1.

 Commentary  on  the  text  taken  from  George  Orwell’s  “The  Road  to  Wigan  Pier”    
This  text  from  George  Orwell’s  “The  Road  to  Wigan  Pier”  is  in  the  genre  of  a  report  
or  a  social  commentary/critique.  His  purpose  is  to  bring  to  light  or  expose  the  
conditions  suffered  by  the  working  people  in  the  North  of  England.  The  audience  is  
likely  to  be  the  general  public,  but  more  specifically  the  government.  Its  tone  
therefore  is  critical,  descriptive  and  provocative.    
The  first  paragraph  characterizes  the  South,  East  and  Midlands  of  England  as  
comfortably  bland  and  uniform,  through  the  use  of  such  lexical  items  as  
“accustomed  to”,  “not  much  difference”,  “not  unlike”  and  “indistinguishable”.  He  
then  provides  a  stark  contrast  to  this  with  his  description  of  the  towns  of  the  North.  
The  repetition  of  words  such  as  “ugliness”  and  the  use  of  adjectives  like  “frightful”  
and  “arresting”  heightens  the  terrible  contrast  between  these  comfortable  pleasant  
towns  of  the  rest  of  England,  and  those  of  the  North.    
The  second  paragraph  consists  of  a  description  of  Wigan.  He  uses  a  myriad  of  
adjectives  to  describe  the  terrible  scene  he  witnesses,  such  as  “hideous,  planless,  
functionless,  frightful,  evil.”  All  of  these  combine  to  create  an  image  of  a  horrific  
environment.  In  the  first  line  he  uses  the  contradictory  term  “at  best”  along  with  the  
word  "hideous"  to  show  that  the  word  is  not  enough  to  describe  the  scene  of  the  
slag-­‐heap.  That  is  indeed  the  best  thing  which  can  be  said  about  it.  The  simile  “like  
the  emptying  of  a  giant’s  dustbin”  gives  us  an  image  of  the  huge  size  of  the  slag-­‐heap.  
Adjectives  such  as  “jagged”  convey  a  harsh,  sharp  image  of  the  scene.  He  then  
creates  an  image  of  hell  with  the  use  of  the  alliterative  metaphor  “red  rivulets  of  fire,  
winding  this  way  and  that.”  The  never-­‐ending  nature  of  this  horror  is  emphasized  
through  the  description  of  the  “blue  flames  of  sulphur,  which  always  seem  on  the  
point  of  expiring  and  always  spring  out  again.”  There  is  no  relief,  no  respite  from  the  
misery.  These  slag-­‐heaps  will  also  still  be  visible  “centuries  hence”.  In  the  phrase  
“evil  brown  grass”  he  uses  personification  to  show  that  even  natural  elements  such  
as  grass  have  this  horrible  characteristic.  The  fact  that  slag-­‐heaps  are  used  as  
playgrounds  seems  incongruous,  almost  ironic.  These  slag-­‐heaps  are  compared  with  
the  use  of  a  simile  to  the  sharp  peaks  of  “a  choppy  sea,  suddenly  frozen”  or  a  
metaphor  with  his  depiction  of  an  uncomfortable  lumpy  “flock  mattress”.    
In  the  third  paragraph  he  recalls  one  particular  winter  afternoon  in  Wigan.  he  uses  
the  alliterative  metaphor  “lunar  landscape”  to  give  the  image  of  a  barren,  almost  
alien  environment.  There  is  no  vegetation,  just  “cinders”  and  “frozen  mud”.  This  
environment  is  “criss-­‐crossed  by  the  imprint  of  innumerable  clogs“  the  alliteration  
generating  the  image  of  many  people  suffering  under  these  harsh  conditions.  The  
“flashes  –  pools  of  stagnant  water”  intensify  the  image  of  this  horrific  place,  as  they  
were  covered  with  “ice,  the  colour  of  raw  umber”.  You  might,  under  normal  
conditions  expect  ice  to  clear  or  white,  but  not  in  this  environment.  There  is  an  
example  of  personification  where  the  “lock  gates  wore  beards  of  ice”  emphasizing  
the  image  of  this  cold,  barren  land,  from  which  “vegetation  had  been  banished.”    

