lord of minerals.
Salt spewn into the world recklessly.
Purposefully and thoughtfully thrown.
Some of us fell on good ground.
Some not.
Tenderizing hard hearts, preserving morality, melting, and dissolving.
One out of six we are.
One billion people strong.
Why have we not done our part, we granules?
Shall we be as those worthless?
Shall we be cast away into the fire?
What shall happen to us if we lose our flavor?
When flavor goes, value goes.
Why, oh why do we still stay in the sea where it is safe?
Who are we hiding from?
Why are we hiding?
Are we in fear of those land-locked artesian poisons?
Or from the bottling companies who ship them world wide?
Do you realize that they actually sell that blasphemy?
As we are, we only affect the shores and coastlines.
We prefer our solitude, our own little conventions instead of going inland.
I fear it is not us who surround the seven islands, but it is they who surround us.
Shall we not go?
Have we forgotten our purpose in life?
Why have we lost our devotion to our first and our only true love?
For the Spirit hovered over us in the beginning,
and He hovers over us still today.
For we are the salt of the earth.
We are, and no one else.
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382
This small life
Lands we will reach as we sail away but I don't want to let this life pass by. But how can we go
anywhere when we don't have the courage to leave our homes? There was a bundle of blue yarn
sitting on the desk next to me as i thought. Will my life amount to a hill of beans, or will I suffer in
ignorance like the rest? My cute black puppy knows its purpose in its small miserable life, why
don't I? People riding the busses, people working hard, driving the busses for them. Destinations
posted on the front of the bus illuminating the marquee. I will season my thoughts over my heart
and season it like some dry jerky. For it is been drained like from some sick hemomaniac. Heart
sucked dry. We hold on to the most insane of ideas. We try too hard. We struggle. Like unto a
mudskipper who believes it is his time to evolve are we. It won't be easy, it might be tricky, but we
can't give up, we won't give up. This small life we partake of... Can the Madams or Psychic
Friends help us? They can not evolve us... Who can add height or depth to himself by worrying?
This small life we dream of is lost on the chords of some celestial guitarist. Does anyone know
who we really are, or where this ghost train is taking us? The fog that we travel through, on our
way to oblivion, Mother Mary help us. We struggle and strive and dream and sweat and
eventually have our hearts sucked. Like as unto by some craven necrophiliac, as we lie in our
tombs, we are abused. This small life is surrounded by darkness, except for that one small shaft
of light. The light of Christ. The promise of the Jews and the hope of the Gentiles is He.
My shaft of light. My hope. My way. All the way my Savior will guide and help me through my
small, so small life. And He will lead me to the bus station of my destiny.
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383
Yeah, right.
The greatest miracle that this world ever saw was not when Jesus came to the earth as a
human. No, the greatest miracle as well as the greatest act of faith began when Christ was killed
and died. For it was at this miracle beginning time that several things happened at once.
First of all, Christ, or, God-made-flesh, had died. A seemingly unexpected and unprepared-for
act of the greatest importance. It is debated whether God-made-flesh descended into Hell and
wrestled with Lucifer for the Keys to Death and the grave, or whether he went to Abraham bosom,
and showed himself to them, giving the first rapture. He could have died Spiritually. No one but
God knows for sure.
Second of all, The Father, or Jehovah, had rejected a part of himself. Because Christ had
taken all sin, sickness, disease, and poverty upon himself at the cross, Father could no longer
look upon him. He turned his back and allowed his favor to lift. Hence, causing the greatest
separation since the first, in the garden.
Thirdly, The Spirit, or the Comforter, left the ark of the Covenant. For centuries, since the time
of Moses, He had dwelled in this Ark. Inside of tabernacles, and several different temples, He
had resided with His people. But now, with the curtain tore in two, He apparently turned His back
on Christ as well.
Fourthly, all of Hades, Hell, Sheol, Abbadon, Gehena, Tardes, Death, and the Grave rejoiced.
Not to mention the Fallen Angels, Principalities, Powers, Rulers, Nephilim, Demons, Devils, Foul
Spirits, The Strongman, Beelzebub, and especially the Great Deceiver himself; had one Hell of a
party.
But I really think that the greatest thing, the single act of sheer obedience to bring the world to
attention was the fact that Christ trusted The Father to bring Him back from the dead. He
preached and healed in faith, He lived in faith, He was taken before court in faith, He was beaten
in faith, and He was ripped and shredded in faith. Faith that the Father would be true to His word.
Faith that the joy set before Him would become a reality. Think about it. Without that one holy act
of faith, Christ may never have died. He had the power not to didn't He? He might still be alive
today. But He had to. But without that act of total obedience, and without the sovereign act of the
Father, Jesus might still be in Hell today.
Yeah right, like that could ever happen.
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384
Unto
(A Psalm)
Jesus Christ, Savior Messiah.

You are my everlasting friend.
Be with me now both here and forever.
Be with me unto life's bitter end.
I know that you never will give up on me.
I know that you never will forsake.
Give me the strength to know your love.
Help me for the gospels sake.
Your Word stands strong above the hills.
The mountains shout eternally.
Everlasting heart felt kinship.
The joy this prisoner saw in thee.
I shout your song above the earth.
I sing your song beneath the sea.
Heaven and Earth shall now bear witness.
I in You and You in Me.
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385
Why my soul does not fly with the rest
Why my soul does not fly

Is not a question of faith
It's the shivers I get
When I falter and fall
Why my heart bitter dreams

Of a Loneliness grasped
Draping over my eyes
Like a thick flag of fear
In my dreams I consume
All my heartaches, my shame
While walking to tears
That wet my pillow
Why my soul does not fly

I can easily see
I was betrayed by the girl
Who comes only now in sleep
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386
Pervert just like me
The pale soul continues in lust

A hard heart denies Gods Agape
The troubled one drools over women
The shallow spirit of the oppressed
Breaking the tenth commandment

Following up with breaking the seventh
And you end up in pain, denying God
As you mess in your pants daily
Spend every last minute of every last day

Feeling smutty with no need of Church
Your church is found in the whores promises
And you get yourself together to sin
The bookstores hold only one thing for you
And that is mental waste
You lie to yourself saying:
"I need the release."
"Pornea" is a greek word

That has become your salvation
It is only a sinners substitute
For God
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387
Flavor
My Vanilla
Drips
Forming White
Smudges
Plop It
Goes
And I
Grimace
But Also
Think
My Patience
Runs
Down My
Hand
But I
Wish
That I
Had
A Special
Flavor
For My
Shoes
To Go
With
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388
Janet Reno and Jesus
So I thought about the end of the world...

About the ATF killing children in Waco.
And all I could come up with was fate.
Fate is a diseased poison. A rebel idealism.
FEMA and the Clinton Administration...
Where can we go right? Hmmm...
I have no idea of the outcome of us.
The USA and the permanent state of confusion.
I forgot about the tip for the waiter...
Who's land is used? Who's waters abused?
I never thought I would write the term down:
Y2K
This is my first time.

I don't like it.
It disturbs me.
It is wrong to focus...
On something
other than
Christ.
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389
Despise
I despise evil that hurts

I despise victims that whine
I despise demonic torture
I despise myself despising
I want it to last, when I rejoice

It want it to be special
I wish my sore spirit would heal
I wish I could fly unhindered
Destination: Detox
Cleansing: Soulspire
Reflux: Determination
Redemption: Possible
I despise not flying

I despise not infesting
I despise not requesting
I despise myself despising
I need the redemption

I crave Gods touch
I return, the faithless warrior
I besmirch nothing in love
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390
Couch Potato and Tranquillity act
Life pilots my direction. Pinpoints my way.

Life qualifies position. Determines the day.
"Are we going home now?" he asked.

"no", she said, "we're going to grandma's".
Quintuplets of faith (estimates of the salvation experience)

The appraisal of true happiness (an assurance adjuster)
The lamp shown bright, and shown on true.

As it was turned on, it dispelled the darkness.
...and she rode the wild stallion

...and she conquered the savage
...and she returned the victor
...and she yearned for acclimation
Hilarious Hispanics came by

they wanted pie
I gave them apple
they waved goodbye
-------------------------------
391
The Drop
Drops of life
continue
down
in your
soul
and you open
your heart
and let
Christ
become
your reality
-------------------------------------
392
Duece Tri Ott
Many Moons smile and glow

Day after day they come
Nights then they go
They favor no one
They smile their white face
They illuminate the dark
They rise different
But the same
A new face every month
Day after day
slivered or full
or waxing or new
waning to reach out
and touch my soul
----------------------------------
393
One and three
Save myself from dying

Heal my love from crying
Take my heart my Jesus
How can I help my bleeding
It's winter time and I realize
My dreams have become atrophied
Your spotlight on my life diminishes
Create in me a clean heart
I fall away I don't like it
I burn my soul, deny me pride

My soul is renewed in your hope
Please heal this iconoclast
Take my broken wings
Heal my soul from dying
How is life so empty?
When does time stand still?
The last odd day was
11-19-1999
and it won't happen again until
1-1-3111
and since that's so far away...

