Академический Документы
Профессиональный Документы
Культура Документы
SPRINGING TO LIFE>
PAGE 30
May12,1994
L
[
,
"
f
r
r
-- -
99
44
/100%
Pure Men
Inside
CORNfR OF 22NO RPST., N.W.
rln s
rice
m-c ose
DEPARTMENTS
IN Focus
Where in the Bible does it say not to be gay? 7
NEWS OF THE QUEER
Mailings from Dr. Kenned)\
plus a report on the Helen Hayes Awards 9
CRYSTAL BALL'S HOROSCOPE 17
Metro Arts & Entertainment Weekly
May 12 - 18, 1994 Volume I, Issue 2
AsK DIVA
Price wars and a new form of napkin 18
c
..,
o
-
c
J
36
39
29
42
43
46
40
Cover Photographs:
"Zero Patience" by Rafy;
Spring to Ufe Main Dance Event
by Richard von Zimmer
FICTION
Adventures of Hemlock Sholmes, Part X 19
BALTIMORE DISH
PERSONALS
SPRING TO LIFE
Correspondent David DiZsadin's cover-
age ofWashington's biggest partyweekend.
Metro Arts & Entertainment Weel<ly
724 Ninth St., NW - Ste. 429
Washington, D.C. 20001
(202) 347-7640 - Fax: (202) 347-781 1
All material appearing In Metro Arts & Entertainment Weekly Is pro-
tected by federal copyright law and may not be reproduced In whole
or part without the pel mission of the publisher. Metro Arts & Enter-
tainment Weekly assumes no responsibility for unsolicited materials
submitted for publication. All such submissions are subject to editing
and will not be returned unless accompanied bya self-addressed stamped
envelope. Metro Ivts & Ent.. tainment Weekly is supported by many
fine adIIertisers. but we cannot accept responsibility for dalms made by
adIIertisers nor can we accept responsibility for materials provided by
advertisers or their agents. Publication of the name or photograph of
any person or organization In artides or advertising in Metro Arts &
Entertainment Weekly is not to be construed as any indication of the
sexual orientation of such person or organization.
Publishers: . Marcus lyman & Randy Shulman
Editor-in-Chief: Randy Shulman
Art Director: Richard von Zimmer
Production Manager: Mark S. Tucker
Director of Sales Ie Marketing: Marc lyman
Contributing Editors: ean Bugg. Mark J. Schroeder
Contributing Artist: Paul Myan
Contributing Writers: Cry Lal Ball
Raynor Beane-Burton. Diva, J. Rexer. Polly 1i
@ 1994 I osceles Publishing, Inc..
nstea 0
rune!
I
.. 'l.: :.
'. ,
, -J.
(
";
''"..
<.'
H''''
". ? :
,.
> t
-i. .
..
-'.
- ..
.' "
.' ;;..
<
' .
..
," "
:
'. ,
.
. .'
RELIGIOUS PROPAGANDA
I n
F o c u S
by Mark J. Schroeder
projecting a
beacon of hope
Why are so
many Funda-
mentalists
preaching a
message of
hate when they
should be
was saying that he was greater and more wise
than that god. It was most defInitely a major
"no-no" back then-and it still is today.
By placing themselves in a position where
they are able to "second guess" the Almighty,
by telling Him what will and will not happen;
it seems pretty clear to me that some of these
"holier than thou," self-appointed watchdogs of
morality have unwittingly plunked themselves
onto pretty dangerous turf. I mean, if God
wasn't pretty
caught up with
the omniscience
of His own be-
ing, it wouldn't be
the fIrst words he
spoke to Moses.
And speaking
of Moses ... re-
member the tab-
lets God wrought
for him? Check
out what they say.
See ifyou can fInd
any law mandat-
ing whomyou are
to love; or with
whom you are to
spend your life,
sharing your tears
andyourjoys, your
failures and your
successes. I've
looked long and
hard, trying ro
read into or interpret each word in anyway that
might remotely suggest an admonition against
same sex love and I'll be damned if I can.
So why are so many Fundamentalists getting
so riled up and preaching a message of hate
and bigotry when they should be projecting a
beacon oflight and hope. Why didn't Godspeak
up?
Guess it just wasn't an issue with God.
AINSfREAM RELIGIOUS denominations-
both Christian and Jewish-have long
viewed homosexuality as an abomination to
God, as a sin so abhorrent that even the Al-
mighty Himself fInds it easier to forgive the
murderer, the thief or the rapist than the Queer.
Gay men and women are destined-if we are
to accept what certain religious leaders and zeal-
ots would have us believe-to spend not only
our brief time on this planet in a continual state
of immoral flux outside the will of God. We're
also doomed to eternal hell, fIre and brimstone.
What absolute crap!
How is it even conceivable for any rational
human being to be so presumptuous as to de-
TURING
NOW ACCEPTING
24 "0" STREET, S.E.
(202) 4840323
I
PLUS
,
THE LARGEST
SELECTION OF
ALL MALE VIDEOS
FOR SALEIN
THEDCAREA!
- ~ - ~ - - _ . ~ - - - -
POLLY
~
H
One of America's ><
><
most widely read
weekly publications. Po-
rtKle magazine. recentlyran
a lesbian-specificquestion in
its "Personality Parade"
gossipcolumn.
"Q: It has been statecI as
fact that Janet Reno is an
admitted lesbian. I happen
,
sexual orientation has noap-
parent bearing on the per-
formance of her duties in of-
fice, most people believe
that there is no reason to
1'k'I
to admire her and would
like the truth. Would you
provide it? R.L., India-
napoliS, IN.
':4.; In various public fo-
rums, suchasTVand maga-
zine interviews, Attorney
General Janet Reno. 55, has
addressed the question of
her single status by saying
that, althoughshe likes men.
she just hasn't met the right
one. Rumors to the contrary
notwithstanding, Ms. Reno
has never suggested that
she is a lesbian. Since her
-
,
Dr. Kenr'edy
has suddenly
discovered
not just like
heterosexual
RELIGIOUS NUT INVADES MAILBOX!
efore the upcoming ballot-box battle for
Gay civil rights takes place with referendums
designed to take away what gains have been
made in the past few years, some self-ap-
pointed mouthpieces of God are making their pre-
liminary engagements in the mailbox.
We recently received a copy of"Special 'Gay
Rights': Fact & Fiction," a lovely little piece ofpropa-
ganda being circulated
by the Reverend D.
James Kennedy, Ph.
