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Tony Robbins Madanes: Coachtraining http://robbinsmadanescoachtraining.com/?

?p=148 The 6 needs the most important forces - in human life, to control your emotions, decisions and destiny: - certainty (to be comfortable and avoid pain a powerful survival instinct) - variety (to have stimulus, change and surprise in life) - significance (to feel special and worthy of attention) - love and connection - growth - contribution You can meet your need for significance by being courageous and creating the life of your dreams or you can feel significant by having a big problem that you cannot solve. You can meet your need for certainty by deciding to believe in yourself but you can try to feel certain by deciding not to leave your house again. You can feel connection through giving love to others or feeling self-pity. Whatever behaviours you are noticing in yourself, whatever emotional patterns you are struggling with ask yourself: which of the six human needs am I meeting through this behaviour? When you understand that youll understand the deeper reasons for your behaviour. So, ask now: Which do you focus on most? What do you do to meet that need? That top need is the biggest factor that controls your life. What do you meet that need? What emotions do you engage in? What actions do you do? What are your emotional triggers? Do you feel guilt, anger, loneliness, selfpity? Now circle the top five emotions for you. These emotions correspond to the quality of your life. What do you do when you feel unworthy from time to time? You can have a powerful focus to create change, have all the right tools and strategies and ye,t if you have an inner conflict that prevents you from accessing your true power to create change in your life real change will never happen. Leverage when change becomes a must. Whenever you want to make a change it is essential that you activate your physiology, that you change the way you breathe, stand, walk. Personal change is not a mental event. What have you been avoiding in your life? Is there something so uncomfortable that you are even afraid to bring it up? What about confronting and overcoming once and for all? How do you see yourself a big or a little? Is there a part of you inside that knows and sees better than the rest of you? If that part of you were to stand up and take charge of you, what would it do?

One of our biggest obstacles to progress is our tendency to generalize our behaviours instead of recognizing when were doing something truly different.... Whenever you want to change something you have to draw a clear line between a healthy emotional state and a painful emotional state. When people are afraid to stand up for themselves they will give reasons for not doing so.
Many women who were abused as children end up with an internal conflict which cause them to gain weight. So they end up with health problems on top of the trauma of being abused. When people are

wounded and develop an inner conflict it causes them to go into a shrinking pattern or what we call a pattern of reaction. Where instead of creating your life you are reacting to other peoples limitations. 1. When people are in a reactive pattern they shrink away from their power to do what they want to influence their relationships. They accept being treated badly or they silently rebel against the people in their lives or they habitually sacrifice their own desires. 2. They shut down their relationships and communication 3. They use food to manage things that food cant fix Have you been in a shrinking pattern? Have you shrunk away from your power to influence the people in your life or do you feel restrained and restricted from expressing your true self? Do the people in your life know your real needs and thoughts or have you kept all that to yourself shutting them out? When something in your life upsets you do you solve the problem or do you use food to manage your emotions? If you are in a shrinking pattern its time to break out and live a real life on your terms. When you have a change to make its important to visualize your life one year from now when the change is complete Step 6: Condition the new pattern until it is consistent Step 7: Test it When you avoid people, when you dont stand up for yourself, when you dont feel comfortable with yourself unless you are doing something then you feel unworthy. And when people feel unworthy one way they express this is through feeling envy for others.

When you have a habit that you have reinforced for years, that habit is a connection in your nervous system. You cannot wish that connection away, you need to reprogram yourself with a new neural connection. What do you do to make yourself feel good? Do you eat? Distract yourself with work or entertainment? Connect with friends? Do something physical or intellectual? Write down at least 10 options. The typical pattern for unhappy people is to under-appreciate themselves and to seek significance by criticising or envying other people. Integrity is one of the highest values you can have. It means youre focused on your own code of conduct and your outcome instead of worrying about what other people will do. When you have an important emotional experience save it by linking it to something that will remind you of what you learned. You dont have to create yourself God did that, the only thing you have to do is to return to yourself. True fulfilment in life does not happen when you became some ideal person different than yourself. Happiness comes when youre comfortable expressing who you really are at your core: a loving, happy person.