it doesn't help me now.
-------------------------------------
394
Scatter/Hare Brain
A functionless Society serves no eternal good other than its own end. Unexcited and disturbing
was my heart ripped open and thrown into the fire. Salty lips are paradox when whispered in a
velvet box. All of these indescrepancies should be thrown out of the way. Everybody touch my
soul, there's no place else to go. There are crazy people who desire to make you do strange
things. These are unwanted and uninvited things. These are the people who suck. I cannot
contain life, it contains me. Forgiveness is sudden desperation, turned inside out.
Dedicated to Joshy
-------------------------------------
395
After the bomb
The year is unknown. It is still our Planet in the general sense as we know it. No one really knows
what happened to Terra Fima. We never achieved global harmony, the one world government
was a failure, and in short... Things have changed. There are more than twelve billion people on
the planet, and perhaps 68% of them are under the age of 30. The Nile Flu, H.I.V., Hanta,
Crimson Death, and the latest Myra Virus have swept the Earth with ravaging destruction. The
world is a world of growth and turmoil. After the third world war and the threat of a fourth, Nuclear
power became almost obsolete. People had begun a world-conscious effort to live on a now toxic
planet.
California had for the most part sunk into the sea at the end of the Twenty Second Century. The
Hudson Bay had joined with Lake Superior. Most of the Islands of the Philippines and Indonesia
have disappeared. Large desserts like the Sudan, The Mohave and most of Australia have
become forests and grasslands. In contrast, most of the Jungles of South America, Asia and
Africa were turned into charred remains of the greenery that it once was.
After World War III, There was not much left to tell of the history of our life. The only history is
new history it seems... But it seems that knowledge was not lost. Many of the observations during
this time were taken by a small newspaper in the small town of what was once Byrd, Kansas.
Now that sight is the home of the New ARC Government... one of the largest Military
governments known to the New Americas.
New technologies rose overnight. New companies rose and fell with the power of the stock
market gone... Governments disintegrated into corporations and the odd militia... Regulations for
medical experimentation, gun control, slavery, and the court system were virtually non-existent.
Computers rose again. They were smaller. Faster. Cheaper. They were everywhere. Money
became the TiXCard... A system that held Medical, Financial, Personal, and Criminal information
on each and every person. Weaponry and Machines of war almost disappeared from public
view... it seemed to be almost inaccessible to the normal person. Data was a more capable
weapon to the public. Yet firepower was used. The police, gangs, and all employed by both the
Militia and Corporations. Between these it was war and blood shed. It is an odd future. But it is
ours.
-------------------------------------
396
bonnie and jessie wheat,
i have always loved your daughter, from the first moments that we were together. the fruit is
there. i gave her what she asked for. i prayed for her. i was a shoulder and a sheild. this terrible
mistake should not shine any ill on my feelings towards you or your husband. i always loved you
two and pray that you will be ok. i also hope and wish that jessie continues to heal and that no
more ill health will befall him. to my knowledge i did not lie to your daughter. giving her the car
was a stipulation upon my staying her husband. i gave her approx. $3,380 (this includes the car),
and feel that this is a significant amount. i kept $1,400, and used it to buy a cell phone, pay bills:
rent, electric, insurance, my medical bills from when v.p. dropped my insurance, and get my
master cylinder, and brakes fixed.
it was my intent to live there and work on building Godly skills for our marraige. i did not intend for
things to work out like they did. i didn't know that she was still "attached" to kyle. i assure you that
i was honest and upright in my dealings with her. to my knowledge i took a pair of pants out of the
washer without knowing, but i did not steal, or misuse anything of hers. i will not harass her, i will
not see the children, i will not do anything to betray my love for her, or to "hurt" her or her
situation.
neely needs to listen to the Lord about her sexual sins. i pray that God can heal her from this
terrible curse that is upon her life. according to Romans the first chapter, she is in danger.
i do not say this to attack her or you. it is not my intent for her to hear or read this letter bonnie.
what you choose to do with it is up to you. you once read me a poem and called me your son,
and i do not wish (or ever wished) to disrespect you in any way. in your own way, you showed me
how to love. i thank you honestly for that opportunity. although you and i will probably never see
eye to eye on many a subject, i pray that one day you can see me as a brother in Christ.
i do not intend to contact her anymore. as a matter of fact i am blocking her off of my phone and
my e-mail. the has "gotten back together" with me twice. i do not think that God intended me to
become a doormat for the world. this is twice. shame on me, or something like that... i want to
sever this relationship and be done, and move on. God bless you bonnie and your husband too.
you may feel free to contact me at paulyhart@hotmail.com, although i am not sure why you would
want to.
i understand that you are probably frustrated at her, and angry at me. but i do want to say thank
you for inviting me into your family... if only for a while. you are pretty cool in your own goofy way.
kiss your mom for me, she is a treasure, and i miss visiting her at the vet. home. tell her i
remember what we talked about (she'll know what i'm talking about), and that i still pray like she
told me.
well, if i never hear from you again. goodbye, and may God bless you.
thank you,
paul bradley hart
-----------------------------
397
Mind set yet
Tenacity, or maybe audacity

perforates this earthly suit
I strive whole-heartedly towards
a Christ-like mind set yet
Why do I strive except

for my own selfish desire
And why do I desire it
To be the best "me" possible
But Jesus doesn't want "ME"

He just WANTS...
And it is an infidel,
Who tries to outguess God.
-------------------------------------
398
Live
I always seem
To not believe
The world wide truth
Of awesome realms
Of Gods own love
Nobody cares
No one can see
Why do we shirk
Our destiny
My heart is Gods
The red wind blows

Between the lines
My Spirit flows
Upon my cries
And I know God
Can rescue me
I'm still just scared
Of what will
happen...
To my life
Is this right
Hear my cry
Let me just die
Here lie my dreams

And now my face
Why can't these crimes
Just be erased
Unzip my heart
And bridge my mind
Will you let me
Just live my life
Let me die
Let me be
Let me see
Let me live
------------------------------------------------
399
A poem for the hurting

Why are you feeling down?
Can you express your true self?
Would you feel better if you killed me?
Perhaps if you hurt a small animal?
Better not to sin for fun though.
God tends to frown on these things.
It's bad for your emotional stabilizer too.
Adriane. You are a weird and funny friend.
Here, I'll write you a poem:
Life is short
If time is right
Life with hope
Is life with light
Life is good
When life IS good
But life without life
Is no life at all
Because who needs a
life that sucks butt?
So smile - Jesus cares.
-------------------------------------
400
Forever grace
Forever grace to be mine.

Lost in the hand that holds
Crinkled in the depths of desire
Crushed by the love that gives
Forever grace to be mine
Is Jesus and his Fatherly face
Smiling upon me wisely forever
grace grace grace grace grace grace
grace grace grace grace grace
grace grace grace grace
grace grace grace
grace grace
grace
Forever grace
-------------------------------------
401
Gorfoleddu
Gaelic for "Rejoice"
Today you will rest with creation.

Today you will dwell among angels.
And yes, you have visions of rapture.
Never more of Earth or of Hell.
You leave us a warrior, a legend.

My Grandpa, my Chaplain, my Friend.
In living, In loving, In leaving.
You've come to this lifes final end.
A symphony played its' finale'.

A dramas' last curtain call.
It seems that I never did wonder.
You had strength and hope for us all.
Rejoice, good and faithful servant.

Behold the Lord calling your name.
For slave you made yourself to Him.
And He calls out your name.
So rejoice!
The Lord, your God and your Helper.

Your hand in great time of need.
Rewards you now for your service.
For thousands of souls and of deeds.
A heart warming welcome it will be.

A joyful sound to the ears.
For Heaven is now the more crowded.
By Hoyt Eudalys shed sweat and tears.
Joining your wife and your daughter.

And millions of saints gone before.
You feel no more pain or discomfort.
Your body is healed all the more.
You will see your family forever.

I regret that you have not met mine.
But Heaven has great ways of revealing.
You see more clearer now, than do I.
Farewell my good friend, Hoyt Eudaly.

I feel you now praying for me
And I know that you'll save a table.
For us all at that great wedding feast.
-------------------------------------
402
All in All
You are my all, my all in all.

You are my heart, my strength, my song.
I once was Saul, but now I'm Paul.
Remember Abram, I am Abraham.
Sarai was I, I don't care! I'm Sarah!
Change my name
Change my heart
Change my game.
You are my all in all in all

You are my heart, my Lord, my God and my song.
I once was Saul, but now I'm Paul.

Remember Abram, I am Abraham.
Sarai was I, I don't care! I'm Sarah!
You are my all in all in all.
Change my name
Change my heart
Change my game.
You are my all in all in all
Copyright 2000 by PAUL
-------------------------------------
403
Liquis
+ Blood from my hands calls me a martyr.

+ Cool-whip from my mouth calls me a glutton.
+ Tears from my eyes calls me a pray-er.
+ Sweat from my groin calls me a slave.
+ Grease from my hands calls me a slob.
+
+ Nothing changes, I should be used to that.
+ I write the letters... They are so clear.
+ It seems that love is never near.
+ It's all right. It's all right...
&
> Blood from my heart calls me your Lord.
> Water from my side calls me your Lover.
>
> Nothing changes, and I'm not used to that.
> You write your letter, You're never clear.
> It seems your love is all but near.
> It's not right, It's not right.
> Make a change.
-------------------------------------
404
To worship a deity
Praise is a weapon. At Jericho, the children of Israel marched and marched and marched and
praised. Praise is a great form of expression. Praise can be a wonderful tool. Praise can be
many, many things. Praise, in the dictionary, is a way of expressing high acclimation to a person
or persons that you would not normally give to any other person. But praise to me is just a way of
telling the people around me, the angels, the demons, and almighty God himself just how much I
love Him.
If I had lived in the days when Christ had walked the earth, I would have liked to have asked
him all about praise and worship. You see, today, we have narrowed it down to a slick formula.
Three fast songs, two slow songs, hymn number one sixty four, the choirs special, the statement
of faith, then the mourning (oops, I mean morning) announcements, and then pastor comes up.
Barf! That's not the way to reverence God in a proper attitude of humbleness, gratefulness, and
loving-kindness! That is hypocrisy! They say that whatever you do most in a day is what you're
most committed to. Well, just how many hours a day do you spend sleeping? How about eating?
How long do you spend in your car; driving, listening to that new talk show, and honking at the
jerk in front of you? Count all of those times, and then count your hours of prayer, scripture
reading, meditation, worship, memorization, and proclamation. Hmmm. . . I wonder which list has
more hours written down? Just how much do we worship and praise Him?
I wish we could know God as Jesus prayed in John chapter seventeen. I wish I could know
Him like that. How I long to be able to reach out to Him and to be close to Him, and for Him to
just sit awhile with me. For Him to just hold me. Moment by moment, till forever passes by. But
I'm still earth-tied. I just wish we could see Him for how He really is. If only for one nano-second!
I wonder if you would die? Who cares! I'll be forever with Him anyway!
People, come on. Let's get with the program. To really worship The Father implies that we
crawl up on His lap and kiss his cheek. When was the last time you heard such intimacy
preached from a religious pulpit? It's easier to live that one out in the real world, like Jesus did.
With the prostitutes, the refugees, the drug-dealers, the sick and the dying.
Jesus called The Father "Abba" which is the most simplistic form of fatherhood ever spoken.
Translated it is da-da. I call him Daddy sometimes. It feels really weird. So many of us have a
warped view of what a Father should be. I try to worship him as he ought to be. I try to praise
Him as he deserves to be. Nothing I do will ever come close to the awesomeness he possess in
him little finger. Try to give Him the honor He commands. Try to praise Him, and try your hardest
to worship the King. The tremendous truth is... You can!
-------------------------------------
405
The Great Prayer
Forging ahead, my hands hurt.