D. (there must have
been a special on
doctoral degrees in the
7-11, right next to the
burritos). Adapted
" Hom 0 sex u a I from an earlier version
b e h a v i 0 r is-by Colorado for
Family Values, the
brochure purports to
expose the myth of
"gay rights" as a plot
b e h a v i 0 r " 'to "force all of us to
accept, affirm, and
even subsidize their
deviant "lifestyle."
This is the type of brochure best read with your eyes
closed. Among some of its revelations...
Because our choice is right, that's why.
Next question. Since Queers "choose" their lifestyle,
they shouldn't be protected the way ethnic and
biological gender groups are. Of course, the fact that
Christianity and other religions are constructed
around the "choice" to believe in the unprovable is
breezily explained away with a reference to First
Amendment protection. You couldn't solve
-
A Play by
Paula Vogel
\
May ll-June 12
This
production
sponsored by
AT&T
The Washington
Premiere of a 1992
Oble Winner
......)
.'
\.....
,.....
con't i n u e d
POLLY
pursue the matter fur- foi
....
><
Reno was honored ><
ther."
The Washington Times'
"'nside the Beltway" politi-
cal gossip column recently
ran an item about the trau-
mas fadng a transgendering
personworkingat thesuper-
secret CentrallnteJligence
Agency.
"Lawmakersat themeet-
last month by the National
Gay& Lesbian Task Force
as an "ally" of the gay com-
munity.
"To update our item last
week about the male CIA
employee within the office
that analyzes spy satellite
photographs who is under-
going a sex change opera-
tion," wrote the Times, "[it]
to become a woman, a
closed door congressional
hearingresultedonthe mat-
ter.
turns out...that after theman!
woman approached his/her
supervisor not long ago to
advise him of his/her desire
s w E N
a third-grade word problem with logic this circular.
Queers are rich, so screw 'em. Accord-
ing to the good doctor and his Colorado friends, all
of us are rolling in dough with household incomes of
more than $55,000. Queers go to college! And even
worse, they travel overseas!
The reverend says it best: "Would it be fair for
disadvantaged Americans to compete with wealthy
homosexuals for minority contracts and special
benefits?" Of course not. When we get back from
Greece, we'll organize a benefit for them (but only if
they chip in on the barn rental.)
Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's sexual
prowess. Somewhere along the way, Dr. Kennedy
discovered that "Homosexual behavior is not just like
heterosexual behavior." Of course not, silly that's
why we like it. From the looks ofhis statistics, claim-
ing that 43 percent of Queers have had more than
500 sex partners (28 percent have had more than
1,000), it seems some of us have a lot of catching up
to do. We've cleaved our calendar through June 1998.
Honey, hide the cat! Who knows where they
get the time, but according to the .reverend, Queers
have managed to molest approximately every other
child in the United States and its affiliated territories.
You know how it is: you've spent the day
making an obscene amount of money, you've met
and left Mr. Right umber 2,148, and your trip to
Thailand doesn't happen until next week. What else is
there to do but buy some lollipops and hang out at
the neighborhood playground?
Wanna get on Dr. Kennedy's misaligned
nerves? Request a copy of his Gay rights "opinion
survey": James Kennedy, Ph.D., Coral Ridge Minis-
tries, P.O. Box 407132, Fort Lauderdale, FL 33340-
7132. He'll sell your name to half the religious loony
organizations in the country. But every stamp they
buy means Granny will have to write a bigger check
and her Social Security only stretches so far. ..
continued
POLLY
~
....
><
><
come a woman. go
The Human Rights
Campaign Fund's commit-
ment to serving the interests
of the Democratic Party
instead of the gay com-
munity's, was proved yet
again in a recent story in
New England's INNews-
weekly, a gay newspaper:
HRCF's communications
one year.
'''Women's pants are OK,
but no dresses; certain types
ofshirts are OK. but nothing
too feminine or flowery.' said
the source."
ahead and let him/her. But
the employee was asked to
limit his/her wardrobe for
PROMOTING DEMOCRATS
director Gregory King
boasted: "HRCF has gone
on record stating we do not
promote homosexuality. "
King was responding to
questions about HRCF's un-
flinching support for Con-
gressmanJoseph Kennedy
(D-MA) and his wrong vote
~
ing...decided.. .ifthe em-
I
ployee wanted to be-
s w E N
i n g , s
provided by
the acceptance
~ pee c h e s
ON THE SCENE AT THE HELEN HAYES
_ he Helen Hayes, Washington's theatre awards,
~ handed out in a gala ceremony this past
Monday, May 9, at the Warner Theatre. The
,
reI
" "
- - --.
Inner: I
ne ree I
p- ---
I
I
I
.. _- --
Limit One coupon per Customer per. visit.
Free admission to EscANDALOr Friday & Saturday for Diners!
continued
(who is currently starring on Broadway in '1\ngels in
America"), said "Well, I'm sure he would have
thanked me."
With his long hair flip and frilly Victorian
shirt, the lank.ry Reggie Ray resembled a black Twiggy.
Ray won for Outstanding Costume Design for his
stunning work on Studio Theatre's "Spunk."
Playwright icky Silver, whose "Free Will and
Wanton Lust" nabbed the Charles MacArthur Award
for Outstanding New Play, stole the evening with a
series of sarcastically glib, uproarious remarks.
"I was so very moved by the opening slide
montage tour of the District," he said, referring to the
show's lovely if mundane opening multimedia pre-
sentation. In acknowledging fellow "Free Will"
nominees Jason Kravitz and Naomi Jacobson, both
of whom had lost earlier in the evening, the outspo-
ken Silver did not mince words.
'Td like to thank Jason Kravitz, who was
screwed tonight... and aomi Jacobson, who was
also screwed," he said.
The giddy Silver made such a favorable im-
pression on the audience that Mistress of Ceremonies,
the chronically-ebullient Pat Carroll chuckled ''1 wish
I had that kid's act."
And speaking of Carroll, the actress took
home yet another award (her third), for her bracing
portrayal of the title role in Michael Kahn's produc-
tion of Bertolt Brecht's "Mother Courage and her
Children." (Kahn won for Outstanding director.)
18004221314
get personal attention. A principal of
the company is available 24 hours a day to
discuss your needs.
WEEK OF MAY 1 2 - 1 9
H o r o s c
ope
by Crystal Ball
MARCH 21
- APRIL 19
ARIES - Your abilitytostart projects
in a grand way will be used quite
successfully in the coming days. To
get the best results from your natu-
ral executive ability, you should
have a good work plan that every-
one connected to the project un-
derstands completely.
SEPT. 23
- OCT. 22
LIBRA - Business conflicts are tak-
ing up too much of your time and
you need to rise above it all and get
your work done. There are prob-
ably too many cooks in the kitchen
and it would be better ifyou stayed
in the pantry and organized the
shelves for inventory!