 
However,  all  of  this  pales  in  comparison  to  Sheffield,  as  evidenced  by  the  use  of  the  
intensifier  “even”.  It  is  “the  ugliest  town  in  the  Old  World”,  with  very  few  decent  
buildings,  even  compared  to  the  average  East  Anglian  village  of  only  500  
inhabitants.  Ironically,  the  inhabitants  seem  to  be  almost  proud  of  this  accolade.  The  
exclamation  mark  after  “…stench!”  intensifies  the  already  strong  meaning  of  the  
word.  There  is  some  irony  in  the  fact  that  even  when  the  sulphur  smell  is  not  
present,  you  smell  gas.  There  is  no  respite,  no  relief  from  the  unrelenting  misery.  
“The  shallow  river…is  usually  bright  yellow”  and  one  might  normally  expect  
something  yellow  to  be  bright,  primary  and  natural,  however  here,  the  yellow  comes  
from  “some  chemical  or  other”.  Throughout  the  text,  Orwell  uses  colour  imagery,  
“grey  mountains…red  rivulets…blue  flames…brown  grass…raw  umber…bright  
yellow…dark  red…blackened…blackish…  red  and  yellow  brick…rosy…redlit  boys”  to  
heighten  the  vivid  effect  of  his  imagery.  Even  the  primary  colours  are  indicative  of  
something  horrible.  The  description  of  the  thirty-­‐three  chimneys  is  heightened  by  
the  fact  that  it  was  only  the  smoke  which  hindered  his  view  of  many  more.  Further  
use  of  lexis  such  as  “frightful…squalor…littered…gaunt”  further  increase  the  
impression  of  impoverishment.  His  ironic  use  of  the  word  “vista”  to  describe  the  
ugly  panorama  is  intensified  by  the  repetition  of  “chimneys,  chimney  beyond  
chimney”.    
The  last  paragraph  gives  us  an  image  of  Sheffield  at  night,  a  hideous  place  where  
there  is  nothing  but  “blackness”  and  the  oxymoronic  “sinister  magnificence.“  The  
“serrated  flames,  like  circular  saws”  reprises  (repeats)  the  “jagged”  image  from  the  
description  of  Wigan.  Orwell  personifies  the  smoke  and  flames  which  “squeeze  
themselves”,  as  if  they  were  alive.  The  vision  of  hell  is  once  again  highlighted  with  
“fiery  serpents”  and  “redlit  boys”,  and  further  intensified  with  the  onomatopoeic  
“whiz,  thump…scream.”  Orwell,  through  his  cumulative  use  of  imagery  created  by  a  
variety  of  lexis(vocabulary)  ,  paints  a  picture  of  unmitigated  horror.  It  is  clear  that  
his  writing  was  intended  to  have  a  very  strong  effect  on  his  audience.    

2.  Model  for  “Travellers’  check”    

The  genre  of  this  text  is  an  article  from  an  in-­‐flight  magazine.  Its  tone  therefore  is  
likely  to  be  persuasive,  as  it  is  in  effect  an  advert  for  the  airlines  services,  as  they  
only  write  about  places  they  go  to,  and  only  ever  in  a  positive  light.  It  cannot  be  seen  
as  an  impartial  opinion.  The  purpose  is  to  inform  the  readers  about  the  North  
Borneo  Railway,  in  an  effort  to  persuade  them  to  use  it,  and  to  use  Malaysia  Airlines  
to  get  there.  There  is  also  a  light-­‐heartedness  to  the  tone,  which  the  author  
establishes  early,  with  the  pun  in  the  title,  between  a  possible  means  of  paying  for  
the  journey  and  an  introduction  to  the  information  to  follow  about  the  railway.    

The  attraction  of  train  travel  is  outlined  in  the  opening  paragraph.:  the  metaphor  
“opened  up  the  countryside”  makes  train  travel  attractive  by  suggesting  new  
discoveries  or  the  revelation  of  something  concealed  until  now.  “Head-­‐off”  is  light-­‐
hearted  and  gives  the  idea  that  travel  is  relaxing  and  freedom-­‐giving.  The  mention  of  
Thomas  Cook  in  the  second  paragraph  gives  historical  accuracy  and  therefore  
credibility  to  train  travel  as  something  tried  and  tested.    
  