I sail towards in my ship.
I seek your stars.
I seek your smile.
Snap the ropes, jigs and sails.

Strike the main when the storms devour.
My hands hurt.
My heart remains.
I am breathless.
I journey on.
I want my task done.
I desire salvation.
For these souls I carry.
Catch me Jesus.
I'm falling.
The bones in my arms ache.

I cannot bear it!
How do I suppose to
bring the church to you...
When rocks don't float?
-------------------------------------
406
Army girl in her closet
Where are the valleys filled with flowers?

Where are the mountains with snow?
Where are the meadows, where are the children?
I sure wish, I'd like to know.
Where is the laughter, where is the singing?

Where are the people who care?
Where is the villa with bells that are ringing?
I would like to go.
I want to be where the happiness is.

I wish we all could be fine.
I wonder why good people die?
I'm sure that I don't know.
Why are you crying, why are you hurting?
Talk with me to the end.
Please don't be lonely, please don't be dying.
Please don't be hurting, please don't be crying.
I want to go where the children are playing.
Take me there, take me there.
Take me there, my friend.
-------------------------------------
407
Hello
Oh dearest love, sweet charity,

We are not one but we are three,
Yes three, for it is God, you and me.
I yearn deeply, yes I yearn for you
I cannot yearn for something more,
I feel the power of loves sweet lore.
It was I that washed up on your shore.
I can see you and I listen too,

The other senses are not so new,
But for the knowing, for those true.
Love is great and sex can wait,
There are still some who hesitate,
These people live, but sin God hates.
Give the Devil no place in life,

Do not enter into strife,
Submit to God at any price.
The few, the coveted, the proud,
Some stand by them in any crowd,
I wear Gods grace as like a shroud.
She loves me or she loves me not,

Forget that garbage, for it's rot,
She loves me and she hates me not.
Jesus, joy of my desire,
You are the burning in my fire,
You I love, trust, and admire.
-------------------------------------
408
Views
I tend to think in strange terms... but at what point CAN you actually cut off humankind from
their humanness? Or I could ask this: When does a sentient being become a sentient being? At
what point is a person actually defined as a person? Is it when the sperm is captured by the egg?
Is it when they develop into a fetus? Is it at birth? Or is it perhaps at christening or baptism? Or
how about at the age of reasoning when they can differentiate between right and wrong?
I believe that you don't know do you? I think that you are sitting there reading these very words
and still do not have any idea your own VIEWS on the subject on Creation, Life, and Abortion.
Well, here: let me tell you what others think: In the 1100's, Provision 53 of the Assyrian code
declared that any woman who was caught having done an abortion on herself or any woman who
had received an abortion, must be impaled on spikes in public view without the dignity of burial.
Even later Greeks, Romans, Catholics and Muslims alike agreed separately, that abortion was
wrong. In historic Judaism, we find abortion of a child a sin that cannot be tolerated, except that
when the mothers life is endangered.
Every doctor that graduated from any major medical school in the United States takes the
Hippocratic Oath. Hippocrates stated that Abortion under no circumstances was a just, fair or
"right" thing to do... and Every Doctor swears that they will never perform this travesty upon
another human. But, they still do it don't they?
Well, the first written law prohibiting abortion anywhere was the Miscarriage of Women act in
1803 published in England. A later act was written in 1828, and again in 1961 and remained in
effect until 1968. Even then, it was only in the case where it is a necessary thing if it threatens the
mental and physical health of a mother; or if it seems that the child will be born with handicaps.
This law applies to everybody except Northern Ireland, where it is still illegal.
Even in 1871 the New York Times called abortion the "Evil of the Age"... The American
Medical Association waged war against it via literature and soliciting. They were quoted saying
that "She (women) yields to the pleasures - but shrinks from the pains and responsibilities of
maternity... She sinks into old age like a withered tree, stripped of its foliage, with the stain of
blood upon her soul, she dies without the hand of affection to smooth her pillow."
So tell me... What are your views? I would like to know...

And for Gods sake... what exactly happened in the 60's? And don't give me this bullshit story
about free love and all that. I'll tell you what happened. We rejected the teachings of our Lord
Christ and Savior by allowing this injustice to flush through our souls like fouled sewage. We have
seen the pustulating corpse of Abortion in its true form of pre-meditated slaughter and did naught
but winked... We have drank the urine of society and pretended not to notice.
I notice. And I tend to think that God does too.
-----------------------------------------
409
Grey/Gray
I'm lost in a world of gray.

when you stand nowhere today.
forever is like the tide.
it's waves bend us in our minds.
i need you more than the state.

did you know i cannot hate?
when you stand so far away.
-------------------------------------
410
Pour
If I pour myself out, then the Lord will re-fill me.

Unfortunately, it is not always the other way around.
I wish it were so, but I need to do in order to get.
It is more joyful to give than to receive.
Spiritual muscles are developed and grow by stretching and by use.
It is the job of Christians to grow.
Spiritual food is contained in the four food groups.
The Meat of his Will, the Fruit of the Spirit,
the Bread of Life, the Milk of the Word,
and always have plenty of Living Water with each meal.
Stay clear of spiritual "feel-good" junk food.
If you eat and do not exercise, you will be a Bible blob.
B.I.B.L.E. Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth.
The two things that we should be ready to do...
preach or die. Christ did not come to bring peace,
but a sword.
Why are so there so many
Christians witnessing instead of being witnesses?
If you have all spiritual gifts and speak with the tongues of
angels, but you don't have love,
then all you are is useless and annoying.
He came to comfort the afflicted,
but also to afflict the comfortable.
Character is. . . Christ within you.
Cultural Christianity is church attending,
and having Roast Preacher.
Jesus style Christianity is laying down your life for your enemy.
Jesus said to be born again only once.
He said "Follow me" over and over and over.
On Earth we should worship Him, and to lead others to do the same.
Those who visit Jesus in prison
are those who visit the least of men.
We shouldn't rejoice that we have power over demons.
What would you do if...
He told you to sell all you have and give to the poor?
What would you do if...
He told you to sell all you have and give it to Him?
And finally, Christianity is by far, the most philosophically
sound religion.
But do you have what it takes to not just accept Christ,
but to believe Him as well?
-------------------------------------
411
Hunt
>>>Accessing System Registry<<<

>>>Scanning<<<
>>>...<<<
>>Seeking<<
>>Scanning<<
>>Searching<<
>>Finding <<
>>>>>>Target Located: Renegade New Boston Biogen Lab Experiment X02-101<<<<<<<
>>Name: Aptrix Viil<<

>>Height: 5'11<<
>>Weight: 190 LBS<<
>>Race: Kimph /// Fox-Human Mutant Breed<<
>>Physical Description: Evolved fox based with human genes and cellular structure.<<
>>Status: Escaped recently from New Boston Biogen: 115 HORs ago. Kill on target.<<
>>Caution: Target is equipped with An unknown amount of Flash Thermal Energy Disruptor
Pods. AKA: TED<<
>>Caution: One Flash 89.S0 disruptor pistol also in possession, fully charged.<<
The metal claws scratched the floor as they walked slowly farther down into the alley. A scruff ran
passed on the floor which was immediately scanned by its registry. A light hum was heard then. It
took form. Another scruff appeared on the skanky concrete floor. The new scruff silently crept
along the walls and proceeded down to where the fire was burning. beckoning it to come nearer.
The renegade Kimph was sitting on a box, in front a converted barrel which was now burning hot
with orange heat. Aptrix Viil was busily chewing Samone with a hint of ginseng. The scruff
scurried along the wall and leapt onto the floor beside Aptrix. The fox man's ears perked up and
he turned to his side, seeing the little pink critter. "Get out of here you pest!" he said, waving his
gun at the little rodent. The scruff didn't move but it seemed to flicker out of distortion like an older
TV set. Aptrix rubbed his eyes... Then quickly came upon the realization of what it was before
him. His hands were trembling as he uttered the words in a dry whisper: "Lo-Ami".
Aptrix sprung into the air and back flipped away from the dissolving scruff, and while still in midair
he shot repeatedly at the rodent. All his shots were in vain, missing just inches to the left. Another
hum... Lo-Ami took form: Metal claws glinting in the fire's light. Aptrix dashed away from Lo-Ami
and ran down the alleyway, back into the street. Pound. Pound. Pound. His feet and heart were
speeding along quite nicely now. Lo-Ami's Plasma Quad Sequencer was locked onto Aptrix's
DNA, and he rocketed down and around on Aptrix’s tail almost as quickly, with the whine of his
rocket booster lifting him high into the sky. The Blades on his forearms, serrated with
technological keenness, began to rotate in a berserker frenzy. Aptrix, dodging left and right down
the alley had to do something. Taking out a TED, he tossed it behind him in the general direction
of where the killer robot might be in the next few seconds. He broke out of the darkness into the
bright street, filled with dozens of glowing screens from nearby stores and nightclubs. Citizens of
the city were crowded near the alleyway, as they tried to get into the Neo Sushi, one of the
hottest spots in the vicinity. Aptrix made his way into the crowd of the lineup, as he quietly looked
at the detonator in his hand and hit the switch.
There was no sound. No explosion. No mechanical crumpling that would have foretold of his
success. Aptrix was worried. The TED had enough power to take out any mechanized menace
that might try to take him out. Yet this was Lo-Ami. What had happened to him? Aptrix felt
suddenly sick in the stomach, as if someone had kicked him... Lo-Ami had known about the TED
Pod... and had somehow jammed it before he had a chance to detonate it. Suddenly all of the
screens on the stores and even the one on the storefront of the Neo Sushi flickered and was
replaced with another image, with a text banner above it: "The capture of Aptrix Viil... Public
Enemy #4576! Brought to you by Lo-Ami and Gordos Pasta Bites!" Live and in color. All of the
people in the crowd looked to him as he backed away. Seeing himself on the screen was a
disorienting thing. Almost dreamlike. But where was the camera? Whirling he found it. Behind
him, hovering like a guillotine was Lo-Ami. Plasma Quad at the ready. "Target Achieved" whirred
the debacle. "Destroy Target". There was a great yell as all the people in the streets ducked for
cover. Aptrix took cover in the crowd but Lo-Ami hovered above the Neo Sushi, and let two thick
beams of blue plasma emit from the guns engulfing the whole crowd in front of the sushi bar. A
huge explosion... then... nothing. No line of people. No renegade mutant. The entrance to Neo
Sushi was now opened to all those waiting. But there was no one waiting. Neo Sushi's front was
nothing but a big hole in the wall filled with flames and fallen steel beams... Some metal and
some bone. Remnants of the crowd now gone...
COMPLETION STATUS?
>>>Mission Accomplished<<<
>>>Target Exterminated<<<
>>>Civilian Casualties<<<
>>>Scanning<<<
>>>39<<<
>>>46<<<
>>>59<<<
IGNORE
>>>Confirmed<<<
>>>Civilian Casualties<<<
>>>0<<<
CONFIRMED
Lo-Ami burst off into the afternoon sky, with the smoke still blowing in the wind.
-------------------------------------
412
Satisfaction
She is not pretty, nor are her friends