CAPRICORN - Your friends are
becoming the cornerstone for ad-
vancement and respect. It's time to
dust off those old dreams of yours
and realize that they are possible to
attain again. Test the waters in com-
fortable surroundings before you
take the high dive.
AQUARIUS - You are about to
enter a very good period when you
don't have to take life so seriously.
Don't brood and be concerned
about the future for a while. 1iyto
enjoy the present to the fullest and
take advantage of what you have
worked so hard for.
SCORPIO - Expressingyour desires
to a new love will break the ice and
start a flood of emotions that will
be hard to control. If you expect
too much, too early and too soon
you won't be able to receive honest
communication from your poten-
tial partner.
SAGITTARIUS - Advancement in
your career is making it difficult to
separate your personal and business
lives. Avoid overexposure and keep
quiet about what goes on in your
office. A slip of the tongue can be-
come front page news ifyou aren't
careful.
JAN 20-
FEB. 18
NOV.22 -
DEC. 21
OCT. 23-
NOV. 21
DEC. 22-
AN 19
TAURUS - The tides are bringing
changes that offer hope for a
brighter future. You should actively
pursue broader honwns that might
lead to success but be prepared to
leave behind those who don't share
your dreams. A shon trip can be
revitalizing.
GEMINI - Learn better ways to take
care ofyourself. Inner conflicts arise
and upset your system. The need
for a creative outlet is strong and
should be pursued until you find
the proper outlet. Don't let other
people's plans get in the wayofyour
peace ofmind.
CANCER - The next few days will
offer you different circumstances
whichwill be in your favor. Be aware
of time limitations and don't plan
on too many activities that involve
unsolicited work. There is no need
to overwork yourself if you don't
have to.
LEO - You'll make it through a bar-
rier that has been standing in your
way and be able to do some ofyour
best work. Your finances should
improve when you are able to fin-
ish a project that you have been
putting off. Stop procrastinating
and finish it.
MAY 21 -
JUNE 20
APRIL 20
- MAY 20
jUNE21-
JULY 22
JULY 23
-AUG. 22
PISCES - Strange circumstances will
alter the course ofa friendship and
affect your love relationship. Don't
make any big changes in your social
life right away and don't burn your
bridges. Keep an open mind because
you will probably change your
mind next week.
FEB. 19-
MARCH 20
VIRGO - Refuse to allow anyone
to take advantage ofyou. Especially
a Pisces or Libra. Someone is keep-
ing vital information from you that
you need to make the right career
move. Don't take anything at it's
face value and don't let anyone take
you for granted.
AUG. 23-
SEPT. 22
"You place it in your lap so it
can absorb your spills,
dummy!"
After an unsuccessful dinner,
my mother explained to me
that she could only make out
the word napkin on the box of
Kotex (the box belonged to my
sister). She said she thought
they were a little bulky to be
regular napkins but decided
that they must be some sort of
super absorbent brand or
something. Diva what can I
do? She refuses to get her eyes
checked and I'm afraid to leave
her by herself.
-Not Seeing Eye to Eye
Dear Diva,
your letter. It's such a waste of
time that Diva gave her
personal mailman and garbage
man a substaritial raise just to
make up for the energy they
wasted delivering it and
throwing it out.
Poor, misguided strange
one, next time you have a
dollar and thirty cents to spare,
try shopping for a life-you
need that much more than
eggs.
Dear Diva,
Last week, I went to the
supermarket to get a dozen
large eggs and they were only
$1.29. This week I went to the
same store to get the same type
of eggs and the clerk tried to
charge me $1.30. Well, I was
livid. I asked to speak to the
manager on duty and was told
by him that the eggs last week
were mispriced. Diva I don't
buy that excuse one bit. I
wasn't born yesterday. I know
when the wool is being pulled
over my eyes. So I told him
that he and his store had
committed a gross injustice to
the consumers and, on behalf
of all their customers, I would
never shop in their establish-
ment again. Wouldn't you do
the same, Diva?
DearPOed,
Oh, your poor, sweet
mother. Diva remembers when
her mother went through a
similar crises. It was right
before Diva decided to place
her at Shadey Bitch ursing
My poor mother is going Home. (Back then, it was
blind and refuses to admit it. called Shadey Birch but some
She's doing things that really graffiti artist placed a 't' where
embarrass me because she can't the 'r' was and its been the
see what she's doing. Last same ever since-but that's
month while my mother was neither here nor there.) You
staying wi.th me I invited my are justified in being afraid to
best friends, some of whom are leave mommy dearest to her
-.Pissed Off lesbian (Pm a gay man), to my own devices. Believe me there's
house for a dinner party. Well, no telling how much havoc a
my mother insisted that she blind mother can unleash.
help so I asked her to set the If your unfortunate dinner
Sweetheart, your letter puts table and not to forget to have incident didn't convince her to
the U in MUNDANE and the napkins placed on each plate. see an eye doctor, then honey,
S in ridiculous. Honey, don't Oh, she placed napkins on each you'll just have to drag her
you have a life or are you some plate all right... feminine kicking and screaming against
overaged houseboy who's gone napkins. It wasn't until after her will. While this may sound
senile? Of all the many years the guests were seated at the horrendous, consider it tough
Diva has been dispensing her table that I came out of the love on your part. After all, it's
wisdom to the broken hearted' kitchen to discover my her well-being and safety we
and those with serious con- mother's unintended faux pas. are talking about. And remem-
cerns she has never received When one guest s ~ why a ber, if all else fails there's
such a paltry pile of petty feminine napkin was on her always a vacancy at Shadey
words as those contained in plate my mother shouted, Bitch nursing home.
Address your questions or matters of ooncem to Diva clo MW, 724 9th Street, N.W. Suite 429, Washington, DC 20001. Or FAX
your message to 202-347-7811. Opinions expressed are Diva's and do not necessarily reflect those of Metro Arts & Entertainmen
Weekly. Letters are subject to editing.
~
docks along the Thames." Sholmes ran his hand
along one ofthe feathered walls, and then care-
fully smelled his palm. ''Yes! That's it precisely!"
"That's what?" I demanded, having no idea
whatsoever what my companion's powers of
deduction and observation had revealed to him.
"Don't you see, Witless?" declared Sholmes
excitedly. "We've stumbled upon not only the
lair ofour fiendish culprit, but one of the most
sophisticated smuggling operations ever de-
vised in the history of the British Empire."
"You're not speaking of the
Rangoon Conspiracy?" inter-
jected Latreen.
"Aye! Indeed I am, Inspec-
tor."