The  idiomatic  usage  of  “puffin’  billy”  is  informal  which  gives  the  passage  an  easy  feel  
to  it.  Train  travel  is  for  everyone.  The  metaphor  “paradise”  to  describe  the  railway  in  
north  Borneo  makes  the  countryside  which  it  passes  through  seem  idyllic.,  the  most  
beautiful  place  on  earth,  or  even  a  beauty  which  transcends  the  earth.  The  structure  
of  the  rest  of  the  paragraph  makes  it  easy  to  follow  the  rest  of  the  passage  because  
the  writer  outlines  two  options  for  travel  on  the  railway,  which  then  makes  it  
possible  to  devote  a  paragraph  to  one  of  them.  The  idiom  “trainheads”  must  mean  
those  who  love  train  travel,  again  the  informal  tone  makes  train  travel  seem  
accessible  to  ordinary  people,  and  the  newness  of  the  idiom  makes  train  travel  seem  
modern  and  possibly  an  attraction  for  the  young,  who  are  the  people  who  might  
invent  this  new  slang.    

In  the  fourth  paragraph  the  vocabulary  item  “narrow  rickety”  is  used  to  describe  the  
train.  Normally  these  adjectives  would  not  enhance  an  overall  description,  but  in  
this  case  they  serve  to  make  the  train  appear  attractively  old-­‐fashioned.  As  if  the  
privilege  of  having  such  a  historical  experience  makes  it  worthwhile  to  suffer  this  
discomfort.  .  The  “lunatic  fringe,  fanatical  steam  train  devotees”  raises  train  travel  to  
an  almost  religious  level  which  is  clearly  hyperbole.  'Lunatic  fringe'  is  humorous  
because  it  suggests  that  those  who  like  train  travel  are  in  some  way  mentally  
deranged.  Contrast  is  established  when  the  writer  goes  on  to  describe  the  other,  
completely  different  type  of  travelers  (those  with  only  a  passing  interest)  therefore  
it  can  be  seen  that  train  travel  is  for  all,  and  so  every  reader  is  included  as  a  possible  
traveller,  adding  to  the  persuasive  tone  of  the  passage.  The  vocabulary  captures  the  
history  and  therefore  the  credibility  of  train  travel  in  words  such  as  “nostalgia”  and  
“oblivion”  with  their  connotations  of  long  time  scales.  A  simile  describing  the  train  
as  being  “like  a  time  capsule’  makes  the  train  seem  old-­‐fashioned,  by  suggesting  a  
trip  on  it  is  not  only  through  this  part  of  Malaysia  but  back  through  history  to  a  time  
pre-­‐dating  our  own  modern  trains.  The  metaphor  “lifeline”  comes  from  the  literal  
idea  of  throwing  a  drowning  person  a  rope  with  which  to  be  pulled  ashore:  thus  the  
vital  importance  of  the  railway  to  people’s  way  of  life  is  underpinned.    

In  conclusion  the  writer  seeks  to  persuade  people  to  use  these  trains  through  an  
appeal  to  their  sense  of  nostalgia.    
 

 
 
 

 
 
3.  Shanghai  Childhood    
The  genre  of  this  text  is  from  a  novel  which  has  been  written  from  an  
autobiographical  viewpoint.  The  tone  is  very  much  one  of  nostalgia  and  gentle  
humour.  The  writer’s  purpose  is  to  look  back  on  childhood  in  a  nostalgic,  sometimes  
rather  comical  way.  It  is  incongruous  to  describe  a  “mound”  as  having  a  “summit”.  
This  shows  that  to  small  children  a  slight  incline  in  the  garden  seems  like  a  
mountain.  The  writer  concedes  that  his  memory  is  exaggerated  in  the  phrases  “even  
at  the  time”  and  “hardly  matched”:  he  acknowledges  the  “splendour“of  the  houses  
round  the  corner,  which  are  described  as  “residences”  rather  than  merely  houses.    
A  comical  picture  of  little  boys  is  created.  Their  game  is  only  running  about  in  the  
garden  and  yet  they  are  “worn…out”  and  are  “panting”,  in  need  of  a  rest.  The  gap  
between  childhood  and  adulthood  for  the  writer  is  shown  in  the  words  “around  six  
years  old”;  he  does  not  have  an  exact  memory  because  it  was  a  long  time  ago.  
Nostalgia  is  created  in  his  closing  his  eyes  “to  bring  back  that  picture”,  consciously  
trying  to  evoke  the  past.  His  parents’  nostalgia  for  the  England  they  have  left  behind  
is  shown  in  their  weak  attempt  to  recreate  an  “English”  lawn:  the  inverted  commas  
show  their  attempt  is  not  entirely  unsuccessful  in  the  climate  of  Shanghai.  It  is  also  
important  to  note  that  tense  shift  from  past  to  present  which  further  highlights  the  
nostalgic  element  in  the  text.    