but she wanted pleasure from life
and could not find it in anything
phonecarpizzafriendlifeshopping
nothing satisfies emptiness of self
He was not pretty, nor were his friends

but he talked her into pleasure
not pleasure at all, but Hell
phonecarpizzadoctorsbabyaids
nothing satisfies like emptiness of sex
-------------------------------------
413
Relax
If everyone felt relaxation

coming out of their nose
If everyone felt
the feeling coming
out
out
of their noses
choking on happiness
until they died of hope
If they knew life
then they would die
-------------------------------------
414
And I will worship

(Thoughts inspired by Keith Wheeler)
I usually ache when I work. I sweat and grind and sputter away doing my endless tasks. I spend
my time making money for those who take it away. I use what little I can to support my family
who love me in return. The rest... well, the rest is gone. There is typically nothing left at the end of
the check. This is the way it is with my God. I live my life for myself and for others, and when the
time comes to give God his due, there is no time left. Perhaps I should re-evaluate my spent time.
What could work out the best? I believe that if I turned over all of my firsts (all of my beginnings)
to God, it could prove to be beneficial. If I give it up... will I get it back? I guess I am reminded of a
certain promise: "No one has left father or mother or spouse in vain, they will receive back their
due in this life and in the life to come.". Well it sure sounds nice doesn't it? What if I am to go
whole-hog and embark on this teaching? will it turn out to work? Will it bring results? Yes. I
believe that it will. If I open my heart out to the Lord each day before opening it up to anything
else, day after day; and if I tithe the first part of my paycheck, instead of the leftovers... and if I
really DO love God with all my heart and soul, then He will prove to be the God that He is
destined to be in my life. He is Jehovah. The Boss. El Senior. I often wonder why we sing the
song: "Oh magnify the Lord"? How can God actually get any bigger than what He already is? We
also have heard the saying "More of You". How is it possible for us to have more of an
omnipresent God in our life?
Perhaps it is the reverse of these two sayings in reality that is truth. We need to magnify our
relationship with Him in our lives... and HE needs more of US. We must give God what is His,
what is ours and even what we even think is ours. In truth, everything is His. How could we even
claim that "I earned it with my own sweat and blood." Who do you think gave you the ability to
work in the first place? Who gave you breath? Arms? Legs? Who gave you life? See, the Earth is
the Lords and all that is in it. He made it and He owns it. He lets us live on His planet to do the
things he has commanded. Love God and love people. That's about all we are summed up to do.
As Adam was a Gardener and a Zoologist, and Jesus was a Carpenter, so we must work with all
our might towards our calling on this planet. But like the two, we must always give firstfruits to the
one who created us. That is why we, in the Western World pray before our meal instead of after. I
must ask myself, that, in light of all this, what am I to do with my family and my spouse and
everything that I deem "mine"? I believe that I will stick with Joshua on this one. "As for me and
my house... we will serve the Lord".
-------------------------------------
415
Daydream
She squinted
and laughed and looked up dreamily
at my friend who played the guitar
some day she will cry
because her dad raped her
but today she smiles
dreamily at my friend
as he plays
-------------------------------------
416
'Twas Luck
A bread crumb fell on a path

Forgotten by a weary travelers purse
and perchance lay in a sunlit way
spied by a lark on a perch.
As the bird would have

he did take to his wing
lighting upon bread in a swoop
and catching it up in his beak
But luck is cruel this fateful day

for at this time a cat a prowl
not a sound nor a fray
could help this lark that day
-------------------------------------
417
Truth with Broccoli
God ain't some celestial butler

Not some whore in any ole' street
bought off cheap
God is God all by himself
He don't need nobody else
God is a big bad mother (Watch you mouth)
An' He don take no from nobody
He ain't like that
No suh! God is a God of bigness
God is big man! I mean big!
He... He's like vegetables man! Yeah!
He's like dem veggies that yo mamma said.
She said: Boiy, you'd best be eatin dem!
You ain't gonna get NO DESSERT TONIGHT!
God's big! Man alive! I wish I could tell ya!
Land sakes... God's just too big to talk about.
Whew!
-----------------------------------------------------------------
418
Leprous Anarchy
Take my leprous anarchy and waste it.

Take my diseased soul, deface it.
Use my hellish heart and maim me.

Take my worthless mind, destroy me.
You made me
So take care: me
You formed me
Restore: me
God above, your senseless love astounds me.
-------------------------------------
419
touchy
If roses were all my olfacters could see.

And sunsets were all my retinas could feel.
Sugar being every taste I've ever heard.
Soft skin touching every smell.

Laughter was listened on my tongue.
I would die
no one would care
-------------------------------------
420
This is a Poem
A whisper, a voice, an old hag murmurs

She weaves her purple tapestry
Prisoner in chains, she sews the rug of kings
Doomed to die when she ends her task
Wisps of smoke and dirty candle wax

Fill the stale, old room
Shivering in a pasty sweat, bent over
It is her life, it is her death
-------------------------------------
421
Flowing
There is a river dear to my soul
River of love that makes me whole
Creating life in all the day
River of God bring me your way
Rushing Spirit / How I love you

You are mine / I am yours
There is an ocean
Wide within me
And its tide shall
Bring you home
There is a well-spring within my soul

Bright crystal waters heal me whole
Breathing wonders all the day
Flood of Jesus come my way
Flowing Spirit / I adore you

You are mine / I am yours
-------------------------------------
422
Fear
Fear captivates ones' soul

Feeling the forged iron of adrenaline
When you dream of monsters
Become the monster you dream of
Destroying faith and hope
Heaven and Hell combine on the Earth
When you dream
Fear is the lover of Devils
The lover of Satans cream
Fear captivates ones soul
Freeing deaths hold opening the box
so you no longer believe in...
-------------------------------------
423
Hangs now Peter
i hang and hung and was hung

hung upside down on Christs cross
not worthy to die correctly up
down the blood rushed up my hair
drip dripping drip
cross of sin cross of death
cross of CHRIST i am not worthy
to die like the master so i drip
rightside upside down drip
-------------------------------------
424
Snap.
Tight and Strong. The Wire of Support.

I walked above Niagara.
Think about the other side.
Think about the other side.
Do not. Think about the fall.
Snap.
Not the Rope.
My Concentration.
(the funny thing about a fall of demise

is nothing)
-------------------------------------
425
9-15-98 4AM
Today I am at peace with myself.

At peace with God, Michele and the world.
I see things in a new light.
I realize how wrong I've been.
Dependency on people is fleeting.

Only what Christ gives will last.
Imagine myself on a raft floating.
No cares. Ambitions. Dreams.
Now imagine true peace.
This is the peace that I know I feel.

This is the peace that God brings
I love myself.
I love life itself.
Life is a treasure. A joy. A newness each day.

And today is a new day.
Today is the day I find joy.
Today is the day I begin.
-------------------------------------
426
Dad and Linda
Come once without provocation

Come over and see me
Delighting in past recollections
Why oh why you crazy people
Disturb my fear with sunlight
And wafting you come
And wafting you go
Like a nursery rhyme
That was never heard
-------------------------------------
427
Procrastination
I need more love

Today I'll seek joy
Tomorrow joy
But now I find

that all lifes sins
defeat joy
destroy laughter
I am left
Baked and bruised
A Chrysalis, crushed
Love and peace inside

but poured out onto souls
contain nothing
Sunrise on hope
A smile, a kiss
and tender-heartedness
Crushed and bruised

The writhing soul sees nothing
except his decadence
Why if I try, do I find

pleasure in crap?
pleasure in shit?
-------------------------------------
428
Of love and secret regret
These
regrets I have...
poetry never read...
grandchildren never played with...
smiles never given...
hugs never taken...
the phone calls shortened...
Lord, make me have regrets no longer.
-------------------------------------
429
Who am I?
If I dream, I dream of Loneliness. I sit hollow, doubtless I die inside. My world is hollow and my
hands are numb from holding deaths frozen door. I am an empty shell of a lost spectre. Women
see me as shy. Bothersome. They don't perceive. And they don't care. I could spend my whole
life emptying myself and pouring out my soul to the world and yet none would catch even a
glimpse of the beginnings of me. What does my life amount to? Who knows? Who actually cares
anyway? My voice is the lost voice of reason in a lusty wrangle with the great kiss of passion. For
logic is but a beggar, crying out raw at the doorway of emotion. Clinging... Always clinging. Am I
Solomon? Does my life equal his vision and meaninglessness? My knowledge is equal to that of
a god, by my actions betray my unrighteous and meager existence. Mouths ramble in front of me,
speaking tunnel-visioned idealisms, missing the point. MISSING THE WHOLE POINT! I am alone
in my wisdom. For my wisdom is not of this world. It is divine. But divinity enfleshed is an elusive
creature. A very hard subject to grasp. So, when I dream, I dream of a day where Martin Luther
and Martin Luther King Jr. stand side by side and chant the very oracles of Jehovah. They
preach? Yes. They preach, but who is there to listen? Yellow, spineless I. I hear but do not act
upon suppositions given by martyrs. These words haunt me. Is my life more or is it less than the
sum of my actions? Where does the fulcrum sit in my decrepit philosophy? I don't understand. I
can't understand any more than I do. Why? Why? Why in Gods' holy name can't I be strong? Like
my mentors before me? Like St. Paul, like Elijah, like Josiah, like Jesus? Jesus was so perfect...
So much like His Father in Heaven. He was one with his Father. My goal then, is typified in him.
How can I even begin to fathom His likeness, when my very own likeness is a dead shadow that
is formless in a world that is wrinkled and black. Taste and smell evade me. Taste is tasteless
and pain is never painless. Every summation of my hypothetical life add up to this: I can not do
what I say. I do not do what is right to do, and do not care to either. Therein lies the problem. A
very serious problem. But this problem is not seen by others. For others babble like brooks. And,
as I sit, alone in my canoe, I hear them. I don't listen, but instead, paddle the other way.
-------------------------------------
430
You are always you
You have been a friend to a hungry soul.