"Well I'll be flogged!" re-
torted Latreen. "The Yard's been
working on that case ever since I
was walking a beat."
''Latreen, there's not a mo-
ment to lose! Go downstairs and
summon as many of your men
you can muster up!" Sholmes re-
moved a small piece of paper
from his pocket and examined it
carefully. "What time is it, Wit-
less?"
"A few minutes past three."
"Excellent! There's still time.
According to my notes, the HMS
Ambergris is due to set sail on
the tide... less than two hours
from no\. Take your men and-
at all costs stop that vessel from
sailing. Once you've accom-
plished that, round up another dozen or so men
and meet Doctor Witless and me back here."
"With pleasure, Mr. Sholmes." Latreen did a
quick about face and ran down the wooden
stairs as swiftly as his ponderous body would
allovv, s outing jubilantly: "Oh! This will be
quite a feather in my cap when the Inspector
M:V
"We've stum-
bled upon not
only the lair
of our fiend-
ish culprit."
declared
Sholmes ...
but one of
themost
sophistica ted
smuggling
operatl0ns
ever devised!"
A Stu3;9 in Laven3elJ Part X:
The Conclusion
by
Sir Mark Jason Schroeder
The Adventures of
e oc
he second floor ofthe Chyken
Coop Emporium provided a
striking contrast to the dingy,
foul-smelling public room be-
lo\. As Sholmes, Latreen and
I reached the top of the stair-
case, we were all momentarily taken aback by
the complexity of the engineer-
ing that went into the construc-
tion of the labyrinthine architec-
ture that lay before us. Long cor-
ridors of which there were no
less than eight spidered out in
all directions, each lit by a series
of gas lamps placed at regular in-
tervals along the richly colored
walls covered, almost entirely,
with lavender feathers.
"Why this is amazing!" I de-
clared, barely able to comprehend
the immensity of the floor plan.
"How can this be? The u i l ~
simply didn't look this large from
the outside."
"It's not," replied Sholmes
without an instant's hesitation.
"Notice how each hallway slopes
downward and curves out of
sight. It's myguess that these cor-
ridors connect to other adjacent
buildings via underground tun-
nels, ultimately terminating
somewhere in the maze of alleyways across the
street, where the constable lost track ofthe flee-
ing Mr. Wilkins."
"What do you make of it? What is the pur-
pose of all this?" inquired Latreen, scratching
his balding pate.
"And those alleyways no doubt lead to the
General learns that I have solved the most baf-
,
fling case in the history of the Yard! I'll be up
for a promotion, for sure!"
Sholmes looked at me knowingly as the In-
spector disappeared from view, and whispered,
"That idiot couldn't detect a fart in a paper
handbag... but that's not important now. We
must find Paul."
I looked around to catch my bearings, still
amazed and confounded by the vast number
ofrooms and parlours that communicated with
the mind-boggling hallways. "Where do we be-
gin, Sholmes? He _
could be in any of
the rooms. It'll take
us the rest of the
night to search each
one. By then it
could be too..."
"Don't distress
yourself, my dear
Doctor," said
Sholmes confi-
dently. He then po-
sitioned himself
with his arms ex-
tended in the cen-
ter of the hub from
which all the corri-
dors appeared to
originate. "In addi-
tion to all my other
formidable powers, ,.
I am also a human .' .
compass. Observe." ;.,
I watched in to- ,
tal disbelief as
Sholmes began to spin around on one leg, gath-
ering greater and greater dizzying momentum,
until his slender form looked like little more
than a blurred image caught up in some sort of
cyclonic Maelstrom.
After several moments of this super-human
feat, the likes ofwhich defied not only all laws
of human anatomy and physiology, but grav-
ity as well; he came to an abrupt stop, poised
and fully alert with but one arm extended, like
a Brittany spaniel on the point.
"Good God, Sholmes! Are you all rIght?"
He looked at me as if my question were an
I ~
insult to his performance. "Of course I'm all
right, Witless! Haven't I told you that when it
comes to Paul, he and I are attracted to each
other as a compass needle is to due north? ~
let us waste not another moment. Follow me!"
The corridor we trespassed was thickly car-
peted in a brightly colored pink hued fabric of
extraordinary beauty. I had seen similarly con-
structed carpets in only one other part of the
world-Afghanistan. "This whole excursion
has been positively amazing, Sholmes. Each
moment that I am in your company, I take fur-
ther and further
leave ofmysenses.
At this rate, by
dawn, I fear I shall
have 10 t my mind
completely, and
fall within the
ranks of Latreen."
Sholmes snick-
ered playfully at
my comment, re-
marking that he
didn't believe such
erosion of the in-
tellect was even
within the realmof
possi bili ty. He
then paused in
front of one of the
doors and an-
nounced: "This is
it, Witless. Paul
awaits beyond the
threshold."
~ you say. But
seeing is believing."
The door to the parlour was unlocked, and
we entered cautiously.
Unlike the hallway, the lighting in this large
circular chamber was austere and subdued, il-
luminated only by a singular lamp which hung
pendulously from the center of the room, and
beneath which was situated a table, not unlike
those seen in operating theatres. Around the
periphery of the room were arranged chairs of
varying description, some appeared to be com-
fortably padded with fme upholstery, others
were stark and purely functional in design.
I could have lasted in that thing," gasped the
terrilled boy.
"Who did this to you, Paul?" queried
Sholmes, his eyes, even in the darkness of the
room, glared like beacons.
"Mr. WI.1k.ins. He took me up here and was
about to cut me to pieces; he was...just a few
minutes ago. But I guess he heard you and the
Doctor talking downstairs and made off
thtough that door." Paul pointed to a small pas-
sageway on the far side of, the wall. "He had
me on the table, stripped me of all me clothes,
shackled me with this leather restrainer, cov-
ered me with these feathers...Oh, it was awful,
Mr. Sholmes..."
"Calm down, lad," I said, at-
tempting to inspire confIdence in
the quaking form before me.
"Mr. Sholmes and I will have ev-
erything under conttol. .. won't
i n we, Sholmes?"
"Indeed we shall, Witless."
. Then, turning his attention back
to Paul, Sholmes asked," Will you
be able to lead the way?"
"Yes, I think I can do that, but
I don't have any clothes...rm as
naked as a jaybird."
And indeed he was. Paul,
without a stitch of clothes to
cover his ivory-colored fraple, sat
before us, fully erect.
Paul gazed down at himself
and commented with an embar-
rassed charm that only adoles-
cents can express, "But what
about this? It won't go away, even
with all rve been through."
"Don't you worry about that," said Sholmes
understandingly, "we'll take care of that back
at Baker Street. Right now we've got a mur- .
derer to apprehend. Just lead the way, and leave
the rest to Doctor Witless and myself."