4.  Sample  Commentary  –  Toads  and  Dancing  Monkeys    

Durrell’s  autobiographical  account  of  his  travels  in  West  Africa  during  the  early  
1950s  is  humorous  His  intention  is  to  transport  the  reader  from  her  English  sitting  
room  through  the  brilliantly  colourful  jungle  which  teems  with  life  and  is  full  of  
exotic  sights  and  sounds.  Everything  here  is  alive,  from  the  ancient  lorry  to  the  
sounds  of  the  birds.  Everything  has  a  mind  of  its  own,  from  the  sentinel  trees  and  
ferns  to  the  willful  components  of  the  truck.  By  bringing  the  scene  so  vividly  to  life,  
Durrell’s  writing  serves  as  a  metaphor  for  the  exuberance  of  life  in  the  jungle.  We  
can  see  that  he  considers  the  jungle  to  be  a  single  living  entity  in  his  image  of  the  
forest,  a  thick  pelt  of  green  undulating  into  the  distance.  This  then  is  his  purpose,  to  
make  the  scene  come  bursting  alive,  and  the  language  which  he  uses  achieves  this  
aim  wonderfully  well.    
In  the  first  paragraph  we  are  cleverly  introduced  to  the  pitiful  clapped  out  jalopy  of  
a  truck.  The  negatively  expressed  and  understated  'not  in  what  one  would  call  the  
first  flush  of  youth'  leads  us  to  expect  a  means  of  transport  perhaps  verging  on  
cantankerous  and  unreliable  middle  age.  However,  the  antique  vehicle  which  arrives  
is  personified  as  a  geriatric  human  struggling  for  breath,  and  the  alliterative  'wheels  
wheezing'  and  onomatopoeic  'gasping'  bring  to  vivid  life  its  asthmatic  condition,  
especially  when  it  cannot  cope  even  with  the  gentlest  of  slopes.  Its  component  parts  
are  also  alive  and  possess  minds  of  their  own  and  thus  Durrell  has  to  take  control  of  
them  like  a  strict  schoolmaster  watching  over  unruly  pupils  with  his  stern  eye.  One  
pupil,  the  handbrake,  is  surly,  while  the  other,  the  clutch,  is  playful.  Here  we  find  the  
strange  simile  'seized  every  chance  to  leap  out  of  its  socket  with  a  noise  like  a  
strangling  leopard'.  The  noise  of  the  clutch  is  surely  a  matter  for  the  imagination  of  
the  reader,  but  one  function  of  this  simile  is  to  remind  the  reader  that  she  is  in  the  
distant  jungle  and  that  the  decrepit  lorry  still  has  something  of  the  wild  animal  in  it  
and  remains  part  of  the  jungle  around.    
Durrell  obviously  has  a  high  opinion  of  the  skills  of  West  African  lorry  drivers,  as  he  
says  that  not  even  they  can  drive  in  impossible  positions.  Here,  the  adverb  'even'  
serves  to  compare  West  African  lorry  driver  favourably  with  their  counterparts  
elsewhere.  Durrell  introduces  more  humour  when  he  describes  the  truck  as  'noble',  
a  royal  quality  it  obviously  acquires  from  its  sedate  and  stately  speed  of  20mph.  This  
is  made  more  humorous  with  the  idiomatic  'threw  caution  to  the  winds'  and  
careered  along  in  a  madcap  fashion  at  twenty-­‐five.  This  is  a  piece  of  hyperbole  as  
25mph  is  anything  but  fast,  but  of  course  to  the  clapped  out  wagon  it  is  very  quick  
indeed.    
Having  brought  the  lorry  to  life,  Durrell  moves  on  in  paragraph  two  to  bring  the  
jungle  around  him  to  life  and  endow  the  flora  with  surprising  purpose.  Here  we  
have  the  trees  standing  in  solid  ranks  as  soldiers  guarding  something,  but  what?  
Later  the  metaphor  is  repeated  as  the  ferns  become  guardians  of  a  new  landscape.  
Could  these  provide  a  clue  as  to  Durrell’s  purpose  in  Africa?  In  the  same  paragraph  
we  are  introduced  to  the  boys  who  sing  a  simple  song  in  a  simple  dialect.  All  that  
interests  them  is  going  to  ma  home  to  ma  mammy.  They  do  not  notice  and  have  no  
interest  in  the  wondrous  sights  around  them.  The  driver  too  is  deferential  to  Durrell,  
worried  that  he  will  object  to  the  song.  Durrell  is  obviously  the  boss,  he  knows  
everything  about  the  forest,  and  compared  to  his  rich  and  flamboyant  language,  the  
natives  appear  to  be  little  more  than  simpletons  who  are  merely  there  to  help  him  
on  his  dark  purpose.  This  paragraph  also  contains  beautiful,  evocative  descriptions  
of  the  love  of  Durrell’s  life,  the  animals  that  inhabit  the  forest.  The  alliteration  of  the  
fricative  f  in  flocks  of  hornbills  flapped  brings  these  exotic  birds  vividly  to  life.  The  
onomatopoeia  of  honking  conjures  their  call,  and  the  simile  like  the  ghosts  of  
ancient  taxis  evokes  a  mystical,  spiritual  rather  than  physical  presence  and  serves  to  
remind  the  reader  of  the  other  worldliness  of  this  domain.  Then  we  meet  the  agama  
lizards  who  are  alliteratively  draped  decoratively,  an  image  of  curtains  in  keeping  
with  the  nature  of  the  forest  and  one  which  gains  credence  when  their  colour  is  
described  as  sunset,  a  myriad  of  changes  from  orange  through  red  to  deepest  violet.  
Once  again  the  lizards  are  full  of  life  as  they  nod  their  heads  furiously.  Furiously  at  
what,  one  wonders  –  is  it  simply  the  speed  of  movement,  or  is  it  their  anger  and  
knowledge  of  Durrell’s  purpose?  The  road  too  has  life,  looping  its  way  in  languid  
curves.  The  lengthy  l  sounds  accentuating  the  long  and  lazy  path  it  takes.  All  of  this  
alliteration  and  onomatopoeia  serve  to  bring  the  sounds  of  the  forest  to  the  readers’  
ears.    
In  the  third  paragraph,  we  meet  a  new  landscape,  that  of  the  uplands.  This  is  much  
less  luxuriant  than  the  lowland  forest,  but  nevertheless  is  described  in  vibrant  
terms.  There  are  tree  ferns  which  stand  around  plotting  and  planning  with  fronds  
like  delicate  green  fountains,  a  simile  which  easily  captures  how  they  look  and  
suggests  the  renewing  life  giving  qualities  of  fountains.  The  hills  become  bare;  they  
shrug  themselves  free  of  a  cloak,  because,  of  course,  they  too  are  alive.  We  find  
golden  grass  rippling,  an  echo  of  the  undulating  forest  below.  To  close  this  section  
we  return  to  the  lorry,  which  has,  against  all  the  odds,  made  it  to  the  summit  
exhibiting  all  the  signs  of  illness  and  age  previously  mentioned.  Though  by  now  it  
truly  seems  to  be  on  its  last  legs  spouting  steam  like  a  dying  whale.  It  is  with  a  sense  
of  relief  and  release  that  the  passage  ends  with  the  closure  of  switched  off  the  
engine.    