You have been a solace on a winters night.
You'll never know just how much,

You've meant in times of fire;
You'll never see how much I trusted you.
You were there when I needed a caring ear.

You played a song for me, and asked me my thoughts
You'll never know how much that meant,

You'll never see my heart,
You've impacted the world through me too.
You are real and you are daring,

You are scatterbrained and lost,
You are all I needed in a model for youth.
You're compassionate and goofy,

You're talkative and nice,
You're trusting God to hold on to you.
You walked around without much pretense.

You're humble like Jesus, but with more opinions.
Your songs still make my heart break,

Your stories make my head ache,
Your nice to call me "friend" like you do.
You're a keeper, You're original.

You are who God made you:
Simply you.
-a tribute to Rich Mullins-
-passed from this life on 9-23-97-
-------------------------------------
431
What I usually do...
As I was pondering on how to best write these days, I thought of several different ways that would
seem appropriate. As you might have guessed from other works of mine, I hold true to many
tenants of Christianity. I also hold true to the fact that faith is a personal thing... not to be sold or
bought cheaply without thinking. I never have thought of the most popular topics to write on, and I
do not feel that I will win any awards for my ramblings. However, they are important to me... and
for me to not write would be a sin.
As we humans are raised up into this world, we bring certain idealisms into our thought-collective.
We see a glimmer of hope in a certain paradigm and thus swallow it up. Not bothering to seek a
different way, but accepting the way given to us. Part of the foundation of Spiritual Christianity is
to NOT accept those thoughts one has always had. Christianity is a challenge to those ideals and
is always in contention within our hearts and our minds for supremacy. I have always asserted
myself forward under these notions: I will reject my opinion and press on for TRUTH. This is one
of my greatest challenges to this day.
The statement goes like this: Truth is only that which truth
confirms. The concept of this is staggering.
But however true one corner of the jigsaw puzzle is... it is the complete opposite of the corner
furthest from it. Like I am fond of saying: "A smart man learns from his own mistakes, but a wise
man learns from the mistakes of others." I know that my truth is not your truth... but a part of the
whole puzzle. Therefore I will surpass supposition.
However true experiences are, they can never rival the Word of God. And, so when in question;
yours, mine, and all other Christians judgement falls under the authority of Jesus and the Holy
Words of God.
I would say that it does not matter where your piece of the puzzle lays. True Spiritual Jesus-
Loving is the focus of the "Pure". And as to that: the pure are the ones interested in building
bridges from puzzle to puzzle... not tearing them down.
-------------------------------------
432
The World
Greater is He that is in us, than he that is in the world. Our ultimate goal as Christians for the
world, should be for us to lead into Gods glory. We should not condemn the world or call curses
down from heaven upon the world. But rather, we should love it. Try to help it... and with
diligence, try to save it from the fires of Hell. The Earth is the Lords and the fullness thereof.
However, the World belongs to the evil one. Let us define these.
Earth: The physical globe that God created and the solar
system. The flora, fauna, air, wind, and rock.
World: The evil realm of human existence... and what should our attitude be towards the
world?
-------------------------------------
433
Solution
Friends are your joy in life

Sex is what carries the night
Drugs are what gets you by
But Jesus is nowhere in sight
Do you think that God sees you

Is it Jesus that bleeds over you
Do you know why God even cares
Do you believe He can take you there
Jesus will care for you

But won't take your problems away
It's not that you have the perfect life
But the solutions a prayer away
-------------------------------------
434
Adoration
(Spontaneous Song on 2-23-00)
Lord you lead me when I am alone

I trust in you
I trust in you
I shall need not fear any stone

I trust in you
I trust in you
I trust in you, you never forsake

I trust in you to never forsake
I trust in you, you never forsake
I trust in you, Lord and God
Lord you lead me when I am alone

I trust in you
I trust in you
I shall need not fear any stone

I trust in you
I trust in you
Jesus
-------------------------------------
435
Desire of Truth
When my soul does die. And my spirit cries.

Lord you are to me... Sufficiency
Oh my heart does break. And my body aches.
Lord you are my fire... Desire
Mighty King. Lover of Justice. You have established

Righteousness.
Exalt the Lord on High. Worship his name.
You sit enthroned on the Cherubim. The Earth quakes before you.
Let us praise your great and awesome name
---------------------
436
Elusive as a greyhound
Pain elusive
Joy obtrusive
Come and dance the night away
To my awkward song
Clear deduction
Souls instruction
Listen closely to my heart
As I tell you why
I was captured
I was prisoned
I went towards life in solitude
And was pushed out of the way
Meek disposal
Hidden reproval
Grant me power to wash away
My poorly hidden sin
-------------------------------------
437
Proclamation
The Spirit of the Lord is upon me

Because He has anointed me
To preach Jesus to the poor
and to heal the broken hearted
To preach liberty to the captives
and to heal the blind

To preach freedom to the imprisoned
and to heal the bruised.
To proclaim:
The acceptable year of the Lord
The vengeance of God and
The comfort of the Spirit
To appoint:
Beauty for ashes
Joy for mourning
Praise for heaviness
That they might be trees,
planted by the Lord,
that He might be glorified.
And today this scripture is fulfilled. . .
Copyright by Jesus, Isaiah, and pauly again in 2002
-------------------------------------
438
believe
there are lives that could be touched there are lines that could be extended sometimes when you
wake up in the middle of the night and you hear yourself crying out to no one it seems like a much
more likely event that the heart sees much more than the eyes let on and what is actually
registered there in the soul of a wise man who once said that it is not best to try and do things
right but that you should just do it forcefully and with no loss so dont try but just do it and that is
where the Loneliness ends and where the wolves do not prowl for putrid bloody flesh but where
truths become a reality for stories that are interwoven with the mesh of the anti-void when the
sands of time become hard clay and the shores of existence become quicksand that is where
nightmares become truth and the sand-man slips under your pillow and the gods of triumph hide
their faces then we shall see who is the overcomer and who is the one who rises up out of the
ashes of our charred humanity and sees the fullness of the God-head and that which is real
becomes false at the end of the line like a very bad b movie with effects that are not special so is
love not based on touch however love based upon principles of true humanity is seen as a threat
to the integral system of all the worlds governing powers that with one fell swoop they should
come down and spread their wings and fly like hungry birds hungry from winter like death by cold
is the way that lives expand and shatter for a life without hope is
no life at all
-------------------------------------
439
Medieval Ministry
On and on time goes on. Warping and wrenching,

Twisting and yearning and violently aching,
Loving, hating. Everything. Nothing.
Time is what it is not. Though it pretends nothing.
We dig, we cover up. We hide. We reveal.
We want so much to be what we are not.
If love comes naturally, why do we force it?
But then again, why don't we recognize it for itself?
Can what is evil ever recognize it?
Can striving for right make up for feeding the dark?
No! Recognize your evil so love can make Himself known!
Evil & Light. Darkness and Right. Time. Time. Time.
Rolls on...
Lines 1-13 (odds) written by Mandie Mac Lean

Lines 2-12 (evens) written by pauly
--------------------------------------
440
Vision Quest
Jesu the vision of my quest

Striving towards, calling me blessed
Call me when you think it's best
Let me ride the spirits crest

--------------------------
441
"O"
1 time Jesus was riding on his donkey. He knew that he was going to die. He knew that he
would die for us and he would rule the world. He knew the good people would live. He wanted to
make the world and rule the world. And to make tigers too. Please let God live because he is
stronger than you.
Written by Blaine Alexsis Harlan

--------------------------
442
Mess
I knew a woman whom I wanted

But she didn't want me...
I dreamed about her

with my hand down my pants
and messed...
And she liked me...
for one
moment.
------------------------------
443
Yadahn
I don't know what you thought you'd find.

I don't know what you expect.
But you don't know me enough to say it...
So I'll be very direct:
Who did you think I was?
You can't take one look at me,
And know what I'm about!
You are so far off you can't even really see...
I want you.
Yadahn want me.
You let drugs come between us.
Something you couldn't get past.
I knew it wasn't true.
I knew it wouldn't last.
I don't know what the hell you were thinking...
What the heck? What the hell?
Did you think that you could change me?
I want you.
Yadahn want me.
Don't know what you see.