Paul rose to his feet; it amazed me how rap-
idly he had managed to recover from his gruel-
ing episode. A man my age most likely would
have required the services of a team of physi-
cians to muster the energy this remarkable
young man exhibited as he led way through
the entanglement of corridors leading down-
t-XV
Paul's body
was bound
rigidly
some sort of
loathsome
apparatus
fashioned
from thick
1eather and
covered
in lavender
feathers
"Hmm...if I did not know better," said I,
"one would think we had just entered a sur-
gery."
"Not to be fooled, Witless. This is no
surgery. .. at least not of the type with which you
are familiar. My guess is that we have happened
upon the sanetv of a diabolical cult
of devil worshippers. Observe, Witless," re-
marked Sholmes as he struck a match and
walked farther into the room, "this is not a table
where the ills of the infIrm are excised, but an
altar where the bodies of young men are dis-
sected and offered up as a sacrifIce to the pow-
ers of darkness."
As I approached my companion, there came
from a netherpart of the room a
forlorn and mournful groan. With
the quickness of a bolt of light-
ning, Sholmes fell to his knees,
and striking another match with
which to better explore, discov-
ered almost immediately a large
cocoon-shaped object making its
way cumbersomely across the far
reaches of this chamber of hor-
rors.
"Come quickly, Witless," cried
Sholmes. "Your professional assis-
tance is once again required!"
I ran to my companion's side
and was horrifIed by what lay be-
fore us. Paul's tender young body
was all but paralyzed, bound rig-
idly in some sort of loathsome
apparatus fashioned from thick
leather and covered with an array
oflavender feathers. Only a shock .
of his red hair could be seen --.
emerging from the confmes of his prison, and
a small orillce, cut into the front of the gro-
tesque mask which held his head immobile,
allowed for any chance of breath.
Cutting frantically through the ungodly con-
traption that threatened our young friend's very
existence with the pocket knife, which I always
carried in my coat pocket, I managed, in short
order, to liberate Paul from his imminent ap-
pointment with death.
"Doctor Witless! Mr. Sholmes! Thank God
you found me! I don't know howmuch longer
Henry James Reginald Thurgood Marshal Wilkins (aka The Zipper) was,
of course, charged with far more serious crimes than cruelty to animals, in-
cluding, in diminishing order: First degree murder (four counts), false im-
prisonment (eight counts), conspiracy to traffic ip stolen goods (1,003 counts),
and buggery (6,753,002 counts). .
He waS sentenced to eight hundred and six years in the Marshalsea prison
for crimes against humanity. And upon completion of that sentence, will be
remanded to the government of Singapore where he will face 9,011 lashes
with an antiseptically soaked bamboo cane.
goancy.
ANZ
'AVA
COME OUT AND PARTY TO THE MAX!
Saturday, May 21
Come meet the members of
BLACK AND WHITE MEN
TOGETHER (BWMT)
6 to 9pm
Food, Decorations, Dancing
r---------.
SATURDAY, MAY 14
NO COVER!
Complimentary Champagne
t 11 m, Midni ht, and 1am
$1.75 Rail Drinks
J
. uvres
rom 8p '.. "
JDave - starts at 4pm
BACK - starts at 6pm
wI DJ Percy - starts at 7pm
FRIDAt May 13
Door proce .....
,
BLAC '. ,:.
"1'
.. .
, , )l;
~ l l ' NI'
I .j :
.. ,
: 11'
,
,
!; l
,
\
. 11 :Ij
'I' .' ; " , . .
,
.: , ,
\ ',\,
\ '
1735 Maryland Ave" Baltimore, MD 410.539,6965 &1.800.863.6965
B a 1 t
1 ill o r e D
1 s h
by aorni d'Plume
EXTRAl EXTRAl LOCAL CLUB GETS A
MASTECTOMYl.... We hear tell a certain local
establishment that recently went bisexual in an
attempt to attract business, has reconsidered, and
will once again become a full-fledged homo-ha-
ven. Yes, that's right, everyone, the Custom
House will be divesting, (or should we say de-
breasting?) itselfofthe female element in an ef-
fort to return the club to its original format. We
here at the mag wish Joe and Tom the best of
luck in turning things around. As for Miss
Amanda, we wish her luck in any and all ofher
future ventures.
THE LADY VANiSHES.... The mystery has
been solved concerning the disappearance of
Central Station manager Steve Martin. It
seems Steve has relocated back to Northern Vir-
ginia. The only thing is that he neglected to tell
some very important people: his landlord, his
employer, his pet tarantula, his bookie, his Uncle
Martin, his Aunt Bessie, the dirty underwear he
left at the laundromat. ...
HUNK ALERT!. ... Those hunky mucho
gorgeoso Men of Adonis will grace the stage,
or is it bar, ofClub Adantis this Saturday, May
14th. It might be interesting to see who will ac-
companythemto the bar!
EVE'S DROPPiNGS.... Eve was awakened,
after having one too manySingapore Stings (you
know that drink, it's like a ingapore Sling, only
after three, you don't give a damn if they spray
paint your face, lock you up in Jail, or bullwhip
your butt). Eve heard the following tid-bits while
our imbibing: 1) Who's boyfriendwas wander-
ingaimlesslyalong the side ofthe road and had to
retrieved?... 2) Is yet another bar, off the
.beaten path, on the market?... 3) Who threat-
ened to boycott the recently canceled "Queen
ofPride" pageant, because she was not asked to
be involved? Inquiring minds want to know!
WHERE THE BOYS ARE.... Take a drive up
the country this Sunday, May 15th, to witness
the first Mr. Frederick Contest. The bar host-
ing and sponsoring the event is none other than
Maryland's newest alternative nite Spot...Talons!
The show will be hosted by none other than
Miss Tia Chambers. We expectorate a good
time will be had by all.
CONFIDENTIALTO RiCK.... We don't know
what you were thinking, but we unanimously dis-
approve ofthe color ch'!Oge to your hair. When
it comes to hair color we agree with the old ad-
age: "To thine own self be true," After all, halfof
Baltimore already knows your natural color (as
do their dentists).
NAME THAT TUNE.... Who's theme song is
nowgoing to be "And I Am Telling You... Pm
otGoing!"
WE'RE WARM FOR YOUR FORM.... This
week's coveted WWFYF Award goes to a
gentleman named Cory, who we met at the Stud
this past weekend. He was so hot, he could give
a dog a bone! So what's the story, Cory, you up
for a night ofpain and glory?