Whilst  the  use  of  language  clearly  plays  the  major  role  in  how  Durrell  achieves  his  
aim,  there  are  some  areas  of  structure  which  require  comment.  He  uses  colons,  
firstly  to  explain  in  detail  why  this  particular  lorry  was  worse  than  any  he  had  met  
before.  Secondly  to  list  the  operations  he  was  required  to  supervise  whilst  in  the  
lorry.  The  effect  is  to  lead  the  reader  to  expect  that  in  each  case  more  information  
will  be  provided.  Durrell  also  uses  present  participles  rather  than  finite  tenses  to  de-­‐
emphasise  actions  and  thus  focus  more  on  the  image  presented.  Thus  we  find  that  
the  agama  lizards  lay,  blushing  into  sunset  colouring:  the  focus  clearly  being  on  the  
picture  of  them  blushing.  Similarly  we  see  massive  tree-­‐ferns  standing  in  
conspiratorial  groups,  and  the  effect  helps  us  visualise  them  as  humans.    
Durrell  easily  conveys  his  enthusiasm  for  the  forest  and  its  inhabitants  through  his  
flamboyant  use  of  language.  The  experience  for  the  reader  is  to  be  transported  with  
him  onto  the  lorry  and  into  the  forests  of  West  Africa;  to  an  exotic  location  where  
everything  is  alive  and  conscious