But you can't change me.
I don't know what you think you see.
So stop trying to change me.
I want you.
I want you.
I want you.
Yadahn want ME.
Author Unknown
Written at The New Planet Cafe' 1999
------------------------------
444
Foolishness - Foolishness - Foolishness
As I look at my daily life, it all disintegrates

into a thick swirling haze of foolishness
There today
Gone tomorrow
Nothing lasts - Nothing is really worth the effort
Except people - Lonely people
Hurting people
Content people
Complacent people
Everyone missing that thing that enables us
to fully and truly love eachother unselfishly
Love
Love is all that really matters
True love
Love that sacrifices itself for the benefit of another.
Love from the Father
And the Son
And the Spirit
That moves us to love
Lord help me to turn away from
the cares and the foolishness of life
and teach me to love like you do
------------------------------
445
Escape and Change
Escape to me into my arms

you, my soul... I long to hold
looking deep into your eyes
sinking fully in your grasp
Open the book, write me down

I want to be remembered by you
Etch into your hand

my secret name
flower, sun... my underground
let me into your heart of hearts
king of kings and lord of lords
Open your mind, think of me

I want to be remembered
Oh soul, take my hand

lead me to the promised land
oh soul, heal my heart
my soul, don't let me go
------------------------------
446
Change and Escape
Change is violent
Wrapping around
Clinging to me
Disarousing trial
Change comes to
Those unexpecting
Change is wicked
And hurtful and mean
Change to you
Change towards the
Future of our little
Experiment in love
Go ahead and cry

No one has hurt me
As much as you have
Girl, Go cry, Fly away
You said you wouldn't

You lied through teeth
The same that punctured
My ready willing neck
Liar. You are nothing

I am the someone
And I still hold on to me
For I am the loved one
------------------------------
447
Heather
Forgone and distraught

My hope spilt across the ground
Like a childs chalk drawing
in the hot spring rain.
She left me standing at the church
I was planted like a flower

Scooped like a dirty litter box
and discarded
i looked at her
(since the fourth grade)
and have liked her
ever since
Except for now

Except when I'm planted
------------------------------
448
A New Song
(sung by Jayna Mullin)
Lord here am I
I will prophesy
I will arise and declare your coming
Lord here I cry

I will not deny
I will arise and proclaim your word
When the mountains fall

When my ways are dark
You hold out your hand
And you call to me
Lord here am I
I will prophesy
I will arise and declare your coming
Lord here I cry

I will not deny
I will arise and proclaim your word
When the mountains fall

When my ways are dark
You hold out your hand
And you call to me
Put your hand in the hand of the man

Who can set you free



------------------------------
449
Boiled Spinach and lies of the enemy
William Branham books collected no dust.

Only new wrinkles from endless research.
It was twenty bucks and desperation.

"God, where do I go from here?"
"I can feel you God!
Can you heal me?"
My private room was spotlessly clean.

My house was not a joy to see.
My affairs were far from in order.

My roommate: as un-delightful as can be
"I can see you God!

Can you hear me?"
GOD! THE PAIN!
I Surrender...
------------------------------
450
vs
A green truck silently rolled down the hill
endless joy
and
souless spite
slamming into me, throwing me into the ravine
forever love
and
deepest night
I knew then, as I know now
wondrous peace
absence of light
hope is not just another abstract thought
CHRIST our LORD

SATANS' respite
It's what you get when you're in the air.
------------------------------
451
Jeremiah
Oh that my eyes were a river,

Oh that my head was a spring.
I would weep for dying people,
I would weep for the lost king.
Oh that I had in this desert,
a place for the lost and confused.
So I could bring all the lost people,
those hurting, dying and abused.
Will even my Lord come and save me,

Comforter and everything?
My mind is aloof and fainthearted,
does he hear my needs as I sing?
The cry of the lost and the dying,
the cry of the hurt and dismayed.
For I'm in a land that is crying,
we have been snared and enslaved.
But is there no king in our Zion,

is there no king in this land?
The city of peace is forsaken,
the flowers have turned into sand.
Oh, I see the fields of the harvest,
I see them rotting away.
The harvest has passed with the summer,
we have not even been saved.
I am poured out like fresh water,

I cry all the hours away.
And where is the promise of healing,
while I am still crying all day?
My people are crushed and so I am,
my sorrows and theirs intertwined.
I weep and mourn for the horror,
The fears that are so deep inside.
Where is the promise of healing,

where are the people who care?
Why is there no hope of mending,
why am I filled with despair?
There is no doctor and no hope,
while we are all rotting away.
The harvest is passed and is ended,
and we are still not saved.
And Oh that my eyes were a river!

Oh that my head were a spring!
I would weep for dying people!
I would weep for the lost king!

------------------------------
452
Isaiah 49
It's not enough,

To be a light to just those few who wouldn't care.
It's not enough,
To share the news to only those who wouldn't spare.
To go in to all the world and preach the good news!
The evil and the wicked are the ones I would choose!
It's not enough,
To share his Son with those who murder and kill.
It's not enough,
To bear the load to those who think it isn't real.
Go everywhere and proclaim tidings of joy!
Spread it through every race! He's alive so rejoice!
It's not enough,
To place your mouth on the mouths of the dead.
It's not enough,
To seek out those who live and die in their bed.
It's not enough,
To go someplace, share, and get out of there fast.
It's not enough,
To do something for a cause that won't last.
It's not enough,
It's just really not enough.
Preach to everyone! Share the news!
Jesus is Lord so let the nations choose!
Don't hold back, Share it all!
I want to share it in concert halls!
Everyone on earth has got to hear!
If we won't give it, then no one else will!
Jesus, Jesus, every word that I speak
For he gives light to the lost, and he strengthens the weak!
------------------------------
453
That is my name
I am the Lord
I'll take all the fame
I never change
that is my name
Thus says the Lord
the Earth I bore
I created the heavens
for birds to soar
I stretched them out
from cloud to cloud
from star to star
so near, so far
I spread the earth
the sky and dirt
I am the Lord
and that is my name
my glory I'll not hide
and give no glory to another

the righteous shall hide
and give glory to his brother
------------------------------
454
Dive
Creatures of habit - beckoned to come

Wonderful creatures - doomed to become
Into the heart of Christ

Into the deepest place
Where life and happiness
collide, declare and come
Total control - Christians devise

Life outside Jesus - God does despise
------------------------------
455
Heaven on a Tuesday
Way beyond the blue

I looked for something real
While closer to my soul
I thought I'd found her
ageless... timeless...
full of emotion and belief
speechless... breathless...
could it be love or is it fate?
cloud pictures in the sky
as movies pass me by
I'm so blinded by the light
I'm so sure I've found her
ageless... windless...
so full of angel and of life
speechless... breathless
could it be love or is it fate?
she's as wild as she is cool
I have been taken like a fool
I've searched within my deepest heart
could it be that I have found her
could it just be
that I have found
her on this tuesday?
ageless... timeless...
full of emotion and of faith
breathless... windless...
I think it's love as well as fate.
------------------------------
456
but am not afraid
I run but am not afraid.

I run into your arms.
I scream but am not afraid.
I explode with laughter.
but am not afraid.
I well up with your joy.
I hide but am not afraid.
I hide within your arms.
I run but am not afraid.
------------------------------
457
Papa Wheelie
Deep calls to deep, love hearkens near

and whispers in your ear
Weeping turns to sleep, the dove settles near
calling you to hear
All the people of the world could not stop you
All the storms throughout the years did not break you
In time the candle burns away but slowly
Burning off all the wax that holds you
Tonight we saw the conquer of the soul
And know that He holds the truth you know
The time passed quickly through the bottle
and sand spilled out all over the table
We found what felt to be the truth
I've seen the light of day in you
Silently but boisterously His words formed your life

Quietly but Openly his thoughts have ceased your strife
Through Him you know of secret things
Go and reveal them to long lost beings
Thought you would, I knew you could,
So far, you should.
The nature and the heart of God
Blows in you and flows in you
A sounding chime, in harmony
This life in short spells: Unity
------------------------------
458
"Judgment"
(Of Israel and America)
Birds of the air take wind of the tidings I now decree! Animals of the Earth, Hearken to the voice
of Gods son! Assemble and come round the feasting table of death! I am preparing a great
sacrifice on the mountains of the mighty! There you will eat the flesh and drink the blood of many!
You will eat the flesh of mighty warriors and men of renown! You will suck dry the bodies of
princes and kings and of royalty! As if they were fattened sheep on the hills of plenty! This
sacrifice will sustain you until you are drunk with blood! At my table you will eat your fill of horses
and of their riders! The bones will collect like timber and build a house of death! Both of wicked
men and warriors from every tribe and nation!
You! You are in sin! Return to me! You were righteous! But you have sinned! But nothing shall
withhold my glory! I shall correct your wrongs! Every nation shall know it! They will say "They
have been dealt with according to their deeds, And he surely has hidden his face from them."
But take no fear! Judgment will not last forever! Stand and stay strong! Repent of your ways!
Turn from your sin and show yourself holy! You will once again call me Lord, And I will call you
my Children! Then I will pour out my Spirit upon you and upon all of your people!
------------------------------
459
...and her name was romance
flair for her

flair for her
why do i even care for her
blonde hair dove
brown eyes love
why do i even dare for her
wish i could
thought i should
why, why, why
question one
question two
why do i care for her
lives that touch
futures changed
why do i dare for her
she's so awesome
passion ignites
why, why, why
dare for her

care for her
should for her
would for her
If i knew, then i could for her
...
dare for her
flair for her
why, why, why
------------------------------
460
A note from '93
In 1993 I was in seminary.

I learned and grew and journaled.
It was that November that Clinton won.

It was that November that I cried.
It was in '93 that my heart was turned.

Mark had lied, but I found a friend named Maxon.
It was that year that I was a no-body.

It was in Tulsa that I had a life-changer.
Oh yeah the note:
I do... you watch.