EVENT
c P R I N
WASHIN,GTCN1S
BY DAVID 01 ZSADIN
L to R: STL Co-chair David von
Ston::h, Mapplethorpe Laboratorydi-
rector Jerome E. Groopman, M.D.,
and visiting committee chair Ron
Ansin.
I
\
crowd
down to
floor with
Janet
Jackson,
John Niederhauser gradually picked up the
intensity by adding pumping strobes, and
eventually the rafters of lights broke through
the gauze
and
coursed
down
towards the
crowd.
By
11:30,
Mark
'Thrbox
drew the
,
commuruty.
More important
was the fact that the revellers were partying
for a cause: The funds raised go to The
Robert Mapplethorpe Laboratory for AIDS
Research, which is doing extraordinary
research into the treatment of AIDS by using
gene therapy.
"The kinds of funds generated here are
tremendously powerful," said Dr. Jerome
Groopman, director of the Mappelthorpe
Lab, "because they're granted immediately.
[Hence], we can apply
them immedi-
ately."
By not being
just another
party, by striving
to help out a
cause, Spring to
Life gains a
significance not
found on any other
party on the major circuit...
It actually has meaning.
with wearing a skirt" look as kilts and short
skirts were everywhere. Andrew Donner
said he was taking the
look "one step
further" with his
Mrican-print mini.
The special, top
secret performer was...
Chane11e who sang
"One Man" and her
hit "Work That Body."
Talk about incendiary
lung power! (We
noticed DJ Darryl Strickland jamming
around to her performance.) Chanelle was a
good choice for a performer, and she made a
point of mentioning her SlJpport for gay and
lesbian causes.
One pre-party concern had been trying to
entice people to come to Washington in a
year that most people are planning to spend
their vacations in New York. Well, it didn't
community
everyone
living with
It's interesting
that you bring
up health care,
because I know
so many people
who have no
health insur-
ance. As far as
I'm concerned I
think socialized
medicine is a
much needed
thing. What are
the ups and
downs of the
system that you
find in your
country?
The upside ofour
health care sys-
tem is that it
guarantees
people a good, the dis e a s e
basic level of
health care and
heath care provi-
sion. And contrary to all the fearmongering
thafs going on in the V.S. press: you can
choose your own doctor at every stage. The
biggest single thing that undermines the deliv-
ery of health care, however, is a value system
built on V.S. technology. You have this incred-
ibly high-tech expense of evasive technology
What effort is the Canadian government
putting towards the AIDS fight?
You bet. What I want to do is stay based here
in Toronto. There's an ability to get projects
funded that are off the beaten track and more
REJ:"TTA L
&
SALES
COSTV..2VlES
COSTUlVIES MADE TO ORDER
KS, '\IVIGS, MAKE-UP,
DANC E'\IVEAR
-
BOOKS, SCRIPTS
& POSTERS
ALSO AVAILABLE
PROFESSIOZ"-J"AL STAFF
2-.0-. PST. N.
2
on
2303 S. Arlington Ridge Road
(703) 979 - 1040
Your Northern Virginia Expert
for Buying, Selling or Renting
Call Mary Kirn
EYEGOTCHA
OPTOMETRIC
SABA E. AYAlrw, 0.0.
MARY E. FEOIW, 0.0.
DOCTORS OF OPTOMETRY
EYE EXAMS, CONTACT LENSES, EYEGlASSES
1511 CONN. AVE., NW 202-483-7063
Organic Produce
Natural Foods & Body Care
Ecological Household Products
.,. "
o <,"
,. '01,,,0 Over 200 Bulk Items, Coffees 7 Herbs
TPSS Community Food Store
623 Sligo Ave. - Silver Spring, Md. 20910
301-588-6093
Remington's
Reported by
STAN SLUITER
Trumpets
Repon.dby
ALAN CHASAN B'U KEAIIT
I. FOREVER AND A DAY
arothws In Rhythm
2. WHAT'S UI'
OJ Mlko
J. REACH
judy Cloeela
4. SMEUS UKE TEEN Sl'IlUT
AbIgaIl
5. (MEET) THE FUNTSTONES
Be 52's
6. TREE FlIOG
Hope
7. BACK. FORTH
AalIyah
8. USTEN TO THE MUSIC
Dooble IIrothen
9. AROUND. I WEST END GIRLS
East 17
10. WHEN I FEU IN LOVE
Usa Usa
Stagecoach
Reported by
KEVIN. BRUCE
I. WHAT A CRYING SHAME
Mavericks
2. ON THE ROAD
Lee Roy Parnell
J. DONTTAKE THE GIRL
Tim McGrail
4. FOREVER DANCE
Alan Taylor
5. WHENEVER YOU COME AROUND
Vince Gill
6. nuAUTHE LONELY'S GONE
Pam Tillis
7. LET THE PICTURE PAINT ITSELF
Rodney Cr_ell
8. I CANT STAND TO WATCH MY
OLD FLAME BURN
Curtis Wright
9. RUHAWAY TRAIN
Randy Travis ~
10. IN BETWEEN DANCES "-.:JlJI
Pam Tillis
Blue Penguin
Reported by
IVAN JINKS
I. I WANT YOU
Juliet Roberts
2. I00% PURE LOVE
Crystal Waters
J. WHISPERING YOU NAME
Alison Moyct
4. FOREVER AND A DAY (DMC)
Brothers In Rhythm
5. RENAISSANCE
M People
6. LOVE & HAPPINESS
River Occan with India
7. LIBERATION
Pet Shop Boys
8. BUBBLE
Fluke
9. GOD SAVE THE QUEER
Klatsch
10. SLAVE TO THE RHYTHM '94
Grace Jones
JR's
Reported by
ALBERT LEE
I. WHISPERING YOUR NAME
Alison Moyet
2. LOVE HAPPINESS
RIver Ocean with India
J. BEAUTIFUL I'EOPLE
Barbara Tucker
4. STARS
Nerissa
5. AU I DO
jane Child
6. DOOP
Doop
7. ROCK MY HEART
Haddaway
8. GRAVlTAnONALARCH OF 10
Vapourspace
9. LUV4 U
Bad Boy Blue
10. DONT LET IT GO TO YOUR HEAD
Chantay Savage
,
,
. .-
-
Reported by
DAVID SORAKA
PTMax
I. IF EVER I LOSE MY FAITH
Sting
2.I'UWAIT
Taylor Dayne
J. CHICAGO T R C K W ~ R K Vol. II
All Cuu ,
4. SEARCHIN'
eeCe Peniston
5. I WANT TO THANK YOU
Robin S
6. STARS
Nerissa
7. LOVE COME DOWN
Allison Umerick
8. I BELIEVE
Sounds of Blac.kness
9. OUT OF MY HEAD
Marradonna
10. BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE ~ "'"
Barbara Tucker ,'-"'.,.
