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DAVID KENNY'S ERINDIPITY # 2: Longest distance sailed down the Amazon in a bath tub. Michael Flatley said we need to shed the old image of Ireland being a land of drunken leprechauns urinating outdoors on St Patrick's Day. He is also right: we need to ditch the leprechaunism and appear more dynamic while retaining our Irishness.
DAVID KENNY'S ERINDIPITY # 2: Longest distance sailed down the Amazon in a bath tub. Michael Flatley said we need to shed the old image of Ireland being a land of drunken leprechauns urinating outdoors on St Patrick's Day. He is also right: we need to ditch the leprechaunism and appear more dynamic while retaining our Irishness.
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DAVID KENNY'S ERINDIPITY # 2: Longest distance sailed down the Amazon in a bath tub. Michael Flatley said we need to shed the old image of Ireland being a land of drunken leprechauns urinating outdoors on St Patrick's Day. He is also right: we need to ditch the leprechaunism and appear more dynamic while retaining our Irishness.
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# 2: Longest distance During her years at sea, Violet was
sailed down the
present at two maritime disasters and one close call. By a strange Rob’s bath Amazon in a bath tub coincidence, the ships she was working on at the time were the ‘three was the MICHAEL Flatley may be light on his sisters’ of Harland and Wolff’s ‘Olympic Class’. only thing feet but he can never be accused of mincing – least of all his words. On 20 September 1911, Violet was on board the Olympic when it collided preventing Last week the all-man, superhero- boxing-champ dancer caused ripples with the warship, HMS Hawke, off the Isle of Wight. The latter was nearly his bottom on either side of the Atlantic when he launched a broadside on the new capsized and the Olympic was seriously damaged, but miraculously from Ireland. He told the US Ireland Forum that: no one was killed. The following April she transferred getting A:) the Celtic Tiger is NOT dead B:) we are in danger of losing our to the Olympic’s sister ship which was (cue drum roll) – the Titanic, which nibbled by identity and C:) we need to shed the old image of sank mid-Atlantic on 14 April 1912. Violet survived and word spread of piranhas Ireland being a land of drunken leprechauns urinating outdoors on St her habit of being on board boats that crashed. Therefore, it must have been and water Patrick’s Day. Now, some may say this leprechaun a case of ‘brown trouser time’ for the sea dogs of the Brittannic when they snakes etc remark is ironic coming from a man saw her boarding their ship in 1916. who looks like he bathes in Lucozade True to form, on 21 November, the and makes his money from dressing ship struck a mine in the Aegean, with up as an oily Celtic warrior, flailing his the loss of 28 lives. Once again Violet legs all over the shop. (The image is all found herself in a lifeboat thanking the more arresting when you consider her good luck – until she realised her that he does this while fingering his small vessel was being drawn towards A Dub in a flute.) the ship’s propellers. tub: Erindipity does not subscribe to this She leapt out of the boat and was Robert view. Michael Flatley is a National immediately sucked under the Dowling Treasure who promotes our culture surface, banging her head on the keel. worldwide. He is also right: we need to Was this the end of our intrepid ditch the leprechaunism and appear heroine? Was she sinkable after all? make it past closing time, but with a It’s the law, you know.” more dynamic while retaining our Nope. Violet still refused to sink and lot of planning and a large dollop of his R: “No.” Irishness. That quirky, eccentric, was saved by another lifeboat. She own cash, he was on his way. B: “Would you mind stepping out of adventurous quality that made him, went on to live to the venerable age of The journey, undertaken with the vehicle, sir?” for example, the... 84. tinned food, a GPS unit, satellite R: “Yes, I would mind.” While Violet Jessop’s life story photos and maps, started off well. The B: “Why?” Fastest tap dancer in the world revolved around sinks, Robert Peruvians had taken a shine to our R: “Because we’re in the middle of a Dowling’s will forever be synonymous naval hero and he enjoyed a relatively river...” When he recorded a phenomenal with bath tubs. trouble-free run until he reached And so ended – if not exactly in speed of 35 taps per second in 1998 at Huge-hearted Rob can boast that Colombia. There he had to contend those words – Rob’s journey. the age of 39. he travelled the... with the threat of running foul of However, the adventure doesn’t His remarkable feat with taps got ruthless rebel group, Farc. Travelling stop there. He is currently making us thinking about a number of other Longest distance ever as quietly as he could by night, he plans to return and retrieve his tub Irish people with unusual connections in a bath tub stole by their campfires and from Colombia and is looking for to bathroom items. Two that spring to continued into Brazil. funds (Michael Flatley are you mind are Mr Ahern and the Bertie In May 2006 the Donabate man set It was here, unfortunately, that his reading this?). He’s also planning his ‘Bowl’ stadium project that went sail from the town of Iquitos, Peru, in plans went down the plug hole. But it next trip down the Amazon to raise down the toilet in 2002, and ‘Lino’ a plastic bath. His plan was to travel wasn’t a rebel or a hungry fish that funds for disadvantaged South Ritchie and his Finglas flooring single-handedly down the 5,471km ended Rob’s journey – it was a American children – on a jet-ski. showroom. James Joyce is another Amazon – through Colombia and ‘Erindipity The bureaucrat. Rob was presented with a ‘Best of one: he was the first writer to put the Brazil – to raise money for Temple Newspaper Column’ After travelling 804kms down the Irish Award’ by Bertie Ahern for word ‘loo’ in print. (Short for Street children’s hospital. His is based on David river he was told that he couldn’t promoting the nobler side of our ‘Waterloo’, in Ulysses). There’s also singular craft – should you ever wish Kenny’s ‘Erindipity’ continue because he didn’t have a Hibernian nature. He then dropped Dubliner Robert Dowling and the to attempt this yourself – was housed books (Mentor). licence for his bathtub. off the nation’s radar. Erindipity bath he sailed down the Amazon. in a steel frame supported by While there will be Picture the scene: Irishman in a believes it’s now time to honour him Please do not adjust your glasses, stabiliser tanks and powered by a the occasional bath accosted by little man with a properly. Dublin City Council should you did read that correctly. We’ll come 15hp outboard engine. But let’s not get reference to those clipboard and a peaked cap: erect a statue of him on O’Connell to Rob presently, but let us introduce carried away with the technical tomes, it’s all new Rob: “Morning.” Street and we could nickname it ‘Rob- you first to Violet Jessop, who is the... details – this was still a bath and the material. So stop Bureaucrat: “Morning.” a-Dub-in-a-Tub’. only thing preventing his bottom from being so suspicious R: “Looks like rain.” (Smiles). Michael ‘Taps’ Flatley is bound to Most unSinkable woman ever getting nibbled by piranhas and water B (snootily): “Well, you are in a rain approve of any move to applaud such snakes etc. Got any odd forest. Do you have a licence for this...” a true Irishman. If we had more In 1903, Irishwoman Violet set sail for The bath idea came to Rob 25 years stories or facts (waves clipboard in direction of bath- people like Rob we could easily shed England to become a stewardess on earlier when he was chatting to about Ireland? Drop tub) “...vehicle? Sub-section C, the ‘urinating-leprechauns’ image. the White Star Line. This career path friends about what mad thing they all us a line at paragraph One of the Amazonian After all, who wants to be known as was to lead to her being forever wanted to do before they die. Usually, dkenny@tribune.ie river code clearly states that all the ‘wee’ people? chained to the word ‘sink’. these type of conversations never motorised bath-tubs must be licensed. dkenny@tribune.ie
The Lusitania's Last Voyage: Being a Narrative of the Torpedoing and Sinking of the RMS Lusitania by a German Submarine off the Irish Coast May 7, 1915