I do... you help.
You do... I help.
You do... I watch.
So the next time I teach a kid to run

a bandsaw, he won't chop off his fingers.
Hahaha, I'm so weird.
------------------------------
461
New Psalm
Jesus! How I love to Praise your name! High

above the clouds you sit with our Father on the
left, as you sit on His right. I Know I have seen
you, and so I have seen Him. Father, I beg one
thing please... Send your Spirit upon me. Thank
you Jesus for your inspiration and your impartation.
You no longer count me a slave, but a friend. Now I
may come boldly into your throne room and receive
my blessings. Yes Jesus, You died for me. Thank you.
I give you my life in return. You died to wash me clean from
the filth of sin. You baptize me with your holy waters, and with
your fire, and with the precious Holy Spirit. Thank you for your
precious blood! Thank you for your precious word. How can I
ever repay you? I can only imagine. I am counting the cost. I have
numbered my days. They are all yours. I just can't wait to be with you
in glory. I have called myself dead to myself and am a living sacrifice
unto you. I promise I won't crawl off the altar. I am to live for you only.
I take no thought for myself or for my body, I die for you. I lose and
I loose all my money for you. It's yours anyway. I give you time to
work in my life. I become poor for your sake. I help the
diseased and the maimed for you. I could do it to
the least of these so I can do it unto you.
------------------------------
462
Psalm 67
May God be gracious to us and bless us.
And may his face shine down upon us.
So that His ways might become known in the earth.
And His Salvation in all the nations.
May all people groups praise you God.
May all the peoples praise you.
May all the nations be glad and sing for joy.
Because you rule all your people with justice.
And you guide the nations of the earth.
May all the peoples praise you oh God.
May all the peoples praise you.
Then the land will yield it's harvest.
And our God will bless us.
Yes, Our God will surely bless us.
And all the Earth will fear him.
------------------------------
463
Jose's Prophesy
We are the dough

In every part
Beaten and ready
Full of potential
And ingredients
Shapeful and ready
Smudge then and spin
Kneed, fold again
Willing and ready
Holes poked and torn

We are then warmed
Heated and baking
Rising and browning
We are the food
"Lord Jesus, taste me."
French bread and loaf
Soft cookie dough
Like heavenly pastry
We are His bread

For feeding our King
In that do we give
We are the bread

For feeding the world
So then they might live
------------------------------
464
Hospice
Use your truth

To make them holy
Your words are true
Speak them slowly
Bend them low
To make them lowly
Use your fire
To purge their hearts
Use your spear
To peirce their sides
I have sent them
Into the world
The same way
You sent me
Use my hands
Make them shine
Use my land to
House strangers tonight
Hear my call
I only seek you
My name's Paul
I give it to you
I'm dedicating myself
To this holy work
I did it for them
So they will use truth
Splinter my trust
And shape it again
Make in me
Your truest friend
Grab my throat
Throw me around
I want you
To boss me around
I've missed the clues
That I should see
That proves I'm a liar
You're better than me
Can you make me

I want to be
Please use
Just, just
I want to
To be holy
------------------------------
465
Maskil Moses One
God lives forever,

while...
We are only dust.
A thousand years,
lasts...
Only an hour.
Men are but grass,

growing...
We die, every day.
Your great anger,

consumes...
Sins confront us.
We are limited,
only...
Seventy years.
The best of us,

sins...
We bring misery.
Who can understand,

you...
Lord, we fear you.
------------------------------
466
So true
Precious are your words to me.
Father dear, Father sweet.
-I am a fluid writer. But my life is different.-
Sacred is your text to me.

Spirit true, Spirit sweet.
-I talk well when I cannot see your face.-
(My life is drab. Full of apathy. Full of death.)
<Jesus save this soul. Do not let me go.>
Precious is your love to me.
Jesus pure, Jesus sweet.
------------------------------
467
Ultimate Missionary
Born never.
Claiming Earth.
Choosing the Jews.
Not even Human.
Birthed in Bethlehem.
Claiming the Davidians
Christened into Judahs Tribe.
Sought by Oriental Astrologers.
Praised by Shepherds
Announced by Cherubim.
Arriving in Egypt.
Seeking refuge from Roman tyranny.
Growing up in Nazareth.
Seeing a Heavenly view.
Father figure to his brothers.
Knowing his real Fathers voice.
Baptized in the Jordan

Ministering out of Capernaum.
Hanging out at Galilees sea.
Picking fights in the Temple of Jerusalem.
He took strolls through Samaria.

And Nain, Tyre, Sidon and probably Hebron.
The Ultimate Missionary was Jesus Christ.
For He now takes up residence within my heart.

------------------------------
468
Only Friend
Lives linger
Senses tingle
I feel your rain again
Somedays you shine
Brighter than life
Somedays you weep for me
Visions will drift off
Spirits will lift off
I feel your rain again
Rainbows will cheer me
But none come as dear me
You are my only friend


------------------------------
469
I want and wish
I want to share
my life with the ruler
of saints
the creator of creation
the lily of the valley
the true blue diamond
who cuts away my soul
Jesus, Jeshua, Emmanuel
King of all bosses
Saint of all Saints
Embodiment of perfection
and Lord of the Living
And ruler of the dead.
I wish to baptize
my repugnant soul
within his merciful gaze
and let him
vanquish my fears
in his river of longevity
and thought-love.
I want to progress
to the state of joy
beyond all
human complaint
to never tire
of praising him
within the scope
of his love and passion.
King of glory and

Lord of Angels
Resolve my tired
and weary soul
and redeem me.
------------------------------
470
(untitled song in my head)
Your name is YHWH

Your way is so much better than my way
Your name is YHWH
Always and forever you are still the same
Lord you are the bright and morning star

I will worship you for who you are
You have brought me here thus far
I will show you love for who you are
------------------------------
471
Godquake
When my soul does die. And my spirit cries.

Lord you are to me... Sufficiency
Oh my heart does break. And my body aches.
Lord you are my fire... Desire
Mighty King. Lover of Justice.

You have established righteousness.
Exalt the Lord on High. Worship his name.
You sit enthroned on the Cherubim.
The Earth quakes before you.
Let us praise your great and awesome name
---------------------
472
Ministry to my friend
For This is the hour to cry out: bend me.

For you shall bend and not break.
You shall burn but not be consumed.
And If you will but position yourself at the foot of the master,
and begin to cry out and say: "Teach me!"
To the degree in this season that you are willing to me taught,
you shall be promoted.
To the degree that you are willing to me taught,
you shall be promoted.
So your daily prayer will be:

Teach me Lord.
Bend me low.
That when I grow,
I will be like you.
Straight and true.
Hearing the fathers voice.

Making the right choice.
Ministering in love and humility in all that I do.
That the Word of the Lord precede from me.
As I walk in the way of love.
And represent my Father from above.
May the heaven be opened over you.

As you declare the words of truth.
May you decrease daily that he may increase in you.
Do not be dismayed when all of your ambitions and desire...
Die and float to the way in the wind.
And know that as the Lord frees you, you will be able to be sent.
Spoken by Jeff Johns

---------------------------
473
More Lord
Acts part four could be me Lord.

When Peter prayed in Acts part four,
Boldness fell upon him more.
The Spirit brushed upon them more.
Liars fell dead upon the floor.
Money was lent down to the poor.
The building shook and dust fell more.
And Peter did pray in Acts part four,
Could I not pray like him more?
----------------------------
474
The Sun over Solomon
Permanent. Permanency.
The value of being immutable.
Our precious Lord is the same.
Yesterday. Today.
And Forever the same.
Permanency is a quest.
A quest for perpetualness.
People will change.

And often do.
Situations and ethics dissolve.
Our society shifts.
Swifter than this tilting planet.
Yet Solomon saw nothing new.
Nothing new under the sun.
Perhaps Solomon saw a big picture.

He saw living and mannerisms.
He decided that we are decrepit.
And sinful and full of poison.
Bound by the laws of death.
Decrepit? Yes.
Bound? By Jesus, No.
There is something new Solomon.

Under the sun there is hope.
The spilt blood of Christ.
It washes away all fear.
And sin. And lostness.
And we are not the same.
Poor Solomon, needing so much.
Yet not seeking God as he should.
We have been baptized.

And there is something new.
Newer than Solomons thoughts.
Older than wisdom itself.
The blood of Christ.

That was Solomons need.
Forgiveness.
------------------------------
475
Foundation
Down the hall and to the left.

They cringe and cry out "holy".
"How long oh Lord" they cry.
Those infamous watchers under the table.
"Let it go" someone says.
"Let your worries go".
The martyrs call out daily.
They bleed till none is left.
Small boxes, measles, poxes.
Afflicted until pennant death.
Down the hall. Down the hall.
The bright white robes do gleam.
From every tribe and people group.
And those who have been lost.
Not just a number counted.
Like tribes and certain apostles.
But innumerable, immeasurable, splendorous.
They cry out "Holy is the Lamb."
"Who was slain from Earth's foundation."
"Holy is He, who was beaten for us."
"Holy is He who is worthy to open the scroll."
"How long oh Lord must we cry?"
"How long oh Lord must we die?"
"Let it go!" someone screams
"No, never let it go until all that

could be lost is first found again."

----------------------------
476
Maskil Moses 2
Teach us to count,
daily...
So we can grow.
Please come back,

Jesus...
Change your mind.
Help us every day,
please...
We want to sing.
Even out our slates,

today...
We need your power.
Act kindly to us,

Lord...
Make us a success.
Make us successful,
Lord...
In everything we do.
-------------------------------
477
Shore #12
The wake I wake is not from dream

I feel the fall, Inhale the steam
I drift the drift that lovers dare
And when I fall, you will be there
You, joy eternal are my dance

Lift me up higher than any trance
Awake inside my tides recede
Awashed anew, you are my creed
-------------------------------
478
Gather
Everyone gathers now to the fire swamp

To listen to what the gurgles might tell
She whispers silently her epitaph
We disengage our harrowed souls
For spirits may linger here
As the dew covers a web
And listless cries echo now
Hear the voices drift away
Drift away my son, move on
Dana, Dana Divine and auburn sweet
Wishing for a future happiness
Lie awake at night clutching at his clothes
Your race and your bareness undone
Drift away my child, move on
-------------------------------
479
Disappearance
Trying to escape this tiny ship

Ship of souls for all to see
Dealing cards of hypocrisy
Forging weapons inside my heart
I'm fearing life for it's waywardness
Losing you means losing life
I'm losing myself in you
-------------------------------
480
(hmmm)
Every shadow has a name

Every whisper has a voice
Every game has its player
Every novel has its author
-------------------------------
481
sing like sting
every time you look at me

every glimpse I catch of you
you say that no good thing is free
no my friend this is not true
death it comes to those who wait
for those who hang on every word
i know that i cannot compete
for suffering is in your place
doomed to wail
doomed to fail
doomed to fall into my sins
doomed to follow
doomed to wait
doomed to sit through my mistakes
follow you through miry words

follow you at every turn
you often give me what i need
still i despise these bridges burned
humor comes to those who care
for those who bend to listen
take my to my promised land
for i seek to know you
take my heart
take my complaint
do not do as i have done
for i am burning
i am shamed
i will wallow in my own fate
fear is unsolicited
anger burns within
i shall not let them have their hold
i am not doomed to sin
create a love for beauty Lord
give me what i can't afford
forgive my indescrepancies
as i seem to be...
-------------------------------
482
Crystals increased anointing

I find my life divided betwixt the wretched and the divine. The divine wins over my soul quite often
and revelation comes a-washing onto my hearts gritty shore. I choose the wretched when I
cannot fully fathom the necessities of this great track of truth. I forget the one who purchased me
on the bloody cross of supremacy.
-------------------------------
483
Canadian Intercession
Oh joy of life that springs out eternal.