Green Lantern
Reported by
KOSTASK
I. THERE BUT FOR THE GRACE OF GOD
Fire Island
2. FADE TO GREY
Datura
J. WIN MY LOVE
Ce -,ay
4. GROOVE TO ME
0' EFX
5. LOVE AND HAPPINESS (OMC)
RIver Ocean
6. IT GOES UKE THIS
_Tribe
7. THE RIGNT nME
I to I
8. LOVE COME DOWN
Allison Umerick
9. lYE GOT THE MUSIC
Mount llulhmonl
10. GOD SAVE THE QUEER
Klatsch!
1
Top 10's prOVides our
readers with the latest
look at what music is
being played at some of
the hottest spots in the
area. DJ's must provide
their lists to MW,by
A 0 A M S M 0 R G A N
EI Faro - 2411 18th Street, N.W
202-387-6554 - Latino Dance Bar/Restaurant for men
and women. Open 7 days - lunch & dinner.
,
Jolt 'n Bolt - 1918 18th Street, N.W, #4
202-232-0077 Coffee & Tea House
NOR THE: A S T
Delta Elite - 3734 10th Stret:t, N.E.
202-529-0626 - Dance Bar, mostly men weekends only.
CAPlrUL HILL
Bachelor's Mill - 1104 8th Street, S.E.
202-544-193 I - Dance Bar, mostly men, upstairs
Back Door Pub - 202-546-5979 (top floor of
Bachelor's MilQ
Mr. Henry's - 601 Pennsylvania Avenue, S.E.
202-546-8412 - Victorian Pub and Restaurant
sour H E A S T
Club 55 - 55 KSt., S.E. - Drag Bar (Sundays Only).
ESCORTS
ESCORTSIIJ THERE WILL BE A $40.00 CHARGE PER
MONTH(or any portion thereof) FORPLACINGANAD IN
THIS SECTION OF METRO ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY.
PLEASE DROP OFF OR MAIL YOUR AD ALONG WITH
A $40.00 PAYMENT TO MW, 724 9th ST., NW, SUITE
429, WASHINGTON, DC 20001. MAKE CHECK OR
MONEY ORDER PAYABLE TO MW. WE MUST
RECEIVE PAYMENTBY5O'CLOCKONTHETHURSDAY
BEFORE THE WEEK YOU WOULD LIKE YOUR AD
INSERTED.
VARSITY MENOur guys are so hot you could fry an egg
on them. If you've got the spark, we've got the sizzle.
For friendly. discreet and enthusiastic service, why
don't you call us?And we also welcome newMen. (202)
389-2078 [602-1]
BOYSTOWN CREW, featuring D:C.'s hottest young
men. "We're EXTREMELY SELECTIVE. Shouldn't you
be?" (202) 462-2697. Also Hiring-!602-2]...,_......,...........,..
BOYS*UNLIMITEOHandsome fun Boys and Men full of
excitement. ALSO... Discreet Women for Discreet
Women. (202) 547-0297 Always Hiring. [602-3]
SHORT&SWEETSmart &Sexy. Congenial young 5'6",
swimmer's build. Massage. Marc (202) 234-0705 [602-
MASSAGE FOR GENTLEMEN Caring, mature GWM
offers full body, sensuous massage. Days/Evenings.
DuPont/Adams Morgan. Andy (202) 328-7917 [602-5)
BLACK, MUSCULAR athlete gives sensual or thera-
peutic massage to anyone, including couples & over-
weight persons. (301) 680-9198
GIJOEExtremelyhandsomeArmyStud, 5'11",175#, bV
br, built, masc., endowed. (202) 745-1771 [630-7L
HANDSOME, STRONG, hairy, endowed, 30 y/o Latin.
Loves to please. Rick (301) 608-0720 [602-8L
YOUNG 19 Y/O BOY, 5'11".135#, brlbr, smooth, safe,
in/out. Chad (202) 232-3365 [602-91'-:-:::--_--:-:"""':'
VERY HANDSOME, 21 y/o, clean-cut & masc. Hot
smooth swimmer's build. Hard, 8uckable, imaginative,
safe and discreet. (202) 462-9219 [602-10]...,--,-...,....-
HANDSOME, MUSCULAR. QUALITY GUY, defined
pees, hot butt, endowed, versatile, In/Out, Am/Pm.
Danny (202) 667-2065 [630-11]
ALL AMERICAN handsome, masc. rock hard muscle
boy available for massage. Mike (202) 328-1041 [602-
MODELS/ESCORTS. Interviewing qualified young ap-
plicants to join select service run by honest profession-
als who will treat you with respect. Also one opening
for a rent free living arrangement. (202) 546-9655 [602-
TALL. BLONDE, LEAN, hard and smooth. No attitude.
I'mwaiting foryou. Page me, Eric. (703) 213-2911 [602-
SEXY STALLION to curry your favor. Blond, hard,
smooth, masc., muse., 27. Call now (202) 296-6752
HOT BLONDE GERMAN STUD Young clean-cut stu-
dent, very cute and good-looking, ex-military, endowed,
versatile, masc. athletic, 26, 5'10", 160, bVbI, friendly.
Erotic full-body massage, safe, discreet, in/out, am/pm.
Hot hung pal available to double your pleasure. Dirk
(202) 333-8763 [602-16]
NEWSERVICE ON THE HILL, specializing in the plea-
sures of the Man, needs quality assistance. Call
for interview (202) 544-4238 [602-16]
ALL AMERICAN ROTC STUD, hot young college stu-
dent, very cute boyish looks with fun body, nicely hung,
versatile, mild to wild scenes. 25, 5'9", 150#, bllblue,
clean shaven, friendly, discreet and safe. Discounts for
military and students, in/out, am/pm, extra pal available.
Danny (202) 338-3097 [602-17] ...,....-_:-
EXOTIC, TANTALIZING, erotic, fun, provocative, safe.
25,5'9", 155#, bVbr. (202) 986-1754 [602-18]
GOOD-LOOKING & MUSCULAR, well endowed and
knows how to work it. Cody (703) 722-3546 [602-18]
YOUNG LATINO, 21, very handsome, provides sen-
sual nude massage. 202-319-9183 [609]
MARINEBODYBUILDERHandsome, blond, Colt Model,
6", 210#, 48" chest, 31" waist, 18" arms. Clean-cut,
defined, tanned. In or out. Discreet. Dave 202-398-
1249. (See photo ad). [609]
*METROPOLITAN*MEN*ESCORTSII MD, DC's and
VA's hottest young MEN. If your flavors/fantasies range
from All American to that cute, ready to be shaved
Leather-Boy, we've got that personaiized touch just for
you. for Safe, Reliable and always DISCREET service.