Activate this fruit and gift in my life!
Let me move in prayer. Let me hold fast.
Let me move from the now into the now.
Oh Christ of solitude and saints!
Let this small life please you and give you life!
Linger in my heart still longer.
Build a hedge within my soul.
Nehemiah builds within me.

Joseph hangs out in my dreams.
Grant me wisdom to triumph evil.

Forgive the lameness that halts my growth.
Schedule me into your plan.
Write me down upon your hand.
Plunge this city from darkness to light.
Grasp me Oh Lord into your hand.
Let me move, to move in faith.
Let me move, to move in faith.
-------------------------------
484
Patchouli is nice
I smell that smell that brings me hope

You place me well at the end of my rope
I see your face written in the stars
You send me hope within glass jars
Can everybody groove like I do?

Please take my hand, pray like I do.
Get down on your knees I can see what your doing.

Surprise me below, give your life 'cause I'm trying
Today is the time, I just want what your giving.
Forgive me again, I will do what your asking.
Will everyone move like I do?

Touch my soul, feel like I do.
I get the drift that is your smell

I know it and I know you well
You know my life is plenty small
my name is dead, you called me paul
-------------------------------
485
Ezekiel 6:12
"How detestable you are in my sight!

This whole situation burns my nostrils.
How awful are your ways before me
You who are called to be mine
It is a terrible thing to fall into my hands
It will be left as a nothingness (your name)
You who should be mine forever
Shall you never bring back your praises
Should I regret creating your race
You will either be mine or Lucifer's
With terrific and volatile force, you will die
Why do you foolishly decide between lives
You, who were gratefully warned
Famine and foolishness shall utterly descend
False prophets and priests shield me from you
They are doomed forever to dust
Suddenly a terrifying light will come over you
And all scripture demands your careful words
Commit yourselves to Him
Commit yourselves on Him
Humble yourselves before Him
Him is I says the Lord
He is that that I am and will be
Forever and ever amen
Humble, beckon, obey, trust, and serve
Otherwise, pray for mercy, otherwise
pray for death
for you will not
find it soon
Copyright 2000 Jehovah, Ezekiel and pauly
-------------------------------
486
Dry tears
You left me naked

You left me alone
Vying for affection
And you give, give, give
Still you still stand there
With dry tears staining
Your fabric of life
Wide eyes trusting
Bright teeth smiling
You leave me helpless
I stand alone
Listening to yours
And I give, give, give
And I stand there
With hands a-folded
On my weary breast
Tired eyes closing

Dim smile fading
Won't you come to me?
-------------------------------
487
Jesu Zulu
Jesu Zuluku Jesu Zulu

Dream on rainmaker
Two hearts beat as one
Lightning and strike
Smile down with rain
Friendship and laughter
Tears for Mother Africa
And naked children
Dance in the rain
And destroying hatred
The power of one
The power of all
Behold what comes
From waterfalls
The power of me
The power of two
The power of love
The power of you.
-------------------------------
488
Lead
Precious Lord, one in three.

Draw me closer unto thee.
For when my life slips away.
Be here with me when I pray.
Precious Father, how I love you.

You are mine and I am yours.
Precious Lord my king forever.
Lead me onwards, take me home.
-------------------------------
489
The trip to Valpariso
Forlorn and distasteful

Are the thoughts in my head
Oh Jesu, Cleanse my distrusting heart
And forgive my inadequacies.
Let me climb the hill of solitude
and my fires be baptized in water.
Clean out my heart and still the trepidations
in my 2 weary of soul. Solace and smoke
water my eyes and make me sneeze.
The vibration from your singing lips
hypnotize my slumbering mind and cause
me to sway. Precious is your letter
of purity and simplicity. So take my tongue
and tame me Lord please. I would
love to measure my life against yours,
knowing that I'm never ever wrong.
Just a little short.
-------------------------------
490
Givers
I have realized that life givers and life takers.
are very closely joined together. These co-dependant
recyclers leech and love, and take and give.
I think that we need to put these two in their place.
The givers always seem to have nothing,
and the takers seem to have it all together.
They have what they want, what they need
and all but what they desire.
For what they desire is nothing good.
What they want is the struggle of flesh.
They desire the undesirables of Gods heart.
These are the leeches... and they suck.
-------------------------------
491
Sol
Perhaps planets and stars

Dream of you and me
Perchance their souls are active
Chance would not have a chance
But if God made them to live
And dream in Technicolor static
They could respond as I react
To the glorious nature of God
For if Christ can activate my soul

To respond to his glorious gift of love
Then what is to stop him from spreading
Love into the crust of the Earth
Joy erupts like a geyser and
Sprays like a fountain over me
Perforate this mantle and splice
My tectonic heart like a planet
Oh Lord
Oh Lord
My Sol
-------------------------------
492
Luther's' Doxology
For thou, God, are from now until forever,
your mercies, they are new every morning.
And thou, God, encompass the earth with charity.
Thy lovingkindness is new every morning.
Come Lord Jesus, be our guest this eve.

And let thy gifts to us be blessed, we pray thee.
For thine is the kingdom, and the glory, and the power.
Thy lovingkindness is made new in the morn.
The Lord encompasseth the Earth with much grace.

And His blood doth flow, blotting out mine sin.
Oh give thanks unto the Lord for He is good.
And His mercies endureth forever.
Amen.
Copyright 2003 by pauly hart (inspired by Martin Luther)
-------------------------------
493
Petition for an acquaintance
Friends are your joy in life

Sex is what carries the night
Drugs are how you get by
And hope is nowhere in sight
Do you think that God sees you
Do you feel Jesus fresh blood
Don't you know that Jah cares
Do you believe in the heavenly stare
Jesus will care for you
He'll take your problems away
It's not that you have the perfect life
But the solutions a prayer away
-------------------------------
494
Snowfall Part One
You dream of dreams

You hope of hope
You fill the void
You've placed within
You cannot cope
Beauty surrounds me
Love come and drowns me
I, benefactor of all I see
Snowflakes surround me.
-------------------------------
495
Snowfall Part Two
It's all the same

You've lived a joke
You flunk the test
You took to score
You dropped the ball
Perfect is Christs Love

Glory Adoration
For Jesus knows what is to come
Snowflakes Surround me.
-------------------------------
496
Snowfall Part Three
You failed me now

You are a joke
You're arbitrary
Life's lost on you
You are insane
Beauty is heaven
Love comes around me
I, Inheritor of all I see
Snowflakes surround me
-------------------------------
497
Sugar
Sugar my soul
Savior so sweet
Enhance my joy
Lover of dreams
Ignite my fire
Killer of dark
Spring on me
Bringer of smiles
Satisfy souls
Jesus of mine
-------------------------------
498
gen x
Generation X is what we call them.

Generation X is how we know them
Generation X, Generation X.
Generation, Generation, Generation X.
This Generation X is quite complex.
They freely fight and sorely vex.
They gather round and dance and shout.
It's not music, unless it's loud.
And Generation X is not Generation gone.
Generation X shall rise again.
-------------------------------
499
Call me
There is a deeper snow.
That will not let you go.
Call me. Call me.
I dressed before you came.

Waited through pouring rain.
Call me. Call me.

Hushed the candles, dimmed the lights.
I almost waited up all night.
You didn't call me.
Call me, in the dreary night I cry

Call me, on my pillow I now cry
Call me, I need your touch tonight
Call me, baby
Locked the doors and walked upstairs

Hey I miss when you're not there
Lately I've been missing you
And I think you know it's true
You are my baby no mistake
And I will miss you
from
the
grave
-------------------------------
500
Lament
This is my last poem

It rhymes like the first
But now how they move me
Like they didn't at first
I regrettably tell you

And will not delay
The writing of my poetry
Is finished this day
--------------------------------------------
------------>>>>>>>><<<<<<<<<------------
All works are copyrighted by paul (pauly) b. hart.
Unlawful use of poetry is forbidden.
Permission for use must first be obtained by author.
Author may be contacted at:
paulyhart@hotmail.com
paulyhart.com
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All works are copyrighted by paul (pauly) b. hart.

Where Trinity is,

Perhaps you find yourself at Trinities feet.

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart

Stories once read

Treading the pages of those forgotten books so long ago

I had a favorite book of my own and I would read it every night

My reading has turned me now to wider worlds and landscapes

You would think that I would get sick of reading

There is no other book that has changes as many lives

As the Bible has

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart

There I was and the ninety-nine

Unto the Shepherd do we call

Until the voice that was heard

The shepherd seeks after me

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart

Even as you are sleeping away,

When the Lord scattered the wicked,

Don't be envious of the wicked.

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart

In the right moment, God is still listening.

Down in your spirit, God is still listening.

Always forever, God is still listening.

My one true love calls me home from

My master! My all, my everything! Lord!

He wishes me well the journey

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart

Icthus in the midst

Lives long for something more

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart

Guide me ever onward Father

Jesus Northstar, guide me onward

Electric Life, I'm charged with your love

Store me in your life-sized wonder

Tighten jigs and pull them tautly

Jesus Northstar, pull me ever

Jesus Northstar, your my light.

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart

Attribute to the attributes

Faith is faster than a light train

Do you realize that all life dies?

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart

Love on the Lord

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart

This is my promise, these are my dreams.

We are His people; flesh, bone, and blood.

Father, Son, Spirit; Jesus my Lord.

I love you Lord Jesus, yet more and more.

The smell of the alter, the scent of His love.

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart

Strange love. Never dying.

My blood runs cold...

I know this Love...

Stranger love has no man had

A stranger love has no man seen...

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart

More often than not,

And at various times,

Though you knew me the same,

I sure love you my Lord,

Copyright 2003 by pauly hart