301-990-9229. HIRING.
EARLY BIRD SPECIAL. Hot black top from Detroit will
warm your moming buns. Relieve extra stiff muscles
with a hot oil rubdown. Marc is 26, 5'11", 180, w/ footbal
players build. He is masculine, very handsome and
exceptionally equipped. Special daytime rate. Call Black
Stallion Escorts @202-217-9328 to schedule an appt.
Out only.:..!609]
FANTASIES -a-m-a-s-cu"'7
li
:""n-e"':'"b':"'"la-c:"'"k-m-a-n
help you fulfill your wildest fantasy. He is well-equipped
with the right tools to get the job done. Hot buddy
availablesometimes. Call Black Stallion Escorts @202-
217-9344 to schedule an
BLACK BASKETBALL JOCK. Steve is 24, 6', 175,
athletic, exceptionally handsome and gives great as-
sists on and off the court. Masculine bottom with sexy
legslbuns. Call Black Stallion Escorts@202-217-9344
to schadule an _
BIG&TALL ESCORT. Gil, WM, 29, 6'3",185, handsome,
athletic, articulate, well-versed, and masculine is avail-
able eveningslweekends. you won't be disappointed
this time. Call B&W Prime Escorts @ 301-308-5384. to
schedule an appointment. In/Out. [609]
YOUNGEX-MARINE- Kevin isWM, 24, 6', 175, blackflat
top and blue eyes. Handsome, athletic, smooth, mascu-
line and friendly. Available early in hte day and after
midnight M-F and anytime weekends. Call B&W Prime
Escorts @ 301-510-9044 [609]
TRY HUGHI HUGH G. RECTION - 2 of them. 2 hot guys
- 20's, built, hung, versatile, experienced. Mild to Wild.
Legs of death. VNDC. In/Out. Anytime. 703-527-5465
[609]
MORE ESCORTS ON THE FOlLOWING PAGES
COLT MODEL
BLOND MARINE
BODYBUILDER
6', 210 Ibs, 48 C, 31 W, 18 a
DAVE
(202)398-1249
I
5'11 "
53" C
19" A
29" W
28" T
2251bs.
r. ue ec
202-546-6587
$2-3.$O/MINUTE NO CREDIT CARD NEEDED APE SAN RAFAEL CA fa. YEARS
2to per minute
.......
eAr guys
'rea" cum!
Most {icit
Phone tt
rouCanyet!
Live Groups
Live Ooe-oo.Qle
SiD6Dg Rcorded Stories.
Down 'n Dirty Mewges
1-80G-827- .
wt
ot ......1.
C
S .!,
., II .... III
HO,9TiiES
,.... t.. If Spo.I.II.,.""
99/.11...... Mo."
(!lllh: (,til \II\Il
.. 1dl
-
1800850TELL
\
,
B&W PRIME
ASSOCIATES
A service ror gentlemen in the
Baltimore-Washington Area.
ow open 24 hours each day.
Always hlrlns quality escorts.
301-308-5384 .
II \1'''' 1101 B ... I'U 1\1. ...
I all 1'" I' ,I, Ia i 1- .
PRIME ESCORTS
Gorgeou white men you dream of -
stop dreaming, they are real
and waiting for your can.
1.0\\ 1.... 1 B HI ....
",. "H,... Ih,' 1,,,,,'-1 1'011"- ill Ih,' 01 ... 01
fell' ellialil\ "-",,,,(-,
BLACK STALLIO ESCORTS
Men the way you like them - friendly,
strong and very handsome.
SOOTHING MASSAGE SERVICE
Muscular and trim black masseurs -
strong and gentle hands
='s total satisfaction.
6'2", 215 LBS.
of sexy muscled beef
no bull!!!
Extra Large Meat
safe & discreet
guaranteed!
,
AFTER HOURS TIPS
,
T h e
B.
a c k R o 0 m
bySeanBugg
infomercial is a
by
at five in the
morning
a Thighmas.ter
the morning.
Also essential-is some form of electronic en-
the vibrntor under the bathroom sink where it
cenrrnuon.
This is what
they mean by
open house.
Check your beq-
room, batl'oom
and closets peri-
odically for those
unexpected
couplings and. terrifyi ng sight
triplirtgs that can
occur. If .
not careful they
may use your ,
lube, leaving you high and dry for your own
private sunrise service with some guy whose
name yo,:! can't quite remember, but he sure is
cute.
, .
You may want to take the precaution oflock-
ingthe bedroom Some guests make think
you're rude, but screw'em, it's your house. Plus
there's nothing worse than rolling over onto a
wet spot you had nothing to do with.
I
'VE NOTICED,mAT when a club begins to clear
around four a.m., there's always a crowd that
refuses to give up the ghost and go to bed. In-
stead, with the desire to continue the stimulat-
ingconversation (and have that one last chance
at getting lucky), they decide to check out an
after hours party.
As with most other forms of social interac-
tion, some rules need to be set to ensure that a
host will risk having another one next week.
Invitations. Custom dictates that an invita-
tion cannot be given until after two o'clock. All
invitations must be verbal. Pre-printed invita-
tions kill the spontaneity associated with these
events. Besides, half the fun of an after hours
party is trying to remember where it is (and
then trying to prove you were actUally invited).
The bane of the after hours existence is the
uninvited guest, which usually comes in a pack
of ten. Handle these creatures preemptively at
the club by giving them invitationS to someone
else's apartment on the other side of town (for
example, your ex-boyfriend's). .
What do you do when a friend decides to
host yet another after hours party when the last
three have been disasters? Send him home to
get the place ready. When he's gone, change
the location. .
Essentials to have on hand. Planning for
the party goes against the letter and spirit of
after hours law. Guests should feel as ifthey are
making a partyout ofwhatever and whoever is
available. The onlyadditions they need are what
they have left from the bar and what they can
pick up at the 7-11.
Still, there are basic essentials that all Party
Queers should have on hand: an ice maker, Diet
Coke, tonic, a large bottle ofcheap vodka (hide
the Stoll), and a collection ofMcDonald's Ju-
rassic Park glasses. The importance of having
plastic glasses cannot be underestimated oth-
erwise, all your good crystal will be smashed by
some twisted queen who's moving to Miami in
ace 1
ace 1
ace 1
Clickyour heels
and come on in.
Nightly specials!
1519 17th Street NW Washington DC 20036 202-328-0090
Play Safe Party Smart